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I'm 45, earning 2.3L p.m., with a family and a 75L home loan. Can I retire in 10 years with a 1L monthly income?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 01, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2024Hindi
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Hi Vivek, I am 45 year old. Myself and wife together earning 2.3L p.m. We have kids of aged 11 years and 3 years. Our monthly expenses are around 90K. We have home loan of 75L with 80k EMI for a tenure of 13 years and need to pay 30L for our new property in one year period. We have 50L worth apartment, 40L in PPF, 55L in PF, 20L in NPS, 40L in MF, 10L in stocks and 10L in ULIPs. We have monthly MF SIP of 40K and 10K pm for term and health insurances. We are expecting around 1cr expenses for children education till their graduation.We want to retire in next 10 years with 1L monthly income. Please advice on how to invest and plan for our future.

Ans: Existing Financial Position
Sources of Income and Expenses:

Monthly income: 2.3 lakhs
Monthly expenditure: Rs 90,000
Home loan EMI: Rs 80,000 (13 years tenure)
Probable payment towards new property: Rs 30 lakhs (can be within one year)
Assets and Investments:

Apartment value: Rs 50 lakhs
PPF: Rs 40 lakhs
PF: Rs 55 lakhs
NPS: Rs 20 lakhs
Mutual Funds: Rs 40 lakhs
Shares and Stocks: Rs 10 lakhs
ULIPs: Rs 10 lakhs
Insurance:

Insurance premium payment by month: Rs 10,000 (Term and Health Insurance)
SIP:

Monthly SIP: Rs 40,000
Education Expenses:

Child's education expense : Rs 1 crore
Retirement Goals
Retirement Plan:

Retirement age: 55 years
Desired monthly income post-retirement: Rs 1 lakh
Analysis and Recommendations
Debt Management:

Firstly, try to repay the home loan.
If possible, prepay the loan to lessen interest burden.
Investment Strategy:

Continue with existing SIPs.
If possible, increase SIPs to enlarge the corpus.
Diversification:

Your investments are very well diversified.
There needs to be a balance between equity and debt.
Education Fund:

Set aside a dedicated fund for children's education.
Use a mix of PPF, mutual funds, and fixed deposits.
Emergency Fund:

Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses.
Use liquid funds or a savings account for this purpose.
Retirement Corpus:

Calculate the required corpus for Rs 1 lakh monthly income.
Take into consideration inflation and healthcare costs.
Health and Term Insurance:

Take stock of your insurance coverage
Ensure that it is adequate to cover possible medical expenses.
Action Plan
Increase SIPs:

Gradually increase the amount of the monthly SIP.
Mix of large-cap, mid-cap and balanced funds.
Education of Children:

Allocate some mutual funds for education.
Child-specific education plans can be invested in if they are better in terms of returns.
Prepayment of Home Loan:

Utilize excess income and bonus for pre-paying the home loan.
The burden on the tenure and interest decreases.
Regular Review:

Yearly review of your financial plan
Investments alter with the market condition and change in goals.
Final Takeaways
You are doing well on the financial front. Now, increase your SIPs and try to prepay on your home loan. Diversify your portfolio appropriately with adequate insurance coverage. Such disciplined planning with periodic reviews will help you achieve retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2024Hindi
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Hi sir am 41yrs old and earning 91k per month and have saving of 1 lac . I have invested 15L in M.I.S ,6.38L in equities and 5k every month in s.i.p.I have two kids , am planning to buy house after 4 years worth 50L kindly tell me any investment plan ...so that I can cover the expense of kids education and marriage
Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach towards financial planning, especially considering your children's education and marriage expenses, as well as your goal of buying a house. Here's a tailored investment plan to help you achieve your objectives:

Education Fund for Children:
Open separate education funds or investment accounts for each child to save specifically for their education expenses.
Consider investing in Equity Mutual Funds or Equity Linked Saving Schemes (ELSS) for long-term growth potential, given your investment horizon.
Start a systematic investment plan (SIP) in diversified equity funds, aiming to accumulate sufficient funds by the time your children reach college age.
Marriage Fund for Children:
Similarly, create dedicated investment accounts for your children's marriage expenses to ensure you have adequate funds when needed.
Explore a mix of equity and debt investments based on your risk tolerance and time horizon.
Consider fixed-income instruments like Public Provident Fund (PPF), Fixed Deposits (FDs), or Debt Mutual Funds for stability and capital preservation.
House Purchase Fund:
Since you plan to buy a house in four years, focus on short to medium-term investment options to accumulate the required down payment.
Consider investing in Debt Mutual Funds or Fixed Maturity Plans (FMPs) for capital protection and relatively higher returns compared to traditional savings accounts.
Evaluate your risk appetite and liquidity needs when selecting investment vehicles for your house purchase fund.
Regular Review and Adjustment:
Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and time horizon.
Adjust your investment strategy as needed, considering changes in market conditions, personal circumstances, and goal priorities.
Emergency Fund:
Maintain a separate emergency fund equivalent to at least six months' worth of living expenses to cover unforeseen financial challenges or expenses.
Keep this fund in a liquid and easily accessible account such as a savings account or liquid mutual fund.
Consult with Financial Advisor:
Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner or investment advisor to tailor an investment plan that suits your specific goals, risk profile, and financial situation.
A professional advisor can provide personalized guidance and help you navigate the complexities of investment planning, ensuring you make informed decisions.
By implementing a structured investment plan tailored to your goals and financial circumstances, you can work towards securing your children's future education and marriage expenses while also saving for your own house purchase. Stay disciplined in your savings and investment approach, and regularly monitor your progress towards achieving these important milestones

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi, I am 45. Myself and wife together earning 2.3L p.m. We have kids of aged 11 years and 3 years. Our monthly expenses are around 90K. We have home loan of 75L with 80k EMI for a tenure of 13 years. We have 50L worth apartment, 40L in PPF, 55L in PF, 20L in NPS, 40L in MF, 10L in stocks and 10L in ULPIs. We have monthly MF SIP of 40K and 10K pm for term and health insurances. We want to retire in next 10 years. Please advice on how to plan for our future.
Ans: Current Financial Situation
You and your wife earn Rs 2.3 lakhs per month.

Your monthly expenses are Rs 90,000.

You have a home loan of Rs 75 lakhs with an EMI of Rs 80,000 for 13 years.

Your apartment is worth Rs 50 lakhs.

You have Rs 40 lakhs in PPF, Rs 55 lakhs in PF, Rs 20 lakhs in NPS, Rs 40 lakhs in mutual funds, Rs 10 lakhs in stocks, and Rs 10 lakhs in ULIPs.

You invest Rs 40,000 per month in SIPs and Rs 10,000 per month in term and health insurance.

You want to retire in 10 years.

Assessment of Current Investments
Mutual Funds
You have Rs 40 lakhs in mutual funds and a monthly SIP of Rs 40,000.

Mutual funds offer growth and diversification. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio.

Provident Fund (PF) and Public Provident Fund (PPF)
You have Rs 55 lakhs in PF and Rs 40 lakhs in PPF. These are safe investments with steady returns. They are good for long-term planning.

National Pension System (NPS)
Your Rs 20 lakhs in NPS will provide a pension after retirement. It is beneficial for retirement planning.

Stocks
You have Rs 10 lakhs in stocks. Stocks can provide high returns but come with higher risk.

Unit Linked Insurance Plans (ULIPs)
You have Rs 10 lakhs in ULIPs. ULIPs combine investment and insurance. They often have high charges and lower returns compared to mutual funds.

Insurance
You invest Rs 10,000 monthly in term and health insurance. This is important for financial security.

Evaluating Future Needs
Retirement Goal
You want to retire in 10 years. Plan to cover expenses and maintain your lifestyle.

Home Loan
Your home loan is significant. Consider ways to reduce this burden before retirement.

Strategies for Future Planning
Increase SIP Investments
Consider increasing your SIP investments. This will help grow your corpus over time.

Diversify Your Portfolio
Diversify your investments to reduce risk and enhance returns. Consider actively managed funds for better performance.

Review ULIPs
ULIPs often have high charges. Consider surrendering ULIPs and reinvesting in mutual funds for better returns.

Regular Fund Investments
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures professional guidance. Regular funds provide this advantage over direct funds.

Pay Down Home Loan
Focus on reducing your home loan. This will reduce financial stress in retirement.

Plan for Children’s Education
Set aside funds for your children’s education. This is a significant future expense.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund for unforeseen expenses. This should cover at least 6 months of expenses.

Review Insurance Coverage
Ensure adequate term and health insurance. This protects against unexpected events.

Disadvantages of Index Funds and Direct Funds
Index Funds
Index funds track the market. They may not provide the best returns in all conditions.

Direct Funds
Direct funds require active management by the investor. This can be time-consuming and requires expertise.

Final Insights
You have a solid financial base. Focus on increasing SIP investments and diversifying your portfolio.

Review and potentially surrender ULIPs to reinvest in mutual funds.

Work on reducing your home loan to ease financial stress.

Ensure you have adequate insurance and an emergency fund.

Consider professional guidance from a Certified Financial Planner for better investment choices.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Moneywize

Moneywize   |174 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 08, 2024Hindi
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My wife and I earn Rs 2.9 lakh per month. We have two daughters: 8 and 5. Our monthly expenses are around 120K. We have home loan of 50 lakh with 50k EMI for 10 years. We will need Rs 40 lakh for our new property in one year period. We have Rs 80 lakh worth apartment, Rs 20 lakh in PPF, Rs 35 lakh in PF, Rs 10 lakh in NPS, Rs 20 lakh in MFs, Rs 20 lakh in stocks and Rs 20 lakh in ULIPs. We have monthly MF SIPs of 80K and 40K pm and also have our individual as well as family floater health insurances and term insurance. We are expecting around Rs 2 cr expenses for children education till their graduation. We want to retire in next 15 years with Rs 3 lakh monthly income. How should we invest and plan for our future?
Ans: To plan for your future and ensure you’re on track to meet your goals, here’s a strategy that might work well for you:

1. Emergency Fund

First, it’s a good idea to set aside 6-12 months of your expenses (around Rs 7.2 lakh to Rs 14.4 lakh) in something easily accessible, like a savings account or a liquid mutual fund. This way, you’ll have a safety net in case anything unexpected comes up, and you won’t have to dip into your other investments.

2. Debt Management

Home Loan: Keep up with your current EMI of Rs 50,000. Since it’s spread over 10 years, it’s manageable given your income. If you find yourself with some extra cash, consider making lump sum prepayments to shorten the loan period and reduce the interest you’ll pay in the long run.

3. Funding the New Property

You’ll need Rs 40 lakh in a year for your new property. It might be wise to start planning how to use your liquid investments, like mutual funds and stocks, for this purpose. If the market conditions are favourable, you can gradually redeem the required amount to avoid the risks associated with market timing. It’s best to avoid taking on new debt if possible, to keep your finances balanced.

4. Children's Education

You’re looking at about Rs 2 crore for your daughters’ education, and you’ve got a 10-12 year window to prepare.
Dedicated Education Fund: It’s worth starting a specific SIP in equity mutual funds with a long-term horizon. With the power of compounding on your side, you can either reallocate some of your existing SIPs or start new ones to build up this fund steadily. Also, consider Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY) for each daughter -- it offers a good interest rate and comes with tax benefits.

5. Retirement Planning

You’d like to retire in 15 years with Rs 3 lakh coming in every month. Accounting for inflation, you’re looking at needing a corpus of around Rs 7-8 crore.

• Current Retirement Savings: You already have Rs 85 lakh (from your PPF, PF, and NPS), which will grow over time, but you’ll need to invest more to hit your target.
• Invest Aggressively: Continue with your existing SIPs and think about increasing them each year as your income grows. Ideally, try to invest 30-40 per cent of your monthly income towards retirement.
• Equity Exposure: With your long-term horizon, keeping a high equity exposure (around 70-80 per cent) in your retirement portfolio could help maximise growth.
• NPS Contributions: You might also want to increase your contributions to the NPS for an additional tax-efficient retirement nest egg.

6. Insurance

Make sure your term insurance is enough to cover at least 10-15 times your annual income, which will help secure your family’s future in case anything happens to you. You’ve already got health insurance, which is great -- just review it to ensure it’ll be enough to cover rising medical costs in the future.

7. Tax Efficiency

Use all the tax-saving instruments available to you, like Section 80C, 80D, and 80CCD(1B), to minimise your tax liabilities. Also, consider diversifying your investments into tax-efficient options like ELSS, PPF, and NPS.

8. Review and Adjust

Finally, it’s important to regularly check in on your financial plan, at least once a year, to make sure you’re still on track. If your income, expenses, or goals change, you’ll need to adjust your investments accordingly.

By following this plan, you should be well on your way to achieving your financial goals, securing your children’s education, and retiring comfortably with the income you desire.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
Money
My salary 2.4 lac per month. I am 42 my wife and two son comprising of my family. One son is in 5th standard and other yet to start education. I have 2 house emis of 1.6 lacs of which one generates rent of 40k per month. Have around 50 lacs in investment comprising of 20lac in ppf and rest in stocks and sips and mfs. Only have company health insurance and no term insurance. Schooling cost is 1.2 lacs per annum. Rest expenses includes holiday every 6 months and daily needs. Please help me sort out investment to ensure I can generate enough to retire in next 10 years?
Ans: You have a solid foundation, and it’s commendable that you are managing two home loans while balancing various investments. Your monthly salary of Rs 2.4 lakhs and an EMI burden of Rs 1.6 lakhs shows you are carrying significant financial responsibility. However, generating Rs 40,000 from rent is helping reduce the impact of your EMIs.

Key highlights:

Monthly salary: Rs 2.4 lakhs
Two house EMIs: Rs 1.6 lakhs
Rent: Rs 40,000 per month
Investment portfolio: Rs 50 lakhs (Rs 20 lakhs in PPF, rest in stocks, SIPs, and MFs)
Annual schooling cost: Rs 1.2 lakhs
Other expenses: Holiday every 6 months, daily needs
No term insurance
Company health insurance only
While you have done well to invest Rs 50 lakhs, the lack of term insurance and the heavy EMI burden may be areas for improvement. Your goal of retiring in 10 years is achievable, but some adjustments will be necessary to optimize your portfolio and secure a comfortable future.

Investment Strategy Review
Let’s break down your current investments to better align them with your retirement goal in the next 10 years.

PPF (Public Provident Fund) - Rs 20 Lakhs
The PPF is a safe, long-term investment with tax benefits, but its returns are relatively modest. Over the next 10 years, this will continue to grow at a steady pace.

Action Plan:

Keep contributing to your PPF but avoid putting additional large sums.
PPF should be treated as part of your safe, low-risk portfolio.
Stocks, SIPs, and Mutual Funds (Rest of Rs 30 Lakhs)
Your exposure to equities through stocks and mutual funds will help you generate growth, but it needs diversification and regular review. SIPs in actively managed funds are ideal for long-term goals like retirement.

Action Plan:

Actively managed mutual funds: Ensure that the mutual funds you are invested in are diversified across sectors and are actively managed.
Avoid direct funds: Regular funds provide better tracking and advice from an MFD with CFP credentials, which is crucial for your long-term planning.
Review your stock portfolio: Individual stocks carry more risk than mutual funds. It is wise to regularly assess performance and sell off underperforming stocks.
Balance with debt funds: Include some debt funds for stability, especially as you approach your retirement goal.
Rental Income from Property
Your rental income of Rs 40,000 per month is a significant contributor to offset your EMIs. While real estate is not recommended as a new investment option, your existing property generating income can support your cash flow needs.

Action Plan:

Rent reassessment: Ensure you are getting market rent or consider raising it over time to adjust for inflation.
No additional real estate investments: Avoid tying more capital into real estate. Focus on growing your financial portfolio instead.
Critical Areas for Improvement
1. Lack of Term Insurance
It’s essential to secure your family’s future in case of any unexpected event. Currently, you do not have term insurance, which is a vital part of any financial plan.

Action Plan:

Immediate term insurance: Buy a term plan covering at least 10-12 times your annual income. This will ensure your family is financially secure if something happens to you.
2. Health Insurance Coverage
You rely on company-provided health insurance. This is risky, as you may lose coverage if you switch jobs or retire early. Having separate family health insurance will ensure consistent protection.

Action Plan:

Buy individual health insurance: Get family floater health insurance with adequate coverage for your entire family, ensuring lifelong renewability.
Supplemental critical illness cover: Consider adding critical illness coverage to protect against major health expenses.
3. EMI Management
You have significant EMIs totaling Rs 1.6 lakhs per month. While one property generates rental income, the overall EMI burden is high. Managing this will be crucial for freeing up cash flow for further investments.

Action Plan:

Prepay EMIs: Any surplus income should go toward prepaying your loans, starting with the one without rental income. Reducing this burden will ease your cash flow.
No additional loans: Avoid taking on any further debt to ensure your financial plan stays on track.
Retirement Planning
You aim to retire in 10 years, at age 52. With your current lifestyle and goals, your investments will need to provide enough to cover your post-retirement expenses. Here’s a strategy to ensure a comfortable retirement:

1. Estimate Future Expenses
Your current schooling costs are Rs 1.2 lakhs per year, and other living expenses include vacations and daily needs. Over the next 10 years, expenses will increase due to inflation, and you must account for these future costs when planning your retirement.

Action Plan:

Create a detailed budget: Track all your current expenses and project them for the next 10 years, considering inflation. This will give you a clearer picture of your financial needs after retirement.
2. Build a Retirement Corpus
With 10 years to go, you will need to create a solid retirement corpus. The Rs 50 lakhs you currently have, along with further investments, will need to grow substantially. Here’s how to optimize this growth:

Action Plan:

Increase SIP contributions: Start contributing more to your SIPs as soon as your EMI burden reduces. A higher SIP contribution in actively managed mutual funds will provide better growth potential over the next decade.
Diversify investments: Include a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds to ensure a balanced risk-return profile. Actively managed funds, especially those recommended by a certified financial planner, will perform better than index funds or ETFs.
Regular portfolio review: Work with a certified financial planner to review your portfolio annually. Ensure your funds are performing as expected and make necessary adjustments.
3. Plan for Post-Retirement Income
After retirement, you will need a reliable source of income to meet your monthly expenses. Your investments must be structured to provide regular income, adjusted for inflation.

Action Plan:

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP): Set up SWPs in mutual funds to provide a regular, inflation-adjusted income post-retirement.
Emergency Fund: Set aside a portion of your corpus in a liquid fund for emergencies. This will ensure you don’t have to liquidate long-term investments prematurely.
Final Insights
To achieve your goal of retiring in 10 years, you will need to fine-tune your investment strategy and reduce your EMI burden. Your current investments, while substantial, require diversification and a focus on growth-oriented funds.

Additionally, securing term insurance and individual health insurance is critical for protecting your family’s future. By prepaying your loans and increasing SIP contributions over time, you will be better positioned to build a retirement corpus capable of supporting your post-retirement lifestyle.

Finally, always remember that regular reviews with a certified financial planner are key to staying on track and adjusting for any changes in your financial situation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

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I’ve always aspired to work in the Ministry of External Affairs, but I know the competition is tough. I will be appearing for the SSC CGL exam this year. For Tier 2, which sections or strategies should I prioritise to boost my chances of landing my dream role in this recruitment drive?
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Quantitative aptitude (200 Marks) is a high-scoring but time-consuming area, with areas such as algebra, geometry, trigonometry, menuration, data interpretation, and number system. Practice and strengthen basic skills, focusing on accuracy and speed. Resources for pattern comprehension include R.S. Aggarwal's Gradeup and Testbook quantitative aptitude with online mocks.

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Nayagam P

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi
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Hello Sir, I’m back to you with a question . Sir, doing mechanical in top nits or iiits or bits, what are the possibilities to do ms in computer science. I keep hearing from everyone to go for cse to do ms cs , but my daughter prefers good college first and then cse, based on her capability it’s extremely difficult to get cse in tier1 , so she says I will do mechanical in tier 1 and do ms cs abroad. Please guide on the pros , cons Sir
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However, transitioning from Mechanical to CS for an MS overseas can be challenging due to the need for prior knowledge in CS principles. With more self-learning and certificates, it is possible. Additionally, CS is tough for MS admissions in the US, and students may have to create a strong profile through internships, online courses, and certifications in CS domains without a CS degree.

To ensure a seamless transition, students should select electives in programming and computer science based on their undergraduate course (if the institute allows). Online programs for courses in data structures, Python, and artificial intelligence can be found on CS-oriented sites like Coursera, edX, or NPTEL. Summer internships involving data analysis, coding, or automation projects can also be sought. Multidisciplinary initiatives like mechanical engineering automation or computational fluid dynamics (CFD) can also be explored.

If your daughter's main goal is to pursue an MS in CS, it is better to consider Tier 1 Institutes with CS or IT branches and top-tier institutes with Mechanical focus actively pursuing CS. All the Best for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Recently, I (28M) had surgery and have been bedridden for 15 days. During this time, my girlfriend told me her female friend wanted to meet up with a guy. This guy was bringing along a male friend whom I’ve asked my girlfriend to avoid in the past because he tends to get touchy with her. They planned to stay in a hotel, and her friend wanted to be with the guy at night, meaning my girlfriend and the touchy guy would likely share a single room. A couple of days before the trip, she asked me if she should go. I told her it was her choice but made it clear I wasn’t happy about it. Despite that, she went, and when I confronted her, she gave responses like: • “I didn’t invite the touchy guy; the other guy did.” • “Just because you’re bedridden, you don’t want me to go outside.” • “I didn’t touch him; he got touchy with me.” Yeah, maybe I’m jealous or overthinking, but this whole situation has made me unsure about marriage altogether. Am I overreacting?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I really cannot comment if you are overreacting or have every reason to feel this way without knowing a bit more about the entire situation. But what I can tell is that you should communicate your feelings to your partner. Let her know that while maintaining individuality or pursuing individual wishes in a relationship is important, it is equally important to pay heed to what makes your partner uncomfortable. Your request, from what information you have provided, seemed reasonable, while her reasoning that it is the guy's fault, not hers also makes perfect sense. So I think the best course of action is to let the situation calm down and have an open conversation. Could she have avoided this meetup to make you happy? Yes. But, she could've thought that if she avoids one thing for your happiness, you might start asking her to give up more things in the future, which is a real issue in many relationships. I think it is important to clear up all of these concerns and feelings before moving on with lifelong commitment.

Hope this helps

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Career
This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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