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Financial Planner - Answered on Feb 24, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024Hindi
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What are balanced advantage funds and would you recommend how I should go about investing in such funds?

Ans: Balanced Advantage Funds are a type of mutual fund that dynamically manages the allocation between equity and debt instruments based on market conditions. These funds aim to provide investors with a balance between growth (through equity exposure) and stability (through debt exposure). The allocation between equity and debt is adjusted by fund managers based on various factors such as market valuations, interest rates, and economic indicators.

Here's a breakdown of the key features and considerations for investing in Balanced Advantage Funds:

1. Dynamic Asset Allocation: These funds have the flexibility to shift allocation between equity and debt depending on market conditions. When equity markets are expensive or overvalued, the fund manager may reduce equity exposure and increase allocation to debt instruments, and vice versa.

2. Risk Management: Balanced Advantage Funds tend to offer lower volatility compared to pure equity funds due to their ability to switch between asset classes based on market conditions. This can potentially reduce downside risk during market downturns.

3. Goal-based Investing: They can be suitable for investors with medium to long-term investment horizons who seek a balance between capital appreciation and capital preservation. These funds are often used for goals like retirement planning or wealth creation with a moderate risk profile.

4. Professional Management: Investors benefit from the expertise of professional fund managers who actively manage the asset allocation and investment decisions based on thorough research and analysis.

5. Tax Implications: From a taxation perspective, gains from equity investments held for more than one year are taxed at a lower rate (long-term capital gains tax), whereas gains from debt investments held for more than three years are taxed as per the investor's income tax slab. Balanced Advantage Funds may offer tax efficiency due to their equity exposure.

6. Expense Ratio: Investors should consider the expense ratio of the fund, which represents the annual fees charged by the fund house for managing the fund. Lower expense ratios can enhance returns over the long term.

As for whether you should invest in Balanced Advantage Funds, it depends on your investment objectives, risk tolerance, and financial goals.

If you're seeking a balanced approach with the potential for higher returns than pure debt funds but with lower volatility compared to pure equity funds, then these funds could be suitable for you. However, it's essential to consult with a financial advisor who can assess your individual circumstances and recommend the most appropriate investment strategy.

If you decide to invest in Balanced Advantage Funds, you can do so through various platforms such as mutual fund distributors, online investment platforms, or directly through the fund house's website. Here's a general guide on how to invest:

1. Research: Understand the different Balanced Advantage Funds available in the market, their investment objectives, performance track record, and expense ratios.

2. Select a Fund: Choose a fund that aligns with your investment goals, risk tolerance, and time horizon.

3. KYC Compliance: Complete the Know Your Customer (KYC) process as required by regulatory guidelines. This typically involves providing identity and address proof documents.

4. Investment Process: Decide on the mode of investment, whether lump sum or systematic investment plan (SIP), based on your convenience and investment strategy.

5. Online Platform or Distributor: If investing through an online platform, create an account and follow the instructions to invest in your chosen Balanced Advantage Fund. If using a mutual fund distributor, approach them with your investment decision, and they will assist you with the investment process.

6. Monitor and Review: Keep track of your investments periodically and review your portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals.

Remember that all investments carry some level of risk, including the potential loss of capital. Diversification and a long-term investment approach are generally recommended to mitigate risk and achieve your financial objectives.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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Which is better, multi asset allocation fund or balanced advantage fund?
Ans: Choosing between a multi-asset allocation fund and a balanced advantage fund depends on your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment preferences. Here's a comparison to help you make an informed decision:

Multi-Asset Allocation Fund:

• Multi-asset allocation funds invest in a diversified portfolio comprising equities, debt, and other asset classes like gold and international securities.
• These funds offer broader diversification across multiple asset classes, which can help mitigate risks associated with a single asset class.
• The asset allocation in multi-asset funds is actively managed by fund managers based on market conditions, economic outlook, and valuation metrics.
• Multi-asset allocation funds are suitable for investors seeking a balanced approach to investing with exposure to different asset classes.

Balanced Advantage Fund:

• Balanced advantage funds dynamically allocate between equity and debt based on market valuations and internal models.
• These funds aim to offer a blend of equity growth potential and downside protection through active asset allocation.
• Balanced advantage funds often have the flexibility to adjust equity exposure based on market volatility and valuation metrics, aiming to capitalize on market opportunities.
• These funds are suitable for investors looking for a more dynamic approach to asset allocation and seeking to participate in equity markets with some downside protection.

Choosing between the two depends on factors such as your risk appetite, investment horizon, and financial goals. Here are some considerations:

• If you prefer a more diversified approach across asset classes and are comfortable with a relatively stable asset allocation, a multi-asset allocation fund may be suitable.
• On the other hand, if you seek a flexible approach with the potential for higher equity participation during market upswings and downside protection during market downturns, a balanced advantage fund could be more appropriate.
• It's essential to assess the fund's investment strategy, track record, and expense ratio before making a decision.
• Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner or investment advisor to evaluate your individual circumstances and determine which option aligns best with your financial objectives.

Ultimately, both types of funds can play a role in a well-diversified investment portfolio, and the choice depends on your unique financial situation and preferences.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, My parents are retired and have about 10 lacs as lumpsum and get about 50k as recurring monthly sum, both of which they want to invest so as to get stable risk free returns. I want to suggest Balanced advantage funds to them but because I am no expert, wanted to take your guidance on whether this is sufficient or if there are other financial instruments that they can consider.
Ans: Balanced Advantage Funds (BAFs) have become popular for providing a balanced mix of equity and debt, offering moderate returns while managing risk. For retired investors like your parents, BAFs can be beneficial, especially when seeking regular income and limited volatility. Here’s why they can be suitable:

Dynamic Asset Allocation: BAFs automatically adjust between equity and debt, aiming for stability when markets are volatile. This flexibility helps control risk without needing constant monitoring.

Tax Efficiency: With a significant portion in equity, BAFs offer long-term tax advantages. Gains beyond Rs 1.25 lakh in a financial year are taxed at 12.5%, making them more tax-efficient compared to other debt instruments.

Moderate Risk Profile: BAFs cater to conservative investors seeking a middle ground between risk and reward. However, equity exposure may still cause fluctuations in short-term value.

Debt Mutual Funds for Stable, Low-Risk Returns
For low-risk needs, debt mutual funds might be a strong alternative. Debt funds invest primarily in fixed-income securities, which offer predictable returns with minimal market exposure.

Consistent Returns: Debt funds provide stable returns over time. This makes them ideal for monthly income and reducing equity exposure.

Tax Benefits on Long-Term Gains: Debt mutual funds follow the individual’s tax slab, but gains from long-term holding offer indexation benefits, making them more tax-friendly.

Liquidity Options: Debt funds offer high liquidity, allowing partial withdrawals if necessary, a valuable feature for elderly investors needing flexibility.

Fixed Deposits for Safety and Predictable Income
Fixed deposits (FDs) remain the traditional choice for stable and guaranteed income. Many banks and institutions offer attractive rates for senior citizens, adding to the appeal.

No-Risk Investment: FDs carry minimal risk and are guaranteed up to Rs 5 lakh by DICGC, making them ideal for risk-averse retirees.

Guaranteed Returns: FDs ensure returns at fixed intervals, enabling predictable monthly income. This can supplement their recurring sum effectively.

Senior Citizen Schemes: Some FDs and schemes, specifically for seniors, provide higher returns, making them a worthy option for stable income.

Senior Citizens’ Savings Scheme (SCSS) for Safe, Regular Income
The Senior Citizens’ Savings Scheme (SCSS) is designed exclusively for those above 60 years of age, offering a reliable income stream. SCSS has a five-year tenure, extendable by another three years, and is backed by the Government of India.

Guaranteed Returns: SCSS provides one of the highest interest rates among government-backed instruments, making it ideal for assured income.

Quarterly Payouts: Interest is paid quarterly, creating a steady income stream without locking up funds entirely.

Tax Benefits: SCSS investments qualify for tax deductions under Section 80C, making it a tax-efficient choice for your parents.

Monthly Income Plans (MIPs) of Mutual Funds for Regular Income
Monthly Income Plans (MIPs) are mutual funds with a mix of debt and equity, often slightly tilted towards debt. MIPs do not guarantee monthly payouts, but many offer relatively consistent income.

Moderate Risk with Equity Upside: MIPs provide steady returns with potential for growth through minimal equity exposure.

Flexible Withdrawal Options: MIPs allow systematic withdrawal plans (SWPs), which enable monthly income without disturbing the invested capital.

Tax Efficiency on Withdrawals: Gains from MIPs are subject to capital gains tax, which can be lower than regular income tax, especially when equity exposure is high.

Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS) for Assured Income
The Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS) is another low-risk option, offering fixed monthly payouts. It’s popular among retirees seeking secure income without market dependency.

Zero-Risk with Government Backing: POMIS is fully backed by the Indian government, ensuring complete safety of capital.

Fixed Monthly Returns: Interest is paid monthly, making it ideal for a steady income source. There’s no risk of market fluctuation affecting income.

Long-Term Option with Partial Liquidity: POMIS has a five-year tenure, but early withdrawal is allowed with a nominal penalty, providing flexibility if funds are needed.

Public Provident Fund (PPF) for Tax-Free, Long-Term Growth
Though PPF has a 15-year lock-in, it is a strong option for retirees looking to grow a portion of their funds tax-free over time. They can invest any unused portion of their lump sum for this purpose.

Risk-Free, Government-Backed: PPF offers guaranteed returns backed by the government, suitable for conservative investors.

Tax-Free Returns: Both contributions and returns are tax-free, creating a long-term tax-efficient growth option.

Partial Withdrawal Allowed: PPF allows partial withdrawals from the seventh year, providing some flexibility.

Leveraging Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs) for Monthly Income
Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs) can be a way to structure monthly cash flow without fully depleting capital. Retirees often prefer SWPs to manage income efficiently.

Tailored Cash Flow: SWPs allow monthly, quarterly, or annual income, letting investors choose a plan that suits their needs.

Tax Efficiency on Gains: SWPs benefit from capital gains tax, which could be more tax-efficient than traditional income tax.

Protection Against Inflation: SWPs in equity-oriented funds can offer inflation protection, balancing between income and capital growth.

Evaluating Balanced Advantage Funds versus Debt Funds
Balanced Advantage Funds (BAFs) might suit your parents’ needs, but they should consider potential market exposure. Debt funds, especially conservative debt options, would offer more predictable returns.

BAFs Offer Growth Potential: While balanced funds have growth potential, debt funds are better for predictable monthly income.

Debt Funds for Minimal Volatility: If stability is paramount, conservative debt funds would fit better than BAFs.

Tax Planning on Withdrawals: Consider each option’s tax impact to avoid high taxes on gains, especially for income-oriented funds.

Steps to Build a Low-Risk, Income-Focused Portfolio
A diversified income-focused portfolio is beneficial for long-term stability. Here are some steps to consider:

Allocate Across Options: Split funds between SCSS, MIPs, FDs, and debt funds. This provides a balance of stability, flexibility, and growth.

Consider Systematic Withdrawals: For mutual funds, set up SWPs for monthly income instead of lump-sum withdrawals.

Rebalance Periodically: Reviewing and adjusting asset allocation every year keeps the portfolio in line with changing income needs.

Tax Management: Pay attention to tax-efficiency in fund selection, focusing on options that reduce tax burden on gains.

Final Insights
Balanced Advantage Funds could be beneficial, but they come with some market exposure. Diversifying across BAFs, debt funds, SCSS, and FDs can provide your parents with the balance of steady income and safety they seek. Each option provides stability, liquidity, and tax benefits in different ways. Structuring investments across these options will create a low-risk portfolio that meets their income needs and offers peace of mind.

Your efforts in exploring these options show genuine care. By building a diversified, income-oriented portfolio, you’re securing their financial peace in retirement.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1482 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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I am Lisha a kg teacher. I have debt of 40 lakhs. I have net income 25000. How can I manage to recover from debt? Please reply
Ans: Understanding the Debt Situation

You have a total debt of Rs. 40 lakhs.

Your net income is Rs. 25,000 per month.

Managing this situation requires planning, discipline, and action.

The key focus should be reducing high-interest loans first.

Increasing income is also necessary to speed up debt repayment.

Prioritising Debt Repayment

List all loans with their interest rates and EMI amounts.

Identify which loans have the highest interest rates.

Prioritise paying off the costliest loan first.

If you have multiple high-interest loans, consider debt consolidation.

Avoid taking new loans or using credit cards for daily expenses.

Reducing Monthly Interest Burden

Rs. 40 lakh debt with Rs. 25,000 income is a serious imbalance.

Your monthly interest burden alone can be unmanageable.

Speak with lenders and request lower interest rates.

Negotiate for an extended loan tenure to reduce EMI.

Avoid late payments to prevent penalties and additional charges.

Earning More Income

With Rs. 25,000 monthly income, repaying Rs. 40 lakh is tough.

Look for additional income sources, even part-time jobs.

Explore online tutoring, weekend coaching, or freelance work.

If possible, upskill to apply for a higher-paying job.

Can you take extra classes at school for additional earnings?

Find small home-based businesses like craft-making or baking.

Use any skills you have to create an extra income stream.

Cutting Down Expenses

Reduce unnecessary expenses wherever possible.

Limit non-essential spending like dining out, entertainment, and subscriptions.

Look for cheaper alternatives for daily expenses.

Create a strict monthly budget and track every expense.

Save on electricity, fuel, and shopping wherever possible.

Avoid personal luxuries until your financial situation improves.

Seeking Family Support

If possible, take help from family members.

Can they provide an interest-free loan for partial debt payment?

Even a small contribution can reduce your debt burden.

Family members may also help with daily expenses for some time.

Transparent communication with them is important.

Avoiding Traps of Loan Apps & Credit Cards

Avoid borrowing from mobile loan apps due to high interest.

Credit cards should not be used for cash withdrawals.

Paying only the minimum due on a credit card leads to more debt.

If you have credit card debt, clear it first due to high interest.

Stick to formal financial institutions for loans.

Exploring Debt Restructuring Options

If you have a bank loan, check if restructuring is possible.

Some banks allow restructuring in financial hardship cases.

This can reduce EMI or provide a temporary relief period.

Approach your lenders with a genuine repayment plan.

Avoid defaulting, as it can hurt your credit score.

Avoiding High-Risk Investments

Do not fall for quick-money schemes or gambling.

Avoid investments that promise unrealistically high returns.

Avoid stock market trading without proper knowledge.

Focus on steady income generation instead of risky bets.

Checking for Any Insurance Policies

If you have LIC, ULIP, or investment-linked insurance, review them.

If surrendering makes sense, reinvest the amount wisely.

Do not stop health insurance, as medical emergencies can worsen finances.

Creating a Step-by-Step Debt Repayment Plan

Pay the minimum due on all loans to avoid penalties.

Focus on repaying the highest-interest loan first.

Negotiate lower interest rates with lenders.

Increase income through side jobs.

Reduce unnecessary expenses to save money.

Explore options like debt consolidation if suitable.

Seek family support where possible.

Avoid new loans unless absolutely necessary.

Finally

Your financial situation is tough but not impossible to fix.

With discipline and effort, debt repayment is possible.

Every small step in saving and earning will help.

Avoid financial mistakes and stay committed to the plan.

With time, your financial situation will improve.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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At the age of 35 I had 15 lakhs saving, but due a surgery at home I had to almost empty it, on top of it even I had gone through and surgery plus even my father too ( all three generations nero issue) from +15 I went to 25lakhs of debt From various apps and financial sector. I was able to settle few loans and credits but still my outstanding is approx 20 lakhs. My monthly income is 25000 and my only intrest per month is 12500 How do I get of it asap, as living a normal life seems magic.
Ans: Your financial situation is challenging, but not impossible to fix. With a structured approach, discipline, and patience, you can come out of this debt and regain financial stability. Below is a step-by-step guide to help you get back on track.

Understanding the Current Financial Situation
You had Rs. 15 lakhs in savings, but due to medical emergencies, your finances took a hit.

Now, you are left with Rs. 20 lakhs of debt, with an income of Rs. 25,000 per month.

Your monthly interest alone is Rs. 12,500, which is eating up 50% of your earnings.

The key priority should be reducing interest burden and increasing cash flow.

Steps to Reduce Your Debt Faster
1. Stop Borrowing More Money
Do not take new loans to pay old loans.

Avoid borrowing from friends or family unless it is interest-free and comes with no pressure.

Stay away from personal loans, credit card loans, and payday loans, as they have high interest rates.

2. Prioritise High-Interest Loans First
List down all your loans and interest rates.

Pay off loans with the highest interest rate first.

If possible, negotiate with lenders for lower interest rates.

3. Consolidate Loans for Lower Interest Rate
Check if a bank can give you a low-interest personal loan to clear high-cost debts.

If you have a good credit history, you may get a balance transfer facility on credit cards or personal loans.

Consider a secured loan against any assets, but only if the interest rate is much lower.

4. Increase Your Monthly EMI Payment
Paying only the minimum EMI will keep you stuck in debt for years.

Try increasing your EMI by even Rs. 2,000-3,000 per month to reduce the loan tenure.

Any extra income, bonus, or gift money should go towards clearing debt first.

Boosting Income to Tackle Debt
5. Explore Part-Time Work or Freelancing
A second source of income can help you clear your debt faster.

Consider freelancing, online tutoring, content writing, data entry, or delivery jobs.

If possible, take up overtime or extra shifts at work.

6. Use Your Skills to Earn More
Identify any skills that can help you earn extra money.

If you have a talent for repair work, photography, teaching, or writing, offer your services.

Even small extra earnings of Rs. 5,000-10,000 per month can speed up debt repayment.

7. Rent Out Assets for Passive Income
If you have an extra room, vehicle, or any asset, consider renting it.

This can bring in some cash flow without extra effort.

Cutting Expenses to Free Up More Cash
8. Reduce Non-Essential Spending
Track every rupee spent and eliminate unnecessary expenses.

Stop eating out, buying expensive clothes, or making impulsive purchases.

Switch to cheaper alternatives for groceries, transport, and entertainment.

9. Pause Investments Until Debt is Cleared
Right now, clearing debt should be the priority over investing.

Stop SIPs or investments temporarily and resume them once debts are under control.

Avoid risky investments like stocks or crypto, as losses can worsen your situation.

10. Negotiate Bills and Cut Fixed Costs
Talk to your landlord, service providers, and utility companies for possible discounts.

If possible, shift to a smaller house or a cheaper location to save on rent.

Reduce electricity, water, and mobile bills by using them wisely.

Managing Financial Stress and Mental Health
11. Accept the Situation Without Guilt
Medical emergencies are unpredictable, and you did what was needed for your family.

Do not feel guilty or blame yourself. Instead, focus on the solution.

12. Involve Your Family in Financial Planning
If you have a spouse, siblings, or parents who can help, discuss the situation with them.

They may not be able to give money, but they can support in other ways.

13. Stay Positive and Focused
Financial stress is tough, but worrying too much will not solve the problem.

Stay focused on taking action every month to improve your situation.

Celebrate small wins like closing one loan or saving an extra Rs. 1,000.

Long-Term Financial Stability
14. Build an Emergency Fund Once Debt is Cleared
After clearing debt, start saving at least Rs. 2,000 per month as an emergency fund.

This will help in handling future emergencies without taking loans.

15. Invest Smartly for Future Growth
Once financially stable, invest wisely in well-managed mutual funds for long-term wealth.

Avoid financial products with hidden charges like ULIPs or endowment plans.

16. Get Proper Health Insurance
Medical expenses caused the current debt. Invest in health insurance to prevent this in the future.

Look for affordable policies covering major illnesses.

Finally
The journey out of debt is difficult but achievable with the right approach.

Focus on reducing high-interest loans, earning more, and cutting unnecessary expenses.

Take small steps each month, and within a few years, you will be debt-free and financially stable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Unable to figure out what to do. Shouls i proceed for divorce? And if yes how? Here is my story: This is a long post. But i might have still missed few small instances in between. So I got married on October 3, 2022. Our conversation started through the Jeevansathi app, but the actual conversation began in July 2022 when her father contacted me. The first contact was from their side. At that time, I was returning to Chennai from Ongole by train when I received her father's call. He asked about my job and other details, to which I mentioned that I work for SBI in Tamil Nadu. After that, our conversation started. In the early days, the conversation was really good, and she spoke very well. Later, I visited their house with my mother. During the conversation there, she mentioned that many proposals had come before, but she hadn't been able to decide. One proposal was from a guy with a package of 30 lakh, but she clearly said that money doesn’t matter to her; she wanted a good person. During that meeting, I mentioned that I am a simple person, and my family consists of only my mother and me. I also clarified that due to my job, I could be transferred. After that meeting, we did the formal engagement. Later, we brought sweets from Haldiram, and that was when our engagement was officially recognized. After that, our conversations continued regularly. For a while, everything was fine, but then we started arguing over small things. Once, I told her that I meditate, and she said, "Meditation is something foolish people do, it doesn’t help." This led to an argument. I also mentioned that if we have children, we should send them to good universities like Harvard or Oxford, and this too led to an argument, as she felt we shouldn't put pressure on children to earn money. Then came the topic of money. I shared my salary slip and explained how both working and saving money are important because expenses are high. However, she said, "Saving money is foolish, everyone lives paycheck to paycheck nowadays." I tried to explain the importance of savings, but our discussions continued to be challenging. At one point, she said she wouldn’t wear sindoor or the mangalsutra. I told her that there was no need to wear it every day, just on special occasions. I agreed with this. As the arguments increased, I spoke to her father and mentioned that maybe she didn’t want to marry me. But her father reassured me that it wasn’t true, and they would talk to her. After that, things seemed normal for a while, but small arguments kept happening. In August 2022, I visited her again. I thought we could spend some time together and understand each other better. We went to Aerocity, where we had pizza and roamed around. After that, we went to Radisson Hotel on 27th July 2022, and our engagement was finalized. Over these two months, our communication continued, and eventually, on October 2, 2022, we had our engagement ceremony, and on October 3, 2022, we got married. After the wedding, we planned a honeymoon. Initially, she wanted to go to Vaishno Devi, so I took her there by Vande Bharat Express. Her uncle arranged VIP darshan. We walked up, but on the way back, her legs started hurting, so we rode a horse. After sitting on the horse for a long time, she had back pain. I reached the hotel, tried to soothe her pain by soaking her legs in hot water, and then we slept. After that, we planned to go to Udaipur. We took a SpiceJet flight there and booked a hotel near Fatehpur Sagar Lake. She wanted a lake-view room, but it wasn’t available. She argued with the staff, and we had to move to another hotel at night. The environment there wasn’t great, but she chose it. During our visit to Udaipur Fort, she suddenly said she wouldn’t go to the restaurant with me and would go home alone. I still don’t understand the reason behind this. From that point, my behavior towards her changed. After Udaipur, we planned to go to Agra. There, she suddenly accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened to teach me a lesson. I asked her where this thought came from, but she didn’t answer. In July and August 2022, I visited her again. We traveled together and tried to understand each other better, but she never told me much about herself. After the wedding, I visited her during Diwali. She was happy initially, but gradually she became distant and stopped talking much. She wasn’t involved in decorating the house or participating in the Diwali puja. She remained absorbed in her own world, talking to her parents or I don’t know who else, while distancing herself from me. She needed reasons to fight, while I tried to stay calm, as it was a new marriage. On October 25, 2022, I returned to Chennai, and she came to Chennai a few days later. My mother also arrived in Chennai on October 26, and she stayed with us in Chennai until December. During this time, she started fighting over every little thing. She complained about who would do the housework and kept accusing me of not having enough money. She suggested hiring someone for cleaning, even though my mother and I managed it well. Then she refused to sleep with me, and we didn’t have any physical intimacy. Whenever she fought with me, she tried to belittle me. In January, she went back to Delhi, and I went to convince her to come back in January. During Lohri, I gave her a sari and gifts, but she still didn’t talk to me properly. She treated me very badly and didn’t want to stay with us. She fought with me several times and went back to her house. In February 2023, she came to Chennai again, but things were still not right between us. In April 2024, she came back to stay with me, but the very next day, the fights started again. She accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened me. She destroyed things in the house, broke dishes and glasses, and created a mess. When I told her mother about this, she advised me to send her back. I booked her flight, and on April 7, 2024, she left. Since then, she has not been living with me. After that, I worked hard to bring her back. It was September when I managed to convince her to come. I tried to make her stay with me, but she stayed only for 4-5 days. On the 5th day, she started fighting again and decided to leave. She went to the railway station and sat there, saying, "I cannot live with you." We argued that night, and she left the house, shouting abuses at me and went back to her home. She thought everything would be fine, but when I tried talking to her, she started blaming me for not wanting her to stay with me.
Ans: It sounds like you've tried very hard to make this marriage work, but your wife has been emotionally distant, hostile, and unwilling to engage in a meaningful relationship. From what you’ve shared, there have been continuous conflicts, false accusations, and a lack of physical and emotional connection. It seems like she is not interested in making the relationship work, and her behavior—leaving multiple times, refusing intimacy, and fighting constantly—suggests deep incompatibility.

Before making a final decision, ask yourself: Is there anything left to salvage? Do you still love her and believe this marriage has hope if both of you genuinely try? Or do you feel exhausted and trapped in a cycle of disappointment and rejection? If you feel there is nothing left, then divorce may be the healthiest option for your peace of mind and future happiness.

If you decide to proceed with divorce, start by seeking legal counsel. In India, divorce can be mutual or contested. If she agrees, a mutual consent divorce is the easiest way. If she does not, you may need to file on grounds of cruelty or irretrievable breakdown of marriage. Gather evidence of her behavior—messages, incidents, and anything that proves your case.

This is not an easy decision, but your mental health and self-respect matter. If she is unwilling to change or make efforts, you should not have to live in constant conflict. Do you think she would agree to a mutual separation, or would she fight it?

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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