20 Years Later, Can I Forgive Myself for Not Recognizing My Narcissist Friend?

Ans: Hi Abhay,

Here are some signs you may look at-

If you are facing any communication challenges and you struggle putting across your thoughts will complete clarity due to which conflicts/ misunderstanding / arguments might have occurred

If you often feel low on confidence in various situations, addressing self esteem and self confidence through personality development can make a positive impact.

If you find yourself struggling to maintain a strong and positive relationship then enhancing interpersonal relationships, empathy and emotional intelligence can improve your ability to connect with others.

You find yourself in various situations like - lacking in been assertiveness, inability to handle stress, you often procrastinate, struggle in managing time, negative attitude, difficulty in accepting feedback, lack of goal clarity.

Please know that personality development will be an ongoing process. Importantly self awareness is the key.

All the best


Thanks
Ashwini Dasgupta
Author of Confidence Decoded. Is it a skill or Attitude?

Ans: For them, it’s about maintaining a sense of control, even if it means doing so through intimidation or manipulation. Abusive individuals with narcissistic traits are driven by an intense need for dominance, often unable to let go of those they once controlled. To them, harassment is a way of asserting that dominance, especially if they sense their target has gained any form of freedom or independence.

These behaviors stem from a place of deep insecurity masked by aggression, control, and a lack of empathy for the emotional and physical well-being of others. In their minds, harassment or abuse keeps the connection alive, no matter how destructive. Narcissistic individuals might not necessarily get tired of inflicting harm because, in a twisted way, it fulfills their need to feel powerful and in control. This behavior often extends over years for some abusers who refuse to let go.

Your resilience is remarkable, and choosing to move away and keep your details private was a courageous and necessary step for reclaiming your life. If you continue to receive these harassing messages, one option is to consider a digital harassment tracking tool, which could at least help you identify patterns or, if needed later, evidence if you ever decide to take a legal step. Some victims of abuse find that a written log of such instances can help them feel in control and serve as a reminder of their strength in managing each encounter without being drawn back in.

Building a support system slowly with people you trust or finding support groups for abuse survivors can provide comfort and encouragement, as isolation can be an unfortunate side effect of abuse. Re-engaging with supportive friends, therapy, or online communities for people recovering from narcissistic abuse could gently help you rediscover a world of safe and caring connections.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, for starters...when you have just started dating or seeing someone, there's no need to show them your vulnerabilities or what pushes your emotional buttons. This is where people who have an intention to manipulate or cheat work on and succeed.
Till you feel trust for the person, draw a boundary around yourself and start sharing intimate details only when you feel you can trust them.
Now, is it possible for for them to still manipulate? Oh yes! But you will have become smarter to not let it get to you. So, you can't avoid people by categorizing the nice ones from the not so nice ones, but you can certainly learn the art of managing people around you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Sir/ Madam,

Go well prepared for your interview
Know the Job description and company profile to the T
Dress well- Formals completely
Take care of your personal hygiene
Smell good
Listen to the interview before you speak. Do not interrupt
Smile and show case confidence
Just be yourself

All the best

Thanks
Ashwini