Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Suprabhat Question by Suprabhat on Feb 14, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

Dear Sir , I'm now at 53 years ; self employed person . So far managed to make a corpus of 50 L via MF ( 95% equity , 5% debt ) , holding a property of worth 40 L after repaying the loan at Kolkata . I do require a corpus of 2.5 cr after 8 years to maintain my retire life . Presently , I am able to invest much because of my income gone down and dont have spare fund to invest . Only , I am carrying 5000/- pm SIP in Mirae asset Large & mid cap & Axis small cap . I want to understand , how can reach the goal ? Please advice .

Ans: It's admirable how you've diligently built your financial foundation despite the challenges. Your proactive approach to planning is commendable. Considering your current situation, it's essential to reassess your strategy. Have you explored options to optimize your expenses and potentially increase your savings? Additionally, have you considered the impact of inflation on your target corpus?

A Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your aspirations and limitations. They can help you recalibrate your investment portfolio, ensuring a balanced approach that aligns with your risk tolerance and long-term goals. While your current SIPs are a step in the right direction, diversifying your investments further could enhance your potential returns.

Remember, financial planning is a journey, not a destination. Stay focused on your objectives, and with careful planning and guidance, you'll navigate through any challenges towards a secure and fulfilling retirement.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Me and my wife have a corpus of 45 lakhs invested in various MFs and currently doing SIPs of 65000 pm in large/mid and small segments. Apart from that very negligible amount is invested in PPF (3lakhs). I am 43 and my wife is 42 yrs old and have 2 child(11 yrs amd 5 yrs). What is the best way to create a corpus of 1 cr for their education needs in around 8- 10 years and saving for my retirement. Obligation 66 lakhs home loan going on with emi of 54000 pm. Kindly suggest
Ans: Creating a Robust Financial Plan for Education and Retirement

Congratulations on your disciplined approach towards savings and investments. Your commitment to securing a financial future for your family is commendable. Let's assess your current situation and explore strategies to create a corpus of ?1 crore for your children's education and plan for your retirement.

Current Financial Situation
Corpus in Mutual Funds: ?45 lakhs
Monthly SIPs: ?65,000 in large, mid, and small-cap segments
PPF Investment: ?3 lakhs
Home Loan: ?66 lakhs with an EMI of ?54,000 per month
Children's Ages: 11 and 5 years
Goals
Education Corpus: ?1 crore in 8-10 years
Retirement Planning
Education Planning Strategy
Assessing the Required Investment
To achieve ?1 crore in 8-10 years, you need a strategic investment approach. Mutual funds, particularly those with a strong track record, can help achieve this goal.

Diversification and Allocation
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity funds are ideal for long-term goals due to their potential for high returns. Given your timeline, a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds would be prudent. These funds provide a balance of stability and growth.

Balanced Advantage Funds
These funds adjust their allocation between equity and debt based on market conditions. They offer growth potential with lower volatility, suitable for medium to long-term goals.

Debt Mutual Funds
As you approach your goal, gradually shifting a portion of your corpus to debt funds can help preserve capital. Debt funds are less volatile and provide stable returns.

Suggested Investment Allocation
Continue Existing SIPs
Maintain your current SIPs of ?65,000 per month in large, mid, and small-cap funds. These segments offer diversification and growth potential.

Increase SIP Amount Gradually
As your income grows, consider increasing your SIP amount. Even a small increase can significantly impact your corpus over time.

Separate Education Fund
Open a separate investment account dedicated to your children's education. Allocate a portion of your SIPs specifically towards this goal.

Retirement Planning Strategy
Review and Realign
Assess Current Investments
Review your current mutual fund investments. Ensure they are aligned with your long-term retirement goals. A mix of equity and balanced advantage funds can provide growth and stability.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Although your PPF investment is currently negligible, consider increasing contributions. PPF offers tax benefits and guaranteed returns, making it a safe and effective long-term investment.

Regular Monitoring
Regularly review your portfolio. Rebalance it to maintain the desired asset allocation and risk profile. Consulting a certified financial planner (CFP) can provide personalized guidance.

Home Loan Management
Balancing EMI and Investments
EMI Affordability
Your home loan EMI is significant at ?54,000 per month. Ensure this does not compromise your ability to invest for future goals. Balancing EMI payments with investments is crucial.

Prepayment Strategy
Consider making periodic prepayments on your home loan. Reducing your loan principal can save on interest and shorten the loan tenure. Ensure this does not affect your investment capacity for education and retirement.

Conclusion
Achieving ?1 crore for your children's education in 8-10 years and planning for retirement is feasible with a strategic approach. Continue your disciplined SIP investments, consider increasing your PPF contributions, and regularly review and rebalance your portfolio. Managing your home loan effectively will also play a critical role. Consulting a certified financial planner can provide tailored advice and ensure your financial goals are met efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, I am 37 yrs old, single and earning 1lac per month. I invest 21K in 4 types of MF - Flexi cap, multicap, small cap, large cap equally distributed, 5,000 in NPS tier 1 & 2,500 in NPS tier 2, 5,000 in PPF, 6,500 SIP in smallcase stocks, I'm also trying to manage trading and having housing Loan EMI of 37,500 every month. How can I generate substantial corpus for my retirement. I'm planning to have around 10Cr. Please guide
Ans: I appreciate your dedication to securing your financial future. You're already making commendable strides towards building a substantial corpus for your retirement. Let's explore how to optimize your current investments and plan strategically to achieve your retirement goal of Rs. 10 crore.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
Monthly Income and Investment Allocation
You have a monthly income of Rs. 1 lakh. Your current investments are:

Rs. 21,000 in various mutual funds (Flexi cap, multicap, small cap, large cap).
Rs. 5,000 in NPS Tier 1.
Rs. 2,500 in NPS Tier 2.
Rs. 5,000 in PPF.
Rs. 6,500 SIP in smallcase stocks.
Rs. 37,500 in housing loan EMI.
This is a well-diversified portfolio, but let's delve deeper into each component to see if there are opportunities for optimization.

Evaluating Your Mutual Fund Portfolio
Distribution Across Funds
Investing Rs. 21,000 equally in four types of mutual funds is a good start. Here’s an analysis of each category:

Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi cap funds provide flexibility by investing in companies across market capitalizations. This can offer a balanced risk-return profile.

Multicap Funds
Multicap funds invest in large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap companies. This diversification can help mitigate risks associated with a particular segment.

Small Cap Funds
Small cap funds can provide high growth potential but come with higher risk. Ensure these investments align with your risk tolerance.

Large Cap Funds
Large cap funds are generally more stable and less volatile. They can provide steady returns with lower risk compared to small cap funds.

Recommendations for Mutual Funds
Consider reviewing the performance of each fund. Actively managed funds often outperform index funds, offering better returns. Working with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help you select the best-performing funds in each category.

National Pension System (NPS) Investment
Tier 1 and Tier 2 Accounts
NPS Tier 1 is a retirement account with tax benefits. Tier 2 is a voluntary account with more flexibility.

NPS Tier 1
Your Rs. 5,000 monthly contribution in NPS Tier 1 is good for long-term retirement savings. The tax benefits under Section 80CCD(1B) are an added advantage.

NPS Tier 2
NPS Tier 2 doesn't offer tax benefits but provides liquidity. If you're not using this fund frequently, consider whether the returns meet your expectations.

Maximizing NPS Benefits
Ensure your NPS portfolio is appropriately allocated between equity, corporate bonds, and government securities to balance risk and returns. Discuss with a CFP to optimize your asset allocation within NPS.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Long-Term Security
PPF is a safe investment with tax-free returns, ideal for long-term goals. Your Rs. 5,000 monthly contribution will grow steadily over time.

Recommendations
Continue contributing to PPF for its tax-free returns and stability. It provides a solid foundation for your retirement corpus.

Smallcase Stocks and Trading
SIP in Smallcase Stocks
Investing Rs. 6,500 monthly in smallcase stocks is a strategic move. Smallcases offer a curated basket of stocks, making stock investing simpler.

Trading Activities
Active trading can be risky and may lead to losses if not managed carefully. Given your past experience, consider limiting trading activities.

Recommendations
Focus on long-term investments over active trading. Use smallcases for diversified exposure to stocks, and avoid speculative trading.

Housing Loan EMI
Managing Debt
Your housing loan EMI of Rs. 37,500 is a significant monthly expense. Ensure that this loan doesn't hinder your investment capabilities.

Recommendations
Consider prepaying the housing loan if you have surplus funds. This can reduce interest outgo and free up cash flow for investments.

Strategies to Reach Rs. 10 Crore Retirement Corpus
Goal Setting and Time Horizon
You have around 23 years until a typical retirement age of 60. Here’s a strategic plan to achieve your goal:

Increase SIP Amount Gradually
As your income grows, increase your SIP amounts. Aim to invest at least 30-40% of your monthly income.

Diversify Across Asset Classes
Ensure a good mix of equity, debt, and alternative investments. This can help balance risk and returns.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Monitor Portfolio Performance
Regularly review your portfolio’s performance. Rebalance your investments to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Seek Professional Advice
A CFP can help you navigate complex financial decisions and optimize your investment strategy.

Tax Efficiency
Utilize Tax Benefits
Maximize contributions to tax-saving instruments like PPF, NPS, and ELSS funds. This can reduce your taxable income and increase investable surplus.

Long-Term Capital Gains
Invest in equity instruments with a long-term perspective to benefit from lower capital gains tax.

Detailed Investment Plan
Equity Investments
Equities offer high growth potential. Allocate a significant portion of your portfolio to equity mutual funds and smallcases.

High Growth Funds
Focus on funds with a track record of high returns. Avoid index funds, as actively managed funds tend to perform better in the Indian market.

Regular Monitoring
Monitor the performance of equity funds regularly. Switch to better-performing funds if necessary.

Debt Investments
Debt instruments provide stability and regular income.

Balanced Portfolio
Include debt mutual funds, PPF, and NPS in your portfolio. This provides a safety net during market volatility.

Alternative Investments
Gold and Commodities
Consider investing in gold ETFs or commodities for diversification. Gold can act as a hedge against inflation.

International Funds
Invest in international funds for global exposure. This can diversify risk and provide opportunities in different markets.

Financial Discipline and Planning
Regular Savings and Investments
Consistently save and invest a portion of your income. Automate your investments to ensure regular contributions.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This can provide financial security during unforeseen events.

Insurance Coverage
Ensure adequate life and health insurance coverage. This protects your family and preserves your investments in case of emergencies.

Final Insights
Achieving a Rs. 10 crore retirement corpus is a commendable goal. Your current investment strategy is on the right track. However, optimizing your portfolio and increasing investments can accelerate your progress.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to refine your investment strategy and ensure you are on the path to financial success. Regularly review your portfolio, stay disciplined with your investments, and make informed decisions to achieve your retirement goals.

Best regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Money
I am 31, salary is 40k, having debt 2.1 lacs, Mutual fund portfolio value is 6.7 lacs with sip of 11000 monthly, epf 3.8 lacs, gold-6 lacs, Emergency fund 2.7 lacs in savings. What is the right way for me to create corpus of 1 cr by age 40yrs?
Ans: It's great that you are taking a proactive approach to secure your financial future. Let's break down the steps and strategies you need to follow to create a corpus of Rs 1 crore by the time you are 40 years old. Given your current financial status and goals, we'll look at a comprehensive plan to help you achieve this target.

Current Financial Situation
Income and Savings:

Salary: Rs 40,000/month
Monthly SIP: Rs 11,000
Assets:

Mutual Fund Portfolio: Rs 6.7 lakhs
EPF: Rs 3.8 lakhs
Gold: Rs 6 lakhs
Emergency Fund: Rs 2.7 lakhs in savings
Liabilities:

Debt: Rs 2.1 lakhs
Steps to Achieve Rs 1 Crore by Age 40
To achieve your goal, you need a structured plan that involves reducing debt, optimizing savings, and investing wisely.

Debt Reduction
Prioritize Debt Repayment:

Focus on paying off your Rs 2.1 lakhs debt first.
Allocate any additional savings towards debt repayment.
Reducing debt will free up more funds for investments.
Avoid High-Interest Loans:

Refrain from taking high-interest loans like credit cards or personal loans.
This will prevent you from accumulating more debt.
Maintain Good Credit:

Paying off your debt promptly improves your credit score.
A good credit score helps in getting loans at lower interest rates if needed.
Emergency Fund Management
Maintain Adequate Emergency Fund:

Ensure you have 6-12 months of expenses in your emergency fund.
This will cover unexpected expenses without affecting your investments.
Savings Account:

Keep your emergency fund in a high-interest savings account or a liquid mutual fund.
This ensures liquidity and some growth on your emergency fund.
Optimizing Investments
Mutual Funds
Increase SIP Contributions:

Gradually increase your SIP contributions as your income grows.
Aim to allocate at least 20-30% of your salary towards investments.
Diversify Portfolio:

Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.
Diversification reduces risk and improves returns.
Actively Managed Funds:

Choose actively managed funds over index funds.
Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the market.
Regular Reviews:

Review your mutual fund portfolio every 6 months.
Make adjustments based on fund performance and market conditions.
Gold Investments
Limit Gold Investments:

Gold is a good hedge but should not be a primary investment.
Limit gold to 10-15% of your total investment portfolio.
Consider Gold ETFs:

Invest in gold ETFs for better liquidity and market-linked returns.
This avoids the risks and costs associated with physical gold.
Additional Investment Strategies
Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Maximize PPF Contributions:

PPF offers tax benefits and attractive interest rates.
Contribute up to the maximum limit (Rs 1.5 lakhs/year).
Long-Term Growth:

PPF is a long-term investment with a lock-in period of 15 years.
It's a safe investment with guaranteed returns.
Employee Provident Fund (EPF)
Continue EPF Contributions:

EPF is a low-risk investment with employer contributions.
It's a good long-term investment with tax benefits.
Monitor EPF Balance:

Keep track of your EPF balance and ensure contributions are being made regularly.
Importance of Compounding
Start Early:

The earlier you start investing, the more you benefit from compounding.
Your existing investments will grow significantly over time.
Stay Invested:

Avoid withdrawing from your investments prematurely.
Staying invested allows your money to grow through compounding.
Reinvest Returns:

Reinvest dividends and interest earned from your investments.
This enhances the compounding effect.
Tax Planning
Utilize Tax-Saving Instruments:

Invest in tax-saving instruments like ELSS, PPF, and EPF.
This reduces your taxable income and saves money.
Section 80C Deductions:

Make full use of Section 80C deductions (up to Rs 1.5 lakhs/year).
This includes investments in PPF, ELSS, and EPF.
Health Insurance:

Get health insurance to cover medical expenses.
Premiums paid are eligible for tax deductions under Section 80D.
Regular Monitoring and Adjustments
Periodic Reviews:

Review your financial plan every 6 months.
Adjust your investments based on performance and changing goals.
Stay Informed:

Keep abreast of market trends and new investment opportunities.
Staying informed helps in making better investment decisions.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner:

Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice.
A professional can help you fine-tune your financial strategy.
Final Insights
Your financial journey requires careful planning and disciplined execution. Here are some final insights to help you achieve your goal of Rs 1 crore by age 40:

Focus on Debt Reduction: Pay off your existing debt to free up more funds for investments.
Increase Investment Contributions: Gradually increase your SIP contributions as your income grows.
Diversify Investments: Maintain a diversified portfolio to reduce risk and maximize returns.
Leverage Compounding: Start early and stay invested to benefit from the power of compounding.
Regular Reviews: Regularly review and adjust your financial plan to stay on track.
By following these steps and maintaining discipline, you can achieve your financial goals and secure a comfortable future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I (30M) am looking for Arranged Marriage Prospects. My Family has found a Prospect (27F) who seems like a Good Match, she's Well Educated, Earning Well & from the same Community. I haven't yet met her in Person, but connected with her on Social Media Platforms & interacting regularly. Recently, I scrolled through her Instagram Profile (It's a Public Profile). She seems to be a very Sociable Person, she has shared many Photos of herself, Partying/Travelling along with her Friends. My Problem is that she seems to like Wearing Clothes which are Revealing. She has shared many Photos/Videos, in which she's skimpily dressed (including some Bikini Photos at Beach/Swimming Pool). She also has a Pierced Navel Ring & Tattoos on some Private Parts like Chest, Hips, Thighs & Lower Back, which she flaunts proudly on Social Media. Though, I am not Judging her Character, based on her Choice of Clothing, but seeing all these made me a little Uncomfortable, as I am a very Modest & Simple Person myself. I have not discussed this issue with my Parents, as they have a very good opinion about her (which I don't want to Ruin). But I've discussed with some of my closest Friends (of both Genders) & some of them have Chided me for being so Judgemental. They suggested me to meet her atleast once in person, to understand what's her Character/Personality like. Shall I give it a try or Reject her Politely at this stage itself, without wasting any more Time (either her or mine)? Or am I being too Superficial to Judge a Woman, just based on her Social Media Profile, without even meeting her once, personally (This is what some of my closest Female Friends opined)? Please suggest me how to proceed with this Prospect in Arranged Marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it might come off as you being judgmental of her choice of dressing, but you have a right to form an opinion in your mind, especially since in your case, you might be marrying the person. As long as you are not making up your mind about her based on her dressing, forcing her to dress the way she wants, or thrusting your opinion on her, it's alright. It's human nature to be a bit jerked by the choices others make that we won't make ourselves. Having said that, I believe meeting her once in person can be good for you; you might have a new perspective- both about her and on life. But no one can force you to do either. My suggestion is that do what you think is right- if you are sure you will reject this alliance based on her choice of clothes, even if she is the nicest person on the face of the earth, meeting up might be a waste of time. But if you think you are open to changing your mind, go for it.

I would also like for you to remember one important point if things work out between the two of you- do not try to push your opinions on dressing and change the way she is after getting married. That would not be fair. In case, you start hoping that she will change and fit YOUR mold of the perfect woman, I would strongly suggest keeping that thought in check.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x