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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 05, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2024Hindi
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Hi sir am 41yrs old and earning 91k per month and have saving of 1 lac . I have invested 15L in M.I.S ,6.38L in equities and 5k every month in s.i.p.I have two kids , am planning to buy house after 4 years worth 50L kindly tell me any investment plan ...so that I can cover the expense of kids education and marriage

Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach towards financial planning, especially considering your children's education and marriage expenses, as well as your goal of buying a house. Here's a tailored investment plan to help you achieve your objectives:

Education Fund for Children:
Open separate education funds or investment accounts for each child to save specifically for their education expenses.
Consider investing in Equity Mutual Funds or Equity Linked Saving Schemes (ELSS) for long-term growth potential, given your investment horizon.
Start a systematic investment plan (SIP) in diversified equity funds, aiming to accumulate sufficient funds by the time your children reach college age.
Marriage Fund for Children:
Similarly, create dedicated investment accounts for your children's marriage expenses to ensure you have adequate funds when needed.
Explore a mix of equity and debt investments based on your risk tolerance and time horizon.
Consider fixed-income instruments like Public Provident Fund (PPF), Fixed Deposits (FDs), or Debt Mutual Funds for stability and capital preservation.
House Purchase Fund:
Since you plan to buy a house in four years, focus on short to medium-term investment options to accumulate the required down payment.
Consider investing in Debt Mutual Funds or Fixed Maturity Plans (FMPs) for capital protection and relatively higher returns compared to traditional savings accounts.
Evaluate your risk appetite and liquidity needs when selecting investment vehicles for your house purchase fund.
Regular Review and Adjustment:
Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and time horizon.
Adjust your investment strategy as needed, considering changes in market conditions, personal circumstances, and goal priorities.
Emergency Fund:
Maintain a separate emergency fund equivalent to at least six months' worth of living expenses to cover unforeseen financial challenges or expenses.
Keep this fund in a liquid and easily accessible account such as a savings account or liquid mutual fund.
Consult with Financial Advisor:
Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner or investment advisor to tailor an investment plan that suits your specific goals, risk profile, and financial situation.
A professional advisor can provide personalized guidance and help you navigate the complexities of investment planning, ensuring you make informed decisions.
By implementing a structured investment plan tailored to your goals and financial circumstances, you can work towards securing your children's future education and marriage expenses while also saving for your own house purchase. Stay disciplined in your savings and investment approach, and regularly monitor your progress towards achieving these important milestones
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 36 year old earning 1.9 lacs per month and my investment is 33.5 lacs in FD, 10 lacs in savings account, 6 lacs equity, 6 lacs bonds, 1 lacs in mutual fund, 24 lacs in PPF account,11 lacs in EPF, 9 lacs in SSY in my daughter's name ,16 lacs in PPF account of my wife. I have one daughter studying in ukg. Please suggest investment plan for my daughter's education and my retirement and we want to purchase home in 5 years.
Ans: First, let me compliment you on your proactive approach to managing your finances. You are already on the right track with diversified investments. Your goals for your daughter’s education, your retirement, and purchasing a home in five years are commendable.

Balancing various financial goals while ensuring your family’s future is not easy. I understand the importance of each of these milestones for you and your family. Let's create a strategic investment plan to help you achieve these objectives.

Your Current Investments
Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs 33.5 lakhs

Savings Account: Rs 10 lakhs

Equity: Rs 6 lakhs

Bonds: Rs 6 lakhs

Mutual Fund: Rs 1 lakh

PPF Account: Rs 24 lakhs (self), Rs 16 lakhs (wife)

EPF: Rs 11 lakhs

SSY: Rs 9 lakhs (daughter)

Diversification and Allocation Strategy
Prioritizing Goals
Daughter’s Education
Home Purchase in 5 Years
Retirement
Suggested Diversification:
1. Equity Mutual Funds

Equity mutual funds are ideal for long-term growth. They have the potential for higher returns, albeit with higher risk.

Advantages:

High Returns: Potential for significant capital appreciation.
Diversification: Spread risk across various sectors and companies.
Professional Management: Expert fund managers handle your investments.
Disadvantages:

Market Volatility: Subject to market fluctuations.
No Guaranteed Returns: Returns vary based on market performance.
Recommended Allocation:

Allocate a portion of your savings account (e.g., Rs 5 lakhs) to equity mutual funds.
Continue with systematic investment plans (SIPs) in equity mutual funds for disciplined investing.
2. Debt Mutual Funds

Debt mutual funds are less volatile and provide stable returns. They are suitable for medium-term goals like home purchase.

Advantages:

Stability: Lower risk compared to equities.
Regular Income: Some funds offer regular interest payouts.
Liquidity: Easy to redeem.
Disadvantages:

Lower Returns: Generally lower than equity funds.
Interest Rate Risk: Returns affected by changes in interest rates.
Recommended Allocation:

Use a portion of your FD (e.g., Rs 10 lakhs) to invest in debt mutual funds.
This will provide a balance of safety and moderate returns.
3. Balanced or Hybrid Funds

Hybrid funds invest in both equity and debt, providing a balanced approach. They are suitable for medium to long-term goals.

Advantages:

Diversification: Combines equity and debt in one fund.
Risk Management: Reduces risk through diversification.
Professional Management: Managed by experts.
Disadvantages:

Moderate Returns: Returns are lower than pure equity funds but higher than debt funds.
Market Risk: Still subject to market fluctuations.
Recommended Allocation:

Consider allocating Rs 5 lakhs from your savings account to hybrid funds.
This provides a mix of growth and stability.
Strategic Investment Plan
Step 1: Assess Risk Tolerance
Understand your risk tolerance to determine the right mix of equity and debt investments.

Step 2: Define Financial Goals
Clearly define your goals to create a focused investment plan.

Step 3: Create a Diversified Portfolio
Diversify your investments across various asset classes to manage risk and achieve better returns.

Step 4: Monitor and Review
Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals and make adjustments as needed.

Daughter’s Education Fund
SIPs for Long-Term Growth
Invest in SIPs in equity mutual funds for long-term growth. Given the time frame, equity mutual funds will help accumulate a significant corpus.

Advantages:

Power of Compounding: SIPs leverage compounding for long-term growth.
Rupee Cost Averaging: Reduces the impact of market volatility.
Recommended Strategy:

Allocate Rs 5,000 per month in equity SIPs for your daughter’s education.
This disciplined approach will help build a substantial education fund over time.
Home Purchase in 5 Years
Medium-Term Investments
For a home purchase in five years, a mix of debt and hybrid funds is ideal. They offer stability with moderate returns.

Recommended Strategy:

Invest Rs 10 lakhs in debt mutual funds.
Invest Rs 5 lakhs in hybrid funds.
This strategy balances safety and growth, ensuring your funds grow steadily without high risk.
Retirement Planning
Long-Term Growth with Stability
For retirement, a mix of PPF, EPF, and equity mutual funds ensures long-term growth with stability.

Recommended Strategy:

Continue contributing to PPF and EPF for guaranteed returns and tax benefits.
Allocate Rs 5 lakhs from your savings account to equity mutual funds for higher growth.
Invest Rs 5,000 monthly in SIPs focused on retirement.
Avoiding High-Risk Investments
Chasing High Returns
Chasing high returns in the short run is risky and often leads to losses. It’s important to avoid get-rich-quick schemes as they can wipe off your principal completely. Shortcuts in investments are often the longest routes, leading to stress and financial instability.

Disadvantages of High-Risk Investments:

High Volatility: Short-term investments in equities can be very volatile.
Stress and Anxiety: Constant monitoring and stress due to market fluctuations.
Potential Losses: High risk of losing your principal amount.
Benefits of Long-Term Investments
Power of Compounding

Compounding works best over the long term. Reinvesting returns generates additional returns, leading to exponential growth.

Strategic Diversification

Diversification across asset classes helps in managing risk while aiming for better returns.

Professional Management

Investing through mutual funds managed by certified financial planners ensures expert handling of your portfolio.

Final Insights
Achieving high returns with low risk in one year is unrealistic. A balanced, diversified portfolio with professional guidance can help you make informed decisions and optimize your returns. Regular monitoring and adjustments are essential to stay aligned with your financial goals.

Balanced Approach:

Equity Mutual Funds: For long-term growth.
Debt Mutual Funds: For medium-term stability.
Hybrid Funds: For a balanced approach.
Regular Review:

Regularly review your investments to stay on track with your goals.
Make adjustments based on market conditions and your changing needs.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 36 year old earning 1.9 lacs per month and my investment is 33.5 lacs in FD, 12 lacs in savings account, 6 lacs equity, 6 lacs bonds, 1.2 lacs in mutual fund, 24 lacs in PPF account,11 lacs in EPF, 9 lacs in SSY in my daughter's name investing 1.5lacs every year for her education,16 lacs in PPF account of my wife. I have one daughter studying in ukg. Please suggest investment plan for my daughter's education and my retirement and we want to purchase home in 5 years.
Ans: Assessing Your Financial Situation
You are 36 years old, earning Rs. 1.9 lakhs per month. You have a substantial amount saved and invested in various financial instruments. Your current assets include:

Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs. 33.5 lakhs
Savings Account: Rs. 12 lakhs
Equity: Rs. 6 lakhs
Bonds: Rs. 6 lakhs
Mutual Funds: Rs. 1.2 lakhs
PPF (Your Account): Rs. 24 lakhs
EPF: Rs. 11 lakhs
SSY (Daughter’s Account): Rs. 9 lakhs, with Rs. 1.5 lakhs invested annually
PPF (Wife’s Account): Rs. 16 lakhs
Your financial goals are:

Saving for your daughter’s education.
Planning for your retirement.
Purchasing a home in 5 years.
Investment Strategy for Daughter’s Education
Your daughter is currently in UKG. Assuming higher education starts at 18, you have around 12 years to save for her education.

SSY Account: Continue investing Rs. 1.5 lakhs annually. SSY offers a high interest rate and tax benefits. This will accumulate a significant amount by the time she needs it.

Equity Mutual Funds: Increase your investment in equity mutual funds. Equity funds offer higher returns over the long term. This will help in accumulating a larger corpus for her education.

Recurring Deposits (RD): Consider starting an RD for regular contributions. This will help in accumulating funds systematically.

Planning for Retirement
You need to plan for a comfortable retirement. You have substantial savings in EPF and PPF, but more diversified investments are needed.

Equity Mutual Funds: Increase your investment in equity mutual funds. These funds provide high growth potential and will help in building a substantial retirement corpus.

NPS (National Pension System): Consider investing in NPS. It provides tax benefits and helps in building a retirement corpus. NPS also offers an option for partial withdrawal.

Balanced Funds: Invest in balanced funds. These funds invest in both equity and debt, offering a balance of growth and stability.

Purchasing a Home in 5 Years
You plan to buy a home in 5 years. You need to save for the down payment and consider home loan options.

Fixed Deposits (FD): Continue with your FD investments. FDs are safe and offer guaranteed returns. This will ensure that your down payment amount is secure.

Debt Mutual Funds: Invest in debt mutual funds. These funds are less volatile and provide stable returns. They are suitable for short to medium-term goals.

Asset Allocation and Diversification
To achieve your financial goals, a diversified portfolio is crucial. Here is a suggested asset allocation:

Equity (including Mutual Funds): 40%
Debt (including Bonds and FDs): 40%
PPF and EPF: 20%
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have professional fund managers. They aim to outperform the market. Here are some benefits:

Professional Expertise: Fund managers use their expertise to select stocks, aiming for higher returns.

Flexibility: Actively managed funds can adjust portfolios based on market conditions.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds might seem attractive due to lower expense ratios. However, investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers several advantages:

Expert Guidance: A CFP provides personalized advice based on your financial goals.

Regular Monitoring: They monitor your investments and make adjustments as needed.

Peace of Mind: Having a professional manage your investments reduces the stress of decision-making.

Regular Review and Adjustments
Regularly review your investment portfolio. Market conditions change, and your portfolio should adapt. A CFP can help with this:

Performance Review: Check the performance of your funds annually.

Rebalancing: Adjust your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Final Insights
To achieve your financial goals, create a diversified portfolio. Invest in equity mutual funds, debt mutual funds, and maintain your PPF contributions. Use the SSY for your daughter’s education. Consider NPS for retirement savings. Regularly review your investments and make necessary adjustments. With disciplined investing, you can secure your daughter's education, your retirement, and buy a home in 5 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7249 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 36 year old earning 1.9 lacs per month and my investment is 33.5 lacs in FD, 12.5 lacs in savings account, 6 lacs equity, 6 lacs bonds, 1 lacs in mutual fund, 24 lacs in PPF account,4 lacs in NPS,11 lacs in EPF, 9 lacs in SSY in my daughter's name for her education,16 lacs in PPF account of my wife. I have one daughter studying in ukg. Please suggest investment plan for my daughter's education and my retirement and we want to purchase home in 5 years.
Ans: You have done an impressive job building a diverse investment portfolio. Your current financial situation reflects careful planning and disciplined saving habits. Given your goal to secure your daughter's education, your retirement, and purchasing a home in five years, let’s evaluate and create a comprehensive plan.

Current Financial Snapshot
Monthly Income: Rs 1.9 lacs
Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs 33.5 lacs
Savings Account: Rs 12.5 lacs
Equity: Rs 6 lacs
Bonds: Rs 6 lacs
Mutual Fund: Rs 1 lac
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 24 lacs
National Pension System (NPS): Rs 4 lacs
Employees' Provident Fund (EPF): Rs 11 lacs
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): Rs 9 lacs
Wife’s PPF: Rs 16 lacs
You have a healthy mix of traditional and market-linked investments. Now, let’s focus on your objectives.

Daughter’s Education Planning
Education costs are rising significantly. Given your daughter is in UKG, you have around 12 years before she enters college. Planning for this well in advance will ease the financial burden later.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY):

This is an excellent start. Continue contributing to SSY as it offers attractive returns and tax benefits.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

Start an SIP in equity mutual funds. SIPs help in rupee cost averaging and mitigate market volatility. Equity funds tend to offer higher returns over the long term.

Child Education Plans:

Consider investing in child education mutual funds. These are tailored to accumulate funds for your child's higher education. They come with a lock-in period which ensures the fund remains untouched until required.

Recurring Deposits (RD):

You can open a recurring deposit to systematically save a fixed amount every month. This will add to your education corpus.

Retirement Planning
A well-planned retirement strategy ensures a comfortable and financially independent retirement life. Here’s how you can enhance your retirement corpus.

Public Provident Fund (PPF):

PPF is a long-term investment with tax benefits and decent returns. Continue contributing to your and your wife's PPF accounts regularly.

National Pension System (NPS):

NPS provides a good retirement income solution. Increase your contribution to NPS as it offers market-linked returns with a mix of equity, corporate bonds, and government securities.

Equity Mutual Funds:

Continue investing in equity mutual funds via SIP. Equity has the potential to offer high returns over a long investment horizon. This will help build a substantial corpus for retirement.

Balanced Funds:

Consider balanced or hybrid mutual funds. These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt, providing moderate returns with relatively lower risk.

Employees' Provident Fund (EPF):

EPF is a significant component of retirement savings. Ensure you and your employer continue contributing to EPF regularly.

Home Purchase Planning
Purchasing a home is a major financial goal. Since you plan to buy a home in five years, let’s ensure you accumulate enough for a substantial down payment.

Fixed Deposits (FD):

Your current FD amount is significant. While FDs are safe, the returns are relatively lower. However, they are suitable for short-term goals like a home purchase.

Debt Mutual Funds:

Invest in short-term debt mutual funds. These funds offer better returns than savings accounts and FDs and are less volatile compared to equity funds.

Recurring Deposits (RD):

Set up an RD specifically for your home purchase goal. This will help in systematically accumulating funds over the next five years.

Liquid Funds:

Consider liquid mutual funds for better liquidity and slightly higher returns than savings accounts. These funds are suitable for parking funds temporarily.

Reallocation and Optimization
To optimize your portfolio for better returns and align with your goals, consider the following reallocations:

Reduce Savings Account Holdings:

Rs 12.5 lacs in a savings account is underutilized. Transfer a portion to short-term debt funds or RDs for better returns.

Re-evaluate Fixed Deposits:

While FDs are safe, diversify into debt funds for potentially higher returns without significantly increasing risk.

Increase Equity Exposure:

Given your long-term goals, slightly increasing your equity exposure could enhance overall portfolio returns. Balance this with your risk tolerance.

Regular Monitoring and Adjustments
Investments need regular monitoring. Periodically review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals. Make adjustments based on market conditions and personal financial changes.

Tax Planning
Effective tax planning can enhance your net returns. Ensure you maximize tax-saving investments under Section 80C, 80D, and other relevant sections. Utilize the benefits of tax-efficient investment options.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This fund should be easily accessible, kept in liquid funds or a savings account. It acts as a financial safety net for unforeseen circumstances.

Insurance Planning
Adequate insurance coverage is crucial. Ensure you have sufficient life and health insurance. Avoid investment-cum-insurance plans as they often provide lower returns. Opt for term insurance and separate investments.

Final Insights
You've built a solid foundation for your financial future. With systematic planning and disciplined investing, you can achieve your goals. Regularly review your investments and adjust them as needed to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Janak

Janak Patel  |9 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 10, 2024

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I am 50 years old. For post retirement monthly income I am planning to to park 1 crore lumpsum to avail monthly SWP later. Should I park this lumpsum in one or divide 50 K each in two or three and more and then keep withdrawing 0.5 % from each as swp. Which will be a better option?
Ans: Hi Satish,

Retirement Corpus needs safety and liquidity along with growth as it has to last a long time.

As your complete requirement is not very clear I will mention some numbers to give you an idea and you can plan based on your actual requirement.
Lets say your monthly expense requirement in 50000 per month i.e. 6 lacs per year. This is an amount for the first year, but with Inflation, it will increase each year.
Depending on your risk profile, the Retirement Corpus needs to be invested after prioritizing the 3 parameters - safety, liquidity and growth.

If you have a low risk profile then invest in safe investments - either Debt funds or Fixed deposits - Risk is Inflation will eventually start reducing your corpus.

If you can handle moderate risk then divide the corpus e.g. Keep 75% in growth (with some safety) funds like the Balanced Advantage/Hybrid funds and rest 25% in safe investment such as Debt funds or Fixed deposits from which you can withdraw for monthly expenses.
In your case 25 lacs in safe investment will help manage approximately 4 years of expenses.
The remaining 75 lacs invested in Balanced Advantage funds will continue to provide growth. So if we assume it grows at 8% every year, plan to withdraw 5~8% of your fund and move it into safe investments.

This way you can plan to have approximately 4 years of expenses in safe investments and give the remaining corpus an opportunity to grow to management and stay ahead of inflation.

The above is just a simple view of looking at the Retirement corpus and managing your expenses, but beyond this there are many other aspects that needs to be considered also, such as your health related requirements, your lifestyle requirements, additional goals/responsibilities towards family and life expectancy as you plan for retirement. This will provide you a more accurate and realistic insight into the retirement plan.

Advice you to approach a Certified Financial Planner to provide a comprehensive and customized guidance/plan to you.

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |89 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Dec 10, 2024

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Career
I am Commerce graduate in which areas can I make my future what are field open for me
Ans: Dear Shree!

Commerce graduates have many career options, I am listing some of them for you-
1.Company Secretary (CS)
A program that teaches corporate governance, company law, compliance, and secretarial practices
2.Chartered Accountant (CA)
A career that involves auditing, taxation, accounting, financial planning, and consulting
2.Investment banker
A career that involves developing financial assets for customers or organizations, and obtaining finance for corporate operations, acquisitions, and mergers
3.Cost Management Accountant (CMA)
A prestigious professional credential that is considered one of the highest-paying career options for commerce students
4.Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA)
A career that involves financial analysis, variant bonds and derivatives, types of portfolios, and investment management
5.Cost accountant
A career that involves assessing cost information, making and maintaining an expenses database, managing cost information, and preparing budget reports
6.Certified Public Accountant (CPA)
A career that involves managing the accounting, reporting, taxation, and auditing processes for businesses, clients, and the government

Some more options for you..
Financial Analyst, HR Manager, Economist, Financial Planner, Actuary, Market Research Analysts, Bank PO (Probationary Officer), Tax Consultant, Teaching students

Can you see the options and the opportunities that are available for you??
You can also focus on further studies too… amassing knowledge and skills can also be your goal.Focus on acquiring wisdom, spend time and energy on worthy tasks, become mentally and physically strong!


Hope this helps… all the very best!

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1384 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Ma'am. Can you tell how can I forget my childhood memories. In my childhood everyone taunts me that I don't look like my mother. I don't look good. My mother has fair skin and I don't have fair skin like her. I have listened to this many times and from many people. So all this words is deeply rooted in my mind and I feel less confidence about myself. I am not confident in approaching someone to chat because at the back of my mind this thing's comes automatically. Due to this I have very low self-confidence. I always feel that I am not good looking. This thought automatically comes to my mind. How can I solve this. How can I increase my self-confidence about myself. Please show me ways
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
And by being fair, there's some great advantage that they all have, is it?
I know that it has been pretty unfair on you that you are not 'fair' and the obsession that some families have over skin color is pretty sickening.
Now, this part of your life is under your control. Either ruin it by bringing the past and 'color' it bad or make it 'colorful' by actually challenging what had happened to you. And how do you do that? By actually not reacting to the past labels; they were in your past. If you accept the way you look and flaunt it, then all these comparisons do not matter. But if you keep replaying the saem music from your past, this is going to continue and make it only worse.
So, accept yourself and every time you feel bad, make sure you tell yourself that your past does not define how your present is...again like any mindset change, this will take time to take effect BUT keep powering on...
Only you can be your best friend and hero, that's it...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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Radheshyam Zanwar  |1099 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 10, 2024

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1384 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
We had an Arranged Marriage, 6 Months ago with minimal period of Courtship before it. My Wife always wants to have her way with almost everything. Whenever there's any disagreement between us, she emotionally manipulates me & I give in. Sometimes, I get frustrated & argue with her. Whenever, I raise my voice at her, she gets upset. She doesn't talk to me, doesn't let me touch her, doesn't respond to any affectionate gestures like Hugs/Kisses & refuses to engage in any kind of Intimacy. Sometimes, she's in this Sulky Mood for days together & even weeks, if she wants to. For Patching up with her, I'd have to shell out a lot of Money. Her Heart melts only when I give her some Expensive Gifts or take her out & treat her lavishly, only then she would come around to make Love with me. I'd always give in to her demands as I want to lead a Peaceful Married Life with her.But now, she's got used to this Pampering & starts sulking quite often and this is draining me Mentally, Emotionally & Financially. I Love my Wife, Dearly & I'd do anything to see her Happy, but now I've begun to Doubt whether she too Loves me to the same extent or whether she's taking undue advantage of my Kind Nature. Please advise me, how to deal with her & sort out such issues, in the further course of our Married Life? I just want to lead a Happy Married Life along with my Wife & raise a Family in a Peaceful Home.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have married someone who refuses to leave her 'toddler' days behind.
She's stuck in a childish zone where she relents and gives in and patches up only when gifted something; reminds you of a toddler?
You have to break this loop that she has created perhaps without her knowledge. Healthy couples sort their differences by communicating, debating and coming to some sort of understanding. So, do not go down the path of whether she loves you or not but be aware that she is used to having her way through the loop.
It's going to start with you; the next time you face the same situation...what are you going to do differently that your wife does not act like a child? How are you going to bring it to a place where the two of you can discuss things rather than have her throw a childish tantrum like she is now?
Move in that direction from the pointers that I have given you and there's bound to be some change; but not overnight...it's going to take some time, so be patient!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |89 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Dec 10, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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