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Tejas

Tejas Chokshi  | Answer  |Ask -

Tax Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2023

CA Tejas Chokshi has over 20 years of experience in financial planning, income tax planning, strategic and risk advisory, banking and financial products and accounting and auditing.
He is an information system auditor, a forensic auditor and concurrent bank auditor.
Chokshi, who has a master’s degree in management, audit and accounting from Gujarat University, has completed his CA from the Institute of Chartered Accountants of India.... more
Alam Question by Alam on Jul 12, 2023Hindi
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Hello! I would like to inform all of you that, I have 4 daughter and I am working in the development section and earning for survivals of my like and hardly able to manage my all daughters education fee. Presently my elder daughter is studying in Hamdard University, Delhi and she is perusing her B-Tech in IT. But i am facing a lot of problem to provide her semester fee, so I request all of you to kindly guide where I can able to get some educational fund donation.

Ans: I understand that you are facing financial difficulties in providing educational funds for your daughter's studies. It's commendable that you are seeking assistance to support her education. Here are some options you can explore to seek educational fund donations:

Scholarship Programs: Research and apply for scholarship programs specifically designed for students pursuing higher education. These programs often provide financial assistance to deserving students based on their academic performance, financial need, or other criteria.

Non-Profit Organizations: There are several non-profit organizations, foundations, and trusts that provide financial aid and scholarships to students in need. Look for organizations that support education and inquire about their scholarship or grant programs.

Corporate Sponsorships: Some companies offer scholarships or sponsorships for deserving students under the applicable CSR schemes applicable as per the present companies act. Research companies in your area or within your field of work and check if they have any educational support programs.

Government Schemes: Inquire about government-sponsored scholarship programs or educational grants available for students from economically weaker sections. Contact the relevant government departments or education authorities for information and assistance.

Crowdfunding Platforms: Consider utilizing crowdfunding platforms that allow individuals to create campaigns and raise funds for specific causes. You can create a campaign highlighting your daughter's educational aspirations and financial constraints, and share it with friends, family, and social networks to seek support.

Local Community Support: Reach out to community organizations, local charities, religious institutions, or social welfare groups in your area. They may have programs or funds dedicated to supporting students in need.

When seeking educational fund donations, it is important to present your case with honesty, transparency, and authenticity. Explain your situation and provide relevant documentation to support your request. Additionally, make sure to follow any guidelines or application procedures specified by the organizations or programs you approach.

Remember, it's always advisable to conduct thorough research, be cautious of potential scams, and verify the credibility of any organization or program before sharing personal or financial information.

I wish you the best of luck in finding the necessary support to help your daughter continue her education!
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Money
Sir, I am 41 years old. I need fund for my daughter's higher education after 4.5 years and the same for my son after 9.5 years. Kindly suggest me suitable SIP and amount for the same.
Ans: You are 41 years old and need funds for your children’s higher education. Your daughter’s education is in 4.5 years, and your son’s in 9.5 years. These are your primary goals. Ensuring adequate funds for these milestones is crucial. Let's break down how to approach this systematically.

Importance of Goal-Based Investing
Clear Objectives: Your goals are specific and time-bound. This clarity is essential for effective financial planning.

Risk Tolerance: Your risk tolerance should be moderate to high, especially for your son’s education fund. With more time, you can absorb market volatility.

Staggered Investment Strategy: Given the different time horizons, you should use a staggered approach. This means investing differently for each goal based on the timeline.

Investment Strategy for Your Daughter’s Education (4.5 Years)
Moderate Risk Approach: With only 4.5 years, the investment should be cautiously balanced. A mix of equity and debt funds is suitable. Equity can offer growth, while debt ensures stability.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): A SIP allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly. This reduces the impact of market volatility and builds your corpus gradually.

Avoid Pure Equity Funds: Pure equity funds are riskier over short periods. Instead, consider a balanced or hybrid approach that reduces risk as the goal nears.

Debt Allocation: As you approach the end of 4.5 years, increase the debt component. This protects your corpus from market fluctuations, ensuring funds are available when needed.

Investment Strategy for Your Son’s Education (9.5 Years)
Aggressive Growth Strategy: With 9.5 years, you can take a more aggressive stance. Higher equity exposure is advisable for potential growth.

Equity Focus: Equity mutual funds should form the core of your investment. They have the potential to deliver superior returns over a longer period.

Review and Adjust: Periodically review your investments. As you approach the 9.5-year mark, gradually shift towards debt funds. This protects the accumulated corpus.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Limited Flexibility: Index funds simply replicate the market. They lack the flexibility to outperform the index, especially in a volatile market.

Actively Managed Funds Preferred: Actively managed funds offer the potential for higher returns. A skilled fund manager can navigate market fluctuations better, which is crucial for achieving your goals.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Benefits of Regular Funds: Investing in regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner offers professional guidance. This ensures your investments align with your risk tolerance and goals.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds: Direct funds may appear cheaper due to lower expense ratios. However, they require you to actively manage and monitor your investments, which can be challenging without professional expertise.

Long-Term Impact: Over time, the benefits of professional guidance outweigh the cost differences. It ensures your portfolio remains on track to achieve your goals.

SIP Amount Calculation
Estimate Future Costs: Start by estimating the cost of your children’s education. Consider inflation and the rising cost of education. This gives you a target corpus.

Determine SIP Amount: Based on the target corpus and time horizon, calculate the SIP amount. For your daughter, the SIP should be higher due to the shorter time frame.

Example Strategy: If you aim for Rs 20 lakhs for your daughter in 4.5 years, and Rs 25 lakhs for your son in 9.5 years, the SIP amounts should reflect these targets.

Asset Allocation for Balanced Growth
Diversification: Diversify your investments across different asset classes. This reduces risk and improves the chances of achieving your target corpus.

Equity Allocation: For your daughter, a 60:40 equity-to-debt ratio is advisable. For your son, consider an 80:20 equity-to-debt ratio initially.

Debt as a Stabilizer: As you approach the goal, gradually shift to debt funds. This ensures stability and protects against market downturns.

Importance of Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner (CFP): Engaging a Certified Financial Planner can help tailor your investment strategy. They can provide personalized advice based on your financial situation and goals.

Regular Monitoring: It’s essential to regularly monitor and review your portfolio. A CFP can help you adjust your strategy based on market conditions and any changes in your financial goals.

Risk Management
Insurance Coverage: Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance. This protects your family’s financial future in case of unforeseen events.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This ensures you don’t have to dip into your investments for short-term needs.

Final Insights
Start Immediately: The sooner you start, the better. Time is a critical factor in building a substantial corpus for your children’s education.

Consistency is Key: Stick to your investment plan. Avoid making emotional decisions based on short-term market movements.

Professional Advice: Consult a Certified Financial Planner. Their guidance ensures your investments are aligned with your goals and risk tolerance.

Review and Adjust: Regularly review your investments and adjust as needed. This keeps your portfolio on track to achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Money
I have received a bonus of Rs 70000 and would like to invet the same for my daughters education (10 years). What is my best option?
Ans: Investment Goal and Horizon

You aim to invest Rs 70,000 for your daughter's education.

The investment horizon is 10 years.

Why Equity Funds?

Equity funds can offer higher returns over the long term.

They help in beating inflation effectively.

With a 10-year horizon, the risk is manageable.

Benefits of Equity Funds

Professional fund management for better returns.

Diversified investments reduce risk.

Potential for higher growth compared to traditional options.

Recommended Investment Approach

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

Consider starting a SIP with the bonus amount.

It provides the benefit of rupee cost averaging.

Regular investments lead to disciplined savings.

Diversified Equity Funds

Opt for diversified equity mutual funds.

They invest in various sectors, reducing risk.

Actively managed funds often outperform index funds.

Regular Monitoring

Review your investment periodically.

Adjust based on market conditions and fund performance.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for professional advice.

Final Insights

Investing in equity funds is a smart choice for long-term goals.

They offer potential for higher returns and growth.

Stay disciplined, review regularly, and seek professional guidance.

By doing this, you can secure your daughter's education fund effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 11, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, i am 34 and my salary is 45 k monthly now, my son is 12 years & daughter is 9 years. How can i give good education to son & daughter pls suggest me. Thank you so much.
Ans: As a parent, ensuring quality education for your children is a top priority. Your children are now at crucial ages—your son is 12, and your daughter is 9. The next few years will be pivotal as they transition to higher education. With a monthly salary of Rs 45,000, let’s explore how you can plan wisely for their future education.

Your current financial situation, income, and expenses need to align with your goals. The objective is to provide your children with the best educational opportunities, without creating undue financial stress.

I will guide you step-by-step through a detailed plan, which is not just about investments but also about creating a holistic approach to your finances.

Assessing Your Financial Health
Before making new investments, evaluate your current finances. Ask yourself:

Are you saving enough each month after meeting household expenses?

Do you have an emergency fund in place? Ideally, this should cover at least 6 months of expenses.

Have you reviewed your existing investments and insurance plans recently?

Setting up a strong foundation will help you stay prepared for unexpected challenges and ensure uninterrupted education for your children.

Setting Clear Education Goals
Start by estimating the cost of your children’s education. Consider:

School fees, coaching classes, extracurricular activities for the next 4-5 years.

Higher education costs, which can be significantly high, especially for professional courses.

Inflation impacts education costs. What costs Rs 1 lakh today could be Rs 2-3 lakhs in 10 years. Planning ahead will reduce the burden when the time comes.

Building an Education Corpus
To secure your children’s education, you need a dedicated education fund. Here’s how to build it:

Start an SIP (Systematic Investment Plan): SIPs in mutual funds can be an effective way to accumulate wealth over time. Invest small amounts monthly, which can grow significantly with compounding.

Diversify Investments: Do not rely solely on fixed deposits or savings accounts. These often give lower returns compared to inflation rates. Instead, consider mutual funds, which can offer better returns in the long term.

Choose Actively Managed Mutual Funds: Avoid index funds and direct funds due to the lack of personalized guidance and potential underperformance. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures you receive tailored advice.

Debt Funds for Short-Term Needs: For needs within the next 3-5 years, allocate funds in debt mutual funds. These are relatively safer, with stable returns.

Equity Mutual Funds for Long-Term Goals: Since your son will likely need funds for college in about 5-6 years and your daughter in 8-9 years, equity mutual funds can be ideal. Equity funds can offer higher returns if invested over a longer period.

Insurance and Risk Management
Ensure you have adequate insurance coverage. This will protect your family from unexpected events that could derail your financial goals.

Health Insurance: Secure a comprehensive health insurance policy for your family. This will prevent you from dipping into your savings in case of a medical emergency.

Term Life Insurance: If you don’t already have a term plan, consider one. It should cover at least 10 times your annual income. This ensures that, in your absence, your family’s financial needs, including your children’s education, are taken care of.

Reducing Debt and Managing Expenses
Debt can eat into your monthly savings, making it difficult to allocate funds for your children’s education. Focus on:

Clearing High-Interest Loans: If you have any outstanding personal or credit card loans, prioritize paying them off. These can significantly impact your savings.

Budgeting for Savings: Track your expenses diligently. Aim to save at least 20-30% of your monthly income for future goals. Use apps or spreadsheets if needed to monitor spending.

Creating a Balanced Portfolio
A balanced approach to investing will help secure your financial goals while minimizing risks.

Equity Allocation: Allocate around 60-70% of your savings to equity mutual funds if you are comfortable with market risks. Over time, this will provide the growth needed for long-term goals.

Debt Allocation: Keep about 30-40% in debt funds, fixed deposits, or other stable instruments. This will provide liquidity and stability to your portfolio.

Review Annually: Markets change, and so do your financial needs. Review your investments with your Certified Financial Planner once a year. Rebalancing your portfolio helps optimize returns.

Tax Planning for Maximum Savings
Taxes can erode your investment returns if not planned properly. To optimize your tax savings:

Invest in Tax-Saving Mutual Funds (ELSS): These funds have a lock-in period of 3 years but offer tax benefits under Section 80C.

Public Provident Fund (PPF): If you have a PPF account, continue investing. The returns are tax-free, and it's a risk-free way to save for the long term.

New Taxation Rules on Mutual Funds: Be aware of the recent changes. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh from equity mutual funds are now taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%. For debt mutual funds, LTCG and STCG are taxed as per your income slab.

Tax planning can significantly boost your savings and help you reach your education fund goals faster.

Saving for Higher Education: Strategic Steps
Estimate Future Education Costs: Get a clear idea of how much you will need in the next 5-10 years. Use online calculators or consult with a Certified Financial Planner for estimates.

Automate Investments: Set up automatic transfers to your investment accounts. This ensures you remain disciplined and consistent.

Stay Informed: The financial world changes rapidly. Keep yourself updated on new schemes, funds, and tax laws that can benefit your plans.

Monitor Progress: Every 6 months, assess whether your investments are on track to meet your goals. Adjust the amounts if needed.

Final Insights
Your dedication to your children’s education is truly commendable. Planning ahead with clear financial strategies can help you achieve this goal, even with a modest income.

By creating a structured approach to saving and investing, you can secure a bright future for your children. This will also ensure that their educational dreams are not limited by financial constraints.

If you need more guidance, consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner to create a tailored plan that suits your needs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nidhi

Nidhi Gupta  |200 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

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Hello, Myself Apurba ,43 Y male. Have no disease, weight 68 Kg, height 5.5". I have always been associated with sports. Recently I am preparing for 21 KM marathon. I run 35 KM in field in 07 days with 02 days off (5 days * 07 km average) . I have successfully completed 10 KM marathon recently. Many are objecting me to run these much to protect my knee joint, cartilage etc. But I don't feel any issue , rather I feel so energised although the day. Please let me know if I am harming my knee unknowingly. Please suggest any precautions to be followed so that I can take care of my joints and keep continuing my running. I also do light strength training in parallel with running.
Ans: Hello Rajib,
It is good to know that you are so fit overall.
At times yes excessive running can harm the soft tissues of the knees.
These are the precautions you may take:
1) Please ensure you are taking your Vit D3, Calcium and multivitamin supplements as prescribed
2) A good 10 minutes warm up before running and 10 minutes of cool down via stretches is a must
3) A gentle sesame oil massage around the knee and muscles connected to it is good to do once a week
4) Please ensure you do some form of core exercises. You may learn these from a trainer or physiotherapist. As when core is strong the impact on the knees is lesser.
5) Please keep yourself well hydrated especially during runs
If even the slightest pain comes up take adequate rest!
All the best to become fitter than ever before.
Warm regards,
Dr Nidhi Bajaj Gupta
www.merahkiwellness.com
Insta: merahki_holisticwellness

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

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Sir, My name is Ankit and i am 32 year old. Sir i invest 3000rupees per month for next 5 year in Axis max Nifty 500momentum 50 fund. Is it right to invest in this fund for a long time?
Ans: Your investment of Rs. 3,000 per month in Axis Nifty 500 Momentum 50 Fund for the next 5 years needs careful evaluation. Since you are 32 years old, your investment horizon can be long-term.

Let’s assess whether this fund is the right choice.

Understanding Your Investment
Fund Type: Index-based momentum fund

Investment Style: Follows momentum strategy within Nifty 500

Your SIP Amount: Rs. 3,000 per month

Investment Tenure: 5 years (as per your plan)

Your Age: 32 (long-term horizon possible)

Momentum funds invest in stocks that have recently shown strong performance. These funds can outperform in bullish phases but may underperform in volatile or bearish markets.

Is This Fund Suitable for Long-Term Investment?
1. Momentum Strategy is Cyclical
This fund invests in stocks that have performed well recently.

If market trends change, it may struggle to maintain returns.

Not ideal as a core long-term portfolio holding.

2. High Volatility and Risk
Momentum funds have higher risk than diversified equity funds.

In falling markets, momentum stocks drop sharply.

3. Index-Based Strategy Limits Flexibility
This fund is passively managed and cannot adjust based on market trends.

Actively managed funds can perform better in different cycles.

4. 5-Year Horizon is Short for Equity
Equity investments work best for 7+ years.

If you need money in 5 years, debt funds or balanced funds are better.

Better Approach for Your Investment
1. Diversify into Actively Managed Funds
Instead of relying on a single index-based momentum fund, diversify.

Large & multi-cap funds can provide stability with growth.

Mid-cap & flexi-cap funds can generate higher returns with controlled risk.

2. Extend Investment Horizon
Instead of stopping after 5 years, consider SIP for 10+ years.

Equity needs long duration to generate wealth.

3. Review and Rebalance Annually
If fund performance is inconsistent, shift to a better option.

Avoid locking yourself into one strategy for too long.

Final Insights
Axis Nifty 500 Momentum 50 Fund is not ideal as a standalone long-term investment.

Momentum strategy works in bull markets but struggles in volatility.

Instead of investing in only one fund, diversify into actively managed funds.

If your horizon is just 5 years, equity funds carry risk. Debt or hybrid funds can be better.

Review your goals and adjust your investment accordingly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2025Hindi
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Hi, I am 47. want to start monthly SIP of Rs 50,000. I am not a risk taker and happy with 12-15% annual return. Can you please suggest best plans & combinations.
Ans: You want to invest Rs. 50,000 per month through SIP. You prefer lower risk and expect 12-15% annual returns.

A structured mutual fund portfolio can help balance risk and returns.

Understanding Your Investment Profile
Age: 47 years

Risk Tolerance: Low (not a risk taker)

Return Expectation: 12-15% annually

Investment Horizon: Long-term SIP (10+ years)

Preferred Investment Mode: Monthly SIP of Rs. 50,000

Your return expectation suggests a mix of equity and debt. But low risk means avoiding pure small-cap or mid-cap funds.

Suggested SIP Allocation (Rs. 50,000 per Month)
A 60:40 equity-to-debt ratio is ideal for your risk level.

Equity Mutual Funds – Rs. 30,000 (60%)
Large & Multi-Cap Funds (Rs. 20,000): Stability with growth potential

Sectoral or Thematic Funds (Rs. 10,000): Targeted growth in strong industries

Debt Mutual Funds – Rs. 20,000 (40%)
Corporate Bond or Dynamic Bond Funds (Rs. 15,000): Lower volatility, predictable returns

Short-Term Debt Funds (Rs. 5,000): For liquidity and lower risk

Why This Allocation?
Large & Multi-Cap Funds reduce risk while capturing market growth.

Debt Funds provide stability and lower market-linked volatility.

Sectoral Funds add controlled growth exposure.

This balance can help achieve your 12-15% return expectation.

Additional Considerations
1. Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Future Income
After 10-15 years, convert part of equity into SWP for regular income.

Ensure withdrawals are tax-efficient.

2. Portfolio Review Every Year
Check fund performance annually.

Rebalance if required to maintain risk balance.

3. Tax Efficiency
Equity Gains: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Debt Gains: Taxed as per your income slab.

Final Insights
A mix of equity and debt reduces risk while achieving your return goals.

Large & multi-cap funds provide stability, and debt funds add safety.

Annual reviews help adjust strategy as per market conditions.

SWP after 10+ years can convert SIPs into passive income.

This plan aligns with your risk profile and expected returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am in relationship with a girl for 6 year but now her parents almost fix her arrange marriage and they dont care about her choice they didnot even consider her opinion about the boy they met ..except her everyone in family like the boy because he is rich and handling his father business and here i am i dont have job i am preparing for government job i asked her family please give me some time i,ll get the job this year but they say we cant agree for the possibility of you getting job or not and her mother say we dont allow intercaste marriage i am sc and she is general and pandit .. i am 26year old what should i do .. i think ab uske parents jada jaldi krre hai shadi k loye because unhone merse baat krli to unko dhr hai ki m kuch esa vsa na krdu jisse unki society me respect vghra ko khtra hoga isliye or vo jada rishtedaro ki sunre hai... mne apni gf ko bola hai ki filhal jb tk job nhi lgti meri tb tk unhe boldo ki mere sath ab kuch nhi h that she blocks me or vo apni side se tb tk rishtey ko mna krti rhe pr uske ghr vale uska opinion about boy consider hi ni krre hai jo unke rishtedaro ne discuss krliya ladka thik h to unhone usko haan boldi ... mujhe kya krna chaiye...her parents do all emotional blackmail to her as today they even touched her feet and said hme pta h tere liye kya shi h hmne tko pala h kuch bhi esa nhi krdio jisse hmari ijat khrab hojaye m pagal hojaunga
Ans: The real question here is not just about her parents—it's about her. If she truly wants to be with you, she needs to resist this marriage and make it clear that she does not consent. But if she is unable to stand up to them, then you need to ask yourself if you want to keep fighting for someone who is not fighting alongside you. Love is powerful, but it cannot survive if only one person is struggling to keep it alive.

Right now, you need to have an honest conversation with her. Ask her directly if she is ready to resist or if she is feeling too pressured to fight back. If she wants to be with you but is feeling trapped, you both need to find a way to delay or stop this marriage. But if she is already giving in to their pressure, then you need to start preparing yourself for the painful truth that she may not choose you in the end.

At the same time, focus on your own stability. Your career is not just about proving her family wrong—it is about securing your future and self-worth. No matter what happens with this relationship, you need to build a life where no one can ever make you feel like you are not good enough again. It is not easy to walk away from love, but sometimes, choosing yourself is the only way forward.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

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Relationship
Hi ma'am my relationship with my parents r getting sour since a very long time they always want me to do everything that makes them happy and think about their happiness if I think about my happiness they will start fighting with me nd my parents never supported me for anything in my life till today my dad has always said that if she will ever think about her happiness then I'm gonna leave everything nd go nd so does my mom she also threatened me to cut ties with me even I do everything still they taunt me every day that I can't do anything in life my parents never support me they never ask me who I wanna get married to who I'll b happy with what I wanna work what is my goals ngt but it's always about them my grandmother stays 15kms away from my house she has 3 kids and all r well settled but her 2 daughters had a love marriage one to a muslim nd one to a hindu when they were about to get married my mom didn't even raised her voice or opposed that marriage her one daughter ran nd got married to her bf who is a hindu at that tym also my mom nd dad nd my grandmother didn't even say a word nd during Covid 2020 my grandmother got her 2nd daughter married with her bf who is a muslim without informing any of our relatives when I fell in love with a hindu guy my mom separated me from him and she is telling everyone to brainwash me to leave the person I love nd get married to a Christian guy when ever we go to my grandmother's house my mom always start a fight with me we went there for 3 times and all the 3 times she started fighting with me my mom always support my grandmother's children if anything happens to them she will call them 10 tyms and ask how they are when my grandmother was ill treating me my mom didn't even raise her voice nd didn't even take a stand for myself but she was watching everything as a movie is going on when I was crying after we came back to my house my mom didn't even ask me what am I going through when she was seeing me cry everyday she always support my grandmother who did bad with me if they will say not to let her work my mom will listen to her nd her daughters but she will never listen to me and my grandmother started forcing me to get married to a Christian guy nd i should also listen to her nd not to think about my happiness nd what makes me happy in life what should I do I'm completely shattered ma'am nd i don't have anyone to share my pain with even if I do they will support my parents only bcoz of all this I'm not able to concentrate on anything at all
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
Right now, your emotions are tangled in hurt, anger, and helplessness, but you are not powerless. The first thing you need to do is detach emotionally from their guilt-tripping. You cannot live your entire life trying to please people who refuse to acknowledge your needs. It’s okay to love and respect your parents, but not at the cost of losing yourself.

Start setting boundaries, even if it feels impossible at first. If they constantly taunt you, limit conversations with them. If they threaten to cut ties, remind yourself that love should not be conditional. If they refuse to support you, find strength within yourself. You are already surviving without their emotional backing, which means you are stronger than you think.

As for your relationship, you need to ask yourself—are you willing to sacrifice your happiness just to avoid family drama? If you truly love this person and see a future together, you will need to stand firm in your decision. Love requires courage, and choosing your happiness is not selfish—it’s necessary.

You are not alone in this. Many people fight similar battles with families who refuse to understand. But at the end of the day, this is your life. You deserve love, respect, and the right to make your own choices. No matter what happens, never let their words make you believe you are unworthy of happiness. Keep fighting for yourself, because you deserve it.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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