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Sunil

Sunil Lala  |203 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Dec 06, 2023

Sunil Lala founded SL Wealth, a company that offers life and non-life insurance, mutual fund and asset allocation advice, in 2005. A certified financial planner, he has three decades of domain experience. His expertise includes designing goal-specific financial plans and creating investment awareness. He has been a registered member of the Financial Planning Standards Board since 2009.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 06, 2023Hindi
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Hallo sir, I have no job but i have 4/5 lacs in saving. So what i do for monthly earning. Please suggest. My age is54

Ans: Is it ok if you get 2500/- per month ?
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
Money
Helo sir I'm 28 rights now and I have 6 lac liability my monthly income 30k sir plz suggest me a way for investment and short term earning
Ans: Understanding Your Financial Situation
You're doing well by seeking financial advice at 28. Your monthly income of Rs. 30,000 is a good starting point. A liability of Rs. 6 lakhs can seem daunting, but with the right strategy, you can manage it effectively.

Setting Financial Goals
First, let's define your financial goals. Short-term goals could include clearing your Rs. 6 lakhs liability. Long-term goals might involve savings for retirement or a house.

Budgeting Your Income
Create a budget to manage your Rs. 30,000 monthly income. Allocate funds for essential expenses like rent, groceries, and utilities. Ensure you save a portion of your income each month.

Clearing Your Liability
Prioritise clearing your Rs. 6 lakhs liability. High-interest debt can hinder financial progress. Aim to pay more than the minimum amount due each month to reduce the principal faster.

Emergency Fund
Establish an emergency fund. Aim to save at least three to six months' worth of expenses. This fund will act as a safety net during unexpected financial situations.

Investment Options for Short-Term Earnings
For short-term earnings, consider options that offer liquidity and low risk. Fixed deposits and savings accounts with good interest rates are stable choices. These provide moderate returns with low risk.

Actively Managed Funds
Investing in actively managed funds can be beneficial. These funds are managed by experts who aim to outperform the market. They might offer higher returns compared to index funds, which only track the market.

Regular Funds with Certified Financial Planner
Consider regular funds managed through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). CFPs provide professional guidance and tailored advice, ensuring your investments align with your financial goals.

Diversifying Investments
Diversify your investments to reduce risk. Don't put all your money into one type of investment. Consider a mix of debt and equity funds to balance risk and return.

Short-Term Investment Strategies
For short-term goals, focus on investments that mature in a few years. Look for options with low volatility and stable returns. These investments will help you meet your immediate financial needs.

Regular Review and Adjustment
Regularly review and adjust your investment portfolio. Market conditions change, and your financial goals might evolve. Ensure your investments remain aligned with your objectives.

Benefits of Professional Guidance
Working with a Certified Financial Planner can provide significant benefits. They offer expertise, personalised advice, and help navigate complex financial decisions. Their guidance ensures your investments are well-structured.

Building a Financial Plan
Develop a comprehensive financial plan. Include your income, expenses, liabilities, and investment goals. A well-structured plan will guide your financial decisions and keep you on track.

Importance of Discipline
Financial discipline is key to success. Stick to your budget, avoid unnecessary expenses, and consistently invest. Discipline ensures steady progress towards your financial goals.

Learning and Growing
Educate yourself about personal finance and investment options. Knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions. Stay updated on financial trends and market conditions.

Benefits of Diversification
Diversifying your investments spreads risk. By investing in various assets, you protect yourself from market volatility. A diversified portfolio offers stability and potential for growth.

Evaluating Risk Tolerance
Understand your risk tolerance before investing. Some investments carry higher risk but offer higher returns. Align your investment choices with your comfort level and financial goals.

Tax Implications
Consider the tax implications of your investments. Different investment options have varying tax treatments. Aim to minimise tax liability while maximising returns.

Long-Term Financial Goals
While focusing on short-term goals, keep long-term objectives in mind. Retirement planning should start early. Consistent investments over time will build a substantial corpus for the future.

Balancing Life and Finances
Achieve a balance between enjoying life and managing finances. Allocate funds for leisure and personal growth. A balanced approach ensures financial well-being and personal satisfaction.

Seeking Professional Advice
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide clarity and direction. Their expertise helps navigate financial complexities. Professional advice ensures your financial journey is smooth and successful.

Conclusion
You're on the right track by seeking financial advice at a young age. With a structured plan, disciplined approach, and professional guidance, you can achieve financial stability and growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Money
I am NRE working at Gulf. Monthly income is 4 lacks.. I can save monthly 3.2 lacks monthly. My current funds 1.5 crs in Stock market equity all large cap sticks.. Tcs.. Infotech. Ltim.. LT.. Asain paints..tata chemicals.. Ltts,ICICI. Kotak Mahendra. NSC I have 1.5 crs.. FD 37 L. I am planning to quit job after 2 years. I need plan monthly income 1.2 lacks per month. Please advise me better plan...
Ans: It's fantastic to see you planning for early retirement with such clear goals. Your current savings and investments are impressive. Let's create a comprehensive plan to achieve your target monthly income of Rs 1.2 lakhs after you quit your job in 2 years.

Understanding Your Financial Goals
You aim to have a monthly income of Rs 1.2 lakhs after retirement. Currently, you have:

Stock Market Investments: Rs 1.5 crores in large-cap stocks.
NSC: Rs 1.5 crores.
Fixed Deposit: Rs 37 lakhs.
Monthly Savings: Rs 3.2 lakhs.
Evaluating Your Current Financial Situation
Stock Market Investments:

Large-cap stocks such as TCS, Infosys, L&T, Asian Paints, Tata Chemicals, LTTS, ICICI, and Kotak Mahindra.
Total value: Rs 1.5 crores.
Fixed Deposits:

Current value: Rs 37 lakhs.
NSC:

Current value: Rs 1.5 crores.
Increasing Your Monthly Income
1. Diversify Your Investments
While large-cap stocks are stable, diversification can help in achieving higher returns. Let's explore various investment options.

A. Mutual Funds

Mutual funds provide professional management and potential for higher returns. Consider the following types:

Equity Mutual Funds: Invest in stocks of various companies, offering high returns with moderate to high risk.
Large Cap Funds: Invest in well-established companies.
Mid Cap Funds: Invest in medium-sized companies with growth potential.
Small Cap Funds: Invest in smaller companies with high growth potential.
Hybrid Funds: Invest in both equity and debt instruments.
Balanced Advantage Funds: Dynamic allocation between equity and debt.
Aggressive Hybrid Funds: Higher allocation to equities.
B. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds. This helps in rupee cost averaging and compounding returns over time.

C. Debt Funds

Debt funds invest in fixed income securities, providing stable returns with lower risk compared to equity funds.

Short-Term Debt Funds: Suitable for an investment horizon of 1-3 years.
Long-Term Debt Funds: Suitable for an investment horizon of 3-5 years.
D. Public Provident Fund (PPF)

PPF is a government-backed scheme offering attractive interest rates and tax benefits. It has a lock-in period of 15 years, making it suitable for long-term investments.

Invest up to Rs 1.5 lakhs per year: Maximize your investment to avail tax benefits under Section 80C.
E. Fixed Deposits and Debt Funds

While fixed deposits offer security, they have lower returns. Diversify by investing in debt funds for better returns with moderate risk.

Debt Mutual Funds: Suitable for short to medium-term goals. They offer better returns compared to fixed deposits.
Generating Passive Income
To reach your goal of Rs 1.2 lakhs per month, focus on generating passive income through various channels.

A. Dividend Income

Invest in dividend-paying stocks and mutual funds. Dividends provide regular income in addition to capital appreciation.

B. Interest Income

Invest in fixed income securities like bonds and debentures to generate regular interest income.

Risk Management
Diversifying your investments helps in managing risks. Here’s how you can balance your portfolio:

Equity Investments: 50% allocation in mutual funds and direct stocks.
Debt Investments: 30% allocation in debt mutual funds and fixed income securities.
Fixed Deposits and NSC: 20% allocation in fixed deposits and NSC.
Regular Review and Adjustment
Financial planning is dynamic. Regularly review and adjust your investments based on market conditions and your financial goals.

Annual Review: Review your financial plan at least once a year.
Adjust Investments: Adjust your investments based on changes in your financial goals, market conditions, and risk tolerance.
Tax Planning
Maximize tax-saving investments to reduce your tax liability and boost your savings.

Section 80C: Invest in PPF, EPF, ELSS, and other tax-saving instruments to avail tax benefits under Section 80C.
Section 80D: Avail tax benefits on health insurance premiums under Section 80D.
Insurance Planning
Adequate insurance coverage is essential to protect your family’s financial future.

Term Insurance: Provides financial security to your family in case of your untimely demise. Ensure your coverage is sufficient to cover your family’s needs.
Health Insurance: Covers medical expenses and protects your savings. Consider a family floater plan to cover yourself and your dependents.
Power of Compounding
The power of compounding works best when you start early and stay invested for a long time. The interest earned on your investments gets reinvested, which in turn earns more interest. This cycle continues, leading to exponential growth of your investment over time.

Final Insights
Achieving your retirement goals requires disciplined saving and investing. Here are some final insights to help you stay on track:

Start Early: The earlier you start investing, the more time your money has to grow.
Be Disciplined: Stick to your investment plan and avoid unnecessary expenditures.
Diversify: Diversify your investments to manage risk and ensure steady returns.
Seek Professional Advice: Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized financial advice.
By following this comprehensive financial plan, you can ensure a secure and comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 02, 2024

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Hi I'm 46 I have savings 26 lacks & iam jobless suggest me to get monthly income by investing
Ans: Current Financial Overview
Age: 46 years

Job Status: Unemployed

Savings: Rs 26 lakhs

Financial Goals
Objective: Generate a monthly income through investments
Investment Strategy
Assessing Current Savings
Savings: Rs 26 lakhs

Make the right use of your savings to generate regular income.
Diversify your investments to strike a balance between risk and return.
Creating a Monthly Income
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP):

A systematic withdrawal plan provides for periodical returns from your mutual fund investments.
It provides for regular monthly income.
It is always advisable to opt for actively managed funds for better returns.
On the other hand, avoid index funds because of lower returns and lack of flexibility. Debt Mutual Funds:

Invest a proportion in debt mutual funds for stability. They give comparatively better returns than fixed deposits. Such funds are good for regular income generation with low levels of risk. Balanced Funds:

Invest in balanced funds as they mix equity and debt. They will give growth and stability. Engage a Certified Financial Planner for choosing the funds. Monthly Income Plans (MIPs):

Consider the MIPs, which focus more on generating regular income.
They primarily invest in debt with an exposure to equity as well.
They provide higher returns compared with bank savings accounts
Senior Citizen Savings Scheme:
If eligible, invest in SCSS as the returns from this scheme are safe and regular.
The interest rate is higher compared to other savings
Post Office Monthly Income Scheme:
POMIS schemes should be considered if you want returns that come as a guaranteed monthly income.
It is a safe and secure way of earnings for regular income.
Risk Management
Diversification of Investments:

Invest in a mix of assets classes.
This lowers risk and also guarantees steady returns. Emergency Fund:

Keep an emergency fund which is equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. Store this in a liquid fund or even a savings account for easy access. Regular Monitoring:

Keep a check on your investment portfolio regularly. Bring changes in your investments as per the market conditions and your needs. Disadvantages of Index Funds Limited Flexibility:

Index funds strictly follow the market index. They cannot alter with the changing market at all. Lower Returns:

These funds can be easily surpassed by the actively managed funds.
A professional fund manager can grab better opportunities for returns.
No Professional Management:

Index funds are not actively managed.
Active funds have professionals making investment decisions for them.
Benefits of Investing Through a CFP
Expert Advice:

A CFP offers customized investment advice.
They assist in selecting the right fund and managing associated risks.
Regular Monitoring:

A CFP continuously monitors your investment portfolio and makes changes as required.
This ensures you achieve your financial goals.
Tax Efficiency:

A CFP advises on tax-saving investment options.
They ensure maximum returns with minimum tax liabilities.
Finally
Generate Regular Income: Generate a regular income stream from your savings.

Diversification of Investments: Diversify across various assets.

Professional Advice: Engage a CFP for custom-made advice.

Review Regularly: Get into the habit of continuous monitoring and reviewing the portfolio.

From the above plan, you will have financial independence and be able to generate regular income.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
Money
Iam under debt of Rs 10lac and my salary is 23k per month. How to come out from debt and i need to get debt free. So, please guide me.
Ans: Being in debt can be overwhelming, especially on a limited monthly income. But with disciplined planning and commitment, you can gradually achieve financial freedom. Here’s a detailed guide to help you pay off your Rs 10 lakh debt and build a stable financial foundation.

Step 1: Calculate Your Monthly Expenses and Set a Budget
Start by understanding your cash flow. Track every expense to get a clear picture of your spending.

Essential Expenses: These include rent, food, utilities, and any other basic needs.

Discretionary Expenses: Cut back on non-essentials like dining out, entertainment, and shopping.

Savings and Debt Repayment: Dedicate any amount left after essential expenses towards debt repayment.

Tip: Keep a written budget or use a mobile app to monitor your expenses. Reducing discretionary spending will help increase the amount available for debt repayment.

Step 2: Increase Income if Possible
Boosting income, even slightly, can significantly accelerate debt repayment. Here are some ideas:

Freelance or Part-Time Work: If possible, look for freelance work in areas you’re skilled in, like writing, tutoring, graphic design, or programming.

Overtime or Extra Shifts: If your employer offers overtime, consider taking it on to increase your income.

Sell Unwanted Items: Sell items you no longer need, such as electronics, clothes, or furniture, to generate additional cash.

Increasing your income, even temporarily, can help you pay off your debt faster.

Step 3: Create a Debt Repayment Plan
List all your debts, including outstanding amounts, interest rates, and due dates. Here are two strategies for paying them off:

Snowball Method: Pay off smaller debts first to gain momentum, then tackle larger ones. This provides psychological motivation by clearing debts faster.

Avalanche Method: Focus on debts with the highest interest rates first. This method saves more on interest in the long term.

Choose the strategy that suits you best and start making extra payments each month.

Step 4: Prioritize High-Interest Loans and EMI Payments
Debt with higher interest can escalate quickly, so prioritize clearing them first. Some common examples include:

Credit Card Debt: If part of your debt is on credit cards, try to pay it down as quickly as possible. Credit card interest rates are often the highest.

Personal Loans: If your Rs 10 lakh debt includes high-interest loans, prioritize these over lower-interest obligations.

Contact your creditors to explore if they can reduce your interest rate temporarily. Any reduction helps ease the debt burden.

Step 5: Consider Debt Consolidation Options
Debt consolidation combines multiple loans into a single, lower-interest loan, making it easier to manage. Options include:

Personal Loans: Look for a lower-interest personal loan to pay off existing debts. This can reduce the overall interest burden.

Balance Transfer: If a major portion of your debt is on a credit card, look for a card offering a low or zero-interest balance transfer option.

Be cautious of fees associated with consolidation options and make sure to do thorough research. Consolidation can simplify payments and potentially save you money on interest.

Step 6: Start a Small Emergency Fund
While repaying debt is crucial, having a small emergency fund (around Rs 5,000–Rs 10,000) can help you avoid additional debt. This fund is for unexpected expenses like medical emergencies or car repairs.

Building a small emergency cushion ensures you don’t rely on credit if unplanned expenses arise. Once your debt is cleared, you can gradually build a larger emergency fund.

Step 7: Avoid Taking on New Debt
Avoid credit cards, loans, or any new debt until you’ve repaid the current amount. New debt will delay your goal of becoming debt-free.

Instead of borrowing, prioritize saving for any purchases. Practicing patience with spending decisions will help prevent additional debt.

Step 8: Automate and Regularize Payments
Set up automated payments for your debt EMIs and monthly bills. Automation helps prevent missed payments, which can incur penalties and hurt your credit score.

If automated payments aren’t possible, set reminders to ensure timely payments.

Step 9: Track Progress and Stay Motivated
Track your progress each month and celebrate small wins, such as reaching specific milestones in debt reduction.

Seeing your debt balance decrease, even gradually, can keep you motivated.

Step 10: Seek Professional Guidance If Needed
If you feel overwhelmed, consider seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). They can help you devise a structured plan tailored to your specific financial situation.

A CFP can also provide personalized advice on managing and reducing debt efficiently.

Finally
Your determination to achieve a debt-free life is commendable. By following these steps and staying disciplined, you’ll gradually pay off your debt and move toward financial freedom. Remember, small steps today will lead to a financially secure tomorrow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

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Dear sir/Ma'am, I want to invest long term mutual fund for my daughter marriage. She is now 15 years old and i want to invest for 10 years, please advised me which mutual fund best for me. My monthly investment amount is Rs. 5000.00/- please reply soon as soon possible.
Ans: Investing for your daughter's marriage is a thoughtful goal. With 10 years to grow your investment, mutual funds offer a practical approach to help achieve this objective. A disciplined investment of Rs 5000 per month can build a substantial corpus over time. Here’s a comprehensive guide to structuring this investment for long-term success.

Choosing the Right Type of Mutual Funds
For a 10-year horizon, equity mutual funds are suitable. They have the potential for higher returns over time. Considering a diversified mix of equity categories could balance growth with stability.

Equity-Oriented Funds: With their higher growth potential, equity funds can be ideal for long-term goals like marriage. Large-cap funds or diversified equity funds with a mix of large- and mid-cap investments can provide relative stability.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds: These funds allocate a portion to both equity and debt. This approach reduces risk while still capturing growth. Hybrid funds could be a good option to add stability.

Avoid Index Funds: While index funds are popular, they lack flexibility in managing market changes. Actively managed funds, however, allow fund managers to navigate market fluctuations, potentially offering higher returns.

Benefits of Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
When considering direct funds, you miss out on expert guidance, which is vital for long-term investments. Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensure you get continuous support, fund reviews, and performance tracking. They help rebalance your portfolio when required, maximizing your returns and managing risks effectively.

SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) for Steady Growth
Setting up a monthly SIP of Rs 5000 is a practical approach. SIPs allow you to invest consistently, regardless of market highs and lows, which averages out costs over time. This approach, known as “rupee cost averaging,” helps reduce the impact of volatility.

Tax Implications on Mutual Fund Investments
Understanding tax rules on mutual funds is important.

Equity Mutual Funds: Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh attract a 12.5% tax on Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG). Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both STCG and LTCG are taxed based on your income tax slab.

These tax rates are subject to change, so it’s crucial to monitor tax policies periodically. You may consult a tax advisor for updates and efficient tax planning.

Key Investment Tips to Reach Your Goal
Consistency: Stay disciplined with your SIPs to leverage compounding. Missing contributions can reduce the growth potential.

Regular Monitoring: Review fund performance at least once a year. This ensures the selected funds are meeting your expectations and objectives.

Professional Guidance: Consult a CFP periodically to align your investments with your financial plan. They can advise on any required adjustments to optimize your portfolio.

Adjusting for Inflation and Goal Cost
Over time, inflation will impact the cost of your daughter’s marriage. Your CFP can help you estimate the future value and adjust your SIP amount if needed. Gradually increasing the SIP amount can help you meet the target despite inflation.

Final Insights
Your commitment to this goal is commendable. By selecting the right mix of funds, maintaining discipline with SIPs, and staying informed on tax and fund performance, you’ll be well on your way to achieving the desired corpus for your daughter’s marriage.

Invest with confidence, plan regularly, and stay on track toward building a secure financial future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello! I am looking to change my career. Currently, I work as a DTP Operator and Graphic Designer in my maternal uncle's offsset printing press business. My father passed away 8 years ago, so my maternal uncle has taken on the responsibility of me, my mother, and my brother. I have been working under them for the past 5 years as a favor of them. However, there has been no financial growth or development in my current position. But maternal uncle asks me to continue to work with them as their childrens are out of their Offset Printing profession. So they expect me to handle the business in future. But this will not happen. Also I'm not sure of the future scope of Offset Printing Press profession due to digitization. Though my mind is telling me to change profession, as of my financial condtion is weak I would have to start again from zero. I am feeling unsure about what to do?
Ans: Hello.
Presently you are working as a DTP operator and Graphic Designer with your uncle. It seems that due to financial problems, your uncle might be taking undue advantage of your situation and taking it granted that you must work for him and his printing press as a bull for 24x7. You said, your uncle's children are not interested in running the printing press. Hence he is expecting to handle the business in the future. I think this is a golden time to negotiate with your uncle from a business point of view and put some terms and conditions in front of him. You must overtake the printing press fully in your control and share some part of the profit with him. Remember, you are young, have solid experience of 5 years and the most important thing is that, your uncle is not dependent on you only. This makes the situation in your favor. If your uncle is not ready to hand over the printing press business to you, then you have an option to search for another job and tell your uncle also in this regard. I can fairly say, your uncle will not think to lose you under any condition. In life, nothing is impossible, With the hands-on experience of 5 years, you may job in an advertising company and a reputed publishing house. Related to your insecurity feeling, even though you are working with your uncle, you are feeling insecure. Hence either force your uncle to accept your terms and conditions or leave him without any hesitation. Try with new people, new organizations, and new opportunities. A little change will make a big change in your life.
Best of luck for your bright future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship
I (27M) am well Educated & well settled in a High-paying Job. Tall, Handsome & Fit. I am a Sociable & Outgoing person, but I never had a Girlfriend because I believe in having an Arranged Marriage with a Girl from the same Community, who's Family background is known to Parents. I strongly believe in abstaining from any kind of Sexual Intimacy until I get Married, due to my Personal, Moral, Ethical, Emotional as well as Religious & Socio-cultural Values. I'd want to experience even my First Kiss, only after getting Married to my Life Partner. And obviously, I expect my Future Life Partner also to Share similar Values. I cannot settle for Marriage with a Girl who had Pre-marital Sex (or even Kissed) anyone else in a Romantic Relationship, prior to Marriage. I would Reject such a Girl, however Beautiful, Well-Educated & Well-Earning she might be (all other Qualities being Subjective). Now, my Family has started looking up suitable Brides for me, within my Community. The Problem is that most Girls of our Community, in this Generation, are Well Educated & Financially Independent, staying in Cities, away from Parents & most of them, probably had Romantic Relationship(s) & experienced Physical Intimacy, at any Base Level. I know this by closely observing & discussing with many Girls of my Community (including my Female Cousins, Female Friends & Neighbours etc). They all are ridiculing me for my Preferences & advising me to forsake my Values, as they are Outdated in this Age. Now, I am Worried that I might never get to Marry a Girl who shares my Values. My greatest Fear is not ending up Unmarried, but getting Married to a Woman who lies about her Past (I consider it as Cheating). Can you please advise me on, how can I be absolutely Sure that a Girl is an Un-Kissed Virgin? How do I bring up this topic with any Girl before Marriage & ask her, without coming off as Creepy? How can I be Sure whether the Girl is being absolutely Honest about her Past or not? What are some other ways to find out about the Past of a Girl, apart from having an open conversation with herself? Please advise me regarding this, my Heart is not letting me foresake my Values, which are my Core Principles. I am willing to compromise on some other Qualities i.e., I'd happily settle down with a Girl who's Below Average in terms of Looks, Education & even Unemployed, as long as I can be Sure that she's an Un-Kissed Virgin. How can I be absolutely Sure of that?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You don't have to forsake your values based on others' opinions of it. If it makes you happy, you should stick to it. Having said that, you cannot force the same values on others. I understand you want a partner who has a similar mindset. The only way to get what you want is an open conversation- when you speak to a match, you can open up about your outlook and clear it from your end that you want the exact same values in your partner and politely request them to reject the alliance if she has any past relationships or has been intimate with anyone in any form. Let her know that you are not judging her, but this part is very important for you. Make it about yourself, because it is. Do not let the woman feel that there is some flaw in her, or start investigating her past.

Now, coming to your other query, how to be absolutely sure that she is telling the truth about her experiences- there is no such technique. You have to trust her. Moreover, you should understand that as much as you believe your values are important, trust in your partner is equally important in having a healthy and happy relationship. While you work on finding the partner of your choice, work on having a little more faith in people.
Hope this helps.

Best Wishes

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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