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Is Rs 4.65 Cr Enough to Retire at 53 with Monthly Expenses of Rs 2.5 Lakh?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Kant Question by Kant on Sep 24, 2024Hindi
Money

My age is 53, I am planning to retire by March 2025, I have 2cr invested in Mutual filings, 2cr FD, 45 lakhs in post office. 25 lakhs in Jeevan Shanti, getting 12250 per month. 50 lakhs in saving Having own house, I need 2.5 lakhs per month. Please advise my retirement plans

Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Position
You have done a commendable job accumulating a variety of investments as you approach retirement. Your current assets include:

Rs 2 crore invested in mutual funds
Rs 2 crore in fixed deposits
Rs 45 lakhs in post office schemes
Rs 25 lakhs in Jeevan Shanti, providing Rs 12,250 per month
Rs 50 lakhs in savings
You own your house, so no rent or loan obligations
Your monthly requirement is Rs 2.5 lakhs, and you plan to retire by March 2025. Let’s assess how to structure these investments to generate the income you need, while ensuring financial security throughout your retirement.

Financial Goals: Retirement Income of Rs 2.5 Lakhs Per Month
To meet your monthly requirement of Rs 2.5 lakhs, we need to carefully plan your investment portfolio for steady cash flow and long-term sustainability. Given your age and investment horizon, a balanced approach with a mix of growth and income-generating assets will be key.

Your current financial assets can generate a comfortable income stream with the right strategy. Let’s go over each asset class and plan the optimal way to structure them.

Evaluating Your Investments
1. Mutual Funds (Rs 2 Crore)
You have Rs 2 crore invested in mutual funds. Mutual funds can be a strong source of income in retirement, but the type of funds matters. Actively managed mutual funds with a focus on generating regular income or hybrid funds can provide both growth and income.

Regular Withdrawal Plan: A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) can be set up to generate regular income from your mutual fund investments. SWP allows you to withdraw a fixed amount every month, providing liquidity while keeping your capital invested and growing.

Review Fund Types: Ensure that your mutual fund investments are diversified into funds that offer a balance between equity for growth and debt for stability. Large-cap and hybrid funds can offer this balance, helping you manage risk while still achieving returns that beat inflation.

Avoid relying solely on index funds or direct funds. Actively managed funds will give better returns in a volatile market because of professional oversight.

2. Fixed Deposits (Rs 2 Crore)
Your Rs 2 crore in fixed deposits provides stability, but the returns may not be enough to keep pace with inflation. Over time, the real value of this money could diminish.

Partial Reallocation for Higher Returns: Consider shifting a portion of your fixed deposit into balanced or conservative mutual funds. This will help increase returns while still maintaining safety. For example, you can allocate part of this into a debt-oriented mutual fund for consistent, inflation-beating returns.

Fixed Deposit Laddering: If you prefer keeping some portion in FDs, you can create a "ladder" by investing in FDs of different maturities. This strategy will help you manage liquidity needs while maximising returns.

3. Post Office Investments (Rs 45 Lakhs)
Your Rs 45 lakhs in post office schemes is another safe investment, and it’s advisable to retain these for their risk-free nature.

Retain for Stability: Post office schemes like Senior Citizen Saving Scheme (SCSS) and Monthly Income Scheme (MIS) are excellent for retirees. They provide a steady monthly income and are relatively safe. Continue holding these for the fixed monthly income.
4. Jeevan Shanti Policy (Rs 12,250 Per Month)
The Jeevan Shanti policy provides you with Rs 12,250 per month. This is a good start, but it covers only a small portion of your monthly needs.

Income Supplement: The monthly income from Jeevan Shanti can be used to cover smaller recurring expenses. However, you will still need additional income from your other investments to meet your Rs 2.5 lakh monthly requirement.
5. Savings (Rs 50 Lakhs)
You have Rs 50 lakhs in savings. While it’s good to have liquidity, savings accounts offer low returns and are not ideal for long-term goals.

Emergency Fund: Keep a portion of this Rs 50 lakhs (around 6 to 12 months of expenses) as an emergency fund in a savings account or liquid fund. This will cover any sudden or unforeseen expenses.

Reinvest Excess Savings: Any excess over the emergency fund can be reallocated to growth-oriented investments like balanced mutual funds or senior citizen savings schemes. This will provide better returns while maintaining access to the funds when needed.

Structuring Your Retirement Income
You need to generate Rs 2.5 lakh monthly, and here’s how your portfolio can be structured:

Jeevan Shanti Income: Rs 12,250 per month

Post Office Schemes: You can generate additional fixed monthly income from the Rs 45 lakhs invested here. SCSS or MIS can provide you with regular payouts.

This should cover a portion of your Rs 2.5 lakh requirement, but the remaining will need to come from your mutual funds and FD portfolio.

Strategy for Monthly Cash Flow
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Set up an SWP from your mutual fund investments. With Rs 2 crore in mutual funds, you can withdraw a fixed amount every month while still keeping the principal invested. This can easily generate a significant portion of your monthly income.

FD Laddering: Use your FDs to cover the balance of your income needs. By creating an FD ladder, you can ensure that a portion of your FDs matures every year, providing both liquidity and consistent income.

Inflation Protection and Growth
While generating current income is important, your investments need to grow to keep pace with inflation. Here’s how you can protect your portfolio from inflation:

Equity Exposure in Mutual Funds: Ensure a portion of your mutual funds is in equity-based funds, as they offer long-term growth potential. A balanced or hybrid mutual fund can provide equity exposure with lower risk.

Rebalancing Portfolio: Review your portfolio periodically to maintain the right balance between equity and debt. As you move further into retirement, you can slowly reduce the equity portion, but it should never be zero to protect against inflation.

Managing Risk and Liquidity
Retirement planning is not only about income generation but also risk management. You need to balance safety and liquidity with growth. Here’s how you can manage this:

Diversification: Keep a diverse portfolio. You already have investments across multiple instruments—mutual funds, fixed deposits, post office schemes, and Jeevan Shanti. This reduces risk.

Health Insurance: As you age, medical expenses could rise. Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance to cover medical emergencies without dipping into your retirement corpus.

Estate Planning: Plan for how your assets will be distributed in the future. This ensures that your loved ones are taken care of without legal complications.

Tax Efficiency
Generating income post-retirement can attract tax, so it’s important to structure your withdrawals in a tax-efficient manner.

Tax-Saving Investments: Make use of tax-saving mutual funds under Section 80C, even though you are close to retirement. This can reduce your tax burden.

Capital Gains Tax: Withdraw from your mutual funds in a way that minimises capital gains tax. Long-term capital gains tax is lower, so try to keep investments for over a year to benefit from this.

Senior Citizen Tax Benefits: As a senior citizen, you are eligible for higher tax deductions. Utilise benefits under Sections 80D (for health insurance premiums) and 80TTB (for interest income).

Final Insights
You have built a solid financial base with Rs 4.7 crore in investments. To meet your retirement goal of Rs 2.5 lakh monthly income, we recommend a balanced approach. Continue generating income from your Jeevan Shanti, post office schemes, and fixed deposits. For additional income and growth, use an SWP from your mutual funds, and consider reallocating a portion of your FDs to mutual funds for better returns.

Regular reviews and portfolio rebalancing will ensure that your investments keep up with inflation while providing a steady, reliable income.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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I am retiring in August, 2023. My job doesn't offer me any retirement benefits like Pension. I do not have a house. I have Rs.1.8 Crores. How to plan my retirement. Planning to invest 1.5 crores in Annuity schemes. Guide.
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Here are a few steps you can take to help plan your retirement:

Assess your expenses: Determine your estimated monthly expenses, including housing, food, transportation, health care, and entertainment. This will give you a good idea of how much money you will need to cover your expenses each month.

Create a budget: Based on your estimated expenses, create a budget that prioritizes your expenses and makes the best use of your resources.

Consider annuity plans: Investing 1.5 crores in annuity plans can provide you with a steady stream of income during your retirement. It's important to compare different annuity plans and consider factors such as interest rates, guarantees, and flexibility before making a decision.

Consider other investment options: In addition to annuity plans, you might consider other investment options, such as bonds, mutual funds, or stocks. These investments can offer potential for higher returns, but also carry greater risk.

Make a plan for long-term care: As you get older, it's important to plan for the possibility of needing long-term care. You might consider purchasing long-term care insurance, or setting aside funds in a dedicated account for this purpose.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2024Hindi
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Hello I am Avneesh, My age is 48 years, I am single and my monthly income is approx. 1.5 lakh, I have no loan and any liability. I have 31 lakh in Shares , approx 30 lakh in PPF, 10 lakh in mutual fund , approx 29 lakh in saving. I want to retire in next 2 years . what will my financial plan for retirement income of 60,0000 to 70,000 per month
Ans: You are 48 years old and plan to retire in 2 years.

You are single with no loans or liabilities.

Your monthly income is approximately Rs 1.5 lakh.

You have Rs 31 lakh in shares, approximately Rs 30 lakh in PPF, Rs 10 lakh in mutual funds, and approximately Rs 29 lakh in savings.

Your goal is to have a monthly retirement income of Rs 60,000 to Rs 70,000.

Current Financial Assets

Shares: Rs 31 lakh

PPF: Rs 30 lakh

Mutual Funds: Rs 10 lakh

Savings: Rs 29 lakh

Total: Rs 100 lakh (Rs 1 crore)

Retirement Income Strategy

Fixed Income Investments

Allocate a portion of your savings to fixed income investments.

Consider options like fixed deposits, senior citizen savings schemes, and government bonds.

These provide stable and predictable income.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) in Mutual Funds

Use mutual funds to set up a SWP.

This allows you to withdraw a fixed amount monthly.

Invest in a mix of equity and debt funds for balanced growth.

Annuities

Consider purchasing an annuity for guaranteed income.

Annuities provide regular payments for life.

Choose the annuity that best fits your needs.

Dividend-Paying Stocks

Invest in high-quality dividend-paying stocks.

Dividends provide a regular income stream.

Focus on stable companies with a history of consistent dividends.

Asset Allocation and Diversification

Equity and Debt Balance

Maintain a balanced portfolio of equity and debt.

Equity provides growth, while debt offers stability.

A 40:60 equity to debt ratio can be considered.

Diversification

Diversify investments across different asset classes.

This reduces risk and ensures steady returns.

Review and adjust your portfolio regularly.

Building the Retirement Corpus

Additional Investments

Continue contributing to your PPF and mutual funds for the next 2 years.

Increase SIP contributions if possible.

Aim to grow your retirement corpus further.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund equal to 6-12 months of expenses.

Keep this fund in a liquid savings account or short-term FD.

This fund provides financial security for unforeseen events.

Health Insurance

Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage.

Review and update your health insurance policy.

Consider additional coverage for critical illnesses.

Estate Planning

Plan for the distribution of your assets.

Consider writing a will and setting up a trust.

Ensure your assets are passed on according to your wishes.

Regular Review and Adjustment

Review your financial plan every six months.

Adjust based on market conditions and personal circumstances.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for professional advice.

Final Insights

With careful planning, you can achieve a comfortable retirement.

Allocate your assets wisely between equity, debt, and fixed income investments.

Consider setting up a SWP and investing in dividend-paying stocks.

Maintain an emergency fund and ensure adequate health insurance.

Review and adjust your financial plan regularly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

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Hello , My age is 48 years, monthly income is approx. 1.5 lakh, I have no loan and any liability. I have 3 lakh in Shares , approx 30 lakh in PPF, 35 lakh in FDR , approx 3 lakh in saving., 60 lakh in NPS and Rs 48000/- per month NPS contribution, 5 lakh in SGB, what will my financial plan for retirement income of 2.5 lakh- per month
Ans: At the age of 48, your financial portfolio is quite diversified. Your monthly income of Rs 1.5 lakh is a strong base, and you’ve been diligent in saving across various instruments. Let’s break down your assets to understand your current financial standing:

Shares: Rs 3 lakh

PPF: Rs 30 lakh

FDR: Rs 35 lakh

Savings: Rs 3 lakh

NPS: Rs 60 lakh with a monthly contribution of Rs 48,000

SGB: Rs 5 lakh

With no liabilities or loans, you’re in a favourable position to plan for your retirement. Your goal of achieving a retirement income of Rs 2.5 lakh per month is ambitious, yet achievable with careful planning and strategic investments.

Assessing Your Retirement Goals
Retiring with a monthly income of Rs 2.5 lakh requires substantial planning. Here’s what you need to consider:

Inflation: Over the next few years, inflation will erode the purchasing power of your money. A monthly income of Rs 2.5 lakh today might need to be much higher by the time you retire.

Life Expectancy: Considering an average life expectancy of 80 years, your retirement plan should be robust enough to last for at least 30-35 years.

Healthcare Costs: With age, healthcare expenses will increase. It’s essential to allocate funds specifically for medical emergencies.

Lifestyle: If you plan to maintain or even enhance your current lifestyle, your retirement corpus should be sizeable enough to support this.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
Your investments are spread across different instruments, each with its benefits and limitations. Let’s evaluate them:

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Advantages: PPF is a safe investment with a decent interest rate, and it’s tax-free.

Limitations: The lock-in period and the maximum contribution limit restrict how much you can invest.

Recommendation: Continue contributing to PPF, but don’t rely on it solely for retirement. PPF will provide stability, but it won’t be enough to meet your Rs 2.5 lakh per month target.

Fixed Deposit Receipts (FDR)
Advantages: FDs offer guaranteed returns and are a safe investment option.

Limitations: The interest rates on FDs are often lower than inflation, leading to a decrease in real returns over time.

Recommendation: While FDs are good for short-term goals and emergencies, they shouldn’t be your primary retirement investment. Consider reallocating a portion of this into higher-return investments.

National Pension Scheme (NPS)
Advantages: NPS is a robust retirement savings tool, offering market-linked returns and tax benefits.

Limitations: NPS has restrictions on withdrawals and requires annuitisation at maturity, which might reduce liquidity.

Recommendation: Continue your contributions to NPS, but plan for how you’ll manage the annuity phase. The lump-sum withdrawal option should be carefully managed.

Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGB)
Advantages: SGBs offer a safe way to invest in gold with an interest component.

Limitations: Gold is typically seen as a hedge rather than a primary investment for income generation.

Recommendation: Keep SGBs as part of your diversified portfolio but avoid over-investing in gold. It’s more of a safety net than a growth tool.

Shares
Advantages: Equities can provide high returns and help in wealth accumulation.

Limitations: Shares are volatile and require careful management to avoid losses.

Recommendation: Your equity investment is relatively low. Consider gradually increasing your exposure to equities through mutual funds or systematic investment plans (SIPs) for long-term growth.

Strategic Rebalancing of Your Portfolio
To meet your retirement goal of Rs 2.5 lakh per month, you’ll need to rebalance your portfolio strategically. Here’s how you can do it:

Increase Equity Exposure
Reason: Equities have the potential to outpace inflation and generate significant returns over the long term.

Action: Consider investing in diversified equity mutual funds or SIPs. Over the next 10-12 years, this will help build a robust corpus.

Maximise NPS Benefits
Reason: NPS is tax-efficient and offers good returns, especially with equity exposure.

Action: Continue your Rs 48,000 monthly contribution. At retirement, plan to manage the withdrawal carefully, considering both the annuity and lump-sum options.

Reduce Fixed Deposit Allocation
Reason: FDs offer lower returns compared to other investment options.

Action: Gradually shift a portion of your FD savings into equity or balanced mutual funds. This will help grow your corpus faster.

Maintain a Balanced Portfolio
Reason: Diversification reduces risk and ensures stability.

Action: Keep a mix of equities, debt, gold, and NPS. This balanced approach will protect you against market volatility while ensuring growth.

Planning for Healthcare and Contingencies
Healthcare is a significant concern during retirement. Here’s how you can prepare:

Emergency Fund: Maintain at least 6-12 months’ worth of expenses in liquid savings for emergencies.

Health Insurance: Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance coverage. Consider a top-up plan if needed.

Medical Corpus: Set aside a dedicated corpus for healthcare. This could be in the form of a health savings account or a specific investment geared towards medical expenses.

Ensuring a Steady Retirement Income
To achieve a retirement income of Rs 2.5 lakh per month, consider the following strategies:

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Advantages: SWP from mutual funds allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly while the rest of your investment continues to grow.

Action: Set up SWPs from your equity and debt mutual funds. This will provide you with a steady income while ensuring your corpus continues to work for you.

Annuities and Pensions
Advantages: Annuities provide a guaranteed income for life.

Limitations: Annuities can have lower returns compared to other investments and may not keep pace with inflation.

Action: Use a portion of your NPS maturity amount to purchase an annuity for guaranteed income. However, balance this with other investments to ensure inflation-adjusted growth.

Realigning Investments Closer to Retirement
Reason: As you approach retirement, reducing exposure to high-risk investments is crucial.

Action: Gradually shift from equity to more stable debt instruments or balanced funds as you near retirement. This will protect your corpus from market volatility.

Final Insights
Your financial foundation is strong, with diversified investments and no liabilities. However, to achieve your goal of a Rs 2.5 lakh monthly income during retirement, you’ll need to make strategic adjustments to your portfolio.

Here are the key takeaways:

Increase Equity Exposure: Focus on long-term growth through diversified equity mutual funds or SIPs. This will help build the corpus you need.

Maximise NPS: Continue your contributions and plan for strategic withdrawals at retirement.

Reduce Fixed Deposits: Shift from low-return FDs to higher-yield investments like mutual funds or equities.

Maintain a Balanced Portfolio: Ensure diversification to reduce risk while maintaining growth.

Plan for Healthcare: Set aside a dedicated medical corpus and ensure you have adequate health insurance.

Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs): This will provide a steady retirement income while keeping your investments growing.

Consider Annuities: Use part of your NPS maturity to purchase an annuity for guaranteed income, but don’t rely solely on it.

Realign Investments Closer to Retirement: Gradually reduce risk as you approach retirement to protect your corpus.

By carefully planning and making these adjustments, you can achieve your retirement goal and enjoy a comfortable, worry-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 09, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello , My age is 48 years, monthly income is approx. 1.5 lakh, I have no loan and any liability. I have 3 lakh in Shares , approx 30 lakh in PPF, 35 lakh in FDR , approx 3 lakh in saving., 60 lakh in NPS and Rs 48000/- per month NPS contribution, 5 lakh in SGB, what will my financial plan for retirement income of 2.5 lakh- per month
Ans: You are in a strong financial position. Your monthly income is Rs. 1.5 lakh, and you have no liabilities. You have diversified your investments across various instruments. This includes Rs. 3 lakh in shares, Rs. 30 lakh in PPF, Rs. 35 lakh in FDR, Rs. 3 lakh in savings, Rs. 60 lakh in NPS with Rs. 48,000 monthly contributions, and Rs. 5 lakh in SGB.

These investments provide you with a solid foundation for your retirement planning.

Retirement Income Goal
Your goal is to have a retirement income of Rs. 2.5 lakh per month. This is a substantial amount and requires careful planning. Given your current financial status and your target, let’s assess how to achieve this goal.

Assessing Your Investment Portfolio
Public Provident Fund (PPF)

PPF is a safe investment with tax benefits.
However, the returns are relatively low compared to other options.
You can continue investing in PPF but look for more growth-oriented investments.
Fixed Deposit Receipts (FDR)

FDs provide stability and assured returns.
The interest is taxable, which reduces the effective returns.
It is wise to keep a portion in FDRs for emergency liquidity but not for long-term growth.
Shares

You have Rs. 3 lakh in shares, which can provide good returns but carry market risks.
Consider increasing your exposure to equity for long-term growth.
National Pension System (NPS)

NPS is a good option for retirement planning.
Your current corpus of Rs. 60 lakh and monthly contributions will help build a sizable retirement fund.
NPS has a mix of equity and debt, balancing risk and return.
Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGB)

SGBs provide a hedge against inflation and are relatively safer.
Gold usually performs well in uncertain times, but it should not be the primary investment.
Calculating Retirement Corpus
To achieve a retirement income of Rs. 2.5 lakh per month, you need a substantial corpus. Considering inflation and life expectancy, you would require a corpus of approximately Rs. 5-7 crore.

Investment Strategy to Achieve Retirement Goal
Increase Equity Exposure

Equity has the potential to deliver higher returns in the long term.
Consider investing in diversified mutual funds.
Actively managed funds offer better opportunities compared to index funds.
Equity exposure can be gradually increased, considering your risk appetite.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

SIPs are a disciplined way to invest regularly.
Consider starting SIPs in diversified equity mutual funds.
Gradually increase SIP contributions (Step-Up SIP) to match your income growth.
Balanced Fund Portfolio

A balanced portfolio of equity and debt can reduce risk while ensuring growth.
Consider funds that offer a mix of equity and debt to balance your portfolio.
Maximize NPS Contributions

NPS is tax-efficient and offers a good mix of equity and debt.
Continue with your current contributions.
Consider increasing your contribution as your income grows.
Review and Rebalance Portfolio Regularly

Regular reviews ensure your investments are aligned with your goals.
Rebalancing helps in maintaining the desired asset allocation.
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner for periodic reviews.
Managing Inflation and Longevity Risk
Inflation Protection

Ensure your portfolio grows faster than inflation.
Equity investments can provide the necessary growth to combat inflation.
Longevity Planning

Plan for a longer retirement period.
Ensure your retirement corpus lasts your lifetime.
Tax Efficiency in Retirement Planning
Tax Planning

Consider tax-efficient investments to reduce tax outgo.
Use tax-free bonds, NPS, and ELSS for tax-saving purposes.
Tax on Withdrawal

Plan withdrawals from your retirement corpus in a tax-efficient manner.
Spread withdrawals to minimize tax impact.
Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses.
This can be kept in liquid funds or a savings account.
Final Insights
Your financial foundation is strong, and with the right strategy, you can achieve your retirement income goal.

Focus on increasing equity exposure, regularly review your investments, and ensure tax efficiency. This will provide the growth needed to reach a retirement corpus that supports Rs. 2.5 lakh per month.

It is advisable to work with a Certified Financial Planner for a personalized plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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