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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Sharat Question by Sharat on May 27, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi, my age is 40, I want to retire by 50 with Rs. 2 Crore of Corpus, Right Now i have Rs. 17 lacs in PF, Rs. 5 Lacs in NPS, Rs.1 Lacs in PPF and Home loan Completed this year. I have one LIC policy of Premium of Rs. 24000 Yearly. Now I don’t have single saving in my saving account. my monthly expense is 35k. I want to start from Zero. My monthly on hand salary is Rs. 1.5 Lacs and i am ready to take risk for Higher return. I have Jeevan Saral Policy starting from 2010 to still now and its mature on September-2023, I have checked and surrender the value comes to Rs. 6 Lacs, overall, i check and confirm only 5 to 6% comes in LIC Policy. Please advise only 5 years remaining for maturity. Also, in My monthly income i can easily save Rs. 1.05 Lacs if consider Rs. 45k Monthly expense. Issue is I am from Market since long 15 years and Right Now Market is very high so it’s advisable to start a SIP. or invest on safe place like FD & RD. Can I increase NPS contribution Rs 50 k to Rs. 1.50 lacs or invest in PPF account of Rs. 1.5 Lacs annually and also open a PPF account for daughter.

Ans: Building a Robust Retirement Plan: A Strategic Approach
Congratulations on completing your home loan! With no debts and a strong monthly income, you are in a great position to plan for retirement. Here’s a comprehensive strategy to achieve your goal of a Rs. 2 crore corpus by the age of 50.

Assessing Your Current Financial Health
Here’s a summary of your current financial standing:

Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 17 lakh
National Pension System (NPS): Rs. 5 lakh
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 1 lakh
LIC Policy: Surrender value Rs. 6 lakh
You have a solid foundation but need to optimize your investments to reach your goal.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
You have Rs. 6 lakh in an LIC policy with a return of 5-6%. Considering its low return, it might be wise to redirect this amount into higher-yielding investments. Surrendering it and reinvesting in better options could be beneficial.

Creating a Diversified Investment Strategy
Given your readiness to take risks for higher returns, a diversified approach is ideal. Here's how you can structure your investments:

Increasing Contributions to NPS and PPF
NPS: Increasing your contribution to Rs. 1.5 lakh annually can provide additional tax benefits and long-term growth. NPS is a good mix of equity and debt.
PPF: Maximizing your PPF contribution to Rs. 1.5 lakh annually ensures risk-free returns with tax benefits. Opening a PPF account for your daughter is also a good long-term strategy.
Investing in Mutual Funds
Starting a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) in mutual funds is advisable despite current market levels. SIPs average out the cost over time, reducing market volatility risk. Actively managed funds can offer better returns than index funds due to professional management and strategic asset allocation.

Liquid Savings and Emergency Fund
Maintaining liquidity is crucial. Since you can save Rs. 1.05 lakh monthly, allocate a portion to build an emergency fund. Aim for 6-12 months' worth of expenses, i.e., Rs. 2.7 lakh to Rs. 5.4 lakh. This fund should be easily accessible, such as in a high-interest savings account or liquid mutual funds.

Tax Planning and Optimization
Maximize tax-saving investments to enhance returns. Utilize Section 80C benefits with investments in PPF, NPS, and ELSS funds. Consider tax-efficient investment options that offer higher post-tax returns.

Reviewing Insurance Coverage
You have term insurance for family protection, which is excellent. Ensure the coverage amount is adequate considering inflation and future needs. Health insurance provided by your company is beneficial, but consider a separate policy for comprehensive coverage during job transitions or retirement.

Rebalancing Your Portfolio
Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to align with your risk tolerance and financial goals. As you approach retirement, gradually shift from high-risk equity investments to safer debt instruments to protect your corpus.

Financial Discipline and Monitoring
Maintain financial discipline by sticking to your savings plan. Regularly monitor your investments and adjust strategies as needed based on market conditions and life changes.

Retirement Corpus Calculation
Estimate the corpus required for a comfortable retirement by considering inflation, life expectancy, and desired lifestyle. Use retirement planning tools or consult a Certified Financial Planner for precise calculations.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Upon retirement, implement a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from your mutual fund investments. SWPs provide a steady income stream and tax efficiency, ensuring your corpus lasts longer.

Continuous Learning and Adaptation
Stay informed about financial markets and investment opportunities. Financial planning is dynamic; adapt your strategy based on changing economic conditions and personal circumstances.

Conclusion
Your financial health is solid with no debts and a high savings potential. By following a diversified investment strategy and maintaining financial discipline, you can achieve your goal of retiring with a Rs. 2 crore corpus by 50. Optimize tax savings, regularly review your portfolio, and adjust as necessary to stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Dear Sir, I am 44 yrs old with wife and 2 kids of age 9&11.I have been investing my money into the following sectors over the last few years back. 1.LIC and SBI money back policies of 8.5L and will be mature in 2034. 2.Life cover for self of 50L has to pay till 2047 annually of 20K. 3.Max life ULIP plan SA 6L mature in 2031. 4.Family floater Health I surance of 5L 4.HDFC life click 2I combo plan invest of 9L 5.SSA till date for both children 1L each 5.SIP of 20K since last 4.5yrs monthly 6.SIP lumpsum of 1L invested in Axis medium cap fund invested 4yrs back My question is to secure my child education and retirement life after 55 yrs , corpus should be 2 Crore what else I have to do
Ans: It's commendable that you've been diligently planning for your family's future. Your commitment to securing your children's education and ensuring a comfortable retirement is truly admirable.

Considering your current investments, it's essential to evaluate if they align with your long-term goals. While your existing plans offer some protection and potential growth, diversifying your portfolio could provide added stability and growth potential. Have you explored avenues beyond traditional insurance policies and mutual funds?

Certified Financial Planners can offer personalized strategies tailored to your aspirations and risk tolerance. They can suggest options that balance growth potential with risk mitigation, guiding you towards achieving your desired corpus. Have you considered consulting one to fine-tune your financial roadmap?

Remember, the journey to financial security is not just about numbers—it's about ensuring peace of mind and enabling your loved ones to pursue their dreams. By proactively seeking guidance and exploring diverse investment avenues, you're laying a robust foundation for a fulfilling future. Keep nurturing your financial garden, and the seeds you sow today will bloom into a prosperous tomorrow.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

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Thank you, Very Much Sir, I have Jeevan Saral Policy starting from 2010 to still now and its mature on September-2023, I have checked and surrender the value comes to Rs. 6 Lacs, overall, i check and confirm only 5 to 6% comes in LIC Policy. Please advise only 5 years remaining for maturity. Also, in My monthly income i can easily save Rs. 1.05 Lacs if consider Rs. 45k Monthly expense. Issue is I am from Market since long 15 years and Right Now Market is very high so its advisable to start a SIP. or invest on safe place like FD & RD. Can I increase NPS contribution Rs. 50 k to Rs. 1.50 LACS or invest in PPF account of Rs. 1.5 Lacs annually and also open a PPF account for daughter. Regards
Ans: Assessing Your Jeevan Saral Policy
It's commendable that you’re evaluating your investments. With only 5 years left on your Jeevan Saral policy, you should consider your options carefully.

Consider Surrendering Your Policy
Surrendering your Jeevan Saral policy now might be beneficial. You mentioned a surrender value of Rs. 6 lakhs, which could be reinvested for potentially higher returns.

Investing in Mutual Funds
Starting a SIP in mutual funds can be a wise choice, even if the market is high. Over the long term, mutual funds generally provide better returns than traditional savings options like FDs and RDs.

Increasing NPS Contribution
Increasing your NPS contribution from Rs. 50,000 to Rs. 1.5 lakhs annually is a good move. It provides tax benefits and helps in building a substantial retirement corpus.

Investing in PPF
Investing Rs. 1.5 lakhs annually in a PPF account is a safe and tax-efficient option. Opening a PPF account for your daughter will also help in securing her future.

Balancing Your Portfolio
Diversify your investments between mutual funds, NPS, and PPF. This balance offers growth potential with safety, meeting both short-term and long-term financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 28, 2024

Money
Hello Ma'm, I'm 39 years old, my wife and my earning is 2.4L per month. I have started an SIP of 18k per month. Monthly I deposit 5k in PPF. LIC Premium of 69k per year. We own a flat and now I have started constructing a house and taken a joint loan of 1.5Cr both in my and my wife's name. EMI is 1.32L. I don't have any other means of income. Our monthly expenses are around 40k. We have a 5 yr old son and need around 3L per year for his education.EPF as of today is around 10L, PPF is around 5L. I have LIC for a sum assured of 25L, in total 25 LIC policies, which matures every year after 2036. LIC was started in the year 2011. payment term was for 25 years. Will it be good if I surrender these LIC policies are should I continue. Need info on the LTCG if I sell my flat for 1.2Cr and who would be the tax applicable on it, I need to pay of the loan taken for constructing the house. I need your suggestions on how to handle it and my retirement plan. Please let me know if any other details are required.
Ans: You have a strong foundation. Your combined income of Rs. 2.4 lakh per month and assets like EPF, PPF, and LIC policies show disciplined savings. However, your significant loan obligations and future plans require a careful strategy to ensure financial stability and growth.

Evaluating the LIC Policies
Current Status: You have 25 LIC policies with a total sum assured of Rs. 25 lakh, maturing from 2036 onwards. These were started in 2011 with a 25-year term.

Decision on Surrendering: LIC policies typically offer lower returns compared to other investment options. You could consider surrendering them if the surrender value is close to your paid premiums. The money saved can be better utilized in higher-yielding investments.

Alternative Strategy: If you surrender these policies, redirect the funds into diversified mutual funds. This will provide better long-term returns and flexibility. Ensure you invest through a trusted MFD with CFP credentials to get the benefits of regular funds.

Managing the Home Loan
Loan Overview: You have a joint home loan of Rs. 1.5 crore with an EMI of Rs. 1.32 lakh. This is a significant portion of your income, which limits your cash flow.

Paying Off the Loan: You mentioned considering selling your flat for Rs. 1.2 crore. If you choose to sell, the proceeds can be used to reduce your loan burden. This would lower your EMI or even clear a significant part of the loan, freeing up monthly income.

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG) on Selling the Flat
LTCG Tax: If you sell your flat for Rs. 1.2 crore, LTCG tax will apply. The tax rate is 20% after indexation benefits. This tax can be significant, so consider reinvesting the gains under Section 54 to avoid or reduce the tax burden. Reinvesting in another property or certain bonds within specified timelines can help.
Investment Strategy for SIPs and PPF
SIP Investment: You have started an SIP of Rs. 18,000 per month. This is a good start. Continue increasing the SIP amount as your income grows. Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds to balance risk and return. Avoid index funds and ETFs as actively managed funds offer better returns with professional management.

PPF Contributions: You deposit Rs. 5,000 monthly in PPF. This is a safe and tax-efficient investment. Continue this as part of your retirement corpus. The PPF’s long-term benefits will provide security during retirement.

Handling the Educational Expenses
Planning for Your Son’s Education: You need Rs. 3 lakh annually for your son’s education. Start a dedicated education fund using a mix of equity and debt mutual funds. This will provide the required amount with minimal strain on your monthly budget.
Retirement Planning
Retirement Corpus Requirement: You need to focus on building a substantial retirement corpus, given the existing liabilities and your son’s education needs.

EPF and PPF: Your EPF (Rs. 10 lakh) and PPF (Rs. 5 lakh) form the core of your retirement savings. Continue these contributions.

Diversified Portfolio: Allocate a portion of your savings into diversified mutual funds with a mix of equity and debt. This will help in wealth accumulation over the long term.

Tax Planning
Income Tax Management: With your income and investments, effective tax planning is crucial. Utilize Section 80C (up to Rs. 1.5 lakh) for EPF, PPF, and LIC premiums. Explore other tax-saving avenues like NPS under Section 80CCD(1B).

LTCG and Deductions: Plan your investments to optimize tax liabilities, especially with the potential sale of your flat. Consult a tax expert to explore all possible deductions and exemptions.

Final Insights
Reassess Your Insurance: Consider term insurance with adequate coverage for your family. This is crucial for their financial security in case of any unforeseen events.

Investment Discipline: Maintain discipline in your SIPs and other investments. Regular reviews with a Certified Financial Planner will help in realigning your strategy as needed.

Career Shift: While exploring a career shift, ensure you have a robust financial plan. A stable passive income stream and an emergency fund can provide peace of mind during this transition.

Retirement Planning Focus: Prioritize building a retirement corpus. It’s crucial to have sufficient funds for a comfortable post-retirement life.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 23, 2024

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Hello Sir, I'm 39 years old, my wife and my earning is 2.4L per month. I have started an SIP of 18k per month. Monthly I deposit 5k in PPF. LIC Premium of 69k per year. We own a flat and now I have started constructing a house and taken a joint loan of 1.5Cr both in my and my wife's name. EMI is 1.32L. I don't have any other means of income. Our monthly expenses are around 40k. We have a 5 yr old son and need around 3L per year for his education.EPF as of today is around 10L, PPF is around 5L. I have LIC for a sum assured of 25L, in total 25 LIC policies, which matures every year after 2036. LIC was started in the year 2011. payment term was for 25 years. Will it be good if I surrender these LIC policies are should I continue. Need info on the LTCG if I sell my flat for 1.2Cr and who would be the tax applicable on it, I need to pay of the loan taken for constructing the house. I need your suggestions on how to handle it and my retirement plan. Please let me know if any other details are required.
Ans: At 39, you’re at a critical juncture in life where strategic financial planning is essential for securing your family's future. Your current income of Rs 2.4 lakhs per month, SIP investments, and commitment to savings through PPF reflect a disciplined approach. However, balancing your financial commitments, such as the joint home loan and your son’s education, with future goals like retirement requires careful planning.

Assessing Your Insurance Policies
Your 25 LIC policies, maturing from 2036 onwards, with a total sum assured of Rs 25 lakhs, have served as a significant portion of your insurance portfolio. However, with your current financial obligations and future goals in mind, it’s essential to reassess whether these policies align with your long-term objectives.

Considerations for Continuing LIC Policies:

Insurance Cover: Evaluate whether the Rs 25 lakhs sum assured is sufficient. Generally, life insurance should cover 10-15 times your annual income. In your case, this would be significantly higher than Rs 25 lakhs.

Policy Maturity: The policies mature over a long period, which may not provide liquidity when you need it most, such as during your son’s education or major life events.

Returns on Investment: LIC policies often offer lower returns compared to other investment options like mutual funds. The premiums could potentially yield better returns if redirected.

Option to Surrender:

Reallocation: If you choose to surrender, the funds could be redirected to more growth-oriented investments, providing higher returns and better alignment with your financial goals.

Impact: Understand the surrender value and any associated penalties. Weigh this against the potential returns from reallocating those funds.

Managing Your Home Loan and Property Sale
Your joint home loan with an EMI of Rs 1.32 lakhs is a significant financial burden, especially with your monthly expenses at Rs 40,000. Considering selling your flat for Rs 1.2 crores to pay off the home loan is a viable option but requires careful tax planning.

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG) Tax:

Tax Implication: If you sell the flat, LTCG tax will apply on the sale proceeds minus the indexed cost of acquisition. The current LTCG tax rate is 20% with indexation benefits.

Exemptions: To save on LTCG tax, you can invest the gains in another residential property under Section 54 or in specified bonds under Section 54EC.

Loan Repayment: Use the sale proceeds to clear the joint home loan. This reduces your financial burden, freeing up your income for other essential investments.

Evaluating the Sale:

Loan Repayment: Clearing the home loan reduces your EMI obligation, which currently consumes more than half of your monthly income.

Alternative Investments: Consider reallocating the remaining proceeds to a mix of liquid and growth-oriented investments. This could enhance your financial stability and ensure funds are available for future needs.

Strategic Investment Planning
Your current investment of Rs 18,000 per month in SIPs and Rs 5,000 per month in PPF is a good start. However, with the home loan and your son’s education expenses, it’s essential to optimize your investments for better returns.

Re-evaluating SIPs:

Diversification: Ensure that your SIP investments are diversified across different asset classes such as equity, debt, and hybrid funds to balance risk and reward.

Regular Funds: Investing through regular funds with the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures that your portfolio is well-managed, aligning with your goals.

Reallocation from LIC: If you decide to surrender your LIC policies, consider directing those funds into your SIPs. This could significantly enhance the growth potential of your investments.

PPF Contributions:

Tax Efficiency: PPF offers tax benefits under Section 80C and is a safe, long-term investment. However, the lock-in period and lower returns compared to equities might not align with your need for higher growth.

Balancing Contributions: You may want to balance contributions between PPF and equity-oriented SIPs to achieve a mix of safety and growth.

Planning for Your Son’s Education
With a 5-year-old son, you anticipate education costs of around Rs 3 lakhs per year. Education expenses will likely rise, so planning for them is crucial.

Education Fund:

Dedicated SIP: Consider setting up a dedicated SIP for your son’s education, targeting growth-oriented funds that can outpace inflation.

Child Plan: Explore child-specific investment plans that provide a mix of insurance and investment benefits, ensuring that education expenses are covered even in your absence.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): As your son approaches college age, an SWP could provide a steady stream of income, covering his education expenses.

Retirement Planning
Retirement planning should be a priority, especially given your current financial commitments. You’ll need a substantial corpus to maintain your lifestyle post-retirement.

Corpus Estimation:

Target Corpus: Estimate your retirement corpus based on your desired retirement age, current lifestyle, and inflation. Given your current income and expenses, a target of Rs 5-7 crores might be realistic.

Investment Strategy: Allocate a portion of your income to retirement-focused investments, such as diversified equity funds. The power of compounding will help you accumulate the necessary corpus over the next 15-20 years.

EPF and PPF: Continue contributing to EPF and PPF as they provide a stable and tax-efficient foundation for your retirement corpus.

Reviewing Insurance Needs:

Term Insurance: Ensure that you have adequate term insurance coverage, which is more cost-effective than traditional policies like LIC.

Health Insurance: With age, medical expenses tend to increase. Consider enhancing your health insurance coverage to protect against unforeseen medical costs in retirement.

Tax Planning and Optimization
Efficient tax planning can help you retain more of your earnings and grow your wealth faster.

Maximizing Deductions:

Section 80C: You’re already maximizing this with PPF, LIC premiums, and home loan principal repayment. Consider other avenues like ELSS for additional tax benefits.

Section 80D: Ensure you claim deductions for health insurance premiums. This not only reduces tax liability but also secures your family’s health needs.

Capital Gains and Tax Efficiency:

Property Sale: As discussed, reinvest LTCG from the property sale into specified instruments to reduce tax liability.

Tax Harvesting: If you hold equities or equity mutual funds, consider tax harvesting strategies to minimize LTCG taxes.

Emergency Fund and Contingency Planning
An emergency fund is essential, especially with your current financial commitments.

Building a Safety Net:

Liquid Fund: Set aside at least 6 months’ worth of expenses in a liquid fund. This ensures you’re covered in case of job loss or other emergencies.

Flexibility: Ensure that this fund is easily accessible and not locked into long-term investments.

Debt Management:

Prioritizing Debt: Consider prioritizing high-interest debt, such as any personal loans or credit card balances, before focusing on long-term investments.
Final Insights
Your financial situation is complex, but with strategic planning, you can manage your current obligations while building a secure future. Focus on reassessing your LIC policies, optimizing your investment strategy, and planning for major life goals like your son’s education and retirement.

Reducing your home loan burden through the sale of your flat and efficient tax planning can further enhance your financial stability. Ensuring that you have adequate insurance coverage and a robust emergency fund will protect you against unforeseen events.

Finally, with disciplined investing and strategic reallocation of funds, you can achieve your long-term financial goals and secure a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi sir, I am 40 yr old having work-expereince of 10 yrs behind me in ITes, customer support & service, banking and sales & marketing (product). My life till now can easily be converted into a bollywood biopic having its own twist & turns, roadblocks, struggles laughter, joy and sorrow. Change is the only constant in life and that exactly applies in my case. Although it has been a satisfactorily life till now given that I know myself and how I lead my life. Whenever I start to read something new I feel like going deep into it. I am also easily attracted to novel things & concepts. I usually get into procastination mode whenever I come across something entirely new and start to imagine myself trying it out in realilty.Why does this happens? Why can't I focus on one single thing at a time and see it to completion? I know in todays world generalists are looked down upon and it is an era of specialists, experts and professionals having good domain knowledge of their area of work. It is always better to be an expert than be a jack of all trades (which seems very filmy nowadays where a hero is expected to do everything on his own). Lately I have developed an avid interest in technology and i keep on reading various articles & books on IT and technology. I am also pursuing an online cyber security course from Great Learning Institute, Bangalore. I want to know am I going in the correct direction in life or is it something else I should do which ensures more satisfaction in life? Lately, I have become bit irriiated as well due to the above reasons as I tend to do multiple things at a time (multitasking). My parents are also fed up of me now. My mother keeps nagging me all day.I dont know how to really deal with her, as she always finds perfection in everything. That becomes too much at times. Does this happens in every household? Should I go out and travel to some place in order to temporarily escape from all this? Kindly suggest me some course of action. Pls answer. Thanks
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You will be distracted and keep trying new things until you actually figure out what you want for yourself in life.
- How does you life seem like a few years down the line?
- What must you do NOW to actually get to where you want in life?

And to answer these questions, you first need to identify a strong, solid goal in life. Either you work with a mentor or your boss or a friend or an expert who can help you identify your goal and purpose. That might help you stay the course and actually streamline your thoughts, your job and your daily life.
Travel used for learning is great but using it to escape only worsens things...So, work on Goal-Setting!

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Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi , I am a professor mech engineer , after death of my wife and due to having 5 year girl baby I planned for 2 nd marriage as I live alone away from home town because my of job with my little baby . I accepted a widow having 2 child ,she was working in a govt job 250 km away , after ensuring and agreeing her possibility of transfer and job vacancy @govt office near my house and ensuring she agreed that she will come to live with me along with her 2 kids and my little baby as her trasfer was due in comming few months . We lived apart during her job at 250 km away.,while meeting on weekly offs 6 /7 time in 6 months , then she take 360 degree u turn and said she will not get job transfer to my place and get her trasfer in other dept. in same previous office. And started telling many reasons like she will loose her children's inheritance in her in-laws property ,she will loose promotion , kids Don't want trasfer , and said we will live apart forever . This was contradictory to earlier agreed things .and my my purpose to live in family with my baby not fulfilled , so after long ruckus ,I mutually got divorce from her , Then After divorce I decided to marry non working women having no child and don't expect child as I am @48 year old and tired of living alone and managing job ,girl , house chores . I married to a divorcee girl from Pune ,she was BA first year college drop out girl of 44 yr age after 6 months of long dating on week ends . During 6 months I tried to know her indepth but was don't used to talk much as I was trying to know her true nature, we visited many places ,movies . She seemed perfect as per my requirement of girl wanting no child , and she is house wife . after marriage she behave well for 1 st week ,then she started trouble to hate my baby ( became kaikai )on pety things , she want my baby to house chores at the cost of her important year of 10th std study . She don't liked me taking tution of girl , she didn't like if I help my girl any way . She don't like if I spent some money on my girl . She used to fight all night and don't let me sleep . Now she stated demanding that she want baby , though I was against and b4 marriage agreed to not have any more child due to old age ,cost ,and no personal time for self , then I agreed to have child but b4 that I got her and my fertility tested ,she had weak eggs and syst on her reproductive organs and doc warned to not go for pregnancy due to risk and probability of unhealthy baby birth , but she kept repeating That she want child we consulted 4 Drs. She used to fight and go to her mother's home for 2/4 months after living with me for 2/3 days only . Now she wants divorce , and asks me to keep my girl in hostel if I want her in my life . This Ramayan has left me baffled , What should I do ??? .....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The reason to marry for you mainly has been companionship, a mother for your daughter...
And marriage is not a transaction BUT a meeting of minds...when there is no compatibility, there is no space for agreeing on the same things or wanting to make things work which is possibly what has happened with your 2nd and 3rd marriage.
If you want this marriage to work, there has to be an equal commitment by both of you, so, start by emotionally bonding first. Slowly build on this by making goals for the marriage and the future...your only goal can't be mother for your child...not all women are going to readily accept this and some may even falter along the way. Allow the lady and your daughter to bond together for sometime so they develop a unique relationship...
Understand that transactional relationships do not last; so, invest enough time in building trust in that companionship for it to become something meaningful

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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