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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9251 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
PATHY Question by PATHY on Jun 02, 2024Hindi
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How many percentage of amount should I invest in each sectors mutual funds

Ans: Importance of Diversification in Mutual Funds
Investing in mutual funds is an excellent way to build wealth over time. By choosing diversified equity funds, you can spread your risk across various sectors. This strategy helps in managing market volatility and achieving steady growth.

Benefits of Diversified Equity Funds
Diversified equity funds invest in a variety of sectors. This allows the fund manager to select and rotate sectors based on market conditions. The manager’s expertise helps in maximizing returns and minimizing risks.

Avoiding Sector-Specific Funds
Sector-specific funds focus on one particular sector, such as technology or infrastructure. These funds can be very volatile. If the sector performs poorly, your investment can suffer significant losses. It’s better to avoid such high-risk funds.

Recommended Allocation Strategy
To balance risk and return, invest in diversified equity funds. A good strategy involves spreading your investments across different categories of mutual funds.

Large Cap Funds
Large cap funds invest in well-established companies with a strong track record. These companies are stable and less volatile. Allocate around 40-50% of your investment to large cap funds. This will provide stability and steady growth to your portfolio.

Mid Cap Funds
Mid cap funds invest in medium-sized companies. These companies have the potential for high growth but come with moderate risk. Allocate about 20-30% of your investment to mid cap funds. This balance helps in achieving higher returns while managing risk.

Small Cap Funds
Small cap funds invest in smaller companies with high growth potential. These funds are riskier but can offer high returns. Limit your exposure to small cap funds to around 10-15%. This ensures that you benefit from potential growth without taking on too much risk.

Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi cap funds invest across all market capitalizations. The fund manager has the flexibility to adjust the portfolio based on market conditions. Allocate about 20-30% of your investment to flexi cap funds. This flexibility helps in optimizing returns while managing risk.

Role of Fund Manager
A skilled fund manager plays a crucial role in managing diversified equity funds. They monitor market trends and economic indicators to make informed investment decisions. Their expertise in sector selection, allocation, and rotation helps in achieving optimal returns.

Importance of Regular Reviews
Regularly reviewing your investment portfolio is essential. Market conditions change, and so should your investment strategy. Monitor the performance of your funds and make adjustments if necessary. This ensures that your investments align with your financial goals.

Seeking Professional Guidance
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice. A CFP can help tailor your investment strategy to your specific needs and risk appetite. They provide expert advice on portfolio management and regular reviews.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds replicate a market index and do not involve active management. They offer limited growth potential and can underperform in volatile markets. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, aim to outperform the market through strategic decisions.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Investing through regular funds via a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a CFP credential offers several benefits. You get access to professional advice, regular portfolio reviews, and updates on market trends. This ensures that your investments are well-managed and optimized for growth.

Conclusion
Your investment strategy should focus on diversified equity funds. Avoid sector-specific funds due to their high risk. Allocate your investments across large cap, mid cap, small cap, and flexi cap funds. Regular reviews and professional guidance will help in achieving your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9251 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9251 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Money
Hello expert, I hope this message finds you well. My name is Hemanth, and I have recently completed my BTech. I am about to start my career in an IT company with a monthly salary of ?60,000. I am keen on planning my investments wisely and would like to seek your expertise on the matter. Specifically, I am interested in understanding how I can allocate my funds across different sectors to ensure a balanced and growth-oriented portfolio.
Ans: Hemanth, congratulations on your new job! Starting your career is a big milestone, and planning your investments early is a wise decision. Let’s dive into how you can allocate your funds across different sectors to create a balanced and growth-oriented portfolio.

Understanding Your Financial Goals

Before we jump into investment options, it’s important to understand your financial goals. Since you're just starting your career, you may have short-term goals like buying gadgets or a bike, and long-term goals like buying a house or retirement. Having clear goals will help you plan your investments better.

Building an Emergency Fund

The first step in financial planning is building an emergency fund. Aim to save 3-6 months' worth of expenses. This fund should be easily accessible, so consider keeping it in a savings account or a liquid mutual fund. An emergency fund provides financial security during unforeseen circumstances.

Allocating Funds for Investments

After setting aside your emergency fund, let’s allocate your Rs. 60,000 monthly salary. A good starting point is to follow the 50-30-20 rule:

50% for essential expenses (rent, groceries, utilities)
30% for discretionary spending (entertainment, dining out)
20% for savings and investments
Mutual Funds: A Core Investment Option

Mutual funds are a great way to start investing. They offer diversification and professional management, which are essential for beginners. Let’s break down the different types of mutual funds:

Equity Mutual Funds

Large-Cap Funds: These invest in large, well-established companies. They offer stability and moderate returns. Ideal for long-term goals.
Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds: These invest in mid-sized and smaller companies. They have higher growth potential but also higher risk. Suitable for long-term investment if you have a higher risk tolerance.
Sectoral/Thematic Funds: These invest in specific sectors like technology, healthcare, etc. They can offer high returns but come with higher risk. Good for investors with a good understanding of market trends.
Debt Mutual Funds

Short-Term Debt Funds: These invest in short-term fixed-income securities. They are less risky than equity funds and are good for short-term goals.
Long-Term Debt Funds: These invest in long-term fixed-income securities. They offer stable returns with moderate risk.
Liquid Funds: Ideal for parking surplus funds for short periods. They offer better returns than savings accounts with high liquidity.
Hybrid Mutual Funds

Balanced Funds: These invest in a mix of equity and debt. They offer a balance of risk and return. Good for investors looking for moderate growth with lower risk.
Monthly Income Plans (MIPs): These primarily invest in debt with a small portion in equity. They offer regular income with lower risk.
Benefits of Mutual Funds

Diversification: Spreads your investment across various assets, reducing risk.
Professional Management: Managed by experienced fund managers who make investment decisions.
Liquidity: You can easily buy and sell mutual fund units.
Power of Compounding: Reinvesting returns can significantly grow your investment over time.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

A SIP is a great way to invest in mutual funds. It allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly, say monthly. Benefits of SIP:

Rupee Cost Averaging: You buy more units when prices are low and fewer when prices are high, averaging out the cost.
Discipline: Encourages regular saving and investment.
Flexibility: You can start with a small amount and gradually increase it.
Avoiding Index Funds

Index funds are passively managed and track a market index. While they have low fees, they lack the potential for higher returns that actively managed funds offer. Actively managed funds are overseen by fund managers who can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions, potentially leading to better returns.

Direct Funds vs. Regular Funds

Direct funds may seem attractive due to lower fees, but they require you to manage your investments actively. Regular funds, managed through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials, offer professional advice and guidance. This can be invaluable, especially for new investors.

Investing in Public Provident Fund (PPF)

PPF is a long-term savings scheme backed by the government. It offers tax benefits and attractive interest rates. It’s a safe option for building a retirement corpus.

National Pension System (NPS)

NPS is a retirement-focused investment option. It offers tax benefits and a mix of equity and debt investments. It’s a good option for long-term retirement planning.

Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS)

ELSS is a type of mutual fund that offers tax benefits under Section 80C. It has a lock-in period of three years and invests predominantly in equities. It’s a good option for tax-saving and wealth creation.

Health Insurance

Ensure you have adequate health insurance. Medical emergencies can be financially draining. A good health insurance policy protects you and your family from unexpected medical expenses.

Term Insurance

Consider taking a term insurance policy. It offers a high sum assured at a low premium. It ensures financial security for your family in case of an unfortunate event.

Gold Investment

Investing in gold can be a good way to diversify your portfolio. However, instead of buying physical gold, consider paperless gold options like Gold ETFs or Sovereign Gold Bonds. They offer better returns and are hassle-free.

Monitoring and Reviewing Your Portfolio

Regularly monitor and review your investment portfolio. Market conditions and your financial goals can change over time. Adjust your investments accordingly to stay on track.

Seeking Professional Advice

While it's great to have a basic understanding of investments, seeking advice from a Certified Financial Planner can be beneficial. They can help you tailor your investment strategy to your specific needs and goals.

Final Insights

Hemanth, starting your investment journey early gives you a significant advantage. By diversifying your investments and focusing on long-term goals, you can build a robust financial portfolio. Remember to regularly review your investments and adjust them as needed. With careful planning and discipline, you can achieve financial security and growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9251 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 19, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 28 years old. I need 1cr in next 10years. Started Investing in below mutual funds. Need to your suggestions on below category allocation 1) tata, nippon - Small caps ( 15k) 2) quant, motilal- mid cap (15k) 3) hdfc 30, parag - flexi (15k) 4) uti 200 momentum 30 - (5k)
Ans: You are 28 years old and aiming for Rs. 1 crore in the next 10 years. Your monthly investments across different categories like small-cap, mid-cap, flexi-cap, and momentum funds indicate a structured approach. It’s great to see you have allocated specific amounts to each category, which shows your awareness of the need for diversification.

However, we need to evaluate your current allocation to check if it aligns with your goal of accumulating Rs. 1 crore. Let’s break it down in detail.

Small-Cap Allocation (Rs. 15,000)
Small-cap funds have high growth potential but also carry higher risks. Investing Rs. 15,000 per month in small-cap funds means you are willing to take a significant amount of risk. These funds can provide strong returns over the long term, but they are volatile.

Recommendations:

Ensure you are ready for short-term fluctuations.
Consider reviewing your portfolio quarterly to manage risk.
Keep a long-term perspective and avoid reacting to short-term market dips.
Small-cap funds are generally recommended for investors who have a high-risk appetite. They can offer high returns, but the journey will not be smooth. Therefore, patience is critical for this allocation.

Mid-Cap Allocation (Rs. 15,000)
Mid-cap funds offer a balanced approach between growth and risk. They usually perform better than large-cap funds during market rallies but are less volatile than small-cap funds. Your allocation here is sensible for long-term wealth creation.

Recommendations:

Maintain this allocation to balance your risk profile.
Mid-caps could provide a strong growth trajectory with less volatility than small-caps.
Keep reviewing performance annually to ensure it matches your goal.
Since mid-caps are relatively more stable than small-caps, you can expect steady growth over time. This is a good choice for someone with a long investment horizon.

Flexi-Cap Allocation (Rs. 15,000)
Flexi-cap funds are flexible in choosing stocks across market capitalizations, which offers you a diversified approach. You have chosen two funds from this category, and your allocation of Rs. 15,000 here shows that you value diversification.

Recommendations:

Continue investing in flexi-cap funds as they offer flexibility and stability.
These funds will help reduce risk, as fund managers can shift between large, mid, and small-cap stocks based on market conditions.
They serve as a great anchor for your portfolio, balancing out the risks from small and mid-cap allocations.
This allocation ensures that you are not missing out on any opportunity across market segments while minimizing downside risks during market corrections.

Momentum Fund Allocation (Rs. 5,000)
Momentum funds invest in stocks that have shown upward price movement, based on the premise that such stocks will continue to perform well. Your Rs. 5,000 investment here is moderate and could act as a high-risk, high-reward bet in your portfolio.

Recommendations:

Be cautious with momentum funds as they follow trends, which can sometimes reverse quickly.
Keep this allocation as a tactical investment rather than a core part of your portfolio.
Monitor the fund’s performance and market conditions closely.
While momentum funds may provide short-term gains, they could also lead to volatility. It’s good that this category is a smaller portion of your overall investment.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
You seem to have invested directly into these funds, which might seem like a cost-effective approach. However, direct funds require constant monitoring and research, which can be overwhelming for many investors.

Recommendations:

A better option is to invest through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) who has CFP credentials.
MFDs offer expert advice, portfolio review services, and guidance through market fluctuations, ensuring you stay on track towards your goal.
Although there is a small fee involved, the professional guidance can significantly enhance your portfolio performance.
Opting for professional help ensures that you make well-informed decisions without getting too caught up in the technicalities of the market.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
If you’re considering index funds or have heard of them as a low-cost option, let me explain why they may not suit your goal of achieving Rs. 1 crore in 10 years. Index funds merely replicate a market index and are passively managed. This limits their ability to beat the market.

Key Points to Consider:

Index funds do not offer the flexibility that actively managed funds provide.
In a volatile market, an actively managed fund can shift its investments, while an index fund cannot.
Over the long term, actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the index by making timely investment decisions.
For a goal as significant as Rs. 1 crore, actively managed funds are better because of their ability to adapt to market conditions and seek higher returns.

Tax Implications of Mutual Fund Investments
It’s crucial to be aware of the tax implications of your mutual fund investments, especially since you are aiming for a large corpus.

Equity Funds: For long-term capital gains (LTCG), any gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.
Debt Funds: Gains are taxed according to your income tax slab, which could reduce your overall returns if not managed properly.
Recommendations:

Be mindful of the tax you will pay when you redeem your mutual funds.
Plan your investments in a way that minimizes tax liabilities.
Consult a tax expert or a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for tax-efficient strategies.
Taxation can have a significant impact on your final corpus, so it's essential to factor this into your investment strategy.

Portfolio Rebalancing
As your portfolio grows, it will require regular rebalancing. This involves adjusting your investments to ensure that your risk profile remains aligned with your goals.

Recommendations:

Review your portfolio every six months or at least once a year.
Shift between asset classes based on market performance and your evolving risk tolerance.
Rebalancing helps in locking profits from over-performing assets and reallocating to underperforming but high-potential assets.
This practice will keep your portfolio healthy and aligned with your goal of Rs. 1 crore in the next 10 years.

Final Insights
Your current investment strategy is well-structured, and you are on the right path to building wealth. By sticking to your plan and making some adjustments, you can achieve your goal of Rs. 1 crore.

Stay consistent with your investments.
Rebalance your portfolio regularly.
Avoid relying on direct funds and index funds, which limit potential returns.
Keep an eye on market trends, but don’t make impulsive decisions based on short-term volatility.
By following these steps and seeking professional advice when needed, you are setting yourself up for financial success in the long term.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9251 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 23, 2025Hindi
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Hi , I have recently started investing in mutual funds. I have got following funds in my portfolio. I am 36 years old and I want to invest 30,000 per month and can step up 10% every year. I am looking at 15 years horizon for investment. Could you please tell me if my portfolio is diversified and how much should I invest in each fund and which fund should I stop? SBI Technology Opportunities Fund Direct-Growth, Nippon India Consumption Fund Direct-Growth, SBI Long Term Equity Fund Direct Plan-Growth, Quant ELSS Tax Saver Fund Direct-Growth, ICICI Prudential BHARAT 22 FOF Direct - Growth, Quant Infrastructure Fund Direct-Growth, UTI Gold ETF FoF Direct - Growth, ICICI Prudential Silver ETF FoF Direct - Growth, ICICI Prudential Nifty 50 Index Direct Plan-Growth Parag parikh flexi cap fund Motilal oswal midcap fund
Ans: You have taken a great step by investing in mutual funds.

A well-diversified portfolio can help maximize returns and reduce risks.

Let’s analyze your portfolio and suggest improvements.

Strengths of Your Portfolio
You are investing in multiple sectors and themes.

Your portfolio includes equity, sectoral, gold, and silver exposure.

You have tax-saving funds, which help with deductions under Section 80C.

Your investment horizon of 15 years allows long-term wealth creation.

Issues in Your Portfolio
1. Over-Diversification
Too many funds create unnecessary complexity.

Some funds may overlap in holdings, reducing effectiveness.

Managing multiple funds increases effort and tracking.

2. High Allocation to Sectoral & Thematic Funds
Sectoral funds focus on specific industries.

If the sector underperforms, your returns may be affected.

Diversification should not be restricted to selected themes.

3. Exposure to Gold and Silver ETF FoFs
Precious metals are good for stability but not for long-term growth.

Equity funds generally outperform gold and silver over 15 years.

Allocating too much to metals may lower overall portfolio returns.

4. Investing in an Index Fund
Index funds do not actively manage risks.

Market corrections affect index funds more.

Actively managed funds have better growth potential.

Funds to Stop or Reduce
Gold and Silver ETF FoFs → Not ideal for long-term wealth creation.

Technology and Consumption Funds → Sector-specific risk is high.

Bharat 22 FOF → Limited diversification, better alternatives exist.

One ELSS Fund → Keeping two tax-saving funds is unnecessary.

Nifty 50 Index Fund → Actively managed funds are better.

Stopping or reducing these funds will make your portfolio stronger.

Funds to Continue & Increase Allocation
1. Flexi-Cap Fund
Adapts to market changes.

Invests across large, mid, and small-cap stocks.

Provides flexibility and stability.

2. Mid-Cap Fund
Higher growth potential over 15 years.

Mid-cap stocks have strong wealth creation opportunities.

Suitable for long-term aggressive investors.

3. Infrastructure Fund (Limited Allocation)
India's infrastructure sector is growing.

Can provide good returns if held for the long term.

Keep exposure limited to avoid concentration risk.

4. One ELSS Tax-Saving Fund
Helps in tax savings under Section 80C.

Invest in one ELSS instead of two.

Choose the one with a better track record.

Suggested Monthly Investment Split (Rs. 30,000)
Flexi-Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000

Mid-Cap Fund – Rs. 8,000

ELSS Tax-Saving Fund – Rs. 5,000

Infrastructure Fund – Rs. 3,000

Balanced Advantage Fund – Rs. 4,000 (for stability)

This allocation ensures:

Growth from flexi-cap and mid-cap funds.

Tax benefits from ELSS.

Stability from a balanced advantage fund.

Importance of Annual Step-Up
Increasing investments by 10% every year is a great strategy.

Compounding works better with higher contributions over time.

Helps in beating inflation and achieving larger goals.

Final Insights
Reduce the number of funds to improve efficiency.

Avoid sectoral funds unless you track them actively.

Stop investing in gold, silver, and index funds.

Focus more on flexi-cap and mid-cap for long-term wealth.

Keep reviewing performance every year and rebalance if needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9251 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Money
Hi sir iam 34 year old invest SIP 5000 in large mid small cap flexcap fund ,i need to one fund for balancing my port polio plz suggest SBI contra or SBI PSU or Invesco contra or sector like icici Prudential technology or icici Prudential infrastructure which one is better kindly give your opinion sir
Ans: You are only 34 years old.
That gives you good time to grow your wealth.
Investing in flexicap, largecap, midcap and smallcap is a smart mix.
This structure supports both stability and long-term compounding.
Rs. 5000 SIP is a steady commitment at this stage.

Now you want to add one more fund for better balance.
That’s a wise move. But selection must be done with care.

Let’s evaluate the options in front of you.

Understanding Contra Funds and Their Role

Contra funds follow a different style of investing.
They invest in unpopular or underperforming sectors or companies.
They believe those areas will turn around in future.

Contra strategy works well in volatile or sideways markets.
It needs patience and long-term holding to see results.
Not suitable for short-term goals or conservative investors.

A contra fund can be used by mature investors with experience.
But for many young investors, it brings complexity and delay in returns.

So, if you select contra fund, invest with patience for 7 years or more.
And make sure the rest of your portfolio is stable.

What About Sector-Based Funds Like Technology or Infrastructure?

Sectoral funds invest in just one theme or sector.
Like technology or infrastructure or pharma.
They carry high risk and high return potential.

If the sector performs, returns are very strong.
But if sector fails, returns may be poor for many years.

These funds need right timing and sector understanding.
They are not suitable for core portfolio.
You should not use these for balancing your main holdings.

Use them only if you have surplus money for experimental investing.
Limit exposure to 5% of your total portfolio only.

So, if you have Rs. 5,000 monthly SIP,
Sector funds should get no more than Rs. 250 per month.

What About PSU-Themed Funds?

PSU-focused funds invest in government-run companies.
These companies usually operate in banking, oil, power, etc.
Their returns depend on government policy and reforms.

They may perform well during economic growth and PSU revival cycles.
But they underperform when reforms are slow or global issues rise.

PSU funds are very cyclical.
They are not meant for steady long-term compounding.
They are also not suitable as a core fund in your structure.

Like sector funds, keep PSU exposure low.
These should not disturb your main diversified portfolio.

How to Choose the Right Balancing Fund

At your age and SIP stage, you need one thing: stability with long-term growth.
So, adding a fund that works across market cycles is better.

The right choice is not theme-based, not sectoral.
Instead, go with a well-managed diversified fund with active strategy.
This gives smoother returns and keeps your portfolio well-balanced.

Diversified funds have exposure across all sectors.
The fund manager shifts allocation as per market needs.
This is safer and more effective than single-theme funds.

Also, make sure your investment is in regular plan through Certified Financial Planner.
Regular plan gives you expert support and monitoring.

If you invest directly, you miss timely rebalancing and expert advice.
Direct funds look cheaper, but harm you with wrong fund choices.
With regular funds, the CFP helps in tracking and review.

That helps you stay on track with your goals.

What to Do If You Still Want Exposure to a Thematic Idea

If you still want to invest in a contra or sector idea,
Limit your exposure to 5% or 10% of total SIP only.
This helps you take benefit if the theme works.
But it does not disturb your main portfolio.

Always consult your Certified Financial Planner before investing in themes.
Don’t go by news, YouTube or peer suggestions.
Proper review is important before adding such funds.

Make sure your core portfolio has at least 80% in diversified funds.
This includes flexicap, largecap, and balanced allocation funds.
Only 20% or less should go into thematic funds if needed.

Final Insights

You are doing very well with your current strategy.
Age 34 is ideal time to focus on building strong investment base.
Your mix of flexi, large, mid and small cap is balanced.

Now you are thinking of adding one more fund.
That is fine, but avoid sector and PSU-based funds for this purpose.

Instead, go with a diversified active fund under regular plan.
That gives you smoother returns and risk-managed growth.

If still curious about contra or sector-based funds,
Use them only for experimentation. Keep exposure very low.
Monitor performance every 6 months. Don’t add more if not performing.

All your SIPs should be tracked by a Certified Financial Planner.
This gives you 360-degree support for risk, tax and goals.
Avoid random suggestions and social media-based fund ideas.

Invest with a purpose, review regularly and act with discipline.
That’s how real wealth is created over time.

For scheme-specific recommendation, please contact an MFD-CFP one-on-one.


Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Anu I'm 35, recently widowed. My husband passed away in a road accident. I was in a state of shock when he left me. I took a break from everything and resumed office only six months ago. A young man from my office, whose engagement was cancelled last year, has started showing interest in me. I don't know if he is doing it out of sympathy that I am a widow. But I am beginning to enjoy his company. I am surprised and also worried if it is too soon. I never believed there would be another guy in my life after my husband. Do you think I am feeling lonely? He's 37, gentle and respectful. We haven't kissed or got intimate. No flirting either. We like each other's company and there is an instant spark how we light each others' lives. I don't know if I am open to love, if this relationship will work. I don't know yet but how do I check if I am emotionally vulnerable? My family and in-laws would disapprove if I moved on 'so soon.' Is it wrong to date someone so early? I am feeling guilty too.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry for your loss.
And NO, it is not wrong to date someone; early or not is something that is very subjective in nature. It is possible that family and in-law may disapprove of you moving on, but over time when they realize that you are searching for a true companion and if the person is someone that they can trust, there maybe no reason why they will object.

Now, here comes a reality check questions;
- Are you jumping into another relationship after you have healed from your grief and you feel that you are ready for a new journey
OR
- Are you impulsively giving into your feelings of loneliness and this gentleman seems to fit the label of someone who is caring and keeps you distracted from your grief?

If it's the first case, then I am sure you know that it feels right; then it's just a matter of your family understanding it when they can...
But if it's the second case, please exercise caution as it can backfire leaving you feeling more lonely and less fulfilled...

Evaluate it keeping your emotions aside and I am sure you will come to the right decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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