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Omkeshwar Singh | Answer |Ask -Follow

Head, Rank MF - Answered on Aug 30, 2022

Mutual Fund Expert... more

Question by Atul on Aug 30, 2022Hindi

Money

Please review my MF portfolio below & share your suggestions on making changes. Goal is to get a corpus after 10 years for Child education.

SIP:

Edelweiss Balanced Advantage Fund Direct-Growth - (SIP 2000)

Edelweiss Mid Cap Direct Plan-Growth - (SIP 2000)

Axis Bluechip Fund Direct Plan-Growth - (SIP 500)

Lump sum:

Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund Direct - Growth - (One time 5000)

Ans: Both modes SIP and Lumpsum are in good schemes

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |7510 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Question by Anuj - Mar 14, 2023Hindi

Money

I’m investing in following MF’s 1. Axis Focused 25 Fund – 5000 /months and 10% yearly Step up 2. Axis Long Term Equity Fund – 5000/ month and 10% yearly Step up 3. Axis Small Cap Fund – 5000/ month and 10% yearly Step up 4. Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund – 2500/ month 5. Mirae Asset Mid Cap Fund – 5000/ month and 10% yearly step up 6. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund – 5000/ month My investment horizon is 15 years , moderately high risk appetite with focus on maximum Corpus Build. Kindly advice if my portfolio needs any change ? Thanks.

Ans: You've built a diversified mutual fund portfolio with a focus on different market caps and investment styles, which is commendable. Given your investment horizon of 15 years and a moderately high-risk appetite aiming for maximum corpus build, let's evaluate your portfolio.

Portfolio Overview:

Focused Equity Funds:
Axis Focused 25 Fund: Concentrates on a limited number of stocks.
Axis Long Term Equity Fund: Focuses on tax-saving with a lock-in period.
Small & Mid Cap Funds:
Axis Small Cap Fund, Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund, Mirae Asset Mid Cap Fund: These funds invest in smaller to mid-sized companies with higher growth potential but also higher volatility.
Flexi Cap Fund:
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Offers flexibility to invest across market caps, sectors, and themes.
Analysis and Recommendations:

Diversification:
Your portfolio is well-diversified across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap segments, which is good for long-term growth.
Concentration Risk:
Having multiple funds managed by the same fund house (Axis and Mirae Asset) can lead to concentration risk. Consider diversifying across fund houses to reduce dependency on a single fund manager's strategy and performance.
Focused Funds:
Both Axis Focused 25 Fund and Axis Long Term Equity Fund focus on a limited number of stocks. While they can offer higher returns, they can also be riskier due to concentration.
Step-Up SIPs:
Your strategy of increasing SIP amounts by 10% annually is excellent for leveraging the power of compounding and adjusting for inflation.
Recommendations:

Consolidation:
Consider consolidating your investments by reducing the number of funds and ensuring each fund adds unique value to your portfolio. This can simplify monitoring and reduce overlap.
Add a Debt Component:
Given your moderately high-risk appetite, consider adding a debt component to balance the portfolio and provide stability during market downturns. A Hybrid Equity Fund or a Dynamic Asset Allocation Fund can be suitable.
Review Tax Implications:
As Axis Long Term Equity Fund is a tax-saving fund (ELSS), ensure you're aware of the lock-in period and its implications on liquidity.
Regular Review with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP):
Given your specific goals and risk appetite, it's crucial to review your portfolio periodically with a CFP. They can provide personalized advice, monitor performance, and suggest necessary adjustments based on changing market conditions and your financial goals.
Conclusion:

Your current portfolio aligns well with your long-term investment horizon and risk appetite. However, consider consolidating and diversifying across fund houses to reduce concentration risk and add a debt component for balance. Regular reviews with a CFP can ensure your portfolio remains aligned with your financial goals and market dynamics. Always remember, a well-diversified portfolio tailored to your risk profile and goals can help you navigate the market's ups and downs, aiming for long-term wealth creation.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7510 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2023Hindi

Money

Hello Learned Experts, I am a new MF investor; I would like to build a corpus of 2 Crores in the next 5 Yrs. I am currently investing 45000/- through monthly SIPs (open to double this contribution). I solicit your feedback, advice & recommendations to add/change this portfolio towards my goal. Axis Midcap Fund-Reg(G) 4,500 Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip-Reg(G) 2,500 Nippon India Small Cap Fund(G) 4,500 PGIM India Midcap Opp Fund-Reg(G) 4,500 Aditya Birla SL Flexi Cap Fund(G) 4,500 Aditya Birla SL India GenNext Fund(G) 4,500 ICICI Pru Bluechip Fund(G) 4,500 ICICI Pru Value Discovery Fund(G) 4,500 Kotak Equity Opp Fund(G) 4,500 Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund-Reg(G) 4,500 Thanks, and regards, Arun

Ans: Building a Corpus for Your Dreams: Feedback on your SIP Portfolio
Hi Arun,

I appreciate you reaching out! It's fantastic that you're a new investor starting your journey towards a Rs. 2 crore corpus in five years. That's a commendable goal, and SIPs are a smart way to get there. Let's dive into your current portfolio and see how we can fine-tune it for your needs.

Current Portfolio Analysis:

Diversification: You've chosen a mix of funds across different market capitalizations (Large, Mid, and Small Cap). This is a good starting point for diversification, but ten funds might be a bit too many to manage effectively.

Fund Overlap: There might be some overlap between these funds in terms of the stocks they invest in. This can dilute the diversification benefit.

Risk and Your Time Horizon: Five years is a relatively short time frame for aggressive investment strategies. Some of these funds might carry higher risk.

Here are some suggestions to consider:

Reduce the number of funds: Aim for 4-5 well-diversified funds across market capitalizations. This simplifies tracking and rebalancing.

Focus on Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed funds, where experienced fund managers make investment decisions, can potentially outperform the market over time. Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to help you choose these funds.

Regular vs. Direct Plans: Regular plans with an advisor can provide valuable guidance, especially for new investors. They can help you choose funds, understand your risk profile, and stay on track with your goals. While direct plans offer a lower expense ratio, the advisor's role can be crucial in your investment journey.

Considering your goal and risk tolerance, a possible approach could be:

2 Large-Cap Funds: These provide stability and good growth potential.

1 Mid-Cap Fund: Offers the chance for higher returns but with more volatility.

1 Flexi-Cap Fund: Gives the fund manager the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations based on market conditions.

Remember, this is a general guideline. Consulting a CFP can help you create a personalized portfolio based on your specific risk appetite and financial goals.

Taking it Forward:

Review Regularly: Meet with your CFP periodically to review your portfolio and adjust it as needed based on market conditions and your life goals.

Increase SIPs if Possible: If your income allows, consider gradually increasing your SIP amount to reach your target corpus faster.

Stay Disciplined: Market fluctuations are normal. Don't panic and redeem your investments during downturns. Stay focused on your long-term goals.

Building a Rs. 2 crore corpus in five years is ambitious, but with a well-diversified portfolio, regular investments, and professional guidance, you can increase your chances of success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7510 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi sir, I'm 25y old. I've started investing on May 2022 in mutual funds through SIP for long term 25-30years. Right now I've 45k of invested amount in MF Portfolio. I've emergency fund in FD of 60k and I've health and term insurance for me and family. My MF portfolio: Parag Parikh flexi cap - 2.5k Nippon small cap - 2k Axis bluechip - 1k Navi nifty50 index fund -500 And I'm planning to add zerodha largemidcap 250 index fund. Can you please review my portfolio and any suggestions on changes?

Ans: You've made a solid start by investing in mutual funds through SIPs at a young age with a long-term horizon. Your financial planning approach, including having an emergency fund and insurance coverage, is commendable. Let's review your MF portfolio:

Diversification: Your portfolio consists of flexi cap, small cap, bluechip, and index funds, providing a good mix across market caps and investment styles.
Flexi Cap: Parag Parikh flexi cap fund offers flexibility across market caps and geographies, suitable for long-term growth.
Small Cap: Nippon small cap fund provides exposure to smaller companies with high growth potential, though small caps can be more volatile.
Large Cap: Axis bluechip and Navi nifty50 index fund focus on established large-cap companies, offering stability and growth potential.
Index Fund: Zerodha largemidcap 250 index fund aims to replicate the performance of the top 250 companies by market cap, providing diversification across large and mid-cap segments.
Suggestions:

Continue SIPs: Continue with your SIPs to benefit from rupee cost averaging and the power of compounding over the long term.
Review and Rebalance: Periodically review your portfolio to rebalance if any fund deviates significantly from its intended allocation.
Asset Allocation: As you add more funds, consider maintaining a balanced asset allocation based on your risk tolerance. Ensure you're not overly concentrated in one segment.
Monitor Performance: Keep an eye on the performance of your funds. If any fund consistently underperforms its benchmark or peers, consider re-evaluating its place in your portfolio.
Emergency Fund: Ensure your emergency fund remains intact and consider increasing it over time to cover 3-6 months of living expenses.
Professional Advice: Given your long-term investment horizon, consider consulting a certified financial planner to fine-tune your investment strategy, align it with your goals, and ensure optimal diversification.
Overall, your portfolio is off to a good start. With disciplined investing and periodic reviews, you're on track for long-term wealth creation. Keep up the good work!

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi

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This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?

Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Nayagam P P |4047 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi

Career

Mr Nayagam, how to check All India Bar Exam (AIBE) result?

Ans: Please visit All India Bar Examination Website and check your result by logging into it with your Roll Number & DOB. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Kanchan Rai |492 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi

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How to manage stress?

Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Dear Counselor, My husband and I have been together for 11 years, with 10 years of dating and 1 year of marriage. Unfortunately, our relationship has been strained over the past year due to financial disagreements. Before marriage, we discussed his personal loan, which was taken for a land purchase for his mother. The loan repayment amounts to 30% of his salary. He assured me that, except for this loan repayment, he would not contribute financially to his parents' expenses until the loan was paid off. However, his parents are now pressuring him to increase his financial support by 20%. They claim to need help clearing their debts, despite being below 45, physically fit, and earning a sufficient income to support themselves. This situation is causing tension in our marriage, as we had planned to save and invest together, having no property or financial security of our own. I'm finding it challenging to understand why my husband is not prioritizing our financial goals and future together. please help me on this. Thank you for your time and guidance.

Ans: The key here is to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Your husband likely feels a strong sense of duty towards his parents, which is understandable given cultural and familial expectations. However, it’s also important for him to recognize the commitments and plans you’ve both made as a couple. Balancing these two responsibilities can be difficult, but it’s essential for the health of your relationship.

Start by having a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how the situation affects both of you and your shared goals. It’s important that he understands your perspective and how the financial strain is impacting not only your plans but also your emotional well-being.

Encourage him to discuss his feelings and the pressure he’s experiencing from his parents. Sometimes, partners may feel caught between their familial obligations and their commitments to their spouse, leading to stress and internal conflict. Understanding his point of view can help you find common ground.

You might also explore practical solutions together, such as setting clear boundaries on financial support or finding a compromise that allows both your goals and his familial obligations to be met to some extent. This could involve budgeting, setting financial priorities, or seeking financial counseling to help manage the situation more effectively.

Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance that respects both of your needs and ensures that your marriage remains a priority. By working together and communicating openly, you can navigate this challenge and strengthen your relationship.

Kanchan Rai |492 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you

Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.

Nayagam P P |4047 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir, is it difficult to crack the All India Bar Exam? My son is in class 11 arts. He is interested in law and wants to work in the public sector. What is the eligibility for AIBE? Does it happen twice a year? What are some of the entrance exams he should be preparing for?

Ans: The All India Bar Examination (AIBE) is a compulsory (moderate difficulty) test for law graduates to obtain the Certificate of Practice (COP) required to practice law in India. It is conducted twice a year by the Bar Council of India and focuses on core law subjects like Constitutional Law, IPC, CPC, CrPC, and professional ethics. Key law entrance exams include the Common Law Admission Test (CLAT), All India Law Entrance Test (AILET), LSAT India, and Symbiosis Law Admission Test (SLAT). Preparation for AIBE involves practicing current affairs, participating in debates, MUNs, and public speaking, and considering coaching for CLAT in Class 12. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future. Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on ' Careers | Health | Money | Relationship'. All The Best for Your Son's Prosperous Future. Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on ' Careers | Health | Money | Relationship'.

Kanchan Rai |492 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi

Relationship

My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?

Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

Kanchan Rai |492 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi

Relationship

I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide

Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

Kanchan Rai |492 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Question by Dinesh - Oct 09, 2024Hindi

Relationship

My age is 48 years and i have one son aged 17 years and i am single son of my parents ,one and half year back my wife expired and upon insisted by my parents and close relatives i got remarried and she has one girl aged 8 years, after passing of six months she has started showing her true colors and it has become very difficult for me to continue and i want to get rid of this . Please guide me what should i do now.

Ans: Dear Dinesh,
it’s important to reflect on what is making the relationship difficult. Understanding the specific issues—whether they stem from differences in values, communication problems, or other conflicts—can provide clarity on how to move forward.

If you haven't already, consider having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing issues directly can lead to resolutions or at least a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Counseling, either individually or as a couple, can also be a valuable tool in navigating these challenges and deciding the best course of action.

However, if you’ve already tried addressing these issues and find that the relationship is still untenable, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. It’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being, as well as that of your son and stepdaughter. Divorce is never an easy decision, especially when children are involved, but staying in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship can have long-term negative impacts on everyone.

As you contemplate your next steps, it’s also important to lean on your support system. Friends, family, or a counselor can provide guidance and help you navigate this difficult period. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only crucial for you but also for your children, as they look to you for stability and emotional guidance. Making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved is ultimately the most important goal.

Kanchan Rai |492 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024

Relationship

Hello mam.I know a girl since college days.She is married to a guy since last 15 years.Since last 3 years we had an affair.I did take her for granted after our 2 nd half 3 years of relationship.Since a year now she has been giving me some or the other reason such as she is not getting feeling for me,husband is taking much care now so cant handle our relationship,then she told she has some health issue and now recently she tells me she has been telling me indirectly since a year to move on as she was in a relationship with some guy whom she got attracted in a mutual connection.But now she has discontinued with him as well. We do chat on message and call sometime but now since a year she herself has stopped calling or messaging.She replies only when i message or call. I want her back in my life and improve my relationship with her.Please guide me to get her back and have a relationship with her as we had till last year.What steps should I take to win her heart back and make her mine?

Ans: The first step is to acknowledge and respect her current feelings and boundaries. It’s clear she’s navigating her own emotional journey and trying to find clarity in her life. Pressuring her or trying to win her back without considering her current stance may push her further away.

Instead, focus on open and honest communication. If you genuinely care for her, it’s important to express your feelings without being demanding. Share how you feel, but also be willing to listen to her perspective fully. Understand that love and relationships are mutual, and both parties need to feel connected and invested.

During this time, it’s also essential to reflect on your own needs and emotional well-being. Ask yourself if this relationship, as it currently stands, is fulfilling and healthy for you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes stepping back to allow both people space to understand their feelings can lead to a clearer path forward, whether that’s together or apart.

Ultimately, your focus should be on building healthy, honest connections and prioritizing emotional well-being for both yourself and the people involved. If there’s a possibility of rekindling the relationship, it will come from mutual understanding, respect, and willingness from both sides.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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