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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 23, 2024Hindi
Money

Dear Sir/Ma'am, I am 43 years old and need some wealth planning advise. My take home salary after PF deduction is 3 lakhs per month. I have following savings: PF - 77 Lakhs ; PPF (Between me and my wife) - 20 Lakhs ; Superannuation - 25 Lakhs ; ULIP - 15 Lakhs ; MF - 20 Lakhs ; Stocks (under loss of 3 lakhs) - 6 Lakhs ; Cash - 3 Lakhs. I have a 6 year old son for whom I invest 1.5 lakhs every year under ICICI perfect scheme. Post retirement (I am planning when I am 50), I want 1 lakh Rs per month. I have no debts as of now. Have one flat already occupied worth 1.5 Cr and booked another recently 1.1 CR which will be delivered in 2029 Mid. I stay in Bangalore

Ans: you are in a strong financial position with a diversified portfolio. Your goal is clear—to retire at 50 and secure a monthly income of Rs 1 lakh. Let’s carefully analyse your current savings and investments, and develop a strategy that ensures a comfortable retirement.

Review of Current Savings and Investments
Provident Fund (PF): Rs 77 Lakhs
This is a stable, long-term investment with tax-free benefits upon withdrawal. The balance will grow further until you retire, making it a solid base for your retirement corpus.

Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 20 Lakhs (combined between you and your wife)
PPF offers safe returns, though the lock-in period must be considered. It matures soon, and you can either withdraw or reinvest.

Superannuation: Rs 25 Lakhs
Your superannuation fund can serve as a key retirement income generator, especially since it offers regular payouts upon maturity.

ULIP: Rs 15 Lakhs
ULIP can sometimes have high charges. You may want to review the charges and see if switching to a better investment makes sense. However, if you hold it for a longer duration, it may deliver decent returns.

Mutual Funds (MF): Rs 20 Lakhs
Mutual funds are a crucial part of your portfolio. This investment needs to be nurtured with a balanced strategy. Keep your portfolio well-diversified with large-cap and mid-cap actively managed funds to boost growth potential.

Stocks: Rs 6 Lakhs (with Rs 3 lakh loss)
The stock market can be volatile, but it can also offer higher returns in the long run. Consider whether holding onto underperforming stocks is worth it or if reallocating to more stable options would benefit your overall portfolio.

Cash: Rs 3 Lakhs
This is useful for emergencies but earns no returns. You could consider investing some of this for better returns while keeping some liquidity for short-term needs.

Real Estate (Two Flats): Occupied flat worth Rs 1.5 Cr and another booked for Rs 1.1 Cr (due for delivery in 2029)
While real estate offers stability, the second property should be carefully evaluated. It locks up a large sum until completion. Focus on liquidity and other investments to support your retirement goals.

Addressing Your Retirement Goal
You plan to retire in 7 years, at 50, and need Rs 1 lakh per month post-retirement. Let’s analyse whether your current savings and investments can support this.

PF and Superannuation:
Your PF and superannuation combined will likely grow substantially by 50. This corpus will serve as a foundation for generating a steady income post-retirement. You can withdraw or set up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) to draw monthly income from these funds.

PPF and ULIP:
When your PPF matures, reinvesting the proceeds in a safer option could ensure steady growth without much risk. Similarly, you can evaluate if continuing ULIP is beneficial or if switching is a better option.

Mutual Funds and Stocks:
These should continue to form a core part of your portfolio. For consistent post-retirement income, you may consider shifting some of your mutual fund holdings to a balanced or conservative fund as you near retirement.

Investment Planning for Son's Education
You’ve been regularly investing Rs 1.5 lakhs per year for your son's future under the ICICI Perfect Scheme. This is a good start, but do ensure that this investment is flexible enough to adjust to changing financial needs. Review the scheme’s performance to see if it matches your long-term educational goals for your son.

Suggested Strategy for Your Portfolio
Diversify Further:
You have a strong base of investments, but further diversification into different asset classes, especially debt and hybrid mutual funds, could balance risk and return. These will give you a steady stream of income post-retirement.

Actively Managed Funds vs Index Funds:
If you have considered index funds, keep in mind that they simply track the market. Actively managed funds, especially through a qualified Certified Financial Planner, can provide better risk management. A professional manager can rebalance the portfolio to adapt to market conditions, thus optimizing returns.

Review Your Loss-Making Stocks:
Stocks with losses could be a drag on your portfolio. Evaluate whether holding them makes sense or if reallocating to more reliable sectors or large-cap stocks would be beneficial.

Tax Efficiency and Withdrawal Planning
You should also be mindful of the tax implications of your investments.

Capital Gains Tax:
Equity mutual funds incur 12.5% tax on LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakhs, and STCG is taxed at 20%. For debt mutual funds, both LTCG and STCG are taxed as per your tax slab.

Regular Withdrawal Plan:
To generate a steady Rs 1 lakh post-retirement income, consider SWPs from mutual funds. These provide a consistent cash flow while letting the rest of your portfolio continue to grow. Balance this with a mix of debt and hybrid funds to ensure a steady income stream with minimal risk.

Final Insights
You are on a sound financial path, and with careful adjustments, you can comfortably retire at 50. Focus on:

Diversifying your mutual funds
Re-evaluating ULIP charges
Minimizing underperforming stocks
Building a tax-efficient withdrawal strategy for your post-retirement income
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir , I am 53 and earning 1.5 lacs take home. I have 35L in PF, 30 L in superannuation, 30L in ppf , Shares worth 35L and FD 16 L .I have 3 Flats and my monthly rental from 2 flats is 28K. I have stll 6 years to go for retirement. I have 2 kids one persuing MBBS daughter and another 10th std. I have to save for my future with 50000 monthly and marriage of my kids. Kindly advise
Ans: At 53, earning Rs 1.5 lakhs per month, you have a solid financial base. With significant investments in PF, superannuation, PPF, shares, and FDs, plus rental income, you're well-prepared for retirement. Your primary goals now are saving for retirement, your children's education and marriages, and ensuring financial stability. Let’s develop a strategy to address these goals.

Compliments and Encouragement
First, congratulations on building a diverse and substantial portfolio! Your dedication and smart decisions have provided a strong foundation. It's commendable that you've thought ahead about your children's futures and your retirement.

Current Financial Assets
You have the following assets:

PF: Rs 35 lakhs
Superannuation: Rs 30 lakhs
PPF: Rs 30 lakhs
Shares: Rs 35 lakhs
FD: Rs 16 lakhs
Monthly Rental Income: Rs 28,000
Three Flats
Monthly Saving Capacity
With a take-home salary of Rs 1.5 lakhs and Rs 28,000 from rentals, you have a steady income. Allocating Rs 50,000 monthly towards savings is a prudent decision. Let's explore how to effectively utilize these savings.

Goals: Retirement and Children’s Education & Marriage
Your goals are clear and significant: funding your retirement and supporting your children's education and marriages. With six years until retirement, a focused and strategic approach is essential.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Continue with or start a SIP. SIPs provide disciplined investing and leverage the power of compounding. They also help in averaging out market volatility. Considering your Rs 50,000 monthly savings, allocate a portion to SIPs in equity mutual funds for long-term growth.

Portfolio Diversification
Diversification reduces risk and enhances returns. Here's how you can diversify:

Equity Mutual Funds
Allocate a part of your Rs 50,000 monthly savings to equity mutual funds. These funds are ideal for long-term growth and can help build a substantial corpus by the time you retire.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt mutual funds provide stability and preserve capital. They are suitable for short to medium-term goals, such as your children's education. Allocate a portion of your savings here to balance risk.

Hybrid Funds
Hybrid funds, which invest in both equity and debt, offer a balanced approach. They provide growth and stability, making them ideal for medium-term goals.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Opt for regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). A CFP offers valuable advice, periodic portfolio reviews, and rebalancing. Direct funds save on commissions but lack professional guidance, which can impact long-term returns.

Education and Marriage Fund
For your daughter's MBBS and son's education, consider opening a separate fund. Allocate part of your Rs 50,000 monthly savings to this fund. Use a mix of debt and equity mutual funds to match the timing of these expenses.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This fund ensures liquidity during unforeseen events without disrupting your long-term investments.

Evaluating Current Investments
Let’s analyze your current investments and how they fit into your overall strategy.

Provident Fund (PF) and Superannuation
These are secure investments providing guaranteed returns. Continue to keep these funds intact for retirement. They form the foundation of your retirement corpus.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is another safe investment with tax benefits. Continue investing in PPF to take advantage of compounding and tax-free returns.

Shares
Your shares worth Rs 35 lakhs are significant. Regularly review and rebalance this portfolio with the help of a CFP to maximize returns and manage risks.

Fixed Deposits (FDs)
FDs provide security but lower returns compared to other instruments. Keep them for liquidity and safety but consider gradually moving some funds to higher-yield investments.

Rental Income
Your Rs 28,000 monthly rental income is a steady source. Use this for day-to-day expenses or reinvest part of it for additional growth.

Insurance
Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance. Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies, as they usually offer lower returns. Opt for pure term insurance and invest the rest in mutual funds for better growth.

Retirement Planning
With six years to retirement, focus on building a substantial corpus. Calculate your post-retirement expenses and ensure your investments align to meet these needs. A mix of equity and debt funds will help maintain growth and stability.

Leveraging Technology
Use financial apps and platforms to track and manage your investments. These tools provide insights, track performance, and help in goal tracking.

Regular Portfolio Review and Rebalancing
Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals. Market conditions change, and so may your financial situation. A CFP can assist in rebalancing your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Maximizing Tax Efficiency
Utilize tax-saving instruments within your portfolio. Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) offer tax benefits under Section 80C and are a good addition. Plan your investments to minimize tax liabilities and maximize post-tax returns.

Educating Yourself
Continue educating yourself about financial products and market trends. This knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions and enhances your financial planning.

Monitoring Market Trends
Stay informed about market trends but avoid reacting to short-term fluctuations. Focus on long-term trends and adjust your strategy with the guidance of a CFP.

Final Insights
Achieving your financial goals requires disciplined saving, strategic investing, and regular review. With your current assets and monthly savings capacity, you're well-positioned to secure your retirement and support your children's education and marriages. Continue with SIPs, diversify your portfolio, and seek professional guidance. Your dedication and prudent planning will lead to financial success and stability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, I am 45 yrs , 2 boy kids age 14 and 8 years and old age parents with me . I am working in sales and marketing Overseas West African market within the pharmaceuticals industry. I have my own home of 1500 sq feet gross value in Nagpur 75 lac . I have did mutual fund investment of 4 lac in December 2023 ( one time investment ) , regular SIP 30,000 per month from last 2 years and more planning to invest 30,0000 per month from July 2024 .I had taken TATA AIA Ulip plan 1.5 Lac per annum for 5 years (dec 2022 . finished 2 years ) . Present FD @ 7% 10 lac with HDFC Bank. Around purchase 14 lac in Gold bars . Planning to take the Term plan for age 85 years premium annual 1.75Lac pee annum for next 10 years for risk cover 2 Cr . Monthly LIC policy going on 80,000 per annum from 15 years . I am planning my retirement in the age of 55 years to take care 100+ personally for my kids , Please suggest more best financial plans
Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach towards planning your future. Let's delve into your financial situation and explore ways to optimize your investments to achieve your goals. Here’s a detailed analysis and some tailored advice for you:

Current Financial Position
Age: 45 years
Children: 2 boys (14 and 8 years)
Parents: Old age and dependent
Profession: Sales and Marketing in West Africa for the pharmaceutical industry
Home: Own house in Nagpur, 1500 sq. ft., valued at Rs 75 lakhs

Mutual Fund Investment: Rs 4 lakhs (one-time in Dec 2023), SIP of Rs 30,000/month for 2 years, and planning to increase SIP to Rs 30,000 from July 2024

ULIP Plan: TATA AIA, Rs 1.5 lakhs/year, started in Dec 2022 (completed 2 years)

Fixed Deposit: Rs 10 lakhs with HDFC Bank at 7%

Gold Investment: Rs 14 lakhs in gold bars

Insurance: Planning a term plan of Rs 2 crores, premium Rs 1.75 lakhs/year for the next 10 years

LIC Policy: Rs 80,000/year, ongoing for 15 years

Retirement Goal: Planning to retire at 55 to care for kids and parents

You’ve made significant strides in securing your family’s future with thoughtful investments. Your proactive steps towards retirement and your dedication to your family’s well-being are commendable.

Mutual Funds: An Overview
Mutual funds are a great way to grow your wealth over time. They offer diversification, professional management, and the power of compounding. Let's break down the categories and advantages:

Equity Funds: These invest in stocks and are ideal for long-term growth. They can be categorized into large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and sector funds.
Debt Funds: These invest in fixed income securities like bonds. They are less risky than equity funds and provide regular income.
Hybrid Funds: These combine both equity and debt investments to balance risk and return.
Advantages: Professional management, diversification, liquidity, and potential for higher returns compared to traditional savings methods.

Current Investments Analysis
Your current investments show a balanced approach, but there’s room for optimization:

Mutual Funds
Your mutual fund investments are on the right track. Increasing your SIP to Rs 30,000/month is a good move. Here’s why actively managed funds might be better:

Professional Management: Actively managed funds are handled by experts who aim to outperform the market.
Flexibility: They can adjust portfolios based on market conditions.
Potential for Higher Returns: Although not guaranteed, they have the potential to deliver better returns than index funds.
ULIP Plan
ULIPs often combine insurance and investment, which might not always be the best. They have high charges and often underperform compared to mutual funds. You might want to reconsider this investment.

Fixed Deposit
FDs are safe but offer lower returns compared to other options. With 7% interest, it's relatively decent but won't beat inflation in the long run. Consider diversifying into more growth-oriented investments.

Gold Investment
Gold is a good hedge against inflation and currency risk. However, it doesn't generate regular income. It should remain a small part of your overall portfolio.

Suggested Financial Plans
Increase SIP Investments
You are already planning to increase your SIP. Ensure you diversify across various types of funds:

Large Cap Funds: Stable and less volatile.
Mid Cap and Small Cap Funds: Higher risk but potentially higher returns.
Debt Funds: To balance risk and provide stability.
Flexi Cap Funds: Offer flexibility to invest across market caps.
Re-evaluate ULIP
Consider surrendering your ULIP after understanding the surrender charges and reinvesting the amount into mutual funds for better returns.

Optimize Fixed Deposits
Since FDs offer lower returns, consider reducing the amount in FDs and reallocating to debt mutual funds, which can offer better post-tax returns.

Term Insurance
Your plan for a term insurance of Rs 2 crores is a prudent decision. It provides a high cover at a low cost, ensuring your family's financial security.

LIC Policy
Traditional LIC policies often have lower returns compared to mutual funds. If possible, assess the surrender value and consider reinvesting in more efficient financial instruments.

Retirement Planning
You aim to retire at 55. Here are steps to ensure you achieve a comfortable retirement:

Retirement Corpus Calculation
Estimate your retirement expenses considering inflation. You’ll need a substantial corpus to generate the desired monthly income.

Diversified Portfolio
Maintain a balanced portfolio with a mix of equity, debt, and gold to ensure growth and stability.

Regular Review
Review your investments periodically with a Certified Financial Planner to stay on track.

Children's Education Planning
Your children’s education is a significant future expense. Start a dedicated investment plan:

Child Education Funds
Invest in equity mutual funds to build a corpus for their higher education.

Education Insurance Plans
These plans can be considered for their dual benefit of insurance and savings for education.

Contingency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund to cover at least 6-12 months of expenses. This ensures you are prepared for any unforeseen events.

Estate Planning
Plan for the distribution of your assets. Create a will to ensure your assets are passed on as per your wishes.

Final Insights
Your current financial strategy is commendable, but optimizing your investments can help achieve your goals more efficiently. Regularly review and adjust your plan with a Certified Financial Planner to stay aligned with your objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

...Read more

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Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for Arranged Marriage Prospects. My Family has found a Prospect (27F) who seems like a Good Match, she's Well Educated, Earning Well & from the same Community. I haven't yet met her in Person, but connected with her on Social Media Platforms & interacting regularly. Recently, I scrolled through her Instagram Profile (It's a Public Profile). She seems to be a very Sociable Person, she has shared many Photos of herself, Partying/Travelling along with her Friends. My Problem is that she seems to like Wearing Clothes which are Revealing. She has shared many Photos/Videos, in which she's skimpily dressed (including some Bikini Photos at Beach/Swimming Pool). She also has a Pierced Navel Ring & Tattoos on some Private Parts like Chest, Hips, Thighs & Lower Back, which she flaunts proudly on Social Media. Though, I am not Judging her Character, based on her Choice of Clothing, but seeing all these made me a little Uncomfortable, as I am a very Modest & Simple Person myself. I have not discussed this issue with my Parents, as they have a very good opinion about her (which I don't want to Ruin). But I've discussed with some of my closest Friends (of both Genders) & some of them have Chided me for being so Judgemental. They suggested me to meet her atleast once in person, to understand what's her Character/Personality like. Shall I give it a try or Reject her Politely at this stage itself, without wasting any more Time (either her or mine)? Or am I being too Superficial to Judge a Woman, just based on her Social Media Profile, without even meeting her once, personally (This is what some of my closest Female Friends opined)? Please suggest me how to proceed with this Prospect in Arranged Marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it might come off as you being judgmental of her choice of dressing, but you have a right to form an opinion in your mind, especially since in your case, you might be marrying the person. As long as you are not making up your mind about her based on her dressing, forcing her to dress the way she wants, or thrusting your opinion on her, it's alright. It's human nature to be a bit jerked by the choices others make that we won't make ourselves. Having said that, I believe meeting her once in person can be good for you; you might have a new perspective- both about her and on life. But no one can force you to do either. My suggestion is that do what you think is right- if you are sure you will reject this alliance based on her choice of clothes, even if she is the nicest person on the face of the earth, meeting up might be a waste of time. But if you think you are open to changing your mind, go for it.

I would also like for you to remember one important point if things work out between the two of you- do not try to push your opinions on dressing and change the way she is after getting married. That would not be fair. In case, you start hoping that she will change and fit YOUR mold of the perfect woman, I would strongly suggest keeping that thought in check.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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