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ULIP Invested - Taxes When Switching After Daughter's Relocation?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024Hindi
Money

I have invested 3L for 5 years (Total 15L) in ICICI Prulife Elite life 2 ULIP between 2016 to 2021. I didn’t know the difference between ULIP and SIP back then. As of today, fund value is about 31L. The policy term is 20years. Given taxation, Seeking advise on when to withdraw the fund and modes of withdrawal to minimize the tax. Im actually not in a need of funds now. When I decided to invest, my daughter had just born and intention was to save money for her higher education. But almighty had other plans and I became a Canadian in 2022. So she may not study in India

Ans: You have invested Rs 15 lakh over 5 years in a ULIP (Unit Linked Insurance Plan). The fund value has grown to Rs 31 lakh, which is a good return. Your intention was to save for your daughter's education, but now the situation has changed as you're living in Canada. You don’t require the funds immediately, and your daughter may not study in India. Let’s evaluate the best approach to managing this investment and how to minimize taxes on withdrawal.

It’s worth noting that ULIPs are a mix of investment and insurance. Your policy term is 20 years, and it’s crucial to decide when and how to withdraw the funds based on your financial goals and tax efficiency.

Withdrawal Timing and Strategy
Long-Term Growth Potential: Since the policy has a 20-year term, you have the flexibility to stay invested for more time. ULIPs tend to show better growth after the 10-year mark. If you are not in urgent need of funds, you could let the investment grow further.

Taxation on ULIPs: ULIPs have a tax benefit if the annual premium is less than Rs 2.5 lakh per year. Given that your investment was Rs 3 lakh per year, this might not apply to you. However, if the policy's sum assured is at least 10 times the annual premium, the maturity proceeds may still be exempt from tax under Section 10(10D).

Partial Withdrawals: ULIPs allow partial withdrawals after the lock-in period (which is typically 5 years). These withdrawals are tax-free up to a certain limit. This can help you gradually access your funds while spreading out the tax impact.

Exit Strategy: If you choose to exit the ULIP entirely, the proceeds will be subject to capital gains tax, depending on your policy’s sum assured and premium structure. Given that you're now a Canadian resident, taxation in Canada may also come into play. Consulting with a tax expert familiar with cross-border tax implications can help here.

Taxation for Indian Residents
Tax on ULIP Withdrawals: If your premium exceeds Rs 2.5 lakh in a year, the returns from ULIP are taxable. The capital gains tax on equity-oriented funds (which most ULIPs are) is 12.5% for long-term capital gains exceeding Rs 1.25 lakh. The gains you have earned might fall under this category.

Tax-Free Insurance: If the sum assured in your ULIP is 10 times or more than the annual premium, then the maturity proceeds can be tax-free under Section 10(10D). Check your policy to see if you meet this condition.

Lock-in Period: Since ULIPs have a 5-year lock-in, you’ve already crossed that threshold. There is no additional lock-in after this period, so you can make withdrawals anytime without penalties.

Impact of Canadian Residency on Taxation
Double Taxation: As a Canadian resident, you may be taxed on your worldwide income. Withdrawals from your ULIP in India might also be subject to Canadian taxes. To avoid double taxation, explore the tax treaty between India and Canada, which might offer relief. Speaking with a tax consultant familiar with both tax systems can be beneficial.

Timing of Withdrawals: Given the tax implications in both countries, it may be better to stagger withdrawals over several years. This can reduce the tax burden by spreading the gains across different financial years.

Fund Growth and Diversification
ULIP Fund Performance: The current value of Rs 31 lakh is a good indication that your ULIP has performed well. However, ULIPs typically come with higher charges compared to mutual funds. Over the next few years, the charges could eat into the returns, especially if the policy has high mortality charges.

Market Conditions: The market has been volatile recently, but equity-based ULIPs tend to perform well over the long term. You could consider switching your fund allocation within the ULIP to a more conservative fund (like a debt fund) if you prefer a safer approach now.

Switching Funds: ULIPs offer fund-switching options, allowing you to change the allocation between equity and debt funds. This flexibility can help you manage risk, especially as you near the point of withdrawal.

Should You Stay Invested or Exit?
Cost of Staying Invested: ULIPs have various charges, including fund management charges, policy administration fees, and mortality charges. As you progress further into the policy term, these charges may increase, especially if your insurance cover is high. Assess if the growth of the fund outweighs these costs.

Insurance Needs: If the insurance component of your ULIP is no longer relevant (since you are now living in Canada), you may consider surrendering the policy. ULIPs are not the most cost-effective way to get life insurance, and term insurance might be a better option if insurance is still a priority for you.

Surrendering the ULIP: If you decide that the charges and complexity of the ULIP outweigh the benefits, you can surrender the policy. The surrender proceeds will be taxable if your premiums exceed Rs 2.5 lakh annually, and if the sum assured is not at least 10 times the premium. The proceeds will be treated as long-term capital gains and taxed accordingly.

Modes of Withdrawal
Partial Withdrawals: As mentioned, partial withdrawals from ULIPs are tax-free up to a certain limit. You can withdraw part of your investment every year, reducing the overall tax impact. This also allows the remaining funds to grow.

Full Withdrawal: If you need the full amount, consider withdrawing in a year when your income is lower, which may reduce the tax liability.

Switch to Debt Fund: If you are looking for more stable growth, you can switch your ULIP allocation to debt funds. This reduces the volatility and risk, especially as you get closer to the time you may need the money.

Investment Alternatives for Future
Regular Mutual Funds: For future investments, consider regular mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner. These offer more transparency, flexibility, and generally lower costs compared to ULIPs. Mutual funds also offer a wide range of options across different risk profiles.

Actively Managed Funds: While index funds are often popular, actively managed funds tend to outperform in specific markets. A Certified Financial Planner can help you select funds that suit your risk profile and long-term goals.

Child Education Planning: Since your daughter may study abroad, look into international education savings plans. This can help you invest in a way that aligns with future educational expenses in countries like Canada.

Finally
Your decision on when to withdraw from your ULIP depends on multiple factors: tax efficiency, fund performance, and your financial goals. As a Canadian resident, you must also consider the tax implications in both countries.

If you do not need the funds right now, staying invested for the long term could be beneficial. However, keep an eye on the charges and switch to a conservative fund if you prefer to reduce risk.

Exploring alternatives like mutual funds for future investments could be a more cost-effective strategy, especially with professional guidance. Your daughter’s education is a critical goal, and investing with that in mind is key.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Sep 27, 2024 | Answered on Sep 27, 2024
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Thank you for the response! It was indeed detailed! Couple of questions After posting my question, I read that since policy was issued before Feb-2021 (even the last payment of 5th year was made by Jan-2021) Capital gain is 100% tax exempted. life coverage from policy is 30L. Exactly 10x of annual pay! FMC for the funds I chose is 1.35%. ICICI do pay minimum 0.3% loyalty which will partially offset the FMC 1) Given there is no Capital tax under section 10 (10D) and I’m not in need of funds now, isn’t it wise to continue with the policy till maturity? (I would definitely minimize the market volatility risk by moving to lesser risk funds in the last 5 years) 2) Since Fund value exceeded the insurance coverage, will mortality charges still apply? I read the policy document but didn’t understand. If it’s applicable, Typically how much it would be? Approx. % (I’m 43 now) 1) Given
Ans: Thank you for the follow-up!

Continuing the Policy: While the tax exemption and loyalty additions are beneficial, mutual funds generally offer more flexible investment options. For a personalized plan, it’s best to consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to align with your goals.

Mortality Charges: Mortality charges won’t apply as long as the fund value exceeds the cover amount. However, if the market dips and the fund value falls below the cover, they will charge accordingly.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Sep 27, 2024 | Answered on Sep 28, 2024
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Thank you Sir, It was indeed a very helpful response!
Ans: You're welcome! If you have any more questions or need further assistance, feel free to ask. Best wishes on your financial journey!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 20, 2023Hindi
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sir, I have invested through SIP in Mirae Asset emerging blue chip fund,(current value 3.5 lakhs) Aditya Birla Sunlife 96 tax relief(current value2.50lakhs), Axis long term Equity fund(current value 1.8 lakhs), Canara Robeco Equity tax saver fund(current value 1.20 lakhs), Sundaram Diversified equity (Current value 1.lakh) and i have stopped SIP 3 years back in all these funds and not withdrawn any amount. suggest to keep the amount in these funds as it is or withdraw and invest lumpsum in some other funds
Ans: Assessing Your Mutual Fund Portfolio for Optimal Growth

Current Portfolio Overview:

Your current mutual fund portfolio comprises several funds across different categories, including Mirae Asset emerging blue chip fund, Aditya Birla Sunlife 96 tax relief, Axis long term Equity fund, Canara Robeco Equity tax saver fund, and Sundaram Diversified equity.

Evaluation of Current Investments:

Your portfolio demonstrates a diversified approach, spanning both large-cap and tax-saving funds.

Assessment of Fund Performance:

Mirae Asset Emerging Blue Chip Fund: This fund has shown consistent performance historically and may continue to deliver good returns over the long term.

Aditya Birla Sunlife 96 Tax Relief: As a tax-saving fund, it offers the dual benefit of tax savings under Section 80C and potential capital appreciation.

Axis Long Term Equity Fund: This ELSS fund has a track record of delivering robust returns and can be considered for long-term wealth creation.

Canara Robeco Equity Tax Saver Fund: Similar to other ELSS funds, it offers tax benefits along with the potential for capital appreciation.

Sundaram Diversified Equity Fund: This fund focuses on diversified equity investments and aims to generate wealth over the long term.

Recommendations:

Review Fund Performance: Evaluate the performance of each fund against its benchmark and peers to ensure it aligns with your investment objectives.

Consider Market Conditions: Assess the current market conditions and economic outlook to gauge the potential performance of your funds in the future.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: Seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to review your investment strategy and make informed decisions based on your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon.

Consolidate and Rebalance: Consider consolidating your mutual fund holdings to streamline your portfolio and reduce overlap. Rebalance your portfolio periodically to maintain an optimal asset allocation mix.

Stay Invested for the Long Term: Avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market fluctuations. Stay invested for the long term to benefit from the power of compounding and potential wealth creation.

Final Thoughts:

In conclusion, maintaining a well-diversified mutual fund portfolio is essential for long-term wealth creation. Regularly monitor your investments, review fund performance, and seek professional advice to make informed decisions aligned with your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 34 yrs old software engineer have been investigating in ulip Bajaj Allianz in pure stock fund 2 life goal assist plan with 12500 per month for 10 years premium payment and 15years tenure.I have invested approx 780000 which has fund value around 1350000 as of now . Now that 5 years are done I can do a partial withdrawal or break it or continue, I also have a similar plan which I started 2 years later so I'll be making similar money 2 years later too . Bajaj guys called me to break it and invest in other plan with 5 lakhs yearly into smallcap fund with life long goal plan for 5 years premium payment and tenure life long but can we withdrawn any time after 5 years . Can u suggest which would be the better chioce
Ans: I understand that you want to know the best course of action regarding your ULIP (Unit Linked Insurance Plan) with Bajaj Allianz and whether to consider the new investment plan suggested to you. Let’s dive into a detailed analysis and evaluation of your situation to help you make an informed decision.

Understanding Your Current ULIP Investment
You have invested Rs. 12,500 per month in a ULIP for 10 years with a 15-year tenure. You have already invested approximately Rs. 7,80,000, and the current fund value is around Rs. 13,50,000.

Evaluating Your Current ULIP Performance
Your current ULIP has grown from Rs. 7,80,000 to Rs. 13,50,000 in five years. This indicates a significant increase, showing the potential of equity investments over a long term.

Growth Rate: The fund has shown considerable growth, reflecting the power of compounding and equity investment returns.

Flexibility: After five years, you have the flexibility to make partial withdrawals or continue with the plan.

Charges: ULIPs typically have various charges like premium allocation, policy administration, and fund management fees which can affect returns.

Options with Your Current ULIP
Now that you have completed five years, you can:

Continue with the Plan: Keep investing and let the money grow further for the next 10 years.

Partial Withdrawal: Withdraw a part of the funds while keeping the policy active.

Surrender the Policy: Exit the policy and reinvest the funds elsewhere.

Understanding the New Investment Proposal
The Bajaj Allianz representative suggested investing Rs. 5 lakhs yearly into a small-cap fund with a life-long goal plan for five years premium payment and a tenure life-long but with withdrawal options after five years.

Evaluating the New Proposal
Small-Cap Funds: These funds invest in smaller companies with high growth potential but also come with higher risk.

Premium Payment: You need to invest Rs. 5 lakhs annually for five years.

Liquidity: You can withdraw funds after five years, offering some flexibility.

Charges: ULIPs generally have higher charges compared to mutual funds.

Detailed Analysis and Recommendations
Comparing ULIPs and Mutual Funds
It’s important to understand the differences between ULIPs and mutual funds to make an informed decision.

Cost Structure: ULIPs often have higher charges compared to mutual funds. These charges can impact the overall returns.

Flexibility: Mutual funds offer more flexibility in terms of switching between funds and withdrawing investments.

Investment Goals: Small-cap funds can offer higher returns but come with higher risk. They are suitable for investors with a high-risk appetite and a long-term horizon.

Recommendations
Continue with the Current ULIP
If you are satisfied with the current growth and performance, you can continue with the existing ULIP. Since you are halfway through the premium payment term, you might want to let the investment grow further for the remaining term.

Partial Withdrawal
You can consider making a partial withdrawal if you need funds for any specific goals. This allows you to benefit from the growth while keeping the policy active.

Surrender and Reinvest
Considering the high charges of ULIPs, you might get better returns by investing in mutual funds. You can surrender the current ULIP and reinvest the funds into mutual funds for potentially higher returns.

New Investment Proposal
Investing Rs. 5 lakhs annually into a small-cap fund can be considered if you have a high-risk appetite and seek higher returns. However, ensure you understand the risks associated with small-cap funds.

Exploring Mutual Funds as an Alternative
Types of Mutual Funds
Equity Funds: Invest in stocks and aim for long-term growth. Suitable for long-term financial goals.

Debt Funds: Invest in fixed-income securities. Offer stability and regular income.

Hybrid Funds: Combine equity and debt for balanced risk and return. Ideal for moderate-risk investors.

Advantages of Mutual Funds
Diversification: Spread risk across various assets, reducing the impact of market volatility.

Professional Management: Managed by experienced fund managers who make informed investment decisions.

Liquidity: Easily redeemable, providing quick access to your funds.

Cost-Effective: Lower charges compared to ULIPs, enhancing overall returns.

Power of Compounding
Investing in mutual funds over the long term can help you benefit from the power of compounding. By reinvesting your returns, you can grow your wealth exponentially.

Long-Term Growth
Regular Investments: Making regular contributions to mutual funds can help you accumulate significant wealth over time.

Patience and Discipline: Staying invested through market cycles ensures you benefit from the long-term growth potential of equity investments.

Final Insights
Given your current financial situation and investment goals, you need to weigh the pros and cons of continuing with your current ULIP or switching to mutual funds.

Current ULIP: Continue if you are satisfied with its performance and growth potential. Consider partial withdrawal if you need funds for specific goals.

Mutual Funds: Offer better flexibility, lower charges, and higher potential returns compared to ULIPs. Suitable for long-term wealth creation.

New Proposal: Small-cap funds can offer high returns but come with higher risk. Ensure you understand the risks and your investment goals before committing.

Making informed investment decisions is crucial for achieving your financial goals. Consider consulting with a certified financial planner to tailor an investment strategy that suits your risk appetite, financial goals, and time horizon.

By evaluating your current investments, understanding your options, and considering mutual funds as a viable alternative, you can make a well-informed decision that aligns with your financial objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7026 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 30, 2024Hindi
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HI Anil ji, I am shri, age 51 and my net take home salary is 1.13 lac monthly. My current expenses and investment structure is given below. As salaried person, Retirement will be at the age of 60. Net take home is 1.13 lac after deducting below given contributions. 5600 voluntary pf 6000 employer nps current Investment valuation (in Lac) ppf stock mf nps Epf Total 21.04 5.7 12.84 4.92 17 61.5 The above PPF valuation is of my and spouse account which will be maturing on Mar 2025 Rs.5.4 lac generated in daughters PPF account. Current Monthly Investment 4000 NPS 25000 SIP - nippon india small cap fund-growth 25000 SIP - quant midcap fund- regular growth 20000 SIP - quant small cap fund- regular growth 74000 TOTAL SIP started just one year back and currently PPF is running with minimum contribution to continue the account. Planning to increase SIP amount every year, depend upon increment from company and target is to achieve SIP of 1 lac. Almost 40,000 monthly kept for house hold and other expenses such as Mediclaim, car and bike insurance etc. Don’t have any Loan liability. No life cover and I am the only earning member with dependent of spouse and daughter. Daughter is in 12 std, age 17 and want to pursue Engineering. Future Fees will be paid from MF redemption if sufficient saving is not generated. Expectation to have corpus of 5 Cr on retirement. Do we need to withdraw and divert the PPF amount to MF ? Kindly suggest the Funds. or shall I continue in PPF? is it feasible to achieve 5 cr or what will be the corpus amount after continuing above investment? Secondly, withdrawal from MF to get 50000 per month for monthly expenses. Currently staying in own 1 bhk costing nearly 1.25 cr (No Home Loan) and after 5 years (after completion of daughter’s education) want to purchase 2 bhk flat which will cost around 2.5 – 2.60 cr. The above expectations may sound on higher side, but kindly advise action plan to reach nearby. Thanks in advance.
Ans: Shri, your current financial structure is quite robust. The take-home salary of Rs. 1.13 lakh is well-allocated towards savings and investments. Your monthly investment strategy, especially with SIPs and contributions to NPS, is commendable. You’ve done well to diversify your investments across different asset classes like PPF, stocks, mutual funds, NPS, and EPF.

Evaluating Your PPF and NPS Contributions
The PPF account maturity in March 2025 provides a good opportunity to reassess its role in your portfolio. The current PPF valuation of Rs. 21.04 lakhs (including your spouse’s account) is a safe and low-risk investment. However, with your goal of achieving a Rs. 5 crore corpus, the returns from PPF might not suffice.

Your NPS contributions are beneficial due to the tax benefits under Section 80CCD(1B). However, it’s important to remember that NPS has a long lock-in period until retirement. This could limit your flexibility.

Instead of withdrawing from PPF to invest in mutual funds, you can continue the PPF until maturity and then assess the need based on market conditions. As PPF provides a fixed and risk-free return, it’s wise to balance it with other growth-oriented investments.

SIP Strategy
Your current SIPs in small and mid-cap funds are aligned with higher risk and higher return strategies. Small and mid-cap funds can offer significant growth over the long term but are also more volatile.

As you plan to increase your SIP contributions annually, consider adding some large-cap or balanced funds to your portfolio. These funds provide stability and can cushion your portfolio during market downturns.

Given the one-year duration of your current SIPs, it's essential to regularly review their performance. Consistently monitor the funds, but avoid frequent changes unless there’s a significant underperformance.

Instead of withdrawing from mutual funds for monthly expenses, consider building an emergency fund. You can invest this fund in low-risk instruments that are easily accessible.

Assessing Your Retirement Goal
Your target of achieving a Rs. 5 crore corpus at retirement is ambitious but achievable with disciplined investing. Given the current investment structure, it's feasible to get close to this target. However, it would be wise to regularly reassess your goals and make necessary adjustments to your SIP contributions.

If you maintain and gradually increase your current investment strategy, you’re on the right path. Focus on ensuring that your portfolio remains diversified across different asset classes.

Planning for Daughter's Education
Your plan to fund your daughter’s engineering education through mutual fund redemptions is practical. Given the short timeframe, it's advisable to invest the amount earmarked for her education in safer instruments. You can consider shifting some of the mutual funds into debt funds or liquid funds as the education expenses near.
Real Estate Consideration
While you plan to purchase a 2BHK flat after your daughter’s education, it's essential to evaluate the impact on your overall financial goals. The cost of Rs. 2.5-2.6 crore is significant. It’s crucial to assess whether this investment will impact your retirement corpus goal.

Since you currently stay in your own 1BHK flat, consider whether upgrading to a 2BHK is essential or if the funds could be better used towards your retirement savings.

Insurance and Risk Management
Currently, you lack life insurance, which is a critical aspect, especially as the sole breadwinner with dependents. I strongly recommend getting a term life insurance policy to cover at least 10-15 times your annual income. This will ensure financial security for your family in case of unforeseen circumstances.

Also, evaluate the adequacy of your current Mediclaim policy. Ensure that the sum insured covers potential healthcare costs adequately, considering inflation in medical expenses.

Action Plan to Achieve Financial Goals
Continue and Review SIPs: Continue with your SIPs, but ensure diversification. Add large-cap or balanced funds for stability. Regularly review the performance but avoid frequent changes unless necessary.

Insurance Coverage: Secure adequate life insurance and ensure your health insurance covers inflation-adjusted medical costs.

Retain PPF until Maturity: Let the PPF mature in 2025, then reassess its role in your portfolio. Don’t withdraw now; it offers a risk-free return.

Emergency Fund: Build an emergency fund in liquid or debt instruments instead of relying on mutual funds for monthly expenses.

Real Estate Decision: Reevaluate the need to upgrade to a 2BHK flat. Assess its impact on your retirement goals.

Education Planning: For your daughter’s education, start shifting the required amount into safer instruments like debt funds as the time nears.

Final Insights
Shri, your financial foundation is solid. With the right adjustments and a disciplined approach, you’re well on your way to achieving your financial goals. It’s crucial to regularly reassess your investments and ensure you have the right insurance coverage in place. Continue with your current strategy, but ensure diversification and risk management are prioritized.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Dr. Shyam, I had my teeth cleaned 6 months ago and after that was done I saw discoloration on certain teeth that wasn't there before. Years ago I had my teeth cleaned and one particular tooth after the cleaning was sensitive to touch. I had a crown put in from two different dental offices. The first one did the crown right, but was trying to charge me $3,500 more than the agreement they made with Medicare. Medicare corrected that. I other dentist did a crown and it didn't go all the way up to my gums and is sensitive to especially cold things. I'm not having very good experiences with dentist by and large. Can't find an honest one or one that can actually do the job right. I feel being on Medicare your a target to bring in money. Not sure what to do next. Supposed to go back and have them redo the crown that didn't go to my gums, but it also was ttd place to didn't clean my teeth right and discolored some of them. Any suggestions on how to trust there is actually an capable and honest dentist out there who can perform properly?
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1. Ask for referrals: Ask friends, family, or coworkers for recommendations. They can provide valuable insights into a dentist's work quality and bedside manner.

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6. Check their approach to preventive care: A capable dentist emphasizes preventive care, including regular cleanings, exams, and education on oral hygiene.

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am 30 years old not married & now my parents are forcing me to get married. I think i am good looking guy. It's not like i have never been with girls. I have had brief flings with multiple girls. And there was one girl whom i was in a platonic relationship with with lot of emotional sharing & have spent a lot of time with her. The same goes with another girl. Both of them have told me that i have been pretty cool & girls would like me to be their bf or husband. But i am not able to accept anyone because of the guilt that of my past that i never had a relationship. Never been able to tell anyone that i had a gf. I know this is wrong to compare my life but i can't stop thinking that way. Can you tell me what to do? Like a contsant regret of not having a very steamy cool fancy relationship from outside. I know relationships have it's own ups & downs. But this guilt is killing me that i missed out lot of things in life & if get married in an arranged marriage i would feel myself to be a looser who couldn't even find a girl on his own. Though i know all of these comparisons are wrong & i should be rational. I am not able to help it. Please help me out
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whatever you are feeling, it is very normal. More people than you could imagine go through this same phase. But as you mentioned, these are just thoughts; there is no truth to them. Not having a relationship does not make you uncool. It merely means that you did not meet your perfect match yet. I understand that you feel like you have missed out on something and that feeling is valid. It might not be reasonable, but it's very natural to think this way. I can suggest one thing- why don't you try a dating or matchmaking app to find your own partner? That way, you will be keeping your parents' wishes and won't let yourself down either. It will also give you more control over choosing your life partner.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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