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What are the best mutual funds for a 73-year-old investor?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8125 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 03, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Matta Question by Matta on Aug 30, 2024Hindi
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Money

I am age of 73, we are invest in Mutual fund for 5 years, which fund is better my age. please advise

Ans: At 73, your investment choices should focus on safety and income. While mutual funds can offer growth, it’s crucial to balance them with safety. This ensures that your investment aligns with your age and risk tolerance. Let’s explore the best approach for your situation.

Investment Objectives
Preserve Capital: Protecting your principal amount should be a priority. At your age, avoiding significant losses is essential.

Generate Regular Income: Your investments should provide regular income to meet your expenses.

Limited Exposure to Risk: It’s advisable to limit exposure to high-risk investments.

Potential for Growth: While safety is key, moderate growth can help keep up with inflation.

Risk Management
Lower-Risk Funds: It’s better to avoid high-risk funds. Look for funds with a conservative approach.

Asset Allocation: A balanced approach with more allocation to debt funds can offer stability.

Regular Monitoring: Keep an eye on your investments. Ensure they are performing as expected.

Advantages of Professional Management
Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed funds can adjust to market conditions. A certified financial planner (CFP) can help you choose the right ones.

Professional Guidance: Investing through a mutual fund distributor (MFD) with CFP credentials ensures you get expert advice. They can help you pick funds that match your goals.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Lack of Guidance: Direct funds cut out the middleman. While it may save on costs, it can lead to poor choices without expert advice.

Time-Consuming: Managing direct funds requires constant monitoring. At 73, this can be challenging.

Missed Opportunities: A CFP can identify better opportunities. Direct funds may lead to missed chances for better returns.

Why Regular Funds are Better
Expert Advice: Regular funds come with advice from a CFP. This ensures your investments are well-planned.

Easier Management: You don’t have to monitor funds constantly. The CFP will do this for you.

Better Fund Selection: A CFP can choose funds that align with your goals and risk tolerance.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Limited Flexibility: Index funds follow a market index. They can’t adapt to changing market conditions.

No Professional Management: Index funds are passively managed. They lack the expertise of an active fund manager.

Underperformance: In volatile markets, index funds may underperform. Actively managed funds can better navigate these conditions.

Importance of Debt Funds
Stability: Debt funds offer stability. They invest in safer assets like government bonds and corporate debt.

Regular Income: Many debt funds provide regular payouts. This can be a reliable source of income.

Lower Risk: Debt funds are less volatile than equity funds. This makes them suitable for your age.

Benefits of Hybrid Funds
Balanced Approach: Hybrid funds invest in both debt and equity. This offers a balanced risk-return profile.

Income and Growth: They can provide both regular income and potential for growth.

Flexibility: Hybrid funds can adjust their asset allocation based on market conditions. This makes them adaptable to changing needs.

Equity Exposure
Limited but Essential: While equity funds are riskier, a small portion can help in beating inflation.

Focus on Large-Cap Funds: If you consider equity, large-cap funds are less risky. They invest in established companies with stable performance.

Diversification
Reduce Risk: Diversification spreads risk across different assets. This is crucial to protect your investment.

Mix of Funds: A mix of debt, hybrid, and a small portion of equity funds can provide a balanced portfolio.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Periodic Review: It’s important to review your investments regularly. A CFP can help you do this effectively.

Rebalancing: Adjust your portfolio as needed. This ensures it remains aligned with your goals and market conditions.

Final Insights
Consult a Certified Financial Planner: At 73, expert guidance is vital. A CFP can tailor an investment plan that meets your needs.

Focus on Stability and Income: Prioritize investments that offer stability and regular income.

Limit Risk: Avoid high-risk investments. Focus on funds that align with your risk tolerance.

Use Professional Management: Investing through a CFP and MFD ensures you get expert advice. This can help you achieve your financial goals.

Diversify and Rebalance: Diversify your portfolio to spread risk. Regularly review and rebalance to keep it on track.

Invest wisely to enjoy a secure and comfortable future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2024Hindi
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I am 63 years old retired gov employee. I want to invest in mutual fund around rs 6000. Which one is best mf
Ans: It's commendable that you're thinking about investing at 63. Here's why choosing the "best" mutual fund might not be the answer, and how a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help:

Understanding Your Needs:

Retirement Goal: Your investment goal is likely to generate income and preserve your capital. You might have a lower risk tolerance than someone younger.
Role of a CFP:

Personalized Plan: A CFP can consider your retirement income needs, risk tolerance, and existing investments to create a suitable investment plan.

Asset Allocation: They can recommend an asset allocation with a mix of equity and debt funds. Equity funds can offer growth potential, while debt funds provide stability and income. Actively managed funds involve experienced fund managers who try to pick stocks to outperform the market. Actively managed funds come with higher fees compared to passively managed funds.

Benefits of a CFP:

Expert Guidance: They can suggest a variety of mutual funds based on your risk profile and goals.

Ongoing Support: A CFP can monitor your portfolio and make adjustments as needed to keep it aligned with your evolving needs.

Here's Why "One-Size-Fits-All" Doesn't Work:

Risk Tolerance: A younger investor might handle higher risk for potential growth, while you might prioritize capital preservation.

Investment Goals: Your goal is likely income generation, while someone saving for a house might have a different investment horizon.

Remember:

SIP is a Smart Way to Invest: Consider a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) to invest a fixed amount regularly. Rs. 6,000 per month is a great start!

Review Regularly: Review your portfolio with your CFP (at least annually) to ensure it remains on track.

By consulting a CFP, you can get a personalized plan and potentially invest in a well-diversified portfolio that aligns with your retirement goals!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8125 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 20, 2024

Money
Iam of 73 years, almost all we are retired life all Childrens are settle in US, some amount invested in S G B earlier. we are having money in hand, presently we are proposing to invest in Mutual fund GIVE ME YOUR ADVICE PLEASE, WHICH FUND IS SUTABLE TO MY AGE GROUP we are waiting you advise
Ans: At 73, you’ve entered a phase where capital preservation, income generation, and moderate growth should be your primary financial goals. It’s wonderful to hear that your children are settled in the US and that you’re looking to manage your finances effectively for a comfortable retirement.

Let’s explore your options from a 360-degree perspective.

Key Considerations for Your Age Group
When planning investments at your age, the following factors should guide your decisions:

Capital Preservation: At this stage, it’s essential to protect the principal amount while generating a steady income. High-risk investments are not advisable as they could lead to potential losses, which might be difficult to recover from.

Steady Income: Your investments should provide a reliable income stream to support your day-to-day needs and medical expenses, ensuring a comfortable lifestyle without financial stress.

Moderate Growth: While capital preservation is key, a portion of your portfolio can be allocated to low-risk, growth-oriented investments. This ensures that your money grows and keeps pace with inflation over time.

Liquidity: Your investments should be easily accessible in case of emergencies. This means avoiding lock-in periods and choosing funds with easy exit options.

Health and Longevity: Given the rising cost of healthcare, it’s prudent to consider potential medical expenses. Your investments should support you through any unexpected health-related financial needs.

Estate Planning: If you wish to leave a legacy for your children or grandchildren, your investment strategy should align with those goals. This might involve choosing funds that can be easily transferred or liquidated by your heirs.

Why Mutual Funds Are Suitable for Your Situation
Mutual funds offer a variety of benefits that align well with your financial needs at this stage of life:

Diversification: Mutual funds spread your money across a wide range of assets, reducing risk. This is crucial for protecting your capital.

Professional Management: Mutual funds are managed by experienced professionals who make informed decisions on where to invest your money. This is particularly useful if you prefer not to manage your investments actively.

Income Generation: Certain mutual funds are designed to generate regular income, which can be beneficial for your day-to-day expenses.

Flexibility and Liquidity: Mutual funds can be easily liquidated if you need access to your money, ensuring that your investments remain flexible.

Suitable Types of Mutual Funds for Your Age Group
Given your age and financial goals, the following types of mutual funds might be suitable for you:

1. Conservative Hybrid Funds
These funds invest in a mix of debt and equity, with a higher allocation to debt.

They offer moderate returns with lower risk compared to pure equity funds.

This balance ensures some growth while protecting your capital.

Monthly or quarterly dividend options can provide regular income.

2. Debt Mutual Funds
Debt funds invest in fixed-income instruments like government bonds, corporate bonds, and treasury bills.

They are less volatile and focus on generating steady returns.

Short-term debt funds can provide liquidity if you need access to your money on short notice.

Long-term debt funds might offer better returns but come with slightly higher interest rate risks.

3. Senior Citizen Saving Schemes (SCSS) and Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS)
While not mutual funds, these government-backed schemes offer safety and regular income.

You might consider allocating a portion of your funds to SCSS or POMIS for guaranteed returns and capital protection.

These schemes provide regular payouts, which can supplement your income needs.

4. Monthly Income Plans (MIPs)
MIPs are hybrid funds that invest primarily in debt instruments with a small equity component.

They aim to provide a regular income, usually on a monthly basis, making them suitable for retirees.

However, the equity portion might introduce some risk, so it's essential to choose MIPs with a conservative equity allocation.

Avoiding High-Risk Investments
At 73, it’s important to avoid high-risk investments that can erode your capital. Here’s why:

Equity Funds: While equity funds offer higher returns, they are volatile and can lead to losses during market downturns. These are not suitable for your primary investment strategy at this stage.

Direct Equity Investments: Investing directly in stocks requires active management and comes with significant risks. It's better to let professionals handle your investments through mutual funds.

High-Expense Funds: Avoid funds with high expense ratios, as they can eat into your returns. Instead, focus on funds with low management fees that still offer professional management.

The Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds are passively managed, meaning they track a market index like the Nifty 50. However, they may not be the best choice for someone in your situation. Here’s why:

Lack of Flexibility: Index funds cannot adjust their holdings during market downturns. This lack of flexibility can lead to losses that are difficult to recover from, especially if the market takes a downturn.

Lower Customization: Index funds are designed for the average investor, not for someone with specific needs like yours. Actively managed funds can be tailored to provide a more suitable risk-return balance.

Less Focus on Income: Index funds generally focus on growth rather than income generation. You need investments that provide regular payouts to support your retirement.

The Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
Investing in regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) has several advantages, especially for retirees:

Expert Guidance: A CFP can help you choose funds that align with your financial goals and risk tolerance. This is especially important at your age, where the wrong investment choice can have serious consequences.

Comprehensive Planning: CFPs provide holistic advice, considering all aspects of your financial life, including retirement planning, estate planning, and tax efficiency.

Regular Monitoring: Your financial planner will regularly review your portfolio, ensuring that it remains aligned with your goals and market conditions. This is something direct investors may overlook.

Access to a Broader Range of Funds: Some mutual funds are only available through advisors and may offer features better suited to retirees.

Additional Financial Planning Tips
Here are some additional tips to help you manage your finances effectively in retirement:

1. Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an emergency fund equivalent to at least 6-12 months of living expenses.

This should be kept in a safe and liquid investment like a savings account or short-term debt fund.

This fund will help you handle unexpected expenses without dipping into your main investments.

2. Health Insurance
Review your health insurance coverage to ensure it’s adequate.

Consider topping up your existing policy or purchasing a senior citizen health insurance plan.

Rising medical costs can quickly deplete your savings, so it’s crucial to have sufficient coverage.

3. Estate Planning
Consider setting up a will or trust to ensure that your assets are distributed according to your wishes.

Discuss your estate planning needs with a legal professional to ensure everything is in order.

This step will give you peace of mind and make things easier for your heirs.

4. Tax Efficiency
Work with your CFP to structure your investments in a tax-efficient manner.

This might involve using tax-saving schemes or choosing funds that offer tax benefits.

Minimizing your tax burden will help you preserve more of your capital for your needs.

Final Insights
Investing wisely in retirement is crucial to ensuring a comfortable and secure future. At your age, the focus should be on capital preservation, steady income, and moderate growth. Mutual funds, particularly conservative hybrid and debt funds, can offer a balanced approach to achieving these goals. Working with a Certified Financial Planner ensures that your investments are tailored to your unique needs, helping you make the most of your money while minimizing risks.

Remember, the key to successful investing in retirement is a balanced approach that protects your capital while providing for your needs. With careful planning and the right guidance, you can enjoy a worry-free retirement, knowing that your finances are in good hands.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8125 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 20, 2024

Money
Iam of 73 years, almost all we are retired life all Childrens are settle in US, some amount invested in S G B earlier. we are having money in hand, presently we are proposing to invest in Mutual fund GIVE ME YOUR ADVICE PLEASE, WHICH FUND IS SUTABLE TO MY AGE GROUP we are waiting you advise
Ans: At 73, you’ve entered a phase where capital preservation, income generation, and moderate growth should be your primary financial goals. It’s wonderful to hear that your children are settled in the US and that you’re looking to manage your finances effectively for a comfortable retirement.

Let’s explore your options from a 360-degree perspective.

Key Considerations for Your Age Group
When planning investments at your age, the following factors should guide your decisions:

Capital Preservation: At this stage, it’s essential to protect the principal amount while generating a steady income. High-risk investments are not advisable as they could lead to potential losses, which might be difficult to recover from.

Steady Income: Your investments should provide a reliable income stream to support your day-to-day needs and medical expenses, ensuring a comfortable lifestyle without financial stress.

Moderate Growth: While capital preservation is key, a portion of your portfolio can be allocated to low-risk, growth-oriented investments. This ensures that your money grows and keeps pace with inflation over time.

Liquidity: Your investments should be easily accessible in case of emergencies. This means avoiding lock-in periods and choosing funds with easy exit options.

Health and Longevity: Given the rising cost of healthcare, it’s prudent to consider potential medical expenses. Your investments should support you through any unexpected health-related financial needs.

Estate Planning: If you wish to leave a legacy for your children or grandchildren, your investment strategy should align with those goals. This might involve choosing funds that can be easily transferred or liquidated by your heirs.

Why Mutual Funds Are Suitable for Your Situation
Mutual funds offer a variety of benefits that align well with your financial needs at this stage of life:

Diversification: Mutual funds spread your money across a wide range of assets, reducing risk. This is crucial for protecting your capital.

Professional Management: Mutual funds are managed by experienced professionals who make informed decisions on where to invest your money. This is particularly useful if you prefer not to manage your investments actively.

Income Generation: Certain mutual funds are designed to generate regular income, which can be beneficial for your day-to-day expenses.

Flexibility and Liquidity: Mutual funds can be easily liquidated if you need access to your money, ensuring that your investments remain flexible.

Suitable Types of Mutual Funds for Your Age Group
Given your age and financial goals, the following types of mutual funds might be suitable for you:

1. Conservative Hybrid Funds
These funds invest in a mix of debt and equity, with a higher allocation to debt.

They offer moderate returns with lower risk compared to pure equity funds.

This balance ensures some growth while protecting your capital.

Monthly or quarterly dividend options can provide regular income.

2. Debt Mutual Funds
Debt funds invest in fixed-income instruments like government bonds, corporate bonds, and treasury bills.

They are less volatile and focus on generating steady returns.

Short-term debt funds can provide liquidity if you need access to your money on short notice.

Long-term debt funds might offer better returns but come with slightly higher interest rate risks.

3. Senior Citizen Saving Schemes (SCSS) and Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS)
While not mutual funds, these government-backed schemes offer safety and regular income.

You might consider allocating a portion of your funds to SCSS or POMIS for guaranteed returns and capital protection.

These schemes provide regular payouts, which can supplement your income needs.

4. Monthly Income Plans (MIPs)
MIPs are hybrid funds that invest primarily in debt instruments with a small equity component.

They aim to provide a regular income, usually on a monthly basis, making them suitable for retirees.

However, the equity portion might introduce some risk, so it's essential to choose MIPs with a conservative equity allocation.

Avoiding High-Risk Investments
At 73, it’s important to avoid high-risk investments that can erode your capital. Here’s why:

Equity Funds: While equity funds offer higher returns, they are volatile and can lead to losses during market downturns. These are not suitable for your primary investment strategy at this stage.

Direct Equity Investments: Investing directly in stocks requires active management and comes with significant risks. It's better to let professionals handle your investments through mutual funds.

High-Expense Funds: Avoid funds with high expense ratios, as they can eat into your returns. Instead, focus on funds with low management fees that still offer professional management.

The Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds are passively managed, meaning they track a market index like the Nifty 50. However, they may not be the best choice for someone in your situation. Here’s why:

Lack of Flexibility: Index funds cannot adjust their holdings during market downturns. This lack of flexibility can lead to losses that are difficult to recover from, especially if the market takes a downturn.

Lower Customization: Index funds are designed for the average investor, not for someone with specific needs like yours. Actively managed funds can be tailored to provide a more suitable risk-return balance.

Less Focus on Income: Index funds generally focus on growth rather than income generation. You need investments that provide regular payouts to support your retirement.

The Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
Investing in regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) has several advantages, especially for retirees:

Expert Guidance: A CFP can help you choose funds that align with your financial goals and risk tolerance. This is especially important at your age, where the wrong investment choice can have serious consequences.

Comprehensive Planning: CFPs provide holistic advice, considering all aspects of your financial life, including retirement planning, estate planning, and tax efficiency.

Regular Monitoring: Your financial planner will regularly review your portfolio, ensuring that it remains aligned with your goals and market conditions. This is something direct investors may overlook.

Access to a Broader Range of Funds: Some mutual funds are only available through advisors and may offer features better suited to retirees.

Additional Financial Planning Tips
Here are some additional tips to help you manage your finances effectively in retirement:

1. Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an emergency fund equivalent to at least 6-12 months of living expenses.

This should be kept in a safe and liquid investment like a savings account or short-term debt fund.

This fund will help you handle unexpected expenses without dipping into your main investments.

2. Health Insurance
Review your health insurance coverage to ensure it’s adequate.

Consider topping up your existing policy or purchasing a senior citizen health insurance plan.

Rising medical costs can quickly deplete your savings, so it’s crucial to have sufficient coverage.

3. Estate Planning
Consider setting up a will or trust to ensure that your assets are distributed according to your wishes.

Discuss your estate planning needs with a legal professional to ensure everything is in order.

This step will give you peace of mind and make things easier for your heirs.

4. Tax Efficiency
Work with your CFP to structure your investments in a tax-efficient manner.

This might involve using tax-saving schemes or choosing funds that offer tax benefits.

Minimizing your tax burden will help you preserve more of your capital for your needs.

Final Insights
Investing wisely in retirement is crucial to ensuring a comfortable and secure future. At your age, the focus should be on capital preservation, steady income, and moderate growth. Mutual funds, particularly conservative hybrid and debt funds, can offer a balanced approach to achieving these goals. Working with a Certified Financial Planner ensures that your investments are tailored to your unique needs, helping you make the most of your money while minimizing risks.

Remember, the key to successful investing in retirement is a balanced approach that protects your capital while providing for your needs. With careful planning and the right guidance, you can enjoy a worry-free retirement, knowing that your finances are in good hands.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |2133 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Mar 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2025Hindi
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Career
Sir, what is the difference between IITs and NITs? Do you think IIITs are better than IITs? Can you please explain and elaborate? Thank you in advance.
Ans: Hello
I would like to mention specifically that IITs have no comparison. IIT-JEE is considered as one of the toughest exam across the globe & hence IITs are the best. Now coming to comparing NIT Vs IIIT, in my view I have considered following points:

IIITs (Indian Institutes of Information Technology) are often considered better than NITs (National Institutes of Technology) for Computer Science and allied courses (like IT, AI, Data Science, etc.) due to several factors.

1. Core Focus on Computer Science & IT
IIITs are dedicated to IT & CS fields, while NITs offer a broad range of engineering disciplines.
Due to this focus, IIITs often have better faculty, research opportunities, and industry collaborations in CS-related fields.
Many IIITs are industry-driven, ensuring that their curriculum is updated with modern technologies like AI, ML, Blockchain, and Cloud Computing.

2. Stronger Industry Connections & Placements
IIITs, especially top ones like IIIT Hyderabad, IIIT Bangalore, and IIIT Delhi, have excellent industry relations.
Companies like Google, Microsoft, Amazon, and Adobe prefer IIITs over most NITs for software roles due to their specialized training.
IIIT Hyderabad, for example, has one of the highest average packages for CSE among engineering colleges in India, even competing with IITs.

3. Better Coding Culture & Research in CS Fields
IIITs have a very strong coding culture, with students excelling in competitive programming (Google Code Jam, ACM ICPC) and hackathons.
They also focus heavily on research and innovation in CS, contributing to AI, ML, and Data Science research worldwide.
IIIT Hyderabad, in particular, has research centers (CVIT, ML Lab, Blockchain Lab, etc.) that rival global universities.

4. Flexible & Modern Curriculum
IIITs usually have a more flexible curriculum, allowing students to take electives in trending areas like AI, Cybersecurity, and Data Science.
Some IIITs have no strict branch system, allowing students to focus on multiple CS fields.
In contrast, NITs follow a more traditional curriculum, which may not be as updated for CS innovations.


5. Higher Coding & Competitive Programming Rankings
IIIT students often dominate Google Summer of Code (GSoC), ACM ICPC, and CodeForces rankings.
IIIT Hyderabad, IIIT Allahabad, and IIIT Delhi are known for their strong competitive coding culture, often outperforming NITs.


When NITs Might Be a Better Option
While IIITs are excellent for CS, there are some cases where an NIT might be preferable:

If considering a non-CS branch, NITs are better because IIITs mainly focus on CS and related fields.
Top NITs like NIT Trichy, NIT Surathkal, and NIT Warangal have excellent placements in CSE, sometimes better than newer IIITs.
NITs have a stronger alumni network, which can help in diverse career opportunities.
NITs offer better campus life and infrastructure, as IIITs often have smaller campuses.

For CSE & allied courses, top IIITs like IIIT Hyderabad, IIIT Delhi, and IIIT Bangalore are usually a better choice than most NITs due to their strong coding culture, placements, research, and industry collaborations. However, for overall campus life, government funding, and non-CS branches, top NITs might be preferable.

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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) recently got engaged to my Fiancee (27F) & shared the Photos of our Engagement on Instagram, wherein they were noticed by an old friend of mine. He recognised my Fiancee & told me some things about her, which startled me. When she was in the Final Year of Engineering, she got an Internship Opportunity in a Reputed MNC, where my Friend was also working. At her Office, most of the Employees & Interns were Male & she was one of the very few Females. Her Manager was a Middle Aged Divorcee. He had offered her a Permanent Job at the Company, after her Internship, in exchange for Sexual Intimacy. Apparently, she had given in & everyone at her Office was aware of the Affair between her & her Boss. Initially, I assumed this to be a Rumour, but still wanted to clarify this with her, even though, I had no Proof except his word of mouth. When I Questioned her, she admitted that, it was indeed the Truth that she had slept with her Boss for her Career Growth. But she also tried to Justify herself, saying that she was a Young & Naive Fresher at that time & the Offer seemed quite Tempting as her Family was going through Financial Difficulties at that point of time. But she also went on to add her narrative that the Affair lasted for just 2 years. During that time, she also used to suffer from Sexual Harassment from other Male Colleagues, as they had assumed that she was an 'Easily Available' kind of Girl who'd sleep with anyone & she had a Hard time, resisting their Sexual Advances. Apparently, my Old Friend was also among those who were trying to Bed her. But she quit working at that Company, as soon as, she got a better offer in another Company, without having to make any Sexual Compromise & since then she'd been working hard for her Career Growth & had never done anything Immoral or Unethical again. Hearing all these things about my Fiancee & my Old Friend, disturbed me greatly. But my Fiancee didn't seem to have any Regrets as she believes that all of it was her Past, which happened more than 5 years ago & it doesn't affect her Present or our Future, in any way. She also reassured me that she would be a Loyal Wife to me after Marriage & would never Sleep with anyone else, under any circumstances. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should Trust my Fiancee & take a Huge Leap of Faith, by going ahead with the Marriage, as planned, or should I call off the Wedding & try to find some other Woman with a Decent Character? Please advise me.
Ans: 1. Should you trust her as a person - going by what she has said, you should as she has been honest and shared everything with you

2. And if she says she does not have any regrets, more power to her - how will having regrets and feeling guilty justify.

3. We all make mistakes and she did what she did as she was 'single' she did not cheat anyone

4. As for you wanting to marry her or not is your decision...remember you both need to invest in the relationship daily and cannot/should not bring up the past even in disagreements - this is important for you to understand.

All the best in whatever decision you make.

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025Hindi
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I am 28 and now my parents are constantly poking me for marriage. It's not like I don't want to get married. I want to but a part of me is also scared. It's not just a new thing for me, being an introvert and a nerd, I never had that much interaction with females in school and college and having worked from home for 5 years now, I barely interacted with anybody from the office either. So I am an extreme noob when it comes to flirting or mixing with girls. My point is, I don't smoke and drink and I would expect the same from my partner. I see my friends smoking, drinking to their fullest and passing out, their male friends holding them by the waist and shoulders and helping them walk, they are staying back at their male best friend's house or going back home late at 2 o'clock in the night... I don't know if that's right or wrong but I am not used to such life. So I would hope my partner stays out of these things. But I don't have a single person in my friend circle who doesn't smoke and drink. So it makes me wonder if at all there are women who refrain from these addictions! What if she turns out to be a gold digger? What if she marries me and after a year, slams fake cases on me and my family and demands a heavy alimony? I would be shattered. I know women have fears too - what if the man turns out to be violent and thrashes her up! We men also have the same fears. Arranged marriage is scary and is a game of luck. Not that love marriage is any better; even though you think you know the other person inside out, the cat comes out of the box only after marriage. I am confused. Can you guide me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand where your concerns stem from; and just like you said, women have equal concerns, if not more. But look at all the marriages around you- are they all bad? I would say focus on the good things. And about smoking and drinking- people have their own preferences. Some like it and some don't. I am sure there are many women who are dead against any form of addiction and they can be a good match for you. Having said it all, I would also like to say that you should not get married till you are mentally prepared for it. If it scares you so much right now, it would not be the right decision to get involved with someone and end up projecting your fears on them and doubting them for no reason. Take your time and observe other relationships- see the happy side of it and try to gauge if you want that. I would also say that love marriage might work better for you, because it will have slightly less "surprise element" to it.
But again, do not rush. Let it happen organically. You are only 28.
Hope this helps

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