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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Mamta Question by Mamta on Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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Myself Vishal Choubey nd My wife shanti age 39 both, having 5 houses Rented(10000/-) 2bhk(30L) HALOL, Rented(10500/-) 2BHK BHIWADI (45L), Rented(7000/-)Bhk (45 Lakh) Jamshedpur, Self Living 3BHK(45) Jamshedpur One 2 floor house Jamshedpur Rented27k. PPF Vishal (10L)+ 10(L) shanti, Ujjivan bank 9k share @ 21rs Mix share 2Lac MF investment 8 Lac Edelwiss/Axis China fund current vale 7.95 Lakh MF Nippon Taiwan 49 k sip investment 7.37 Lakh market value 9.5 lakh, sip is active Idfc tax advantages fund investment of 70k is now 2.6 Lakh, many fund got doubled in last 3-4 years Approx 50 lakh MF 14 Lakh FD wish to invest in MF globally, buy on dip strategy. A land parcel of of 1 acre approx 35 Lakh. All the assets are created in last 10yrs. Wish to sell one apartment and invest into China fund.

Ans: It's impressive how you've diversified your investments across real estate, mutual funds, PPF, and shares.

Consider selling one apartment to further diversify into global mutual funds, aligning with your buy-on-dip strategy.

Reevaluate your MF portfolio regularly, ensuring it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Continue maximizing tax-saving opportunities like PPF and tax-saving mutual funds.

Review your real estate holdings periodically and assess if any adjustments are needed based on market conditions.

Maintain a balance between growth and stability in your investment portfolio to mitigate risks effectively.

Consult with a Certified Financial Planner to tailor your investment strategy according to your specific financial goals and aspirations.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 12, 2024

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Myself Vishal Choubey nd My wife shanti age 39 both. HaHaving 5 houses Rented(10000/-) 2bhk(30L) HALOL, Rented(10500/-) 2BHK BHIWADI (45L), Rented(7000/-)Bhk (45 Lakh) Jamshedpur, Self Living 3BHK(45Lakh) Jamshedpur , One 2 floor house Jamshedpur Rented 27k. Home Loan of 13.5Lakh is due for one house. 1 CR term insurance for both of us in case something happens. An lic of 6 Lac going to mature 2026. Till 31st March 2024 PPF Vishal (10L)+ 10(L) shanti. Ujjivan bank 9k share @ 21rs Mix share 2Lac MF investment 3 Lac in Edelweiss greater China fund Axis China fund current vale 5.2 Lakh Nippon Taiwan 49 k sip till date investment 7.37 Lakh market value 9.53 lakh, 5k sip in elss Idfc tax advantages fund investment of 70k is now 2.6 Lakh, Many fund got doubled in last 3-4 years Approx 50 lakh MF portfolio. 14 Lakh FD wish to invest in MF globally, buy on dip strategy. A land parcel of of 1 acre approx 35 Lakh. All the assets are created in last 10yrs. Wish to sell one apartment and invest into China fund your advise required? By profession I am a PVC flex material trader, my wife is training centre owner. Having two son 4 yrs and 2 yrs old. Want to create a monthly income of 2 Lakh monthly including rent. And a portfolio of 10 Crore in next 5 years. Want to start 80-90 k sip in MF but not in Indian market. YOUR ADVISE REQUIRED? OUR MONTHLY INCOME 1.5lakh for each. Kindly your advise
Ans: Vishal and Shanti, it's evident you've diligently built a diversified portfolio over the past decade, and you're now looking to fine-tune it to meet your future financial goals. Let's break down your situation and devise a strategic plan to achieve your objectives.

Assessment of Current Portfolio:

You have a robust real estate portfolio comprising five rental properties and a self-occupied residence. However, you also have a significant exposure to the Chinese market through mutual funds. While these investments have performed well historically, it's crucial to acknowledge the higher risk associated with international investments.

Your mutual fund portfolio, particularly the investments in Edelweiss Greater China Fund and Axis China Fund, has seen substantial growth. However, it's important to regularly review your portfolio's performance and adjust your investments as needed to mitigate risks and seize opportunities.

Planning for the Future:

Selling Apartment and Investing in China Fund: Selling one of your properties to invest in a China-focused fund could further diversify your portfolio. However, it's essential to consider the implications of concentrating your investments further in the Chinese market, especially given its volatility and geopolitical risks. Diversification across asset classes and regions is key to managing risk effectively.

Monthly Income and Wealth Creation Goals: Your target of generating a monthly income of 2 lakh rupees, including rental income, is ambitious but achievable with a strategic approach. Considering your current income streams and investments, it's feasible to gradually increase your SIP contributions to meet this target. However, it's essential to assess your risk tolerance and ensure that your investment strategy aligns with your long-term goals.

Investment Strategy: Given your desire to invest globally and your preference for a buy-on-dip strategy, you may consider exploring opportunities in international mutual funds or exchange-traded funds (ETFs) that offer exposure to diverse markets. However, it's crucial to conduct thorough research and consult with a financial advisor to select funds that align with your risk profile and investment objectives.

Recommendations:

Diversification: While international investments can offer growth opportunities, ensure that they complement your existing portfolio rather than increasing concentration risk. Consider diversifying across regions and asset classes to mitigate risk and enhance long-term returns.

Regular Portfolio Review: Continuously monitor the performance of your investments and make adjustments as needed to stay aligned with your financial goals. Regular portfolio reviews with a Certified Financial Planner can help identify opportunities for optimization and risk management.

Risk Management: Given the dynamic nature of financial markets, it's crucial to prioritize risk management and adopt a disciplined approach to investing. Avoid chasing short-term gains and focus on building a resilient portfolio that can withstand market volatility.

In conclusion, while your current portfolio reflects your proactive approach to wealth creation, it's essential to reassess your investment strategy periodically and make informed decisions to achieve your long-term financial objectives. By diversifying your investments, prioritizing risk management, and staying disciplined, you can work towards building a robust financial foundation for your family's future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

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A portfolio of 10 Crore in next 5 years. Want to start 80-90 k sip in MF but not in Indian market. YOUR ADVISE REQUIRED? Me and my wife jointly monthly income three Lakh per month. By profession I am a PVC flex material trader, my wife is training centre owner. Having two cute nd naughty son 4 yrs and 2 yrs old. Myself Vishal Choubey nd My wife shanti both aged 39 years. Having 5 houses Rental income arround 55k per month collectively. 1 CR term insurance for both of us in case something happens. An lic of 6 Lac going to mature 2026. Till 31st March 2024 PPF Vishal (10L)+ 10(L) shanti. Ujjivan bank 9k share @ 21rs, Mix share 2Lac. Edelweiss greater China 3.1Lacs, Axis China fund 5.2 Lakh, An sip of 49000/- in Nippon Taiwan current investment 7.37 Lakh market value 9.53 lakh, 3k sip in icici tax fund. Idfc tax fund an investment of 70k is now 2.6 Lakh, Many fund got doubled in last 3-4 years Approx 50 lakh MF portfolio. FD 14 Lakh. A land parcel of 1 acre approx 40 Lakh. All the assets are created in last 10yrs. Wish to sell one apartment and invest into China fund your advise required?
Ans: Vishal and Shanti, it's inspiring to see how diligently you've built your portfolio over the years, especially while juggling busy professional lives and raising two adorable sons. Your dedication to securing your family's future is truly commendable.

Considering your aspirations to grow your portfolio to 10 Crore in the next 5 years, diversifying your investments beyond the Indian market through SIPs in MFs is a prudent move. It reflects your forward-thinking approach to wealth creation.

Before deciding to sell one of your apartments to invest in the China fund, reflect on the potential risks and rewards. Are you comfortable with the level of exposure to international markets, especially given the current geopolitical climate? Would the sale of the apartment significantly impact your overall financial stability and future plans?

As a Certified Financial Planner, my advice would be to carefully evaluate your investment goals, risk tolerance, and the long-term prospects of the China fund before making any decisions. Your journey towards financial success is a testament to your hard work and resilience. Keep navigating with wisdom and foresight, always prioritizing the well-being of your family.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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A portfolio of 10 Crore in next 5 years. Want to start 80-90 k sip in MF but not in Indian market. YOUR ADVISE REQUIRED? Me and my wife jointly monthly income 3lakh per month. By profession I am a PVC flex material trader, my wife is training centre owner. Having two cute nd naughty son 4 yrs and 2 yrs old. Myself Vishal Choubey nd My wife shanti both aged 39 years. Having 5 houses Rental income arround 55k per month collectively. 1 CR term insurance for both of us in case something happens. An lic of 6 Lac going to mature 2026. Till 31st March 2024 PPF Vishal (10L)+ 10(L) shanti. Ujjivan bank 9k share @ 21rs, Mix share 2Lac. Edelweiss greater China 3.1Lacs, Axis China fund 5.2 Lakh, An sip of 49000/- in Nippon Taiwan current investment 7.37 Lakh market value 9.53 lakh, 3k sip in icici tax fund. Idfc tax fund an investment of 70k is now 2.6 Lakh, Many fund got doubled in last 3-4 years Approx 50 lakh MF portfolio. 14 Lakh. A land parcel of 1 acre approx 40 Lakh. All the assets are created in last 10yrs. Wish to sell one apartment and invest into China fund your advise required?
Ans: Hello Vishal and Shanti,

It's wonderful to see that you've built a substantial portfolio and are actively planning for your financial future. Let's address your queries and provide some advice:

Investment in International Markets:
Diversifying your investment portfolio by investing in international markets is a prudent strategy to mitigate risks and capture global growth opportunities.
Given your intention to start SIPs in MFs outside the Indian market, consider researching and selecting funds that focus on regions or countries with strong economic growth prospects, such as the US, Europe, or emerging markets like China.
Look for mutual funds or exchange-traded funds (ETFs) that have a track record of consistent performance and are managed by reputable fund houses with expertise in international markets.
Selling Apartment and Investing in China Fund:
Selling one of your apartments to invest in a China-focused fund can be a strategic move, provided you have thoroughly evaluated the risks and potential returns associated with investing in the Chinese market.
Consider factors such as geopolitical tensions, regulatory changes, and economic stability when making investment decisions in international markets.
Consult with a financial advisor to assess the suitability of this investment strategy based on your overall financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon.
Reviewing Existing Investments:
Periodically review your existing investments, including MFs, shares, and other assets, to ensure they remain aligned with your financial objectives and risk profile.
Take advantage of opportunities to rebalance your portfolio and reallocate funds to assets that offer better growth prospects or align with your evolving financial goals.
Risk Management and Insurance:
Continue prioritizing risk management by maintaining adequate insurance coverage, such as your term insurance policies, to protect your family's financial well-being in case of unforeseen events.
Regularly assess your insurance needs and consider updating your coverage as your financial circumstances change over time.
Long-Term Financial Planning:
Given your joint monthly income, rental income from properties, and diverse investment portfolio, continue focusing on long-term financial planning to achieve your goal of building a portfolio worth 10 Crore in the next 5 years.
Monitor your progress towards this goal regularly and make adjustments as necessary to stay on track.
Overall, your proactive approach to financial planning and willingness to explore international investment opportunities bodes well for your financial future. Continue seeking expert advice and stay disciplined in executing your investment strategies.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

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A portfolio of 10 Crore in next 5 years. Want to start 80-90 k sip in MF but not in Indian market. YOUR ADVISE REQUIRED? Me and my wife jointly monthly income 3lakh per month. By profession I am a PVC flex material trader, my wife is training centre owner. Having two cute nd naughty son 4 yrs and 2 yrs old. Myself Vishal Choubey nd My wife shanti both aged 39 years. Having 5 houses Rental income arround 55k per month collectively. 1 CR term insurance for both of us in case something happens. An lic of 6 Lac going to mature 2026. Till 31st March 2024 PPF Vishal (10L)+ 10(L) shanti. Ujjivan bank 9k share @ 21rs, Mix share 2Lac. Edelweiss greater China 3.1Lacs, Axis China fund 5.2 Lakh, An sip of 49000/- in Nippon Taiwan current investment 7.37 Lakh market value 9.53 lakh, 3k sip in icici tax fund. Idfc tax fund an investment of 70k is now 2.6 Lakh, Many fund got doubled in last 3-4 years Approx 50 lakh MF portfolio. FD 14 Lakh. A land parcel of 1 acre approx 40 Lakh. All the assets are created in last 10yrs. Wish to sell one apartment and invest into China fund your advise required?
Ans: It's evident that you've diligently built a diversified portfolio over the past decade, encompassing various asset classes and investment vehicles. Now, aiming to expand your investment horizon beyond the Indian market through SIPs in mutual funds indicates a forward-thinking approach.

Assessing Current Financial Position:

Your joint monthly income of Rs. 3 lakh, along with rental income from five houses, provides a stable foundation for further investment endeavors. Additionally, having term insurance coverage of Rs. 1 crore ensures financial security for your family in unforeseen circumstances.

Evaluating Investment Portfolio:

Your existing investment portfolio comprises a mix of equity funds, shares, PPF, FDs, and real estate. Notably, your investments in international funds such as Nippon Taiwan and Axis China Fund reflect a willingness to diversify geographically.

Considering Selling Apartment to Invest in China Fund:

Selling one apartment to invest in a China-focused fund is a strategic decision that warrants careful consideration. Before proceeding, assess the potential impact on your overall asset allocation, risk profile, and liquidity needs.

Benefits of Investing in International Markets:

Investing in international markets offers diversification benefits, reducing portfolio risk associated with domestic market fluctuations. Exposure to rapidly growing economies like China can potentially enhance portfolio returns over the long term.

Risks and Considerations:

However, investing in international markets entails currency risk, geopolitical factors, and regulatory uncertainties specific to the target country. Conduct thorough research and consult with a Certified Financial Planner to evaluate these risks and determine suitability.

SIP Allocation and Fund Selection:

Allocating Rs. 80-90,000 monthly SIP towards international funds aligns with your goal of expanding investment horizons. Consider diversified international funds with exposure to developed and emerging markets, ensuring a balanced risk-return profile.

Review and Rebalance:

Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure alignment with financial goals and risk tolerance. Rebalance asset allocation periodically to maintain diversification and optimize returns.

Conclusion:

Your proactive approach towards financial planning and willingness to explore international investment opportunities is commendable. Before selling the apartment, assess the potential impact on your overall portfolio and consult with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice tailored to your objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Money
Hello Ramalingam sir, Nice to see you are replying to numerous queries raised by young Indians. Thank you very much. I and my wife earn 4,60,000 per month(post tax), we both age at 39 years. Two kids(daughter 9 years, son 2 years). Our monthly portfolio & expenditure goes like below Debt(24% of 460K): PF -40K, VPF-20k , PPF-12.5k(yearly 150K), SSY for daughter-12.5k(yearly 150K), Bank RD-5k, NPS – tier1 – 20k. Total: 1,10,000/month Mutual fund (35% of 460k): Large cap – 63k, Mid cap – 48k, Small cap – 45K, Debt – 4k. Total 1,60,000/month. I will step up yearly by 10% once my loans closes(after 4 years). My aim to invest in mf till the age of 55. Loans(24% of 460k, remaining tenure 4 years): Home loan emi-75k, company car lease emi -35k. Total 1,10,000/month Monthly Expenditure(17% of 460k): 80K/month Real estate: I have 2 plots: one in my native purchased in 2012 at 5 lacs, current date value might be around 15 lacs. One more plot is in Bangalore, purchased in 2015 at 13 lacs, current date value might be around 30 lacs. I have own house in my native currently my parents stay( My parents have built this) but I will be staying here after my retirement. I Own a flat in Bangalore where I am currently staying, current value of the flat is 1.1cr Term insurance: I am planning to purchase in April 2025, the term insurance of 1.5 CR for myself(for my wife no term insurance) Group medical insurance for family(company sponsored, combined 10 lacs). No self-sponsored health insurance. My queries are as below 1) How much money I need post-retirement, current expenditure is 80,000/month, retirement age is 55, life expectancy 90 years? 2) How much monthly SWP I should do for current monthly expenditure of 80k. SWP will start when I turn 55 years. 3) Is company sponsored health insurance is fine till I retire. Or should I purchase (if yes what is the idle value for my case?). I don’t have smoking and drinking habits 4) Is 1.5cr of term insurance of mine is sufficient post 55 years? 5) What would be the rough inflation rate to consider? 6) Please suggest any modifications required for the above portfolio.
Ans: It’s great to see that you and your wife are disciplined savers and investors. Your current portfolio is well-structured with a balanced approach across different asset classes. Let's analyze and address your queries systematically.

1) How Much Money Do You Need Post-Retirement?
Your goal is to retire at age 55 with a life expectancy of 90 years. This means you are planning for 35 years of post-retirement life.

Your current monthly expenditure is Rs 80,000. Post-retirement, expenses may rise due to inflation. To plan accurately, considering a realistic inflation rate of around 6-7% is essential.

Therefore, you need a corpus that can generate enough income to sustain your lifestyle for 35 years. The target retirement corpus should be able to cover both your monthly expenses and potential medical emergencies.

You may also want to factor in inflation and potential increase in healthcare costs over time, which can take up a substantial portion of your budget post-retirement.

2) How Much Monthly SWP to Support Rs 80,000 Monthly Expenditure?
Once you retire, you can use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs) from mutual funds to receive a monthly income. Your current expenditure is Rs 80,000/month, which will need to be adjusted for inflation by the time you reach 55.

SWPs allow you to withdraw money regularly while keeping the remaining balance invested, which helps the corpus continue to grow. Ideally, you should withdraw an amount that does not deplete your portfolio too quickly.

If inflation is considered, the equivalent of Rs 80,000 today could be much higher by the time you retire. A corpus that generates Rs 1.5 lakh per month would be a good target. It’s advisable to have a large enough corpus that supports your lifestyle, even as costs rise over time.

You may need to gradually increase your SWP withdrawals over the years to ensure you keep up with rising expenses.

3) Is Company-Sponsored Health Insurance Sufficient?
While your company-sponsored health insurance of Rs 10 lakh covers your family for now, it’s important to consider having additional coverage. As you approach retirement, relying solely on company-sponsored health insurance may become risky.

Healthcare costs rise significantly with age, and a medical emergency could strain your finances if your coverage is inadequate.

Here’s why you should consider purchasing a separate health insurance policy:

Post-retirement health needs: Medical costs tend to increase with age, and company-sponsored insurance might no longer be available after retirement.

Inflation in healthcare: Healthcare inflation is higher than normal inflation, so you may need more coverage over time.

Consider a family floater health policy of Rs 20-30 lakh with top-ups as a backup plan.

This will ensure you are well-covered in case of any unforeseen medical situations, even after retirement.

4) Is Rs 1.5 Crore Term Insurance Sufficient Post-55?
You plan to purchase a term insurance policy of Rs 1.5 crore in April 2025. This is a good step to protect your family’s financial future. However, after the age of 55, your need for life insurance may reduce, as by then, you may have accumulated a substantial retirement corpus and other assets.

Here are a few factors to consider:

No loans: After the age of 55, you’ll likely have paid off your home loan and car lease, reducing the financial burden on your family.

Reduced liabilities: By 55, your children might become financially independent, reducing the need for large coverage.

However, Rs 1.5 crore term insurance for the next few decades is still a good option, especially if your retirement corpus falls short or you wish to leave behind a financial legacy for your children.

If your financial goals are on track and your corpus is adequate, you may consider reducing your insurance coverage post-55. For now, however, Rs 1.5 crore should be sufficient to cover your family’s needs in case of an unfortunate event.

5) What Would Be the Rough Inflation Rate to Consider?
Inflation plays a significant role in determining the real value of your savings over time. Historically, the average inflation rate in India has been around 6-7%.

For long-term financial planning, it’s safe to assume a 6-7% inflation rate while calculating your retirement corpus. Healthcare inflation is usually higher, often around 10-12%, so it’s crucial to account for that separately when planning for medical expenses post-retirement.

If inflation remains high, you’ll need to increase your investments accordingly to ensure your post-retirement income keeps up with rising costs.

6) Portfolio Suggestions and Modifications
Your portfolio is well-diversified with a focus on debt, mutual funds, and real estate. However, there are a few areas where minor adjustments can help you achieve your goals more efficiently.

Debt Investments (24% of Income):
You are currently investing a significant amount in debt instruments like PF, VPF, PPF, and SSY. These offer steady returns but may not beat inflation in the long run.

Your debt portion (24% of income) is appropriate given your age, but as you approach retirement, you may want to gradually increase your allocation to debt for capital preservation.

Continue with NPS Tier 1 contributions as this will provide tax benefits and help build a retirement corpus.

Mutual Fund Investments (35% of Income):
You have a good mix of large, mid, and small-cap mutual funds. However, you could consider slightly increasing the large-cap allocation as you approach your retirement age for stability.

Ensure you are investing in actively managed mutual funds rather than index or direct funds, as actively managed funds can outperform the benchmark over time.

Debt funds can offer better returns than RDs. You may want to consider increasing your allocation to short-term debt funds or dynamic bond funds for relatively safer returns compared to traditional bank RDs.

Loans (24% of Income):
Your loan EMIs are well within a reasonable portion of your income.

Since you plan to step up your SIPs by 10% once the loans close in 4 years, this is an excellent strategy to increase your investments while being debt-free.

Real Estate:
You have made some good investments in real estate with two plots and a flat. The current value of your flat (Rs 1.1 crore) and plots (total value Rs 45 lakh) gives you a significant real estate holding.

Since you already have multiple properties, it may be better to focus on financial assets (mutual funds, debt instruments) for future investments.

Insurance:
As discussed earlier, consider purchasing additional health insurance for your family.

The Rs 1.5 crore term insurance is sufficient for now, and you can review it post-retirement.

Final Insights
You are on the right track with your financial planning. Your portfolio is well-balanced, and you have a disciplined approach to savings and investments. A few key steps can further strengthen your financial position:

Increase health coverage beyond company-sponsored insurance.

Continue to step up your SIPs by 10% after your loans close.

Stick to actively managed mutual funds for higher potential returns over index funds or direct funds.

Plan your SWP carefully to ensure your post-retirement income keeps pace with inflation and healthcare needs.

Your current financial situation and discipline in managing expenses set you up for a comfortable retirement. With a few adjustments, you’ll be well-prepared to achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/holistic_investment_planners/

..Read more

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
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Most people give up.
You didn’t.
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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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