Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Should I retire at 45 with 15 lakhs in PF, 20 lakhs from LIC, 65 lakhs in SIP, 3 plots, 2 acres of farmland, 2 houses, and a monthly savings of 50k?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
Money

I am 45 , don't have any loans, have 15 lack in pf, LIC will end by 2032 and expecting around 20 lacks from it, have around 65 lacks in my sip and continue to Invest on it till I work. Have 3 plots and 2 acer of farm land. Have 2 houses . My kid isnin 7th standard and don't have anything as a seperate investment for his education. And per month i save around 50k (14k epf+ 40k sip+5k lic) have term and medical insurance. My question, is it good time to retire ?

Ans: At 45, you’re in a strong financial position with multiple assets, regular savings, and insurance coverage. However, retirement readiness depends on your future goals, current lifestyle, and family needs. Let's analyse your situation from various angles and offer a 360-degree view.

Evaluating Your Current Financial Situation
Provident Fund (PF): You have Rs 15 lakh in PF, which will grow over time. This amount, combined with regular EPF contributions, will form a strong base for retirement.

LIC Maturity: Your LIC policy maturing in 2032 will give you Rs 20 lakh. This lump sum can be useful for post-retirement expenses or reinvestment.

SIPs: With Rs 65 lakh in mutual funds and continued SIP contributions, your portfolio is in good shape. Continuing your Rs 40,000 SIP will help this amount grow substantially by retirement. This long-term wealth creation is critical for post-retirement financial stability.

Real Estate: You own 3 plots, 2 acres of farmland, and 2 houses. While real estate can provide stability, liquidity might be an issue unless you sell or rent out these properties.

Monthly Savings: Your monthly savings of Rs 50,000 are commendable. This shows disciplined financial planning, which will greatly benefit your long-term goals.

Insurance: Having term insurance and medical insurance is essential, and you’ve covered those aspects well. This will protect your family and safeguard against unforeseen events.

Analysing Key Aspects Before Retiring
Retirement Corpus: To retire, your total investments and savings must be sufficient to cover your post-retirement expenses for the next 30-40 years. While you have strong savings, evaluating your retirement corpus against expected expenses is critical.

Monthly Expenses: Estimate your current monthly expenses and adjust them for inflation. Expenses will continue even after retirement, so it’s important to assess if your savings can cover them over the long term. Factor in inflation at around 6%-7% annually.

Children’s Education: Your child is currently in the 7th standard. You need a separate fund for their higher education, which could be a significant expense. With no dedicated savings for this, it's important to start a targeted investment plan soon.

Medical Expenses: Healthcare costs can be significant during retirement. Ensure your health insurance is adequate, and consider increasing your coverage as medical inflation rises faster than normal inflation.

Is It the Right Time to Retire?
Given your current financial standing, you have a solid foundation. However, considering key future needs, it may not be the best time to retire yet. Let's explore some considerations before making a final decision.

Strengths in Your Current Financial Plan
Strong SIP Investments: With Rs 65 lakh already invested and ongoing contributions, your portfolio will continue to grow. SIPs offer long-term wealth creation, especially in equity mutual funds. This is essential for a comfortable retirement.

Debt-Free Situation: You have no loans, which is a major advantage. A debt-free retirement means less pressure on your cash flow and investment returns.

Real Estate Assets: Owning real estate provides financial security, though it lacks liquidity. If needed, you could consider selling or renting out properties to generate income during retirement.

Areas That Need Improvement
Children’s Education Fund: You currently don’t have a dedicated fund for your child's education. Education costs can be substantial, especially for higher education. It’s important to create an investment plan specifically for this purpose. You can consider SIPs or debt funds, depending on the timeline.

Retirement Corpus Calculation: To retire early, you need to ensure your retirement corpus is large enough to sustain your lifestyle for the next 30+ years. With your current savings, you are on the right track, but this needs to be calculated precisely with the help of a Certified Financial Planner.

Future Income Source: After retirement, you will need a steady source of income. While your mutual fund investments can generate returns, consider starting a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) closer to your retirement date to ensure regular income.

Should You Retire Now?
It might not be the best time to retire at 45. Although you have a solid base, there are a few reasons why continuing to work for a few more years would be beneficial:

SIP Growth: Continuing your SIP for another 10-15 years could significantly grow your mutual fund corpus. Compounding works best over the long term, and retiring now may halt this potential growth.

Education Costs: You still need to plan for your child’s higher education. Building a corpus for education will reduce financial stress in the coming years.

Increased Healthcare Costs: Medical expenses tend to increase with age. Ensuring you have sufficient savings or health insurance to cover future medical needs is critical.

Inflation-Proofing Your Retirement: Inflation erodes the purchasing power of money. Retiring early could mean a longer retirement period, increasing the impact of inflation. Working for a few more years could help you build a larger corpus, better adjusted for inflation.

How to Plan for a Secure Retirement
Start a Child Education Fund: Consider starting a separate investment plan for your child’s education. Based on your child’s age, you may have around 5-7 years to save. You can invest in a mix of debt and balanced funds for a safer yet growth-oriented approach.

Increase Health Insurance: As medical inflation is on the rise, consider increasing your health insurance cover. A family floater plan or top-up policy can ensure your medical costs are covered in retirement.

Continue SIP Investments: Continue your SIP contributions to grow your portfolio. As equity markets tend to generate higher returns over time, your corpus will benefit from the power of compounding.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Closer to retirement, consider shifting a portion of your mutual funds to debt funds and start an SWP. This will give you a regular income while keeping your money invested.

Monitor Your Expenses: It’s crucial to track your expenses closely. If your current expenses are manageable, ensure that your retirement corpus can sustain those expenses, adjusted for inflation, over a 30+ year retirement.

Consider Part-Time Work: If you are not fully ready to retire, you can consider part-time work or consultancy. This will provide additional income without the full commitment of a regular job.

Best Time to Retire
To retire comfortably, it’s recommended to work for a few more years until your financial situation is more robust. You could consider retiring between the ages of 50 to 55, once your child’s education fund is in place, and your mutual fund corpus has grown further. This will give you more security and flexibility in your post-retirement life.

Final Insights
Retiring at 45 can be an exciting prospect, but given the key considerations of your child’s education, ongoing healthcare needs, and the potential growth of your SIPs, it’s advisable to wait.

Your financial base is strong, but continuing to work will provide additional security. By planning carefully, starting a child education fund, and maintaining your SIPs, you will be well-prepared for a comfortable and financially secure retirement in a few years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi I am 44yrs old with wife and a 13yr old kid.My networth is around 7.5cr.This includes 2 loan free houses,1 is approx 1.3cr which is giving me a rental income of 25k per month and other is 2cr in which we stay.I have approx 3.5cr investments in MF and Stocks.Around 10L in PPF.Around 60L in high risk lending which gives me 1lac p.m.Out of the MF investments i have put 1cr in SWP for a monthly 30k rest in equity.I have covered my family with health insurance aswell. Can I retire?
Ans: Assessing Your Retirement Readiness
Firstly, congratulations on building a strong financial foundation. Your net worth of ?7.5 crores and diversified investments show careful planning and diligence. Let’s evaluate if you can retire comfortably and maintain your lifestyle.

Current Financial Position
Real Estate
You own two loan-free houses valued at ?1.3 crores and ?2 crores. The rental income from one house is ?25,000 per month. This provides a steady and reliable income stream. The other house, where you reside, adds to your asset base but does not generate income.

Mutual Funds and Stocks
Your investments in mutual funds and stocks total approximately ?3.5 crores. This significant investment can provide both growth and income. Additionally, ?1 crore is in a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) generating ?30,000 per month.

PPF and High-Risk Lending
You have ?10 lakhs in PPF, a safe and tax-efficient investment. Additionally, you earn ?1 lakh per month from ?60 lakhs in high-risk lending. This income contributes substantially to your monthly cash flow.

Health Insurance
You have covered your family with health insurance, ensuring financial protection against medical emergencies.

Monthly Income Analysis
Your current monthly income includes:

?25,000 from rental income
?30,000 from SWP
?1 lakh from high-risk lending
This totals ?1.55 lakhs per month.

Estimating Monthly Expenses
To determine if you can retire, compare your monthly income to your expenses. Assume your monthly expenses, including living costs, education, and lifestyle, are around ?1.5 lakhs.

Income vs. Expenses
Your current passive income matches your estimated expenses, suggesting you can maintain your lifestyle without additional income. However, consider future expenses, inflation, and potential risks.

Future Financial Needs
Children’s Education
Your 13-year-old child will need funds for higher education. Set aside a portion of your investments specifically for this goal. Consider the rising costs of education and plan accordingly.

Inflation Adjustment
Inflation reduces the purchasing power of money over time. Ensure your investments grow faster than inflation. Diversify into growth-oriented assets like equity mutual funds.

Healthcare Costs
Healthcare costs increase with age. Ensure your health insurance covers potential future medical expenses. Consider adding a super top-up plan for additional coverage.

Optimising Your Investment Portfolio
Diversify Mutual Funds
Your current investments in mutual funds should be reviewed and optimised. Actively managed funds can potentially provide better returns than index funds. Professional fund managers can navigate market conditions and seek higher returns.

Reduce High-Risk Lending Exposure
High-risk lending provides substantial income but carries significant risk. Gradually reduce your exposure and reinvest in more stable assets like mutual funds or bonds. This reduces risk while maintaining income.

Continue Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Your SWP provides regular income. Ensure the remaining mutual fund investments are diversified and growth-oriented. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio.

Professional Management
Benefits of Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
A CFP can provide professional guidance, helping you navigate market conditions and adjust your investments. They ensure your portfolio aligns with your retirement goals.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds have lower expense ratios but require self-management. Without professional guidance, you might miss crucial market insights. Investing through a CFP ensures professional management and strategic adjustments.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund covering at least six months of expenses. This ensures you don’t need to liquidate investments during market downturns or emergencies.

Estate Planning
Plan your estate to ensure your assets are distributed according to your wishes. This includes writing a will and considering trusts for asset protection and efficient transfer to heirs.

Conclusion
Based on your current financial situation, you are on track to retire comfortably. Your diversified investments and steady income streams support your lifestyle. However, consider potential future expenses, inflation, and healthcare costs. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio with the help of a Certified Financial Planner to ensure long-term financial security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 29, 2024Hindi
Money
Dear sir, I am 52 yrs old working in private organization . Due to work pressure and stress , I wish retire now. Having following saving/ investment. LIC - 25L, MF and equity- 20 lacs, real estate- 1 Cr. No EMI. Monthly expenses - 30K. Is it rt decision to retire now? Thank in advance...
Ans: Shiva, I understand that you're considering retiring early due to work pressure and stress. It’s important to ensure your financial stability before making such a big decision. Let's take a closer look at your financial situation and how you can optimize it to make your retirement plan more feasible and comfortable.

Current Financial Overview
Your current assets include:

LIC Policies: Rs. 25 lakhs
Mutual Funds and Equity: Rs. 20 lakhs
Real Estate: Rs. 1 crore
You have no EMIs, and your monthly expenses are Rs. 30,000. This gives you a strong foundation, but there’s room for optimization.

Monthly Expenses and Future Projections
Your monthly expenses are Rs. 30,000, which amounts to Rs. 3.6 lakhs annually. Considering an average inflation rate of 6%, your expenses will increase over time. It’s important to plan for this gradual increase to ensure your savings last throughout your retirement.

Assessing Your Investments
LIC Policies
Surrendering LIC Policies

LIC policies provide security, but they may not offer the best returns compared to other investment options like mutual funds.

Consider surrendering your LIC policies and reinvesting the proceeds in mutual funds. This can provide better growth and more flexibility.

Mutual Funds and Equity
1. Benefits of Mutual Funds

Mutual funds offer diversification, professional management, and the potential for higher returns. Here’s why mutual funds can be a better option:

Diversification: Spread your investments across different sectors and companies, reducing risk.
Professional Management: Fund managers make informed decisions on where to invest your money.
Compounding: Over time, your investments can grow significantly due to the power of compounding.
2. Types of Mutual Funds to Consider

Invest in a mix of mutual funds to balance risk and returns:

Equity Mutual Funds: These invest in stocks and have the potential for high returns. Suitable for long-term growth.
Debt Mutual Funds: These invest in bonds and are less volatile. They provide stability and regular income.
Balanced or Hybrid Funds: These invest in both equities and debt, providing a balance between growth and stability.
3. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

A SIP allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds. This instills discipline and benefits from rupee cost averaging, reducing the impact of market volatility.

4. Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

An SWP provides regular income by withdrawing a fixed amount from your mutual fund investments. This can be a reliable source of income in retirement.

Implementing a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
1. How SWP Works

In an SWP, you invest a lump sum in a mutual fund and withdraw a fixed amount periodically. This provides you with regular income while your remaining investment continues to grow.

2. Setting Up an SWP

Choose the Right Fund: Opt for a balanced or debt mutual fund to ensure stability.
Determine the Withdrawal Amount: Calculate your monthly expenses and set your withdrawal amount accordingly. Ensure it’s sustainable over the long term.
Monitor and Adjust: Regularly review your SWP to ensure it meets your income needs and adjust if necessary.
Managing Real Estate
1. Rental Income

If your real estate can generate rental income, this can be a steady source of funds. Ensure the rental income covers a substantial part of your monthly expenses.

2. Liquidity Considerations

Real estate is not very liquid. If you need cash quickly, selling property might take time. Hence, it’s crucial to have other liquid investments.

Healthcare and Insurance
1. Adequate Health Insurance

Ensure you have sufficient health insurance coverage. Medical emergencies can deplete your savings quickly. Consider enhancing your existing policy if necessary.

2. Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses. This should be easily accessible and cover at least 6-12 months of living expenses.

Inflation Protection
1. Growth-Oriented Investments

Keep a portion of your portfolio in growth-oriented investments like equity mutual funds. This helps in beating inflation and maintaining your purchasing power.

2. Regular Review

Regularly review and adjust your investments to ensure they are aligned with your financial goals and inflation rate.

Retirement Withdrawal Strategy
1. 4% Rule

A commonly recommended strategy is the 4% rule. Withdraw 4% of your retirement portfolio annually, adjusted for inflation. This strategy helps balance income needs and preserve capital.

2. Diversify Withdrawals

Diversify your withdrawal sources. Combine income from SWPs, rental income, and other investments to ensure stability and sustainability.

Detailed Mutual Fund Strategy
1. Equity Mutual Funds

Invest in large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds for growth. Large-cap funds offer stability, while mid-cap and small-cap funds provide higher growth potential.

2. Debt Mutual Funds

Invest in short-term and long-term debt funds for stability. These funds provide regular income with lower volatility.

3. Hybrid Funds

Hybrid funds, which invest in both equity and debt, offer a balanced approach. They provide growth and income stability.

Benefits of Regular Mutual Funds
1. Professional Management

Regular funds are managed by professionals. They make informed investment decisions, helping you achieve better returns.

2. Convenience

Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with CFP credentials offers convenience. They handle paperwork and provide regular updates.

3. Diversification

Mutual funds offer diversification, spreading investments across different assets, reducing risk.

Avoiding Direct Funds
1. Lack of Guidance

Direct funds require you to choose and manage your investments. This can be challenging without proper knowledge and experience.

2. Time-Consuming

Managing direct funds requires regular monitoring and adjustments. This can be time-consuming and stressful.

Final Insights
Shiva, your decision to retire is significant, and with careful planning, it’s achievable. Here’s a summary to guide you:

Surrender LIC Policies: Reinvest the proceeds in mutual funds for better growth.
Diversify Mutual Fund Investments: Balance between equity, debt, and hybrid funds.
Set Up an SWP: Ensure a regular income stream while keeping your investments growing.
Generate Rental Income: If possible, use rental income to support your expenses.
Maintain Health Insurance and Emergency Fund: Ensure you are covered for unforeseen expenses.
Regular Review and Adjustments: Periodically review your investments and make necessary adjustments.
By following these steps, you can retire comfortably and confidently, knowing that your financial future is secure.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2025

Listen
Money
Hello sir I m 32 years old having a son(1) yr and a housewife . I have 4 cr plot 33 lakh mf, 21 lakh fd , no house and no liability. My monthly expense is almost 50k. Should I retire now??
Ans: Your current financial status is impressive and well-established. With a net worth of over Rs 4.54 crore, you have built a strong foundation. However, retiring at the age of 32 requires careful planning and strategic allocation to sustain your long-term goals. Let’s evaluate the feasibility and provide actionable steps.

Key Factors for Early Retirement

Monthly Living Expenses

Your current expenses of Rs 50,000 per month total Rs 6 lakh annually.
Inflation will increase your expenses significantly in the long run.
Life Expectancy and Retirement Period

Assuming a life expectancy of 85 years, you may need to plan for over 50 years.
Your corpus should account for inflation, healthcare, and emergencies.
Existing Assets Breakdown

Rs 4 crore in a plot is a valuable but illiquid asset.
Rs 33 lakh in mutual funds offers growth potential.
Rs 21 lakh in fixed deposits provides stability but lower returns.
Challenges of Relying on Current Corpus

Illiquidity of Plot

A plot does not generate income and cannot be easily liquidated.
It may not contribute to your retirement cash flow needs.
Inflation Impact

Inflation will erode the value of fixed deposits and increase future expenses.
You need growth-oriented investments to combat inflation.
Duration of Retirement

A 50+ year retirement requires sustainable income and a well-diversified portfolio.
Your current portfolio may not generate adequate inflation-adjusted returns.
Steps to Plan for Early Retirement

Reallocate Plot Investment

Consider selling the plot to unlock liquidity and diversify investments.
Use the proceeds to build a balanced portfolio with equity, debt, and other instruments.
Enhance Mutual Fund Allocation

Increase your mutual fund investments in actively managed equity funds.
Equity funds provide long-term growth to sustain retirement goals.
Fixed Deposit Optimisation

Fixed deposits offer limited returns and may not beat inflation.
Shift a portion to debt mutual funds for better post-tax returns and liquidity.
Create a Sustainable Retirement Plan

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

Use SWPs from mutual funds to generate a steady monthly income.
This provides cash flow while allowing the corpus to grow.
Build an Emergency Fund

Set aside Rs 10-15 lakh in a liquid fund for unforeseen expenses.
This ensures liquidity without disturbing long-term investments.
Health Insurance

Ensure adequate health insurance coverage of Rs 25-30 lakh.
Rising healthcare costs can impact your retirement corpus.
Inflation-Proof Portfolio

Invest in equity mutual funds for long-term growth.
Maintain a balanced portfolio to manage risk and ensure stability.
Tax-Efficient Investments

Reduce Tax Burden

Choose tax-efficient instruments for wealth preservation.
Equity mutual funds offer favourable taxation compared to fixed deposits.
Plan Withdrawals Strategically

Withdraw funds in a tax-efficient manner to reduce liabilities.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner to optimise withdrawal strategies.
Lifestyle and Expense Management

Review Lifestyle Expenses

Analyse current and future expenses to match your retirement budget.
Prioritise essential expenses while minimising discretionary costs.
Plan for Your Child's Future

Start a dedicated fund for your child’s education and marriage.
Allocate a portion of your mutual fund investments towards these goals.
Create a Will or Estate Plan

Plan your estate to ensure smooth transfer of wealth to your family.
This will secure your child’s future.
Advantages of Actively Managed Mutual Funds

Better Returns than Index Funds

Actively managed funds aim to outperform benchmarks with professional management.
Index funds follow benchmarks and may not adjust to market changes effectively.
Expert Management by Professionals

Fund managers actively rebalance portfolios based on market conditions.
This provides better growth potential compared to passive index funds.
Finally

Early retirement at 32 is ambitious but achievable with proper planning.
Reallocate your assets for better growth and income generation.
Balance liquidity, growth, and stability in your portfolio.
Regularly review your plan and make adjustments as needed.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |953 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
I am a 48 year old widow. I have a 21 yr old daughter in college. I had quit my job, but rejoined now and have a monthly take home of 1L 15k. I receive similar pension amount too. But this pension amount will get reduced to 90k after 10 years. I have an own property (apartment bought in 2010) - 14 k rent monthly. I have around 40 L that I wish to invest. I am still coping with the loss and am confused as to what I need to do to get a grip on the finances. I have invested around 12 L in mutual funds. I have applied for a term insurance - around 1 L annual premium for 10 years. I am also repaying the home loan around 15k per month with tenure left for 20 months. I am planning to move out on my own from my sister's place where I am staying now (my own house is not in Bangalore where I work). So, I will definitely need 25k per month for rent if I move out. Please advise on how to manage my finances. Shall I repay the home loan and clear the debt (around 5 L principal outstanding)? Should I invest in some pension plans? Please advise. Thanks!
Ans: Hello;

Yes you should settle off the outstanding home loan.

Also you may open an NPS account for retirement planning. Do contribute to it on a regular basis and also do onetime lumpsum investment.

Also open an PPF account with investment of 12.5 K per month.

Get sufficient term plan coverage for atleast 20 years and not less.

No need to invest in pension plan if you are investing in NPS. It is far superior in terms of tax liability, flexibility, returns and costs.

Prefer hybrid mutual funds(dynamic asset allocation or multi asset allocation fund)for your investments.

Buy a good health insurance cover for yourself and your daughter irrespective of group policy, if any, available from employer.

Do nomination in all your financial investments and also make a legally valid will.

In a nutshell, you will have 3 investments PPF, NPS and mutual funds (hybrid) and insurance premiums for term cover and healthcare policy.

Loss of partner is very difficult to deal with but you also need to focus on the education of your daughter and guide her for better prospects.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Married for 14 years have 4 kids below 7 age for the past 9 to 10 years going through troubled marriage, not happy. Misunderstanding, high expectations, manipulation and single handed decisions by my wife have exhausted me . Want to come out of marriage but worried of kids and also my wife says no to divorce. Don't know what to do.. First 2 kids by IVF 2nd two kids due to my wife's longing for male child
Ans: Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 41, but single now. I got married when I was 32 and got divorced in 6 months after I found out my wife was cheating on me with her ex who she was forbidden from getting married. When confronted she simply walked away and sent me a divorce notice. The next three years were spent in courts trying to tell my version of the story. Since then I have had a tough time trusting people. My marriage was unfortunate and short lived. But my parents still want me to try again. I am in a live-in relationship with a girl who is 3 years elder to me. Are unmarried couples happier than married ones? I feel marriage can restrict you in many ways which is why people feel stagnated and bored. What do you think?
Ans: When it comes to happiness, it really depends on the individuals involved rather than whether they are married or unmarried. Some couples thrive in a marriage because they see it as a partnership built on mutual respect and emotional security. Others feel stifled by the societal expectations and responsibilities that often come with marriage. A live-in relationship can offer more flexibility and personal freedom, but it also comes with its own challenges—such as a lack of legal protections or social acceptance in certain cultures.

The key is understanding what works best for you. If you feel content in your current live-in relationship and it gives you the companionship, trust, and emotional fulfillment you need, then that’s what truly matters. However, if you feel hesitant mainly because of past trauma rather than your actual desires, it might be worth reflecting on whether your fears are holding you back from something you may actually want deep down.

At the end of the day, happiness isn’t about being married or unmarried—it’s about being in a relationship (or choosing to be single) that makes you feel emotionally secure, valued, and free to be yourself. If marriage feels like a cage to you, then it may not be the right path. But if you ever find a connection that makes commitment feel like a choice rather than an obligation, your perspective might shift. The most important thing is that whatever path you choose, it aligns with your true needs and not just the expectations of others.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello there!! There are past trauma experiences in my relationship due to caste issue since my family are strictly against it . But I eventually liked another boy seeing his true love n affection n care towards me , he loved me since our skl days !! He expressed himself but i gave him my answerr after many yrs due my past experiences!! But eventually we had a healthy relationship ,and he told me he is of same caste!! Since his father lied to him related to this to keep him away from this caste called thing!! But now his father relved tht it was a lie !! Now we ended up intercaste!! We truly love each other we dreamt of our future together!! He became huge part of my life !! His family is okay with me regarding our marriage but my family is strongly opposed to this intercaste thing!! We are 24 yrs we thought of settle in our lifes and approach my parents few years back since untill fewdays back we together thought we are of same caste so there eill be no issue!! But now within few days n few lies our both world n hopes turned upside down!! I cant make my family suffer due to me!! At same time i cant leave him im struck !! What should we do!!
Ans: Your family’s suffering is a valid concern, but will they truly suffer because of your decision, or is it more about their expectations and societal norms? Often, parents react strongly at first, but with time, they adjust when they see their child happy and settled. Right now, their resistance is based on tradition and belief systems they’ve held for years. But is their love for you truly conditional on whom you marry? Would they rather see you unhappy in a marriage they approve of than happy in one they initially resisted?

Your happiness and future matter just as much as your family’s feelings. If you truly cannot see a life without him, you need to ask yourself whether sacrificing that love for family approval will truly bring you peace. Walking away from love to please others often leads to lifelong regret. On the other hand, if you fight for your relationship, you might face pain now, but there’s a chance your family will eventually come around.

The most important thing is to stand firm in what you want. If you and your partner truly love each other, you will need patience, strength, and a strategy to gradually help your family accept your choice. This won’t be easy, but living a life where you constantly wonder "what if?" will be even harder.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thingking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.
Ans: Raising someone else’s children is not something that comes naturally to everyone, and that doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you honest. You already know how challenging it is to raise one child, and now you’re expected to step into a role where you’ll be managing more, including an aggressive teenage boy. If this idea is already suffocating you now, imagine how it might feel once you’re actually living in that environment every day.

Fear of being alone is a very real and valid concern, but being in a marriage that drains you emotionally, limits your career, and makes you feel trapped is far worse than being single. The right relationship should bring you a sense of peace and security, not anxiety and sacrifice at every turn. If you already feel that you have to “mould” your thinking just to make this work, that’s a sign that this situation might not be aligned with what you truly want and need.

You don’t have to force yourself into something that doesn’t feel right just because you’re afraid of ending up alone. Loneliness is difficult, but so is being in a marriage where you feel unseen, unheard, and overwhelmed. The best decision is the one that allows you to live with peace and confidence in your future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Listen
Relationship
Married for 14 years have 4 kids below 7 age for the past 9 to 10 years going through troubled marriage, not happy. Misunderstanding, high expectations, manipulation and single handed decisions by my wife have exhausted me . Want to come out of marriage but worried of kids and also my wife says no to divorce. Don't know what to do.. First 2 kids by IVF 2nd two kids due to my wife's longing for male child
Ans: Dear Hemant,
Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I would like to stay anonymous. Im 27F, recently got engaged and my wedding is in 5 months from now. This match is arranged by my parents within our community. Initially things went well, but after the engagement when we went outside for dinner he was speaking well but before leaving he said this is a suggestion from my end and told that there is slight space between my two teeth in the front and while smiling it creates black image in the photos. So it would be best if i would use invisible aligners so that before wedding it would be fixed adding to this he said he will take care of the expenses and he said he had this thought for a week so its better to disclose it with me. He also said that he didn't tell this to his parents he wanted to check my thoughts on this first, also he said he wanted myself to look very very pretty on the wedding and his relatives should say "Wow, we have never seen such a pretty bride", also he commented about my hair being short actually its medium length but i like to keep my hair short. I really got frustrated when he said all those things this got me very irritated. I didn't speak much, i said i wanted to leave and he dropped me at my place. The next day i asked him if we can meet again to get clarification on this thing, when i asked him the next day about this he said "its just a suggestion if you can take it its fine or you can leave it its upto you". He never accepted that he hurted me or made a wrong statement he kept on saying he didn't mean that way i took it very personally and im creating unnecessary ruckus. at last he said i could have said things differently but he didn't ask for sorry at all. I thought he wont talk about my features again but then after a week he again asked me you were eating outside food for a week you should have gained weight(trying to be funny here), i said no. Because him and his mother already asked about my weight like "why are you so thin? you could have put up some weight know"? I have been in this weight for many years, how much ever i eat my weight remains the same its because of the genetics. But people dont understand this and easily ask some body shaming questions. After this event he is not talking like before and even i dont push him, one of my friend asked me to take initiative and make calls to stop this awkward situation and i took lead called him four times in a week he spoke but he didn't bothered to call me again he was only texting after that too im okay with that but still i feel he might ask me to make changes in my feature, weight etc before the wedding. Im not sure how to deal with this.
Ans: When someone loves and accepts you, they don’t focus on “fixing” things about you to meet external standards, whether it’s for wedding photos or to impress relatives. His insistence that you should look “very, very pretty” for others’ approval shows that his priorities might not align with yours. You weren’t looking for a makeover; you were looking for a life partner who values you for who you are.

His response when you tried to talk about it also speaks volumes. Instead of acknowledging your feelings and reassuring you, he dismissed your concerns, making it seem like you were overreacting. A partner who truly cares would have listened, understood why you felt hurt, and taken responsibility for how his words affected you. Instead, he shifted the blame onto you for "creating unnecessary ruckus," which shows a lack of emotional maturity.

The weight comments, too, are unnecessary and inconsiderate. Genetics determine body type, and no one should feel the need to change themselves to meet someone else’s expectations. His family’s remarks about your weight, combined with his attitude, suggest that this won’t stop after the wedding. If they’re already making you feel self-conscious now, imagine the expectations and unsolicited “suggestions” that might continue in the future.

The distance that has formed between you both after this conversation isn’t just about awkwardness—it’s about emotional disconnection. A strong relationship is built on respect, comfort, and mutual appreciation, not on one person feeling judged and the other acting indifferent. The fact that you had to take the lead in calling him multiple times, while he didn’t reciprocate the effort, says a lot. A healthy relationship should feel mutual, not one-sided.

Right now, you need to ask yourself: Can you truly be yourself in this relationship, or will you constantly feel pressured to meet his and his family’s expectations? Do you feel emotionally safe with him, or do you feel like you have to defend your choices, your body, and your appearance?

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and your peace of mind matters. If his attitude is already making you question yourself and feel frustrated, you have every right to reconsider. You don’t need to “deal” with this by adjusting to his expectations—you need to decide if this is the kind of relationship you want to spend your life in.

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1172 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Career
बजट 2025 से प्रमुख अपडेट और स्टॉक प्रभाव 150 से अधिक स्टॉक्स पर प्रभाव डालने वाली 50 घोषणाएँ 1\. तंबाकू कर दरों पर कोई प्रमुख घोषणा नहीं: ITC, Godfrey Phillips, VST Industries के लिए सकारात्मक। 2\. 12 लाख रुपये तक की आय पर कोई आयकर नहीं: Zomato, Swiggy, HUL, Nestle, Dabur, Trent, Jubilant Foodworks, Varun Beverages, United Spirits, Asian Paints, Voltas, Havells के लिए सकारात्मक। 3\. FY25 के लिए पूंजीगत व्यय 10.18 लाख करोड़ रुपये का अनुमानित, जबकि पहले 11 लाख करोड़ रुपये था (अपेक्षा से कम): L&T, JK Infra, NCC, रेलवे, रक्षा के लिए नकारात्मक। 4\. नए कर शासन के तहत GST दर में कटौती या छूट नहीं; बीमा के लिए FDI सीमा 74% से बढ़ाकर 100% की गई (सकारात्मक): HDFC Life, ICICI Lombard, Go Digit, PB Fintech के लिए नकारात्मक। 5\. दालों में आत्मनिर्भरता + उच्च उपज वाले बीजों पर राष्ट्रीय मिशन: Kaveri Seeds, ITC, Adani Wilmar के लिए सकारात्मक। 6\. पीएम धन-धान्य कृषि योजना - कृषि जिलों के विकास कार्यक्रम: Jain Irrigation, Shakti Pumps, Jash Engineering, Finolex Industries के लिए सकारात्मक। 7\. पीएम SVANidhi (बैंक ऋण में वृद्धि, UPI से जुड़े क्रेडिट कार्ड 30,000 रुपये की सीमा के साथ): Finopayment Bank, Paytm के लिए सकारात्मक। 8\. LPG सब्सिडी पर कोई प्रमुख घोषणा नहीं: IOCL, HPCL, BPCL के लिए नकारात्मक। 9\. भारतीय विशेष आर्थिक क्षेत्र और उच्च समुद्रों से स्थायी मत्स्य पालन के लिए ढांचा: Avanti Feeds, Coastal Corp, Kings Infra, Zeal Aqua, Apex Frozen Food के लिए सकारात्मक। 10\. EdTech और अपस्किलिंग AI घोषणाएँ: NIIT, NIIT Learning, CL Educate के लिए सकारात्मक। 11\. कपास उत्पादकता के लिए मिशन: Welspun, Nahar Spinning, Indocount, अन्य वस्त्र कंपनियों के लिए सकारात्मक। 12\. संशोधित ब्याज उपवर्ती योजना के तहत KCC ऋणों के लिए ऋण सीमा 3 लाख रुपये से बढ़ाकर 5 लाख रुपये की गई: MM, TVS Motor, FMCG स्टॉक्स, Bajaj Auto, Jain Irrigation, SBI, PNB, Shakti Pumps के लिए सकारात्मक। 13\. रक्षा, गृह मामलों, IT और टेलीकॉम, वाणिज्य और उद्योग के लिए बजट आवंटन अपेक्षा से कम: BEL, HAL, Bharat Dynamics, Apollo Micro, Infosys, TCS, Wipro के लिए नकारात्मक। 14\. ग्रामीण अर्थव्यवस्था के लिए भारत पोस्ट एक उत्प्रेरक के रूप में: Delhivery के लिए नकारात्मक। 15\. MSMEs और स्टार्टअप्स के लिए गारंटी कवर के साथ बढ़ी हुई क्रेडिट उपलब्धता + सूक्ष्म उद्यमों के लिए क्रेडिट कार्ड + स्टार्टअप्स के लिए फंड ऑफ फंड्स: Infoedge, छोटे वित्त बैंक, चयनित NBFCs के लिए सकारात्मक। 16\. फुटवियर और लेदर क्षेत्रों के लिए फोकस उत्पाद योजना: Mirza International, Redtape, Metro Brands, Campus Active, Liberty के लिए सकारात्मक। 17\. खिलौना क्षेत्र के लिए उपाय: Shaily Engineering, OK Play के लिए सकारात्मक। 18\. खाद्य प्रसंस्करण के लिए समर्थन: Gujarat Ambuja Exports, Hindustan Foods, DFM Foods, Prataap Snacks के लिए सकारात्मक। 19\. निर्माण मिशन - "Make in India" को आगे बढ़ाना: Dixon Tech, PG Electroplast, Amber Enterprises, Epack Durables के लिए सकारात्मक। 20\. क्लीन टेक निर्माण: Waree, Premier Energies, Amara Raja, Exide, Suzlon, Inox Wind के लिए सकारात्मक। 21\. सक्षम आंगनवाड़ी और पोषण 2.0: FirstCry, Popee's Baby Care के लिए सकारात्मक। 22\. सरकारी माध्यमिक विद्यालयों और PHCs के लिए ब्रॉडबैंड कनेक्टिविटी: Jio, Bharti Airtel, Tejas Network, Sterlite Tech, Vodafone Idea, HFCL के लिए सकारात्मक। 23\. भारतीय भाषा पुस्तक योजना: S Chand, Navneet Education के लिए सकारात्मक। 24\. IITs में क्षमता का विस्तार: NBCC के लिए सकारात्मक। 25\. ऑनलाइन प्लेटफार्म श्रमिकों के लिए सामाजिक सुरक्षा योजना: Zomato, Swiggy, Nykaa के लिए सकारात्मक। 26\. जल जीवन मिशन को 2028 तक बढ़ाया गया: Vatech Wabag, Jash, ITD Cementation, Shakti Pumps, Jain Irrigation, EMS के लिए सकारात्मक। 27\. बिजली वितरण सुधारों और अंतर-राज्यीय ट्रांसमिशन क्षमता के लिए प्रोत्साहन: NTPC, Power Grid, KEC, Tata Power, Adani Transmission के लिए सकारात्मक। 28\. 2047 तक 100 GW परमाणु ऊर्जा का विकास: HCC के लिए सकारात्मक। 29\. पुनर्व्यवस्थित शिपबिल्डिंग वित्तीय सहायता नीति + शिपबिल्डिंग क्लस्टर्स की सुविधा + 25,000 करोड़ रुपये का समुद्री विकास कोष: GRSE, SCI, Mazagon, Cochin Shipyard के लिए सकारात्मक। 30\. 120 नए स्थलों के लिए क्षेत्रीय कनेक्टिविटी बढ़ाने के लिए संशोधित UDAN योजना, 10 वर्षों में 4 करोड़ यात्रियों को ले जाने के लिए: GMR एयरपोर्ट्स, Adani Enterprises, SpiceJet के लिए सकारात्मक। बाजार वास्तव में जोखिमों से भरा हुआ है। यह महत्वपूर्ण है कि आप बाजार के रुझानों की गहरी विश्लेषण और समझ पर आधारित निवेश निर्णय लें। अपनी विवेक पर भरोसा करना और सूचित निर्णय लेना आवश्यक है, क्योंकि स्टॉक मार्केट की अंतर्निहित अस्थिरता को देखते हुए। सुनिश्चित करें कि आप वास्तविक लाभ की अपेक्षाओं पर विचार कर रहे हैं, जैसा कि प्रस्तावित किया गया है, जो भारत में शेयरों के लिए लगभग 12% औसत हो सकता है, जबकि ऋण का औसत 6.5% हो सकता है। हमेशा याद रखें कि जोखिमों को प्रभावी ढंग से कम करने के लिए अपने निवेश में विविधता लाना महत्वपूर्ण है।
Ans: Hello Govinda.
Thanks for sharing the important information with us and our readers.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x