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Omkeshwar

Omkeshwar Singh  | Answer  |Ask -

Head, Rank MF - Answered on Aug 30, 2022

Mutual Fund Expert... more
Atul Question by Atul on Aug 30, 2022Hindi
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Please review my MF portfolio below & share your suggestions on making changes. Goal is to get a corpus after 10 years for Child education.

SIP:

  • Edelweiss Balanced Advantage Fund Direct-Growth - (SIP 2000)
  • Edelweiss Mid Cap Direct Plan-Growth - (SIP 2000)
  • Axis Bluechip Fund Direct Plan-Growth - (SIP 500)

Lump sum:

Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund Direct - Growth - (One time 5000)

Ans: Both modes SIP and Lumpsum are in good schemes

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8230 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

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I’m investing in following MF’s 1. Axis Focused 25 Fund – 5000 /months and 10% yearly Step up 2. Axis Long Term Equity Fund – 5000/ month and 10% yearly Step up 3. Axis Small Cap Fund – 5000/ month and 10% yearly Step up 4. Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund – 2500/ month 5. Mirae Asset Mid Cap Fund – 5000/ month and 10% yearly step up 6. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund – 5000/ month My investment horizon is 15 years , moderately high risk appetite with focus on maximum Corpus Build. Kindly advice if my portfolio needs any change ? Thanks.
Ans: You've built a diversified mutual fund portfolio with a focus on different market caps and investment styles, which is commendable. Given your investment horizon of 15 years and a moderately high-risk appetite aiming for maximum corpus build, let's evaluate your portfolio.

Portfolio Overview:

Focused Equity Funds:
Axis Focused 25 Fund: Concentrates on a limited number of stocks.
Axis Long Term Equity Fund: Focuses on tax-saving with a lock-in period.
Small & Mid Cap Funds:
Axis Small Cap Fund, Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund, Mirae Asset Mid Cap Fund: These funds invest in smaller to mid-sized companies with higher growth potential but also higher volatility.
Flexi Cap Fund:
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Offers flexibility to invest across market caps, sectors, and themes.
Analysis and Recommendations:

Diversification:
Your portfolio is well-diversified across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap segments, which is good for long-term growth.
Concentration Risk:
Having multiple funds managed by the same fund house (Axis and Mirae Asset) can lead to concentration risk. Consider diversifying across fund houses to reduce dependency on a single fund manager's strategy and performance.
Focused Funds:
Both Axis Focused 25 Fund and Axis Long Term Equity Fund focus on a limited number of stocks. While they can offer higher returns, they can also be riskier due to concentration.
Step-Up SIPs:
Your strategy of increasing SIP amounts by 10% annually is excellent for leveraging the power of compounding and adjusting for inflation.
Recommendations:

Consolidation:
Consider consolidating your investments by reducing the number of funds and ensuring each fund adds unique value to your portfolio. This can simplify monitoring and reduce overlap.
Add a Debt Component:
Given your moderately high-risk appetite, consider adding a debt component to balance the portfolio and provide stability during market downturns. A Hybrid Equity Fund or a Dynamic Asset Allocation Fund can be suitable.
Review Tax Implications:
As Axis Long Term Equity Fund is a tax-saving fund (ELSS), ensure you're aware of the lock-in period and its implications on liquidity.
Regular Review with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP):
Given your specific goals and risk appetite, it's crucial to review your portfolio periodically with a CFP. They can provide personalized advice, monitor performance, and suggest necessary adjustments based on changing market conditions and your financial goals.
Conclusion:

Your current portfolio aligns well with your long-term investment horizon and risk appetite. However, consider consolidating and diversifying across fund houses to reduce concentration risk and add a debt component for balance. Regular reviews with a CFP can ensure your portfolio remains aligned with your financial goals and market dynamics. Always remember, a well-diversified portfolio tailored to your risk profile and goals can help you navigate the market's ups and downs, aiming for long-term wealth creation.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8230 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2023Hindi
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Hello Learned Experts, I am a new MF investor; I would like to build a corpus of 2 Crores in the next 5 Yrs. I am currently investing 45000/- through monthly SIPs (open to double this contribution). I solicit your feedback, advice & recommendations to add/change this portfolio towards my goal. Axis Midcap Fund-Reg(G) 4,500 Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip-Reg(G) 2,500 Nippon India Small Cap Fund(G) 4,500 PGIM India Midcap Opp Fund-Reg(G) 4,500 Aditya Birla SL Flexi Cap Fund(G) 4,500 Aditya Birla SL India GenNext Fund(G) 4,500 ICICI Pru Bluechip Fund(G) 4,500 ICICI Pru Value Discovery Fund(G) 4,500 Kotak Equity Opp Fund(G) 4,500 Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund-Reg(G) 4,500 Thanks, and regards, Arun
Ans: Building a Corpus for Your Dreams: Feedback on your SIP Portfolio
Hi Arun,

I appreciate you reaching out! It's fantastic that you're a new investor starting your journey towards a Rs. 2 crore corpus in five years. That's a commendable goal, and SIPs are a smart way to get there. Let's dive into your current portfolio and see how we can fine-tune it for your needs.

Current Portfolio Analysis:

Diversification: You've chosen a mix of funds across different market capitalizations (Large, Mid, and Small Cap). This is a good starting point for diversification, but ten funds might be a bit too many to manage effectively.

Fund Overlap: There might be some overlap between these funds in terms of the stocks they invest in. This can dilute the diversification benefit.

Risk and Your Time Horizon: Five years is a relatively short time frame for aggressive investment strategies. Some of these funds might carry higher risk.

Here are some suggestions to consider:

Reduce the number of funds: Aim for 4-5 well-diversified funds across market capitalizations. This simplifies tracking and rebalancing.

Focus on Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed funds, where experienced fund managers make investment decisions, can potentially outperform the market over time. Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to help you choose these funds.

Regular vs. Direct Plans: Regular plans with an advisor can provide valuable guidance, especially for new investors. They can help you choose funds, understand your risk profile, and stay on track with your goals. While direct plans offer a lower expense ratio, the advisor's role can be crucial in your investment journey.

Considering your goal and risk tolerance, a possible approach could be:

2 Large-Cap Funds: These provide stability and good growth potential.

1 Mid-Cap Fund: Offers the chance for higher returns but with more volatility.

1 Flexi-Cap Fund: Gives the fund manager the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations based on market conditions.

Remember, this is a general guideline. Consulting a CFP can help you create a personalized portfolio based on your specific risk appetite and financial goals.

Taking it Forward:

Review Regularly: Meet with your CFP periodically to review your portfolio and adjust it as needed based on market conditions and your life goals.

Increase SIPs if Possible: If your income allows, consider gradually increasing your SIP amount to reach your target corpus faster.

Stay Disciplined: Market fluctuations are normal. Don't panic and redeem your investments during downturns. Stay focused on your long-term goals.

Building a Rs. 2 crore corpus in five years is ambitious, but with a well-diversified portfolio, regular investments, and professional guidance, you can increase your chances of success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8230 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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Hi sir, I'm 25y old. I've started investing on May 2022 in mutual funds through SIP for long term 25-30years. Right now I've 45k of invested amount in MF Portfolio. I've emergency fund in FD of 60k and I've health and term insurance for me and family. My MF portfolio: Parag Parikh flexi cap - 2.5k Nippon small cap - 2k Axis bluechip - 1k Navi nifty50 index fund -500 And I'm planning to add zerodha largemidcap 250 index fund. Can you please review my portfolio and any suggestions on changes?
Ans: You've made a solid start by investing in mutual funds through SIPs at a young age with a long-term horizon. Your financial planning approach, including having an emergency fund and insurance coverage, is commendable. Let's review your MF portfolio:

Diversification: Your portfolio consists of flexi cap, small cap, bluechip, and index funds, providing a good mix across market caps and investment styles.
Flexi Cap: Parag Parikh flexi cap fund offers flexibility across market caps and geographies, suitable for long-term growth.
Small Cap: Nippon small cap fund provides exposure to smaller companies with high growth potential, though small caps can be more volatile.
Large Cap: Axis bluechip and Navi nifty50 index fund focus on established large-cap companies, offering stability and growth potential.
Index Fund: Zerodha largemidcap 250 index fund aims to replicate the performance of the top 250 companies by market cap, providing diversification across large and mid-cap segments.
Suggestions:

Continue SIPs: Continue with your SIPs to benefit from rupee cost averaging and the power of compounding over the long term.
Review and Rebalance: Periodically review your portfolio to rebalance if any fund deviates significantly from its intended allocation.
Asset Allocation: As you add more funds, consider maintaining a balanced asset allocation based on your risk tolerance. Ensure you're not overly concentrated in one segment.
Monitor Performance: Keep an eye on the performance of your funds. If any fund consistently underperforms its benchmark or peers, consider re-evaluating its place in your portfolio.
Emergency Fund: Ensure your emergency fund remains intact and consider increasing it over time to cover 3-6 months of living expenses.
Professional Advice: Given your long-term investment horizon, consider consulting a certified financial planner to fine-tune your investment strategy, align it with your goals, and ensure optimal diversification.
Overall, your portfolio is off to a good start. With disciplined investing and periodic reviews, you're on track for long-term wealth creation. Keep up the good work!

..Read more

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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |30 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2025
Relationship
I don't get along with my husband and in-laws. I am living with him only for the sake of my 5 year old son. I broke up with my ex to marry this man to keep my parents happy. However, he is not at all an ideal partner for me. He abuses me all the time and takes me for granted. He doesn't allow me to step out, or meet my friends and family. I have to wait for him to go to work, so I can call anyone. His family keeps a close watch on what I do and informs him if I step out to even meet my family or relatives. We fight and argue almost every day. I have told him that I want a divorce but he said No, I have to adjust and accept. I am a graduate but I don't have a job. It is frustrating when he doesn't let me do anything on my own. I blocked my ex when our marriage got fixed but he is always suspicious. Sometimes I feel like hitting him back to stop the torture. I want to go back home but my parents are financially dependent on my brother, so they want me to reconcile and find a way to sort things out with my husband. Recently I learned that my ex is still waiting for me but I can't stay with him legally till I am divorced. How do I explain all this to my son? I am unhappy and confused. What should I do?
Ans: Hello Mam, I understand that you are in a dilemma. The situation is like this. Either ways the situation will have its negative effect on your son. If possible take some time out from your family and spend some quality time with your husband. Clear negative thoughts from your mind regarding your husband and try to accept him. If you will think positive about your family it will reflect in your actions and then things will be sorted out. But one thing to be kept in mind that you should not tolerate physical abuse. Involve your parents in this and try to convince him to behave nicely with you. U can always start something online for your financial independence. Try this out. Take care ????
Reach me : https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |577 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 18, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I'm in a relationship since 7 years .we both are Hindus bt our castes differ...i belong to higher caste and he belongs to a lower caste which is definitely going to be a problem because I have a elder brother his marriage was also love marriage and his wife's caste also was bit lower to ours so I have seen lot of issues at home of father not getting convinced at all.... Now after thinking about everything I'm in a state of confusion if whether I was wrong about loving somebody without their knowledge since already elder brothers issues I had seen should I have thought about all this seriously before ? Parents won't be expecting sucha thing from me because I seem kinder and understandable than my brother....last year I did let this out to my mother that i like someone and all the details....bt she started with emotional drama like this wasn't expected from you though you wld have understood the issues from brothers marriage etc etc. she tried to approach me in a different way....like being nice and to withdraw frm this decision and to take a good ....my dad still don't know abt this... actually my mom was about to say bt she thought of giving me time and assumes eventually I'll take better decision for them ...there was so much of drama and hence aftr that wasn't being able to discuss abt his.... because im in a stage of job hunting if I let this out to father i won't be able to sit at home....I'm actually really very confused and now what to do....am i wrong here...my situation and my brothers situation is different know....just because I saw brother wedding issue....how long i wld have sat without being in a relationship... especially in this generation....this was something that happened by itself inspite of me not being oke to say yes to my partner later it became yes..it was all meant to be.... because he isn't my classmate or anything my classmates family friend and is elder to me....so i believe it was to happen....I want to actually arive in a perfect and or place....not being able to take proper decision....since I always consider myself unlucky ok scared to take any decision also....and also now wondering what all shld be the qualities i must look for before taking decision about my life partner....should it be looks ...family or caste.... economic class status etc.....please help... messed up. Current update : I have attended a interview...and results are still on processing stage but I am sure even if it's taking time I will get it because my interview feedback given was excellent just that since it's a MNC they are waiting for a position in a particular department I think hence delay , meanwhile since I'm 26 and me and my partner has a age difference of 6 years situations have become difficult. His parents pressures him for marriage and to see girls . But since he is in love with me he wants to wait ... because the pressure was increasing I had to tell my mother once again after one year and she was shocked again she thought I left this in this gap.... however I had taken this time for a better decision and time alloted for finding job , there began emotional drama again ..then I had to tell her to jst let my father know about this and if he asks me I will explain it. She was also worried because dad hasn't come out of all the traumas he had out of my brother's marriage because girl was from different caste. So my father had to answer a lot of questions from his siblings and society etc . My mother anyway agreed to talk to dad...she told the matter ...again house atmosphere changed entirely. I waited until dad asked me about this...waited for two days then he approached me and called and spoke asked about each and every details and then finally said like see him as a friend and take a better decision and he left just like that. After that I spoke to my mother , she said some concerns like looks mattered , caste was the main so that's why he is not being able to say anything and no parents would in the beginning itself talk positive about this ...will show resistance...that day I felt bit ok later after talking to mom , but later one day his father called my father and spoke they initiated they had a friendly talk and my father said he needs time and can't say anything now to his father. But I was thinking that he dint give a no reply straight away which was very surprising . But , after this situation my father saved this fathers number ...one day what happened was , he saw a status put by his father in which there was his parents with few other group people who weren't so good looking...so mistook it as their relatives and told mother to speak to me because this he can't even digest me to send to such a family since as a girls parent he has certain expectations also because his main issue is caste problem hevis finding one problem behind the other . My boyfriend belongs to a Tamil caste and mine is malayali native hence my boyfriend has a dark complexion maybe his parents and family too...but should all these matter to take a terrible final decision regarding our marriage? Even tho their complexion was dark Can't they have a good heart and shouldn't character be given priority than looks ? Just because parents want to show the society...how can i toss my life and find another person as they are saying? Do all that matter ?? I want to know your thoughts ... Also , how to convince a father who sticks on his own beliefs or who doesn't want to listen to their children because he thinks we haven't grown enough to teach him please suggest a way to make a person to listen ? My mother seems ok to this even she doesn't like so much ... bt only if father is ok and doesn't pass on this pressure to others... If any doubt can ask me I will clarify
Ans: First, you are not wrong for falling in love. Love doesn’t ask for caste, status, or complexion—it simply grows where there’s connection, care, and shared values. The world around us, especially family and society, can be heavily opinionated, but that doesn’t mean your feelings are any less valid. You've been trying to balance respect for your parents with loyalty to your partner, and that's not easy at all.

Your dad's resistance is clearly rooted in fear—fear of what society will say, fear of repeating a past that felt traumatic for him during your brother's marriage. His concern isn't necessarily about your partner’s character, but about how it looks to others. Unfortunately, a lot of our parents were raised to give more weight to "what people will say" than to personal happiness. It’s not your fault he carries that burden. You’re just trying to live a life that’s true to your heart.

Your boyfriend seems like someone who really cares about you and is ready to wait for you through all this. That's rare, and it matters. If his family was kind enough to approach yours respectfully, it shows they are willing to build a bridge. You’re not trying to force anything—you’re asking for space to make a decision with both head and heart involved.

As for appearance and caste: no, these should not be what define a life partner. A dark complexion or a different community cannot and should not outweigh honesty, kindness, emotional maturity, and shared values. Looks fade. Status changes. But someone’s nature stays. And in a marriage, when times are tough, it’s not the family’s last name or the shade of their skin that matters—it’s whether they stand by you or not.

You mentioned something powerful: that you believe this was “meant to happen.” And I agree—sometimes people enter our lives with a timing and connection that doesn’t make logical sense but feels profoundly right. That’s not something to toss aside easily.

Now, about convincing your father—it’s hard to change someone who is set in their ways, but here’s what you can try:

Let your mother be the mediator since she’s more open. Ask her to have slow, non-threatening conversations with him—not to pressure him, but just to help him understand that you are not making a hasty or rebellious choice. You’re thinking practically and from the heart. It’s not about rejecting their values but about choosing someone you can build a peaceful, respectful life with.

You could also write a heartfelt letter to your dad—sometimes, parents understand better when there’s no direct confrontation. Share your side, your fears, your respect for him, and your reasons for choosing this person. Let him know you still want to be his daughter, that you haven’t forgotten your family’s worth—you’re just hoping your happiness can also be valued.

Most importantly—give yourself credit for how well you’ve handled this. You’ve shown maturity, patience, and self-awareness. Even when it hurts, you’re not reacting with drama or impulse—you’re processing, reflecting, and trying to do the right thing.


And please don’t let anyone make you feel like your love is a mistake. You’ve loved with honesty and stood strong—no matter what comes next, that’s something to be proud of. I’m here to walk with you through this, one step at a time.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |577 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 07, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My partner and I have a problem. Whenever we argue, I feel the need to talk it through immediately, but my partner shuts down completely and goes silent for hours, sometimes days. It leaves me feeling anxious and ignored. How do I deal with this without feeling like I am the only one trying?
Ans: Have a calm, non-conflict conversation about the issue outside of a fight. Explain to your partner how their silence affects you—not by blaming, but by expressing how it makes you feel. For example, “When we argue and you go silent, I feel anxious and alone. It makes me feel like I’m the only one trying, even though I know that might not be true.” Keep it about your feelings, not their faults.

Ask them what they feel in those moments—do they need space to think? Do they feel overwhelmed? Are they afraid things will escalate? Try to genuinely understand their side too.

Together, you can come up with a “pause plan”—a middle ground. Maybe your partner can say something like, “I need an hour to clear my head, but I promise we’ll talk after that.” That way, you get the reassurance that the issue won’t be ignored forever, and they get the breathing room they need.

Also, remind yourselves that you’re on the same team. The goal isn’t to win the argument—it’s to understand each other better and reconnect.

You’re not the only one trying—it just feels that way because your emotional needs are different. With communication, empathy, and small agreements about how to handle conflict, this doesn’t have to stay a painful pattern. You're already doing the brave thing by reflecting and wanting to improve this—see if you can invite your partner into that same space of honesty and growth.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |577 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 14, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My mother doesn't want to stay with me but she gladly stays with my brother and his wife I live all alone in a house and I feel left out as well as ostracised as well as excluded I feel like I am unwanted person and if I ever meet anyone like my relatives in any social setting I feel they are tolerating me I feel like an untouchable how do I cope up with this situation as there is no one for me no one I can rely on or nobody who has my back noone who I can share my problems with or call in case I feel sick or in case of an emergency.
Ans: Feeling excluded by family and sensing that others are merely "tolerating" you is a heavy emotional burden to carry. It can quietly erode your sense of self-worth, leaving you questioning your value, your place in the world, and your importance to the people who were meant to be your first support system. You're not being overly sensitive or dramatic—this kind of emotional isolation is deeply painful, and it makes perfect sense that you’re feeling untouchable and unsafe.

But here’s a gentle truth: you are not unwanted. You are not unworthy of love or care. The way others treat you does not define your worth. Sometimes, unfortunately, people—even family—fail to show up for us in the ways we need. That doesn’t mean you are broken or undeserving. It just means their limitations are getting in the way of what should have been a loving, supportive connection.

You’re already doing something powerful by voicing your truth here. That’s not a small step—it’s an act of bravery. And while I know I’m not physically there beside you, I want you to feel this as a moment of connection: someone does hear you, someone does see what you’re carrying, and it matters.

To cope with this, start with your emotional safety. Let yourself grieve—not just for the loneliness, but for the longing of what you deserve but haven’t received. Cry if you need to, write if it helps, let those feelings have their space rather than trying to bury them. This kind of pain doesn’t go away by pretending it’s not there.

And slowly, one step at a time, begin building your circle—not necessarily with blood ties, but with people who choose you. Is there someone in your past who was kind to you? A coworker, a neighbor, someone from college or a class you took? Even a single shared conversation can be a seed. It’s not about quantity, it’s about presence. The goal isn't to replace what’s missing—but to slowly start nurturing connections that are rooted in respect and care.

In moments of emergency or fear, consider having a plan. Even having the number of a nearby clinic, a trusted neighbor, or a local community support group can give you a thread of reassurance. And if you ever feel overwhelmed or unsafe with your thoughts, reaching out to a mental health helpline or counselor can make a real difference. You deserve help when you're hurting.

And here, whenever you need someone to talk to, I will always be here to listen—no judgment, no conditions. You matter. Your story matters. And even though the world may have made you feel like an outsider, I want you to believe this: there is a space where you belong.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |577 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Maam I see a guy always staring at me. I wanted to ask him publically about this staring things. But instead of doing so I felt more comfortable in messaging and asking about the same. Once I checked his profile on Truecaller bcz we are in same society group. I was curious to know about his weird behaviour. He even give me intense states. I do not understand what he is upto. I feel like being stalked sometimes. So i got his number from society group. I texted him to clarify bt his wife called me and abused me badly. She thinks am trying to have an affair with her husband. I am flirting with him. My texts were plain and casual. I don't know how to make her understand that the guy himself is stalking us. I have seen him many times. I don't know whether m only victim or he persuade other woman too. I just don't know. We come at different time slots for our child to play in society play area bt he also manages to come to the time in which m coming. I find all these things unsettling. I told his wife that the man is making me feel uncomfortable but she was not listening to me. She wants prove. I told her that her husband was trying to approach and give advice related to parenting even when I don't know him personally. We are just flatmates nothing more than that. He lives in the flat in front of mine so i feel he is watching from there. I don't know his real intentions till date. On being asked on what's app why he stare at me. He told me that he has the habit of looking in one direction. N apologise for the same. But my husband confronted him and asked him about the same thing to which he told my husband that am characterless woman and i text him bcz i am not happy with my husband. Can u please help me to understand why is he talking shit about me when I have sent him a plain text to clarify the matter
Ans: What you’re going through is unfortunately not uncommon. A man invades your personal space with repeated staring, gives unsolicited advice, possibly stalks you, and when you attempt to address it with dignity and clarity, he twists the narrative and plays the victim. This reversal—where the actual victim is painted as the aggressor—is a classic defensive tactic by people who know they’ve crossed boundaries and don’t want to be held accountable. His reaction to your message shows his true character. Instead of acknowledging your discomfort and stopping, he projected shame onto you and tried to protect himself by degrading you in front of your husband.

His wife’s reaction, though painful, also makes a certain kind of sad sense—when a woman is scared, shocked, or insecure about her relationship, she may lash out at another woman instead of confronting the man who is actually responsible. That doesn’t make her behavior right, but it helps to understand it. She’s probably reacting from a place of fear, denial, and misplaced anger. You don’t need to justify yourself to her anymore. You tried your best to explain, and the fact that she wasn’t ready to listen shows her unwillingness or inability to see the truth right now.

You’ve done everything someone should do—tried to clarify respectfully, confronted the issue through proper channels, and included your husband. Now, your emotional safety, your dignity, and your peace of mind matter the most.

This man is clearly uncomfortable with accountability, and now he's trying to flip the story to discredit you. Let him. You do not owe him any further energy or explanation. Instead, stay calm, document everything (dates, messages, incidents), and if the staring or stalking continues, consider speaking to the society committee or, if necessary, legal authorities. Not to create conflict, but to protect your space and your truth. If it escalates or becomes more distressing, don’t hesitate to report it formally.

Most importantly, remind yourself—you acted out of strength, not shame. You stood up for yourself when something didn’t feel right. That is powerful. Hold your ground with dignity. You’re not alone in this. I’m here if you want help drafting a response, navigating this socially, or just to talk when things feel too heavy.

You deserve to feel safe and respected in your own home and neighborhood. Don’t let anyone steal that sense of peace from you.

...Read more

Pushpa

Pushpa R  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Apr 14, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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