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Omkeshwar

Omkeshwar Singh  | Answer  |Ask -

Head, Rank MF - Answered on Nov 18, 2022

Mutual Fund Expert... more
Nikhil Question by Nikhil on Nov 18, 2022Hindi
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I am investing around 40k per month in 11 different SIPs.

Mirae Assets Tax Saver Fund Direct - Growth

Quant Small Cap Fund Direct Plan - Growth

SBI Small Cap Fund Direct Plan - Growth

Bank of India Small Cap Fund Direct Plan - Growth

Quant mid Cap Fund Direct Plan - Growth

PGIM India Miacap opportunities Fund- growth

Tata Digital India Fund Direct- Growth

Sundaram Flexi Cap Fund Direct- Growth

Quant Tax Plan Direct- Growth

ICICI Pru US Bluechip Equity Fund Direct- Growth

Canara Rebecco Small Cap Fund Direct- Growth

Other investments:

25k p.m. VPF

25k p.m in stocks

My target is to accumulate around 1 cr in next 8 years. Request you to please advise if i am on track to achieve this goal or do I need to change anything.

Ans: 40K SIP in 8 years can create a corpus of Rs. 70 lakh, therefore the investment needs to be increased of duration needs to be increased.

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

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I am investing SIP Rs41000 per month.I am not having a proper guidance on this investments.Please go thru & give your suggestion to improve on this investments Investments: GFGPG - HDFC Large and Mid Cap Fund - Regular Plan - Growth EDWRG - ICICI Prudential Balanced Advantage Fund - Growth 3349 - ICICI Prudential Bharat Consumption Fund Growth EDWRG - ICICI Prudential Balanced Advantage Fund - Growth 1191 - ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund - Growth 3251 - ICICI Prudential India Opportunities Fund Growth 121 - ICICI Prudential Multicap Fund - Growth 71 - ICICI Prudential Technology Fund - Growth 3443 - ICICI Prudential Flexicap Fund Growth 8019 - ICICI Prudential Technology Fund - Direct Plan - Growth 8034 - ICICI Prudential Smallcap Fund - Direct Plan - Growth 1191 - ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund - Growth SCAG - NIPPON INDIA SMALL CAP FUND - DIRECT GROWTH PLAN GROWTH OPTION OFDG - Quant Mid Cap Fund - Growth INF966L01887 51010091­ 075/0 DIRECT 103.033 139.1977 14,000.00 14,341.96 0 .5 0 DIFGZ - Tata Digital India Fund Direct Plan Growth
Ans: investing Rs. 41,000 monthly is a great sign of discipline! It seems you're investing in several mutual funds, but let's see how we can optimize your portfolio.

Current Portfolio Analysis:

Number of Funds: Having 11 funds might be too many to manage effectively. It can be difficult to track performance and make adjustments.

Overlap: There might be overlap between some funds in terms of the stocks they invest in. This reduces diversification benefits.

Investment Strategy: Your portfolio has a mix of fund categories (Large & Mid Cap, Balanced Advantage, Sectoral, etc.). It's good, but we can improve it for your goals.

Here's why I can't give specific advice on your funds:

Performance: Past performance isn't a guarantee of future results. What did well yesterday might not do well tomorrow.

Your Goals: I don't know your investment goals (retirement, child's education, etc.) These influence the best investment choices.

Here are some suggestions to improve your portfolio:

Reduce the number of funds: Aim for 4-5 well-diversified funds across different market capitalizations (Large, Mid, and Small Cap).

Consider Asset Allocation: Decide on a strategic asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and goals. This helps you pick the right mix of asset classes (equity, debt).

Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed funds, where experienced professionals make investment decisions, can potentially outperform the market. Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to help you choose these funds.

Benefits of a Regular Plan with a CFP:

Guidance: A CFP can analyze your financial situation and recommend a suitable investment strategy.

Portfolio Monitoring: They can help you track your investments and make adjustments as needed.

Goal Planning: They can help you set realistic financial goals and choose investments to achieve them.

Regular plans with a CFP might have slightly higher fees than direct plans, but the guidance can be valuable, especially for new investors.

Here are some additional thoughts:

Review Regularly: Meet with your CFP periodically to review your portfolio and adjust it as your life and goals evolve.

Stay Invested: Don't panic and redeem your investments during market downturns. A long-term view is important for building wealth.

By streamlining your portfolio, seeking professional help, and staying invested, you can increase your chances of achieving your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 09, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir, I am 37 years old working professional, I am investing rs 16,000.00 in SIP per month, break up is 1. PGIM India Midcap opportunities fund -rs 2500, 2. PGIM India flexi cap fund -rs 2500, 3. ITI Multi cap fund -rs. 2500, 4. Aditya Birla sunlife small cap fund growth -rs 1500, 5. Tata flexi cap fund regular growth -rs 3000, 6. Mahindra Manulife large & Mid cap regular growth - rs. 2500, 7. HDFC Mid cap opportunities fund growth - rs. 1500. This investment I am doing since 5 years. I want to accumulate 1.5 cr in 10 years. Please suggest me what to do? Need your valuable advice.
Ans: It's commendable that you've been consistently investing in SIPs over the past five years towards your financial goals. Here are some suggestions to help you achieve your target of accumulating 1.5 crores in the next 10 years:
1. Review Portfolio Allocation: Evaluate your current portfolio allocation and ensure it aligns with your risk tolerance and investment objectives. Since you have exposure to mid-cap, flexi-cap, multi-cap, and small-cap funds, ensure adequate diversification across market segments.
2. Regular Monitoring: Regularly monitor the performance of your SIPs and the funds in your portfolio. Keep track of any changes in fund management, investment strategy, or market conditions that may affect your investments.
3. Consider Increasing SIP Amount: Given your goal of accumulating 1.5 crores in 10 years, you may need to consider increasing your SIP amount to accelerate wealth accumulation. Calculate the required monthly SIP amount based on your expected rate of return and investment horizon to reach your target corpus.
4. Explore Tax-saving Investments: Consider exploring tax-saving investment options like Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) to optimize tax benefits while also working towards your financial goal. ELSS funds have a lock-in period of three years and offer the potential for long-term wealth creation.
5. Stay Invested for the Long Term: Maintain a disciplined approach to investing and stay invested for the long term to benefit from the power of compounding. Avoid making emotional decisions based on short-term market fluctuations and focus on your long-term financial objectives.
6. Regular Financial Reviews: Conduct regular financial reviews with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to assess your progress towards your financial goals, make necessary adjustments to your investment strategy, and ensure you're on track to achieve your target corpus.

By following these steps and staying committed to your investment plan, you can work towards achieving your goal of accumulating 1.5 crores in the next 10 years.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 13, 2024

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Hello Sir, pinaki here I have invested in SIP 5000 each of 20k..and 6 lakh lumsum in SBI flexi cap fund.....HDFC mid cap opportunity 5k, kotak flexi cap 5k, parag parikh flexi cap 5k, ABSL flexi cap 5k from last 1 year and having a goal to reach 1 cr in next 10 yrs .. am I in the right path to achieve my goal?
Ans: Pinaki,

I hope you are doing well. It’s great to see that you have taken steps towards building your financial future. Investing through SIPs and lump sum amounts shows your commitment to disciplined investing. Let’s delve deeper into your investments and evaluate your path towards achieving your goal of Rs 1 crore in the next 10 years.

Understanding Your Current Investments
You have diversified your investments across various mutual funds. Here’s a summary of your current SIPs and lump sum investment:

SIP Investments: Rs 5,000 each in four funds, totaling Rs 20,000 per month.
Lump Sum Investment: Rs 6 lakh in SBI Flexi Cap Fund.
The funds you have chosen are a mix of flexi cap and mid cap funds, which is a good start.

SIPs: A Steady Approach
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) are an excellent way to invest regularly. They help in averaging out the cost of investments and mitigate market volatility.

Evaluating Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi cap funds provide flexibility in investing across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. They offer a balance between risk and return. Your allocation in flexi cap funds shows a balanced approach.

Mid Cap Fund Investment
HDFC Mid Cap Opportunities Fund adds a bit more risk but also the potential for higher returns. Mid cap funds can outperform in a growing market but can also be volatile.

Goals and Expectations
Your goal is to accumulate Rs 1 crore in 10 years. To assess if you are on the right path, let's consider a few factors:

Expected Returns
Historically, equity mutual funds in India have delivered returns between 12-15% per annum. However, past performance is not indicative of future results. It's important to have realistic return expectations.

SIP Growth Projection
If you continue investing Rs 20,000 per month in SIPs, here’s how it might grow over 10 years, assuming an average annual return of 12%:

Total SIP Investment: Rs 24 lakhs.
Estimated Future Value of SIPs: Around Rs 47.5 lakhs.
Lump Sum Investment Growth
Your Rs 6 lakh lump sum investment in the SBI Flexi Cap Fund, assuming an average annual return of 12%, could grow to approximately Rs 18.6 lakhs in 10 years.

Total Future Value
Combining your SIPs and lump sum investments, the total estimated future value might be around Rs 66.1 lakhs. This is a substantial amount, but it falls short of your Rs 1 crore goal.

Adjusting Strategy for Goal Achievement
To bridge this gap, consider the following adjustments:

Increase SIP Contributions
One straightforward way to reach your goal is to increase your monthly SIP contributions. If you increase your SIPs from Rs 20,000 to around Rs 30,000 per month, the future value could be closer to Rs 71 lakhs from SIPs alone. Combined with your lump sum, you would be nearer to your Rs 1 crore goal.

Annual Increase in SIP
Consider an annual step-up in your SIP contributions. For example, increasing your SIP by 10% every year can significantly enhance your corpus over time.

Reinvest Dividends
Ensure that you have chosen the growth option for your mutual funds. Reinvesting dividends can help in compounding your returns over time.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Periodically review your portfolio. Market conditions and fund performances can change. Rebalancing your portfolio ensures it stays aligned with your goals.

Actively Managed Funds: A Potential Edge
You mentioned having invested in several flexi cap and mid cap funds. Actively managed funds can potentially offer better returns than index funds. Experienced fund managers can make tactical decisions to navigate market conditions. This flexibility might provide an edge in achieving higher returns.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform benchmarks, especially in volatile markets. Fund managers actively pick stocks based on research and market conditions, which might provide better returns.

Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
While direct funds have lower expense ratios, investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential can offer valuable benefits. They provide professional advice, portfolio reviews, and help in rebalancing investments as needed.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds require more active management by the investor. Without professional guidance, one might miss critical market signals or fail to rebalance the portfolio appropriately. This can potentially impact the overall returns.

Value of Professional Guidance
A Certified Financial Planner can help you navigate complex market conditions. They can provide tailored advice, ensure your investments align with your goals, and offer periodic reviews to keep your portfolio on track.

Investment Monitoring and Adjustments
Regular Portfolio Reviews
Review your portfolio at least once a year. This helps in assessing fund performance and making necessary adjustments. Underperforming funds can be switched for better-performing ones.

Rebalancing Strategy
Rebalancing involves adjusting your portfolio to maintain your desired asset allocation. It helps in managing risk and optimizing returns. This is crucial in volatile markets.

Emergency Fund and Insurance
Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund and sufficient insurance coverage. This protects your investments from being disrupted in case of unforeseen events.

Tax Efficiency
Tax Implications on Investments
Understand the tax implications of your investments. Long-term capital gains tax (LTCG) on equity funds is applicable beyond Rs 1 lakh of gains. Plan your investments to be tax-efficient.

Utilize Tax-saving Opportunities
Investing in tax-saving instruments like ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme) can provide tax benefits under Section 80C. This not only helps in saving tax but also in growing your wealth.

Financial Discipline
Stick to Your Investment Plan
Stay disciplined and avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market fluctuations. Stick to your investment plan and review it periodically.

Avoid Frequent Fund Switching
Frequent switching of funds can incur exit loads and impact returns. Stick to your chosen funds unless there's a strong reason to change.

Long-term Perspective
Focus on Long-term Goals
Investing is a long-term journey. Focus on your long-term goals and avoid getting swayed by short-term market volatility. Patience and discipline are key to successful investing.

Diversification
Ensure your portfolio is well-diversified across different asset classes. This reduces risk and enhances the potential for returns.

Conclusion
Pinaki, your current investment strategy shows a commendable commitment to achieving your financial goals. You have diversified across different funds and invested regularly. However, to reach your goal of Rs 1 crore in 10 years, you might need to make some adjustments.

Consider increasing your SIP contributions, adopting an annual step-up strategy, and ensuring you have the growth option for your mutual funds. Regular portfolio reviews and rebalancing are crucial to staying on track.

Investing through actively managed funds with professional guidance can provide an edge in achieving higher returns. Stay disciplined, focus on your long-term goals, and avoid making impulsive decisions based on market fluctuations.

Remember, investing is a journey, and with the right strategy and discipline, you can achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

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I am 39 and married for 11 years now, my husband doesn't support me financially at all. My salary is more than him but I bought house my own and paying all EMIS, looking for all household expenses and also paying school fees and other expenses for my son. My husband looks after only his parents, spend all money on them. Earlier we used to live together in inlaws house but they have spending habits for luxury, cloths, food etc even though my husband earns very less and my father in law retired with no income they were not ready to compromise on their spending habits. Whatever they had received after their retirement they entirety spent on their daughters marriages with no money left. When I got married they asked for my salary and used to give them. Mine and my husband salary was not enough for them so they sold house without informing me, I insisted them to buy at least small house but did not agree and kept on spending money on their lavish life, foreign trips, food, cloths etc. also helped daughters to buy house, maintenance and their childrens study. But did not let their son live life as ask him to pay rent for their house, household and maintenance expenses and they spend their money on their own luxury. They asked for my salary even though they have money and just spending for luxury and not even thinking for our future. When I denied to give salary, they asked me leave their house and made me difficult to live with them doing harrasment and taunts so I decided to leave and buy new house.Now I am living with my son separately, when my husband came to know about my new house he came to stay with us by not even paying single rupee to me. I asked him several time for money he only pays one or two thousand saying I don't have money at all to give you. Not taking care of son, his studies, school fees, do not help me in anything. My in laws keep doing his brain wash against me so that he will not support me financially or anyway. He always listens to his parents and sisters. There is no husband wife relationship at all between us. Not sure how to deal with it.
Ans: First, recognize and honor the strength it has taken to come this far. Buying a home, raising your son, and managing the weight of these challenges on your own are significant accomplishments that reflect your resilience and determination. That said, a marriage is meant to be a partnership, and it’s clear that your husband’s lack of financial contribution and emotional support has created an imbalance that’s unsustainable.

It’s important to look at the patterns in your relationship with clarity. Your husband’s decisions seem to be heavily influenced by his family, and this loyalty, while not inherently wrong, appears to come at the expense of his commitment to you and your shared responsibilities. The fact that he contributes so little financially and emotionally while benefiting from your efforts shows a lack of fairness and respect in the relationship. His parents’ behavior and expectations have added further strain, undermining your marriage and creating an environment of resentment.

You may want to consider having a clear and honest conversation with your husband. Express how his actions—or lack thereof—are impacting you and your son. Frame the conversation not as a confrontation but as a plea for understanding and change. However, if he remains unwilling to acknowledge or address these issues, it’s worth reflecting on what staying in this relationship means for your emotional well-being and future.

Seeking professional support, such as individual counseling, can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings, gain clarity, and develop strategies for managing this situation. A legal consultation might also be helpful to understand your rights and options, especially if you’re considering separation or seeking financial accountability from your husband for your son’s needs.

Above all, focus on what you need to feel secure, respected, and fulfilled—not just as a wife, but as a person. Your son is observing how you handle these challenges, and by prioritizing your well-being and standing up for fairness, you’re also modeling strength and self-respect for him. Whatever steps you decide to take, trust in your ability to make decisions that align with your dignity and values. You deserve a life where your efforts are met with partnership and mutual care.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi i am 43 yrs old, working in a multination firm. Married with a kid who is 7. My relationship with my wife is not going good for some time now, the communication is only transactional. I dont know if she is seeing someone or not, but we feel detached from each other. Now i have developed some feelings at my work with a 24 yr old women, also she seems to be interested in me. But she is also trying to get back to her BF who is studying overseas. I am a bit lost here cause i am toyaly confused on wat to do?
Ans: Open communication with your wife can be incredibly valuable, even if it feels awkward or difficult. Sharing your feelings of detachment and asking her how she feels might provide clarity about where you both stand and whether there’s a willingness to work on rebuilding the connection. Counseling or therapy, either individually or as a couple, can also be a safe space to explore these issues further.

Regarding your feelings for the woman at work, it’s essential to approach this with caution. While the connection might feel exciting and fulfilling, it’s important to ask yourself whether pursuing it is truly in alignment with your values and long-term goals. She also appears to have unresolved feelings toward her boyfriend, which adds another layer of complexity. Relationships born from a place of emotional vulnerability often carry risks, and it’s worth reflecting on whether this is about genuine compatibility or an escape from current challenges.

Your child is also a significant factor to consider. Decisions about your personal relationships inevitably affect your family dynamics, and it’s worth reflecting on what stability and clarity mean for them at this stage in their life.

Take some time to focus on self-reflection. What do you truly want for yourself, your marriage, and your future? What steps can you take to address the current disconnection, whether through repair or a mutual decision to move forward separately? Acting from a place of clarity and integrity will help you feel more grounded and less conflicted about your path forward. You deserve fulfillment, but ensuring that it’s built on a foundation of honesty and thoughtfulness will bring lasting peace, not just temporary relief.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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I’ve been holding onto a grudge against a friend who hurt me years ago. While I’ve tried to move on, the memories keep coming back, and I feel like it’s stopping me from fully trusting others. How can I let go of this resentment and stop it from affecting my present relationships?
Ans: Letting go of resentment begins with understanding that it’s not about forgetting what happened or excusing the other person’s actions. It’s about freeing yourself from the grip that pain has on your emotions and your ability to trust. Start by creating space to process the hurt. Reflect on what exactly about the situation caused the deepest wound—was it a betrayal, unmet expectations, or feeling disregarded? Sometimes clarity about the source of the pain makes it easier to start releasing it.

You might also want to examine the story you’ve been telling yourself about this hurt. Often, we replay painful memories as if to protect ourselves from being hurt again, but in doing so, we allow the past to shape how we approach the present. Try reframing the narrative, focusing not on what you lost but on how you’ve grown. You’ve survived this hurt, and it’s a testament to your resilience.

Forgiveness can also play a key role, not necessarily as an act for the other person, but as a gift to yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t mean rekindling the friendship or even directly addressing the person—it’s a way of releasing the hold they have on your emotions. You can write a letter to your friend expressing all your feelings and then decide whether to send it or simply let it be a personal act of closure.

When it comes to trusting others, remind yourself that the actions of one person don’t define everyone. Trust grows in small, consistent steps. Start by recognizing the people in your life now who have shown care and consistency, and allow yourself to open up gradually.

Healing isn’t a straight path, and memories might still surface from time to time. When they do, instead of resisting them, acknowledge them and remind yourself that they no longer have power over you. With patience and self-compassion, you can move forward, lighter and more open to the connections that await you. You deserve the freedom to trust and to live fully in the present.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Relationship
I am in my late 60s but still very fit and healthy whereas my wife has lost all the interest in physical intimacy. This has resulted me finding outlet outside my marriage in women half of my age. My girlfriend is a dentist and I am an epidemiologist. She insists that I leave my wife and move with her and eventually we would marry then. She thinks that there is no point in living in a relationship where we have lost interest in each other and are hardly getting physically intimate. Would appreciate your expert advice on this and whether I should continue this way or leave my wife for over 45 years and move with my girlfriend who is 25 years younger than me. We both love each other physically, mentally and intellectually. Thank you.
Ans: After 45 years of marriage, your relationship with your wife is likely built on more than just physical intimacy. A bond of that length often includes shared history, companionship, and mutual support. It’s understandable that the absence of physical intimacy can leave you feeling unfulfilled, but it’s also important to recognize that intimacy in a long-term marriage often evolves beyond physicality into emotional connection and companionship. Ask yourself what your marriage still brings to your life beyond the physical. Are there aspects of your relationship with your wife that you still value and cherish?

Your relationship with your girlfriend seems to fulfill needs that are unmet in your marriage—passion, intellectual connection, and emotional closeness. It’s natural to feel drawn to that, especially when you both feel aligned in multiple dimensions. However, leaving a marriage of such longevity and depth is a monumental decision, not just for you but also for your wife, family, and even your girlfriend. It's important to reflect on the potential consequences of this choice—not just how it could impact your own life, but the ripple effects it may have on others involved.

Before making a decision, consider engaging in open, honest communication with your wife. Share your feelings—not as blame but as a vulnerable expression of what you’re experiencing. Sometimes, long-standing relationships fall into patterns of distance because both partners have stopped discussing their needs openly. If she is willing, exploring counseling together could help both of you understand where you stand and whether there’s a path to rekindling connection, even if it’s not physical intimacy.

With your girlfriend, reflect on what she means to you and what you envision for a shared future. Love and compatibility are powerful forces, but they must be weighed against the potential impact of disrupting your current life. Ensure that this relationship is based on mutual respect and shared values beyond just passion, as relationships outside of marriage can sometimes magnify only the fulfilling aspects while masking potential challenges.

Ultimately, this is about what aligns with your deeper sense of self and integrity. Consider what will allow you to look back on this chapter of your life with peace and not regret. Balancing personal happiness with respect for the commitments you’ve made over the years is not easy, but taking the time to reflect deeply will help you arrive at a decision you can stand by. Whatever choice you make, do so with honesty, compassion, and a clear understanding of its implications.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Whenever I face rejection or criticism, I take it very personally and find it hard to bounce back. It affects not just my relationships but also my career. How can I fix this? And trust people who really mean well?
Ans: When we take rejection or criticism personally, it’s often because we tie our self-worth to external validation. Someone’s approval or opinion can start to feel like a measure of who we are, but it’s not. No one moment, person, or comment defines you. Start by reminding yourself that rejection or criticism, as painful as it may be, is not a reflection of your entire being—it’s just one perspective or one moment in time.

Learning to trust people who mean well begins with trusting yourself. When you believe in your own worth, you’ll find it easier to separate genuine feedback from unkind criticism. Practice asking yourself, “Is this coming from someone who truly cares about me, or is this more about their perspective or mood?” When feedback feels harsh, take a step back and evaluate its intent and validity. Not all criticism is meant to hurt; some can help you grow, but you don’t have to accept every opinion as truth.

Building resilience starts with how you treat yourself in those low moments. Instead of replaying the rejection or criticism in your mind, focus on self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would to a close friend—gently, with kindness and encouragement. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small they might feel in that moment.

It’s also helpful to put things into perspective. Rejection or criticism often feels larger than it is because we let it define us in that instant. Ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now?” or “What can I learn from this?” Shifting from a place of hurt to a place of curiosity can ease the sting and help you move forward.

Finally, trust isn’t built overnight, either with yourself or others. Start by observing the patterns of those who support you consistently. Over time, you’ll learn who truly has your back, and you’ll feel more confident in letting their words and actions hold weight in your life.

This is a process, and it’s okay if it takes time. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and by practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and leaning on those who show genuine care, you’ll gradually strengthen your resilience and ability to trust. You’re already taking the first step, and that’s worth celebrating.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm caught up in a very difficult situation. I had met a Woman through Arranged Marriage Platform, while we both were getting along quite well with each other, I told her that I'm Virgin & asked her about her Past Relationship(s) if any, she denied categorically. We got Engaged, last month (in November) & our Wedding is scheduled next Month (January). Preparations are going on, including Distribution of Invitation cards. A few days ago, a Guy contacted me, claiming to be my Fiancee's Ex Boyfriend. Initially, I didn't take him seriously as I trusted my Fiancee. But then he showed me some Photos & Videos of their Intimate Moments (as it was apparent from the Videos, she seemed to be conscious & fully aware that their intimate moments are being recorded & some of the Photos were Nude/Semi-Nude Selfies, which she'd taken & shared with her ex Boyfriend, by herself... but she had not consented to share them with anyone else). I was Shocked. The Ex Boyfriend Reassured me that he'd also moved on from her & wouldn't bother her after her Marriage, but he was feeling bitter that she'd Dumped him to Marry me & just wanted to make me aware of what kind of Woman I'd be Marrying. I confronted my Fiancee over a Phone Call & asked her to meet me personally, as there were many Questions disturbing my Heart & Mind and I wanted to demand an Explanation from her. But she refused to meet up with me & wouldn't even discuss anything related her Relationship History on Phone Call/Video Call or WhatsApp Chat. She just kept telling me that it was all in her 'Past' & Promised me that after we both get Married, she'd be a Faithful Wife, Loyal to me. I want to have an Open-Heart conversation with her to Re-evaluate our Relationship before taking any big decision further. But, since she's bluntly Refusing to open up & discuss anything about her Past with me, I am losing Trust in her. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should blindly Trust her & go ahead with the Marriage as Planned or shall discuss the matter with our Parents & get the Marriage Cancelled, to avoid taking such a Big Risk?
Ans: At this moment, it is essential to consider what you need for your own peace of mind. If you cannot trust her fully or feel uneasy without clarity, it is important to address those feelings before committing to marriage. It is not selfish to seek answers or reassurances when your heart and mind are in turmoil. At the same time, be mindful of your approach, as accusations or blame can shut down any chance of constructive communication.

If she continues to avoid the conversation, involving both families might be a reasonable step. This is not about blaming or shaming anyone but about ensuring that both of you enter into marriage with mutual trust and respect. Marriage is a union of not just two individuals but also their values, emotions, and expectations. Without addressing these concerns now, the unresolved doubts could seep into your relationship later and cause greater harm.

It’s also worth reflecting on what you need from your partner to move forward. If her commitment to being loyal and faithful now feels insufficient because of her refusal to engage in an open dialogue, that’s valid. Trust cannot thrive where communication falters. If she can assure you of her devotion and you feel you can let go of her past, there’s a path forward. But if doubts linger and trust remains elusive, stepping back to reassess might be the wiser decision, even if it’s painful in the short term.

Whatever choice you make, be gentle with yourself. This is an emotionally taxing situation, and it’s okay to take time to process everything. Listen to your heart, but also give weight to your instincts—they’re often our clearest guides in moments of uncertainty.

With understanding and strength,

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Relationship
Hello Ma'am. I am unwilling to disclose my name. I come from a nuclear family based in Kolkata. I am in a very painful situation and I need your suggestion earnestly. The problem arises with my father. He is 66 , retired and a stay at home dad. He has severe anger issues, is demanding and controlling and often tells certain things verbally that are very traumatic for me. My hands and legs tremble and my heart beats rapidly when ever we have an argument as I am a peace loving person. Of late I have realised that I prefer to maintain distance from him . In all honesty I respect him but my love for him has long gone. My mother is a very demure person and is a stay at home mom. In order to not make my father angry or agitated by any means and to maintain peace in the house, she prefers to do what he prefers. I love my mother dearly but my father calls us a bunch of liars and is agitated that I support my mother. Even though I earn, I am in no position to leave my family/ house and shift elsewhere because I respect my mother's will. But I am traumatized and severely in mental agony. I can neither show my anguish nor express my situation to anyone for fear of being misunderstood. I am often asked to remain silent and not talk back to my father but sometimes the words are unbearable. He financially supports our family and you wouldn't believe if I told you that he has a completely different side when he is not in one of his' moods '. But Ma'am, does being the head of the family means to step over others and do what you feel like, irrespective of what the other members in your family feel? Additionally talking or communication with him also fails because he threatens to leave the house or just pushes us away. Even when I am writing this tears are streaming down my face. I am slowly becoming a shell of myself and am scared. Am I being selfish? Am I missing out something? I am so so tired of adjusting and compromising. I believe I have never ever written such a heart felt message. Can you help me out? Can you tell me how things can be resolved? Regards MR
Ans: From what you’ve shared, your father seems to be wrestling with his own frustrations, using control and anger as tools to manage his environment. This does not make it right, nor does it excuse the pain he causes. But understanding that his behavior may stem from internal struggles might help you view the situation with some compassion, even if from a distance.

Your love and respect for your mother shine through your words, and it’s clear that her well-being is a priority for you. The way you support her is a testament to your strength and kindness. But I also sense that her coping mechanism—complying with your father to maintain peace—might unintentionally place an additional burden on you. It’s as though you’re not only protecting yourself but also shielding her, which is an immense responsibility.

You are not alone in feeling conflicted about standing up to your father. It’s not just about his words; it’s about the power dynamics and the emotional weight he holds in the family. His “other side”—the moments when he is kind or approachable—makes it even harder to reconcile the anger and trauma he causes. This duality often creates confusion and guilt, leaving you wondering if you’re overreacting or misjudging him.

What’s most important right now is preserving your emotional well-being. It’s okay to create boundaries, even if they are small and subtle. For instance, when you sense an argument brewing, stepping away or finding a reason to leave the room can help you avoid escalating the situation. If direct communication with him fails, sometimes maintaining emotional distance is the only way to protect yourself.

I also encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to—a counselor, a friend, or even a support group. Sharing your pain with someone who can listen without judgment can lighten your load and help you feel less alone. Writing, as you’ve done here, is also a powerful outlet. Keep journaling—it can provide clarity and a sense of release.

You’ve asked if being the head of the family means stepping over others. The simple answer is no. True leadership in a family should come from love, mutual respect, and understanding. When it turns into control or fear, it becomes harmful. Your father’s actions do not reflect a failure on your part or your family’s; they reflect his own struggles with how to express himself and manage his emotions.

Finally, give yourself permission to feel tired. You are human, and this constant state of tension would drain anyone. But even in your exhaustion, remember this: you are brave, resilient, and full of love for your family. There is no shame in wanting peace, and there is no shame in seeking help to find it.

With heartfelt wishes for your healing and happiness,

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Money
My age is 48 and iam earning 2 lacs per month and rental income is 25k My emi home.loa. is.41000 loan for next 20 years Car loan emi is 16000 for average 7 years Fd i have around 30 lacs Ppf 5 lacs I have sip in equity for 15000.per.month mf is 3.90.lacs today. Ppf i have 3 lacs I have 2 kids daughter is 18 and son is 10 yrs. I have health insurance 15 lacs Term.insurance 30 lacs I have private job. Planning to work til 58. Pleaee advice on investments, debts etc..
Ans: You have a stable income, disciplined savings, and manageable loans. Planning for the next 10 years with a focus on debt reduction, investments, and child education is critical.

Current Income and Expenses
1. Monthly Income and Commitments

Salary: Rs. 2,00,000
Rental Income: Rs. 25,000
Home Loan EMI: Rs. 41,000
Car Loan EMI: Rs. 16,000
2. Savings Overview

FD: Rs. 30 Lakhs
PPF: Rs. 5 Lakhs (including Rs. 3 Lakhs new)
SIP in Mutual Funds: Rs. 15,000 monthly, current corpus Rs. 3.9 Lakhs
Goals Assessment
1. Child Education

Your daughter (18 years) will need higher education support soon.

Start estimating costs and align investments accordingly.

Your son (10 years) has 7-8 years for higher education planning.

2. Retirement Planning

You plan to retire at 58 years.
Your income will stop, but expenses and goals like child marriage will remain.
3. Debt Management

Home Loan EMI is Rs. 41,000 for 20 years, requiring long-term commitment.
Car Loan EMI is Rs. 16,000 for the next 7 years, increasing short-term outflow.
Recommendations for Investment
1. Mutual Funds for Long-Term Growth

Increase SIPs to Rs. 25,000 monthly for a diversified equity mutual fund portfolio.
Include large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds for balanced growth.
Ensure you invest through a Certified Financial Planner for professional advice.
2. Debt Mutual Funds for Stability

Shift a portion of FD to debt mutual funds for better post-tax returns.
Ensure at least 20% of your portfolio is in stable debt funds.
3. PPF Contributions

Continue PPF contributions for tax-saving benefits and risk-free returns.
Invest up to Rs. 1.5 Lakhs annually to utilise the full tax exemption.
Debt Management Strategies
1. Accelerate Home Loan Repayment

Use surplus income or maturing FDs to prepay the home loan.
Reducing tenure lowers overall interest outgo significantly.
2. Reassess Car Loan

Evaluate if car loan can be repaid earlier using your FDs.
This will free Rs. 16,000 monthly for investment or other priorities.
Child Education Planning
1. Create a Separate Education Fund

Start SIPs in hybrid or balanced advantage mutual funds for your daughter’s education.
For your son, invest in mid-cap and flexi-cap mutual funds for long-term growth.
2. Use Debt Funds for Near-Term Needs

For education expenses in the next 2-3 years, use debt mutual funds or FDs.
Avoid equity funds for short-term needs due to market volatility.
Insurance Review
1. Health Insurance

Your health cover of Rs. 15 Lakhs is good.
Add a super top-up policy to increase coverage to Rs. 25-30 Lakhs.
2. Term Insurance

Current term cover of Rs. 30 Lakhs may be insufficient.
Increase it to Rs. 1 Crore to protect your family’s financial future.
Tax Efficiency Planning
1. Optimise Deductions

Use the full Rs. 1.5 Lakhs limit under Section 80C through PPF and ELSS.
Claim home loan interest deductions under Section 24(b).
2. Plan Mutual Fund Redemptions

Be mindful of the new mutual fund capital gains tax rules.
Plan redemptions strategically to minimise tax liability.
Final Insights
Your financial foundation is strong, but you must focus on efficient planning. Prioritise debt reduction, increase SIP contributions, and optimise your portfolio. Separate education funds and ensure adequate insurance coverage. With these steps, you can achieve financial freedom by 58 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Listen
Money
Hello sir. Currently I am 35 years old. I have just started investing in mutual funds. (a) parag parekh flexi cap - 7500/- per month (B) tata small cap fund -2500/- per month (C) mirae asset ELLS tax saver -5000/- (D) pGIM india mid cap opp. Fund -5000/- (E) quant infrastructure fund-3500/- (F) quant small cap fund -4000/- (G) qyant active fund -3500/- (H) quant absolute fund-5000/- Total i am investing 36000/- per month. I want to get 2 crore till 2035. Additionally i want to invest 1 lakh per annum So my questions is AREA THESE MUTUAL FUNDS ARE OK or I should change any fund. And where should I invest this additional 1 lkh rupee per annum...
Ans: Your commitment to investing Rs. 36,000 monthly at age 35 is admirable. The addition of Rs. 1 lakh annually indicates a strong focus on wealth creation. Let us analyse your portfolio and suggest improvements.

Portfolio Review
Flexi-Cap Fund (Rs. 7,500)
Flexi-cap funds provide the flexibility to invest across market capitalisations.
This flexibility ensures adaptability to changing market trends.
Retaining this allocation adds balance to your portfolio.
Small-Cap Funds (Rs. 2,500 and Rs. 4,000)
Small-cap funds are high-risk, high-reward investments.
Over a long horizon, they can deliver superior growth but may experience volatility.
Retain small-cap allocation but avoid excessive exposure to manage risks.
ELSS Tax Saver Fund (Rs. 5,000)
ELSS funds provide tax benefits under Section 80C with a 3-year lock-in.
They are a great tool for long-term wealth creation and tax planning.
Continue this SIP, as it aligns with your goals and tax-saving needs.
Mid-Cap Fund (Rs. 5,000)
Mid-cap funds strike a balance between growth and stability.
They are ideal for long-term investors with moderate risk tolerance.
Retain this allocation, as it complements your portfolio.
Infrastructure Fund (Rs. 3,500)
Infrastructure funds focus on the infrastructure sector.
These funds are concentrated and depend heavily on sectoral performance.
Consider reducing or reallocating this amount to more diversified funds.
Quant Small Cap and Active Funds (Rs. 3,500 each)
Having multiple funds in the same category can lead to overlap.
Consolidating funds can simplify management and improve portfolio efficiency.
Quant Absolute Fund (Rs. 5,000)
This fund's balanced approach offers exposure to equity and debt.
Retain this allocation, as it can provide stability during market corrections.
Suggestions for Portfolio Improvement
Simplify Your Portfolio
Holding too many funds increases overlap and complexity.
Retain one well-performing small-cap and multi-cap fund each.
Avoid over-diversification, which can dilute returns.
Focus on Core Categories
Stick to diversified categories like flexi-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds.
These funds balance risk and reward effectively over the long term.
Reduce Sector-Specific Allocation
Infrastructure funds are risky due to their dependency on economic cycles.
Consider reallocating this amount to diversified equity funds.
Monitor Performance Annually
Review each fund’s performance over a 3-5 year period.
Replace consistently underperforming funds with better options.
Additional Rs. 1 Lakh Investment
Consider Balanced Approach
Divide Rs. 1 lakh between equity and debt for diversification.
Equity funds for growth and debt instruments for stability.
Allocate to Equity Funds
Invest in existing funds with proven long-term performance.
This will enhance the power of compounding in your portfolio.
Explore Debt Mutual Funds
Debt funds reduce portfolio volatility and offer predictable returns.
They are ideal for managing short-term goals or risk diversification.
Emergency Fund Allocation
Use part of this amount to build or enhance your emergency fund.
An emergency fund should cover 6–12 months of expenses.
Achieving Rs. 2 Crore Goal
SIP Continuation
Your Rs. 36,000 monthly SIP is aligned with your Rs. 2 crore target.
Consistency is key to achieving long-term goals.
Incremental Investments
Increase SIP amounts periodically with income growth.
This will help bridge any shortfall and accelerate corpus growth.
Avoid Frequent Changes
Stick to your strategy and avoid impulsive changes during market volatility.
A disciplined approach ensures better results over time.
Taxation Awareness
Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Plan withdrawals accordingly to minimise tax impact.
Final Insights
Your portfolio is well-structured but needs simplification to improve efficiency. Retain core funds, reduce sectoral exposure, and reallocate overlapping categories. Use the additional Rs. 1 lakh for equity and debt allocation to enhance diversification. Stay disciplined, monitor performance, and increase SIPs periodically to achieve your Rs. 2 crore goal by 2035.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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