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Mutual Funds Expert - Answered on Dec 14, 2022

Nikunj Saraf has more than five years of experience in financial markets and offers advice about mutual funds. He is vice president at Choice Wealth, a financial institution that offers broking, insurance, loans and government advisory services. Saraf, who is a member of the Institute Of Chartered Accountants of India, has a strong base in financial markets and wealth management.... more
Sanjeev Question by Sanjeev on Dec 14, 2022Hindi
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I am investing Rs 6000 Monthly through SIPs from last 2 years, and planning to invest more. Sir below is my portfolio. It would be great help to me if you suggest some good fund by reshuffling the below portfolio, as fund 3 of the below portfolio, is underperforming from last three years.

1. Aditya Birla Sunlife Multi Cap Fund-regular growth -- Rs 1000

2. Invesco India Flexi Cap Fund-regular plan growth -- Rs 1000

3. Invesco Global Consumer Trends funds of Funds-Regular growth -- Rs 1000

4. Kotak Emerging Equity fund growth -- Rs 1000

5. Kotak Tax Saver Fund Growth (ELSS) -- Rs 500 6.

6. Union Long Term Equity Fund Growth Regular Plan -- Rs 1500

Ans: Hello Sanjeev. While analysing your portfolio, I would suggest reconsidering all schemes except Kotak Tax Saver Fund.

Sectoral/ Thematic funds are aggressive risk funds. They follow one sector or theme-based companies to invest. Also, it's for the long term with a horizon of at least 8 years. When investing in such a category, your investment proportion should not exceed 15-20% of your total investment.

Additionally explore the categories like large & mid cap, mid cap and flexi cap for your portfolio.

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2024Hindi
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Iam investing monthly sip in below funds my age-34 1-Icici prudential bluechipfund-3000 2-Nippon India growth fund -3000 My monthly investment amount max-10000 pls suggest my portfolio any correction sir some good funds for long term
Ans: You're already on the right track with your disciplined approach to investing in SIPs. Let's review your portfolio and explore potential adjustments for long-term growth.

Investing in ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund and Nippon India Growth Fund reflects a balanced mix of large-cap and diversified equity exposure, which is suitable for long-term wealth accumulation.

However, to further diversify your portfolio and potentially enhance returns, consider adding funds from different categories like mid-cap or flexi-cap funds. These categories offer exposure to companies with different market capitalizations and investment styles, thus spreading your risk more effectively.

Mid-cap funds invest in companies with medium-sized market capitalizations, which often have higher growth potential than large-caps but come with increased volatility. Flexi-cap funds provide the flexibility to invest across market caps, allowing fund managers to capitalize on market opportunities across the spectrum.

Adding a mid-cap or flexi-cap fund to your portfolio can complement your existing investments and provide additional avenues for growth. Look for funds with a track record of consistent performance, experienced fund managers, and a robust investment process.

Remember to review your portfolio periodically and rebalance if necessary to ensure it remains aligned with your long-term financial goals and risk tolerance.

Keep up the good work with your investments, and don't hesitate to reach out to a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice tailored to your specific needs and objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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I am 43 years old and a salaried person. Started in SIP in 2018. Kindly suggest about the funds. Following are my current mutual fund investments: 1) Franklin India Prima fund Rs.1000 2) Invesco India Contra Fund Rs.6000 3) Kotak flexicap fund Rs.4000 4) Mirae Large & midcap fund Rs.2000 5) Axis Bluchip fund 3500 6) Sbi Banking & financial service fund Rs.3500 7) Axis Small cap fund Rs.5000. All i have monthly SIP. please suggest me if any changes require.
Ans: It's great to see that you've started investing in mutual funds through SIPs. Here are some suggestions regarding your current mutual fund investments:

• Diversification: You have a good mix of funds across various categories, which is essential for diversification. It's important to spread your investments across different sectors and market capitalizations to reduce risk.

• Review Performance: Periodically review the performance of your funds to ensure they are meeting your expectations and performing in line with their peers and benchmarks.

• Consider Your Goals: Reflect on your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon to determine if your current funds align with your objectives. If you have specific goals such as retirement planning or wealth accumulation, consider adjusting your portfolio accordingly.

• Evaluate Fund Managers: Assess the track record and expertise of the fund managers managing your investments. Look for consistency in performance and a clear investment strategy aligned with your goals.

• Stay Informed: Keep yourself updated with market trends, economic developments, and changes in regulations that may impact your investments. Stay connected with your financial advisor or conduct your research to make informed decisions.

• Seek Professional Advice: Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a qualified financial advisor to get personalized advice based on your financial situation and goals. They can provide valuable insights and recommendations tailored to your needs.

Overall, while your current mutual fund portfolio appears well-diversified, it's essential to periodically review and adjust your investments based on changes in your financial situation and market conditions. By staying disciplined and informed, you can work towards achieving your financial goals effectively.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 13, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi sir Kindly review my portfolio.. Investing below amount in SIP 1)Large cap - Axis 4500 Nippon 4500 2) Flexi cap - Parag parikh - 3000 Icici - 2500 3) Mid cap - Motilal - 2500 Aditya birla - 500 Kotak - 500 4) Small cap Tata - 1500 My goal for investing is my child education, child marriage and Retirement funds I planning to invest for next 15 years Kindly suggest which and all mutual fund I have to continue and remove for better returns.. Thank you
Ans: It’s great to see that you’re committed to securing funds for your child’s education, marriage, and retirement. These are critical milestones, and with the right approach, your investments can help you achieve them effectively.

Investment Goals and Approach

You have clear long-term objectives, which is ideal. Planning with specific goals like education, marriage, and retirement brings purpose to your investment journey. Given the 15-year investment horizon, you can take advantage of compounding benefits, especially with equity mutual funds. However, let’s ensure your portfolio is optimized for growth, risk, and tax efficiency.

Evaluating Your Mutual Fund Choices

Let’s look at your current investments across various categories:

1. Large Cap Funds
Large-cap funds provide stability, as they invest in established companies with relatively lower volatility. However, there can be limited scope for very high growth in large caps compared to mid or small caps.

You’re invested in two large-cap funds. It’s often advisable to focus on one high-performing large-cap fund to avoid overlap and unnecessary diversification.

Consider retaining a large-cap fund that has a consistent track record, active fund management, and strong research backing.

2. Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi-cap funds offer flexibility by investing across market caps. This allows the fund manager to capture growth opportunities in any segment of the market.

Holding two flexi-cap funds is fine, as it balances large and mid-cap stocks, offering both stability and growth. However, evaluate each fund’s performance and select one if you feel any duplication in returns.

3. Mid Cap Funds
Mid-cap funds offer growth potential but come with higher risk. Given your long-term horizon, they can be beneficial.

You currently have three mid-cap funds. It might be better to consolidate into one or two top-performing funds in this category to reduce excessive overlap and diversify across sectors rather than just fund names.

4. Small Cap Fund
Small-cap funds are suitable for aggressive growth but can be highly volatile. It’s wise to limit exposure to small caps, as they tend to fluctuate significantly, especially over shorter timeframes.

Given your portfolio composition, your allocation to small caps is moderate, which seems appropriate. However, ensure you are comfortable with the high-risk nature of small caps, especially if the market faces downturns.

Analysis of Direct vs. Regular Funds

Opting for direct funds might appear attractive due to lower expense ratios, but it’s crucial to weigh the potential downsides:

Lack of Guidance: Direct funds lack the guidance a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can offer. Expert support ensures your portfolio is regularly rebalanced and aligned with market changes, personal goals, and tax updates.

Regular Tracking: With a CFP’s help, your investments are reviewed frequently, making timely adjustments in case of underperformance. This hands-on approach is particularly helpful in achieving your long-term goals.

Tax Considerations: Regular funds through a CFP can help you optimize tax efficiency by offering proactive advice on capital gains, loss harvesting, and adjusting investments according to the new capital gains tax rules.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds

While index funds may seem attractive for their lower costs, actively managed funds bring added advantages, especially for long-term investors like you:

Potential for Higher Returns: Skilled fund managers actively seek growth opportunities that can outperform benchmarks over time. This could be a significant advantage given your long-term goals.

Flexibility in Market Movements: Active funds allow managers to make informed changes, adapting to market conditions and potentially protecting your investments during volatile phases.

Diverse Exposure: With active management, your funds are better diversified across sectors and stocks, reducing concentration risk and enhancing the potential for stable returns.

Investment Strategy Recommendations

Considering your goals and time horizon, here’s a comprehensive approach to optimize your portfolio:

Consolidate Fund Choices: Consider reducing similar funds within each category. This will provide clarity and focus, making it easier to track progress and reduce management complexity.

Review and Rebalance: Regularly review your portfolio performance, preferably with a CFP, to ensure each fund aligns with your risk tolerance and goals. Aim for annual rebalancing to stay on track.

Allocate Based on Goals: Assign specific funds for each goal. For example:

Child’s Education and Marriage: Given the moderate-to-high timeframe, allocate funds with a mix of stability (large-cap and flexi-cap funds) and growth (mid-cap).
Retirement: Invest in a diversified mix of flexi-cap and large-cap funds, along with a smaller allocation to mid-caps, as retirement is a long-term goal with a potentially higher investment horizon.
Avoid Overlapping: Limit overlap between funds by choosing those with unique holdings or management strategies. Too many funds can dilute returns, especially if they invest in similar stocks.

Tax Considerations

With recent changes in capital gains tax rules, be mindful of the following when planning exits or rebalancing:

Equity Mutual Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are now taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds: LTCG and STCG for debt funds are taxed according to your income tax slab.

Tax Efficiency: To minimize tax outgo, hold investments for the long term and consult a CFP for tax-optimized rebalancing.

Investment Horizon: Sticking to your 15-year investment plan can help mitigate tax impacts and optimize returns.

Insurance Evaluation

If you hold any LIC, ULIP, or investment-linked insurance policies, review their performance and fees. These products often come with high costs, which can limit returns. Consider surrendering such policies if they don’t align with your goals and reinvest in well-performing mutual funds instead.

Finally

Your commitment to a 15-year SIP plan shows your dedication to securing your family’s future. A structured, diversified approach with periodic reviews can enhance your portfolio’s performance, aligning it with your goals of education, marriage, and retirement.

A Certified Financial Planner can be a valuable partner in this journey, providing expert advice to help you make the most of your investments and adjust them as needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Dear Counselor, My husband and I have been together for 11 years, with 10 years of dating and 1 year of marriage. Unfortunately, our relationship has been strained over the past year due to financial disagreements. Before marriage, we discussed his personal loan, which was taken for a land purchase for his mother. The loan repayment amounts to 30% of his salary. He assured me that, except for this loan repayment, he would not contribute financially to his parents' expenses until the loan was paid off. However, his parents are now pressuring him to increase his financial support by 20%. They claim to need help clearing their debts, despite being below 45, physically fit, and earning a sufficient income to support themselves. This situation is causing tension in our marriage, as we had planned to save and invest together, having no property or financial security of our own. I'm finding it challenging to understand why my husband is not prioritizing our financial goals and future together. please help me on this. Thank you for your time and guidance.
Ans: The key here is to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Your husband likely feels a strong sense of duty towards his parents, which is understandable given cultural and familial expectations. However, it’s also important for him to recognize the commitments and plans you’ve both made as a couple. Balancing these two responsibilities can be difficult, but it’s essential for the health of your relationship.

Start by having a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how the situation affects both of you and your shared goals. It’s important that he understands your perspective and how the financial strain is impacting not only your plans but also your emotional well-being.

Encourage him to discuss his feelings and the pressure he’s experiencing from his parents. Sometimes, partners may feel caught between their familial obligations and their commitments to their spouse, leading to stress and internal conflict. Understanding his point of view can help you find common ground.

You might also explore practical solutions together, such as setting clear boundaries on financial support or finding a compromise that allows both your goals and his familial obligations to be met to some extent. This could involve budgeting, setting financial priorities, or seeking financial counseling to help manage the situation more effectively.

Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance that respects both of your needs and ensures that your marriage remains a priority. By working together and communicating openly, you can navigate this challenge and strengthen your relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.
Asked on - Jan 15, 2025 | Answered on Jan 15, 2025
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Thank you very much for ur reply. But i am finding difficult to forget her.
Ans: It might be helpful to focus on the following steps to move forward:

Acceptance: Accept that the relationship has ended and that continuing to hold on to it may be preventing you from healing. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to stop loving her immediately, but it does mean recognizing that the relationship is no longer viable.
Self-Care: Prioritize your emotional well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can help you through this process. Consider exploring new hobbies or interests that can redirect your focus and bring positive energy into your life.
Boundaries: It might be time to set boundaries with your ex-wife, especially if staying in contact is causing you more pain. Taking a step back from communication can provide the space you need to heal and gain clarity.
Professional Support: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and guide you through the healing journey. Professional support can offer valuable tools and strategies to navigate the complex emotions you’re experiencing.
Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to grieve the loss of the relationship. With patience and self-compassion, you can move forward, find peace, and eventually open yourself up to new possibilities and happiness in life.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?
Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide
Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

DineshQuestion by Dinesh - Oct 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My age is 48 years and i have one son aged 17 years and i am single son of my parents ,one and half year back my wife expired and upon insisted by my parents and close relatives i got remarried and she has one girl aged 8 years, after passing of six months she has started showing her true colors and it has become very difficult for me to continue and i want to get rid of this . Please guide me what should i do now.
Ans: Dear Dinesh,
it’s important to reflect on what is making the relationship difficult. Understanding the specific issues—whether they stem from differences in values, communication problems, or other conflicts—can provide clarity on how to move forward.

If you haven't already, consider having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing issues directly can lead to resolutions or at least a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Counseling, either individually or as a couple, can also be a valuable tool in navigating these challenges and deciding the best course of action.

However, if you’ve already tried addressing these issues and find that the relationship is still untenable, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. It’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being, as well as that of your son and stepdaughter. Divorce is never an easy decision, especially when children are involved, but staying in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship can have long-term negative impacts on everyone.

As you contemplate your next steps, it’s also important to lean on your support system. Friends, family, or a counselor can provide guidance and help you navigate this difficult period. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only crucial for you but also for your children, as they look to you for stability and emotional guidance. Making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved is ultimately the most important goal.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024
Relationship
Hello mam.I know a girl since college days.She is married to a guy since last 15 years.Since last 3 years we had an affair.I did take her for granted after our 2 nd half 3 years of relationship.Since a year now she has been giving me some or the other reason such as she is not getting feeling for me,husband is taking much care now so cant handle our relationship,then she told she has some health issue and now recently she tells me she has been telling me indirectly since a year to move on as she was in a relationship with some guy whom she got attracted in a mutual connection.But now she has discontinued with him as well. We do chat on message and call sometime but now since a year she herself has stopped calling or messaging.She replies only when i message or call. I want her back in my life and improve my relationship with her.Please guide me to get her back and have a relationship with her as we had till last year.What steps should I take to win her heart back and make her mine?
Ans: The first step is to acknowledge and respect her current feelings and boundaries. It’s clear she’s navigating her own emotional journey and trying to find clarity in her life. Pressuring her or trying to win her back without considering her current stance may push her further away.

Instead, focus on open and honest communication. If you genuinely care for her, it’s important to express your feelings without being demanding. Share how you feel, but also be willing to listen to her perspective fully. Understand that love and relationships are mutual, and both parties need to feel connected and invested.

During this time, it’s also essential to reflect on your own needs and emotional well-being. Ask yourself if this relationship, as it currently stands, is fulfilling and healthy for you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes stepping back to allow both people space to understand their feelings can lead to a clearer path forward, whether that’s together or apart.

Ultimately, your focus should be on building healthy, honest connections and prioritizing emotional well-being for both yourself and the people involved. If there’s a possibility of rekindling the relationship, it will come from mutual understanding, respect, and willingness from both sides.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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