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Is it okay for a 41-year-old woman to date her 25-year-old son's colleague?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Anu, I am in love with my son's best friend. I know it sounds a bit weird. But technically he is my son's colleague. I was 19 when I became a mother. My husband and I are not compatible so we live in different cities. We are not officially divorced. I am 41, my son's colleague is 25, he's smart, good looking and has told his parents he is interested in me. My son knows that his friend is interested in me. We haven't talked about it yet but he has indirectly suggested that I talk to his Papa ie my husband about it. Do you think it is wrong to fall in love for the first time after being married early to a wrong guy? Apart from my son, my husband and I have no real connection or conversation. This is the first time someone has made me feel so important in his life.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No, nothing is right or wrong; it's just the way we perceive things (a point of view that almost makes everything seem right).
But I am sure there are other reasons that have prompted you to write in here. It's a guy who is much younger. Is this young man also interested in you like you are to him? Is he misplacing his lack of love from his mother through this relationship with you?

Be very cautious about relationships that come from a place of NEED. When the need is filled, the relationship invariably breaks. In your case, with no great close relationships and love from them, you seem to be deriving that from the attention that you get from this young man. He's young and has a whole life ahead of him. He has the luxury to choose who he wants as his life partner by actually getting into the dating scene, right? Where will that leave you?

This line of thinking that I am guiding you into is not to dampen your spirits but to make sure that you are closing all these loose ends before thinking of a relationships. How can you do this? By actually pondering over the questions that I have asked you. That may also involve some talk with the young man as well BUT at his age and maturity there is only that much that he can give you. If you are looking for emotional stability, then think really hard about what is going on...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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My son has got 91 percentile in the recent jee exam , he has next attempt in april, but i feel its difficult for him , can i know about other good colleges in karnataka , as im based their. interested in computer science and aeronautical degree, also advise some recent good courses for his career in india.
Ans: Hello Manoj.
Do not get stressed at this stage. Even though his score is 91 percentile in 1st attempt, he can do well in 2nd attempt. But from the safer side, ask him to appear in the Karnataka State Engineering Entrance Examination also. Even if he scores less in JEE on 2nd attempt, he may good college via the state entrance examination in CSE or aeronautical engineering as per your wish. For your reference, there are 10 colleges in India where you can get admission without a JEE score. To know more details, please copy and paste the following link into your browser- https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/education/news/10-engineering-colleges-in-india-for-pursuing-btech-without-jee-main-2025-score/articleshow/118162587.cms.
There are no such courses to be called as recent. The choice of courses depends upon the interest of your son. Hence there is no need to hurry and get into panic at this stage. Let him appear for both exams first, Ask about his interests, and then choose the course accordingly. I would be happy to suggest you after knowing his scores in JEE+State entrance + his liking.
Till then, ask him to focus only on two engineering entrance exams. Best of luck to your son for upcoming exams.

If satisfied with the reply, please like and follow me, else ask again.
Thanks
Radheshyam

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