Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Confused about choosing the best and safest platform for mutual fund investments at 43?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 04, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Palle Question by Palle on Oct 04, 2024Hindi
Money

Hello sir . I am 43. I want to invest in mutual funds.but which is the best and safest platform for investment sir.

Ans: Investing in mutual funds is a wise decision that can offer great growth potential. However, the choice of platform for investing is crucial. While online platforms have become popular, investing through a certified Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) stands out for several reasons. I will discuss why choosing an MFD is often a better option, especially for Indian investors like you, and address some important aspects of mutual fund investments.

Let's walk through some critical points.

The Human Touch of MFDs vs. Online Platforms

Online platforms might look convenient at first glance. But they cannot replace the personalized, human touch of a professional MFD.

Certified Financial Planners and MFDs can give you tailored advice. They understand your unique financial goals and family needs.

Emotional guidance is another vital aspect that no online platform can provide.

Investing is not just about numbers. There are emotional ups and downs, especially in volatile markets. MFDs can help you remain calm during these times. This keeps you from making hasty or emotional decisions.

Online platforms are good for those who have deep knowledge of the markets. But for regular investors, a trusted human MFD is a better guide.

Actively Managed Funds Over Index Funds

Actively managed mutual funds are a great option for those looking for higher returns. Fund managers actively track the market and make decisions to beat the benchmark index. This personalized touch often brings in better returns, especially in markets like India.

Index funds, while simple and cheap, don't perform as well in volatile or emerging markets. They just mirror the market index, and there's no active management involved. This might work in developed markets, but in India, active funds often do better.

Also, index funds don’t give you protection during market crashes. When the market falls, the entire index fund value also falls. In contrast, actively managed funds can take defensive positions and protect your investment.

So, avoid getting attracted to the low-cost structure of index funds. It's better to focus on performance and risk management.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds

Another key decision is whether to invest in direct mutual funds or regular funds through an MFD.

Direct funds might seem cheaper because they don’t have distributor commissions. However, the hidden risk is that you’re on your own. You don’t get professional advice, which can cost you in the long term.

Regular funds come with professional guidance from an MFD, who helps you track your investments and advises when to buy or sell.

Most investors don’t have the time or expertise to track and rebalance their portfolios regularly. This is where an MFD steps in and makes life easier.

The small cost you pay for this service is well worth it in the long run, as you’ll likely earn better returns with sound advice.

The Importance of Diversification

Any good MFD will recommend diversification in your mutual fund investments. This means spreading your money across various sectors, asset classes, and fund types.

By diversifying, you reduce the risk of heavy losses. If one sector or asset class performs poorly, others can compensate.

For example, you can invest in equity, debt, and hybrid funds. Equity funds offer higher growth potential, while debt funds offer stability and safety. A mix of both gives a balanced approach.

An MFD helps you choose the right funds that align with your risk tolerance and goals. They will ensure you don’t put all your eggs in one basket, which online platforms rarely focus on.

Emotional Discipline in Volatile Markets

Investing through an MFD helps you maintain emotional discipline during volatile market conditions.

Online platforms can be tempting, as they allow you to react quickly to market changes. But this can lead to impulsive decisions like selling in panic during a market crash.

An MFD will help you stay calm, reminding you of the long-term strategy. This ensures you don’t make decisions based on short-term market noise.

Mutual fund investments should be treated like a marathon, not a sprint. Long-term patience often results in better returns.

Taxation of Mutual Funds: New Rules Explained

It’s also important to understand how mutual funds are taxed.

For equity mutual funds, Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt mutual funds follow your income tax slab rates for both long-term and short-term gains.

It’s crucial to plan your investments keeping these tax rules in mind. A good MFD will help you optimize your investment plan to minimize tax liabilities. They can guide you on when and how to redeem your funds to reduce tax burdens.

The Role of Certified Financial Planners in Mutual Fund Investments

Certified Financial Planners (CFPs) add value by understanding your entire financial situation. They take a holistic approach, considering your goals, family needs, and risk appetite.

They are well-trained professionals who can guide you through life stages—whether you’re planning for retirement, your child's education, or saving for a big purchase.

A CFP will also consider your non-mutual fund investments, like PF, PPF, or insurance policies, to give you a comprehensive investment strategy.

They focus not only on wealth creation but also on wealth protection. If you have insurance policies that aren't performing well, a CFP can suggest alternatives like mutual funds to boost your returns.

Investment Strategy for Specific Goals

Investing in mutual funds should always align with your financial goals.

For example, if you’re saving for your child’s education, you may need a combination of equity and debt funds to match your time horizon. Equity funds will help you grow your investment, while debt funds will provide stability as you approach the goal.

If you're saving for retirement, an MFD can create a plan that balances risk and reward based on how many years you have left before retirement.

The key is to invest with a goal in mind. Random investments often lead to lower returns or missed opportunities.

Final Insights

Choosing the right platform and method for investing in mutual funds is a crucial decision. While online platforms offer convenience, they lack the personalized touch and emotional guidance that comes from an experienced MFD.

Investing is not just about numbers; it’s about staying disciplined, especially during market volatility. An MFD provides that extra layer of comfort and assurance, ensuring that your investments stay aligned with your goals.

By focusing on actively managed funds, regular plans, and maintaining emotional discipline, you can maximize your returns and reduce risks. Diversification, goal-based investing, and tax planning are essential parts of a successful investment strategy.

In conclusion, always remember that investing is a long-term journey. Choose a certified MFD to guide you through this journey with wisdom and care.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Oct 05, 2024 | Answered on Oct 07, 2024
Listen
Thank you sir
Ans: You're welcome! If you have any more questions or need further assistance, feel free to ask. Best wishes on your financial journey!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi, i am 40 years old i want to invest 5k in mutual funds ,what is the best option to play safely?
Ans: Given your age and preference for a safer investment approach, here are some suggestions:

Balanced Funds: These funds invest in both equities and debt, providing a balanced approach to growth and stability. They aim to offer decent returns with lower volatility compared to pure equity funds.
Large Cap Funds: These funds invest in large, well-established companies that are generally less volatile than smaller companies. They tend to perform well over the long term and are considered safer compared to mid and small-cap funds.
Debt Funds: If you're looking for stability and regular income, debt funds can be a good option. They invest in fixed-income securities like government bonds, corporate bonds, and money market instruments. They offer relatively stable returns but generally lower than equity funds.
Index Funds: These funds aim to replicate the performance of a specific market index (like Nifty or Sensex). They come with lower expense ratios and offer a diversified exposure to the market.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Instead of a lump sum investment, consider investing through SIPs. It allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly, helping in rupee cost averaging and reducing the impact of market volatility.
Remember, while these options are considered safer, all investments carry some level of risk. It's essential to align your investment choice with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. Consulting a financial advisor can help you make an informed decision tailored to your needs.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2024Hindi
Money
I want to invest in mutual funds. Can u suggest which one is the best
Ans: Understanding Mutual Funds
Mutual funds pool money from various investors to invest in diversified assets, managed by professional fund managers. They offer diversification, professional management, and potential for good returns.

Types of Mutual Funds
Mutual funds come in various types, each serving different financial goals and risk appetites.

Equity Mutual Funds
Equity funds primarily invest in stocks. They offer high return potential but come with higher risk. Suitable for long-term goals like retirement or children's education.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt funds invest in fixed-income instruments like bonds and government securities. They are less risky and suitable for short to medium-term goals like buying a car or planning a vacation.

Hybrid Mutual Funds
Hybrid funds invest in a mix of equity and debt, offering balanced risk and returns. They suit investors seeking moderate risk with a balanced approach.

Sectoral/Thematic Funds
Sectoral funds invest in specific sectors like technology or healthcare. Thematic funds focus on themes like infrastructure or emerging markets. High-risk, high-reward category.

Active vs. Passive Funds
Active funds are managed by fund managers who make decisions to outperform the market. Passive funds track a specific index.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
While index funds have lower fees, they often underperform compared to actively managed funds during market downturns. Active fund managers can make strategic decisions to protect investments.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Active funds leverage fund managers' expertise to navigate market complexities. They can adjust portfolios based on market conditions, offering potential for higher returns and better risk management.

Choosing the Right Mutual Fund
Choosing the right mutual fund requires understanding your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon.

Assessing Financial Goals
Identify your financial goals: buying a home, children's education, retirement planning, or wealth creation. Align mutual fund selection with these goals.

Understanding Risk Tolerance
Risk tolerance varies among investors. Assess your comfort with market volatility. High-risk tolerance suits equity funds; low-risk tolerance fits debt funds.

Evaluating Investment Horizon
Investment horizon influences fund selection. Short-term goals (1-3 years) align with debt funds; long-term goals (5+ years) align with equity funds.

Regular vs. Direct Funds
Regular funds involve mutual fund distributors (MFDs) and offer advisory services. Direct funds eliminate intermediaries, reducing fees but requiring self-management.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds save on commissions but demand significant time and knowledge. Investors may miss out on expert guidance, impacting returns and risk management.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Regular funds provide access to Certified Financial Planners (CFPs) who offer personalized advice, portfolio management, and regular monitoring. This support can optimize returns and align investments with goals.

Evaluating Fund Performance
Evaluate mutual fund performance by analyzing historical returns, consistency, and comparison with benchmarks and peer funds.

Historical Returns
Review past performance to gauge potential returns. However, past performance doesn't guarantee future results.

Consistency of Returns
Consistency is crucial. A fund with stable returns over various market cycles indicates good management.

Benchmark Comparison
Compare fund performance with relevant benchmarks. Consistent outperformance indicates strong management.

Peer Comparison
Evaluate a fund against its peers. Consistently outperforming peers signals a robust fund.

Importance of Expense Ratio
Expense ratio impacts net returns. Lower ratios are preferable, but consider the services and performance offered by the fund.

Fund Manager's Track Record
The fund manager's experience and track record are vital. A skilled manager can significantly impact fund performance.

Understanding SIP and Lump Sum Investments
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) and lump sum investments are common ways to invest in mutual funds.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
SIP allows regular, small investments. It offers rupee cost averaging and disciplined investing, reducing market timing risks.

Lump Sum Investment
Lump sum investment involves investing a large amount at once. Suitable for investors with idle cash and knowledge to time the market.

Tax Implications
Understanding tax implications is crucial for maximizing returns and planning withdrawals.

Equity Funds
Equity funds held for over a year attract long-term capital gains tax at 10% on gains exceeding Rs 1 lakh annually. Short-term gains (within a year) are taxed at 15%.

Debt Funds
Debt funds held for over three years attract long-term capital gains tax at 20% with indexation benefits. Short-term gains are taxed as per the investor's income tax slab.

Asset Allocation and Diversification
Effective asset allocation and diversification reduce risk and enhance returns.

Asset Allocation
Divide investments across asset classes based on risk tolerance and goals. A balanced mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds can optimize returns.

Diversification
Diversify within each asset class to spread risk. Invest in different sectors, themes, and geographies to mitigate specific risks.

Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly monitor your investments and rebalance your portfolio to maintain desired asset allocation and align with goals.

Monitoring
Review fund performance, portfolio alignment with goals, and market conditions periodically.

Rebalancing
Adjust investments to maintain target asset allocation. Rebalancing involves selling overperforming assets and buying underperforming ones.

Importance of a Certified Financial Planner
Engaging a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers expert guidance, personalized advice, and ongoing support.

Expert Guidance
CFPs provide professional expertise in financial planning, investment strategies, and market analysis.

Personalized Advice
CFPs tailor investment recommendations to individual goals, risk tolerance, and financial situation.

Ongoing Support
CFPs offer continuous support, portfolio reviews, and adjustments to align with changing financial goals and market conditions.

Avoiding Common Mistakes
Avoid common investment mistakes to safeguard your wealth and optimize returns.

Chasing Past Performance
Don't rely solely on past performance. Market conditions change, and top-performing funds may not always sustain returns.

Ignoring Risk
Understand and accept the inherent risks in mutual fund investments. Choose funds aligning with your risk tolerance.

Lack of Diversification
Avoid concentrating investments in a single fund or asset class. Diversify to spread risk.

Emotional Investing
Don't let emotions drive investment decisions. Stick to your financial plan and avoid impulsive actions.

Considering Your Financial Situation
Evaluate your current financial situation, including income, expenses, liabilities, and existing investments. This helps determine how much you can invest and in which types of funds.

Evaluating Existing Investments
If you hold LIC, ULIP, or investment-cum-insurance policies, consider surrendering them and reinvesting in mutual funds. These products often have high charges and lower returns compared to mutual funds.

Importance of Financial Education
Continuous financial education empowers you to make informed investment decisions.

Staying Updated
Keep abreast of market trends, economic changes, and new investment opportunities. Knowledge enhances decision-making.

Attending Workshops
Participate in financial workshops and seminars. They provide valuable insights and updates on investment strategies and market outlooks.

Final Insights
Investing in mutual funds is a strategic way to grow wealth and achieve financial goals. Understanding different types of funds, assessing your financial situation, and aligning investments with your goals and risk tolerance are crucial steps. Engaging a Certified Financial Planner offers professional guidance, personalized advice, and ongoing support, optimizing your investment journey. Avoid common mistakes, stay educated, and regularly monitor and rebalance your portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 29, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I am 61yrs old i want to invest in mutualfund for a short time suggest me the best fund through which i can invest.
Ans: At 61 years old, your investment goals might include safety and liquidity. It’s vital to choose options that preserve your capital and offer reasonable returns. Short-term investments require a careful approach to avoid market volatility.

Evaluating Investment Timeframe
For short-term investments, consider the timeframe:

Less than 1 year: Choose highly liquid options.
1 to 3 years: Opt for moderate-risk funds.
Over 3 years: Consider funds with balanced risk.
Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can offer better returns compared to index funds. These funds:

Are managed by professional fund managers.
Can outperform the market with strategic decisions.
Provide flexibility in changing market conditions.
Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds track a specific market index, but they:

Lack active management, leading to average returns.
May not adapt to market changes quickly.
Offer less flexibility in volatile markets.
Choosing Regular Funds Through MFDs
Investing in regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential provides:

Professional guidance.
Regular portfolio reviews.
Tailored investment strategies.
Short-Term Investment Options
Consider these options for short-term mutual funds:

Liquid Funds: Ideal for investments up to 6 months. They invest in high-quality, short-term securities.

Ultra-Short Duration Funds: Suitable for 6 months to 1 year. They offer slightly higher returns than liquid funds.

Short Duration Funds: For 1 to 3 years, these funds invest in debt instruments with short maturities.

Benefits of Investing Through a CFP
A Certified Financial Planner can:

Assess your risk tolerance.
Help in selecting suitable funds.
Offer a comprehensive financial plan.
Provide regular performance reviews.
Mitigating Risks
Short-term investments carry minimal risk, but still consider:

Credit Risk: Ensure the fund invests in high-rated securities.

Interest Rate Risk: Choose funds with shorter durations to minimize impact.

Diversification
Spread your investment across multiple funds to:

Reduce risk.
Enhance returns.
Achieve better stability.
Tax Efficiency
Short-term mutual funds are taxed based on your income slab. Long-term capital gains (if held over 3 years) are taxed at 20% with indexation benefits.

Monitoring Your Investments
Regularly review your portfolio. Make adjustments as needed. Your CFP will provide insights on market trends and fund performance.

Final Insights
Short-term mutual fund investments can be a safe and effective way to grow your wealth. Focus on liquidity, safety, and moderate returns. Choose actively managed funds and leverage the expertise of a Certified Financial Planner for optimal results.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I (30M) am looking for Arranged Marriage Prospects. My Family has found a Prospect (27F) who seems like a Good Match, she's Well Educated, Earning Well & from the same Community. I haven't yet met her in Person, but connected with her on Social Media Platforms & interacting regularly. Recently, I scrolled through her Instagram Profile (It's a Public Profile). She seems to be a very Sociable Person, she has shared many Photos of herself, Partying/Travelling along with her Friends. My Problem is that she seems to like Wearing Clothes which are Revealing. She has shared many Photos/Videos, in which she's skimpily dressed (including some Bikini Photos at Beach/Swimming Pool). She also has a Pierced Navel Ring & Tattoos on some Private Parts like Chest, Hips, Thighs & Lower Back, which she flaunts proudly on Social Media. Though, I am not Judging her Character, based on her Choice of Clothing, but seeing all these made me a little Uncomfortable, as I am a very Modest & Simple Person myself. I have not discussed this issue with my Parents, as they have a very good opinion about her (which I don't want to Ruin). But I've discussed with some of my closest Friends (of both Genders) & some of them have Chided me for being so Judgemental. They suggested me to meet her atleast once in person, to understand what's her Character/Personality like. Shall I give it a try or Reject her Politely at this stage itself, without wasting any more Time (either her or mine)? Or am I being too Superficial to Judge a Woman, just based on her Social Media Profile, without even meeting her once, personally (This is what some of my closest Female Friends opined)? Please suggest me how to proceed with this Prospect in Arranged Marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it might come off as you being judgmental of her choice of dressing, but you have a right to form an opinion in your mind, especially since in your case, you might be marrying the person. As long as you are not making up your mind about her based on her dressing, forcing her to dress the way she wants, or thrusting your opinion on her, it's alright. It's human nature to be a bit jerked by the choices others make that we won't make ourselves. Having said that, I believe meeting her once in person can be good for you; you might have a new perspective- both about her and on life. But no one can force you to do either. My suggestion is that do what you think is right- if you are sure you will reject this alliance based on her choice of clothes, even if she is the nicest person on the face of the earth, meeting up might be a waste of time. But if you think you are open to changing your mind, go for it.

I would also like for you to remember one important point if things work out between the two of you- do not try to push your opinions on dressing and change the way she is after getting married. That would not be fair. In case, you start hoping that she will change and fit YOUR mold of the perfect woman, I would strongly suggest keeping that thought in check.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x