Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 13, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
Money

Greetings I am retiring in April 2027. I may get a retirement corpus of around 2Cr. I have FDs of around 60 L Mutual Funds 40L. I have two flats and the home loan of one flat will be repaid before my retirement. For the other flat there is no loan. Myself and my wife have ancestors property (land)valued at around 6 Cr. I may need a monthly income of 75 K.Kindly suggest investment options for me

Ans: First, congratulations on your upcoming retirement. You've done a great job building a solid financial foundation. You have a diverse portfolio with fixed deposits, mutual funds, real estate, and ancestral property. This diversification provides stability and potential growth.

Your expected retirement corpus of Rs. 2 crore is substantial. With this, along with your current assets and minimal loan commitments, you are well-positioned for a comfortable retirement. Let's evaluate your options to generate a monthly income of Rs. 75,000 while ensuring your capital grows and remains secure.

Creating a Retirement Income Plan
Fixed Deposits (FDs)
You have Rs. 60 lakhs in fixed deposits. FDs offer security and guaranteed returns. However, their interest rates may not keep pace with inflation. It's wise to keep a portion of your retirement corpus in FDs for liquidity and safety. Allocate around 20-25% of your corpus here.

Mutual Funds
You already have Rs. 40 lakhs in mutual funds. Mutual funds are excellent for growth and can be tailored to match your risk tolerance. Consider the following types of funds:

Balanced Funds

Balanced funds provide a mix of equity and debt. They offer growth potential while minimizing risk. Given your age and risk tolerance, a balanced fund can help maintain stability.

Equity Funds

Equity funds are suitable for long-term growth. They can be volatile, but with a horizon of 10-15 years, they can significantly enhance your returns. Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds to spread risk.

Debt Funds

Debt funds are less risky and provide regular income. They are good for short-term needs. Invest in high-quality debt funds to ensure safety and reasonable returns.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Use an SWP from your mutual fund investments to generate a regular income. It allows you to withdraw a fixed amount monthly, providing you with Rs. 75,000. This method ensures that your capital continues to grow while providing you with the needed income.

Additional Investment Options
Senior Citizens' Saving Scheme (SCSS)
SCSS is a government-backed scheme offering attractive interest rates and regular income. It's safe and suitable for retirees. You can invest up to Rs. 15 lakhs individually or Rs. 30 lakhs jointly. The interest is paid quarterly, providing a steady income.

Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS)
POMIS is another secure option. It offers a fixed monthly income and is backed by the government. You can invest up to Rs. 4.5 lakhs individually or Rs. 9 lakhs jointly. The interest rate is competitive, and the monthly payout can supplement your income.

Corporate Bonds and Non-Convertible Debentures (NCDs)
Investing in high-rated corporate bonds and NCDs can provide higher returns than traditional FDs. They come with a fixed tenure and interest rate, offering a predictable income stream. Ensure to choose high-rated instruments to minimize risk.

Dividend-Paying Stocks
Investing in blue-chip companies that pay regular dividends can provide a steady income. Dividends are usually paid quarterly and can supplement your monthly income. Choose companies with a strong track record of consistent dividends.

Monthly Income Plans (MIPs)
MIPs offered by mutual funds invest predominantly in debt instruments with a small portion in equity. They aim to provide regular income and capital appreciation. MIPs can be a good option for generating monthly income with moderate risk.

Assessing Risks and Diversification
Risk Assessment
Retirement planning requires balancing risk and returns. While you need growth to beat inflation, capital preservation is equally crucial. Assess your risk tolerance and align your investments accordingly. A mix of safe and growth-oriented investments will ensure stability and growth.

Diversification
Diversification reduces risk and enhances returns. Spread your investments across different asset classes like FDs, mutual funds

, government schemes, and stocks. This strategy ensures that poor performance in one area does not significantly impact your overall portfolio.

Tax Efficiency and Planning
Tax-Saving Instruments
Maximize your tax benefits by investing in tax-saving instruments under Section 80C, such as Equity-Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) and SCSS. These instruments help reduce your taxable income while offering growth and regular income.

Tax on Returns
Understand the tax implications of your investments. For instance, interest from FDs and SCSS is taxable, while long-term capital gains from equity mutual funds enjoy favorable tax treatment. Plan your withdrawals and investments to minimize tax liabilities.

Health Insurance
Ensure you and your wife have adequate health insurance coverage. Medical expenses can erode your retirement corpus quickly. A comprehensive health insurance plan will provide peace of mind and financial security.

Estate Planning
Wills and Trusts
Estate planning is essential to ensure your assets are distributed according to your wishes. Draft a will to specify how your properties and investments should be allocated. Consider setting up a trust for efficient estate management and to minimize disputes among heirs.

Nomination and Succession
Ensure all your financial instruments have updated nominations. This simplifies the process for your heirs and ensures that your assets are transferred smoothly. Discuss your plans with your family to avoid confusion and misunderstandings later.

Emergency Fund
Liquidity
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of your monthly expenses. This fund should be easily accessible and kept in a liquid instrument like a savings account or a liquid mutual fund. It provides a financial cushion for unexpected expenses.

Reviewing and Adjusting Your Plan
Regular Reviews
Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance. Financial markets and personal circumstances change, so adjust your plan accordingly. Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner to stay on track.

Rebalancing
Rebalancing your portfolio periodically is crucial to maintain your desired asset allocation. If your equity investments perform well, they might constitute a larger portion of your portfolio, increasing risk. Rebalance by selling a portion of equity and investing in debt to restore balance.

Stay Informed
Keep yourself informed about financial markets and new investment opportunities. Continuous learning helps make informed decisions and adapt to changing market conditions. Subscribing to financial newsletters and attending seminars can enhance your knowledge.

Long-Term Growth Strategies
Equity Investments
For long-term growth, maintain a portion of your portfolio in equity investments. Equities have historically outperformed other asset classes over the long term. However, they come with higher risk, so balance your equity exposure based on your risk tolerance.

Real Assets
While you've asked not to consider real estate, it's worth mentioning that your ancestral property is a significant asset. Ensure it is well-maintained and consider potential income streams from it, such as renting or leasing, to supplement your retirement income.

Genuine Compliments and Appreciation
You have done an admirable job of planning and saving for your retirement. Your diverse portfolio, debt-free lifestyle, and significant assets reflect careful planning and financial discipline. It’s evident that you have a clear vision for a comfortable and secure retirement.

Your meticulous approach towards ensuring a regular income and safeguarding your assets for the future is commendable. You’ve laid a strong foundation for your golden years, and with a few strategic adjustments, you can enjoy a financially worry-free retirement.

Final Insights
Retirement planning is a continuous process that requires regular monitoring and adjustments. Your primary goal should be to ensure a stable and sufficient income while preserving your capital. Diversify your investments, assess risks carefully, and make informed decisions.

Utilize safe investment options like SCSS, POMIS, and high-rated corporate bonds for regular income. Consider mutual funds for growth, and always keep an emergency fund. Regular reviews and rebalancing will keep your portfolio aligned with your goals.

Stay informed, and don’t hesitate to seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner to optimize your strategy. Your proactive approach and diversified portfolio set you up for a successful and enjoyable retirement. Keep up the good work and continue to make prudent financial decisions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I will retire in 3 years ,in june 2027 & will have a corpus of around 3.5 Cr invested in PPF, EPF ,Supper Annuation Fund & MF . I live in my own flat ,currently market value of Rs 1.8 Cr . I also have an inherited flat from my parent valued at Rs80 lakhs . I need a monthly income of Rs 2.0 lacs after retirement . Please suggest way to invest
Ans: Congratulations on your impending retirement and the substantial corpus you've accumulated across various investment avenues. Planning for a comfortable post-retirement income is essential, and I'm here to offer guidance on how to achieve your financial goals.

With a corpus of around 3.5 crores invested in PPF, EPF, Superannuation Fund, and mutual funds, you have a solid foundation for retirement. Additionally, owning your own flat with a market value of Rs. 1.8 crores and an inherited flat valued at Rs. 80 lakhs provides further financial security.

To generate a monthly income of Rs. 2.0 lakhs after retirement, you'll need to ensure your investments are structured to provide a consistent stream of income while preserving capital for the long term.

Given your investment horizon of 3 years until retirement, it's crucial to adopt a balanced approach that combines both growth and income-generating assets. Here are some suggestions:

Dividend-Paying Mutual Funds: Allocate a portion of your corpus towards dividend-paying mutual funds, focusing on both equity and debt funds. These funds provide regular income through dividend payouts while also offering the potential for capital appreciation.

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP): Consider setting up SWPs from your mutual fund investments to meet your monthly income requirement post-retirement. SWPs allow you to withdraw a fixed amount periodically, ensuring a steady stream of income while keeping your investments intact.

Rental Income: Utilize the rental income from your inherited flat to supplement your monthly income post-retirement. If feasible, you may also explore renting out a portion of your own flat to generate additional income.

Fixed Deposits and Bonds: Allocate a portion of your corpus towards fixed deposits and bonds to provide stability and ensure liquidity. Opt for instruments with varying maturities to create a ladder that aligns with your income needs.

Real Estate Investment Trusts (REITs): Consider investing in REITs, which offer exposure to income-generating commercial real estate properties. REITs provide regular dividends and the potential for capital appreciation, enhancing your overall income stream.

Regular Review and Adjustment: Regularly review your investment portfolio and make necessary adjustments to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to optimize your investment strategy and navigate the complexities of retirement planning.

By diversifying your investment portfolio across multiple asset classes and implementing income-generating strategies, you can work towards achieving your goal of a monthly income of Rs. 2.0 lakhs post-retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi I sir I a m 52 PSU bank employee. Planning to retire at 55 .Savings of 1 CR in FD .pension expected 60000.Retirement benefits arround 1 CR. Other savings in PLI 15 lacs NSC 10 lacs,LIC 5 lacs Planning to sell 1 property worth 1.5 CR.Daughter pursuing 2nd year . Aged mother and handicapped brother dependant on me. Housing loan 9 lacs outstanding.planning to avail 50 lacs for renovation of another property.Need monthly income if 2 lacs .Please advise investment avenues
Ans: Planning for a Comfortable Retirement: Steps to Achieve Your Goals
You are 52 years old, working in a PSU bank, planning to retire at 55. Your savings include Rs 1 crore in FDs, Rs 15 lakhs in PLI, Rs 10 lakhs in NSC, and Rs 5 lakhs in LIC. You expect a pension of Rs 60,000 and retirement benefits of around Rs 1 crore. You also plan to sell a property worth Rs 1.5 crore. Your dependents include your daughter in her second year of studies, an aged mother, and a handicapped brother. You have an outstanding housing loan of Rs 9 lakhs and plan to borrow Rs 50 lakhs for property renovation. You need a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs. Here's how to plan your investments to achieve your goals.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
You have significant assets and income streams, including:

Savings in FD: Rs 1 crore
Expected Pension: Rs 60,000 per month
Retirement Benefits: Rs 1 crore
Property Sale Proceeds: Rs 1.5 crore
Savings in PLI: Rs 15 lakhs
Savings in NSC: Rs 10 lakhs
Savings in LIC: Rs 5 lakhs
Evaluating Your Financial Goals
You aim to secure a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs post-retirement. This requires careful planning and strategic investments.

Creating a Retirement Corpus
To achieve a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs, you need to build a substantial corpus. Here’s how to calculate it:

Monthly Income Required: Rs 2,00,000
Annual Income Required: Rs 2,00,000 x 12 = Rs 24,00,000
Assumed Safe Withdrawal Rate: 4%
Required Retirement Corpus: Rs 24,00,000 / 4% = Rs 6 crores
Steps to Achieve the Retirement Corpus
Achieving Rs 6 crores by retirement requires a strategic approach. Here’s a step-by-step plan:

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
SIPs in mutual funds can help build wealth over time. Here’s why:

Regular Investments: Investing monthly promotes disciplined saving.
Rupee Cost Averaging: It averages out the cost of investments, reducing market volatility impact.
Professional Management: Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market.
Building a Diversified Portfolio
Diversification reduces risk and maximizes returns. Here's how to create a balanced portfolio:

Equity Mutual Funds: Allocate a significant portion to equity funds for growth.
Debt Mutual Funds: Invest in debt funds for stability and predictable returns.
Balanced Funds: These funds offer a mix of equity and debt, balancing growth and stability.
Reviewing Existing Investments
You have investments in PLI, NSC, and LIC. These plans typically offer lower returns. Here’s what you can do:

Evaluate Returns: Check the returns on these plans.
Consider Surrendering: If returns are low, consider surrendering and reinvesting in mutual funds.
Utilizing the Proceeds from Property Sale
The sale of your property worth Rs 1.5 crore provides substantial capital. Here’s how to use it:

Pay Off Loans: Clear the Rs 9 lakhs housing loan to reduce liabilities.
Invest the Remaining Amount: Invest the remaining Rs 1.41 crore in a diversified portfolio for growth.
Setting Up a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Determine Monthly Savings: Calculate how much you can invest monthly after expenses.
Select Actively Managed Funds: Choose funds with a strong performance history.
Start Early: The earlier you start, the more time your money has to grow.
Emergency Fund and Insurance
An emergency fund and proper insurance are crucial for financial security. Here’s what you need:

Emergency Fund: Keep 6-12 months' expenses in a liquid fund.
Health Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health coverage for yourself and your dependents.
Life Insurance: Review your life insurance to ensure sufficient coverage.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds are managed by professionals aiming to outperform the market. Here’s why they are beneficial:

Expert Management: Fund managers make informed decisions based on market analysis.
Flexibility: They can adjust the portfolio to mitigate risks.
Potential for Higher Returns: Aiming to outperform the market, these funds often yield higher returns.
Disadvantages of Index Funds
While index funds offer low-cost diversification, they have drawbacks:

Lack of Flexibility: They strictly follow the index, missing opportunities to outperform.
Average Returns: Aim to match market performance, leading to average returns.
Full Market Exposure: They are fully exposed to market downturns without active management.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds have no commission costs but require more involvement. Here’s why regular funds with a CFP are better:

Professional Guidance: Regular funds come with expert advice and management.
Convenience: CFPs handle administrative tasks and provide tailored advice.
Performance Monitoring: Regular reviews by professionals ensure optimal performance.
Planning for Dependents
You have significant responsibilities, including your daughter’s education, and supporting your mother and brother. Here’s how to plan:

Education Fund: Allocate part of your savings for your daughter’s education.
Healthcare Fund: Ensure sufficient funds for your mother’s and brother’s healthcare needs.
Living Expenses: Plan for your brother’s living expenses, ensuring a stable future for him.
Renovation Loan and Its Impact
You plan to borrow Rs 50 lakhs for property renovation. Here’s how to manage it:

Evaluate Necessity: Ensure the renovation is essential and will add value.
Loan Repayment Plan: Create a clear repayment plan to manage the additional debt.
Impact on Savings: Assess how the loan will impact your overall savings and investments.
Creating a Withdrawal Strategy
Having a withdrawal strategy ensures you don’t outlive your savings. Here’s how to create one:

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Set up SWPs in mutual funds to provide regular income.
Safe Withdrawal Rate: Withdraw at a safe rate (4%) to ensure the corpus lasts.
Adjust for Inflation: Increase withdrawals periodically to keep up with inflation.
Final Insights
Achieving a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs post-retirement is challenging but possible. Start with SIPs in actively managed funds, diversify your portfolio, and regularly review and rebalance your investments. Utilize the proceeds from your property sale wisely and plan for dependents' future needs. Ensure you have adequate insurance and an emergency fund. With careful planning and disciplined investing, you can achieve your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Listen
Relationship
I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x