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Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 08, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I'm 31 married two years ago. I'm little afraid to have penetrative sex with my wife due to the fear of not doing properly or low confidence. How to manage it for the first time. Pls guide. Thanks in advance

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly consult an expert who can work with you on eliminating fears regarding this. Once the fears are gone, then there is no need for any guidance for the most natural act known to humans.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2025
Relationship
Hello, Anu I have been married to my wife for 2 Month now. Everything is ok going ok in our marriage. We are enjoying time together, eating out, travelling and also having good intemate time with each other. But we are able to have sex with each other, initial because of being uncomfortable to do intemate thinks together, but now mainly due to possibilities that me might have to face pain, my genetals remains dry through out that give in irritation, also I am not able to penetrate, as I kind of thinks that her veginal opning is small. I do tried fingering but see didn't liked it. Also trying to do so I am often loose confidence and also also loose arrosal and desire to go ahead. Please help use so that we can enjoy more of our sexual life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There's obviously an issue when it comes to sexual intimacy. But when you are very strictly focused on something not happening, it becomes stress and sexual intimacy in stress never happens.
If there is no medical issue, then it's purely about indulging in a lot of foreplay, a lot emotional bonding and most importantly learn to laugh a lot together. This releases a lot of strain and stress if any from both of you as a couple which in turn will help in intimacy.
If this still doesn't work, do get a medical opinion on any possible reasons that maybe preventing either of you from enjoying the process.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8600 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 25, 2025
Money
Hello Sir I am 46 years age working in central govt my current salary is 88k in hand with nps corpus of 30 lacs .i have wasted about 15 years of job period in which my only investment was lic of amount 8 lacs which will mature on 2027. I have married lately in my 40s and now i have 3 years old son.i have tried to become disciplined now and in these 2020 to till date purchased gold ornaments of Rs 25 lacs. Sir i have a question whether i should go for UPS or stay in NPS and i have no other investments. I live in my ancestral house with my family. Please suggest.
Ans: You’ve shown real commitment by becoming disciplined in recent years.
Let’s now create a 360-degree plan to secure your financial future.

Your Current Financial Profile
Age: 46 years

Employment: Central Government

Monthly in-hand salary: Rs. 88,000

NPS corpus: Rs. 30 lakhs

LIC investment: Rs. 8 lakhs (matures in 2027)

Gold bought from 2020 till now: Rs. 25 lakhs

Owns ancestral home; no housing rent or EMI burden

Married late; has 3-year-old son

No other investments currently

You have built a strong NPS corpus.
You also have gold and an LIC policy.
But your asset allocation is unbalanced.
It needs more diversification for stability and growth.

Understanding NPS and the New UPS Option
Government employees now have the choice to move from NPS to UPS.
This switch is optional and available for a limited time.

Let’s compare them carefully before any decision.

NPS – National Pension System
Pension is based on market performance

No assured income in retirement

Allows investment choice in equity and debt

Gives tax benefits under multiple sections

Offers flexibility but comes with market risk

NPS is good for growth but lacks guaranteed pension.
Returns depend on fund performance.
Pension amount at retirement is not fixed.
You will need to buy annuity at the end.
But annuity returns are generally low.
Also, annuity income is taxable.

UPS – Unified Pension Scheme (New Option)
Offers guaranteed pension after retirement

Pension amount is fixed at 50% of average last salary

Needs at least 25 years of service

Government will contribute more than under NPS

Gives peace of mind with predictable income

UPS gives financial stability in retirement.
It is not linked to market returns.
But you lose the flexibility and market growth of NPS.
You also don’t have control over your retirement corpus.
It may fall short of inflation-adjusted needs.

Which is Better for You?
You are 46 now.
So, you may have already completed more than 20 years of service.
If your qualifying service is 25 years, you can choose UPS.

Choose UPS if:

You want assured income in retirement

You are uncomfortable with market risks

You don’t want to manage investments post-retirement

Stay with NPS if:

You want growth potential with flexibility

You are okay with variable pension income

You are willing to plan annuity and withdrawals

Since you are already in NPS with Rs. 30 lakh corpus,
you should weigh the impact of switching carefully.
You can’t reverse it once opted.
Compare estimated pension under UPS
with possible pension from NPS corpus.

About the LIC Policy
You mentioned LIC worth Rs. 8 lakhs maturing in 2027.
You didn’t specify if it is term or endowment.

If it is an endowment plan, returns will be very low.

Consider surrendering the policy post-maturity.
Reinvest the maturity amount into mutual funds
through a Certified Financial Planner and MFD.

Avoid mixing insurance and investment.

Over-Exposure to Gold: A Concern
You’ve accumulated Rs. 25 lakhs worth of gold.

That’s a very high allocation to a single asset.

Gold does not give regular income.
It doesn’t beat inflation in the long term.
Also, jewellery has making charges and low resale value.
Liquidity is also limited compared to financial assets.

You may retain some portion as family reserve.
But avoid fresh investment in gold.
Avoid considering gold as your core long-term asset.

Create an Emergency Fund
You have a dependent child and only one income.
Maintain an emergency fund of 6 months’ expenses.

Keep it in a liquid fund or savings account.
This will help during medical or job emergencies.

Plan for Child’s Education
Your son is only 3 years old.
You have 15 years before his higher education.

Start a SIP now for his future.
Use a diversified mutual fund with long-term potential.

As he grows, reduce equity exposure gradually.

Create a dedicated portfolio only for education.
Don’t mix it with other goals.

Start SIP in Mutual Funds for Growth
Mutual funds offer good diversification and professional management.
Avoid direct funds, especially if you lack expertise.

Regular funds with support of CFP and MFD
offer hand-holding, periodic review, and behavioural support.

Direct funds lack personal guidance.
You may end up choosing unsuitable schemes.

Investing through an MFD with CFP credential
brings strategy, discipline, and peace of mind.

Avoid index funds.
They just follow the market blindly.
They don’t protect during market fall.

Actively managed mutual funds are better.
They aim for alpha returns and are guided by research.

Retirement Planning Must Start Now
You have only around 14 years left before retirement.

Depending only on UPS/NPS will not be enough.

You need an additional retirement corpus
to handle inflation and rising medical costs.

Start a separate SIP only for retirement.

This will help supplement your pension.

If you retire at 60 and live till 85,
your retirement will last 25 years.

Plan well in advance to avoid dependence later.

Do a Monthly Budgeting Exercise
Your current in-hand salary is Rs. 88,000.
You can still start small SIPs with Rs. 5,000 to Rs. 10,000.

Track expenses.
Avoid unnecessary purchases.
Gold buying can be stopped.

Assign money towards education, retirement, and emergency fund.

Check for Existing Insurance
Check if you have life cover.
If not, take a pure term insurance plan.

This will secure your son’s future.
Also take family health insurance.

Medical bills can wipe out savings.

Do Not Depend on Physical Assets Only
Gold is not income-producing.
House is for living, not for income.

You need financial assets for retirement cash flows.

Create a financial asset base now
through mutual funds and NPS.

Final Insights
You have taken a step in the right direction.
Your gold assets and NPS corpus give a base.

But you need to balance and grow wisely.
Don’t depend only on government pension.
Start SIPs for retirement and child’s future.

Don’t lock money in low-return products.
Seek professional support for fund selection and goal tracking.

Make every rupee count from now on.
That’s how you can create financial freedom in retirement.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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