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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 28, 2024
Relationship

I am 45 male married with a cute 4 year old son.Arranged marriage and wife is a teacher.Recently in the absence of my wife and son her younger sister aged 30 and married was sleeping in my bedroom wearing my wife's clothes.After returning from office i mistook her in the dark bedroom to be my wife and lip kissed her.She didn't resist which tempted me for intercourse.Now she is saying I ruined her life.I have lost sleep fearing legal action and what if she tells everyone in the family.Please help.

Ans: This is a complex and delicate situation, and the first step is to take responsibility for what happened. It seems that what started as a misunderstanding led to a situation that has spiraled out of control, and now both of you are facing the emotional and moral consequences.

Your sister-in-law's reaction, feeling that her life has been ruined, indicates deep distress, and it’s important to approach this with empathy. Apologize sincerely to her, acknowledging the mistake and the harm caused. Let her express her feelings, and be prepared to listen without defending yourself. You should make it clear that you are willing to do whatever it takes to correct the situation, even if that means keeping the matter private and ensuring that it never happens again.

As for the fear of legal action, it's understandable that you're anxious, but it’s essential to remain calm. It may help to have an open and respectful conversation with your sister-in-law to understand what she wants moving forward. If she feels betrayed or wronged, consider suggesting mediation or counseling, where a neutral third party can help resolve the situation.

Whatever happens next, it’s crucial to maintain honesty and integrity in your marriage. This experience may bring up feelings of guilt and anxiety, but how you handle it from here will shape the future. Seek legal advice if you're genuinely concerned about legal consequences, but focus on rebuilding trust and ensuring such a situation never happens again.

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Anu Krishna  |1410 Answers  |Ask -

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Hello madam, I am 41 year old , married , my wife also same age have a daughter 4 year old. I lost my parent in the earlier age that i did not remember (when i was around 5 to 6 year old ) .After that i am grown up by my distance relative(which is now my in-law family).In my in law family only my mother in law and 2 daughter (One my wife and other my sister in law (un married , 35 year now ). So now i am staying in in law home only as i do not have any body apart from them. They are very loyal to me and take care very much as i told i am staying from childhood. I married around 10 year back and my wife first delivery is so complex one. Our doctor advice not to be proceed with any more pregnancy , it may harm her life. now mom-in-law, wife both telling me that get married to sister-in-law (just informally) I mean they want a baby by me and sister-in-law . because she is 35 year old now for make a family. sister-in-law she also agreed .frankly speaking i have physical relationship with my sister in law and the my wife knew that and she does not have any problem(she is not active in physical relation as her body is not supporting ). So need your advice in this case.
Ans: Dear Kumar,
What are you all a part of' a circus? So, if your wife might not be able to have a baby again, you are asked to marry your sister-in-law and have a baby with her? And oh, you have a physical relationship with her as well? What exactly is going on?

Marrying another person when your first marriage is still very much alive is not recognized by the Hindu Marriage Act. Informally marrying? What is this, some kind of a movie that you are all trying to enact? So, just because your wife is not physically active, you are trying to justify as to why you need to sleep with another woman just because your in-laws want it?

Please grow up all of you...move out of your in-laws house and make your own home and your family so that this intermingling does not disturb your marriage and especially your child. You DO NOT (if you are) need to feel obligated towards your in-laws because they raised you. This is not the way you need to repay them...Get a hold of your life!

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1410 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 50 years old lady. I have youger sister about 40+ age. she is very negative thinker from younger age. I dont have mother and father. i have younger brother. my younger sister was in depression at time lock down then after treatment she become nornal therefore we decided to do marriage as she is along and nobody is there to take care of her as I am also having family. I and my family did marriage of her without inform her depression condition to groom. now her husband telling we are cheated to him. toubling us what to do...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Is your sister in a depressive phase yet again that her husband feels like he has been cheated? If she had fever after marriage, would he still have felt cheated by the fact that you didn't tell him about any fever before marriage?
Mental health issues are still not freely accepted in our part of the world as yet...given this, I am not surprised at the way your sister's husband and his family are behaving this way. The only way is to pacify them about it by giving them the facts as they are now.
Appeal to their wise side that it is possible to manage depressive phases and that the support of family is of utmost importance. Now winning this argument will depend on how forward thinking they are and whether they will be able to brush of the social stigma of depression. It's a nasty game but one that you all are already in...give it your best shot and talk about it openly at least now for your sister's sake. Hiding this has caused an unnecessary drama, so being frank is your only best option now...

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7362 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir, I am 40 years old banker. Earlier my wife was also working. My monthly salary is 1.50 lacs. I am planning to retire at 45 yrs age. I have twin children of 2 years age. All the below are savings of mine and my wife. We have property of 3 cr. Shares of 15Lacs, Mutual Funds of 23 Lacs. Fixed deposit 10 Lacs. NPS Amount 27 Lacs at present. Monthly contribution to NPS is 25000 ( employer + employer). Pension from NPS will start at 60 age. We have rental income of 60000 which will also increase with time. I will also get some heritage property of 2-3 cr. My monthly SIP is 40000. My current liabilities are a home loan of 37 Lacs. My monthly exp are 70000. I have not included here the expense of children education which I believe must not be more than 40000 yearly. Please advise how should I plan my retirement.
Ans: You have built a strong financial base. Your steady income, savings, and assets reflect disciplined financial planning. Let us analyse your situation and provide a comprehensive retirement plan.

Income Sources and Assets
Salary and Rental Income
Your monthly salary is Rs 1.5 lakhs.
Rental income of Rs 60,000 adds to your cash flow.
Rental income will likely increase over time.
Existing Investments
Shares worth Rs 15 lakhs provide growth potential.
Mutual funds of Rs 23 lakhs offer a diversified growth avenue.
Fixed deposits of Rs 10 lakhs provide stability and liquidity.
NPS corpus of Rs 27 lakhs ensures long-term pension security.
Property
Your property portfolio is valued at Rs 3 crores.
Additional heritage property of Rs 2–3 crores will add future value.
Liabilities
Outstanding home loan of Rs 37 lakhs is manageable.
EMI payments are part of your monthly expenses.
Analysing Your Retirement Plan
Target Retirement Age
You aim to retire at 45, giving five more working years.
Pension income from NPS starts at age 60.
You need to bridge the 15-year gap between retirement and NPS payouts.
Current Expenses
Monthly expenses are Rs 70,000, excluding children’s education.
Annual education expenses of Rs 40,000 are expected to rise gradually.
Retirement Corpus Requirement
Considering inflation, your post-retirement expenses will increase.
You need a large retirement corpus to sustain expenses for over 40 years.
Recommendations for a 360-Degree Plan
Maintain Emergency Liquidity
Keep Rs 10–12 lakhs in liquid funds for emergencies.
Ensure this fund covers at least 12 months of expenses.
Focus on Wealth Creation
Continue SIP investments of Rs 40,000 monthly.
Increase SIP contributions annually with salary increments.
Invest in actively managed mutual funds for better returns than index funds.
Maximise NPS Contributions
Continue your Rs 25,000 monthly NPS contributions.
This ensures a growing retirement corpus with employer contributions.
Partial Loan Prepayments
Use surplus funds to reduce the principal of your home loan.
This will lower the interest burden and free up cash flow.
Retirement Corpus Strategy
Pre-Retirement Investments
Allocate new investments to high-growth instruments like equity mutual funds.
Avoid locking funds in fixed-income instruments at this stage.
Diversify across funds with strong track records and managed by qualified professionals.
Post-Retirement Cash Flow
Use rental income of Rs 60,000 to cover a portion of your expenses.
Withdraw from mutual fund investments systematically to bridge gaps.
Ensure a balance between withdrawals and corpus growth.
Heritage Property Utilisation
Consider income generation from heritage property, such as rent.
Avoid selling the property unless absolutely necessary.
Children’s Education Planning
Start a dedicated SIP for children’s higher education.
Invest in child-specific plans with a high equity allocation for growth.
Review the education fund annually to ensure alignment with goals.
Tax Efficiency
Optimising Investments
Choose mutual funds offering tax benefits under Section 80C.
Long-term capital gains on mutual funds are taxed at 12.5% above Rs 1.25 lakhs.
Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%.
NPS Tax Benefits
Claim deductions for NPS contributions under Section 80CCD(1) and 80CCD(2).
Avoid Common Pitfalls
Avoid Large Real Estate Investments
Real estate is illiquid and requires high capital.
Focus on financial instruments for better flexibility and returns.
Avoid Direct Equity Risks
Invest in equity through professionally managed funds.
This ensures better risk management and consistent growth.
Do Not Ignore Inflation
Plan for higher living costs post-retirement due to inflation.
Regularly review and adjust your investments to combat inflation.
Final Insights
Retiring at 45 is achievable with disciplined planning. Focus on creating a robust retirement corpus and managing cash flow efficiently. Ensure a balance between growth-oriented investments and stable income sources. Review your financial plan annually to align with changing needs and market conditions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7362 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi sir, I am 31 years old, my monthly salary is 70 thousand. I have a existing home loan around 1986000 with ROI 9.25% for 29years. and till now through SIP I have invested 5 Lac and I keep liquid fund 2.5 Lac. My current balance including all SIP and liquid fund 9 Lac. I need a advise from you that I should repay my home with this 9 Lac or I should continue investing as SIP and continue EMI and repay homeloan as 1 or 2 EMI Extra in a year.
Ans: At 31, you have a strong financial foundation. Your disciplined SIP investments, liquid funds, and home loan management are appreciable. Let’s assess your options to help you make the best decision.

Analysing Your Current Financial Situation
Existing Home Loan
Your outstanding home loan of Rs 19.86 lakhs has a tenure of 29 years.
The interest rate is 9.25%, which impacts your long-term cash flow.
The EMI will consume a consistent portion of your salary over the years.
SIP Investments
You have already invested Rs 5 lakhs through SIPs.
Regular investments in SIPs help in wealth accumulation and compounding returns.
Your monthly SIPs are likely aligned with your financial goals.
Liquid Funds
You hold Rs 2.5 lakhs in liquid funds.
This provides a buffer for emergencies or short-term needs.
Options to Consider
Option 1: Use Rs 9 Lakhs to Prepay the Loan
Prepaying the loan can reduce the principal significantly.
This reduces the overall interest burden and loan tenure.
However, this locks your funds into a low-return liability.
Option 2: Continue SIPs and Pay Extra EMIs Annually
Continue your SIP investments for higher long-term returns.
Paying 1–2 extra EMIs yearly can reduce the tenure significantly.
This approach balances wealth creation and liability management.
Option 3: Split Funds Between Prepayment and Investments
Use a portion of Rs 9 lakhs for partial prepayment.
Invest the remaining amount in SIPs or other high-return instruments.
This ensures debt reduction and continued wealth growth.
Evaluating Return on Investment
Home Loan Interest vs SIP Returns
Your home loan interest rate of 9.25% is a guaranteed expense.
Equity SIPs typically yield higher returns, averaging 12–15% annually.
Investing in SIPs could create wealth faster than prepaying the loan.
Tax Benefits on Home Loan
You may claim tax deductions on home loan interest and principal.
Prepaying reduces the tax-saving benefits.
Recommended Approach
Maintain Emergency Liquidity
Retain Rs 2.5 lakhs or more in liquid funds.
This ensures financial stability during unforeseen situations.
Focus on SIP Investments
Continue SIPs to benefit from long-term compounding.
Increase your SIP contributions gradually with salary increments.
Make Partial Prepayments
Use a portion of Rs 9 lakhs for partial prepayment.
Aim to reduce the principal significantly to lower interest outflows.
Pay Extra EMIs
Commit to paying at least 2 extra EMIs annually.
This reduces your loan tenure and interest burden effectively.
Avoid Common Pitfalls
Do Not Over-Allocate to Loan Prepayment
Avoid locking all your funds into loan repayment.
This limits your liquidity and investment potential.
Avoid Real Estate Investments
Real estate involves high costs, illiquidity, and uncertain returns.
Stick to diversified mutual funds or equity investments instead.
Maintain Disciplined Financial Planning
Ensure a balanced approach between debt reduction and wealth creation.
Review your financial goals annually for necessary adjustments.
Final Insights
Your financial journey is off to a great start. Continue with SIP investments to maximise long-term growth. Use surplus funds for partial loan prepayments and extra EMIs to manage your debt efficiently. Balancing both strategies will ensure a secure financial future and help you achieve your goals effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7362 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2024
Money
51 years old , I am started 25000 rs investment in mutual fund from last year , presently two houses one loan of rs 40 lakhs and 1/2 kg gold and 35lakhs fd, and 1 open plot of worth 65Lakhs my daughter is studying B.E and son 9th is it effoungh for my retirement.Lic of rs 5000.rs.per month.
Ans: At 51, you are building a good foundation for retirement. Let us evaluate your current situation and provide actionable insights to strengthen your plan.

Current Financial Assets
Mutual Funds: A monthly SIP of Rs. 25,000 started last year is a strong beginning.

Real Estate: You own two houses and an open plot worth Rs. 65 lakhs.

Fixed Deposits (FDs): You have Rs. 35 lakhs in FDs for stability.

Gold: Possession of 1/2 kg of gold adds diversification to your portfolio.

Insurance: A LIC premium of Rs. 5,000 monthly ensures some financial protection.

Loan: You have a Rs. 40 lakh home loan that requires regular servicing.

Strengths in Your Portfolio
Asset Diversification: Your portfolio includes real estate, mutual funds, gold, and fixed deposits.

Children’s Education: You are well-placed to support their higher education expenses.

Steady Investments: The SIP ensures consistent contributions towards wealth creation.

Areas for Improvement
Mutual Fund Investments
Expand Your SIP Contributions: Rs. 25,000 monthly may need an increase to meet retirement goals.

Focus on Active Funds: Actively managed funds can deliver higher returns than index funds over time.

Disadvantages of Index Funds: Index funds lack adaptability during market fluctuations, limiting growth potential.

Use Regular Plans Through CFP: Regular funds ensure expert guidance, tax efficiency, and consistent monitoring.

Real Estate
Low Liquidity: Real estate may not offer quick access to cash during emergencies.

Maintenance Costs: Real estate requires ongoing expenses, reducing its overall profitability.

Fixed Deposits
Inflation Risk: FD returns are lower and may not match inflation rates.

Better Alternatives: Consider debt funds for higher post-tax returns.

LIC Premiums
Low Returns: Traditional insurance policies like LIC provide limited returns compared to mutual funds.

Recommendation: Surrender and reinvest the proceeds into mutual funds for better growth.

Children’s Education Planning
Daughter’s Higher Education: Prioritise building a specific education fund for her postgraduate expenses.

Son’s Future Needs: Start early to save for his higher education.

Balanced Allocation: Use equity for growth and debt for stability in these funds.

Loan Management
Accelerate Loan Repayment: Clear your Rs. 40 lakh home loan faster to reduce interest costs.

Avoid New Debt: Focus on reducing liabilities to achieve financial independence sooner.

Emergency Fund
Liquidity is Key: Ensure at least 6–12 months of expenses in a liquid emergency corpus.

Fund Sources: Your FDs or a portion of your SIP can be redirected for this.

Retirement Planning
Corpus Estimation
Inflation Adjustment: Factor in inflation to calculate the required retirement corpus.

Living Expenses: Estimate your monthly needs post-retirement, including healthcare and leisure.

Asset Rebalancing
Gradual Shift to Debt Funds: From 55 onwards, reduce equity exposure for stability.

Balanced Allocation: Aim for a 60% debt and 40% equity ratio by retirement.

Tax Efficiency
New MF Tax Rules: Plan redemptions considering the 12.5% LTCG tax above Rs. 1.25 lakh.

Debt Funds Taxation: Gains are taxed as per your income slab; plan accordingly.

Final Insights
Your current financial status is strong, but enhancements are necessary. Increase SIP contributions, diversify into actively managed funds, and focus on reducing liabilities. Revisit your LIC policy and redirect funds for higher returns. Secure your children's education and your retirement with a clear and balanced strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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