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48-year-old Private Firm Employee Asks: How Much to Invest Monthly to Save 2 Crores by 60?

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |947 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 27, 2024

Milind Vadjikar is an independent MF distributor registered with Association of Mutual Funds in India (AMFI) and a retirement financial planning advisor registered with Pension Fund Regulatory and Development Authority (PFRDA).
He has a mechanical engineering degree from Government Engineering College, Sambhajinagar, and an MBA in international business from the Symbiosis Institute of Business Management, Pune.
With over 16 years of experience in stock investments, and over six year experience in investment guidance and support, he believes that balanced asset allocation and goal-focused disciplined investing is the key to achieving investor goals.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024Hindi
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Sir i am 48 and work in a private firm. I want to know how much should i invest in mutual funds monthly and which mutual funds can i invest to save two crores at 60.

Ans: Hello;

You have two options:

Either make a flat monthly sip of 60 K for 12 years.
Or
Make a monthly sip of 50K with 5% top-up each year upto 12 years

Both options will yield you a corpus of 2 Cr as desired(modest return of 13% assumed).

Recommended mutual fund types with one example is given below:

1. Retirement mutual fund(Solution based funds)

These funds have a 5 year lock-in. I recommend HDFC Retirement Savings Fund Equity Plan(Growth).

2. Equity Linked Savings Scheme(ELSS) funds

If you invest in ELSS schemes, then you can avail tax exemption of the invested amount up to a limit of Rs. 150,000.

Theses funds have a 3 year lock-in.

They serve dual purpose of tax saving and capital appreciation. I recommend Mirae Asset ELSS tax saver fund(growth).

In case your 80C deduction limit is covered by other tax saving investments like EPF/PPF, insurance premia etc then you may consider the following type of fund.

3. Flexicap fund
Flexicap funds are equity funds that have the flexibility to invest in any market cap equities, i.e. large-cap, mid-cap, or small-cap shares, without any restriction. This means that the fund manager can change the allocation of the fund based on the market conditions, opportunities, and valuations.

I recommend you to invest in PPFAS flexicap fund (growth).

You may allocate 50:50 in any two of these fund types.

Recommended funds are based on their return performance in their category.

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates.

Happy Investing!!

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7741 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 30, 2024

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My age is 47 year. i need 2 Cr at the age of 60. Please let me know, good mutual fund as well as investment amount (monthly)?
Ans: Building a Corpus of Rs. 2 Crores by Age 60
As a Certified Financial Planner, I understand your goal of accumulating Rs. 2 crores by the age of 60. Achieving this target requires a strategic approach to investment planning, considering your current age, risk tolerance, and investment horizon.

Assessment of Investment Horizon and Risk Profile

At 47 years old, you have approximately 13 years until you reach your target age of 60. This timeline allows for a moderate to aggressive investment strategy, considering the long-term horizon and potential for higher returns.

Selection of Mutual Funds

Given your investment horizon and the goal of accumulating Rs. 2 crores, it's crucial to select mutual funds that offer a balance of growth potential and risk management. Here are some considerations:

Equity Funds: Equity funds have historically delivered higher returns over the long term compared to debt funds. Considering your goal and time horizon, allocating a significant portion of your investment towards equity funds is advisable.

Diversification: Opt for a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap equity funds to diversify your portfolio and mitigate risks associated with specific market segments.

Consistency of Performance: Evaluate mutual funds with a track record of consistent performance over different market cycles. Look for funds managed by experienced fund managers with a disciplined investment approach.

Determining Investment Amount

To accumulate Rs. 2 crores by age 60, you need to determine the monthly investment amount based on factors such as expected rate of return and investment duration. Here's a general approach:

Expected Rate of Return: While past performance is not indicative of future results, historical data suggests that equity mutual funds have delivered an average annual return of around 12% to 15% over the long term. Considering your goal and risk profile, aiming for an average annual return of 12% is reasonable.

Investment Duration: With a 13-year investment horizon, you have the advantage of compounding returns over a relatively long period. Regular monthly investments can harness the power of compounding and help you achieve your target corpus.

Monthly Investment Amount: Using financial calculators or consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can help determine the monthly investment amount required to reach Rs. 2 crores by age 60, considering the expected rate of return and investment duration.

Monitoring and Review

It's essential to monitor your investments regularly and review your portfolio's performance to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Periodic rebalancing may be necessary to maintain the desired asset allocation and manage risk effectively.

Conclusion

By investing strategically in mutual funds with a focus on equity funds and adopting a disciplined approach to regular monthly investments, you can work towards accumulating Rs. 2 crores by age 60. Remember to review your investment strategy periodically and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards achieving your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7741 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am 40 years old and I would like retire at 60. I have mutual funds amounting to Rs 5 lakh, EPF of Rs 9 lakh and FD and RD of Rs 16 lakh. I earn Rs 18 lakh per annum. Where and how much should I invest to get Rs 2 lakh per month. Thank you
Ans: Assessing Your Financial Situation
You're in a commendable position with a good foundation for retirement planning. Let's delve into your assets and objectives.

Current Assets Evaluation
Kudos on your prudent savings strategy, which includes Mutual Funds, EPF, and FD/RD.
Your Mutual Funds and EPF indicate a balanced approach towards retirement planning.
Understanding Your Goals
Retiring at 60 is a realistic goal considering your current financial standing and income.
Your aim of Rs 2 lakh per month post-retirement reflects a comfortable lifestyle choice.
Crafting a Retirement Plan
Given your current assets and income, achieving Rs 2 lakh per month post-retirement requires strategic planning.

Investment Strategy Recommendations
Diversification is key. Allocate your investments across various asset classes.
Consider Equity Mutual Funds for long-term growth potential.
Debt Funds can provide stability and regular income, aligning with your retirement goal.
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) in Mutual Funds can help you capitalize on rupee-cost averaging.
Income Generation Plan
With Rs 5 lakh in Mutual Funds, you can aim for growth-oriented funds for capital appreciation.
EPF of Rs 9 lakh provides a secure foundation. Ensure it's aligned with your risk appetite.
Utilize Rs 16 lakh from FD/RD for Debt Funds to generate stable income.
Regular Monitoring and Review
Periodically review your portfolio's performance and adjust strategies accordingly.
Stay informed about market trends and economic indicators to make informed decisions.
Conclusion
Your disciplined savings approach and clear retirement goals lay a solid foundation for your future financial security. By adopting a diversified investment strategy and regularly monitoring your portfolio, you're well on your way to achieving your retirement aspirations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7741 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello sir, I am 44 years old. I want to save around 1.5 Crore by I turn 50. How much and in which mutual funds I have to invest to do this? Kindly advise
Ans: Saving Rs 1.5 crore in six years is ambitious but achievable with disciplined investing. Let's dive into the details and create a strategic plan tailored to your needs.

Understanding Your Goal
You aim to accumulate Rs 1.5 crore by the age of 50. Given you are 44 now, you have six years to achieve this target. This requires a structured investment approach.

Importance of a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help design a personalized investment strategy. They understand market trends, risk management, and optimal asset allocation, ensuring your financial goals are met efficiently.

The Power of Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are a popular investment vehicle due to their diversification and professional management. Investing in mutual funds can help achieve high returns, leveraging the power of compounding over time.

Active vs. Passive Funds
Though index funds are passive, actively managed funds offer potential for higher returns. Fund managers actively select stocks, aiming to outperform the market. This active management can help achieve your Rs 1.5 crore goal faster.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Direct funds often seem appealing due to lower expense ratios. However, regular funds come with professional advice and monitoring from an MFD with CFP credentials. This guidance can make a significant difference in achieving your financial objectives.

Investment Strategy
Assessing Risk Appetite
Your risk tolerance will shape your investment strategy. At 44, with a goal in six years, a balanced approach combining equity and debt funds may be ideal. Equity funds can drive growth, while debt funds provide stability.

Diversification
Diversification reduces risk by spreading investments across various asset classes. A well-diversified portfolio ensures better risk-adjusted returns.

Equity Mutual Funds
Large Cap Funds
Large cap funds invest in well-established companies with stable returns. These funds are less volatile, making them a safer choice for a significant portion of your investment.

Mid Cap Funds
Mid cap funds invest in companies with potential for higher growth. Though riskier than large caps, they can provide higher returns, contributing to your goal.

Small Cap Funds
Small cap funds, while volatile, offer substantial growth potential. Allocating a small portion here can boost overall returns.

Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi cap funds provide flexibility by investing across market capitalizations. This adaptability can help balance risk and returns.

Debt Mutual Funds
Short-Term Debt Funds
Short-term debt funds are less sensitive to interest rate changes. They offer stable returns, making them suitable for conservative investors.

Dynamic Bond Funds
Dynamic bond funds adjust portfolios based on interest rate movements. They provide an opportunity for higher returns while managing risk.

Balanced Advantage Funds
Balanced advantage funds dynamically adjust between equity and debt. This balance can provide growth while managing volatility.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Regular SIPs
Regular SIPs ensure disciplined investing, averaging out market volatility. This methodical approach is crucial for long-term wealth creation.

Top-Up SIPs
Top-up SIPs increase investment amounts periodically. This strategy can enhance your corpus, aligning with increasing income and financial goals.

Lump Sum Investments
Market Opportunities
Investing lump sums during market corrections can yield higher returns. This approach requires market awareness and timely action.

Debt Fund Parking
Parking a lump sum in debt funds initially, then systematically transferring to equity funds, balances risk and optimizes returns.

Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regular Reviews
Regular portfolio reviews ensure alignment with goals. Adjusting investments based on performance and market conditions is essential.

Rebalancing
Rebalancing maintains the desired asset allocation. It involves shifting funds between equity and debt based on market performance and risk appetite.

Tax Efficiency
Equity Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS)
ELSS funds offer tax benefits under Section 80C, with a three-year lock-in period. They combine tax savings with growth potential.

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG) Tax
LTCG tax on equity investments beyond one year is 10% for gains exceeding Rs 1 lakh. Efficient tax planning can optimize post-tax returns.

The Role of Professional Guidance
Personalized Advice
A CFP provides personalized advice, considering your financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance. Their expertise ensures a well-crafted investment strategy.

Market Insights
CFPs have access to market insights and research. This knowledge helps in selecting high-performing funds and avoiding pitfalls.


Your goal of saving Rs 1.5 crore for a secure future shows your commitment to financial stability. It’s a commendable objective, and I understand the challenges involved. With the right strategy, it's achievable.

Encouraging Discipline
Staying disciplined with your investments, despite market fluctuations, is crucial. Regular investing, rebalancing, and professional guidance will keep you on track.

Final Insights
Saving Rs 1.5 crore in six years requires a structured and disciplined approach. Investing in a diversified portfolio of actively managed mutual funds can help achieve this goal. Regular reviews and rebalancing, coupled with professional guidance from a CFP, ensure your investments stay aligned with your objectives.

Stay committed to your plan, and you will likely achieve your financial goal.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

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Hello, I went to kota in class 11 in 2019 I was a below average student there but as soon as my class 12 session was to be started I already started studying the syllabus and was determined that I will crack neet in my first attempt any how but suddenly Covid came and I went back to home ,online classes started but after two months suddenly my mental health started deteriorating and eventually I was rushed to various doctors and finally to a psychiatrist , after a few months of constant visits etc I got diagnosed with schizophrenia ,my medications started heavily impacting my sleep,apettite,emotions etc. my studies got completely stopped slowly slowly till neet 2021 I was in that situation that I can just only sit in exam with no preparation at all I scored very very less again next year as I was not much well I got very less in neet 2022 same story in neet 2023 too then for neet 2024 I started studying a little bit due to not studying properly since two three years I was not studying properly I just watched yt videoes on how to study that ,how to do this and that regarding studies I mean I only accumulated knowledge but didn't took actions which ruined my neet 2024 result too .now my parents enrolled me in a regular central government college in bsc zoology hons. Inside me too for some time I accepted it and tried to move on but unable to do that bcoz I wanted to be a doctor since childhood and also have keen interest in medical study it's almost time for neet 2025 but I am unprepared due to not arriving at a firm decision but now I am almost healthy and decided to prepare for neet 2026 will it be worth the decision? I want to try atleast once with my full potential and dedication rest results will be in god's hands Or should I not prepare and focus on anything else?
Ans: Dear Harsh,
Any competitive entrance exam requires focus, discipline and a lot of hard work. Unfortunately due to your circumstances, this hasn't been possible.
Your parents possibly don't want you to go through the disappointment all over again and feel that a regular degree will get your feet back on the ground. Now, whether you must write NEET again or not is a decision you will have to take BUT only if you have a firm plan in hand. You will need to get back all your focus and give it your best shot. Now, how important is this exam for you and why you want to take it, is something only you know. You will also need your parents' support in case you decide to go for it after all, so also consult with them. If you are able to inspire yourself, then you know what is to be done.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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I am 48, male, divorced from my wife. I have a 12 year old daughter. I am in love with a colleague in my office who is also married and seeking divorce. We have known each other for 3 years. Her husband recently found about us and has since decided to delay the divorce proceedings. He is not consenting for mutual divorce. While we love and support each other, this new development is now affecting our relationship. Her husband doesn't appreciate us meeting or talking at work or texting each other. He is unecessarily harassing her to make it seem like I am the villain and she should feel guilty about choosing to divorce at the age of 45. I don't see how it is my fault. But I don't want her to go through this pain of dealing with a guy who she doesn't want to live with. Please suggest what I can do to help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What can you do other than just be by her side and simply understand her situation?
Her husband perhaps feels threatened by another male stepping in and hence delaying the divorce or not consenting to it will drag this whole thing...On your part, do not get so emotionally invested that it begins to take a toll on your peace of mind. This situation isn't going to be an easy one and it will just stretch your emotional band very thin; both for you and the lady. So, take it slow and it may help not being in the radar much so that the husband also backs off. It's sadly called - playing games.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7741 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Money
I am 62 years old.I have 1 Crore at present.I have health insurance for 25 Lakhs.I want to draw an amount of 50,000 per month through systematic withdrawal plan form mutual funds.After my life i want to give a huge Corpus to my son from this investments.Please advice me for my retirement planning.
Ans: 1. Understanding Your Financial Needs
You have Rs 1 crore at present.
You want Rs 50,000 per month through a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP).
The objective is to generate enough income to meet your monthly needs and create wealth for your son.
2. Withdrawal Strategy: SWP Setup
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) is a smart way to create a monthly income.
You need to ensure that the capital remains growing even while withdrawals happen.
Your goal of Rs 50,000 per month is about Rs 6 lakh per year.
Your Rs 1 crore corpus needs to generate this amount.
A balanced portfolio of equity and debt will help in managing risk while offering growth.
A well-planned SWP structure will ensure that your corpus grows, even with withdrawals.
3. Investment Strategy for Long-Term Stability and Growth
Equity investments are ideal for growth, especially in the first few years.
Debt funds provide stability, reducing volatility in your portfolio.
Mutual funds can be actively managed to meet both income and growth objectives.
Avoid index funds as they lack active management. They follow the market, so they cannot provide higher returns than actively managed funds.
Direct funds, while cheaper, have no expert oversight.
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures you get expert guidance, which enhances returns.
4. Asset Allocation
A balanced asset allocation helps grow your wealth while ensuring stability.
Start with around 40% equity, 40% debt, and 20% in safer assets like gold.
Equities will generate higher returns over time, while debt will give stability.
Gold helps hedge against inflation and provides diversification.
Over time, gradually reduce equity exposure and increase debt allocation to preserve capital.
5. Managing Risk
Risk management is key in your case, especially with a fixed withdrawal amount.
You don’t want to dip into the principal too soon, so focus on risk-adjusted returns.
A combination of mid-cap, large-cap, and hybrid funds provides both stability and growth potential.
Debt mutual funds with shorter durations help balance the risk and returns.
A portion should be allocated to liquid funds or short-term debt funds for emergencies.
6. Health Insurance and Emergency Planning
You already have Rs 25 lakh health insurance, which is a great start.
With rising medical costs, you may need to consider increasing coverage over time.
Set aside an emergency fund equivalent to at least 6 months of expenses in liquid funds.
Ensure that your health insurance is comprehensive and covers critical illnesses.
7. Creating a Legacy for Your Son
You want to leave a substantial corpus for your son.
Your investments should be structured to grow over time, even after your lifetime.
A combination of equity, hybrid funds, and a small percentage in gold can work well.
To ensure the corpus grows, focus on reinvesting dividends and returns.
Also, consider setting up a trust or nominee to ensure your assets are transferred smoothly.
8. Tax Planning for Retirement
Focus on tax-efficient investments.
Long-term capital gains on equity funds are tax-free after a certain holding period.
Debt funds may have a tax advantage if held for more than 3 years.
Take advantage of tax-saving mutual funds if you are eligible for deductions.
Regular review of your tax liabilities helps in keeping your investments tax-efficient.
9. Monitoring and Rebalancing Your Portfolio
Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it’s in line with your retirement goals.
Rebalancing annually will keep your asset allocation on track.
Keep track of your SWP withdrawals and adjust based on market performance.
As you get closer to your desired age, you can reduce equity exposure and increase debt allocation.
10. Avoiding Certain Investment Options
Avoid investing in annuities, as they don’t provide flexibility.
Investment-cum-insurance plans like ULIPs should be reconsidered.
These have high charges and offer lower returns compared to mutual funds.
Insurance should be separate from your investments to achieve higher returns.
Consider surrendering any such policies and reinvesting the amount in mutual funds for better growth.
11. Health and Long-Term Care Planning
Long-term care and medical expenses should be factored in.
After retirement, you may not have a regular income, so insurance will help.
Consider building a portion of your portfolio to cover these needs.
12. Legacy Planning and Nomination
Ensure you have a clear will and nominations for all your assets.
Mutual funds and other investments should have a designated nominee.
This helps transfer assets to your son easily after your lifetime.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner to streamline this process.
13. Review Your Plan Regularly
Keep reviewing your financial goals annually.
Adjust your strategy if there are major changes in market conditions or personal goals.
Your retirement portfolio should be flexible to handle changes in market conditions.
Ensure that any new goals or needs are factored into your investment planning.
Final Insights
Your Rs 1 crore is a great base for building a secure retirement.
Balance your portfolio to generate income while keeping the principal intact.
Actively managed funds are the best choice for long-term wealth generation.
Regular monitoring and a disciplined SWP strategy will help meet your goals.
Build a legacy for your son by ensuring that your investments grow even after your lifetime.
Health insurance, tax planning, and estate planning should be integral to your strategy.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7741 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

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Hello Ramalingam sir. Good day. I'm looking to invest 20L for long term (min 10Y). Please advise how should I diversify the same?
Ans: Investing Rs 20 lakh for the long term requires careful planning. A well-diversified portfolio balances risk and return. Below is a structured approach to diversification.

Understanding Long-Term Investing
Long-term investing builds wealth over time.

A well-diversified portfolio reduces risk.

Regular monitoring is essential for success.

Asset Allocation Strategy
Spreading investments across different asset classes is important.

Asset allocation should match risk tolerance and goals.

Rebalancing every year ensures stability.

Equity Investments for Growth
Equity investments provide higher returns over time.

Investing in quality mutual funds ensures professional management.

Actively managed funds perform better than index funds.

Mid-cap and small-cap funds can give high growth.

A mix of large, mid, and small caps balances risk.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures better fund selection.

Debt Investments for Stability
Debt investments provide steady returns.

They reduce overall portfolio risk.

Corporate bonds and debt funds offer better returns than fixed deposits.

Government bonds are secure but have lower returns.

A portion of capital in debt instruments gives stability.

Gold for Hedging
Gold acts as a hedge against inflation.

5-10% of the portfolio in gold is beneficial.

Sovereign gold bonds provide interest and capital appreciation.

Gold ETFs and digital gold are convenient options.

International Exposure for Diversification
Investing in global funds provides currency diversification.

Exposure to international markets enhances portfolio strength.

Developed market funds offer stability.

Emerging market funds provide growth opportunities.

Investing in REITs for Real Estate Exposure
Real estate investment trusts (REITs) provide real estate exposure.

They generate rental income and capital appreciation.

REITs are more liquid than physical real estate.

Avoiding Insurance-Based Investments
Investment-cum-insurance plans give poor returns.

ULIPs have high charges and low flexibility.

Insurance should be separate from investments.

Emergency Fund Allocation
Always keep an emergency fund ready.

Three to six months of expenses should be in a liquid fund.

This ensures financial security during unforeseen events.

Tax-Efficient Investing
Investing in tax-saving funds reduces tax liability.

Long-term capital gains from equities are tax-efficient.

Debt investments should be chosen based on tax benefits.

A Certified Financial Planner helps in tax-efficient planning.

SIP vs. Lump Sum Investment
Systematic investment plans (SIPs) reduce market timing risk.

Lump sum investments work well in market corrections.

A combination of SIP and lump sum is effective.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Portfolio performance should be reviewed yearly.

Rebalancing ensures asset allocation stays aligned with goals.

Market fluctuations require adjustments.

Final Insights
A well-diversified portfolio ensures wealth creation.

Equity, debt, gold, and international funds balance returns and risk.

A Certified Financial Planner helps in building a strong investment plan.

Monitoring investments ensures long-term success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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Anu mam, I am 21 about to graduate this year. So I am a single child and I just got to know that my parents are planning to separate. They are both seeing different people but none of them have cared to sit down and discuss this with me. I am old enough to make decisions. But I feel betrayed by my own parents. I don't have siblings or cousins with whom I can discuss this. I mean, what happens to me after my parents separate? Where will I stay? What about home? Both my parents are travelling or working late so we hardly spend time together at home to have a conversation. I have suggested several times that I want to talk but there is no response from either of them. There is always some urgent work to attend, some family event coming up and this gets brushed aside. I feel like I am not even their child any more. They have both mentally moved on... and I feel betrayed, lonely. I don't know what to do. Can you help?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear that. It is never easy to understand when your parents are planning to separate and it leaves you with a lot of questions when left unanswered can lead to a very unsettled feeling.
Perhaps they are still wondering how to break the news to you. If they have been avoiding this topic, then it is evident that they are not ready to tell you or it's still in an awkward phase.
You are 21 and obviously there's no point hiding this from you anymore. Make a dinner plan outside of home where they will not be able to move about and cite urgent work etc. Mid-way through dinner, ask them...they may deny or one of them may walk out; but at least they know that you are aware and will want to talk about it eventually. The path to a conversation has opened then and then you can make a plan about how to go about it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

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Relationship
Me 38ki hu mera bf 28ka wo mujhse sucha pyar krta hai shaadi bi Krna hai usko but bola ki me 2cr kmalu tb krunga t shaadi usne ghr me baat bhi ni ki apne na mere ki confirm krde ki shaadi t krunga or sagai krle usne BTech science kri hai wo mera office me lga jha selry 18k hai but maine kha ki tum apni qualification me hisaab se khi or job krlo jha 50k mile taki tum mere ghr walo se shaadi ki baat kr sko humre riste ko 4saal ho gye hai but usko m bhoat smjhaya ki khi or job krlo set ho jaye but ni ki or is office me job krha jha 18k milre hai usko fir bolta hai ki me 2cr acount me ho tb me Shaadi krunga tumse but mere ghr wale pressure krhe hai alg or ye koi faisla ni lera hai me kya kru
Ans: Dear Tiya,
Uske paas tumse zyaada waqt hai umar ke hisaab se isiliye woh yeh bol paa raha hai. Woh galat nahin na tum galat ho. Dono apni apni jagah sahi ho.
Aapko apni life mein kya chahiye? Shaadi aur ek pariwaar? Toh aapko yahi sochna chahiye ki kya yeh aapka bf samajhta hai aur kya is waqt woh yeh aapko de paayega. Kamaai ki baare mein bol rahaa hai woh; woh 2 Cr kitne saal aur lagenge? Kya aap intezaar karna chahoge? Agar nahin, toh is waqt woh bhi shaadi nahin karna chahte...toh aap unko majboor nahin kar sakte...Aaraam se soch vichaar kar lijiye aur ek nateeje par aana. Aap intezaar hi karte rahoge aur umar bhi nikla jaayega...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

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