Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

41 Years Old, 20-Year Time Horizon: Need Advice on My Multi-Cap Portfolio

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Sukhpal Question by Sukhpal on Oct 12, 2024Hindi
Money

Sir i am 41 years old. Time horizon is 20 years. I have parag parikh flexicap, hdfc flexicap, franklin india flexicap, canara robeco flexicap, sbi long term equity fund. I am investing 2000 rupees in each of these funds. Do i need to add or remove funds to have the right mix of value, growth and momentum and to reduce overlap. I like multicap category too. Do i need any fund from that category too. Sir Kindly suggest the funds i need to add or remove. I am still in the beginning phase of my investment. I can make changes.

Ans: You are investing Rs 2000 each in five different equity mutual funds: Parag Parikh Flexicap, HDFC Flexicap, Franklin India Flexicap, Canara Robeco Flexicap, and SBI Long Term Equity Fund. All of these are primarily flexicap funds except the SBI Long Term Equity Fund, which is an ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme). Having flexicap funds in your portfolio provides diversification as they invest across market capitalizations.

The portfolio’s tilt toward flexicap funds is generally good for the long term, especially for a 20-year investment horizon. However, there may be some overlap in the holdings, given that all the flexicap funds invest in the same market segments. Let’s assess it from three perspectives:

Portfolio Overlap
Style Mix (Value, Growth, Momentum)
Diversification through Multicap Funds
Let’s break it down to see how you can refine your portfolio.

Portfolio Overlap Evaluation
Investing in multiple flexicap funds can sometimes lead to unnecessary overlap. While flexicap funds have flexibility across large, mid, and small-cap stocks, fund managers in different funds may hold similar top stocks. This overlap can lead to a situation where your funds are not providing true diversification, despite the number of schemes.

Top Holdings Overlap: Many flexicap funds tend to hold the same top large-cap stocks. This reduces the diversification effect.
Sector Exposure: You might end up being overexposed to certain sectors like banking, IT, or FMCG, which could lead to sector concentration risks.
Reduced Efficiency: Having multiple flexicap funds means paying expense ratios for all of them, despite many of them investing in similar stocks.
To address this, reducing the number of flexicap funds might be wise. You could consider keeping only 1-2 flexicap funds with a strong track record. This would reduce overlap and make your portfolio more efficient.

Balancing Value, Growth, and Momentum
Achieving the right mix between value, growth, and momentum is essential for a well-rounded portfolio. Here's how your current funds stand:

Flexicap Funds: These funds generally provide a mix of value and growth. They are not focused on one particular style.
ELSS Fund (SBI Long Term Equity Fund): This is a tax-saving fund that also follows a flexicap strategy. It typically has a long-term growth orientation.
Currently, your portfolio seems to be growth-oriented, as flexicap funds often lean toward growth stocks that have strong future potential. However, to add more balance:

Value Funds: You might consider adding a value-oriented fund to your portfolio to add the "value" component, as value funds invest in stocks that are undervalued but have strong fundamentals. This will help your portfolio balance out during market downturns.
Momentum Funds: If you are interested in momentum, you might explore funds that focus on stocks with high relative strength or price momentum. This can add a different dimension to your portfolio during bull markets.
Right now, you do not have a dedicated value or momentum fund. Adding a fund with a value focus or momentum strategy could enhance diversification.

Flexicap vs Multicap – Should You Add Multicap?
While flexicap funds offer flexibility across market capitalizations, multicap funds come with a mandate to invest in all three market caps – large, mid, and small, in a more structured way. This means multicap funds offer a more consistent allocation across market segments.

Advantages of Multicap Funds: Multicap funds maintain a more balanced allocation across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks. This could give you more exposure to small- and mid-cap companies, which could generate higher returns in the long term.

Recommendation: Given that you are in the early phase of your investment and have a long horizon, adding one multicap fund to your portfolio could provide better diversification across market capitalizations. This can also reduce your portfolio’s dependence on large caps, which dominate most flexicap funds.

However, be cautious not to over-diversify. A portfolio of 4-5 funds is usually sufficient for most investors. Adding a multicap fund means you might want to reduce the number of flexicap funds.

ELSS and Tax Saving Fund Consideration
SBI Long Term Equity Fund, being an ELSS, serves a dual purpose. It helps you save taxes under Section 80C while offering equity exposure. However, ELSS funds also have a 3-year lock-in period.

If Tax Saving is Needed: If your goal is to continue saving taxes, you can retain this ELSS fund. However, if you have other tax-saving options and don’t need this, you may consider replacing it with a more suitable growth or value-oriented equity fund that doesn’t have a lock-in.

Should You Add or Remove Funds?
Considering your current investment and objectives, here are my suggestions:

Reduce the Number of Flexicap Funds: You can streamline your flexicap exposure by reducing the number of funds. Choose 1-2 funds that you believe are consistent performers with strong management.

Add a Multicap Fund: A multicap fund will diversify your portfolio further by ensuring exposure across all market caps. This will complement your flexicap exposure.

Consider Adding a Value Fund: To balance the growth focus of your portfolio, you could introduce a value-oriented fund. This would provide stability during market downturns when growth stocks may underperform.

Review ELSS Based on Tax Needs: If you no longer need tax-saving benefits, consider whether an ELSS is necessary. You could replace it with a more growth or value-focused fund.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds Over Index Funds
It’s worth noting that actively managed funds, especially flexicap and multicap funds, offer several advantages over index funds:

Active Stock Selection: Actively managed funds can pick stocks based on future growth potential and valuations. Index funds simply mirror the index, regardless of stock performance.

Downside Protection: Active funds have the flexibility to shift allocations during market corrections. Index funds do not offer this flexibility.

Outperformance Potential: In the long term, actively managed funds with skilled managers can outperform their benchmark index. Index funds can only match the market, not beat it.

This is why actively managed funds in your portfolio, especially with a certified financial planner’s guidance, could offer better returns over time.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds and Benefits of Regular Funds
You may hear about direct funds as a lower-cost option. However, regular funds that you invest in through a Certified Financial Planner have distinct advantages:

Expert Guidance: Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures that your portfolio is monitored regularly, adjusted for market conditions, and optimized for your long-term goals.

Lesser Hassle: With direct funds, you are responsible for all decisions, including rebalancing, fund selection, and ongoing reviews. With regular funds through an expert, this burden is lifted.

Final Insights
At this stage, you are on the right track by focusing on equity mutual funds with a long-term horizon. Your portfolio can benefit from small adjustments:

Reduce the number of flexicap funds to avoid overlap.
Add a multicap fund to ensure consistent exposure across all market caps.
Consider adding a value fund to balance your portfolio with a value-growth mix.
Review the need for ELSS based on your tax-saving requirements.
Continue with regular funds for expert guidance and better decision-making.
By making these changes, your portfolio will be more diversified, aligned with your risk tolerance, and set for long-term growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |800 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Sir, I am 46, I am looking for advice, i have some where 20 funds of 60L portfolio. But i am currently looking at overlap of funds and wanted to balance it out may be bring it to 10 to 13 funds. So i am listing some of the funds from long term perspective, which is 5 to 10 years . Please let me know if those funds are good or any change required from overall portfolio. I will be spending 10 to 15% on ICICI Bluechip fund , removing hdfc 50 index + Canara rebeco Bluechip due to overlap of 54%.22.5% on Midcap - HDFC Midcap oppurtunities and Motilal oswal midcap fund and i no more be investing on SBI Maganum midcap fund and removing PGIM Midcap fund as star rating 1 and majorly star rating 4/5. I am also planinng to add Debt fund of 15% ( New investment to balance portfolio, Gsec 2036 bond, let me know if any thing which can give more than 8 %) for next 5 to 8 years. Also atleast i am expecting my portfolio to generate > 15% to 20% return. My stratergy , I see all overlap of stocks is between 9-14% . whichever has more than 30% overlap reducing it. I am looking at horizon of 5 to 10 years. I will continue doing sip of 1 lakh per month may be increasing by 5% every year for next 7 years. I am already having 60L portfolio and planning to increase 1 crore by mid of next year. Reason i am asking now is in future i dont want do major rebalance MF. i would like to sustain the model so that i get return consistantly. Please guide me on my stratergy and plan. If any changes in the portfolio. After sip stop i will start the SWP withdrwal of 4 to 5%. I am looking for generating 4 to 5 crores in next 7 to 10 years. Let me know how i can reach the goal.
Ans: You have a prudent and highly admirable approach to optimize number of funds in your portfolio eliminating excess overlap and below par performance.

ICICI Pru Bluechip, HDFC Mid-Cap opportunities and Motilal Oswal Midcap Funds are good funds in their category so no need to change.

Also your choice of nifty gsec 2036 fund(hdfc/Nippon) to balance your portfolio asset allocation looks apt.

My only slight concern is your return expectation. We should follow the principle of 'hope for the best and be prepared for the worst'.

Considering your lumpsum and sip amounts, reaching target of 4-5 Cr in 7 years even with top-up appears challenging.

However if you stick to top end of your time horizon i.e. 10 years, corpus target looks comfortably achievable even without top-up.
(Modest return of 13% assumed)

As you get closer to your target, transfer your gains to liquid or ultra short duration debt funds to protect it from volatility.

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates

Happy Investing!!

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 11, 2024

Money
Sir i have parag parikh flexicap, hdfc flexicap, franklin india flexicap, canara robeco flexicap, sbi long term equity fund and icici prudential equity & debt fund. I have allocated 2000 rupees sip in each of these funds. Do i need to remove or add any fund. I am 41 years old. My time horizon is 20 years for wealth creation. Is my portfolio good or do i need any changes? Do i need to have any value fund or is this portfolio a right mix of value, momentum, growth?
Ans: You are currently investing in five flexi-cap funds and one balanced fund, with Rs. 2,000 allocated as SIP in each. This setup gives you exposure to a diversified mix of equity with a minor portion of debt through the equity-debt fund. Let us evaluate your portfolio based on your time horizon of 20 years for wealth creation and see if any changes are necessary.

Here is a detailed assessment from a Certified Financial Planner perspective:

Flexi-Cap Fund Concentration
Diversified Approach: You have selected four different flexi-cap funds. Flexi-cap funds are versatile as they invest across all market capitalizations, providing exposure to large, mid, and small-cap stocks. This ensures that you are well-diversified across sectors and market sizes.

Duplication Risk: However, having multiple flexi-cap funds may cause portfolio overlap, as these funds can end up holding similar stocks. Since your investment is spread across multiple flexi-cap funds, it might reduce the potential for diversification, especially if the same top-performing stocks are held in different funds.

Suggested Action: You might want to consider reducing the number of flexi-cap funds to avoid redundancy. Keeping two flexi-cap funds instead of four can simplify your portfolio and still provide enough diversification. Choose the two funds that have consistently performed well and are aligned with your long-term goals.

Balanced Allocation with Equity and Debt
Balanced Strategy: Your choice of one equity and debt fund adds stability to your portfolio. This fund balances the risk and provides you with some debt exposure, reducing volatility, especially in uncertain market conditions.

Time Horizon and Risk Tolerance: Given that your time horizon is 20 years, you may not need a heavy debt allocation in the early stages. At your current age of 41, it is beneficial to have equity dominance, but as you approach retirement, you may want to increase your debt allocation gradually. For now, having one equity-debt fund is sufficient for risk management.

Growth, Value, and Momentum Mix
Growth Funds: Flexi-cap funds typically focus on growth stocks. They aim to invest in companies that have the potential for higher earnings, thus delivering capital appreciation. This is beneficial for your wealth creation goal over 20 years.

Value Investing Exposure: Your current portfolio does not seem to have a dedicated value fund. Value funds invest in stocks that are undervalued but have strong fundamentals. Adding one value fund may provide a cushion during market downturns and ensure that your portfolio has a broader range of investment styles.

Momentum Funds: Some of the funds in your portfolio may adopt a momentum strategy, but it is worth checking their strategy to see if they are adequately capturing this style. Momentum funds aim to invest in stocks that have had high returns in the past, potentially providing high returns during bullish markets.

Suggested Action: To ensure a well-rounded mix of investment styles, you could consider adding a value fund to complement your growth-oriented flexi-cap funds. This would provide a blend of both growth and value investing, making your portfolio more resilient during market volatility.

Long-Term Tax Implications
Equity Mutual Funds Taxation: Under the current tax rules, long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh from equity mutual funds are taxed at 12.5%. If you sell any fund units before three years, the short-term capital gains (STCG) will be taxed at 20%. As you are investing for 20 years, most of your gains will fall under LTCG, allowing you to benefit from the lower tax rate on long-term gains.

Equity-Debt Fund Taxation: The equity-debt fund will have different tax implications. For the equity portion, LTCG is taxed as mentioned earlier. However, the debt portion's LTCG will be taxed as per your income slab if held for more than three years. If you sell before three years, the gains will be taxed as per your current income slab.

Direct vs Regular Funds
Direct vs Regular Fund Debate: While direct funds offer lower expense ratios, they require active monitoring and financial knowledge. Regular funds, invested through a certified financial planner (CFP), offer advisory support and better portfolio management without requiring you to follow markets constantly. As your time horizon is long, it’s advisable to continue investing through regular funds under the guidance of a CFP, as they can optimize your portfolio strategy over time.

Professional Guidance: Continuing with regular funds ensures that you benefit from active fund management, professional advice, and regular portfolio reviews. A Certified Financial Planner can guide you through changes in market conditions and help adjust your portfolio accordingly.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Why Actively Managed Funds Are Better: While index funds track the market, they do not offer the flexibility to respond to changes in market conditions. Actively managed funds, like the ones in your portfolio, allow fund managers to adjust their strategy based on market trends. This flexibility often leads to better returns over long periods, especially when market volatility is high.
Importance of SIPs and Consistency
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) Benefits: By investing Rs. 2,000 in each fund monthly through SIPs, you are using a disciplined approach. SIPs offer rupee cost averaging, which helps in reducing the impact of market volatility. As markets rise and fall, SIPs help accumulate more units when prices are low, thus improving the long-term performance of your investments.

Consistent Investing for Wealth Creation: With a 20-year horizon, the key is consistency. By sticking to your SIPs and making adjustments when necessary, you will allow your wealth to grow exponentially. The power of compounding will work in your favor over such a long duration, significantly boosting your wealth.

Portfolio Simplification
Potential Fund Overlap: As mentioned earlier, reducing the number of flexi-cap funds can simplify your portfolio without compromising on diversification. Overlap in your current flexi-cap funds might lead to higher exposure to the same stocks, which could reduce your overall portfolio's effectiveness.

Streamlining for Focus: A more streamlined portfolio can make it easier to track performance and make informed decisions. It will also reduce the management effort required from your Certified Financial Planner, ensuring that you receive more focused advice and monitoring.

Final Insights
Your portfolio is well-diversified across flexi-cap funds, offering growth potential across different market capitalizations. However, having multiple flexi-cap funds may lead to redundancy and could be simplified.

A value fund can be added to create a balance between growth and value strategies, providing better risk management during market corrections.

Your allocation to an equity-debt fund is good for stability, but equity should remain dominant for wealth creation over the next 20 years.

Stick to regular funds for long-term growth, and avoid index funds due to their limitations in capturing market opportunities.

Continue with SIPs, ensuring consistency, which will maximize the benefits of compounding over your 20-year horizon.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 11, 2024

Money
Sir i am 41 years old. i have parag parikh flexicap, hdfc flexicap, canara robeco flexicap, franklin india flexicap, sbi long term equity fund and icici prudential equity & debt fund. Do i need to add or remove any fund. Does my portfolio has the right mix of value, growth, momentum style of investing or do i need to add any value fund?
Ans: You have a good selection of mutual funds in your portfolio, Sir. Your current portfolio includes funds from different styles, such as flexicap and hybrid funds. This provides a decent mix of growth, value, and diversified investment strategies. However, there are a few aspects you should consider to improve the overall alignment with your long-term goals.

Let’s go through your current funds and evaluate their strengths and areas where changes might be beneficial.

Flexicap Funds in Your Portfolio
You have multiple flexicap funds in your portfolio:

Parag Parikh Flexicap
HDFC Flexicap
Canara Robeco Flexicap
Franklin India Flexicap
Flexicap funds are versatile as they invest across large, mid, and small-cap companies. This gives you flexibility to capture opportunities across the market, making them an attractive choice. However, having too many flexicap funds can lead to overlap, meaning you might be investing in the same stocks repeatedly, reducing overall diversification.

Points to Consider:
Portfolio Overlap: Since all these flexicap funds invest across market caps, there’s a risk of them holding many common stocks. This dilutes the benefits of diversification.
Fund Styles: Each fund house follows a different style—some focus more on large caps while others tilt towards mid or small caps. But, having too many funds in the same category could lead to inefficiency.
SBI Long Term Equity Fund (ELSS)
This fund falls under the Equity Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS) category, which offers tax benefits. It's a solid choice if you're looking to save tax under Section 80C, but keep in mind that ELSS funds have a three-year lock-in period.

Points to Consider:
Lock-in Period: Your SBI Long Term Equity Fund comes with a lock-in of three years, but that can be a good thing as it forces you to stay invested.
Growth Focus: The primary focus of this fund is growth, with a tendency to invest in companies with higher growth potential.
ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund
The hybrid nature of this fund provides a balanced approach by investing in both equities and debt instruments. This fund is less volatile than pure equity funds and offers a cushion during market downturns. It also provides you with some stability, which is essential as you grow closer to retirement.

Points to Consider:
Balanced Approach: This hybrid fund adds stability to your portfolio with its debt exposure, which is crucial, especially in volatile markets.
LTCG Taxation: Be mindful that when you sell this fund, the taxation will follow the LTCG rules for debt funds, which is different from pure equity mutual funds.
Assessing the Mix of Investment Styles
Now, let's analyse the mix of investment styles in your portfolio—growth, value, and momentum. Here's how your current funds line up:

Growth: Parag Parikh Flexicap and Franklin India Flexicap have a strong growth focus. Growth funds invest in companies expected to grow at an above-average rate compared to other companies. This brings higher returns but can be riskier.

Value: HDFC Flexicap and Canara Robeco Flexicap have a more balanced approach with some value-oriented strategies. Value funds focus on undervalued stocks, aiming to capitalise when the market recognises their true potential. This approach is less volatile.

Momentum: Currently, your portfolio lacks a specific momentum-oriented fund. Momentum funds focus on stocks that have performed well recently and are likely to continue doing so in the short term.

Points to Consider:
Balanced Style: You already have a good mix of growth and value funds. Adding a momentum fund could diversify your investment styles further, making your portfolio more dynamic.

Avoid Overlap: While flexicap funds are flexible, too many similar funds could lead to over-diversification. This may reduce your portfolio’s efficiency in terms of returns.

The Importance of Adding a Value Fund
If you want to enhance your portfolio’s exposure to different styles, you could consider adding a fund focused entirely on value investing. Value funds are often overlooked, but they play an essential role during market corrections or periods of economic downturn. They seek to invest in companies that are undervalued, offering long-term potential once the market realises their true worth.

Points to Consider:
Balancing Risk: Value funds are less volatile and provide stability during downturns. They can serve as a cushion for your portfolio, balancing out the riskier growth-oriented investments.

Long-Term Growth: A value fund’s slow but steady performance can help you achieve stable growth in your portfolio over the years.

Diversification of Market Capitalisation
You currently have exposure to large, mid, and small-cap companies through your flexicap funds. However, it might be helpful to examine how much of your portfolio is concentrated in large-cap stocks versus mid and small caps. Large caps provide stability, while mid and small caps offer higher growth potential but with increased risk.

Points to Consider:
Large Cap Stability: Ensure that a reasonable portion of your portfolio is in large-cap stocks. This will provide your portfolio with stability and reduce overall risk.

Mid and Small Cap Growth: Mid and small caps offer higher growth but can be volatile. Make sure you’re comfortable with the risk that comes with these investments.

Disadvantages of Index Funds in Your Portfolio
You’ve wisely avoided index funds, which tend to underperform compared to actively managed funds, especially in the Indian market. Index funds simply track the market, offering no opportunity for active stock selection. In contrast, actively managed funds allow fund managers to pick stocks that have the potential to outperform, especially in volatile markets.

Points to Consider:
No Active Management: Index funds offer no opportunity for active management, which can limit your returns in the long run.

Outperformance Potential: Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the market, especially during downturns. The fund manager’s expertise becomes a crucial advantage.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct mutual funds may seem appealing due to their lower expense ratios, but investing through a regular plan with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) has significant benefits.

A CFP will help you manage your portfolio more effectively by offering timely advice, rebalancing your investments, and ensuring you’re aligned with your goals. Direct funds lack this guidance, leaving you on your own to make important financial decisions.

Points to Consider:
No Professional Guidance: Direct funds offer no advisory support. You may miss out on crucial market insights that a CFP can provide.

Portfolio Mismanagement: Without professional advice, you could overexpose yourself to risk or miss opportunities to rebalance your portfolio.

Taxation Aspects of Your Portfolio
The new mutual fund taxation rules can impact your returns:

LTCG on Equity Funds: Long-term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

STCG on Equity Funds: Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds: Both long-term and short-term capital gains are taxed as per your income tax slab. This is important to keep in mind when selling any debt portion of your hybrid fund.

Points to Consider:
Tax Efficiency: Hybrid and debt funds can impact your tax liability, so plan accordingly when making withdrawals.

Equity Taxation: Your equity mutual funds will give you tax-free gains up to Rs 1.25 lakh, making them more tax-efficient in the long run.

Finally
Your portfolio has a strong foundation, but it could benefit from further optimisation. By reducing overlap in flexicap funds and adding a value-focused fund, you can diversify your investment styles more effectively. Consider adding a momentum fund to enhance your portfolio’s dynamism.

It’s also wise to keep an eye on the allocation between large, mid, and small caps. While your hybrid fund provides stability, ensure that your overall exposure to equities aligns with your risk appetite as you approach retirement.

Lastly, avoid the temptation of index and direct funds. They may seem cost-efficient, but they lack the advantages of active management and professional guidance, which can make a big difference in long-term wealth creation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Listen
Relationship
I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x