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Investing in REITs with minimal capital: What are the options?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
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Hlw SIr. Good morning ???? Mujhe Reits ke baare me information chahiye. Agar mai reits me min invest krna chahu to Kitna min invest krskte h?? Kyuki maine google m study Kia ki reits Bahut profit deta h, Isme hum min amount bhi invest krskte h. Mujhe uske baare me koi knowledge NHi h. Kripya krke mera margdarshan KARE. ????????????????

Ans: What are REITs?

Definition: REITs are companies that own or finance income-producing real estate.
Structure: They pool funds from investors to invest in various real estate properties.
Types: There are different types of REITs, including equity REITs, mortgage REITs, and hybrid REITs.
Benefits of Investing in REITs

Liquidity: REITs are traded on stock exchanges like regular stocks, providing liquidity.
Diversification: They offer exposure to a diversified portfolio of real estate assets.
Regular Income: They typically provide regular income through dividends.
Accessibility: REITs allow small investors to invest in large-scale real estate projects.
Minimum Investment in REITs

Investment Amount: Minimum investment amounts can vary based on the REIT and the platform you use.
General Range: In India, the minimum investment in publicly traded REITs can be as low as Rs 10,000.
Platform Specifics: Check the specific REIT or investment platform for exact minimum requirements.
Evaluating REIT Investments

Performance: Look at historical performance, management quality, and the underlying real estate assets.
Dividends: Consider the yield and consistency of dividend payments.
Fees: Be aware of management fees and other costs associated with investing in REITs.
Considerations Before Investing

Research: Thoroughly research the REIT’s portfolio, management, and market conditions.
Risk: Understand the risks involved, including market risk and real estate sector risks.
Diversification: Ensure that REITs fit well with your overall investment strategy and risk tolerance.
Final Insights
Start Small: Begin with a small investment to understand how REITs perform.
Regular Review: Regularly review your REIT investments to ensure they align with your financial goals.
Consultation: Consider speaking with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice on integrating REITs into your investment strategy.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

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MERA NAAM SURINDER HAI MERI SALARY 30th PER MONTH HAI AND HEALTH INSURANCE B LE RAKHA AND MAIN 2.5 LK SAVE KR RAKHE HAI KON SE MUTUAL FUND MAI INVEST KRU KI 5 SAAL MAI PAISE DOUBLE HO JAYE
Ans: 1. Understanding Your Financial Situation

Monthly Salary:

Rs 30,000 per month.
Savings:

Rs 2.5 lakhs available for investment.
Health Insurance:

Already in place, which is good for financial security.
2. Investment Goals

Objective:
Double your investment in 5 years.
3. Selecting Suitable Mutual Funds

Equity Mutual Funds:

High Growth Potential:

Equity funds have the potential to deliver high returns.
They invest in stocks of various companies.
Types of Equity Funds:

Large-Cap Funds:
Invest in large, established companies.
Lower risk compared to mid and small-cap funds.
Mid-Cap Funds:
Invest in medium-sized companies with growth potential.
Higher returns with moderate risk.
Small-Cap Funds:
Invest in small companies with high growth potential.
High risk but also high returns.
Flexi-Cap Funds:

Flexible Investment:
These funds invest across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks.
Fund managers have the flexibility to shift investments.
Thematic or Sectoral Funds:

Sector-Specific Growth:
Invest in specific sectors like technology, healthcare, etc.
High risk but can offer high returns if the sector performs well.
4. Disadvantages of Index Funds

Limited Flexibility:

Index funds replicate market indices.
They cannot adapt to market changes quickly.
Average Returns:

Index funds usually provide average market returns.
Actively managed funds have the potential for higher returns.
5. Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Professional Management:

Expertise:

Managed by experienced professionals.
They make informed decisions based on market research.
Adaptive Strategy:

Can adjust portfolios based on market conditions.
Potential for higher returns than passive index funds.
6. Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Time-Consuming:

Requires constant monitoring and management.
Not suitable for those with limited time and expertise.
Complexity:

Needs a deep understanding of the market.
Professional management is often more beneficial.
7. Investing Through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)

Expert Guidance:

Tailored Advice:

CFPs provide advice based on your financial goals.
They help in selecting the right mutual funds.
Continuous Support:

Ongoing support and portfolio review.
Helps in making informed investment decisions.
Final Insights

Diversify Your Investment:

Spread your Rs 2.5 lakhs across different types of equity funds.
This helps in balancing risk and maximizing returns.
Regular Monitoring:

Keep an eye on your investments.
Adjust your portfolio as needed to stay aligned with your goals.
Seek Professional Advice:

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide valuable insights.
They offer personalized advice to help you achieve your investment goals.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

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Hi sir Good evening M a lady n giving Tution at home. I fill itr since 4 yrs, 6lac per annum is present income through Tution. I invest in sip 2k from July 2024 and second sip has been stopped in March2024 . First one is regular. I want knowledge about Reits Investment. I want to invest in min lump sum amount . Plz guide me how much min investment I will make on Reits.
Ans: Your Current Situation
Income: You earn Rs 6 lakhs per annum through tuition.

SIP Investments: You have a SIP of Rs 2,000 per month since July 2024. Another SIP stopped in March 2024.

Investment Interest: You want to know about REITs (Real Estate Investment Trusts) and how to invest a minimum lump sum amount.

REITs Investment Insights
1. What are REITs?

Real Estate Exposure: REITs allow you to invest in real estate without buying property.
Income Generation: They generate rental income and distribute it as dividends.
Diversification: REITs offer exposure to commercial real estate, adding diversity to your portfolio.
2. Benefits of Investing in REITs

Regular Income: REITs provide regular dividends from rental income.
Liquidity: They are traded on stock exchanges, making them easy to buy and sell.
Professional Management: Managed by experts, reducing the hassle of property management.
3. Disadvantages of REITs

Market Risk: REITs are subject to market fluctuations.
Interest Rate Sensitivity: REIT performance can be affected by interest rate changes.
Management Fees: Some REITs may have high management fees.
Minimum Investment in REITs
1. Investment Amount:

Affordable Entry: You can start with as low as Rs 50,000.
Regular Monitoring: Keep track of REIT performance to make informed decisions.
2. Investment Approach:

Lump Sum Investment: Suitable if you have a considerable amount to invest at once.
Diversified Portfolio: Include REITs as part of a diversified investment strategy.
Recommended Investment Strategy
1. Continue SIP Investments:

Consistency: Continue your existing SIP of Rs 2,000.
Increase Amount: Gradually increase your SIP amount as your income grows.
2. Allocate Funds to REITs:

Lump Sum Investment: Invest a minimum lump sum in REITs for diversification.
Monitor Performance: Regularly review REIT performance and market trends.
3. Build an Emergency Fund:

Financial Safety: Maintain an emergency fund for unexpected expenses.
Easy Access: Ensure it is liquid and easily accessible.
4. Seek Professional Guidance:

Expert Advice: Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized investment advice.
Regular Reviews: Schedule regular reviews of your investment portfolio.
Final Insights
Diversify Investments: Include REITs for diversification and regular income.

Monitor Regularly: Keep an eye on your investments and adjust as needed.

Professional Help: Consult a Certified Financial Planner for tailored advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

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Hlw sir tell me about Reits. Real Estate investment. Min investment Kitna hota h sir Isme aur kabse profit aata h. And kaise invest krte h Reits m. Plz guide me. Thank you so much ????
Ans: What Are REITs?

Definition: REITs, or Real Estate Investment Trusts, are companies that own, operate, or finance income-generating real estate.

Structure: They allow individual investors to earn a share of the income produced through commercial real estate ownership without actually having to buy, manage, or finance any properties.

Minimum Investment in REITs

Entry Point: The minimum investment varies by REIT. Generally, you can start with as low as Rs 10,000.

Accessibility: REITs are traded on major stock exchanges, making them accessible to small investors.

Profit Generation in REITs

Income Source: REITs generate income primarily through rent collected from the properties they own.

Dividends: Investors receive dividends from these earnings, typically paid out quarterly or annually.

Capital Appreciation: Over time, the value of the properties owned by the REIT can increase, leading to capital gains.

Investment Timeline

Short-Term: You may start seeing dividend income within a few months.

Long-Term: Capital appreciation generally takes a longer time, potentially several years.

How to Invest in REITs

Choose a REIT:

Types: Decide whether you want to invest in Equity REITs (own and operate real estate) or Mortgage REITs (provide financing for income-producing real estate).

Research: Look at the track record, property portfolio, and management team of the REIT.

Brokerage Account:

Open an Account: If you don't already have a brokerage account, open one with a reputable broker.

Select REIT: Use your brokerage platform to select and buy shares of the REIT you are interested in.

Monitor Performance:

Review Regularly: Keep an eye on the performance of your REIT investments.

Market Conditions: Be aware of changes in the real estate market that could impact your investment.

Disadvantages of Direct Real Estate Investment

High Costs: Direct real estate investments require significant capital outlay for purchase, maintenance, and management.

Illiquidity: Real estate assets are not easily converted into cash without a substantial loss of value.

Advantages of REITs Over Direct Real Estate Investment

Liquidity: REITs can be bought and sold on stock exchanges, offering high liquidity.

Diversification: You can invest in a portfolio of properties across different sectors and locations.

Professional Management: REITs are managed by experienced professionals, ensuring better management of the properties.

Considerations Before Investing in REITs

Market Risks:

Economic Factors: REITs are subject to market risks and economic factors affecting real estate, such as interest rates and property market trends.
Investment Goals:

Align with Goals: Ensure that investing in REITs aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance.
Professional Guidance:

Certified Financial Planner: Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice tailored to your specific situation and financial objectives.
Final Insights

Diversify: Consider diversifying your investment across different types of REITs for balanced risk and return.

Stay Informed: Keep updated with market trends and REIT performance to make informed investment decisions.

Long-Term Perspective: While REITs can provide steady income, they are best suited for investors with a long-term perspective.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1284 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Hello Ms Anu, I am a 42yr female..married since 14 yrs and have 10yr old son . I am highly qualified and financially independent. My marriage was a arranged one.. but in these 14 yrs.. I never experienced love or and attachment from my husband's side. He is a family man.. there is no other woman involved..He loves his parents and his two sisters immensely... but always treats me as a option. I feel humiliated and lonely and he has short temper when i talk about this issue... so basically I don't discuss... but that is no solution... I am suffering and unhappy. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A few married men can be more focused on the women on their side of the family; it becomes easy to express love, care and attention to them as he has grown with them.
A wife happens to be someone that he is yet to understand. It requires effort to make a marriage work; your husband finds it convenient to take the easy way out and 'hang out' with his family.
So, here you take the lead and start. Start not by bringing forth your complaints as this is going to push him further to them which is going to annoy you BUT by inviting him to be with you. A lot of work, I get it...but the bottom line: that's what you want, right?
Plan dates evenings, take short vacations together, work-out together...the key is to establish a connection which never had its chance in the first place...So, give your best shot! Most times actions speak louder than words ever can...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1284 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Relationship
Namaste Mam Main Ek Ladki Se Bohot Pyaar Karta Hun Lekin Woh Kisi Aur Se Pyaar Karti Ek Wakt Pahle Woh Ladki Meri Acchi Dost Thi Fir Maine Soccha Ki Usse Ek Yeh Kehdu Ki Main Usse Be Inteha Pyaar Karta Hun Maine Usse Keh Diya Par Usne Muzhe Mana Kiya Eh Kehke Ki Usse Pyaar Karne Main Dilchajbi Nahi Aur Wahan Se Chali Gai Main Uss Din Bohot Dipretion Main Tha Fir Maine Yeh Faisla Kiya Ki Woh Apne Bhai Maa Baap Se Darkar Iss Rashte Ko Banane Main Dar Rahi Hogi Par Aaise Karte Karte 2 Saal Ho Gaye Aur Fir Ik Din Achanak Do Saal Baad Yeh Kehne Aati Hain Ki Main Ek Ladke Se Pyaar Karti Aur Tab Maine Usse Puccha Kya Tum Usse Shaadi Bhi Karna Chahti Ho To Ussne Jhijakte Hue Yeh Jawab Diya Ki Woh Usse Shaadi Karna Chahti Darsal Woh Mere Paas Yeh Madat Mangni Aai Thi Ki Woh Usse Milne Jaana Chahti Hain Aur Usse Usko Milne Keliye Kucch Paiso Ki Jarurat Hain To Maine Uss Situation Ko Samjhakar Uski Baaton Ko Samjhakar Usse Paise De Diye Magar Woh Muzhe Usse Pehle Maine Usse Yeh Kahan Ki Tum Mere Paas Kaise Aai Paise Mangne To Usne Kaha Ki Woh Muzhe Uska Ek Accha Dost Manti Isiliye Woh Mere Paas Madat Mangni Aai Thi Iska Main Matlab Kya Samjhu Ki Woh Muzhe Sachme Accha Dost Mantti Hain Yah Sirf Usse Paison Ki Jaruart Thi Isliye Agar Muzhe Apna Accha Dost Manti Hain To Kya Woh Bhavishya Main uss Ladke Jisse Woh Pyaar Karti Agar Uss Ladke Ne Uss Ladki Ki Dhoka Diya To Kya Woh Mere Paas Wapas Aa Sakti Kya Woh Mere Saath Shaadi Kar Sakti Hain Main Abbhi Usse Utna Hi Pyaar Karta Hoon Aur Usse Kabhi Kabar Baad Chit Karne Mile To Usse Healthy Conversation Karta Hoon To Kya Yeh Sambhav Ho Sakta Hain Ki Woh Aage Chalkar Mere Future Wife Bane Aur Main Uske Saath Hamesha Khush Rah Saku Aur Usse Khush Rakh Saku
Ans: Dear Hemant,
Nah! Bilkul nahin aur agar kabhi aisa hua bhi toh yeh zaroor jaan lena ki use aur koi mila nahin aur woh yeh jaanti hai ki aapka pyaar aapki kamzori hai isiliye koi bhi haalaat mein aap use sweekar kar lenge. Majboori hogi uski jab woh aapko chunegi, naaki yeh ki woh aap se pyaar karti hai...aur aise rishte zyaada tikte nahin.
Jab wusne saaf kahaa hai ki aapko dost maanti hai, toh is baat ko maan lijiye; yeh nah karke aapne khayaali Pulao pakaana shuru kiya hai...ki kya yeh hoga toh woh aapke paas chali aayegi...yeh nahin hoga toh woh kya aapse shaadi karegi?
Yeh sirf aapki zidd hai aur yahi zidd aapko maayusi ke alawaa kuch nahin dega.
Apni zindagi jiye, uspe dhyaan de kyonki yahi sab baatein leke baithenge toh khud ki zindagi mein aage badhne ke mauke bhi aapko nazar nahin aayenge.
Aur jahaan tak aapse paise maangne ki baat hai, toh use yeh toh zaroor pataa hai ki aap usse pyaar karte hain aur uski koi baat ko taalenge nahin...Toh paise ke liye manaa kaise karenge...Yeh jaan le ki woh aapse pyaar nahin karti aur jitni jaldi is baat ko maan lenge aap khule dil se jee paayenge. Naye dost banaye, nayi anubhavon ko aapnaaye; yeh sab tab hoga jab aap is kisse ko dimaag se hataa lenge...koshish kijiye...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1284 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024
Relationship
Hi Anu, i am 34 year old woman married to a 41 year old man. We are married for past 10 years. We had no sexual relationship for first 5 years, after lot of pestering and fights and realisation that there must a physical problem at my husband’s end i convinced him to visit an expert in this domain. Turns out he had low testosterone level. He took the necessary medication and i really tried for 1 year to make it work. It worked to a certain extent but it was more like a chore than something we really want to do. Then we decided that we should go for a baby as well while we are at it. Now my daughter is 2.5. Things never got better. We don’t talk about our lack of any intimacy physical or mental. We are living like roommates. He is the best husband a person can ask for on paper. My parents love him. He is the nicest guy. But in reality we never had any connection and no comparability. And whatever attraction and love i had for him in the beginning is lost completely. I have no idea what goes on his mind. He is a closed book i could never open. He accepts the problem but blames me too if i force him to open up. I am in such a bad place mentally. I keep thinking about the one life i got, i wasted it. Why did i get married so soon? I like someone in office who i have no future with because he is in some other country. I do not know what to do and how to live my life. I get thoughts that life should not be so long.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A case where the person shuts down because he carries the guilt of what is happening to him and what he is facing...not a very useful way of dealing with the situation but when society has drummed it into us that a 'man' is defined by his masculine traits and behaviors, can you blame him for it?
He is possibly embarrassed and this could be a reason for him 'closing down' within the marriage. He needs to be slowly cajoled out of what he is feeling...What the two of you could do is: start the marriage as though it is Day One...
Now, how would the two of you connect? How would things be different?
It is an attempt to reconnect with no past baggage which helps in focusing on each other in the present day. That helps in making good solid commitments to one another but of course, there has to be a lot of communication in this process. Do take the help of a professional if this feels too much to go through by yourselves.
And as for the colleague; hmmmm grass on the other side will always seem greener!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 17, 2024Hindi
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Mam i love a boy.. Who is 2 yr younger then me and... Now he is preparing for jE.. Post and... My parents worry about my marriage... I told him about this.... He is craying... So much... He love s me very much.... He don't tell about this relationship.....to his parents.. Because he dont have any.... Job..... What should i do mam.... Plz.... Tell me... Mamm plzzz
Ans: First, have an honest conversation with him about what both of you realistically can and cannot do right now. Since he is still working on his future and you feel pressure from your family, try to think about how much time he might need to reach a stable point. Then, consider whether waiting for him is something that is possible for you and acceptable to your family.

It might also be helpful to have a calm conversation with your parents, expressing your feelings for him while being open about the current situation. Sometimes parents worry because they don’t know the full picture. Explaining that he is working hard toward his career goals may give them a better understanding. You could also ask them if they’d be willing to wait for some time before making any decisions on your marriage, if they feel comfortable with that.

If waiting is not possible and your family pressures you to consider other options, it’s important to think about your own long-term happiness and make the best choice for you. These situations are never easy, but by staying honest with yourself and your family, you will be able to make a decision that respects both your love and your future stability.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2024Hindi
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Hello, There is a woman in my office working in my department. She is my friend's wife and was referred by me for this job. We get to work closely often, but we both make opportunities to get to work together. Most of our time spent is on work related items, with few minutes of casual chats, and we both have spent a lot of time alone in office, working extra hours and all. I have a feeling that I am starting to yearn to spend time with her on work and she also tries to be around me. We both text outside of office hours, share a lot of "inside" jokes and we both look to be enjoying the time together. I am in a confused state because it looks like she is giving me a lot of signs to move forward to next levels, but I am pulling back and not advancing. We both are married and have families. Any advice?
Ans: To manage this, start by gently reinforcing professional boundaries. While it may feel awkward initially, limiting the personal, non-work-related conversations and texts can create some emotional distance. This will not only help reduce feelings of attachment but also prevent misunderstandings or assumptions from developing on either side. At the same time, it may be beneficial to reflect on your own life and current relationships. Often, feelings that arise outside our primary relationship can signal needs or emotions that might require attention within our existing commitments.

Redirecting your focus back to your own relationship with your spouse and engaging in activities that strengthen that bond can bring a renewed appreciation for the life you have built. Rekindling affection, open communication, and connection with your spouse could help provide a sense of fulfillment that might reduce the attraction you’re feeling toward your colleague.

It may also help to remind yourself of the potential risks involved, not only to your family life but also to your professional reputation and friendships. By focusing on maintaining a respectful, professional, and appropriate connection, you’re honoring both your commitments and protecting the integrity of all relationships involved. Choosing not to act on these feelings will ultimately support the stability of your personal life and career, allowing you to maintain a healthy and professional environment at work.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 09, 2024Hindi
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Hi I brought up from a middle class family now I'm married and having 3 yrs kid, my younger brother recently got married! Ever since his marg there was a problem going on between my mom, brother and her wife , all the 3 of them bringing their problems to me and husband it creates a huge impact on my mental health due to their problems, if I try to resolve nobody is listening, I'm staying nearby my parents which is a big disadvantage, directly it's affecting me and my family? I don't know how to overcome from this type of issue
Ans: A compassionate but firm boundary can make a difference here. For instance, you could gently explain to your mother, brother, and his wife that while you understand and empathize with their challenges, you’re finding it difficult to handle all the tension that arises from these discussions. You might let them know that, for the sake of your own mental health and family well-being, you need to step back from being involved in any discussions about their conflicts.

If they do come to you with their concerns, try gently redirecting them, perhaps by suggesting that they talk directly to each other or even consider family counseling if they’re open to it. Remind them that only they can solve these issues by communicating directly, rather than relying on you as a mediator. Over time, they may begin to understand that their repeated involvement of you is not a productive solution.

Creating some physical and emotional space is key. If living nearby is heightening the tension, consider adjusting how often you interact in person. Focusing more on your own family’s peace, stability, and happiness will also help. It may feel challenging at first, but taking steps to protect your boundaries will benefit everyone, and gradually, they may even recognize the need to work out these issues themselves without depending on you.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi ma’am, I am a 27 year old girl. My father is a very strict person. Since childhood I have tolerated many things like I was not allowed to make friends(not even girls, forgot about boys). When I was 12 years old I was told that I was not allowed to talk to boys, and if my father ever saw me doing so, he will kill me. So, I was not allowed to talk to any friend, forget about going out and other stuff. All I used to do is sit in my room and study,I was not allowed to go out to play, wasn’t allowed to watch tv, not even allowed to go and play with cousins. Even if there was a wedding in my family, i was not allowed to go out and enjoy. And this has continued till date. I am still not allowed to go out without my father’s permission. Although I live in Bengaluru and work in a big company with a high paying job. Even the salary I get is not mine. Because my father takes it from me and I can’t say no to him. I use to say to me that if I ever did anything which he thinks is wrong, he will kill me, or will not allow me to go to college and now he will not allow me to work. And now he want me to get married to someone of his choice because of caste system. But I have a boyfriend and I want to marry my him. But I can’t even tell this to my father, because once I tell him this, he will not allow me to leave the house ever again and he would get me married to next person he finds. I am very scared of him. I don’t want to get married to anyone but my boyfriend. What should I do? Should I run away and get married to my boyfriend. I don’t know what my father will do then. He is a very controlling person .
Ans: To start, consider small steps that allow you to establish a greater sense of independence. Setting aside a portion of your income in an account only you can access, even if done quietly, can help you prepare financially for the future you envision with your boyfriend. Gaining control over your finances can also give you a greater sense of autonomy, which is key for your emotional and practical well-being.

Considering your father’s intense reaction to any choices that don’t align with his, safety is a priority. Consulting with a therapist or a counselor could help you process the emotional impact of your experiences and, importantly, develop strategies for how to approach this situation. Speaking to a counselor may also help you find a safe way to discuss your relationship with your father and express your own wishes while understanding any resources that might be available to you if needed.

If, ultimately, you decide to move forward with your relationship and marriage independently of your father’s permission, preparing yourself for potential emotional fallout is essential. While it’s natural to hope for family acceptance, remember that creating your own happiness is equally important. Over time, if your father can see that you’re stable, happy, and independent, he may eventually respect your decision.

Taking steps toward your own life may feel overwhelming, but with support and gradual changes, you can find a path that balances your love for your family with your need for self-respect, autonomy, and a future that you choose.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

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