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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7435 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Mamta Question by Mamta on Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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A portfolio of 10 Crore in next 5 years. Want to start 80-90 k sip in MF but not in Indian market. YOUR ADVISE REQUIRED? Me and my wife jointly monthly income three Lakh per month. By profession I am a PVC flex material trader, my wife is training centre owner. Having two cute nd naughty son 4 yrs and 2 yrs old. Myself Vishal Choubey nd My wife shanti both aged 39 years. Having 5 houses Rental income arround 55k per month collectively. 1 CR term insurance for both of us in case something happens. An lic of 6 Lac going to mature 2026. Till 31st March 2024 PPF Vishal (10L)+ 10(L) shanti. Ujjivan bank 9k share @ 21rs, Mix share 2Lac. Edelweiss greater China 3.1Lacs, Axis China fund 5.2 Lakh, An sip of 49000/- in Nippon Taiwan current investment 7.37 Lakh market value 9.53 lakh, 3k sip in icici tax fund. Idfc tax fund an investment of 70k is now 2.6 Lakh, Many fund got doubled in last 3-4 years Approx 50 lakh MF portfolio. FD 14 Lakh. A land parcel of 1 acre approx 40 Lakh. All the assets are created in last 10yrs. Wish to sell one apartment and invest into China fund your advise required?

Ans: Vishal and Shanti, it's inspiring to see how diligently you've built your portfolio over the years, especially while juggling busy professional lives and raising two adorable sons. Your dedication to securing your family's future is truly commendable.

Considering your aspirations to grow your portfolio to 10 Crore in the next 5 years, diversifying your investments beyond the Indian market through SIPs in MFs is a prudent move. It reflects your forward-thinking approach to wealth creation.

Before deciding to sell one of your apartments to invest in the China fund, reflect on the potential risks and rewards. Are you comfortable with the level of exposure to international markets, especially given the current geopolitical climate? Would the sale of the apartment significantly impact your overall financial stability and future plans?

As a Certified Financial Planner, my advice would be to carefully evaluate your investment goals, risk tolerance, and the long-term prospects of the China fund before making any decisions. Your journey towards financial success is a testament to your hard work and resilience. Keep navigating with wisdom and foresight, always prioritizing the well-being of your family.
Asked on - May 02, 2024 | Answered on May 02, 2024
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Thank you so much.
Ans: Welcome :)
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7435 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

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Myself Vishal Choubey nd My wife shanti age 39 both, having 5 houses Rented(10000/-) 2bhk(30L) HALOL, Rented(10500/-) 2BHK BHIWADI (45L), Rented(7000/-)Bhk (45 Lakh) Jamshedpur, Self Living 3BHK(45) Jamshedpur One 2 floor house Jamshedpur Rented27k. PPF Vishal (10L)+ 10(L) shanti, Ujjivan bank 9k share @ 21rs Mix share 2Lac MF investment 8 Lac Edelwiss/Axis China fund current vale 7.95 Lakh MF Nippon Taiwan 49 k sip investment 7.37 Lakh market value 9.5 lakh, sip is active Idfc tax advantages fund investment of 70k is now 2.6 Lakh, many fund got doubled in last 3-4 years Approx 50 lakh MF 14 Lakh FD wish to invest in MF globally, buy on dip strategy. A land parcel of of 1 acre approx 35 Lakh. All the assets are created in last 10yrs. Wish to sell one apartment and invest into China fund.
Ans: It's impressive how you've diversified your investments across real estate, mutual funds, PPF, and shares.

Consider selling one apartment to further diversify into global mutual funds, aligning with your buy-on-dip strategy.

Reevaluate your MF portfolio regularly, ensuring it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Continue maximizing tax-saving opportunities like PPF and tax-saving mutual funds.

Review your real estate holdings periodically and assess if any adjustments are needed based on market conditions.

Maintain a balance between growth and stability in your investment portfolio to mitigate risks effectively.

Consult with a Certified Financial Planner to tailor your investment strategy according to your specific financial goals and aspirations.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7435 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 12, 2024

Money
Myself Vishal Choubey nd My wife shanti age 39 both. HaHaving 5 houses Rented(10000/-) 2bhk(30L) HALOL, Rented(10500/-) 2BHK BHIWADI (45L), Rented(7000/-)Bhk (45 Lakh) Jamshedpur, Self Living 3BHK(45Lakh) Jamshedpur , One 2 floor house Jamshedpur Rented 27k. Home Loan of 13.5Lakh is due for one house. 1 CR term insurance for both of us in case something happens. An lic of 6 Lac going to mature 2026. Till 31st March 2024 PPF Vishal (10L)+ 10(L) shanti. Ujjivan bank 9k share @ 21rs Mix share 2Lac MF investment 3 Lac in Edelweiss greater China fund Axis China fund current vale 5.2 Lakh Nippon Taiwan 49 k sip till date investment 7.37 Lakh market value 9.53 lakh, 5k sip in elss Idfc tax advantages fund investment of 70k is now 2.6 Lakh, Many fund got doubled in last 3-4 years Approx 50 lakh MF portfolio. 14 Lakh FD wish to invest in MF globally, buy on dip strategy. A land parcel of of 1 acre approx 35 Lakh. All the assets are created in last 10yrs. Wish to sell one apartment and invest into China fund your advise required? By profession I am a PVC flex material trader, my wife is training centre owner. Having two son 4 yrs and 2 yrs old. Want to create a monthly income of 2 Lakh monthly including rent. And a portfolio of 10 Crore in next 5 years. Want to start 80-90 k sip in MF but not in Indian market. YOUR ADVISE REQUIRED? OUR MONTHLY INCOME 1.5lakh for each. Kindly your advise
Ans: Vishal and Shanti, it's evident you've diligently built a diversified portfolio over the past decade, and you're now looking to fine-tune it to meet your future financial goals. Let's break down your situation and devise a strategic plan to achieve your objectives.

Assessment of Current Portfolio:

You have a robust real estate portfolio comprising five rental properties and a self-occupied residence. However, you also have a significant exposure to the Chinese market through mutual funds. While these investments have performed well historically, it's crucial to acknowledge the higher risk associated with international investments.

Your mutual fund portfolio, particularly the investments in Edelweiss Greater China Fund and Axis China Fund, has seen substantial growth. However, it's important to regularly review your portfolio's performance and adjust your investments as needed to mitigate risks and seize opportunities.

Planning for the Future:

Selling Apartment and Investing in China Fund: Selling one of your properties to invest in a China-focused fund could further diversify your portfolio. However, it's essential to consider the implications of concentrating your investments further in the Chinese market, especially given its volatility and geopolitical risks. Diversification across asset classes and regions is key to managing risk effectively.

Monthly Income and Wealth Creation Goals: Your target of generating a monthly income of 2 lakh rupees, including rental income, is ambitious but achievable with a strategic approach. Considering your current income streams and investments, it's feasible to gradually increase your SIP contributions to meet this target. However, it's essential to assess your risk tolerance and ensure that your investment strategy aligns with your long-term goals.

Investment Strategy: Given your desire to invest globally and your preference for a buy-on-dip strategy, you may consider exploring opportunities in international mutual funds or exchange-traded funds (ETFs) that offer exposure to diverse markets. However, it's crucial to conduct thorough research and consult with a financial advisor to select funds that align with your risk profile and investment objectives.

Recommendations:

Diversification: While international investments can offer growth opportunities, ensure that they complement your existing portfolio rather than increasing concentration risk. Consider diversifying across regions and asset classes to mitigate risk and enhance long-term returns.

Regular Portfolio Review: Continuously monitor the performance of your investments and make adjustments as needed to stay aligned with your financial goals. Regular portfolio reviews with a Certified Financial Planner can help identify opportunities for optimization and risk management.

Risk Management: Given the dynamic nature of financial markets, it's crucial to prioritize risk management and adopt a disciplined approach to investing. Avoid chasing short-term gains and focus on building a resilient portfolio that can withstand market volatility.

In conclusion, while your current portfolio reflects your proactive approach to wealth creation, it's essential to reassess your investment strategy periodically and make informed decisions to achieve your long-term financial objectives. By diversifying your investments, prioritizing risk management, and staying disciplined, you can work towards building a robust financial foundation for your family's future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7435 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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Money
A portfolio of 10 Crore in next 5 years. Want to start 80-90 k sip in MF but not in Indian market. YOUR ADVISE REQUIRED? Me and my wife jointly monthly income 3lakh per month. By profession I am a PVC flex material trader, my wife is training centre owner. Having two cute nd naughty son 4 yrs and 2 yrs old. Myself Vishal Choubey nd My wife shanti both aged 39 years. Having 5 houses Rental income arround 55k per month collectively. 1 CR term insurance for both of us in case something happens. An lic of 6 Lac going to mature 2026. Till 31st March 2024 PPF Vishal (10L)+ 10(L) shanti. Ujjivan bank 9k share @ 21rs, Mix share 2Lac. Edelweiss greater China 3.1Lacs, Axis China fund 5.2 Lakh, An sip of 49000/- in Nippon Taiwan current investment 7.37 Lakh market value 9.53 lakh, 3k sip in icici tax fund. Idfc tax fund an investment of 70k is now 2.6 Lakh, Many fund got doubled in last 3-4 years Approx 50 lakh MF portfolio. 14 Lakh. A land parcel of 1 acre approx 40 Lakh. All the assets are created in last 10yrs. Wish to sell one apartment and invest into China fund your advise required?
Ans: Hello Vishal and Shanti,

It's wonderful to see that you've built a substantial portfolio and are actively planning for your financial future. Let's address your queries and provide some advice:

Investment in International Markets:
Diversifying your investment portfolio by investing in international markets is a prudent strategy to mitigate risks and capture global growth opportunities.
Given your intention to start SIPs in MFs outside the Indian market, consider researching and selecting funds that focus on regions or countries with strong economic growth prospects, such as the US, Europe, or emerging markets like China.
Look for mutual funds or exchange-traded funds (ETFs) that have a track record of consistent performance and are managed by reputable fund houses with expertise in international markets.
Selling Apartment and Investing in China Fund:
Selling one of your apartments to invest in a China-focused fund can be a strategic move, provided you have thoroughly evaluated the risks and potential returns associated with investing in the Chinese market.
Consider factors such as geopolitical tensions, regulatory changes, and economic stability when making investment decisions in international markets.
Consult with a financial advisor to assess the suitability of this investment strategy based on your overall financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon.
Reviewing Existing Investments:
Periodically review your existing investments, including MFs, shares, and other assets, to ensure they remain aligned with your financial objectives and risk profile.
Take advantage of opportunities to rebalance your portfolio and reallocate funds to assets that offer better growth prospects or align with your evolving financial goals.
Risk Management and Insurance:
Continue prioritizing risk management by maintaining adequate insurance coverage, such as your term insurance policies, to protect your family's financial well-being in case of unforeseen events.
Regularly assess your insurance needs and consider updating your coverage as your financial circumstances change over time.
Long-Term Financial Planning:
Given your joint monthly income, rental income from properties, and diverse investment portfolio, continue focusing on long-term financial planning to achieve your goal of building a portfolio worth 10 Crore in the next 5 years.
Monitor your progress towards this goal regularly and make adjustments as necessary to stay on track.
Overall, your proactive approach to financial planning and willingness to explore international investment opportunities bodes well for your financial future. Continue seeking expert advice and stay disciplined in executing your investment strategies.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7435 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

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A portfolio of 10 Crore in next 5 years. Want to start 80-90 k sip in MF but not in Indian market. YOUR ADVISE REQUIRED? Me and my wife jointly monthly income 3lakh per month. By profession I am a PVC flex material trader, my wife is training centre owner. Having two cute nd naughty son 4 yrs and 2 yrs old. Myself Vishal Choubey nd My wife shanti both aged 39 years. Having 5 houses Rental income arround 55k per month collectively. 1 CR term insurance for both of us in case something happens. An lic of 6 Lac going to mature 2026. Till 31st March 2024 PPF Vishal (10L)+ 10(L) shanti. Ujjivan bank 9k share @ 21rs, Mix share 2Lac. Edelweiss greater China 3.1Lacs, Axis China fund 5.2 Lakh, An sip of 49000/- in Nippon Taiwan current investment 7.37 Lakh market value 9.53 lakh, 3k sip in icici tax fund. Idfc tax fund an investment of 70k is now 2.6 Lakh, Many fund got doubled in last 3-4 years Approx 50 lakh MF portfolio. FD 14 Lakh. A land parcel of 1 acre approx 40 Lakh. All the assets are created in last 10yrs. Wish to sell one apartment and invest into China fund your advise required?
Ans: It's evident that you've diligently built a diversified portfolio over the past decade, encompassing various asset classes and investment vehicles. Now, aiming to expand your investment horizon beyond the Indian market through SIPs in mutual funds indicates a forward-thinking approach.

Assessing Current Financial Position:

Your joint monthly income of Rs. 3 lakh, along with rental income from five houses, provides a stable foundation for further investment endeavors. Additionally, having term insurance coverage of Rs. 1 crore ensures financial security for your family in unforeseen circumstances.

Evaluating Investment Portfolio:

Your existing investment portfolio comprises a mix of equity funds, shares, PPF, FDs, and real estate. Notably, your investments in international funds such as Nippon Taiwan and Axis China Fund reflect a willingness to diversify geographically.

Considering Selling Apartment to Invest in China Fund:

Selling one apartment to invest in a China-focused fund is a strategic decision that warrants careful consideration. Before proceeding, assess the potential impact on your overall asset allocation, risk profile, and liquidity needs.

Benefits of Investing in International Markets:

Investing in international markets offers diversification benefits, reducing portfolio risk associated with domestic market fluctuations. Exposure to rapidly growing economies like China can potentially enhance portfolio returns over the long term.

Risks and Considerations:

However, investing in international markets entails currency risk, geopolitical factors, and regulatory uncertainties specific to the target country. Conduct thorough research and consult with a Certified Financial Planner to evaluate these risks and determine suitability.

SIP Allocation and Fund Selection:

Allocating Rs. 80-90,000 monthly SIP towards international funds aligns with your goal of expanding investment horizons. Consider diversified international funds with exposure to developed and emerging markets, ensuring a balanced risk-return profile.

Review and Rebalance:

Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure alignment with financial goals and risk tolerance. Rebalance asset allocation periodically to maintain diversification and optimize returns.

Conclusion:

Your proactive approach towards financial planning and willingness to explore international investment opportunities is commendable. Before selling the apartment, assess the potential impact on your overall portfolio and consult with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice tailored to your objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |197 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Career
RESPECTED SIR I APPEARED CLASS 12 BOARD IN 2024 BUT I FAIL AND NOW I APPEARING IN FEBRUARY 2025 AGAIN CAN I GIVE NEET 2025 BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE DOCTOR I HAVE DREAM TO BECOME DOCTOR SINCE CLASS 4 I AM AVERAGE STUDENT
Ans: Hi Jaimin,
Greetings.




The answer which i have given below is based on last year.
ANSWER 1: If you want to pursue medicine in ARMED FORCES MEDICAL COLLEGE (AFMC), PUNE, (Information brochure Admission to MBBS course-2024, PAGE NO. 6)

GENERAL 6. A candidate seeking admission to the MBBS Course in AFMC is eligible if he / she fulfils the following criteria: - (a) The candidate should be a citizen of India. Foreign nationals of Indian origin may be admitted into AFMC only after they have acquired Indian Citizenship or in respect of whom the Ministry of Home Affairs issues a certificate of eligibility. This however does not apply to the 05 Govt Sponsored Candidates from Friendly Foreign Countries. (b) Must be unmarried. Marriage during the course is not permitted. (c) Should be medically fit as per prescribed standards by the Govt of India, Ministry of Defence (see Appendix ‘A’). (d) Age criteria: The candidate should have attained the age of 17 years at the time of admission or should be completing that age on or before 31 Dec of the year of admission of the first year of MBBS course but must not have attained the age of 24 years on that date, i.e., must have been born not earlier than 01 January 2001 and not later than 31 December 2007. Academic Qualifications 7. Candidates must have passed one of the qualifying examinations listed at sub-para (a) to (j) below in the FIRST ATTEMPT with English, Physics, Chemistry and Biology/ Bio-technology taken simultaneously and securing not less than 60% of the aggregate marks in these three science subjects taken together and not less than 50% marks in English and 50% marks in each of the science subjects. They must have also passed an examination in Mathematics of the tenth standard. The examinations are: - (a) The Higher Secondary (10+2) or equivalent examination in science of a statutory Indian University/board or other recognized examination body with English, Physics, Chemistry & Biology/ Bio-technology which shall include practical test in all of these science subjects. (b) The Pre-professional/Pre-Medical examination with English, Physics, Chemistry and Biology/ Bio-technology (after passing either Higher Secondary School examination or pre- University or equivalent examination) which shall include practical test in these science subjects. (c) 1st year of three years Degree course of a recognized University with English, Physics, Chemistry, and Biology/ Bio-technology including practical test in science subjects provided the examination is a University Examination.

SO TO GET ADMISSION IN AFMC - 17 YEARS, FIRST ATTEMPT IN HSC, 60% AGGREGATE AND NOT LESS THAN 50% IN ENGLISH AND SCIENCE SUBJECTS.

ACCORDING TO AIIMS:
ELIGIBILITY
For Indian nationals:
An applicant is eligible for admission to the competitive Entrance Examination of the Institute if the following criteria are met with:-
Nationality: He/She is an Indian citizen
Age: He/She has attained or will attain the age of seventeen (17) years as
on the 31st of December of the year of admission. Candidates attaining seventeen   years on 1st January 2001 or later will not be eligible to appear at  the   competitive entrance examination.
Essential
Qualification:   He/She should have passed the12th Class under the 10+2 Scheme /Senior SchoolCertificate Examination or  an equivalent examination of a recognized Board of  any Indian State with ENGLISH and Medical Group of  subjects, namely   PHYSICS, CHEMISTRY (Organic and Inorganic) and BIOLOGY  (Botany and  Zoology) :
                                              OR    
The Intermediate Science (I.Sc.) or an equivalent examination of a recognized Indian university or a  recognized Board of Education of any Indian State with ENGLISH and the Medical Group of Subjects,  namely PHYSICS, CHEMISTRY (Organic and Inorganic) and BIOLOGY (Botany and Zoology):
                                               OR
Pre-Medical or Pre-Professional examination of the integrate M.B.B.S. course with ENGLISH, PHYSICS,  CHEMISTRY (Organic and Inorganic) and BIOLOGY  (Botany and Zoology); after having passed either the  higher Secondary School Examination o Pre-University Examination, or an equivalent Examination;
                                                 OR
The 1st year examination of the 3-year B.Sc degree course with ENGLISH,  PHYSICS, CHEMISTRY (Organic and Zoology) after passing the Higher Secondary or Pre-University Examination.
OR
Any other examination with the required subjects which in scope and
standard(including its courses and  syllabus) is considered by the institute to be equivalent to Pre-medical/Intermediate Science examination of an Indian University.
Minimum
Aggregate  : He/She should have obtained a minimum of SIXTY PERCENT (60%) marks in aggregate in the 4   compulsory subjects of ENGLISH, PHYSICS, CHEMISTRY (Organic and Inorganic) and BIOLOGY (Botany and Zoology).

FROM PRIVATE COLLEGE: MBBS Course (200 Seats)
Candidates who are citizens of India, NRIs, PIOs, OCIs and foreign nationals are eligible to take NEET.
Qualifying Exam: 10+2 or equivalent with Physics, Chemistry, Biology/Biotechnology and English as core subject in both Classes 11 and 12 from a recognised board.
Minimum Age Requirement: 17 years as on December 31 of the year of admission
Maximum Age Limit: No upper age limit
Qualifying Marks: UR - 50%, OBC/SC/ST - 40%, PWD - 45% (minimum aggregate marks only for PCB subjects)
Maximum Attempts: No limit on the permitted number of attempts.
Nationality:Indian Nationals, NRIs, OCIs, PIOs & Foreign Nationals


Based on the details provided, you are eligible to pursue a medicine course in India, even though you have failed your HSC. Once you clear your +2 exams and achieve the necessary marks to gain admission through NEET, you can apply. However, to gain admission to AIIMS, you must have an aggregate score of 60%. Unfortunately, you are not eligible for admission to AFMC. Therefore, you can consider other options besides AFMC to pursue your studies in medicine.
ALL THE BEST.

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
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Money
Personal Status Current Age - 35Y Male Profession - Embedded Engineer Disposal Income - 1.6L/Month Monthly Expense - 50K/Month Yearly Onetime Expenses - 3L/Year (School Fee, Premiums, Personal) Annual Disposal Income - 19,20,000 Annual Expenses - 9,00,000 Financial Status (1) Term Insurance - 1Cr (2) Health Insurance (1) Company Insurance - 3L (MySelf, Spouse, 2 Kids, Father and Mother) (2) Personal Insurance - 25L (Star Health Assure Floater Policy - MySelf, Spouse, 2 Kids) (3) Emergency Fund - 5L in Debt Fund (ICICI All Season Bond) Current Asset Allocation: (1) Real Estate - 46% (2) Equity - 20% (3) Gold - 11% (4) Debt - 9% (5) Retirement - 16% Investment Plan: (1) Debt - 25% (2) PPFAS Flexi Cap MF - 20% (3) Axis Mid Cap MF - 17% (4) Quant HealthCare MF - 9% (5) Tata Digital MF - 6% (6) Global Fund - 5% (7) UTI Nifty 50 Index - 10% (8) Stocks - 8% Other Investment (Retirement Plan): SSY - 1.5L/Year PF - 2.5L/Year Investment duration: Next 15Years Can you please guide me in the following questions (1) The Allocation to MF are fine or need to be modified? (2) Can you suggest the allocation to Global Stocks MF? (3) The Global Fund suggestion if any It would be grateful if any other things I need to consider or modify. Thank you in advance!
Ans: Hello;

My feedback is as given below:

1. First your term life cover is not adequate. It should be enhanced to
2-3 Cr.

2. Healthcare coverage for your parents is relatively lower considering that they may be in the higher age band hence higher possibility of medical risks.

3. Emergency fund should be parked in overnight/liquid or arbitrage fund. Never in a dynamic bond fund with Macaulay duration of 3-4 years. Returns are not that important as liquidity and low risk for emergency fund.

4. Considering your age the allocation to equity is quite low. Assuming that you have a conservative risk profile still you should atleast have 40% allocation to equity mutual funds(not direct stocks) and taper it down gradually as you approach retirement age.

I mean actively managed or passive equity mutual funds and not sectoral and thematic funds(shouldn't be more then 10-15% of your equity allocation).

5. You already have exposure to global stocks through your flexicap fund. In addition to that you have 5% allocation to global stocks MF which maybe enhanced to 8%.

To maintain neutrality of this forum we are duty bound to avoid indicating fund house preference or recommendation.

6. Allocation to Gold should be max 10% of the portfolio.

7. Consider NPS for retirement planning. It's an E-E-E type of investment with very less withdrawals allowed before 60.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |118 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Relationship
Dear Doctor, Greetings of the day. I am a married man with two daughters. Ours was an intercaste love marriage, and I was fully aware of my wife’s past before we got married. At that time, I had no issues with her past as I believed she had moved on, and I was completely fine with it. We got married in 2008, and due to my job profile, we had to live away from our hometown. My wife is a highly educated woman, and she sacrificed her career to focus on raising our children. Once our younger daughter turned 9, we decided it was time for my wife to resume her professional career. She started a naturopathy clinic in our hometown, while I continued working in another city, living the life of a “forced bachelor.” However, after a year of being apart, I started missing my family deeply. I decided to leave my job and take up another role closer to our hometown so that I could spend weekends with my family. Since then, whenever I visit home, I sense a change in my wife’s behavior and body language. Things do not feel the same between us anymore. I have observed that her ex-boyfriend, who lives near her parents’ house, is a factor in this situation. Her ex’s elder sister frequently visits my wife’s clinic, and my wife also visits her parents’ house regularly, where he is around. I feel uneasy about this because her ex is known to be a drunkard and a manipulative man who can play with her mind. On one occasion, during a family function, he approached me, seemingly about to start a conversation, but my wife made a subtle signal, and he immediately stopped. He was drunk at the time, and that incident has been stuck in my mind ever since. I am unsure how to deal with this situation or what steps to take moving forward. It is affecting my peace of mind, and I feel lost. Kindly guide me on how to approach this matter.
Ans: It’s understandable that you’re feeling uneasy and concerned about the situation. Relationships, especially long-term ones, evolve over time, and external factors can create complex dynamics. Here’s a step-by-step approach to help you navigate this:

1. Clarify Your Feelings
Reflect on what exactly is making you uncomfortable—your wife’s behavior, her interactions with her ex, or the idea that her past might be resurfacing.
Separate your assumptions from facts. It’s important to ensure your concerns are grounded in reality and not solely based on fears.
2. Open Communication with Your Wife
Choose a calm and private moment to talk to your wife. Share your feelings without accusations or judgment.
Use “I” statements, such as:
“I’ve been feeling uneasy about some things and would like to discuss them with you. I value our relationship and want to ensure we’re on the same page.”
Be honest but gentle. Aim to understand her perspective and ensure she feels safe sharing her thoughts with you.
3. Understand Her Perspective
Ask her how she’s feeling about the current state of your relationship, her work-life balance, and your family dynamics.
Inquire about her interactions with her ex’s family and clarify if they are merely coincidental or something more deliberate.
4. Establish Boundaries
If the situation with her ex is a source of discomfort for you, it’s okay to express that and set boundaries together.
For example: “I respect your independence, but I feel uneasy about the proximity to your ex. Can we find a way to address this together?”
5. Revisit the Relationship Foundation
Long-distance and career changes can create emotional gaps. Reconnect with your wife by revisiting shared goals, dreams, and moments that brought you together.
Plan activities together, even small ones, that allow you to strengthen your bond.
6. Self-Care
Feeling lost and restless can impact your mental and emotional health. Engage in activities that help you stay grounded, such as exercise, meditation, or journaling.
Seek support from trusted friends or a counselor if you need a safe space to process your feelings.
7. Consider Professional Guidance
If the situation continues to strain your relationship, couples counseling can be a constructive way to work through concerns with an objective third party.
8. Evaluate the Bigger Picture
Look at your wife’s overall behavior and commitment to the family. If her actions consistently demonstrate care and loyalty, the presence of her ex might be less significant than it feels.
Conversely, if her behavior indicates distance or secrecy, it may warrant deeper introspection and conversation.
Key Principles
Trust but Verify: While trust is essential, it’s okay to seek clarity when something feels off.
Non-Confrontational Approach: Avoid making accusations or assumptions. Focus on fostering mutual understanding.
Focus on Solutions: Work together to create a relationship environment where both of you feel secure and valued.
This is a sensitive issue, but with open communication and a collaborative approach, you can work toward restoring peace of mind and a deeper connection in your marriage.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |118 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 28, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi expert I’m a 48-year-old man from Bangalore. I am watching your videos on instagram and need your advice. Recently, I joined Instagram in search of answers to some personal, painful questions that I’ve never had the courage to discuss with anyone before. I’ve been married since 2007, and we have a 15-year-old son. Despite being in a long-term marriage, I often feel uncertain about my relationship with my wife and my family. At times, I wonder if my wife—or anyone in my family—truly loves or even cares for me. This feeling of being emotionally disconnected has led me to occasionally think that I might be better off alone, or even running away from everything. One issue I struggle with is communication with my wife. Whenever I try to discuss personal or family matters with her, she gets upset, and her anger usually leads to silence between us until I apologize. It feels like I can’t express myself openly without the fear of making things worse. This dynamic has created a barrier, and I’ve found it difficult to have meaningful conversations or resolve issues. Another complication is the lack of harmony between my wife and my family. From the early days of our marriage, my family never really accepted her, and there has always been tension. They didn’t make an effort to treat her well, and over time, it became clear that they don’t get along. As a result, there’s a deep sense of isolation for her in my family, and that only adds to the strain in our relationship. At home, I also often feel like I fail to meet expectations. My wife gets angry when things aren’t done the way she wants them to be, and I sometimes find myself unsure of how to navigate these situations. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells, trying to avoid conflict, but in doing so, I’m unsure whether I’m making the right choices or whether I’m neglecting my own needs in the process. I’m reaching out for advice because I’m at a point where I feel lost. I’m not sure how to repair the relationships in my life or how to stop feeling so isolated. Any guidance or perspective you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
Ans: Thank you for sharing your story so openly and honestly. I understand how overwhelming it can feel to navigate such complex emotions and relationships, especially when you feel uncertain about where to turn for guidance. Let’s take this step-by-step to explore ways to help you find clarity and strengthen your relationships.

1. Instagram as a Starting Point, Not the Solution
It’s important to acknowledge that while platforms like Instagram can offer inspiration and helpful insights, they’re not designed for addressing deeply personal issues. Content on social media is often generalized and may lack the depth, context, and nuance needed to resolve complex challenges. What you’re experiencing deserves more personalized attention and a safe, professional space where you can explore your thoughts, emotions, and relationship dynamics in depth. Seeking professional help—such as therapy or counseling—will allow you to find tailored solutions that fit your unique circumstances.

2. Understanding Emotional Disconnect
Feeling emotionally disconnected in your marriage and questioning whether your family loves or cares for you can be incredibly painful. These feelings might not reflect the absence of love but rather difficulties in how love and care are communicated within your relationships. Emotional disconnection often stems from patterns of interaction or unmet emotional needs, which can build over time. Recognizing this can help you shift your focus from self-doubt to exploring ways to improve connection and communication with your loved ones.

3. Improving Communication with Your Wife
A recurring theme in your situation is the challenge of communication with your wife. Here are a few strategies to address this:

Choose Neutral Moments: Initiate conversations at a time when both of you are calm and free from immediate stress. Avoid starting sensitive discussions during or right after a conflict.
Express Feelings, Not Faults: Frame your concerns using “I” statements to share your feelings without sounding accusatory. For example, instead of saying, “You always get upset when I talk,” you could say, “I feel hesitant to share my thoughts because I worry about upsetting you.”
Listen Actively: Show her that her perspective matters by listening without interrupting. Reflect on what she says to ensure she feels heard.
Consider Structured Check-Ins: Set aside regular time (e.g., once a week) to discuss family matters or emotions. This can create a safe space for open dialogue without the pressure of immediate resolution.
4. Addressing Family Tensions
The tension between your wife and your family has likely added significant strain to your marriage. While this dynamic is challenging, there are steps you can take to navigate it:

Acknowledge Your Wife’s Experience: Validate her feelings about her struggles with your family. Let her know that you understand how difficult it’s been for her to feel isolated.
Set Boundaries with Your Family: It’s important to prioritize your marriage while still maintaining a respectful relationship with your family. This might involve gently but firmly communicating to your family that you expect them to treat your wife with respect, even if they don’t share a close bond.
Avoid Forcing Reconciliation: Instead of trying to make your wife and family “get along,” focus on small steps to reduce tension. Highlight shared interests or goals, but respect their individual boundaries.
5. Managing Expectations and Conflicts at Home
It’s clear that you feel under pressure to meet expectations and avoid conflict at home. To navigate this:

Clarify Expectations: Have an open conversation with your wife about her specific expectations and how you can meet them without compromising your own needs. Share your expectations as well, so you both have a clearer understanding of each other’s perspectives.
Practice Self-Care: Taking care of your mental and physical health is crucial. Whether through exercise, hobbies, or relaxation techniques, find activities that help you manage stress and maintain emotional balance.
Respond, Don’t React: When conflicts arise, take a moment to pause and reflect before responding. This can help you approach the situation with calmness and clarity.
6. Seeking Professional Help
Given the complexity of your situation, seeking professional guidance could be immensely beneficial. Options include:

Marriage Counseling: A therapist can provide a neutral space where both you and your wife can work through communication challenges and emotional disconnection. This can help you rebuild trust and strengthen your bond.
Individual Therapy: If you’re feeling isolated or questioning your self-worth, therapy can help you explore these feelings, gain clarity, and develop strategies for personal growth and resilience.
Family Counseling: If you want to address the broader family dynamics, family therapy can help facilitate understanding and harmony among all parties involved.
7. Reflecting on Your Needs
Finally, take time to reflect on your own emotional needs. What do you truly want from your relationships? What makes you feel valued and loved? Communicating these needs to your wife and family can help them understand how to support you better.

A Final Thought
You’ve taken a courageous first step by acknowledging your struggles and seeking advice. While the path ahead may feel uncertain, remember that meaningful change is possible with consistent effort, patience, and the right support. You don’t have to go through this alone, and seeking professional help can provide the tools you need to rebuild connection and find peace in your relationships.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |466 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 01, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello Mam Age 42. Double divorcee. Recently I have been meeting my old college friend & we sort of know each other for the last 2 decades. At college we were more of acquaintances & post that we were connected through social media. We would sometimes connect but not on regular basis. She is also a divorcee. However in 2024 we have been meeting quite regularly. When we meet she is very nice & has been warm with me; we go out have fun. But there are things like she keeps hiding from me. She goes on overnight tours with her 'friends' ; she never introduces me to her friends ( I mean friends with whom she goes out). I told her that I am ok with your 'friends' but she sorts of backs away. Also then there have been some unexplained gaps (she turns cold all of a sudden) & then comes out very warm. All these days & I have developed strong feelings for her. Just wanted to get your perspective on what you think is her stance towards me.
Ans: It’s possible that her past experiences have made her cautious. After going through a divorce, people often carry emotional baggage or fears about vulnerability and trust. These feelings can make someone hesitant to fully open up or commit, even if they’re genuinely interested in the connection. Her keeping parts of her life private, like her outings with friends, might be her way of maintaining control and independence as she navigates her own emotions and what she wants for her future.

Another perspective to consider is that she may be uncertain about the nature of your relationship or how she feels about moving forward. The warm and cold behavior could be a reflection of her trying to figure out her own emotions. She might enjoy spending time with you but feel hesitant about diving deeper due to unresolved feelings from her past or uncertainties about what a long-term commitment would look like.

This inconsistency might also stem from her valuing her independence and wanting to keep certain aspects of her life separate until she feels more certain about how to integrate you into those spaces. For some, introducing a new partner to close friends or family is a significant step that they might delay until they feel fully ready.

It’s important for you to approach this situation with patience and open communication. Rather than focusing on her actions as signs of rejection or disinterest, try to have a heartfelt conversation about how you feel and what you’ve observed. Share your feelings honestly and express your desire to understand her better. Ask her about her thoughts and boundaries in a way that shows you’re genuinely interested in her perspective, not just seeking answers for your own clarity.

At the same time, reflect on your own needs and expectations. Consider whether you’re comfortable with the pace and level of openness in this relationship. It’s essential to strike a balance where both of you feel valued and respected without feeling pressured or overwhelmed.

Remember that relationships, especially those formed later in life, often take time to develop deeper trust and understanding. Her actions don’t necessarily mean she’s not interested; they might just reflect her personal journey and the pace at which she’s comfortable moving. With time, communication, and mutual understanding, you can work together to determine whether your connection has the potential to grow into something more fulfilling and stable.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |466 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Meri wife ka past me 7 saal ka relationship tha lekin wo log apne ghar pe baat nahi kar paye . Wo bolti hai ki usko kb ka bhul gai hai aur mere saath pyaar karti hai kya aisa ho sakta hai, 7 saal bahut badi baat hoti hai
Ans: Jo cheez aapko ab karni chahiye, wo hai apni wife ke saath ek imaandaar aur khuli baat. Aap apne dil ki baat unse bina kisi ilzaam ke share karein, jaise ki, "Mujhe kabhi-kabhi lagta hai ki tumhare purane rishton ka asar hamare present par pad raha hoga. Main tumse is baare mein baat karna chahta hoon taaki mujhe clarity mile aur humare beech aur zyada trust ho."

Unka jawab sunte waqt unhe judge na karein. Shayad unka past ek important hissa tha, lekin iska matlab yeh nahi ki wo apne present mein apko kam mahatvapurn samajhti hain. Kai baar log apne purane jazbat ko samay ke saath puri tarah process karke unhe peeche chhod dete hain, aur yeh natural hai.

Saath hi, khud par bhi dhyan deejiyega. Apne jazbat aur insecurities ko samajhne ki koshish karein. Kai baar humein jo chinta hoti hai wo doosre ke actions ke wajah se nahi, balki humare apne assumptions ke kaaran hoti hai. Aap apne mann ko itna shant rakhne ki koshish karein ki aap apne rishte ko vishwas aur pyar ke saath aage le jaa sakein.

Agar aapko lagta hai ki aap dono ke beech in baaton ko lekar clarity aur emotional connection ki zarurat hai, to ek counselor ya therapist ki madad lena ek accha option ho sakta hai. Yeh aap dono ke rishte ko aur mazboot karne mein madad karega aur past ke koi bhi unresolved jazbat ko resolve karne ka mauka dega.

Yaad rakhiye, ek strong relationship trust, communication aur shared commitment ke bina nahi banta. Agar aap dono sach mein ek-dusre se pyaar karte hain aur ek dusre ka respect karte hain, to har muskil ka hal mil jayega.

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