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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Chirosunder Question by Chirosunder on Apr 22, 2024Hindi
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Sir/Mam, another answer i wanna get from you that if I want to invest rs.7500 for 12 years for getting pension 20 thousand per month through sip with swp then May i get 20k per month pension through out my life making a sip? If you give me a suggestion that how can I get 20k per month throughout my life by investing rs.7500 per month for 12 years.

Ans: Investing Rs.7500 monthly with the goal of securing a lifelong pension of Rs.20,000 requires careful planning. Using SIP with SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) can be a strategy, but longevity risk (outliving your savings) is a concern. To aim for a sustainable pension, consider a mix of growth-oriented and income-generating investments. However, achieving a consistent Rs.20,000 monthly payout from a Rs.7500 SIP in 12 years might be challenging. A more realistic approach might involve increasing your investment amount or extending the investment horizon.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 01, 2024Hindi
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I want to invested rs.9000 per month for 15 years to get a pension 25 thousand monthly. Where should I invested to Achieve my goal? If I do sip through swp then which fund will be good for me for achieving my goal?
Ans: To achieve your goal of receiving a monthly pension of 25,000 rupees after 15 years with an SIP investment of 9,000 rupees per month, we'll need to select suitable funds that offer growth potential while managing risk. Here's a suggested approach:

Investment Strategy:
Given your goal of creating a pension income, we'll focus on funds with a balanced approach that offer both growth potential and stability.
Investing in a combination of equity and debt funds can help optimize returns while managing risk over the long term.
Fund Selection:
Consider allocating your SIP investment across a mix of equity funds for growth potential and debt funds for stability.
Opt for funds with a track record of consistent performance and a strong portfolio management team.
SIP Through SWP:
You can structure your investment as an SIP followed by a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) to generate a regular income stream post-retirement.
Choose funds that offer the option for SWP and have historically provided steady returns with relatively low volatility.
Fund Recommendations:
For equity exposure, consider diversified equity funds or balanced advantage funds that invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks.
For debt exposure, opt for short to medium-term debt funds or hybrid funds with a significant allocation to debt securities.
Risk Management:
Given your investment horizon of 15 years, you can afford to take a moderate level of risk.
However, it's essential to periodically review your portfolio and adjust your asset allocation based on market conditions and your risk tolerance.
Professional Advice:
Consult with a financial advisor or Certified Financial Planner to tailor an investment strategy that aligns with your goals, risk profile, and investment horizon.
A professional can help you select suitable funds, monitor your portfolio's performance, and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards achieving your pension income goal.
By investing systematically and prudently over the long term, you can work towards building a corpus that will generate the desired monthly pension income of 25,000 rupees after 15 years. Remember to stay disciplined in your investment approach and regularly review your portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 43 years old. I am regular investor in SIP. I invest 2lacs per month in SIP. My fund value will be approximately 6.5 cr in 5 years. If I would like to retire at after 5 years and need approximately 3 lacs per month as SWP for 25 years.. Can you please let me know how many years i can sustain with 6.5 cr.? or how much 6.5cr will grow if i dont withdraw lumpsum but only SWP of 3 lacs per month for 25 years.? Thank you.
Ans: Evaluating Your Retirement Plan
Let's evaluate your plan to ensure financial stability during your retirement.

Current Investments
SIP Investment: Rs. 2 lakhs per month
Expected Fund Value in 5 Years: Rs. 6.5 crores
Retirement Plan
Monthly SWP Needed: Rs. 3 lakhs
Retirement Duration: 25 years
Sustaining Rs. 6.5 Crores with SWP
Assuming an average annual return of 7% on your investments post-retirement, let's calculate how long your corpus will sustain with a monthly SWP of Rs. 3 lakhs.

Calculating SWP Sustainability
Starting Corpus: Rs. 6.5 crores
Monthly Withdrawal: Rs. 3 lakhs
Annual Return: 7%
Using these parameters, we can estimate the duration your corpus will last.

Growth of Rs. 6.5 Crores with SWP
Corpus at Start: Rs. 6.5 crores
Annual Withdrawal: Rs. 36 lakhs (Rs. 3 lakhs x 12 months)
Annual Return on Remaining Corpus: 7%
The remaining corpus will continue to earn returns even as you withdraw funds. Let's see how it grows.

Insights and Recommendations
Sustainability: With a 7% return, your corpus can sustain for approximately 25 years with the monthly SWP of Rs. 3 lakhs.
Growth: The corpus will not only sustain but also grow, depending on the actual rate of return.
Detailed Calculation
Starting Corpus: Rs. 6.5 crores
Annual Return: 7%
Monthly Withdrawal: Rs. 3 lakhs
Yearly Breakdown (First Few Years)
Year 1: Starting Corpus = Rs. 6.5 crores

Annual Return = Rs. 6.5 crores * 7% = Rs. 45.5 lakhs
Withdrawal = Rs. 36 lakhs
End Corpus = Rs. 6.5 crores + Rs. 45.5 lakhs - Rs. 36 lakhs = Rs. 6.595 crores
Year 2: Starting Corpus = Rs. 6.595 crores

Annual Return = Rs. 6.595 crores * 7% = Rs. 46.165 lakhs
Withdrawal = Rs. 36 lakhs
End Corpus = Rs. 6.595 crores + Rs. 46.165 lakhs - Rs. 36 lakhs = Rs. 6.69115 crores
This pattern continues, showing how the corpus grows despite withdrawals, assuming a stable return.

Final Insights
Sustainable Plan: Your current plan is sustainable if the investments yield around 7% annually.
Monitoring: Regularly review and adjust your investments to maintain the desired returns.
Diversification: Ensure your investments are well-diversified to manage risks.
This plan should provide you with financial stability during retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 14, 2024

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Hi Sir, Good morning. Hi I am 43 years old. I am regular investor in SIP. I invest 2lacs per month in SIP. My fund value will be approximately 6.5 cr in 5 years. If I would like to retire at after 5 years and need approximately 3 lacs per month as SWP for 25 years.. Can you please let me know how many years i can sustain with 6.5 cr.? or how much 6.5cr will grow if i dont withdraw lumpsum but only SWP of 3 lacs per month for 25 years.? Thank you.
Ans: Based on your follow-up question, here's a concise analysis:

Future Value of SIP Investment:

If you invest Rs. 2 lakhs per month for the next 5 years and expect your corpus to grow to approximately Rs. 6.5 crores, this assumes an estimated annual return rate of about 12-15%.
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP):

You plan to withdraw Rs. 3 lakhs per month (which is Rs. 36 lakhs annually) for 25 years.
Sustainability Analysis:

Assuming an average annual return of 8% on your remaining corpus during the withdrawal phase:
After 25 years of withdrawing Rs. 3 lakhs per month, your corpus should ideally grow, considering that the returns may balance the withdrawals.
Using a financial calculator or retirement corpus calculator:

Initial Corpus: Rs. 6.5 crores
Monthly SWP: Rs. 3 lakhs (Rs. 36 lakhs annually)
Return Rate During Withdrawal: 8%
With the above parameters:

Your corpus of Rs. 6.5 crores can sustain the Rs. 3 lakhs monthly withdrawal for approximately 25 years while maintaining a positive balance due to the 8% return rate.
However, if the returns fluctuate or are lower, the sustainability period might reduce. It's always good to reassess periodically and adjust your withdrawals and investments accordingly.

Please consult a certified financial planner for customised plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi I am 44 years old and have 5 cr in FD,s , 1.5 cr in MF with over 1 lac monthly SIP investing in flexi cap , balanced fund , large caps, mid cap and small cap funds with an investment horizon of 10 years. Have 20 lacs in stocks , investing 7 lacs annually in annuity plan HDFC sanchay, and around 4 lacs in various insurance policies for tax free(ICICI and sriram) returns. Also I have started a sip(2k each ) for my 2 kids aged 5 and 12 in mid cap funds ..looking to increase this every year time horizon 30 years .. I would like to retire now and am looking at a swp of atleast 3-4 lacs per month after 6 years from my MF's. And annuity returns . Till that time my FD,s will also mature.. Would it be possible to earn 4 lacs through swp after 6 years...and I would like to build a corpus of around 30 cr after 15 years.. please suggest if I am on the right track.. Would it be possible to generate
Ans: Your current investments reflect thoughtful planning with multiple assets like mutual funds, FDs, annuities, and insurance. You are aiming for a substantial retirement corpus of Rs 30 crores and plan to generate a monthly income of Rs 3-4 lakhs through SWP in six years. Let's evaluate if you’re on track and explore recommendations to enhance your strategy.

1. Evaluating Your Mutual Fund Investments for SWP Needs
Your current SIPs are in flexi-cap, balanced, large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds, which align well with your growth and SWP goals. Here’s how these investments can work towards achieving your objectives:

High-Return Potential in Equity Funds: Over 10 years, your equity-oriented funds (large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap) can provide growth, supporting your monthly withdrawal goals.

Balanced Funds for Stability: Balanced funds add stability to your portfolio, reducing market volatility's impact on withdrawals.

Flexi-Cap Diversification: Flexi-cap funds enhance flexibility, adjusting across large, mid, and small-cap stocks as per market conditions.

2. Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Regular Monthly Income
Generating a SWP of Rs 3-4 lakhs after six years is achievable with a focused approach. Here’s a breakdown:

Establish a SWP Strategy: With a strong equity base, an SWP from your mutual funds can generate a monthly income. Reinvesting dividends or interest could further enhance your returns.

Aligning Fund Selection with SWP: Large-cap and balanced funds can be core SWP assets, as they are less volatile and provide stable growth.

Plan for Market Fluctuations: Market fluctuations could impact SWP withdrawals. You may consider moving a portion to debt funds closer to retirement for stability.

3. Increasing Your Kids' SIPs with Long-Term Vision
For your children, a 30-year horizon in mid-cap funds is promising. Increasing their SIPs regularly will amplify the impact of compounding:

Annual SIP Increase: Aim to raise the SIP amount yearly. Gradual increases, even by a few thousand rupees, can yield significant growth over 30 years.

Mid-Cap Growth Potential: Mid-cap funds can provide substantial returns over the long term. Diversifying with large-cap or flexi-cap funds could add stability.

Reinvestment in Tax-Efficient Funds: As your children reach different financial milestones, you can gradually move to tax-efficient funds or low-risk options for stability.

4. Reassessing Fixed Deposits and Annuities for Wealth Maximisation
Currently, a significant portion of your investments is in FDs and an annuity plan. Let’s evaluate the pros and cons of these investments:

Fixed Deposits for Short-Term Stability: FDs are stable but offer limited returns compared to mutual funds. Upon maturity, consider reinvesting in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds for higher growth potential.

Annuity Limitations: Annuity plans provide steady income but typically have lower returns. Since annuity returns are fixed, they may not keep up with inflation over the long term.

Shifting Focus to Equity Mutual Funds: Reinvesting your FD maturity and annuity corpus into mutual funds could help you achieve your Rs 30 crore target faster.

5. Optimising Insurance Plans for Better Returns
Your insurance plans provide tax-free returns, but it’s essential to assess whether they align with your overall goals. Here’s a perspective on your ICICI and Shriram policies:

Limited Growth in Traditional Insurance: Traditional insurance offers tax-free returns but often has limited growth potential.

Consider Surrendering for Higher Growth: If these policies underperform compared to mutual funds, you may consider surrendering them. Reinvesting in mutual funds could yield higher long-term returns.

Insurance for Protection, Not Investment: Moving towards term insurance for coverage and mutual funds for investment may be a more effective approach.

6. Building a Rs 30 Crore Corpus Over the Next 15 Years
Achieving a Rs 30 crore corpus in 15 years will require a strategic blend of high-growth investments. Here’s a suggested approach:

Focus on Equity Funds for Growth: Equity funds, especially mid and small-cap, can accelerate your portfolio growth. Increasing SIPs over time will enhance your corpus.

Reinvest Maturity Proceeds: As your FDs mature, reinvest them into equity and balanced mutual funds to benefit from compounding.

Balance with Debt Funds in Later Years: As you near your goal, gradually move funds to debt mutual funds. This will reduce risk and protect the corpus for withdrawal.

7. Disadvantages of Index Funds and Direct Plans
Although index funds and direct funds are popular, there are better options for your high-growth goals:

Index Funds’ Growth Limitation: Index funds simply track the market and don’t aim for higher returns. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, can outpace the market.

Direct Plans Lack Professional Guidance: With direct plans, there’s no personalised guidance. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures regular monitoring and timely adjustments.

8. Tax Considerations on Mutual Fund Withdrawals
Tax-efficient planning is essential for maximising SWP returns:

Equity Fund Taxation: For equity mutual funds, LTCG over Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. STCG is taxed at 20%. Plan withdrawals to stay within these limits for minimal tax impact.

Debt Fund Taxation: Debt mutual funds are taxed according to your tax slab. Using a mix of debt and equity can balance returns with lower taxes.

Final Insights
Your diversified portfolio places you on a solid path to a secure retirement and wealth creation. Increasing SIPs for your kids, reinvesting maturing FDs, and focusing on mutual funds over insurance and annuities will strengthen your approach. Working closely with a Certified Financial Planner will keep your investments aligned with your Rs 30 crore goal, ensuring a steady retirement income and lasting legacy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Pushpa

Pushpa R  |37 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Dec 27, 2024

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I HAVE CONSTIPACATION PROBLEM WICH AASAN RELIVE FROM THIS PROBLEM
Ans: Constipation can be uncomfortable, but yoga is an excellent way to stimulate digestion and relieve this issue. Here are some simple asanas you can try regularly to help improve bowel movements:

1. Pavanamuktasana (Wind-Relieving Pose)
Lie on your back and bring one knee to your chest, holding it with your hands.
Press your knee gently into your abdomen while keeping the other leg straight.
Switch legs and repeat, or do both knees together.
This pose massages your abdominal organs and promotes digestion.
2. Marjaryasana-Bitilasana (Cat-Cow Pose)
Begin on all fours.
As you inhale, arch your back (Cow Pose) and look up.
As you exhale, round your back (Cat Pose) and tuck your chin to your chest.
Repeat slowly for 8-10 breaths to massage your digestive organs and improve gut motility.
3. Malasana (Garland Pose)
Squat down with your feet wide apart and palms together at your chest.
Keep your spine straight and hold this pose for a few breaths.
This pose helps open up the pelvic area, aiding digestion and elimination.
4. Paschimottanasana (Seated Forward Bend)
Sit with your legs straight and bend forward from your hips, reaching for your toes.
This stretches the abdominal area and stimulates digestion.
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Drink plenty of water and include fiber-rich foods in your diet.
Practice these poses daily, but avoid forcing your body into any position.
If constipation persists, consult a doctor and consider working with a yoga coach for personalized guidance.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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