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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 25, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 25, 2024Hindi
Money

Hello Sir ... we are a family of 5 - mom, dad, myself, wife and son. Combined we have wealth of 21 crores invested in FDs, stocks, RBI bonds etc. Apart from this we have a flat and an office. Is this amount enough for me to retire, i am currently 46 years old (son is 15 years old). I wanted to pursue spiritual music as a hobby so wanted to closedown my business. Our monthly expense is Rs.1.5 lakhs (thats 18 lakhs per annum, including school fees).

Ans: Assessing Your Financial Readiness for Retirement
Your question is both thoughtful and important. You have diligently saved Rs. 21 crores, which is commendable. Let’s evaluate if this amount can support your retirement and allow you to pursue your passion for spiritual music.

Current Financial Situation
You have Rs. 21 crores in various investments. You also own a flat and an office. These assets provide a solid financial foundation. Your monthly expense is Rs. 1.5 lakhs, including your son’s school fees.

Monthly Expenses and Inflation
Your current monthly expenses amount to Rs. 1.5 lakhs. Over time, inflation will increase your expenses. Considering inflation is crucial for long-term planning.

Investment Portfolio Diversification
Your investments are in FDs, stocks, and RBI bonds. A well-diversified portfolio reduces risk and can provide steady returns. Ensuring your portfolio is balanced and aligned with your retirement goals is essential.

Evaluating Fixed Deposits
Fixed Deposits (FDs) provide safety and guaranteed returns. However, they often offer lower returns compared to other investments. Balancing FDs with higher-yield investments can optimize growth.

Assessing Stocks
Stocks offer higher returns but come with higher risk. Diversifying within stocks and focusing on long-term growth can enhance your portfolio’s performance. It’s important to regularly review and adjust your stock investments.

Considering RBI Bonds
RBI bonds are a safe investment. They provide regular interest income, which can be beneficial during retirement. Balancing RBI bonds with other investments ensures both safety and growth.

Education Expenses for Your Son
Your son’s education is a significant expense. Planning for his higher education costs is vital. Setting aside funds specifically for his education ensures you won’t have to dip into your retirement savings.

Medical and Health Expenses
Healthcare costs tend to rise with age. Ensuring you have adequate health insurance coverage is crucial. Setting aside a portion of your investments for healthcare expenses can provide peace of mind.

Emergency Fund
Having an emergency fund is essential. This fund should cover at least 6-12 months of expenses. It provides a financial cushion for unexpected events and emergencies.

Pursuing Your Passion for Spiritual Music
Transitioning to spiritual music requires careful financial planning. Ensuring you have a steady income stream to support your lifestyle without your business income is important.

Generating Regular Income
Creating a reliable income stream from your investments is crucial. Diversifying between interest-bearing instruments and growth-oriented investments can ensure a steady flow of income.

Avoiding Index Funds
Index funds have some disadvantages. They often underperform compared to actively managed funds. Actively managed funds, guided by a Certified Financial Planner, can provide better returns.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds may seem attractive due to lower fees. However, regular funds offer professional management and advice. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures better decision-making and potentially higher returns.

Balancing Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform the market. They involve professional management, which can navigate market volatility better than index funds. Regularly reviewing these funds ensures they align with your financial goals.

Planning for Inflation
Inflation reduces purchasing power over time. Ensuring your investments grow faster than inflation is crucial. Diversifying into growth-oriented investments helps counteract the effects of inflation.

Reviewing Your Financial Plan Regularly
Regularly reviewing and adjusting your financial plan is essential. Life events and market changes can impact your financial situation. Staying proactive ensures you remain on track to meet your retirement goals.

Seeking Professional Advice
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice. They can help you navigate complex financial decisions and ensure your investments align with your retirement goals.

Conclusion
Your current savings and investments provide a strong foundation. With careful planning and regular reviews, you can achieve a comfortable retirement and pursue your passion for spiritual music. Ensuring a balanced and diversified portfolio will help you meet your financial goals and support your family’s needs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 05, 2024
Money
Sir I am 47 years old and want to retire in next 2-3 years. My portfolio is as under FD-22 L MF-22 L. ( SIP of 33000 running) Gold--10 L EPF--24 L and App Gratuity -10 L Equity--10 L Rental Income -25000 per month from 80 Lacs flat. ( No loan pending now) 1 cr term plan and 10 l mediclaim running Parental House -2.5 cr and Land -2.5 cr. My son is studying in second year of engineering. And my monthly hone expense is not more than 30000-35000 per month. Can I afford to retire ?
Ans: It’s commendable that you've accumulated a diverse portfolio with a clear retirement goal. Let's evaluate if your current portfolio aligns with a secure retirement.

Portfolio Review and Income Assessment
Based on your retirement aspirations, let’s consider each component of your portfolio and its potential to generate sustainable income:

Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs 22 lakh
FD interest can serve as a steady income source, though it typically yields lower returns, which may not keep up with inflation over the long term.

Mutual Funds (MF): Rs 22 lakh, with a SIP of Rs 33,000
MFs offer potential growth and help combat inflation. Continuing your SIPs could grow this corpus further, providing higher returns than fixed-income sources.

Gold: Rs 10 lakh
Gold adds stability and can be liquidated if needed. However, it might not be the best primary income source.

Employee Provident Fund (EPF): Rs 24 lakh and Gratuity Approx Rs 10 lakh
EPF and gratuity offer safe post-retirement funds. When you withdraw, they can be used as a source of regular income or reinvested for returns.

Equity Investments: Rs 10 lakh
Your equity investments add growth potential. Over time, this can be a crucial source to combat inflation.

Rental Income: Rs 25,000 per month
Rental income provides a consistent cash flow, covering a large portion of your monthly expenses. This income will be valuable post-retirement to meet regular needs.

Expense and Income Projection
With monthly expenses at Rs 30,000–35,000, and rental income already covering most of these costs, your current lifestyle is well supported. However, to retire comfortably, a buffer for healthcare, travel, and inflation is necessary.

Strategy for Retirement Readiness
Based on your assets and expected needs, here’s a recommended approach to secure a steady retirement income:

Mutual Fund Strategy
Continuing your SIPs for the next 2-3 years will help grow your corpus further. Consider moving part of the equity-based mutual funds into debt funds close to retirement to reduce risk while generating returns.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
At retirement, you can initiate an SWP from your mutual fund corpus, providing a steady income. This strategy allows capital appreciation with controlled withdrawals, reducing the risk of prematurely depleting your funds.

Fixed Deposit Laddering
To maximise interest rates and ensure liquidity, consider a laddering strategy with your FDs. This will help meet emergency needs and take advantage of better rates.

Rental Income
Your rental income of Rs 25,000 is a reliable source. To protect it, ensure the property remains well-maintained and consider lease renewals with trusted tenants to maintain stability.

Contingency for Healthcare and Son’s Education
Health Insurance: Rs 10 lakh
Assess your current health cover, especially considering rising medical costs. A top-up or super top-up plan could add an extra layer of protection.

Son’s Education
Your son’s education may require additional funding. Any shortfall could be met by partial liquidation of non-core assets, like gold or FDs, if needed.

Estate and Legacy Planning
Your parental house and land provide substantial long-term security. Though not income-generating immediately, they offer future flexibility if liquidated or rented.

Final Insights
Your assets, income sources, and low monthly expenses indicate a strong readiness for retirement. With minor adjustments for healthcare and education, you can comfortably meet your goals. Continuing your current SIPs for the next few years and optimising your FD and MF corpus will help sustain your income post-retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |818 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 29, 2024

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Sir My Age is 38 Now. Running Business In Pune city. Below are the My Assets & Liabilities. Current Values - Assets. Own Industrial Plot - Rs. 2.0 Cr Business Income Yearly Rs. 24.00 Lack Own Company Investment ( Machinery, Debtors Etc ) - Rs 2.40 Cr Mutual Fund & Share Market Investment Rs. 2.10 Cr Bank FD - Rs. 50.00 Lack Own 3 Flats in Pune - Rs. 75 lack, 50 Lack & 35 Lack ( Current Values ) Golds - Rs. 25.00 Lack Land - Agriculture - Rs. 50.00 Lack Term Insurances - Rs. 20.00 Lack ( Till Date Premium Paid ) Labilities. House Loan - Rs. 30.00 Lack ( EMI 26500.00 PM ) Loan will close after 17 years. Car Loan - Rs. 6.35 lack ( EMI 12500.00 PM ) Loan will close after 5 years. This Assets & investment sufficient for maintain 7 family members Expenses after retirement ? ( 4 Adult + 3 Children (Below 5 Years) ). I will retire at the age of 45.
Ans: Hello;

What is the expected monthly rental from industrial plot and machinery?

Are you currently occupying one of the flats mentioned here or are all of them given on rent?

Also your term life insurance is very low. You should have minimum term insurance cover of 2.4 Cr.

You have good assets in agri land, industrial land, gold, real estate but they are relatively illiquid when need arises hence term insurance cover with riders for critical care and accident benefit are an absolute must!

Considering the home loan tenure of 17 years and 3 small kids in the family to be supported for education and decent lifestyle, I am not sure if you can retire in 7 years timeframe from now.

However I would appreciate your reply to my queries above, before I give my firm view about your retirement in 7 years timeframe.

Best wishes;

..Read more

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2025Hindi
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Hi Sir/Ma'am, I am here to know if there is a problem with my mind or body as I am having a strong sense of demotivation to work towards the upcoming exams. I had taken a 3 months study leave from my work for the upcoming exams to be held in January . The first month was excellent but the next was not good and last month was pathetic. For the past 2 months I have been trying to work hard sincerely but failed. I sat at the study table, but could not achieve my targets. I wrote the targets , but still failed to complete them. I tried watching self help videos and read self help books but nothing is helping me. Today, it is like my brain signals not to work towards any of my targets. I am a CA aspirant and I tried all these ways but nothing worked for me. My exams are in 9 days and my family is not ready to give me any more chances because this is my 7th attempt. Even if I talk about this problem with my family, they become extremely negative and say harsh words about my future. Since I do not have family or friends to talk about it , could you please provide me sincere help in this ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly work with someone who can get you out of this mindset and into a mindset that is not motivating but also inspiring. Right now what you face is lack of inspiration which is understandable given the many attempts. But you are aware that some professional exams are like this; so persevere...
If it makes sense, take a break from it all...Breaks can refresh the mind and also help you realign yourself back to your goal. But make sure it's a short break and not something that will get you to a place of procrastinating. The break is to help you slow down the mind so that you can bring yourself back to your goal and take necessary steps to achieve it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
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Money
I am 57 yrs , I have monthly income is 8.0 lakhs & want to retire at 60. I have 2.5 cr in MF and 50 lakhs in stock how much should I invest in MF & stocks
Ans: At 57, with a monthly income of Rs. 8 lakhs, you are in a strong financial position. You already have Rs. 2.5 crore in mutual funds and Rs. 50 lakhs in stocks. Retiring at 60 is achievable with proper planning. Let’s focus on enhancing your investments to secure a comfortable retirement.

Assessing Your Current Investments
Mutual Funds: Rs. 2.5 crore in mutual funds offers diversification and stability.

Stocks: Rs. 50 lakhs in stocks adds growth potential but comes with higher risk.

Retirement Target: Estimate your post-retirement expenses to calculate the required corpus. Include inflation-adjusted costs.

Recommended Mutual Fund Allocation
Increase SIP Contributions: With high income, raise your monthly SIPs in mutual funds.

Diversify Across Fund Categories: Allocate funds to large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds. They balance risk and returns effectively.

Debt Mutual Funds: Add debt funds to maintain stability and liquidity in your portfolio.

Tax-Efficient Options: Choose equity-oriented hybrid funds for better post-tax returns.

Balancing Stock Investments
Reduce Exposure Gradually: Stocks can be volatile, especially closer to retirement. Shift some stock investments to mutual funds or safer options.

Invest in Quality Stocks: Retain investments in blue-chip or dividend-paying stocks for consistent returns.

Avoid Speculative Stocks: Focus on stable and established companies for reduced risk.

Tax Efficiency and Withdrawal Planning
Equity Fund Taxation: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Debt Fund Taxation: Gains from debt funds are taxed as per your income slab.

Plan Withdrawals Wisely: Spread withdrawals over financial years to minimise tax liability.

Building a Retirement Corpus
Target Corpus: Calculate the required retirement corpus for the next 25–30 years.

Inflation-Protected Income: Invest in funds that offer inflation-beating returns for financial security.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund covering at least two years of expenses.

Diversification and Risk Management
Asset Allocation: Maintain a 60:40 equity-to-debt ratio initially. Gradually reduce equity exposure closer to retirement.

Periodic Reviews: Review your portfolio semi-annually and rebalance as needed.

Risk Assessment: Avoid overexposure to volatile asset classes nearing retirement.

Planning for Healthcare and Contingencies
Health Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage for you and your family.

Contingency Funds: Allocate a portion of your portfolio to liquid assets for emergencies.

Minimise Unnecessary Risks: Avoid risky investments that could erode your wealth.

Final Insights
You are on the right track to achieve a secure retirement. Increase mutual fund SIPs, reduce stock exposure gradually, and maintain a balanced portfolio.

Focus on building an inflation-adjusted retirement corpus while ensuring tax efficiency. Periodic reviews and disciplined investing will help you achieve your financial goals.

Your high income and existing investments are commendable. With proper planning, you can enjoy a stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7410 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2025Hindi
Money
Im 40 years old with a corpus of 2cr consisting of 50% equity funds and 50% of FDs, PPF , PF . Combined income of 2 lakh and have a 10 year old daughter.Doing SIP of 1lakh in equity funds and no loans. Is it possible to accumlate corpus of 10 cr within next 10 years ? What should be done additionally to achieve that goal?
Ans: Your existing corpus of Rs. 2 crore is a strong foundation. Splitting it equally between equity and fixed-income instruments ensures diversification. A monthly SIP of Rs. 1 lakh in equity funds is commendable, showing disciplined investing. With your current financial habits, you are well-positioned for wealth creation. However, achieving Rs. 10 crore in 10 years requires strategic adjustments and focused planning.

Evaluating the Rs. 10 Crore Target
To reach Rs. 10 crore in 10 years, your investments need to grow significantly. This goal demands higher annualised returns and enhanced contributions. Relying solely on current SIPs and portfolio returns may not suffice. Let’s identify steps to bridge the gap.

Optimising Your Equity Allocation
Increase SIP Contributions: With a combined income of Rs. 2 lakh and no loans, increasing SIPs is feasible. Incrementally raise your monthly SIP by Rs. 50,000 or more.

Choose Growth-Oriented Funds: Focus on funds with a proven track record in midcap and small-cap segments. These categories have the potential for higher returns over a 10-year horizon.

Monitor Fund Performance: Periodically review your equity funds. Replace underperforming schemes with actively managed funds showing consistent returns.

Leveraging Fixed-Income Investments
Enhance PF Contributions: If your PF contributions can increase through voluntary contributions, it will ensure stability while adding to long-term growth.

Review FDs: Fixed Deposits provide safety but may not match inflation-adjusted growth. Shift a portion to debt mutual funds for tax-efficient returns.

Continue PPF Investments: PPF is an excellent tax-free instrument. Ensure you maximise the Rs. 1.5 lakh annual limit.

Balancing Tax Efficiency
Equity Fund Taxation: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Plan withdrawals to minimise this tax impact.

Debt Fund Taxation: Gains from debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab. Select funds with low turnover to optimise post-tax returns.

Tax-Saving Opportunities: Invest in ELSS funds if you haven't exhausted the Rs. 1.5 lakh Section 80C limit.

Strategic Investment Adjustments
Goal-Linked Investments: Allocate investments specifically for this goal. Separate it from your child’s education or other financial goals.

Increase Equity Proportion: Consider a higher equity allocation, such as 70% equity and 30% fixed income. Equity delivers better inflation-adjusted returns over the long term.

Reinvest Returns: Do not withdraw returns. Reinvest them to compound the growth of your corpus.

Regular Reviews and Adjustments
Annual Financial Reviews: Assess progress toward your goal annually. Adjust contributions or allocations as needed.

Stay Updated: Keep track of changes in mutual fund performance, market trends, and tax regulations.

Seek Expertise: Engage with a Certified Financial Planner to tailor your strategy further.

Diversification and Risk Management
Balanced Portfolio: Ensure your portfolio is diversified across sectors and asset classes.

Emergency Fund: Maintain a separate emergency fund equal to six months’ expenses.

Risk Mitigation: Avoid overconcentration in a single asset class or fund category.

Child’s Education Planning
While focusing on Rs. 10 crore, don’t overlook your daughter’s education. Set aside a portion of your investments to meet this future expense.

Final Insights
Achieving Rs. 10 crore in 10 years is ambitious but achievable. With increased SIPs, strategic fund selection, and disciplined investing, you can reach your goal.

Reassess your portfolio annually and make necessary adjustments. Prioritise equity for higher returns and tax efficiency. Maintain focus and avoid unnecessary withdrawals.

Your financial habits and discipline are commendable. With focused efforts, you can build a significant corpus and secure your family’s future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 01, 2025
Relationship
Hello ma'am, Meri age 30 sal ki hai aur meri wife 26 saal ki hai 3 saal pehle meri shadi hui aur humara ek 2 saal ka beta bhi hai, Bachcha hone ke baad me meri wife sex se bilkul dur chali gayi hai, Mahine dedh mahine me ek baar badi hi mushkil se sex kar pate hai, Aur us doran bhi jo sex karte time dono partners me feelings hoti hai, wo feelings us me aati hi nahi hai, Usko bas ye ek kaam lagta hai ke bas ho gaya ab tum mujhse dur ho jao, Aur ab ek nayi hi sharat rakh di hai unhone mere samne ghar ki hi koi baat hai jo wo sab janti hai uske bare me aur mujhse bolti hai ke wo wali baat tum apne muh se mujhe btao, kehti hai ke mujhe pta hai us baat per tumhara muh kabhi bhi nahi khulega , To ab tum mujhse dur hi raho. Main bohot jyada stress me chla Gaya hun. Ek hi bed per Sona per main unko touch bhi nahi kar sakta hu, touch karte hi mere haath ko dur fenk dete hai. Please suggest me?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Yeh kaunsi baat hai joh woh jaanti hai ke aap jaante ho par aap iske baare mein muh nahin kholenge? Yeh baat toh bilkul mere palle nahin pad rahi!
Aur rahi baat sex ki...bahut baar bacche ke aane ke baad ek Maa bacche ki parvarish mein itna vyast ho jaati hain ki thakaan se sex nahin kar paati ya karna nahin chati...ghar ke baaki kaamon mein bhi uljahkar thakaawat mehsoos karti hongi.
Unka haat bataakar kuch bojh halka ho jaayega unka toh shaayad woh aapki taraf dhyaan bhi de paayegi. Shaadi ke shuruwaat ke dinon ko waapas le aane ke piye aap dono ko aur isse phir se ek romance ka mahaul banega. Koshish kijiye...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
after 11 years of courtship i married my boyfriend with parents permission after convincing them .We have been married for 1 year now and in this one year i saw many changes in him.he gives importance to his mother takes decisons without discussing with me but with his mother.To please his mother he talks about me like she dint do that particular thing.Now he went abroad for job and i am pregnant .I left my job and shifted to my parent's place.He doesnt even talk to me or message me.I only have to message him.If i tel any of my pregnancy complaints he either tells his mother or says i am overthinking.Now he said if I dont follow his house rule i better stay in my parents place only .I am so upset and devastated.What should I do
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What according to you have caused these changes in him and that too after 11 years of courtship? Did any instance cause him to act differently than before? And were there no indications of him acting different during your courtship days?
Why I ask this is that it is difficult for anyone to pretend for 11 long years! He would have displayed his current behavior sometime in the past and maybe you simply decided to overlook it?
Courtship days and marriage days are vastly different and what seemed okay during the courtship time becomes an issue after marriage. If this is not the case, it's quite possible that some incident which was seemingly small became a huge issue in his head causing him to act different?
Now, why am I going into this so much is because most often we overlook reasons that can be worked on. So, do think hard on this...
It is also time to involve your parents who can talk to his mother and figure out why her son is acting all weird. Surely, your mother-in-law needs to know that her interference the way it is, is going to destroy her son's marriage. So, get your parents to talk to her. And in the meantime, as hard as it may seem, do take care of your health for yourself and your baby.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |485 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 24, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am in a relationship with a girl since last 1.5 years, i told her everything regarding my financial status,my past ,everything.......she was also in a relationship for 5 years and she told me intially her ex mistreats her, abuse her , sexually force her and she hates him etc all this stuff.....but i found that she herself called her ex and then told me after 4 months...i forgive her but from last 2 months her behaviour is changed , now she is finding too many problems in how i look, my financial status and compare with other boys that they have car and they took their gf to long drives etc( her ex contacted her again and told her he got a job since then she starts all this stuff? She triggered my insecurities and i am feeling most useless and worst person... what should i do, does she really loves me? Please guide me ...i am started feeling depressed .......
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address the most important thing first, does she really love you? I am not sure about that. It's neither a solid yes or a solid no. But therein lies the challenge. If there is confusion, there is concern. Moreover, the habit of drawing comparisons with other people and how they treat their partners is an indication of a toxic relationship. I would urge you to rethink this relationship.

There will always be someone better out there- with a better car, a better-paying job, or even better looking, but that doesn't mean we stop loving our partner and leave them for that "better someone." Loving your partner is a choice you make every day. Having said that, it is okay if she wants someone "better." Let her. You deserve better too.

Please reconsider this relationship, especially if it is causing you so much sorrow.

Best wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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