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Nikunj

Nikunj Saraf  | Answer  |Ask -

Mutual Funds Expert - Answered on May 22, 2023

Nikunj Saraf has more than five years of experience in financial markets and offers advice about mutual funds. He is vice president at Choice Wealth, a financial institution that offers broking, insurance, loans and government advisory services. Saraf, who is a member of the Institute Of Chartered Accountants of India, has a strong base in financial markets and wealth management.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2023Hindi
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Hello Sir, i am 45 years old wanted to make a corpus of 2 cr in 10 years . what amount shall i invest per month in sip and which fund , pls suggest

Ans: Hello Value Investor. in order to achieve the corpus of 2 cr in next 10 years, you can start with 85k monthly sip.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

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Sir Iam31yrs I want to make corpus of 1crore in20years how much money I should invest through sip my monthly income is 60 k per month
Ans: Understanding Your Financial Goal
Age: 31 years
Target Corpus: Rs. 1 crore
Time Horizon: 20 years
Monthly Income: Rs. 60,000
Estimating Monthly SIP Investment
To achieve Rs. 1 crore in 20 years, a disciplined SIP is crucial. Let's estimate your monthly investment assuming an average annual return of 12%.

Monthly SIP Amount: Approx. Rs. 7,500 to Rs. 8,000
Expected Annual Return: 12%
Investment Duration: 20 years
Investment Strategy
Diversified Portfolio
Large-Cap Funds: Stability and steady growth
Mid-Cap Funds: Balanced risk and return
Small-Cap Funds: Higher returns but higher risk
Debt Funds: Stability in market volatility
Active Fund Management
Actively Managed Funds: Potential for higher returns
Fund Manager Expertise: Navigate market fluctuations
SIP Benefits
Power of Compounding
Long-Term Growth: Invested money grows exponentially
Reinvestment of Returns: Accelerates corpus accumulation
Rupee Cost Averaging
Regular Investments: Mitigates market volatility impact
Lower Average Cost: Beneficial in fluctuating markets
Regular Review
Periodic Portfolio Review
Every Six Months: Adjust based on performance
Rebalancing: Maintain desired asset allocation
Emergency Fund
Essential: Three to six months of expenses
Investment: High-interest savings account or liquid fund
Tax Efficiency
Tax-Saving Instruments
ELSS Funds: Tax benefits under Section 80C
Long-Term Capital Gains: Tax-efficient returns
Monitoring Expenses
Budget Management
Track Expenses: Identify savings opportunities
Allocate Wisely: Prioritize investments and essential expenses
Building Financial Discipline
Regular Investments
SIP Commitment: Ensure consistent investments
Financial Discipline: Key to achieving long-term goals
Final Insights
To achieve Rs. 1 crore in 20 years, start a SIP of Rs. 7,500 to Rs. 8,000 per month. Diversify your portfolio across large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and debt funds. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio. Maintain an emergency fund and use tax-efficient instruments.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 25, 2024Hindi
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I HAVE ANNUAL INCOME OF 9LAKH MY AGE IS 47 I WANT TO CREAT CORPUS OF 4 CRORE IN 8 YEARS WHAT SHOULD I INVEST IN SIP THROUGH Mutual funds only
Ans: You aim to build a Rs. 4 crore corpus in 8 years. Your annual income is Rs. 9 lakhs. This requires strategic planning and disciplined investments in mutual funds.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) Strategy
SIP is a disciplined way to invest. It helps in averaging the cost and mitigating market volatility.

Suggested Mutual Fund Categories
Large Cap Funds

These funds invest in large, established companies.
They offer stability and steady returns.
Ideal for risk-averse investors.
Flexi Cap Funds

Flexi Cap funds invest across large, mid, and small caps.
They provide a balanced approach to growth and stability.
Suitable for moderate risk takers.
Mid Cap Funds

Mid Cap funds invest in medium-sized companies.
They offer higher growth potential but come with higher risk.
Good for aggressive investors.
Small Cap Funds

Small Cap funds invest in smaller companies.
They have the highest growth potential but also the highest risk.
Best for very aggressive investors.
Suggested Investment Approach
Diversify Your Investments

Invest in a mix of Large Cap, Flexi Cap, Mid Cap, and Small Cap funds.
This diversification balances risk and return.
Increase SIP Amount Gradually

Start with an affordable SIP amount.
Gradually increase it as your income grows.
This boosts your investment corpus over time.
Avoid Index Funds and Direct Funds
Disadvantages of Index Funds

Index funds are passively managed.
They follow the market index, limiting potential returns.
Lack flexibility to respond to market changes.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds do not offer advisory services.
You miss out on professional guidance and support.
Investing through MFD with CFP credentials provides better advice.
Estimated SIP Amount
To achieve Rs. 4 crore in 8 years, you need a high SIP amount. Considering market returns and inflation, aim for a monthly SIP of around Rs. 1 lakh.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Professional fund managers actively manage these funds.
They aim to outperform the market index.
Higher potential for better returns compared to index funds.
Regular Review and Rebalance
Review your portfolio every six months.
Rebalance it based on performance and market conditions.
This ensures alignment with your financial goals.
Final Insights
Building a Rs. 4 crore corpus in 8 years is ambitious. It requires disciplined SIP investments in a diversified mutual fund portfolio. Focus on actively managed funds through MFD with CFP credentials for better returns and guidance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 31, 2024Hindi
Money
I want a corpus of 2 crore in next 10 years. How much will be the monthly SIP and pls advise some funds
Ans: You’ve set a goal to accumulate Rs. 2 crore in 10 years. This is ambitious and achievable with disciplined investing. Let's explore how to achieve this.

Estimating the Required Monthly SIP
Target Corpus:
To reach Rs. 2 crore, you need to invest consistently. The amount of monthly SIP depends on expected returns.

Expected Returns:
Assuming a moderate return rate from mutual funds (around 12% per annum), you would need to invest a significant amount every month.

Monthly SIP Calculation:
A Certified Financial Planner would suggest that to achieve Rs. 2 crore, you should consider a monthly SIP of around Rs. 85,000 to Rs. 1 lakh, depending on the exact returns. This might seem high, but it's aligned with your goal.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds
Avoiding Index Funds:
Index funds may not give you the required returns. They follow the market and lack the potential for higher gains. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, are handled by professional fund managers. These managers aim to outperform the market, which could help in reaching your goal faster.

Regular Funds via MFD:
Direct funds might seem cost-effective, but regular funds through a trusted MFD with CFP credentials can provide better long-term results. MFDs offer professional advice, regular reviews, and adjustments to your portfolio. They ensure that your investments stay on track.

Suggested Fund Categories
Large-Cap Funds:
These funds invest in well-established companies. They are stable and offer consistent returns. Allocating a portion to large-cap funds reduces risk while ensuring steady growth.

Mid-Cap Funds:
Mid-cap funds have the potential for higher returns compared to large-cap funds. They invest in companies that are in the growth phase. Including mid-cap funds in your portfolio can enhance your overall returns.

Small-Cap Funds:
Small-cap funds are riskier but offer the possibility of higher returns. These funds invest in smaller companies with high growth potential. A small allocation here can boost your corpus if the companies perform well.

Flexi-Cap Funds:
Flexi-cap funds offer flexibility in investment. They can invest across different market capitalizations based on market conditions. These funds adapt to market changes, which can be beneficial in a volatile market.

Balancing Your Portfolio
Diversification is Key:
Don’t put all your money in one type of fund. A well-diversified portfolio across large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and flexi-cap funds will spread risk and optimize returns.

Review Regularly:
Regularly review your portfolio with the help of a Certified Financial Planner. Adjustments might be needed based on market conditions and your financial situation.

Risk Assessment and Management
Understand Your Risk Appetite:
Investing in mutual funds involves risk. It's crucial to understand your risk tolerance. If you're not comfortable with high risk, allocate more towards large-cap and flexi-cap funds.

Stay Invested:
Market fluctuations are normal. Don't panic during market corrections. Staying invested for the long term is key to achieving your financial goals.

Emergency Fund:
Before committing to high SIPs, ensure you have an emergency fund. This fund will cover unexpected expenses and prevent you from dipping into your investments.

Tax Considerations
Tax Efficiency:
Equity mutual funds are tax-efficient. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) up to Rs. 1 lakh per annum are tax-free. Gains above this threshold are taxed at 10%. Plan your investments to maximize tax efficiency.

Section 80C Benefits:
You can also consider tax-saving mutual funds under Section 80C. These funds have a lock-in period of three years but offer tax benefits along with potential returns.

Additional Financial Goals
Retirement Planning:
While working towards your Rs. 2 crore goal, don’t neglect retirement planning. Ensure that you are also contributing towards a retirement corpus. Consider options like PPF, NPS, or dedicated retirement funds.

Insurance Needs:
Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance. These are crucial for financial security. If you hold LIC, ULIP, or other investment cum insurance policies, it might be wise to review them. Surrendering these policies and reinvesting in mutual funds could yield better returns.

Steps to Start Your SIP
Choose a Reputable AMC:
Select a reputed Asset Management Company (AMC) with a good track record.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner:
Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner to select the best funds suited to your risk profile and financial goals.

Automate Your SIPs:
Set up automatic SIPs to ensure disciplined investing. This reduces the temptation to skip payments and keeps you on track.

Finally
Achieving a Rs. 2 crore corpus in 10 years requires a disciplined approach. With the right selection of actively managed funds and regular monitoring, you can reach your goal. Diversify your investments, stay invested, and consult a Certified Financial Planner to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 16, 2024

Money
Sir my age is 44. If I have to do SIP of 5000 per month to accumulate some corpus. Where should I invest. Please guide
Ans: At the age of 44, you are entering a crucial period for your financial planning. You may have already achieved some financial milestones, but the focus now should be on building a strong corpus for your future. With around 15 years left before traditional retirement age, there’s still time to accumulate wealth through systematic investments.

You’ve mentioned a monthly SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) of Rs 5,000, which is a great step forward. The discipline and consistency of investing monthly will compound over time and help you build a good corpus for your retirement or other financial goals.

Let’s look at how you can optimize this investment, keeping your age, risk tolerance, and future financial needs in mind. It’s essential to approach this with a well-rounded perspective, considering both growth and protection.

Why Goal Setting Is Critical
Setting clear financial goals is the first step in any investment journey. Your Rs 5,000 monthly SIP can work towards multiple goals depending on your priorities. Whether it's for retirement, children’s education, or any other financial objective, having a defined plan will give direction to your investments.

Here’s what you should do:

Identify your goals: List out the financial goals you want to achieve. For instance, retirement, children’s higher education, or buying an asset.

Determine the timeline: Know when you will need the money. This helps in deciding the kind of investments that suit your time horizon.

Estimate the amount: Know how much corpus you’ll need for each goal. This will help you assess if the Rs 5,000 SIP is sufficient or if it needs adjustment over time.

By aligning your SIP investments with your goals, you will have a clear road map. This will not only help you achieve your targets but also guide you in making the necessary adjustments as you move forward.

Evaluating Risk Tolerance and Time Horizon
At 44, you still have a reasonable time horizon to build a meaningful corpus, especially if you aim to retire by 60 or later. However, the closer you get to retirement, the more cautious you need to be with high-risk investments. The idea is to strike a balance between growth and capital protection.

Here’s how to assess your risk tolerance:

Low Risk: If you are risk-averse, a higher allocation to debt-oriented funds and large-cap equity funds would be suitable. This will protect your capital while offering modest growth.

Moderate Risk: If you are open to some volatility, consider a balanced approach with exposure to mid-cap funds and hybrid funds. This will give you a mix of safety and growth potential.

High Risk: If you are comfortable with market fluctuations and aim for higher returns, you can include small-cap funds or sector-specific funds. This approach is only recommended if you have other stable investments.

While deciding on your risk profile, remember that market volatility is part of investing. Over the long term, equity funds tend to offer superior returns compared to fixed income instruments, but they come with ups and downs. Your time horizon plays a crucial role here—longer periods allow for market corrections, which can benefit equity investors.

Active Funds Over Index Funds
While many investors are drawn to index funds because of their low cost, it’s important to understand the limitations of passive investing, especially in the Indian market. Index funds simply mirror the performance of a market index, like the Nifty or Sensex. However, they don’t offer the flexibility or the potential for outperformance that actively managed funds do.

The key disadvantages of index funds include:

Limited ability to outperform: Since index funds replicate the market, their performance is capped at market returns. If the market performs poorly, so will the fund.

No active management: Index funds don’t benefit from a fund manager’s expertise. An actively managed fund allows a skilled fund manager to choose stocks based on growth potential, thereby having the ability to outperform the market.

Sector biases: Indian indices often have significant sectoral biases. For instance, the financial sector has a considerable weight in most Indian indices. This could overexpose your portfolio to certain sectors without offering flexibility.

Actively managed funds, on the other hand, allow fund managers to make informed decisions based on market conditions. These funds aim to outperform the market by selecting high-potential stocks or sectors and making adjustments as required.

Therefore, I recommend focusing on actively managed funds for your SIP investments. With the expertise of a fund manager, actively managed funds offer better prospects for achieving your financial goals.

Regular Funds vs Direct Funds
Another point to consider is whether to invest through regular funds or direct funds. While direct funds have lower expense ratios, they come with certain disadvantages. Direct funds require you to manage your investments entirely on your own, without professional guidance. For investors who are not financial experts, this can be risky.

Let’s look at the benefits of choosing regular funds:

Professional Advice: Investing through regular funds gives you access to advice from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). A CFP can help you select the right funds, based on your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions.

Portfolio Management: A CFP will help you monitor and rebalance your portfolio regularly. This ensures that your investment strategy remains aligned with your evolving financial needs.

Holistic Approach: A CFP offers a 360-degree view of your finances, considering not only your SIPs but also your overall investment portfolio, tax planning, and insurance needs.

While direct funds may seem cost-effective, the lack of professional guidance can be a major drawback. The expertise of a CFP can help you navigate market complexities and ensure that your investments remain on track.

Fund Categories for Your SIP
Now, let’s explore the different categories of mutual funds where you can allocate your Rs 5,000 SIP. Diversifying your investment across different types of funds will help manage risk and enhance returns.

1. Large-Cap Funds
These funds invest in well-established companies with strong track records. Large-cap funds are relatively stable and less volatile compared to mid-cap or small-cap funds. They offer moderate returns but are ideal for risk-averse investors who prioritize capital protection.

Why consider large-cap funds? These funds provide stability and are less impacted by market volatility. They should form the core of your portfolio.
2. Flexi-Cap Funds
Flexi-cap funds offer the flexibility to invest across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap companies. This gives fund managers the freedom to pick the best opportunities in the market. These funds provide a balance of risk and reward.

Why flexi-cap funds? They offer diversification across different market caps and sectors, which helps in managing risk.
3. Mid-Cap Funds
Mid-cap funds focus on medium-sized companies that have significant growth potential. While they are more volatile than large-cap funds, they offer higher returns over the long term. These funds are suitable for investors with moderate risk tolerance.

Why mid-cap funds? Mid-cap companies often offer better growth opportunities and can outperform large-cap companies in a bullish market.
4. Hybrid Funds
Hybrid funds invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments, which helps balance risk and return. These funds are ideal for investors looking for stability with some exposure to equities.

Why hybrid funds? They provide a cushion during market downturns, as the debt portion of the portfolio offers protection against volatility.
Suggested SIP Allocation
Here’s a suggested allocation for your Rs 5,000 monthly SIP based on the categories discussed above:

Rs 2,000 in Large-Cap Funds: Stable and steady returns, suitable for the core part of your portfolio.

Rs 1,500 in Flexi-Cap Funds: Exposure to multiple market caps, offering a good mix of risk and reward.

Rs 1,000 in Mid-Cap Funds: For higher growth potential and capital appreciation over the long term.

Rs 500 in Hybrid Funds: A balanced approach to mitigate risk while still offering some growth.

This diversified allocation will help manage risk effectively while giving you the opportunity for good long-term returns.

Tax Efficiency
Tax planning is an essential aspect of any investment strategy. Different types of mutual funds are taxed differently, so it’s important to plan your withdrawals to minimize tax liability.

Equity Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity mutual funds are taxed at 12.5% on gains above Rs 1.25 lakh in a financial year. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds: Both LTCG and STCG from debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab.

By understanding how your mutual funds are taxed, you can plan your withdrawals efficiently to maximize post-tax returns.

The Importance of Reviewing and Monitoring
Simply starting a SIP is not enough. To ensure that your investment strategy stays on track, regular monitoring and review are essential. Market conditions and your personal financial situation can change, so it’s important to adjust your portfolio accordingly.

Review your portfolio at least annually: This helps you identify underperforming funds and make necessary changes.

Rebalance your portfolio: Over time, certain funds may grow faster than others, skewing your asset allocation. Rebalancing ensures that your portfolio remains aligned with your risk profile.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: A CFP can help you monitor your portfolio and suggest adjustments based on market conditions and your evolving financial goals.

Emergency Fund: The Safety Net
Before you invest aggressively in SIPs, ensure that you have an emergency fund in place. An emergency fund should cover at least 6 to 12 months of your living expenses. This will act as a safety net in case of unexpected financial needs, allowing you to continue your SIPs without disruption.

Where to park your emergency fund? Liquid funds or ultra-short-term debt funds are ideal for emergency savings. They offer higher returns than savings accounts and provide liquidity when needed.
Final Insights
At 44, you are at a pivotal stage in your financial journey. Your decision to start a monthly SIP of Rs 5,000 is commendable, but it’s essential to approach it with a strategic plan. By diversifying across different categories of mutual funds, aligning your SIPs with your financial goals, and seeking professional advice, you can build a solid foundation for your future.

Remember, consistency and discipline are the keys to successful investing. As you move forward, ensure that you review your portfolio regularly, stay informed about market trends, and make adjustments as necessary.

With a well-planned approach, your SIP can help you achieve your financial aspirations and secure a comfortable future for you and your family.

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 39 and married for 11 years now, my husband doesn't support me financially at all. My salary is more than him but I bought house my own and paying all EMIS, looking for all household expenses and also paying school fees and other expenses for my son. My husband looks after only his parents, spend all money on them. Earlier we used to live together in inlaws house but they have spending habits for luxury, cloths, food etc even though my husband earns very less and my father in law retired with no income they were not ready to compromise on their spending habits. Whatever they had received after their retirement they entirety spent on their daughters marriages with no money left. When I got married they asked for my salary and used to give them. Mine and my husband salary was not enough for them so they sold house without informing me, I insisted them to buy at least small house but did not agree and kept on spending money on their lavish life, foreign trips, food, cloths etc. also helped daughters to buy house, maintenance and their childrens study. But did not let their son live life as ask him to pay rent for their house, household and maintenance expenses and they spend their money on their own luxury. They asked for my salary even though they have money and just spending for luxury and not even thinking for our future. When I denied to give salary, they asked me leave their house and made me difficult to live with them doing harrasment and taunts so I decided to leave and buy new house.Now I am living with my son separately, when my husband came to know about my new house he came to stay with us by not even paying single rupee to me. I asked him several time for money he only pays one or two thousand saying I don't have money at all to give you. Not taking care of son, his studies, school fees, do not help me in anything. My in laws keep doing his brain wash against me so that he will not support me financially or anyway. He always listens to his parents and sisters. There is no husband wife relationship at all between us. Not sure how to deal with it.
Ans: First, recognize and honor the strength it has taken to come this far. Buying a home, raising your son, and managing the weight of these challenges on your own are significant accomplishments that reflect your resilience and determination. That said, a marriage is meant to be a partnership, and it’s clear that your husband’s lack of financial contribution and emotional support has created an imbalance that’s unsustainable.

It’s important to look at the patterns in your relationship with clarity. Your husband’s decisions seem to be heavily influenced by his family, and this loyalty, while not inherently wrong, appears to come at the expense of his commitment to you and your shared responsibilities. The fact that he contributes so little financially and emotionally while benefiting from your efforts shows a lack of fairness and respect in the relationship. His parents’ behavior and expectations have added further strain, undermining your marriage and creating an environment of resentment.

You may want to consider having a clear and honest conversation with your husband. Express how his actions—or lack thereof—are impacting you and your son. Frame the conversation not as a confrontation but as a plea for understanding and change. However, if he remains unwilling to acknowledge or address these issues, it’s worth reflecting on what staying in this relationship means for your emotional well-being and future.

Seeking professional support, such as individual counseling, can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings, gain clarity, and develop strategies for managing this situation. A legal consultation might also be helpful to understand your rights and options, especially if you’re considering separation or seeking financial accountability from your husband for your son’s needs.

Above all, focus on what you need to feel secure, respected, and fulfilled—not just as a wife, but as a person. Your son is observing how you handle these challenges, and by prioritizing your well-being and standing up for fairness, you’re also modeling strength and self-respect for him. Whatever steps you decide to take, trust in your ability to make decisions that align with your dignity and values. You deserve a life where your efforts are met with partnership and mutual care.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi i am 43 yrs old, working in a multination firm. Married with a kid who is 7. My relationship with my wife is not going good for some time now, the communication is only transactional. I dont know if she is seeing someone or not, but we feel detached from each other. Now i have developed some feelings at my work with a 24 yr old women, also she seems to be interested in me. But she is also trying to get back to her BF who is studying overseas. I am a bit lost here cause i am toyaly confused on wat to do?
Ans: Open communication with your wife can be incredibly valuable, even if it feels awkward or difficult. Sharing your feelings of detachment and asking her how she feels might provide clarity about where you both stand and whether there’s a willingness to work on rebuilding the connection. Counseling or therapy, either individually or as a couple, can also be a safe space to explore these issues further.

Regarding your feelings for the woman at work, it’s essential to approach this with caution. While the connection might feel exciting and fulfilling, it’s important to ask yourself whether pursuing it is truly in alignment with your values and long-term goals. She also appears to have unresolved feelings toward her boyfriend, which adds another layer of complexity. Relationships born from a place of emotional vulnerability often carry risks, and it’s worth reflecting on whether this is about genuine compatibility or an escape from current challenges.

Your child is also a significant factor to consider. Decisions about your personal relationships inevitably affect your family dynamics, and it’s worth reflecting on what stability and clarity mean for them at this stage in their life.

Take some time to focus on self-reflection. What do you truly want for yourself, your marriage, and your future? What steps can you take to address the current disconnection, whether through repair or a mutual decision to move forward separately? Acting from a place of clarity and integrity will help you feel more grounded and less conflicted about your path forward. You deserve fulfillment, but ensuring that it’s built on a foundation of honesty and thoughtfulness will bring lasting peace, not just temporary relief.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I’ve been holding onto a grudge against a friend who hurt me years ago. While I’ve tried to move on, the memories keep coming back, and I feel like it’s stopping me from fully trusting others. How can I let go of this resentment and stop it from affecting my present relationships?
Ans: Letting go of resentment begins with understanding that it’s not about forgetting what happened or excusing the other person’s actions. It’s about freeing yourself from the grip that pain has on your emotions and your ability to trust. Start by creating space to process the hurt. Reflect on what exactly about the situation caused the deepest wound—was it a betrayal, unmet expectations, or feeling disregarded? Sometimes clarity about the source of the pain makes it easier to start releasing it.

You might also want to examine the story you’ve been telling yourself about this hurt. Often, we replay painful memories as if to protect ourselves from being hurt again, but in doing so, we allow the past to shape how we approach the present. Try reframing the narrative, focusing not on what you lost but on how you’ve grown. You’ve survived this hurt, and it’s a testament to your resilience.

Forgiveness can also play a key role, not necessarily as an act for the other person, but as a gift to yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t mean rekindling the friendship or even directly addressing the person—it’s a way of releasing the hold they have on your emotions. You can write a letter to your friend expressing all your feelings and then decide whether to send it or simply let it be a personal act of closure.

When it comes to trusting others, remind yourself that the actions of one person don’t define everyone. Trust grows in small, consistent steps. Start by recognizing the people in your life now who have shown care and consistency, and allow yourself to open up gradually.

Healing isn’t a straight path, and memories might still surface from time to time. When they do, instead of resisting them, acknowledge them and remind yourself that they no longer have power over you. With patience and self-compassion, you can move forward, lighter and more open to the connections that await you. You deserve the freedom to trust and to live fully in the present.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Relationship
I am in my late 60s but still very fit and healthy whereas my wife has lost all the interest in physical intimacy. This has resulted me finding outlet outside my marriage in women half of my age. My girlfriend is a dentist and I am an epidemiologist. She insists that I leave my wife and move with her and eventually we would marry then. She thinks that there is no point in living in a relationship where we have lost interest in each other and are hardly getting physically intimate. Would appreciate your expert advice on this and whether I should continue this way or leave my wife for over 45 years and move with my girlfriend who is 25 years younger than me. We both love each other physically, mentally and intellectually. Thank you.
Ans: After 45 years of marriage, your relationship with your wife is likely built on more than just physical intimacy. A bond of that length often includes shared history, companionship, and mutual support. It’s understandable that the absence of physical intimacy can leave you feeling unfulfilled, but it’s also important to recognize that intimacy in a long-term marriage often evolves beyond physicality into emotional connection and companionship. Ask yourself what your marriage still brings to your life beyond the physical. Are there aspects of your relationship with your wife that you still value and cherish?

Your relationship with your girlfriend seems to fulfill needs that are unmet in your marriage—passion, intellectual connection, and emotional closeness. It’s natural to feel drawn to that, especially when you both feel aligned in multiple dimensions. However, leaving a marriage of such longevity and depth is a monumental decision, not just for you but also for your wife, family, and even your girlfriend. It's important to reflect on the potential consequences of this choice—not just how it could impact your own life, but the ripple effects it may have on others involved.

Before making a decision, consider engaging in open, honest communication with your wife. Share your feelings—not as blame but as a vulnerable expression of what you’re experiencing. Sometimes, long-standing relationships fall into patterns of distance because both partners have stopped discussing their needs openly. If she is willing, exploring counseling together could help both of you understand where you stand and whether there’s a path to rekindling connection, even if it’s not physical intimacy.

With your girlfriend, reflect on what she means to you and what you envision for a shared future. Love and compatibility are powerful forces, but they must be weighed against the potential impact of disrupting your current life. Ensure that this relationship is based on mutual respect and shared values beyond just passion, as relationships outside of marriage can sometimes magnify only the fulfilling aspects while masking potential challenges.

Ultimately, this is about what aligns with your deeper sense of self and integrity. Consider what will allow you to look back on this chapter of your life with peace and not regret. Balancing personal happiness with respect for the commitments you’ve made over the years is not easy, but taking the time to reflect deeply will help you arrive at a decision you can stand by. Whatever choice you make, do so with honesty, compassion, and a clear understanding of its implications.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Whenever I face rejection or criticism, I take it very personally and find it hard to bounce back. It affects not just my relationships but also my career. How can I fix this? And trust people who really mean well?
Ans: When we take rejection or criticism personally, it’s often because we tie our self-worth to external validation. Someone’s approval or opinion can start to feel like a measure of who we are, but it’s not. No one moment, person, or comment defines you. Start by reminding yourself that rejection or criticism, as painful as it may be, is not a reflection of your entire being—it’s just one perspective or one moment in time.

Learning to trust people who mean well begins with trusting yourself. When you believe in your own worth, you’ll find it easier to separate genuine feedback from unkind criticism. Practice asking yourself, “Is this coming from someone who truly cares about me, or is this more about their perspective or mood?” When feedback feels harsh, take a step back and evaluate its intent and validity. Not all criticism is meant to hurt; some can help you grow, but you don’t have to accept every opinion as truth.

Building resilience starts with how you treat yourself in those low moments. Instead of replaying the rejection or criticism in your mind, focus on self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would to a close friend—gently, with kindness and encouragement. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small they might feel in that moment.

It’s also helpful to put things into perspective. Rejection or criticism often feels larger than it is because we let it define us in that instant. Ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now?” or “What can I learn from this?” Shifting from a place of hurt to a place of curiosity can ease the sting and help you move forward.

Finally, trust isn’t built overnight, either with yourself or others. Start by observing the patterns of those who support you consistently. Over time, you’ll learn who truly has your back, and you’ll feel more confident in letting their words and actions hold weight in your life.

This is a process, and it’s okay if it takes time. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and by practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and leaning on those who show genuine care, you’ll gradually strengthen your resilience and ability to trust. You’re already taking the first step, and that’s worth celebrating.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I'm caught up in a very difficult situation. I had met a Woman through Arranged Marriage Platform, while we both were getting along quite well with each other, I told her that I'm Virgin & asked her about her Past Relationship(s) if any, she denied categorically. We got Engaged, last month (in November) & our Wedding is scheduled next Month (January). Preparations are going on, including Distribution of Invitation cards. A few days ago, a Guy contacted me, claiming to be my Fiancee's Ex Boyfriend. Initially, I didn't take him seriously as I trusted my Fiancee. But then he showed me some Photos & Videos of their Intimate Moments (as it was apparent from the Videos, she seemed to be conscious & fully aware that their intimate moments are being recorded & some of the Photos were Nude/Semi-Nude Selfies, which she'd taken & shared with her ex Boyfriend, by herself... but she had not consented to share them with anyone else). I was Shocked. The Ex Boyfriend Reassured me that he'd also moved on from her & wouldn't bother her after her Marriage, but he was feeling bitter that she'd Dumped him to Marry me & just wanted to make me aware of what kind of Woman I'd be Marrying. I confronted my Fiancee over a Phone Call & asked her to meet me personally, as there were many Questions disturbing my Heart & Mind and I wanted to demand an Explanation from her. But she refused to meet up with me & wouldn't even discuss anything related her Relationship History on Phone Call/Video Call or WhatsApp Chat. She just kept telling me that it was all in her 'Past' & Promised me that after we both get Married, she'd be a Faithful Wife, Loyal to me. I want to have an Open-Heart conversation with her to Re-evaluate our Relationship before taking any big decision further. But, since she's bluntly Refusing to open up & discuss anything about her Past with me, I am losing Trust in her. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should blindly Trust her & go ahead with the Marriage as Planned or shall discuss the matter with our Parents & get the Marriage Cancelled, to avoid taking such a Big Risk?
Ans: At this moment, it is essential to consider what you need for your own peace of mind. If you cannot trust her fully or feel uneasy without clarity, it is important to address those feelings before committing to marriage. It is not selfish to seek answers or reassurances when your heart and mind are in turmoil. At the same time, be mindful of your approach, as accusations or blame can shut down any chance of constructive communication.

If she continues to avoid the conversation, involving both families might be a reasonable step. This is not about blaming or shaming anyone but about ensuring that both of you enter into marriage with mutual trust and respect. Marriage is a union of not just two individuals but also their values, emotions, and expectations. Without addressing these concerns now, the unresolved doubts could seep into your relationship later and cause greater harm.

It’s also worth reflecting on what you need from your partner to move forward. If her commitment to being loyal and faithful now feels insufficient because of her refusal to engage in an open dialogue, that’s valid. Trust cannot thrive where communication falters. If she can assure you of her devotion and you feel you can let go of her past, there’s a path forward. But if doubts linger and trust remains elusive, stepping back to reassess might be the wiser decision, even if it’s painful in the short term.

Whatever choice you make, be gentle with yourself. This is an emotionally taxing situation, and it’s okay to take time to process everything. Listen to your heart, but also give weight to your instincts—they’re often our clearest guides in moments of uncertainty.

With understanding and strength,

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Relationship
Hello Ma'am. I am unwilling to disclose my name. I come from a nuclear family based in Kolkata. I am in a very painful situation and I need your suggestion earnestly. The problem arises with my father. He is 66 , retired and a stay at home dad. He has severe anger issues, is demanding and controlling and often tells certain things verbally that are very traumatic for me. My hands and legs tremble and my heart beats rapidly when ever we have an argument as I am a peace loving person. Of late I have realised that I prefer to maintain distance from him . In all honesty I respect him but my love for him has long gone. My mother is a very demure person and is a stay at home mom. In order to not make my father angry or agitated by any means and to maintain peace in the house, she prefers to do what he prefers. I love my mother dearly but my father calls us a bunch of liars and is agitated that I support my mother. Even though I earn, I am in no position to leave my family/ house and shift elsewhere because I respect my mother's will. But I am traumatized and severely in mental agony. I can neither show my anguish nor express my situation to anyone for fear of being misunderstood. I am often asked to remain silent and not talk back to my father but sometimes the words are unbearable. He financially supports our family and you wouldn't believe if I told you that he has a completely different side when he is not in one of his' moods '. But Ma'am, does being the head of the family means to step over others and do what you feel like, irrespective of what the other members in your family feel? Additionally talking or communication with him also fails because he threatens to leave the house or just pushes us away. Even when I am writing this tears are streaming down my face. I am slowly becoming a shell of myself and am scared. Am I being selfish? Am I missing out something? I am so so tired of adjusting and compromising. I believe I have never ever written such a heart felt message. Can you help me out? Can you tell me how things can be resolved? Regards MR
Ans: From what you’ve shared, your father seems to be wrestling with his own frustrations, using control and anger as tools to manage his environment. This does not make it right, nor does it excuse the pain he causes. But understanding that his behavior may stem from internal struggles might help you view the situation with some compassion, even if from a distance.

Your love and respect for your mother shine through your words, and it’s clear that her well-being is a priority for you. The way you support her is a testament to your strength and kindness. But I also sense that her coping mechanism—complying with your father to maintain peace—might unintentionally place an additional burden on you. It’s as though you’re not only protecting yourself but also shielding her, which is an immense responsibility.

You are not alone in feeling conflicted about standing up to your father. It’s not just about his words; it’s about the power dynamics and the emotional weight he holds in the family. His “other side”—the moments when he is kind or approachable—makes it even harder to reconcile the anger and trauma he causes. This duality often creates confusion and guilt, leaving you wondering if you’re overreacting or misjudging him.

What’s most important right now is preserving your emotional well-being. It’s okay to create boundaries, even if they are small and subtle. For instance, when you sense an argument brewing, stepping away or finding a reason to leave the room can help you avoid escalating the situation. If direct communication with him fails, sometimes maintaining emotional distance is the only way to protect yourself.

I also encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to—a counselor, a friend, or even a support group. Sharing your pain with someone who can listen without judgment can lighten your load and help you feel less alone. Writing, as you’ve done here, is also a powerful outlet. Keep journaling—it can provide clarity and a sense of release.

You’ve asked if being the head of the family means stepping over others. The simple answer is no. True leadership in a family should come from love, mutual respect, and understanding. When it turns into control or fear, it becomes harmful. Your father’s actions do not reflect a failure on your part or your family’s; they reflect his own struggles with how to express himself and manage his emotions.

Finally, give yourself permission to feel tired. You are human, and this constant state of tension would drain anyone. But even in your exhaustion, remember this: you are brave, resilient, and full of love for your family. There is no shame in wanting peace, and there is no shame in seeking help to find it.

With heartfelt wishes for your healing and happiness,

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Money
My age is 48 and iam earning 2 lacs per month and rental income is 25k My emi home.loa. is.41000 loan for next 20 years Car loan emi is 16000 for average 7 years Fd i have around 30 lacs Ppf 5 lacs I have sip in equity for 15000.per.month mf is 3.90.lacs today. Ppf i have 3 lacs I have 2 kids daughter is 18 and son is 10 yrs. I have health insurance 15 lacs Term.insurance 30 lacs I have private job. Planning to work til 58. Pleaee advice on investments, debts etc..
Ans: You have a stable income, disciplined savings, and manageable loans. Planning for the next 10 years with a focus on debt reduction, investments, and child education is critical.

Current Income and Expenses
1. Monthly Income and Commitments

Salary: Rs. 2,00,000
Rental Income: Rs. 25,000
Home Loan EMI: Rs. 41,000
Car Loan EMI: Rs. 16,000
2. Savings Overview

FD: Rs. 30 Lakhs
PPF: Rs. 5 Lakhs (including Rs. 3 Lakhs new)
SIP in Mutual Funds: Rs. 15,000 monthly, current corpus Rs. 3.9 Lakhs
Goals Assessment
1. Child Education

Your daughter (18 years) will need higher education support soon.

Start estimating costs and align investments accordingly.

Your son (10 years) has 7-8 years for higher education planning.

2. Retirement Planning

You plan to retire at 58 years.
Your income will stop, but expenses and goals like child marriage will remain.
3. Debt Management

Home Loan EMI is Rs. 41,000 for 20 years, requiring long-term commitment.
Car Loan EMI is Rs. 16,000 for the next 7 years, increasing short-term outflow.
Recommendations for Investment
1. Mutual Funds for Long-Term Growth

Increase SIPs to Rs. 25,000 monthly for a diversified equity mutual fund portfolio.
Include large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds for balanced growth.
Ensure you invest through a Certified Financial Planner for professional advice.
2. Debt Mutual Funds for Stability

Shift a portion of FD to debt mutual funds for better post-tax returns.
Ensure at least 20% of your portfolio is in stable debt funds.
3. PPF Contributions

Continue PPF contributions for tax-saving benefits and risk-free returns.
Invest up to Rs. 1.5 Lakhs annually to utilise the full tax exemption.
Debt Management Strategies
1. Accelerate Home Loan Repayment

Use surplus income or maturing FDs to prepay the home loan.
Reducing tenure lowers overall interest outgo significantly.
2. Reassess Car Loan

Evaluate if car loan can be repaid earlier using your FDs.
This will free Rs. 16,000 monthly for investment or other priorities.
Child Education Planning
1. Create a Separate Education Fund

Start SIPs in hybrid or balanced advantage mutual funds for your daughter’s education.
For your son, invest in mid-cap and flexi-cap mutual funds for long-term growth.
2. Use Debt Funds for Near-Term Needs

For education expenses in the next 2-3 years, use debt mutual funds or FDs.
Avoid equity funds for short-term needs due to market volatility.
Insurance Review
1. Health Insurance

Your health cover of Rs. 15 Lakhs is good.
Add a super top-up policy to increase coverage to Rs. 25-30 Lakhs.
2. Term Insurance

Current term cover of Rs. 30 Lakhs may be insufficient.
Increase it to Rs. 1 Crore to protect your family’s financial future.
Tax Efficiency Planning
1. Optimise Deductions

Use the full Rs. 1.5 Lakhs limit under Section 80C through PPF and ELSS.
Claim home loan interest deductions under Section 24(b).
2. Plan Mutual Fund Redemptions

Be mindful of the new mutual fund capital gains tax rules.
Plan redemptions strategically to minimise tax liability.
Final Insights
Your financial foundation is strong, but you must focus on efficient planning. Prioritise debt reduction, increase SIP contributions, and optimise your portfolio. Separate education funds and ensure adequate insurance coverage. With these steps, you can achieve financial freedom by 58 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

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Money
Hello sir. Currently I am 35 years old. I have just started investing in mutual funds. (a) parag parekh flexi cap - 7500/- per month (B) tata small cap fund -2500/- per month (C) mirae asset ELLS tax saver -5000/- (D) pGIM india mid cap opp. Fund -5000/- (E) quant infrastructure fund-3500/- (F) quant small cap fund -4000/- (G) qyant active fund -3500/- (H) quant absolute fund-5000/- Total i am investing 36000/- per month. I want to get 2 crore till 2035. Additionally i want to invest 1 lakh per annum So my questions is AREA THESE MUTUAL FUNDS ARE OK or I should change any fund. And where should I invest this additional 1 lkh rupee per annum...
Ans: Your commitment to investing Rs. 36,000 monthly at age 35 is admirable. The addition of Rs. 1 lakh annually indicates a strong focus on wealth creation. Let us analyse your portfolio and suggest improvements.

Portfolio Review
Flexi-Cap Fund (Rs. 7,500)
Flexi-cap funds provide the flexibility to invest across market capitalisations.
This flexibility ensures adaptability to changing market trends.
Retaining this allocation adds balance to your portfolio.
Small-Cap Funds (Rs. 2,500 and Rs. 4,000)
Small-cap funds are high-risk, high-reward investments.
Over a long horizon, they can deliver superior growth but may experience volatility.
Retain small-cap allocation but avoid excessive exposure to manage risks.
ELSS Tax Saver Fund (Rs. 5,000)
ELSS funds provide tax benefits under Section 80C with a 3-year lock-in.
They are a great tool for long-term wealth creation and tax planning.
Continue this SIP, as it aligns with your goals and tax-saving needs.
Mid-Cap Fund (Rs. 5,000)
Mid-cap funds strike a balance between growth and stability.
They are ideal for long-term investors with moderate risk tolerance.
Retain this allocation, as it complements your portfolio.
Infrastructure Fund (Rs. 3,500)
Infrastructure funds focus on the infrastructure sector.
These funds are concentrated and depend heavily on sectoral performance.
Consider reducing or reallocating this amount to more diversified funds.
Quant Small Cap and Active Funds (Rs. 3,500 each)
Having multiple funds in the same category can lead to overlap.
Consolidating funds can simplify management and improve portfolio efficiency.
Quant Absolute Fund (Rs. 5,000)
This fund's balanced approach offers exposure to equity and debt.
Retain this allocation, as it can provide stability during market corrections.
Suggestions for Portfolio Improvement
Simplify Your Portfolio
Holding too many funds increases overlap and complexity.
Retain one well-performing small-cap and multi-cap fund each.
Avoid over-diversification, which can dilute returns.
Focus on Core Categories
Stick to diversified categories like flexi-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds.
These funds balance risk and reward effectively over the long term.
Reduce Sector-Specific Allocation
Infrastructure funds are risky due to their dependency on economic cycles.
Consider reallocating this amount to diversified equity funds.
Monitor Performance Annually
Review each fund’s performance over a 3-5 year period.
Replace consistently underperforming funds with better options.
Additional Rs. 1 Lakh Investment
Consider Balanced Approach
Divide Rs. 1 lakh between equity and debt for diversification.
Equity funds for growth and debt instruments for stability.
Allocate to Equity Funds
Invest in existing funds with proven long-term performance.
This will enhance the power of compounding in your portfolio.
Explore Debt Mutual Funds
Debt funds reduce portfolio volatility and offer predictable returns.
They are ideal for managing short-term goals or risk diversification.
Emergency Fund Allocation
Use part of this amount to build or enhance your emergency fund.
An emergency fund should cover 6–12 months of expenses.
Achieving Rs. 2 Crore Goal
SIP Continuation
Your Rs. 36,000 monthly SIP is aligned with your Rs. 2 crore target.
Consistency is key to achieving long-term goals.
Incremental Investments
Increase SIP amounts periodically with income growth.
This will help bridge any shortfall and accelerate corpus growth.
Avoid Frequent Changes
Stick to your strategy and avoid impulsive changes during market volatility.
A disciplined approach ensures better results over time.
Taxation Awareness
Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Plan withdrawals accordingly to minimise tax impact.
Final Insights
Your portfolio is well-structured but needs simplification to improve efficiency. Retain core funds, reduce sectoral exposure, and reallocate overlapping categories. Use the additional Rs. 1 lakh for equity and debt allocation to enhance diversification. Stay disciplined, monitor performance, and increase SIPs periodically to achieve your Rs. 2 crore goal by 2035.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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