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41 Years Old, 20-Year Time Horizon: Need Advice on My Multi-Cap Portfolio

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Sukhpal Question by Sukhpal on Oct 12, 2024Hindi
Money

Sir i am 41 years old. Time horizon is 20 years. I have parag parikh flexicap, hdfc flexicap, franklin india flexicap, canara robeco flexicap, sbi long term equity fund. I am investing 2000 rupees in each of these funds. Do i need to add or remove funds to have the right mix of value, growth and momentum and to reduce overlap. I like multicap category too. Do i need any fund from that category too. Sir Kindly suggest the funds i need to add or remove. I am still in the beginning phase of my investment. I can make changes.

Ans: You are investing Rs 2000 each in five different equity mutual funds: Parag Parikh Flexicap, HDFC Flexicap, Franklin India Flexicap, Canara Robeco Flexicap, and SBI Long Term Equity Fund. All of these are primarily flexicap funds except the SBI Long Term Equity Fund, which is an ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme). Having flexicap funds in your portfolio provides diversification as they invest across market capitalizations.

The portfolio’s tilt toward flexicap funds is generally good for the long term, especially for a 20-year investment horizon. However, there may be some overlap in the holdings, given that all the flexicap funds invest in the same market segments. Let’s assess it from three perspectives:

Portfolio Overlap
Style Mix (Value, Growth, Momentum)
Diversification through Multicap Funds
Let’s break it down to see how you can refine your portfolio.

Portfolio Overlap Evaluation
Investing in multiple flexicap funds can sometimes lead to unnecessary overlap. While flexicap funds have flexibility across large, mid, and small-cap stocks, fund managers in different funds may hold similar top stocks. This overlap can lead to a situation where your funds are not providing true diversification, despite the number of schemes.

Top Holdings Overlap: Many flexicap funds tend to hold the same top large-cap stocks. This reduces the diversification effect.
Sector Exposure: You might end up being overexposed to certain sectors like banking, IT, or FMCG, which could lead to sector concentration risks.
Reduced Efficiency: Having multiple flexicap funds means paying expense ratios for all of them, despite many of them investing in similar stocks.
To address this, reducing the number of flexicap funds might be wise. You could consider keeping only 1-2 flexicap funds with a strong track record. This would reduce overlap and make your portfolio more efficient.

Balancing Value, Growth, and Momentum
Achieving the right mix between value, growth, and momentum is essential for a well-rounded portfolio. Here's how your current funds stand:

Flexicap Funds: These funds generally provide a mix of value and growth. They are not focused on one particular style.
ELSS Fund (SBI Long Term Equity Fund): This is a tax-saving fund that also follows a flexicap strategy. It typically has a long-term growth orientation.
Currently, your portfolio seems to be growth-oriented, as flexicap funds often lean toward growth stocks that have strong future potential. However, to add more balance:

Value Funds: You might consider adding a value-oriented fund to your portfolio to add the "value" component, as value funds invest in stocks that are undervalued but have strong fundamentals. This will help your portfolio balance out during market downturns.
Momentum Funds: If you are interested in momentum, you might explore funds that focus on stocks with high relative strength or price momentum. This can add a different dimension to your portfolio during bull markets.
Right now, you do not have a dedicated value or momentum fund. Adding a fund with a value focus or momentum strategy could enhance diversification.

Flexicap vs Multicap – Should You Add Multicap?
While flexicap funds offer flexibility across market capitalizations, multicap funds come with a mandate to invest in all three market caps – large, mid, and small, in a more structured way. This means multicap funds offer a more consistent allocation across market segments.

Advantages of Multicap Funds: Multicap funds maintain a more balanced allocation across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks. This could give you more exposure to small- and mid-cap companies, which could generate higher returns in the long term.

Recommendation: Given that you are in the early phase of your investment and have a long horizon, adding one multicap fund to your portfolio could provide better diversification across market capitalizations. This can also reduce your portfolio’s dependence on large caps, which dominate most flexicap funds.

However, be cautious not to over-diversify. A portfolio of 4-5 funds is usually sufficient for most investors. Adding a multicap fund means you might want to reduce the number of flexicap funds.

ELSS and Tax Saving Fund Consideration
SBI Long Term Equity Fund, being an ELSS, serves a dual purpose. It helps you save taxes under Section 80C while offering equity exposure. However, ELSS funds also have a 3-year lock-in period.

If Tax Saving is Needed: If your goal is to continue saving taxes, you can retain this ELSS fund. However, if you have other tax-saving options and don’t need this, you may consider replacing it with a more suitable growth or value-oriented equity fund that doesn’t have a lock-in.

Should You Add or Remove Funds?
Considering your current investment and objectives, here are my suggestions:

Reduce the Number of Flexicap Funds: You can streamline your flexicap exposure by reducing the number of funds. Choose 1-2 funds that you believe are consistent performers with strong management.

Add a Multicap Fund: A multicap fund will diversify your portfolio further by ensuring exposure across all market caps. This will complement your flexicap exposure.

Consider Adding a Value Fund: To balance the growth focus of your portfolio, you could introduce a value-oriented fund. This would provide stability during market downturns when growth stocks may underperform.

Review ELSS Based on Tax Needs: If you no longer need tax-saving benefits, consider whether an ELSS is necessary. You could replace it with a more growth or value-focused fund.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds Over Index Funds
It’s worth noting that actively managed funds, especially flexicap and multicap funds, offer several advantages over index funds:

Active Stock Selection: Actively managed funds can pick stocks based on future growth potential and valuations. Index funds simply mirror the index, regardless of stock performance.

Downside Protection: Active funds have the flexibility to shift allocations during market corrections. Index funds do not offer this flexibility.

Outperformance Potential: In the long term, actively managed funds with skilled managers can outperform their benchmark index. Index funds can only match the market, not beat it.

This is why actively managed funds in your portfolio, especially with a certified financial planner’s guidance, could offer better returns over time.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds and Benefits of Regular Funds
You may hear about direct funds as a lower-cost option. However, regular funds that you invest in through a Certified Financial Planner have distinct advantages:

Expert Guidance: Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures that your portfolio is monitored regularly, adjusted for market conditions, and optimized for your long-term goals.

Lesser Hassle: With direct funds, you are responsible for all decisions, including rebalancing, fund selection, and ongoing reviews. With regular funds through an expert, this burden is lifted.

Final Insights
At this stage, you are on the right track by focusing on equity mutual funds with a long-term horizon. Your portfolio can benefit from small adjustments:

Reduce the number of flexicap funds to avoid overlap.
Add a multicap fund to ensure consistent exposure across all market caps.
Consider adding a value fund to balance your portfolio with a value-growth mix.
Review the need for ELSS based on your tax-saving requirements.
Continue with regular funds for expert guidance and better decision-making.
By making these changes, your portfolio will be more diversified, aligned with your risk tolerance, and set for long-term growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |753 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 23, 2024Hindi
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Sir, I am 46, I am looking for advice, i have some where 20 funds of 60L portfolio. But i am currently looking at overlap of funds and wanted to balance it out may be bring it to 10 to 13 funds. So i am listing some of the funds from long term perspective, which is 5 to 10 years . Please let me know if those funds are good or any change required from overall portfolio. I will be spending 10 to 15% on ICICI Bluechip fund , removing hdfc 50 index + Canara rebeco Bluechip due to overlap of 54%.22.5% on Midcap - HDFC Midcap oppurtunities and Motilal oswal midcap fund and i no more be investing on SBI Maganum midcap fund and removing PGIM Midcap fund as star rating 1 and majorly star rating 4/5. I am also planinng to add Debt fund of 15% ( New investment to balance portfolio, Gsec 2036 bond, let me know if any thing which can give more than 8 %) for next 5 to 8 years. Also atleast i am expecting my portfolio to generate > 15% to 20% return. My stratergy , I see all overlap of stocks is between 9-14% . whichever has more than 30% overlap reducing it. I am looking at horizon of 5 to 10 years. I will continue doing sip of 1 lakh per month may be increasing by 5% every year for next 7 years. I am already having 60L portfolio and planning to increase 1 crore by mid of next year. Reason i am asking now is in future i dont want do major rebalance MF. i would like to sustain the model so that i get return consistantly. Please guide me on my stratergy and plan. If any changes in the portfolio. After sip stop i will start the SWP withdrwal of 4 to 5%. I am looking for generating 4 to 5 crores in next 7 to 10 years. Let me know how i can reach the goal.
Ans: You have a prudent and highly admirable approach to optimize number of funds in your portfolio eliminating excess overlap and below par performance.

ICICI Pru Bluechip, HDFC Mid-Cap opportunities and Motilal Oswal Midcap Funds are good funds in their category so no need to change.

Also your choice of nifty gsec 2036 fund(hdfc/Nippon) to balance your portfolio asset allocation looks apt.

My only slight concern is your return expectation. We should follow the principle of 'hope for the best and be prepared for the worst'.

Considering your lumpsum and sip amounts, reaching target of 4-5 Cr in 7 years even with top-up appears challenging.

However if you stick to top end of your time horizon i.e. 10 years, corpus target looks comfortably achievable even without top-up.
(Modest return of 13% assumed)

As you get closer to your target, transfer your gains to liquid or ultra short duration debt funds to protect it from volatility.

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates

Happy Investing!!

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 11, 2024

Money
Sir i have parag parikh flexicap, hdfc flexicap, franklin india flexicap, canara robeco flexicap, sbi long term equity fund and icici prudential equity & debt fund. I have allocated 2000 rupees sip in each of these funds. Do i need to remove or add any fund. I am 41 years old. My time horizon is 20 years for wealth creation. Is my portfolio good or do i need any changes? Do i need to have any value fund or is this portfolio a right mix of value, momentum, growth?
Ans: You are currently investing in five flexi-cap funds and one balanced fund, with Rs. 2,000 allocated as SIP in each. This setup gives you exposure to a diversified mix of equity with a minor portion of debt through the equity-debt fund. Let us evaluate your portfolio based on your time horizon of 20 years for wealth creation and see if any changes are necessary.

Here is a detailed assessment from a Certified Financial Planner perspective:

Flexi-Cap Fund Concentration
Diversified Approach: You have selected four different flexi-cap funds. Flexi-cap funds are versatile as they invest across all market capitalizations, providing exposure to large, mid, and small-cap stocks. This ensures that you are well-diversified across sectors and market sizes.

Duplication Risk: However, having multiple flexi-cap funds may cause portfolio overlap, as these funds can end up holding similar stocks. Since your investment is spread across multiple flexi-cap funds, it might reduce the potential for diversification, especially if the same top-performing stocks are held in different funds.

Suggested Action: You might want to consider reducing the number of flexi-cap funds to avoid redundancy. Keeping two flexi-cap funds instead of four can simplify your portfolio and still provide enough diversification. Choose the two funds that have consistently performed well and are aligned with your long-term goals.

Balanced Allocation with Equity and Debt
Balanced Strategy: Your choice of one equity and debt fund adds stability to your portfolio. This fund balances the risk and provides you with some debt exposure, reducing volatility, especially in uncertain market conditions.

Time Horizon and Risk Tolerance: Given that your time horizon is 20 years, you may not need a heavy debt allocation in the early stages. At your current age of 41, it is beneficial to have equity dominance, but as you approach retirement, you may want to increase your debt allocation gradually. For now, having one equity-debt fund is sufficient for risk management.

Growth, Value, and Momentum Mix
Growth Funds: Flexi-cap funds typically focus on growth stocks. They aim to invest in companies that have the potential for higher earnings, thus delivering capital appreciation. This is beneficial for your wealth creation goal over 20 years.

Value Investing Exposure: Your current portfolio does not seem to have a dedicated value fund. Value funds invest in stocks that are undervalued but have strong fundamentals. Adding one value fund may provide a cushion during market downturns and ensure that your portfolio has a broader range of investment styles.

Momentum Funds: Some of the funds in your portfolio may adopt a momentum strategy, but it is worth checking their strategy to see if they are adequately capturing this style. Momentum funds aim to invest in stocks that have had high returns in the past, potentially providing high returns during bullish markets.

Suggested Action: To ensure a well-rounded mix of investment styles, you could consider adding a value fund to complement your growth-oriented flexi-cap funds. This would provide a blend of both growth and value investing, making your portfolio more resilient during market volatility.

Long-Term Tax Implications
Equity Mutual Funds Taxation: Under the current tax rules, long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh from equity mutual funds are taxed at 12.5%. If you sell any fund units before three years, the short-term capital gains (STCG) will be taxed at 20%. As you are investing for 20 years, most of your gains will fall under LTCG, allowing you to benefit from the lower tax rate on long-term gains.

Equity-Debt Fund Taxation: The equity-debt fund will have different tax implications. For the equity portion, LTCG is taxed as mentioned earlier. However, the debt portion's LTCG will be taxed as per your income slab if held for more than three years. If you sell before three years, the gains will be taxed as per your current income slab.

Direct vs Regular Funds
Direct vs Regular Fund Debate: While direct funds offer lower expense ratios, they require active monitoring and financial knowledge. Regular funds, invested through a certified financial planner (CFP), offer advisory support and better portfolio management without requiring you to follow markets constantly. As your time horizon is long, it’s advisable to continue investing through regular funds under the guidance of a CFP, as they can optimize your portfolio strategy over time.

Professional Guidance: Continuing with regular funds ensures that you benefit from active fund management, professional advice, and regular portfolio reviews. A Certified Financial Planner can guide you through changes in market conditions and help adjust your portfolio accordingly.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Why Actively Managed Funds Are Better: While index funds track the market, they do not offer the flexibility to respond to changes in market conditions. Actively managed funds, like the ones in your portfolio, allow fund managers to adjust their strategy based on market trends. This flexibility often leads to better returns over long periods, especially when market volatility is high.
Importance of SIPs and Consistency
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) Benefits: By investing Rs. 2,000 in each fund monthly through SIPs, you are using a disciplined approach. SIPs offer rupee cost averaging, which helps in reducing the impact of market volatility. As markets rise and fall, SIPs help accumulate more units when prices are low, thus improving the long-term performance of your investments.

Consistent Investing for Wealth Creation: With a 20-year horizon, the key is consistency. By sticking to your SIPs and making adjustments when necessary, you will allow your wealth to grow exponentially. The power of compounding will work in your favor over such a long duration, significantly boosting your wealth.

Portfolio Simplification
Potential Fund Overlap: As mentioned earlier, reducing the number of flexi-cap funds can simplify your portfolio without compromising on diversification. Overlap in your current flexi-cap funds might lead to higher exposure to the same stocks, which could reduce your overall portfolio's effectiveness.

Streamlining for Focus: A more streamlined portfolio can make it easier to track performance and make informed decisions. It will also reduce the management effort required from your Certified Financial Planner, ensuring that you receive more focused advice and monitoring.

Final Insights
Your portfolio is well-diversified across flexi-cap funds, offering growth potential across different market capitalizations. However, having multiple flexi-cap funds may lead to redundancy and could be simplified.

A value fund can be added to create a balance between growth and value strategies, providing better risk management during market corrections.

Your allocation to an equity-debt fund is good for stability, but equity should remain dominant for wealth creation over the next 20 years.

Stick to regular funds for long-term growth, and avoid index funds due to their limitations in capturing market opportunities.

Continue with SIPs, ensuring consistency, which will maximize the benefits of compounding over your 20-year horizon.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 11, 2024

Money
Sir i am 41 years old. i have parag parikh flexicap, hdfc flexicap, canara robeco flexicap, franklin india flexicap, sbi long term equity fund and icici prudential equity & debt fund. Do i need to add or remove any fund. Does my portfolio has the right mix of value, growth, momentum style of investing or do i need to add any value fund?
Ans: You have a good selection of mutual funds in your portfolio, Sir. Your current portfolio includes funds from different styles, such as flexicap and hybrid funds. This provides a decent mix of growth, value, and diversified investment strategies. However, there are a few aspects you should consider to improve the overall alignment with your long-term goals.

Let’s go through your current funds and evaluate their strengths and areas where changes might be beneficial.

Flexicap Funds in Your Portfolio
You have multiple flexicap funds in your portfolio:

Parag Parikh Flexicap
HDFC Flexicap
Canara Robeco Flexicap
Franklin India Flexicap
Flexicap funds are versatile as they invest across large, mid, and small-cap companies. This gives you flexibility to capture opportunities across the market, making them an attractive choice. However, having too many flexicap funds can lead to overlap, meaning you might be investing in the same stocks repeatedly, reducing overall diversification.

Points to Consider:
Portfolio Overlap: Since all these flexicap funds invest across market caps, there’s a risk of them holding many common stocks. This dilutes the benefits of diversification.
Fund Styles: Each fund house follows a different style—some focus more on large caps while others tilt towards mid or small caps. But, having too many funds in the same category could lead to inefficiency.
SBI Long Term Equity Fund (ELSS)
This fund falls under the Equity Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS) category, which offers tax benefits. It's a solid choice if you're looking to save tax under Section 80C, but keep in mind that ELSS funds have a three-year lock-in period.

Points to Consider:
Lock-in Period: Your SBI Long Term Equity Fund comes with a lock-in of three years, but that can be a good thing as it forces you to stay invested.
Growth Focus: The primary focus of this fund is growth, with a tendency to invest in companies with higher growth potential.
ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund
The hybrid nature of this fund provides a balanced approach by investing in both equities and debt instruments. This fund is less volatile than pure equity funds and offers a cushion during market downturns. It also provides you with some stability, which is essential as you grow closer to retirement.

Points to Consider:
Balanced Approach: This hybrid fund adds stability to your portfolio with its debt exposure, which is crucial, especially in volatile markets.
LTCG Taxation: Be mindful that when you sell this fund, the taxation will follow the LTCG rules for debt funds, which is different from pure equity mutual funds.
Assessing the Mix of Investment Styles
Now, let's analyse the mix of investment styles in your portfolio—growth, value, and momentum. Here's how your current funds line up:

Growth: Parag Parikh Flexicap and Franklin India Flexicap have a strong growth focus. Growth funds invest in companies expected to grow at an above-average rate compared to other companies. This brings higher returns but can be riskier.

Value: HDFC Flexicap and Canara Robeco Flexicap have a more balanced approach with some value-oriented strategies. Value funds focus on undervalued stocks, aiming to capitalise when the market recognises their true potential. This approach is less volatile.

Momentum: Currently, your portfolio lacks a specific momentum-oriented fund. Momentum funds focus on stocks that have performed well recently and are likely to continue doing so in the short term.

Points to Consider:
Balanced Style: You already have a good mix of growth and value funds. Adding a momentum fund could diversify your investment styles further, making your portfolio more dynamic.

Avoid Overlap: While flexicap funds are flexible, too many similar funds could lead to over-diversification. This may reduce your portfolio’s efficiency in terms of returns.

The Importance of Adding a Value Fund
If you want to enhance your portfolio’s exposure to different styles, you could consider adding a fund focused entirely on value investing. Value funds are often overlooked, but they play an essential role during market corrections or periods of economic downturn. They seek to invest in companies that are undervalued, offering long-term potential once the market realises their true worth.

Points to Consider:
Balancing Risk: Value funds are less volatile and provide stability during downturns. They can serve as a cushion for your portfolio, balancing out the riskier growth-oriented investments.

Long-Term Growth: A value fund’s slow but steady performance can help you achieve stable growth in your portfolio over the years.

Diversification of Market Capitalisation
You currently have exposure to large, mid, and small-cap companies through your flexicap funds. However, it might be helpful to examine how much of your portfolio is concentrated in large-cap stocks versus mid and small caps. Large caps provide stability, while mid and small caps offer higher growth potential but with increased risk.

Points to Consider:
Large Cap Stability: Ensure that a reasonable portion of your portfolio is in large-cap stocks. This will provide your portfolio with stability and reduce overall risk.

Mid and Small Cap Growth: Mid and small caps offer higher growth but can be volatile. Make sure you’re comfortable with the risk that comes with these investments.

Disadvantages of Index Funds in Your Portfolio
You’ve wisely avoided index funds, which tend to underperform compared to actively managed funds, especially in the Indian market. Index funds simply track the market, offering no opportunity for active stock selection. In contrast, actively managed funds allow fund managers to pick stocks that have the potential to outperform, especially in volatile markets.

Points to Consider:
No Active Management: Index funds offer no opportunity for active management, which can limit your returns in the long run.

Outperformance Potential: Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the market, especially during downturns. The fund manager’s expertise becomes a crucial advantage.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct mutual funds may seem appealing due to their lower expense ratios, but investing through a regular plan with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) has significant benefits.

A CFP will help you manage your portfolio more effectively by offering timely advice, rebalancing your investments, and ensuring you’re aligned with your goals. Direct funds lack this guidance, leaving you on your own to make important financial decisions.

Points to Consider:
No Professional Guidance: Direct funds offer no advisory support. You may miss out on crucial market insights that a CFP can provide.

Portfolio Mismanagement: Without professional advice, you could overexpose yourself to risk or miss opportunities to rebalance your portfolio.

Taxation Aspects of Your Portfolio
The new mutual fund taxation rules can impact your returns:

LTCG on Equity Funds: Long-term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

STCG on Equity Funds: Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds: Both long-term and short-term capital gains are taxed as per your income tax slab. This is important to keep in mind when selling any debt portion of your hybrid fund.

Points to Consider:
Tax Efficiency: Hybrid and debt funds can impact your tax liability, so plan accordingly when making withdrawals.

Equity Taxation: Your equity mutual funds will give you tax-free gains up to Rs 1.25 lakh, making them more tax-efficient in the long run.

Finally
Your portfolio has a strong foundation, but it could benefit from further optimisation. By reducing overlap in flexicap funds and adding a value-focused fund, you can diversify your investment styles more effectively. Consider adding a momentum fund to enhance your portfolio’s dynamism.

It’s also wise to keep an eye on the allocation between large, mid, and small caps. While your hybrid fund provides stability, ensure that your overall exposure to equities aligns with your risk appetite as you approach retirement.

Lastly, avoid the temptation of index and direct funds. They may seem cost-efficient, but they lack the advantages of active management and professional guidance, which can make a big difference in long-term wealth creation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

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Relationship
I am 39 and married for 11 years now, my husband doesn't support me financially at all. My salary is more than him but I bought house my own and paying all EMIS, looking for all household expenses and also paying school fees and other expenses for my son. My husband looks after only his parents, spend all money on them. Earlier we used to live together in inlaws house but they have spending habits for luxury, cloths, food etc even though my husband earns very less and my father in law retired with no income they were not ready to compromise on their spending habits. Whatever they had received after their retirement they entirety spent on their daughters marriages with no money left. When I got married they asked for my salary and used to give them. Mine and my husband salary was not enough for them so they sold house without informing me, I insisted them to buy at least small house but did not agree and kept on spending money on their lavish life, foreign trips, food, cloths etc. also helped daughters to buy house, maintenance and their childrens study. But did not let their son live life as ask him to pay rent for their house, household and maintenance expenses and they spend their money on their own luxury. They asked for my salary even though they have money and just spending for luxury and not even thinking for our future. When I denied to give salary, they asked me leave their house and made me difficult to live with them doing harrasment and taunts so I decided to leave and buy new house.Now I am living with my son separately, when my husband came to know about my new house he came to stay with us by not even paying single rupee to me. I asked him several time for money he only pays one or two thousand saying I don't have money at all to give you. Not taking care of son, his studies, school fees, do not help me in anything. My in laws keep doing his brain wash against me so that he will not support me financially or anyway. He always listens to his parents and sisters. There is no husband wife relationship at all between us. Not sure how to deal with it.
Ans: First, recognize and honor the strength it has taken to come this far. Buying a home, raising your son, and managing the weight of these challenges on your own are significant accomplishments that reflect your resilience and determination. That said, a marriage is meant to be a partnership, and it’s clear that your husband’s lack of financial contribution and emotional support has created an imbalance that’s unsustainable.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi i am 43 yrs old, working in a multination firm. Married with a kid who is 7. My relationship with my wife is not going good for some time now, the communication is only transactional. I dont know if she is seeing someone or not, but we feel detached from each other. Now i have developed some feelings at my work with a 24 yr old women, also she seems to be interested in me. But she is also trying to get back to her BF who is studying overseas. I am a bit lost here cause i am toyaly confused on wat to do?
Ans: Open communication with your wife can be incredibly valuable, even if it feels awkward or difficult. Sharing your feelings of detachment and asking her how she feels might provide clarity about where you both stand and whether there’s a willingness to work on rebuilding the connection. Counseling or therapy, either individually or as a couple, can also be a safe space to explore these issues further.

Regarding your feelings for the woman at work, it’s essential to approach this with caution. While the connection might feel exciting and fulfilling, it’s important to ask yourself whether pursuing it is truly in alignment with your values and long-term goals. She also appears to have unresolved feelings toward her boyfriend, which adds another layer of complexity. Relationships born from a place of emotional vulnerability often carry risks, and it’s worth reflecting on whether this is about genuine compatibility or an escape from current challenges.

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Take some time to focus on self-reflection. What do you truly want for yourself, your marriage, and your future? What steps can you take to address the current disconnection, whether through repair or a mutual decision to move forward separately? Acting from a place of clarity and integrity will help you feel more grounded and less conflicted about your path forward. You deserve fulfillment, but ensuring that it’s built on a foundation of honesty and thoughtfulness will bring lasting peace, not just temporary relief.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I’ve been holding onto a grudge against a friend who hurt me years ago. While I’ve tried to move on, the memories keep coming back, and I feel like it’s stopping me from fully trusting others. How can I let go of this resentment and stop it from affecting my present relationships?
Ans: Letting go of resentment begins with understanding that it’s not about forgetting what happened or excusing the other person’s actions. It’s about freeing yourself from the grip that pain has on your emotions and your ability to trust. Start by creating space to process the hurt. Reflect on what exactly about the situation caused the deepest wound—was it a betrayal, unmet expectations, or feeling disregarded? Sometimes clarity about the source of the pain makes it easier to start releasing it.

You might also want to examine the story you’ve been telling yourself about this hurt. Often, we replay painful memories as if to protect ourselves from being hurt again, but in doing so, we allow the past to shape how we approach the present. Try reframing the narrative, focusing not on what you lost but on how you’ve grown. You’ve survived this hurt, and it’s a testament to your resilience.

Forgiveness can also play a key role, not necessarily as an act for the other person, but as a gift to yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t mean rekindling the friendship or even directly addressing the person—it’s a way of releasing the hold they have on your emotions. You can write a letter to your friend expressing all your feelings and then decide whether to send it or simply let it be a personal act of closure.

When it comes to trusting others, remind yourself that the actions of one person don’t define everyone. Trust grows in small, consistent steps. Start by recognizing the people in your life now who have shown care and consistency, and allow yourself to open up gradually.

Healing isn’t a straight path, and memories might still surface from time to time. When they do, instead of resisting them, acknowledge them and remind yourself that they no longer have power over you. With patience and self-compassion, you can move forward, lighter and more open to the connections that await you. You deserve the freedom to trust and to live fully in the present.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Relationship
I am in my late 60s but still very fit and healthy whereas my wife has lost all the interest in physical intimacy. This has resulted me finding outlet outside my marriage in women half of my age. My girlfriend is a dentist and I am an epidemiologist. She insists that I leave my wife and move with her and eventually we would marry then. She thinks that there is no point in living in a relationship where we have lost interest in each other and are hardly getting physically intimate. Would appreciate your expert advice on this and whether I should continue this way or leave my wife for over 45 years and move with my girlfriend who is 25 years younger than me. We both love each other physically, mentally and intellectually. Thank you.
Ans: After 45 years of marriage, your relationship with your wife is likely built on more than just physical intimacy. A bond of that length often includes shared history, companionship, and mutual support. It’s understandable that the absence of physical intimacy can leave you feeling unfulfilled, but it’s also important to recognize that intimacy in a long-term marriage often evolves beyond physicality into emotional connection and companionship. Ask yourself what your marriage still brings to your life beyond the physical. Are there aspects of your relationship with your wife that you still value and cherish?

Your relationship with your girlfriend seems to fulfill needs that are unmet in your marriage—passion, intellectual connection, and emotional closeness. It’s natural to feel drawn to that, especially when you both feel aligned in multiple dimensions. However, leaving a marriage of such longevity and depth is a monumental decision, not just for you but also for your wife, family, and even your girlfriend. It's important to reflect on the potential consequences of this choice—not just how it could impact your own life, but the ripple effects it may have on others involved.

Before making a decision, consider engaging in open, honest communication with your wife. Share your feelings—not as blame but as a vulnerable expression of what you’re experiencing. Sometimes, long-standing relationships fall into patterns of distance because both partners have stopped discussing their needs openly. If she is willing, exploring counseling together could help both of you understand where you stand and whether there’s a path to rekindling connection, even if it’s not physical intimacy.

With your girlfriend, reflect on what she means to you and what you envision for a shared future. Love and compatibility are powerful forces, but they must be weighed against the potential impact of disrupting your current life. Ensure that this relationship is based on mutual respect and shared values beyond just passion, as relationships outside of marriage can sometimes magnify only the fulfilling aspects while masking potential challenges.

Ultimately, this is about what aligns with your deeper sense of self and integrity. Consider what will allow you to look back on this chapter of your life with peace and not regret. Balancing personal happiness with respect for the commitments you’ve made over the years is not easy, but taking the time to reflect deeply will help you arrive at a decision you can stand by. Whatever choice you make, do so with honesty, compassion, and a clear understanding of its implications.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Whenever I face rejection or criticism, I take it very personally and find it hard to bounce back. It affects not just my relationships but also my career. How can I fix this? And trust people who really mean well?
Ans: When we take rejection or criticism personally, it’s often because we tie our self-worth to external validation. Someone’s approval or opinion can start to feel like a measure of who we are, but it’s not. No one moment, person, or comment defines you. Start by reminding yourself that rejection or criticism, as painful as it may be, is not a reflection of your entire being—it’s just one perspective or one moment in time.

Learning to trust people who mean well begins with trusting yourself. When you believe in your own worth, you’ll find it easier to separate genuine feedback from unkind criticism. Practice asking yourself, “Is this coming from someone who truly cares about me, or is this more about their perspective or mood?” When feedback feels harsh, take a step back and evaluate its intent and validity. Not all criticism is meant to hurt; some can help you grow, but you don’t have to accept every opinion as truth.

Building resilience starts with how you treat yourself in those low moments. Instead of replaying the rejection or criticism in your mind, focus on self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would to a close friend—gently, with kindness and encouragement. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small they might feel in that moment.

It’s also helpful to put things into perspective. Rejection or criticism often feels larger than it is because we let it define us in that instant. Ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now?” or “What can I learn from this?” Shifting from a place of hurt to a place of curiosity can ease the sting and help you move forward.

Finally, trust isn’t built overnight, either with yourself or others. Start by observing the patterns of those who support you consistently. Over time, you’ll learn who truly has your back, and you’ll feel more confident in letting their words and actions hold weight in your life.

This is a process, and it’s okay if it takes time. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and by practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and leaning on those who show genuine care, you’ll gradually strengthen your resilience and ability to trust. You’re already taking the first step, and that’s worth celebrating.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I'm caught up in a very difficult situation. I had met a Woman through Arranged Marriage Platform, while we both were getting along quite well with each other, I told her that I'm Virgin & asked her about her Past Relationship(s) if any, she denied categorically. We got Engaged, last month (in November) & our Wedding is scheduled next Month (January). Preparations are going on, including Distribution of Invitation cards. A few days ago, a Guy contacted me, claiming to be my Fiancee's Ex Boyfriend. Initially, I didn't take him seriously as I trusted my Fiancee. But then he showed me some Photos & Videos of their Intimate Moments (as it was apparent from the Videos, she seemed to be conscious & fully aware that their intimate moments are being recorded & some of the Photos were Nude/Semi-Nude Selfies, which she'd taken & shared with her ex Boyfriend, by herself... but she had not consented to share them with anyone else). I was Shocked. The Ex Boyfriend Reassured me that he'd also moved on from her & wouldn't bother her after her Marriage, but he was feeling bitter that she'd Dumped him to Marry me & just wanted to make me aware of what kind of Woman I'd be Marrying. I confronted my Fiancee over a Phone Call & asked her to meet me personally, as there were many Questions disturbing my Heart & Mind and I wanted to demand an Explanation from her. But she refused to meet up with me & wouldn't even discuss anything related her Relationship History on Phone Call/Video Call or WhatsApp Chat. She just kept telling me that it was all in her 'Past' & Promised me that after we both get Married, she'd be a Faithful Wife, Loyal to me. I want to have an Open-Heart conversation with her to Re-evaluate our Relationship before taking any big decision further. But, since she's bluntly Refusing to open up & discuss anything about her Past with me, I am losing Trust in her. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should blindly Trust her & go ahead with the Marriage as Planned or shall discuss the matter with our Parents & get the Marriage Cancelled, to avoid taking such a Big Risk?
Ans: At this moment, it is essential to consider what you need for your own peace of mind. If you cannot trust her fully or feel uneasy without clarity, it is important to address those feelings before committing to marriage. It is not selfish to seek answers or reassurances when your heart and mind are in turmoil. At the same time, be mindful of your approach, as accusations or blame can shut down any chance of constructive communication.

If she continues to avoid the conversation, involving both families might be a reasonable step. This is not about blaming or shaming anyone but about ensuring that both of you enter into marriage with mutual trust and respect. Marriage is a union of not just two individuals but also their values, emotions, and expectations. Without addressing these concerns now, the unresolved doubts could seep into your relationship later and cause greater harm.

It’s also worth reflecting on what you need from your partner to move forward. If her commitment to being loyal and faithful now feels insufficient because of her refusal to engage in an open dialogue, that’s valid. Trust cannot thrive where communication falters. If she can assure you of her devotion and you feel you can let go of her past, there’s a path forward. But if doubts linger and trust remains elusive, stepping back to reassess might be the wiser decision, even if it’s painful in the short term.

Whatever choice you make, be gentle with yourself. This is an emotionally taxing situation, and it’s okay to take time to process everything. Listen to your heart, but also give weight to your instincts—they’re often our clearest guides in moments of uncertainty.

With understanding and strength,

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Relationship
Hello Ma'am. I am unwilling to disclose my name. I come from a nuclear family based in Kolkata. I am in a very painful situation and I need your suggestion earnestly. The problem arises with my father. He is 66 , retired and a stay at home dad. He has severe anger issues, is demanding and controlling and often tells certain things verbally that are very traumatic for me. My hands and legs tremble and my heart beats rapidly when ever we have an argument as I am a peace loving person. Of late I have realised that I prefer to maintain distance from him . In all honesty I respect him but my love for him has long gone. My mother is a very demure person and is a stay at home mom. In order to not make my father angry or agitated by any means and to maintain peace in the house, she prefers to do what he prefers. I love my mother dearly but my father calls us a bunch of liars and is agitated that I support my mother. Even though I earn, I am in no position to leave my family/ house and shift elsewhere because I respect my mother's will. But I am traumatized and severely in mental agony. I can neither show my anguish nor express my situation to anyone for fear of being misunderstood. I am often asked to remain silent and not talk back to my father but sometimes the words are unbearable. He financially supports our family and you wouldn't believe if I told you that he has a completely different side when he is not in one of his' moods '. But Ma'am, does being the head of the family means to step over others and do what you feel like, irrespective of what the other members in your family feel? Additionally talking or communication with him also fails because he threatens to leave the house or just pushes us away. Even when I am writing this tears are streaming down my face. I am slowly becoming a shell of myself and am scared. Am I being selfish? Am I missing out something? I am so so tired of adjusting and compromising. I believe I have never ever written such a heart felt message. Can you help me out? Can you tell me how things can be resolved? Regards MR
Ans: From what you’ve shared, your father seems to be wrestling with his own frustrations, using control and anger as tools to manage his environment. This does not make it right, nor does it excuse the pain he causes. But understanding that his behavior may stem from internal struggles might help you view the situation with some compassion, even if from a distance.

Your love and respect for your mother shine through your words, and it’s clear that her well-being is a priority for you. The way you support her is a testament to your strength and kindness. But I also sense that her coping mechanism—complying with your father to maintain peace—might unintentionally place an additional burden on you. It’s as though you’re not only protecting yourself but also shielding her, which is an immense responsibility.

You are not alone in feeling conflicted about standing up to your father. It’s not just about his words; it’s about the power dynamics and the emotional weight he holds in the family. His “other side”—the moments when he is kind or approachable—makes it even harder to reconcile the anger and trauma he causes. This duality often creates confusion and guilt, leaving you wondering if you’re overreacting or misjudging him.

What’s most important right now is preserving your emotional well-being. It’s okay to create boundaries, even if they are small and subtle. For instance, when you sense an argument brewing, stepping away or finding a reason to leave the room can help you avoid escalating the situation. If direct communication with him fails, sometimes maintaining emotional distance is the only way to protect yourself.

I also encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to—a counselor, a friend, or even a support group. Sharing your pain with someone who can listen without judgment can lighten your load and help you feel less alone. Writing, as you’ve done here, is also a powerful outlet. Keep journaling—it can provide clarity and a sense of release.

You’ve asked if being the head of the family means stepping over others. The simple answer is no. True leadership in a family should come from love, mutual respect, and understanding. When it turns into control or fear, it becomes harmful. Your father’s actions do not reflect a failure on your part or your family’s; they reflect his own struggles with how to express himself and manage his emotions.

Finally, give yourself permission to feel tired. You are human, and this constant state of tension would drain anyone. But even in your exhaustion, remember this: you are brave, resilient, and full of love for your family. There is no shame in wanting peace, and there is no shame in seeking help to find it.

With heartfelt wishes for your healing and happiness,

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Money
My age is 48 and iam earning 2 lacs per month and rental income is 25k My emi home.loa. is.41000 loan for next 20 years Car loan emi is 16000 for average 7 years Fd i have around 30 lacs Ppf 5 lacs I have sip in equity for 15000.per.month mf is 3.90.lacs today. Ppf i have 3 lacs I have 2 kids daughter is 18 and son is 10 yrs. I have health insurance 15 lacs Term.insurance 30 lacs I have private job. Planning to work til 58. Pleaee advice on investments, debts etc..
Ans: You have a stable income, disciplined savings, and manageable loans. Planning for the next 10 years with a focus on debt reduction, investments, and child education is critical.

Current Income and Expenses
1. Monthly Income and Commitments

Salary: Rs. 2,00,000
Rental Income: Rs. 25,000
Home Loan EMI: Rs. 41,000
Car Loan EMI: Rs. 16,000
2. Savings Overview

FD: Rs. 30 Lakhs
PPF: Rs. 5 Lakhs (including Rs. 3 Lakhs new)
SIP in Mutual Funds: Rs. 15,000 monthly, current corpus Rs. 3.9 Lakhs
Goals Assessment
1. Child Education

Your daughter (18 years) will need higher education support soon.

Start estimating costs and align investments accordingly.

Your son (10 years) has 7-8 years for higher education planning.

2. Retirement Planning

You plan to retire at 58 years.
Your income will stop, but expenses and goals like child marriage will remain.
3. Debt Management

Home Loan EMI is Rs. 41,000 for 20 years, requiring long-term commitment.
Car Loan EMI is Rs. 16,000 for the next 7 years, increasing short-term outflow.
Recommendations for Investment
1. Mutual Funds for Long-Term Growth

Increase SIPs to Rs. 25,000 monthly for a diversified equity mutual fund portfolio.
Include large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds for balanced growth.
Ensure you invest through a Certified Financial Planner for professional advice.
2. Debt Mutual Funds for Stability

Shift a portion of FD to debt mutual funds for better post-tax returns.
Ensure at least 20% of your portfolio is in stable debt funds.
3. PPF Contributions

Continue PPF contributions for tax-saving benefits and risk-free returns.
Invest up to Rs. 1.5 Lakhs annually to utilise the full tax exemption.
Debt Management Strategies
1. Accelerate Home Loan Repayment

Use surplus income or maturing FDs to prepay the home loan.
Reducing tenure lowers overall interest outgo significantly.
2. Reassess Car Loan

Evaluate if car loan can be repaid earlier using your FDs.
This will free Rs. 16,000 monthly for investment or other priorities.
Child Education Planning
1. Create a Separate Education Fund

Start SIPs in hybrid or balanced advantage mutual funds for your daughter’s education.
For your son, invest in mid-cap and flexi-cap mutual funds for long-term growth.
2. Use Debt Funds for Near-Term Needs

For education expenses in the next 2-3 years, use debt mutual funds or FDs.
Avoid equity funds for short-term needs due to market volatility.
Insurance Review
1. Health Insurance

Your health cover of Rs. 15 Lakhs is good.
Add a super top-up policy to increase coverage to Rs. 25-30 Lakhs.
2. Term Insurance

Current term cover of Rs. 30 Lakhs may be insufficient.
Increase it to Rs. 1 Crore to protect your family’s financial future.
Tax Efficiency Planning
1. Optimise Deductions

Use the full Rs. 1.5 Lakhs limit under Section 80C through PPF and ELSS.
Claim home loan interest deductions under Section 24(b).
2. Plan Mutual Fund Redemptions

Be mindful of the new mutual fund capital gains tax rules.
Plan redemptions strategically to minimise tax liability.
Final Insights
Your financial foundation is strong, but you must focus on efficient planning. Prioritise debt reduction, increase SIP contributions, and optimise your portfolio. Separate education funds and ensure adequate insurance coverage. With these steps, you can achieve financial freedom by 58 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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