Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi Anu ji. I have been hesitating to ask this question. Now I dare to tell my story. Iam married for last twenty five years and having three girls. For the last few years my wife is least interested in sex and remains away from home frequently. In fact before ten years we were living in a locality where one of my wife's friend was living with her family. Her husband was fond of sex with different woman and for this he used her wife to make freinds, cajole them and call them at night for watching blue films. My wife also got trapped in the net and one night I found her missing from bed. The main door was locked from outside. I kept waching her return and she came at 2.30 in night. I pretended sleeping and did not tell anything to my wife but shifted to new colony. Husband of my wife's friend kept coming to new house during my and children's absence. One day I returned from office after one hour and found the man in my house. I asked my wife to stop all this and since than he did not came but my wife started remaining absent from house many often with the lame excuse that she is going to visit her parents. I am upset and doubt that she goes to her friend's house. Should I let it go on?.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's possible she is involved in this vicious loop...
When you confronted your wife when you found the man in your home, what exactly did she say or how did she react? I don't find you sharing this anywhere in your question...and this would give an indication as to where her mind is...
It is quite possible that your wife has been a part of the other couple's exploits and is willing to be a part of it. I guess it requires the two of you actually getting around to talking about what exactly is going on.
If this is going to be her lifestyle, it's necessary to see how this is going to impact the girls at home and also whether you choose to accept this as her lifestyle.

Should you let this go on? - How fine are you with not being a part of this marriage in a way that must be? Are you willing to compromise on your married life? How will this affect the children? How will you work around the fact that your wife is possibly sleeping around with random people? What will your future seem like as a family?
Check your answers to these and you will know exactly what you are okay with and what you are not fine going along with. That will define your next course of action. It's as simple as asking yourself: What is that will truly see me in a happy place? You will know after answering these questions...a good reality check is in order!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 07, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Dear LG, Please don't disclose my name. I don't want to share my personal problems with others. I am 45 years old, married 13 years ago; my wife's age is now 38 years. I got two kids. My wife is pretty (she takes lot of care for her beauty) and I want to live simple. I kept faith on my wife so I didn't interfere in her life. From last four years, I am staying away from family (because of work I have shifted to other city, monthly once I go back , purchase everything, give money for expense and return to job). She keeps her mobile with security. Once, by mistake, I read her WhatsApp message. One of her office client was praising her pics and she was responding to him. So I told her, be official, don't entertain, if they fall behind you and we may face problem. She agreed but is doing the same thing and deleting his messages. Then I wanted to see what all things she does in WhatsApp. So her link I shared in my mobile and started reading her messages. She use to chat with one married person from last three years, she changed his name in her mobile and kept his wife's name. Three years back he proposed her with love song. My wife used to support him, sometimes she used to delete the messages. He knows all my family history. Whenever they get time, they used to talk each other in phone. Some messages I read, they were planning to meet also. She always come home very late, I didn't question her because I kept faith, but as I told you I have two kids in home. If she comes late, they are facing a problem (they stay alone until she comes back). Simultaneously she is chatting with another married friend. She says he is like a brother in front of me, but that person says baby, darling, dear, love, etc, in his conversation and forwarded some love songs and calling her for long drive. My wife replied some other day we will go. He replies, You always says same thing. I will become old one day. Then I was surprised and guided my wife indirectly. I told, don't entertain any person they may start to trouble you or if anybody troubling you please tell I will help you. We got two kids so we got lot of responsibility. She got a clue that I am reading her messages, so immediately she deleted all messages and after some days she deleted their numbers, along with that she deleted some other numbers also!  Why, I don't know. Once I told my son, beware, I can track you and tell where are you going and what are you doing. But from that day onwards, my wife is blocking her internet at 6 pm (when her office closes) and unblocking when she returns home. I am worried regarding this behaviour. I have stopped reading her messages now. But now I am feeling very uncomfortable because her behaviour is very soft with me, (previously she was very aggressive, she used to fight with me unnecessarily.) Please guide me how to handle the situation. What can I do now? Sometimes I feel I should leave everything go somewhere or is it a punishment for marrying a pretty girl? What to do? Please guide how handle the situation. Regards.
Ans:

So, in a nutshell, you think your wife was flirting behind your back, you dropped some hints and then she has either stopped, or then stopped you from spying on her phone.

First of all, why are you dropping hints to her instead of talking straight? Which husband is going to appreciate his wife being wooed by other men with all this darling-baby love talk?

Even if she’s not having an affair, the flirty behaviour is bound to make you uncomfortable. Don’t you think you should call her out on it instead of pretending like some other man is making her uncomfortable?

Clearly, she’s enjoying the attention!

You seem very timid and intimidated by your wife. And if her behaviour has changed toward you for the better because you suspect she is guilty of something, all the more reason to get to the bottom of it!

Stop playing games and pussyfooting around her. Do some straight-talking for a change instead of going behind her back and reading messages!

And FYI, being good-looking doesn’t give any spouse licence to make their partner insecure!

 

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Dear Love Guru, My wife and I are in an arranged marriage since around 15 years and there is nothing that we celebrate about our relationship, except kids which are the only reason for our existing relations. I am working abroad and have visits for a month on vacation after every couple of months. After marriage, I noticed my wife’s flirting behaviour with strange men (to seduce) during many occasions but initially ignored it. However, I found it frustrating when I felt her to be habitual flirter. I then spoke to her, which was after around 2.5 years of our marriage, and she denied the matter. Soon noticing such perpetual habits about her, we went on for non-talking terms some time and then a storm broke out in our house. My parents and her parents supported her, since I couldn’t prove any of her behaviour. She has been lying since her behaviour was noticed and even after that, but my love for her and my child (at that time) made me feel that probably that I need to avoid any suspicious behaviour. Such storm was repeated even recently few years earlier. I had thought my idea of a second child would improve our relations, but it hasn’t helped. I could still notice her flirting behaviour with strangers and even with known personnel including my relatives. I even believe her to be in relationship with one of my cousins, based on my observations of their behaviour during our every meet, which I cannot speak of due to my previous experience and which will otherwise definitely terminate our relations. Actually, we are never on good terms these days whenever I visit home and mostly converse only if required. We are also not good in bed and I have also been feeling a low erectile in bed these days. These moments have affected me psychologically and I feel very negative about our relationship. My family remains my priority and I have been trying to see that we all are all happy as a family. I have even sacrificed my own family time for better earnings so that my family can get all the best in life. She takes good care of the children and manages the house nicely. I also ensure that we, as a family, go out on long journeys for travel and my children are everything for me. I have trying to cope up with all this by focusing on work and socialising with friends to the best extent possible. However, her behaviour (in spite of my presence) makes me feel negative. How can I deal with the matter since any re-attempt on my part to speak on the same matter, even if cordially, with my wife will create another storm like earlier? I wish to sort out the differences and need your advice. Should we meet a counsellor separately on this to sort out the matter? Keep me anonymous and respect my privacy.
Ans:

You’ve been sweeping the same issues your marriage has faced from the very beginning under the carpet for 15 years. Why?

And instead of addressing the issues, you decided to go ahead and have a second child?

Having a child is a joy in itself, but it is never the solution to marital woes; in fact, in most cases it only exacerbates the problem.

From everything you’ve told me, you seem to come across as an insecure husband.

I’m not saying that what you’ve told me is untrue, but you keep suspecting your wife of flirting with random men and have no proof of it.

Both sides of the family support her and let me tell you, unless she is a master of deception, no one can conceal their true nature so well from everyone else for the better part of two decades.

Maybe what you construe as flirting is simply her being friendly? Maybe you’re just not comfortable with the manner in which she interacts with other men?

Have you ever managed to prove her inappropriate relations? And when you accuse her, she blows up at you... a guilty party would not react in so volatile a manner.

I do think marital counselling is in order. And yes, maybe separately at first and then together.

Contact a good therapist and do it sooner rather than later... 15 years has been long enough!

 

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I have been married from 15 yrs. I have a 9 yrs old son with me. In oct 21 my wife (age 38) started making REELS on insta of the facial acting. She got involved and told me that she is just doing for followers and like. People used to comment good and bad which i didnt like. She was trying to make young guy friends. In april 2022 she had an affair with a 22-year-old boy who was not even financial stable. I could she changes in her every day. In June 2022 I caught her and she confess that she did affair and also done physical relationship. I had unconditionally loved her all these years and didn’t wanted to let her go. Also, didn’t wanted to hurt my son by taking a divorce. That guy refused to keep my son and their relation broke, but my wife still loved him and missed him. Few months she was in depression and I took her upmost care and swallowed what she did. I just told her that please come back to our life as you were before but she was not getting back. There used to be few quarrels, she was just staying alone within herself and I never felt that love which she used to give me. Later in feb23 there was a marriage at her family and I agree to go with her so she may get that feel during our times and she promised me to enjoy the marriage and make love with me. But she was happy with her relative and didn’t even bother to make that love and affection with me. from that time, I used to get angry and fight with her. I went into depression. In May 2023 she was getting worst and one day fight increased and I asked her to leave my house which I wasn’t intentionally wanted to. She left and went missing 24 yrs and then called from her mom mobile who was in her village, since she didn’t come back home and from last two month, she has been asking me money for herself and says it’s her rights. She doesn’t bother for my son and just show that she loves him. She works and stay with woman from 6 months and I’m looking after my son all alone. I told her u can work but just come home and make things better for my son. Her conditions is to give money security (money) then only she will return. All my family says she is just behind money and doesn’t care what I and my son is going through. She is not guilt for what she did. 15 yrs of marriage has been ruin and now she has no shame at all. She talks rudely if i dont send her money and now I refused sending her. Please advice what do I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have done a lot to try and get her back. What can you do if she doesn't want to acknowledge your efforts or appreciate what family life is! One would imagine that a child in the equation may bring about a change in heart but that doesn't seem to be the case here at this moment.
Your family members are right in their mind about the way that see your wife as they have been observing how this has impacted you and your son.
Either you wait for her to come to her senses OR simply learn to live life without her. If the outside world of social media is what seems to satisfy her, no matter what you do, she will be dissatisfied and unhappy. This only means that she has to learn and appreciate what she has with you and your son.
It is also possible that she has been disinterested in the marriage for a while now and has been seeking approval and validation from people on social media. Even if this is the case, being angry with you is understandable BUT what about her own child? What makes her not want to deal with that reality? If you need an answer to this, simply WAIT and WATCH without begging her to come back...That will give you an idea as to where her mind is and then decide on the future course...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, I married 1 year ago my wife told me she was forced to do a marriage against her concern and she didn't want the marriage life and wanted to live as strangers, also she refused to take wife responsibilities at home i have waited trusting she would change but she never changed. She is alone daughter to her parents borned after 16 years to their parents and she used to live outside around 17 year for her studies. After marriage whenever her parents come she used to ignore me, also she work in private sector and not share even single rupee to home. However all house hold work i do being boy, also she is not at all interested in intercource as well. After marriage 2 week she stayed in PG stating that my close friend will go to native allow me to spend time with her reast all i will be with you like. I agreed. Later 6 Month she used to give reasons for intercource i got periods, rashes, not feeling good, tiered, no mood, etc this happen till 6 month. After this we had 4 times in 2 month with protection that too just for 1 or 2 min as she mentioned lot of pain, after that she started avoiding, since i was not fulfilled by sex desire i started making extra marital affairs in facebook and turned to whatsapp only text, one fine day she saw all msgs i did with extra marital affair and she took photos of that and went to PG without informing any one. Later both families elder sat and asked she used to show the msgs that i did with extra marital affairs and she wanted seperate now from me. Though i accepted the extra marital affairs only interms of msgs and since you not willing to do sex i choose this way i mentioned. But she dont like to come back now. Her father took 2 month of time that he will change her mind set but i dont think she can. As her mother is also not good women, suporting her daughter and making such big issues and she also not interested in this marriage itself.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes people are just not ready for marriage and here your wife certainly came along with a huge baggage of unresolved issues behind her.
Marriage requires both partners to be responsible not just towards one another but take an active interest in their roles. This calls for maturity from both partners here.
Now, this was never a possibility with your spouse as she felt the marriage was a forced one. That is enough to destroy any chances of the marriage falling in place. You are also in a soup now that she has found her 'proof' that gives her a ticket out of this marriage.
The question here is: Do you want this marriage? If YES, then you will have to start down the part of proving your innocence and what led to what and how and when...If NO, then since your spouse has found her ticket to freedom, the only thing you might have to do is clearly state and not explain anything as to how things went downhill right from the beginning. Her parents may believe you or not, but that's what your decision needs. They may try to malign you in the family, just stick to your version of what happened and move on.
So, you are at that point where you need to make a decision. What is it going to be?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi.. good evening.. i want your advise.. we are married for 6 months now and we had a arranged marriage. My mistake was not informing my wife about my past relationship which we had broken up badly and immediately after my marriage my ex girlfriend shared our pictures with my wife purposefully and she got upset with that and me and my family convinced my wife that i have broken up with her and i dont have any contact with her and it is true and i am loyal to my wife. Everthing was normal after that and 2 months passed and i observed that my wife is in regular contact with a guy on phone whom she calls friend and talks to him daily. I confronted this to her and she told that he is just her freind and he had helped her before during her difficult times. Again this continued and i asked her to stop contacting him daily and even though he is a friend what is the point in talking to him daily and she just cried telling that i am controlling her and she feels like she has no freedom and is in jail and i am not allowing her to talk to her friends. After this she limited her talks with him and seemed fine by me as it is just a friendly casual talks 2 to 3 times a week. One day she asked me reply to one of her emails and wanted to upload some file. While i went to upload i had access to her google photos and i was shell shocked to see lots of photos of her with this guy whom she calls friend and in close proximity. Also there are pictures of them dated 3 to 4 years back and also the most hurting part is the pictures of her with him after our marriage as well. She had told me that they have a college get together and reunion and she had went with him on that day and stayed overnight as well. I was literally shocked by this and confronted her immediately and then she told me that she was in relationship with him and her parents did not agree so couldnt marry him and even he also cancelled many marriage proposals because of her and she betrayed him and happily married now with me while he is still not married and she feels guilty as all this happened to him because of her and so she talks to him daily and she can only feel ok once he is married. I told her she has to stop talking to him if we want to keep this marriage.. she tells me if i leave her she is dead as even her parents wont accpet her and also he (her ex boyfriend) will not accept her and she says she has nowhere else to go.. she still cares for me though but i dont know what else to do.. she still talks to him 2 to 3 times a week... please advise how to go about this
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your wife was never into this marriage and it became convenient for her to pursue a link with her ex-boyfriend once she found out about your past.
Everything that she does now being justified. You are right in putting your foot down, but have you seen a favorite toy being snatched away from a child? The need for that toy only gets stronger.
The way that you can counter this is by showering her with a lot of care and attention as I do gather that the two of you want this marriage. You want it as you are in love with your wife, she wants it as she has nowhere to go. Fair enough! The reasons right now might not be the same BUT someday with much love going into the relationship, the two of you can be on the same path.

Now, the question is: Are you willing to wait and pour more into the relationship? She will waver for a while going back and forth between you and that guy; it will hurt you...There will be a lot of anger and perhaps feelings of inadequacy in you, BUT you know that it's not the case. Can you persist on this journey? I sincerely believe that somewhere along the way, she is bound to stick by you when she realizes the stability that you can offer and that the sheen out there will wear out. Possible? Are you willing? If you are, go for it...Love, care, stability, security is something that is core in any marriage...be a part of it!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9846 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi
Money
I'm a 35-year-old single mom with two kids and a monthly income of 1.2L. I bought a 2BHK five years ago on loan (24L still unpaid) thinking it was a smart investment, but I now live on rent closer to my kids' school. The flat is lying vacant, maintenance and EMIs eat up 28K monthly. I don't have any SIPs, insurance, or emergency fund. I have only EPF from my last job (3.5L). Should I sell the flat at a loss and restart my financial life? Please help
Ans: You’ve built a life for your kids. That’s inspiring.

Buying a house seemed right at that time. But priorities change. Kids and stability matter more now.

Your question is bold and brave. Let's create a complete action plan, covering all sides.

? Income and Financial Situation

– You earn Rs 1.2 lakh per month. That’s a strong base.

– You are a single mother. So financial discipline is even more important.

– Your home loan EMI and flat maintenance are Rs 28,000 monthly.

– You also pay rent for another house. That’s double housing cost.

– No SIPs, no insurance, and no emergency fund adds pressure.

– You have Rs 3.5 lakh in EPF. It’s not liquid, but helpful.

– You’re emotionally and financially stuck between two homes.

? Understand the Financial Drain

– The flat is lying vacant. So no rent income is coming from it.

– But maintenance and EMI continue every month.

– This is dead weight in your monthly cash flow.

– That Rs 28,000 is about 23% of your income.

– Plus, rent from your current home takes more money.

– You are losing both money and mental peace.

– You are not wrong. But now it’s time to act smart.

? Home is Not Always a Good Investment

– Many people assume a house is an “asset”.

– But if it doesn’t give income or use, it’s a liability.

– Appreciation in price is never guaranteed.

– You still owe Rs 24 lakh loan on it.

– And there is no tenant, no resale clarity, no usage.

– So the flat is not helping you build wealth or cash flow.

– This is not your fault. It’s a common mistake.

? Should You Sell the Flat?

– If you continue holding, you will bleed money monthly.

– You will delay SIPs, emergency fund, and insurance.

– You are always short of breath in your budget.

– If you sell now, even at a small loss, the burden ends.

– Your mind and money become free.

– Loss hurts now. But you’ll recover faster.

– In a few years, you’ll thank yourself for this reset.

– Sell it. Pay off the home loan fully.

? Use the Sale Wisely

– From the sale proceeds, clear the entire home loan.

– If anything remains, keep Rs 1.5–2 lakh as emergency fund.

– This is your lifeboat for future shocks.

– Don’t rush into new real estate or other risky investments.

– Protect this money like oxygen.

– Put it in a separate bank account.

– Let it stay there until you plan your investments properly.

– You can’t grow wealth without safety first.

? Don’t Fall for “It’s a Loss” Emotion

– Selling at a small loss is not failure.

– Every month you hold is a bigger invisible loss.

– Loan interest, flat maintenance, and missed investments cost you more.

– You are losing time, money, and peace monthly.

– The earlier you exit, the cleaner the slate.

– Let go with purpose, not guilt.

– This is financial self-respect.

– It’s not giving up. It’s moving forward.

? Get Basic Insurance First

– Start with term life insurance. Cover at least Rs 50 lakh to Rs 1 crore.

– You are the only earner. So this is must-have.

– Premium is low if taken early and directly.

– No need to buy investment-linked plans.

– Avoid ULIPs or endowment policies.

– Choose pure term insurance with claim settlement ratio above 95%.

– Also get family floater health insurance.

– Medical expenses can destroy years of savings.

? Start Emergency Fund Immediately

– After selling the flat, build Rs 1.5–2 lakh liquid fund.

– Keep it in a separate savings account.

– Don’t invest it. Don’t touch it for shopping.

– This is your financial safety button.

– You need 4–6 months of expenses in hand.

– EPF is not an emergency fund.

– Liquid cash gives confidence and reduces anxiety.

– It helps avoid loans and credit card usage in crisis.

? Begin SIPs Gradually

– Once flat is sold, you’ll have monthly EMI savings.

– Use that freed-up money for SIPs in mutual funds.

– Don’t go for direct funds.

– Direct funds need self-analysis, which takes time and expertise.

– Better to go through MFD backed by a Certified Financial Planner.

– They guide based on your goals, not market hype.

– Regular plans through CFPs offer tailored planning and personal attention.

– Performance difference is worth the fee.

? Avoid Index Funds for Now

– Index funds are passive. They follow the market, but give no flexibility.

– In volatile times, active funds protect downside better.

– You need risk-managed growth, not just tracking.

– Actively managed funds are researched by professionals.

– With CFP support, you get the right mix of equity and debt.

– Index funds don’t offer this personalised strategy.

– Avoid them until your goals are solid and risk is low.

? Don’t Buy Real Estate Again for Investment

– You saw it yourself—it’s not liquid.

– It blocks money and creates stress when unsold or vacant.

– Maintenance, taxes, and EMI make it expensive.

– Investment should give flexibility, growth, and liquidity.

– Mutual funds and bonds are better for wealth building.

– Never mix investment with emotion or family pressure.

– Don’t fall for “real estate is always good” myth.

– Keep your money mobile and free.

? Take Small Steps to Stabilise

– First, fix your cash flow.

– Sell the house. Pay off debt.

– Start insurance. Build emergency fund.

– Then start SIPs with just Rs 5,000 monthly.

– Even small investments grow when done regularly.

– Don’t compare with others. Run your race.

– Every step will reduce pressure on your mind.

– You will sleep better and plan better.

? Get Professional Guidance

– A Certified Financial Planner will guide goal-wise.

– They help you avoid product traps and wrong decisions.

– They give a personalised investment mix.

– They also help balance risk, insurance, tax, and retirement.

– Don’t rely only on app suggestions or blogs.

– Your situation needs hand-holding and accountability.

– With a CFP, you can focus on parenting, not portfolio alone.

– Peace of mind is the real return.

? Finally

– You are strong. You’re holding two lives together.

– Selling the flat is not weakness. It’s smart clarity.

– It opens room for savings, insurance, and future goals.

– Let go of losses now to build gains later.

– Start fresh with safety and small steps.

– You are not late. You are just about to restart.

– And this time, it will be on your terms.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9846 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi, I'm 38, married, and work in a private firm in Bengaluru. My take-home salary is around 1.5 lakhs, but after paying EMIs on two personal loans and one credit card, I barely have anything left for monthly expenses. I have exhausted my emergency fund, I have no SIPs or investments, and feel like I'm drowning. Every month I fall short by Rs 30,000 so I have started borrowing from friends and family. I know I've messed up. I am looking for a new job too. Can someone please help me fix this before it's too late?
Ans: Thank you for opening up. You’ve taken the first brave step—asking for help.

This shows you are ready to take control. That’s powerful.

Let us now build your way back—step by step.

Here’s a full 360-degree plan to bring financial stability and peace into your life.

? Understanding Your Income and Current Crisis

– Your take-home salary is Rs 1.5 lakh per month.

– After EMI payments, you are left with almost nothing.

– You have no savings or SIPs now.

– You’re short by Rs 30,000 every month.

– You're borrowing from friends and family to manage this gap.

– This is not sustainable. You know this already.

– You feel overwhelmed. But this is fixable with action.

– Let’s work together to stop the leak and rebuild slowly.

? Identify the Root of the Problem

– Two personal loans and one credit card are eating your income.

– The EMIs are too high for your current income.

– There is no room left for expenses or savings.

– Borrowing to cover basics is pushing you into deeper stress.

– First, you need to reduce monthly outflow.

– Second, you must stop new borrowing immediately.

– Third, focus only on survival and recovery right now.

– Not investment, not returns—just stability first.

? First Step: List All Your Loans and EMIs

– Write down each loan and credit card separately.

– Note the outstanding balance, interest rate, and monthly EMI.

– Also write how many months are left to repay.

– This gives clarity on what is causing the biggest drain.

– Don’t keep it in your head. Put it on paper.

– You cannot fix what you cannot measure.

– Once written, we can plan a way to restructure.

? Negotiate and Consolidate the Loans

– Contact your bank or lender. Ask to restructure the personal loans.

– Request for lower EMI with longer repayment period.

– This will reduce monthly pressure.

– Ask if they can consolidate both loans into one.

– This makes it easier to manage and track.

– If you have a good repayment record, they may agree.

– Some banks offer “loan against salary” with lower interest.

– Avoid using credit cards to pay other loans. That adds burden.

? Tackle the Credit Card First

– Credit card interest is the highest. Around 36–42% yearly.

– This is a silent killer of your money.

– Try to pay off the full amount urgently.

– If that is not possible, take a small personal loan and close it.

– A loan with 12–14% interest is better than card interest.

– Stop using the card completely for now.

– Freeze it, hide it, or delete it from apps.

– You can use it again only after financial recovery.

? Cut Down All Non-Essential Expenses

– Go through your monthly expenses line by line.

– Remove anything that is not absolutely needed.

– Cancel subscriptions, online shopping, food delivery, etc.

– Use public transport or carpool if possible.

– Inform family about your financial reset plan.

– Say “No” to social spending without guilt.

– This is temporary, but crucial for your bounce-back.

– Every Rs 500 saved gives you some breathing room.

? Emergency Fund is Gone – That’s Okay

– You said your emergency fund is already used.

– That’s exactly what it is for. So don’t feel bad.

– Once we reduce EMIs and stop borrowing, we will rebuild it.

– First goal is just to survive without taking new loans.

– Then create Rs 20,000–30,000 as new emergency buffer.

– Even Rs 5,000 per month is enough to start.

– This is your safety net when life surprises you.

? Job Change Can Help, But Not the Only Way

– You are looking for a new job. That’s good.

– A salary hike will help ease the pressure.

– But don't wait only for new job to take action.

– Job search takes time and is not always predictable.

– Start cost cutting and loan restructuring immediately.

– Once new job comes, use extra income to pay debts faster.

– Not for upgrading lifestyle again. At least not now.

? Family Support: Use It Wisely

– You are borrowing Rs 30,000 monthly from friends or family.

– This cannot go on forever. It strains relationships.

– Instead, ask for a one-time support amount.

– Use that to pay off high-interest debt (credit card, small loan).

– Promise them you won’t borrow again.

– This gives them confidence. It gives you dignity.

– Don’t ask again next month unless it's emergency.

– Honor even informal loans seriously. Trust matters.

? Avoid Emotional Purchases and Financial Guilt

– It’s easy to feel guilt for not providing luxuries to family.

– But this phase needs practical living, not perfection.

– Your self-worth is not your income or loan status.

– Kids need your time, not toys.

– Spouse needs your love, not costly gifts.

– Focus on survival now. Dreams can wait for 12 months.

– Debt freedom is the biggest gift you can give them.

? No Investments or SIPs Yet – That’s Okay

– Don’t start SIPs now. Not even small ones.

– Your focus is to reduce EMI and avoid new borrowing.

– SIPs can come later once budget is balanced.

– Starting investment without emergency fund is risky.

– Build base first, then add investments layer later.

– Don't follow social media advice blindly.

– First fix leaks. Then fill the tank.

? Use a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)

– Not a bank agent or random YouTube advice.

– A CFP will give you step-by-step, personal plan.

– They work with your exact numbers and give real options.

– Avoid direct funds or online-only apps now.

– You need human advice, not just technology.

– Regular funds with CFP-backed MFDs help with handholding.

– You don’t need fancy returns now. You need guidance.

? Psychological Reset is Important

– You said “I’ve messed up.” That’s not fully true.

– You are still earning Rs 1.5 lakh. That’s a strength.

– You are aware of the problem. That’s maturity.

– You are taking help. That’s responsibility.

– Mistakes are not failures. They are signals for course correction.

– What you do now will shape next 10 years.

– Stay calm. Stay honest. Stay consistent.

? Long-Term Actions After Recovery

– Once loans are under control, save 3 months expenses.

– After that, start SIPs for long-term goals.

– Begin with a balanced fund via CFP.

– Build retirement corpus slowly.

– Use insurance for risk protection, not for investment.

– Don’t buy ULIPs or endowment plans.

– Don’t chase high-return apps or crypto.

– Keep your money plan simple and stress-free.

? Finally

– You are not drowning. You are realising and acting.

– Cut expenses. Restructure loans. Pay off credit card.

– Avoid new loans and new EMIs.

– Pause SIPs and luxuries temporarily.

– Create 2–3 small wins each month.

– Keep written budget. Track every rupee.

– Get help from Certified Financial Planner for steady direction.

– Future is still yours to shape.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9339 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2025Hindi
Career
CSE Vs COE in Thapar, which one is better??
Ans: Thapar’s Computer Science and Engineering curriculum emphasizes core computing, data structures, algorithms, machine learning, and offers six elective focuses as Software Engineering and Cyber Security, taught through modern AI/ML and software labs with a 1:15 faculty-student ratio and extensive research collaboration. Its Center for Industrial Liaison & Placement reports nearly 100 percent of CSE undergraduates placed over the last three years, with an average package of INR 11.90 LPA. In contrast, the B.E. in Computer Engineering blends hardware and software—covering cloud computing, computer vision, embedded systems and networking—across specialized labs within a 250-acre campus. Though COE also achieves high placement engagement, with approximately 90 percent of students placed and an average package close to INR 10–12 LPA, its broader curriculum results in a slightly lower conversion rate. Both branches meet key institutional benchmarks: AICTE/A+ NAAC/NBA accreditation, experienced Ph.D. faculty, outcome-based pedagogy, robust industry tie-ups, and positive graduate outcomes. Looking beyond Thapar, CSE graduates command versatile software and data roles, while COE alumni pursue embedded design, networking and systems integration.

Recommendation: Given Thapar’s near-full placement consistency in software and data domains, specialized CSE labs, and stronger average conversion, CSE offers superior career flexibility and higher placement assurance; COE remains a robust alternative for those targeting hardware-software integration and embedded systems. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9339 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Career
Iiit trichy cs vs sastra
Ans: Jaswanth, IIIT Tiruchirappalli’s B.Tech in Computer Science, an Institute of National Importance under the PPP, is AICTE-approved and mentored by NIT Trichy, featuring industry-funded labs, a 1:10 faculty-student ratio, and interdisciplinary projects. Its 2024 placement record shows a 74% overall conversion, with 45% of CSE students placed, an average package of ?12 LPA, and top recruiters like Amazon, Nvidia, and TCS. SASTRA University’s B.Tech CSE, a NAAC A++ and IET-accredited programme at a deemed-to-be University, offers modern computing and VLSI labs, PhD-qualified faculty, and strong research centres. The 2024 UG placement rate was 95.62% with a median package of ?7.60 LPA and over 800 recruiters, reflecting robust industry engagement and consistent outcomes. Both institutions excel in accreditation, faculty expertise, infrastructure, industry collaboration, and graduate success, but IIIT Trichy offers specialized national-level recognition and emerging research synergy, whereas SASTRA ensures broader placement breadth and established interdisciplinary research support.

Recommendation: Considering national-level institute status, emerging research infrastructure, and growing CSE placement momentum, IIIT Trichy’s CSE programme is preferable for a focused IT career trajectory, whereas SASTRA’s CSE serves as a strong backup for its exceptional placement consistency and comprehensive academic ecosystem. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9339 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Career
Sir my son has jee mains ranking 218400 and sc category in 11500 and he got marks 199 in Bits Exams . is it chans get seat in csab counseling ? and is it get seat in Bits? And which best private college in cse for studies and placements.
Ans: Jitendra Sir, With a JEE Main CRL of 218,400 and SC category rank of 11,500, admission to Computer Science and Engineering via CSAB special rounds at NITs or IIIT is effectively closed, as even the most remote campuses’ SC?category CSE cutoffs lie well within the 40,000–60,000 rank band. GFTIs likewise do not offer SC?category CSE seats beyond a 100,000 rank threshold, making CSAB counselling unviable for CSE. A BITSAT score of 199 places your son in a rank bracket above 32,000, below the typical CSE cutoffs for all BITS campuses, thus precluding admission there as well. Consequently, the most reliable pathway is through private engineering colleges that maintain robust CSE programmes, strong accreditations, modern infrastructure, active industry linkages and consistent placement records.

Among northern India’s private universities, reputed options for CSE include J.C. Bose University of Science & Technology (YMCA UST) Faridabad, Jaypee Institute of Information Technology Noida, Galgotias University Greater Noida, and Chandigarh University. These institutions offer accredited CSE curricula, specialized AI/ML and software labs, dedicated placement cells with 80–95% three-year placement consistency, and extensive corporate partnerships. Their eligibility via JEE Main and institutional entrance tests makes them attainable and ensures quality education and strong career prospects.

Recommendation:
Since CSAB and BITSAT options for CSE are not practical, focus on applying to the CSE program at Manipal Campus (if an MQ Seat is available), YMCA Faridabad, JIIT Noida, Galgotias University, and Chandigarh University because they have a good mix of accreditation, facilities, experienced teachers, industry connections, and successful job placements. Ensure timely completion of each institute’s admission processes and consider scholarship and hostel options to optimize both academic experience and return on investment. Ensure you include several of your state’s leading private engineering colleges as backup options for admission with your JEE score. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9846 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Money
My name is Pradeepa,36 yrs old and I m widower.i have 2 kids (8yrs and 6yrs).Now I m working as a Teacher got monthly 13500 and I got rent from my house portion which is 8000 and also got 3000 from tution.This is my earning.My monthly expenditure is 15000 and remain for my kids school fees.i could not able to do any savings from this money.i bought one plot when my husband alive.The rate is 21Lakhs. In that ,16 Lakhs got loan last oct,2024.Now outstanding is 1550000.i try to be sale my plot but it could be late process.but I need to pay monthly EMI of 15840. I have only170gm jewels.which option I can take.can mortgage the jewel and pay the EMI or Sell the jewels and pay the EMI.If I sell the jewel ,I got only 13L only.then need remain 2.5L.or if i mortgage ,then i having two loans(plot and jewel).I m not sure when the plot wil sale.i have big confusion in this.plz give clarity.
Ans: Pradeepa, you are already doing your best in a difficult situation.

Raising two children, running a home, managing loans, and still trying to plan—takes great strength.

You have taken very wise steps so far. Let’s now go step-by-step and bring clarity.

This reply gives you a full 360-degree view on what to do next.

? Your Current Income and Expenses

– Your total monthly income is Rs 24,500.

– It includes salary (Rs 13,500), house rent (Rs 8,000), tuition income (Rs 3,000).

– Your basic expenses are Rs 15,000. That leaves Rs 9,500.

– But your plot EMI is Rs 15,840. So, you have a monthly shortage.

– You are managing this somehow now. But it is not sustainable.

? Plot Loan is Creating Financial Pressure

– Your plot loan is about Rs 15.5 lakh now.

– Monthly EMI is Rs 15,840. It is higher than your monthly savings.

– Right now, you are borrowing or delaying something to pay this EMI.

– This pressure will increase over time if the plot doesn’t get sold soon.

– The loan is not for a house you live in. It’s for a plot.

– Plot is not giving you income, only expenses.

– Paying EMI every month without savings is risky for future.

– So this loan needs to be addressed first.

? Possibility of Selling the Plot

– You said plot is valued at Rs 21 lakh.

– Selling may take time, but the sooner it sells, the better.

– Don’t wait for higher price. Selling now reduces your EMI burden.

– Even if you get Rs 18–19 lakh, you can close the loan.

– You may also get extra money after clearing loan.

– Talk to a trusted agent, keep price realistic, and push the sale.

– Mention that EMI is becoming difficult while negotiating.

? Option 1: Mortgage the Jewellery

– You have 170 grams of gold. That’s a valuable asset.

– You may get Rs 6–7 lakh loan depending on purity.

– But this creates a second loan. Now you will have two EMIs.

– It solves the problem only for short time.

– You will have to pay interest monthly for gold loan.

– It gives you time but not complete relief.

– It’s only a temporary bandage, not a full solution.

– Use this only if you are sure plot will sell in next 3–4 months.

– Else, second loan will also become a problem.

? Option 2: Sell the Jewellery

– You said you may get Rs 13 lakh for the gold.

– Selling will reduce your plot loan from Rs 15.5 lakh to Rs 2.5 lakh.

– This brings your EMI down to Rs 3,000 approx.

– This is very easy to handle from your income.

– It will immediately reduce stress.

– You can save the monthly gap of Rs 13,000.

– Once the plot is sold, use balance money to rebuild gold slowly.

– You can buy back gold in future when you are financially strong.

– This gives you peace and breathing space now.

– Also helps you build small emergency savings again.

– For now, this is the better option compared to mortgaging.

– You reduce loan and don’t add more.

? Which Option Is Better for Your Situation

– Selling the gold is a better option.

– It gives you permanent relief.

– You will only have one small EMI to manage.

– Mortgage is only a short-term help, but adds new stress.

– Avoid having two loans if income is tight.

– Selling gold may be emotionally hard, but it is practical now.

– Peace of mind for you and your children is more valuable.

? Things to Avoid Now

– Don’t borrow from relatives or private lenders.

– Don’t take personal loan to close plot loan.

– Don’t wait too long for plot price to go up.

– Don’t sell gold and keep plot loan running.

– Don’t ignore insurance for yourself.

– If you don’t have term insurance, consider it once EMI is under control.

? What You Can Do Once Pressure Is Reduced

– Once you sell jewellery and reduce EMI, you’ll save Rs 13,000 monthly.

– Use part of that to build emergency savings.

– Keep 3 months of expenses in bank savings or recurring deposit.

– Start small savings for kids' education.

– Begin with Rs 1,000 SIP per child in equity mutual fund via Certified Financial Planner.

– You can increase SIP slowly every year.

– Don’t worry about returns now. Focus on regular saving habit.

– Use mutual funds through Certified Planner who can help with goal-based planning.

– Avoid investing through direct mutual funds. It doesn’t give guidance or reminders.

– Use regular plans with advice. That gives clarity, reviews, and support.

? Protecting Your Children’s Future

– Keep life insurance active. Use term insurance if not yet done.

– It’s cheap and gives big cover for your children.

– Don’t mix insurance and investment. ULIPs and endowments don’t help now.

– For both kids, open savings account. Teach them value of saving.

– Focus on building stable income and health.

– Education is your biggest gift to them.

– Stay strong. You're already doing the right things.

? Simple Plan Going Forward

– Sell gold. Reduce loan. Keep only one EMI.

– Try to close plot loan when buyer comes.

– Save the EMI difference every month.

– Build 3-month emergency fund.

– Start SIPs slowly for kids.

– Rebuild gold in small parts in future.

– Don't add new loans unless emergency.

– Keep a written budget and stick to it.

– Meet Certified Financial Planner once things settle.

? Emotional Strength and Practical Choices

– Selling gold may feel like a loss. But it’s not.

– It’s a step towards freedom from pressure.

– You are not losing asset, you are gaining peace.

– Your late husband would have wanted you to live stress-free.

– Gold can be bought again, but mental health can’t.

– Your kids need a peaceful mother more than gold.

? Finally

– You are handling a difficult situation with courage.

– Selling the gold now is wiser than mortgaging it.

– Reduce EMI stress. Save what you can.

– Focus on income, savings and education.

– Keep your life simple and debt-free.

– You have already shown great strength.

– Keep going step by step. Peace will come.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9846 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, Hope this mail finds you well ! I am a salaried person and in the high tax bracket. I have few STPs from debt fund to Equity fund. However I find that the STPs are incurring a STCG tax and need to report in my ITR. Since I am saving for my children, I plan to start STPs directly in the name of my 2 minor daughters (aged 13 & 7 yrs, they have their individual PAN / Aadhaar card/Bank Account) with my wife as guardian (she has no personal income). Will these help me avoid the STCG tax ?If I wish to continue the STP for 5-10 yrs, will Arbritage fund be better option (since it is more tax efficient) or there is some other debt fund which I can use for monthly STP into Equity fund of my minor children ? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this strategy. Please advise. Thanks.
Ans: You have asked a very thoughtful and important question.

It’s clear that you are planning with clarity and foresight.

Starting STPs for your children’s goals with tax awareness is a smart step.

Your strategy needs to be reviewed carefully from tax, structure, control, and efficiency angles.

Let’s look at it from all sides. Below is a detailed 360-degree perspective to guide you.

? Tax on STPs from Debt to Equity Fund

– STPs are treated as systematic redemption from the source fund.

– If you are using a debt fund for STP, each unit gets redeemed monthly.

– Every redemption triggers capital gain, even if automated via STP.

– As per latest rule, any capital gain from debt fund—short or long—is taxed as per slab.

– Since you are in high tax bracket, every monthly STP triggers income-taxable gain.

– Yes, this is inconvenient. But it’s how taxation works under the new rule.

? Setting Up Investments in Minor Daughters’ Name

– Children’s names in investments offer emotional attachment and tracking clarity.

– But taxation of minor’s income doesn’t work like adult income.

– As per clubbing provisions, a minor child’s income gets clubbed with parent’s income.

– If wife has no income, gains from minors' funds will be clubbed with your income.

– Even if your wife is the guardian, the income is still taxable in your hands.

– Hence, just naming the STPs in child’s PAN doesn’t remove your tax burden.

– Tax authorities look at source of funds, not just the name on the folio.

– The only exemption: if the income is from skill or talent of the minor. This doesn’t apply here.

– Therefore, this strategy won’t help you avoid STCG or slab-level tax.

? Should You Still Invest in Children’s Name?

– Yes, you can continue investing in their names for discipline and tracking.

– It will build a dedicated fund for each child’s education or marriage.

– But do not expect tax savings from it.

– You can also assign a separate folio in your own name for each child’s goal.

– That will simplify control and tax reporting for you.

– Ultimately, it’s about mental clarity, not legal tax separation.

? Arbitrage Funds as STP Source: Tax Perspective

– Arbitrage funds are equity-oriented.

– They buy and sell same stocks in different markets.

– These funds get equity tax treatment, not debt.

– So, gains after 1 year are long-term and taxed at 12.5% above Rs 1.25 lakh.

– Short-term gains (within 12 months) taxed at 20%.

– Since STPs happen monthly, each redemption is short-term in nature.

– So arbitrage STP will attract 20% STCG for the first 12 months.

– If the gain is small each month, actual tax may be minimal.

– Still, STCG is unavoidable if STP period is less than 1 year.

? Pros of Arbitrage Funds for STP

– Taxed like equity, which is lower than debt slab tax if held >1 year.

– More stable than equity, less volatile than hybrid funds.

– Gives slightly better post-tax return than savings account.

– Can act as a semi-liquid park for short-to-medium term.

– Ideal if STP is expected to last over 12 months.

– Arbitrage strategy is lower risk compared to other equity funds.

? Cons of Arbitrage Funds for STP

– Returns are not fixed. They vary between 4% to 6% generally.

– During low market volatility, even 3.5% returns happen.

– Not suitable for goals that need predictable capital.

– Returns may not beat inflation consistently.

– Redemption within 12 months means 20% tax on gains.

– Not completely tax-free as assumed by many.

? Is Arbitrage Better Than Liquid or Debt Funds for STP?

– It depends on STP period and tax bracket.

– In your case, high tax bracket makes debt fund less efficient.

– Arbitrage may offer better post-tax outcome for STPs over 12+ months.

– For STPs under 6 months, liquid funds give safety and predictability.

– Hybrid conservative funds offer balance but carry some volatility.

– There is no one-size-fits-all. Period, goal, and tax impact must be checked.

? STP vs Lump Sum: For Long-Term Goals

– STP is great when you have lump sum ready but want to reduce equity risk.

– It reduces timing risk of equity market entry.

– Useful when investing for child’s future, wedding, or college goals.

– But each STP leg still creates taxable transaction from source fund.

– If your holding period of source fund is long, tax gets lower.

– But if STP is short and frequent, tax gets reported every time.

? How to Manage STP Tax with Less Stress

– Choose source fund as equity-oriented hybrid fund, if tax is concern.

– Or use arbitrage fund if STP is for 12+ months.

– Make sure gains stay below Rs 1.25 lakh annually to avoid LTCG tax.

– Keep STP value per month moderate.

– Avoid creating multiple STPs from multiple source funds.

– File capital gain report from CAMS/KFintech every year for ITR.

– Maintain a spreadsheet to track monthly redemptions and capital gain.

– Plan STPs to align with ITR deadlines to reduce pressure.

? Use Regular Funds Through CFP-Associated MFD

– Direct plans don’t give handholding. Mistakes can be costly over years.

– Regular funds allow Certified Financial Planners to monitor and guide.

– Fund selection, asset allocation, and tax tracking becomes easier.

– You also avoid the stress of chasing returns or timing markets.

– Regular plans come with expert insights. They’re ideal for goal-based STPs.

– Especially helpful when you have minor children and long-term goals.

– Taxation, fund switch, and rebalancing needs a reliable guide.

– Choose someone with CFP credential to stay informed and aligned.

? Why Not Index Funds or ETFs for STP Target?

– Index funds do not adapt during market corrections.

– STP to index funds may not give downside protection.

– Index funds are passive and don’t manage volatility.

– Active funds with professional management adjust to changing economy.

– Active equity mutual funds suit child goals better than index funds.

– Especially when horizon is 5–10 years or more.

– ETFs also have liquidity and tracking error issues.

– Don’t use passive funds for planned goals unless supported by solid advisory.

? Better Alternatives for STP Source Fund

– Arbitrage funds: Suitable if 12+ months STP horizon is fixed.

– Ultra short duration funds: If you prefer safety over tax-efficiency.

– Conservative hybrid funds: Moderate growth, better taxation if equity heavy.

– Liquid funds: Good for 3–6 month STP where capital must stay intact.

– Choose fund based on child goal timeline, not only on tax.

? Strategic Suggestions for Your Children’s Plan

– Maintain separate SIP or STP for each child’s goal.

– Name folios clearly for tracking – “Daughter Edu 2032”, etc.

– Don’t combine funds. Keep child-wise goals separate.

– Avoid using these folios for any other personal expense.

– Review every 12 months and adjust STP amount as needed.

– Continue investing even if market fluctuates. Child’s future is priority.

– Don’t try to time the market using STP. Stick to system.

? Finally

– STP is a smart tool. But it doesn’t avoid tax.

– Investing in minor daughter’s name won’t reduce STCG burden.

– Arbitrage fund helps if you plan for 12+ months.

– Clubbing provision nullifies tax-saving intention in minor folios.

– Use STP mainly for risk reduction, not tax saving.

– Tax will happen, but can be managed smartly with proper fund choice.

– Maintain discipline, review yearly, and always align with your goal.

– With a Certified Financial Planner, your long-term strategy will stay efficient and stress-free.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9846 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi
Money
I'm 35, a single mom with two kids and a 32 L home loan, trying to balance EMIs, school fees and my own retirement savings. I earn 1.2 lakh per month and invest about 30% of my salary. Every CA I have met gives me conflicting advice on where and how to invest. Some say ELSS is better than PPF for long-term tax-saving; others push me toward NPS for retirement benefits. Honestly I'm exhausted comparing mutual funds, fixed deposits, and new-age fintech apps promising double-digit returns. Am I doing the right thing by maxing out my Section 80C with a mix of PPF and SIPs? Can you please tell me the best investment strategy that gives me tax benefits and future security, without all the daily stress?
Ans: You are already doing a great job managing a lot on your plate.

Balancing a Rs 32 Lakh home loan, raising two kids, and managing investments is not easy.

You are saving 30% of your income. That’s excellent and rare. Most don’t.

Let’s now give you a full, structured, stress-free and practical strategy that works for your current stage of life.

Here’s a detailed 360-degree investment and money management plan—focused on tax savings, growth, and peace of mind.

? Income, Expenses, and Budget Control

– Your monthly income is Rs 1.2 lakh. This is a strong base.

– Housing loan EMI and school fees are heavy, but manageable with discipline.

– Continue budgeting monthly expenses tightly. Every small saving adds up.

– Keep separate bank accounts for monthly expenses, EMIs, and savings.

– Keep 3 months of expenses as emergency money. Use a sweep-in FD or liquid fund.

– Avoid buying gadgets or luxury items on EMIs. Delay them if needed.

– Say no to lifestyle inflation. Kids grow, but so should your peace of mind.

? Home Loan: Don’t Rush to Prepay Yet

– Don’t rush to prepay your home loan unless interest is above 9.5%.

– Continue regular EMIs and claim full tax benefits under Section 80C and 24(b).

– Use extra money for investments instead of prepaying the loan right now.

– If your loan rate is too high, consider negotiating with the lender or refinancing.

– Use any salary hike to either increase SIP or part prepay only after creating emergency corpus.

? Tax-Saving: Mixing PPF and SIPs is a Wise Move

– PPF gives safety, tax benefits, and long-term compounding.

– It creates a low-risk, retirement-friendly portion of your wealth.

– Equity mutual fund SIPs offer higher long-term growth and liquidity.

– Mixing them under Section 80C is a sound idea. You’re doing this right.

– Avoid locking all 80C money in only one option like insurance or only PPF.

– SIPs in tax-saving mutual funds (called ELSS) give flexibility and liquidity.

– ELSS also has the shortest lock-in under 80C (only 3 years).

– Don’t fall for insurance plans sold for 80C. They are not wealth creators.

– No single 80C product can do everything. Diversification is key.

? Equity Mutual Funds: Better Than Other Instruments for Growth

– SIPs in equity mutual funds offer long-term wealth creation.

– Keep SIP amount at least 15% of your monthly income if possible.

– ELSS is useful if it fits under 80C limit. For more growth, use diversified equity funds.

– Avoid schemes that promise double-digit fixed returns. Risk is very high.

– Don't stop SIPs if market falls. That’s the best time to keep investing.

– Review performance once a year. Don't check daily or weekly.

– Equity is volatile in short term. But long-term gives better inflation-beating growth.

? PPF: Simple and Safe for Long-Term Security

– Continue investing in PPF every year for safety and tax-free maturity.

– It brings balance to your portfolio by being a stable fixed income product.

– PPF also helps you build retirement corpus slowly and steadily.

– Don’t treat it like an expense. Treat it as a future security tool.

– Keep investing Rs 1.5 lakh per year if you can afford. It compounds tax-free.

? NPS: Only If You Can Lock-In for Long

– NPS offers extra tax benefit under Section 80CCD(1B).

– But it comes with lock-in till 60 years. Withdrawals are also limited.

– Choose NPS only if you don’t need that money for children’s goals.

– It is good if retirement is your top priority.

– But remember, 40% of the corpus must be used for pension.

– NPS is best suited when you can invest for 20+ years.

? Avoid Direct Mutual Funds, Use Regular Plans via Certified MFDs

– Direct funds look cheaper. But they lack guidance. Mistakes can cost more.

– A Certified Financial Planner using regular funds gives ongoing support.

– Regular plans come with slightly higher cost, but better portfolio discipline.

– They help you avoid emotional decisions, switching, and timing errors.

– Investing through a professional gives peace of mind.

– It’s like having a doctor for your financial health.

? Don’t Fall for Index Funds and Their Hype

– Index funds are passive. They don’t adjust to market changes.

– Actively managed funds can change stocks when markets shift.

– Active funds can outperform in volatile Indian markets.

– Index funds lack downside protection. Active funds do better when markets fall.

– You need flexibility, not just low cost.

– Your situation demands intelligent management, not robotic investing.

? Insurance: Don’t Mix with Investment

– Buy only term insurance. It’s pure life cover and very cheap.

– ULIPs or traditional endowment plans are not for investing.

– They offer low returns and high charges.

– If you hold such policies, surrender them (if over 3 or 5 years old).

– Use the surrender value to invest in equity mutual funds.

– For kids, don’t buy child plans. Use SIPs in mutual funds instead.

? Children's Education and Future Goals

– Open a separate SIP for each child’s education.

– Use long-term diversified equity funds for this goal.

– Increase SIP yearly as income grows.

– You need at least 10–12 years to build a good corpus.

– Don’t depend on education loans in future. Start investing now.

– Keep each child’s goal in a separate mutual fund folio for clarity.

– Don’t touch this money for any other reason.

? Retirement Planning is a Must, Even Now

– You are 35 now. Retirement could be 55 or 60.

– You have about 20+ years. That’s good time to build wealth.

– Don’t delay retirement planning just because kids are priority.

– Create a separate SIP only for retirement.

– Mix equity mutual funds with PPF and maybe NPS (if you’re sure).

– The earlier you start, the less you’ll have to save later.

– Goal-based investment works better than scattered savings.

– Don’t rely only on EPF or home value for retirement.

? Fintech Apps Promising High Returns: Stay Away

– Apps that promise 14–18% returns regularly are risky.

– Most of these are unregulated or lightly monitored.

– Stick to SEBI-regulated mutual funds and RBI-backed savings.

– Your money is not for experiments. Keep it safe and growing.

– Don’t chase trends or tips from YouTube or WhatsApp.

– Simpler, long-term investing works better than fancy platforms.

– Don’t combine banking, insurance, and investing in one app.

? Managing Stress and Simplicity in Portfolio

– Too many options cause stress. Keep your portfolio simple.

– 3 to 4 mutual funds are enough.

– Don’t check NAVs daily. Once in a year is enough.

– Choose monthly SIP auto-debit. Forget it till review time.

– A mix of ELSS, diversified equity, and hybrid funds work best.

– Add PPF and term insurance. That’s your complete package.

– Keep 1 liquid fund or sweep FD for emergencies.

– Don’t keep more than 20% in bank FDs beyond 1 year.

? Yearly Review and Discipline

– Set one date every year to review investments.

– Take help from a Certified Financial Planner for rebalancing.

– Avoid emotional decisions during market highs or crashes.

– Stick to your plan. Patience pays in 5 to 10 years.

– Reassess insurance and goals every 2–3 years.

– Don’t change funds too often. Let compounding do the work.

? Your Situation Deserves Hope and Confidence

– You’re doing better than most. You’re saving, investing and planning.

– Your current approach—80C mix of PPF and SIP—is sound and efficient.

– You don’t need to chase every new scheme. Stay focused.

– Every rupee saved now gives you freedom later.

– Don’t compare with others. Your life, goals, and kids are unique.

– Be consistent, not perfect. Financial freedom is a journey.

? Finally

– You already have discipline and clarity.

– Add professional support, remove complexity, and follow a focused plan.

– Avoid hype, avoid stress.

– Let your investments work silently in the background.

– Build wealth with peace, not pressure.

– Your kids and future self will thank you.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x