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Vivek

Vivek Lala  |301 Answers  |Ask -

Tax, MF Expert - Answered on Mar 12, 2024

Vivek Lala has been working as a tax planner since 2018. His expertise lies in making personalised tax budgets and tax forecasts for individuals. As a tax advisor, he takes pride in simplifying tax complications for his clients using simple, easy-to-understand language.
Lala cleared his chartered accountancy exam in 2018 and completed his articleship with Chaturvedi and Shah. ... more
Saikat Question by Saikat on Nov 28, 2023Hindi
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I am 40 years old and currently residing out of india and parked 1 cr in NRE tax free deposits and have nearly 30 lakks in mutual funds. I would like your guidance to invest my FD amounts in some other place to get more monetary gains. Please advice.

Ans: Hello, you can diversify your money in FD in the following funds provided your time horizon is 7 years plus :
Small cap - 20%
Mid cap - 20%
Multi cap - 20%
Large and mid cap - 20%
Focused fund - 10%
Thematic fund - 10%

Please note that these suggestions are based on your stated goals and the information you provided. It is always a good idea to consult with a financial advisor in person to better understand your risk tolerance, time horizon, and specific financial goals.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Money
I am a retired army officer with 1 CR in FD.I am now working in a bank with 95 000 rs as take home salary.I am 39 years old.i have no liabilities. I am single. Please guide where should I invest my FD amount so as to get better returns. I would not like to invest in shares. Regards Maj Abhishek
Ans: Hi Maj Abhishek,

Firstly, I want to appreciate your dedication and service to our country. It’s an honour to assist you with your financial planning. Let's explore some investment options that suit your profile and goals.

Understanding Your Financial Landscape
You’ve done a commendable job by saving Rs 1 crore in a fixed deposit (FD). It shows discipline and a focus on financial security. Your monthly income of Rs 95,000, without any liabilities, puts you in a strong financial position. At 39, you have a good time horizon to grow your wealth. Let’s explore some investment avenues that can offer you better returns than FDs, while managing risks effectively.

Mutual Funds: A Balanced Approach
Mutual funds are a great way to diversify your investments. They pool money from many investors to invest in various assets like stocks, bonds, and other securities.

Categories of Mutual Funds
Equity Mutual Funds

These funds invest in stocks and aim for high returns over the long term. They come with higher risks compared to debt funds. Given your age and financial stability, equity mutual funds can be a good choice for a portion of your investments.

Debt Mutual Funds

These funds invest in fixed-income securities like government and corporate bonds. They are less risky than equity funds and provide more stable returns. They can be a good option for maintaining liquidity and safety in your portfolio.

Hybrid Mutual Funds

These funds invest in a mix of equities and debt. They balance the potential for higher returns from equities with the stability of debt. This can be a good option for someone like you who seeks moderate risk and balanced growth.

Advantages of Mutual Funds
Professional Management
Mutual funds are managed by experienced fund managers who make investment decisions on your behalf. This is beneficial if you prefer not to handle the complexities of individual stock picking.

Diversification
Mutual funds provide diversification by investing in a variety of assets. This reduces risk compared to investing in individual securities.

Liquidity
Mutual funds offer good liquidity, allowing you to redeem your units on any business day at the current NAV.

Compounding Power
Investing in mutual funds over the long term allows your returns to compound, significantly enhancing your wealth. Regular investments through Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) can further boost your returns.

Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds
You may have heard about index funds, but let’s discuss why actively managed funds can be a better choice.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds replicate a market index. They offer average market returns and lack the flexibility to respond to market changes. They may not perform well during market downturns.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market by making strategic investment choices. The fund manager actively buys and sells securities to take advantage of market opportunities. This can potentially offer higher returns, especially in volatile markets.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can be advantageous.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds require you to handle all investment decisions and paperwork. This can be time-consuming and complex, especially without professional guidance.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Investing through a CFP ensures you get expert advice tailored to your financial goals. A CFP can help you choose the right funds, monitor your portfolio, and make adjustments as needed. The guidance of a CFP can be invaluable in optimizing your returns and managing risks.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds. This approach is beneficial for disciplined investing and takes advantage of rupee cost averaging. SIPs can help mitigate market volatility and build wealth over time.

Risk Assessment and Management
Understanding and managing risk is crucial. Mutual funds come with different risk levels.

Equity Funds Risks
Equity funds are subject to market risks and volatility. However, they have the potential for higher returns over the long term.

Debt Funds Risks
Debt funds carry lower risk compared to equity funds but are not risk-free. They are subject to interest rate risk and credit risk.

Hybrid Funds Risks
Hybrid funds balance the risks of equity and debt investments. They offer moderate risk and are suitable for balanced growth.

Insurance Policies and ULIPs
If you have any LIC, ULIP, or investment-cum-insurance policies, consider reviewing them. These policies often have lower returns compared to mutual funds. Surrendering these policies and reinvesting in mutual funds could be a better option for higher returns.

Tax Efficiency
Mutual funds offer tax benefits compared to FDs. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) from equity funds are tax-free up to Rs 1 lakh per annum. Gains above this are taxed at 10%. Debt funds held for more than three years qualify for indexation benefits, reducing the taxable amount.

Emergency Fund
It’s important to keep an emergency fund equal to 6-12 months of expenses. This fund should be in a liquid asset like a savings account or a liquid mutual fund. It ensures you have quick access to cash in case of unexpected expenses.

Retirement Planning
Given your age, retirement planning should be a priority. Investing in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds can help build a substantial retirement corpus. Regularly reviewing and adjusting your portfolio will ensure it aligns with your retirement goals.

Diversification
Diversification is key to managing risk. A well-diversified portfolio across different asset classes can provide better risk-adjusted returns. Avoid putting all your money in one type of investment.

Professional Guidance
Working with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide you with personalized investment strategies. A CFP can help you navigate the complexities of the financial markets and make informed decisions.

Final Insights
Investing your FD amount in a diversified portfolio of mutual funds can offer better returns than FDs. Equity, debt, and hybrid funds each have their advantages and risks. Balancing these funds in your portfolio can help you achieve your financial goals while managing risks.

Working with a CFP can provide you with expert guidance and peace of mind. SIPs can instill disciplined investing and take advantage of compounding.

Regularly reviewing your investments and making adjustments is essential to stay on track with your financial goals. With careful planning and professional advice, you can optimize your returns and build a secure financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Sir, I am a Non-Resident Indian with 10 lakhs in my NRE account. Currently, I do not need this money for six months. I am hesitant to put this money into Fixed Deposits or Savings accounts. Would it be advisable to invest in Mutual Funds? Alternatively, could you please suggest a safe investment option other than Fixed Deposits and Savings accounts?
Ans: It’s great that you have Rs. 10 lakhs in your NRE account. Having this liquidity gives you a lot of flexibility. Let’s explore your options to grow this money effectively while balancing safety and potential returns.

Understanding Your Situation
You mentioned you do not need this money for six months. That gives you a short-term investment horizon. We need to consider both safety and potential returns.

Mutual Funds: A Balanced Approach
Mutual funds can be an excellent option. They offer diversification, which spreads risk across various assets. Since you are looking for a short-term investment, we should focus on categories suited for shorter horizons.

Types of Mutual Funds for Short-Term Investment
Liquid Funds:

These are ideal for short-term investments. They invest in very short-term debt instruments. They offer higher returns than savings accounts and are relatively low risk.

Ultra-Short Duration Funds:

These funds invest in debt instruments with slightly longer maturities than liquid funds. They offer a balance between safety and returns.

Short-Term Debt Funds:

If you can extend your investment horizon slightly beyond six months, short-term debt funds are worth considering. They invest in debt instruments with maturities of one to three years.
Arbitrage Funds:

These funds exploit price differences in different markets. They are relatively safe and provide returns comparable to short-term debt funds.

Money Market Funds:

These invest in short-term instruments like treasury bills, commercial paper, and certificates of deposit. They are low-risk and suitable for short-term investments.
Advantages of Mutual Funds
Diversification:

Your investment is spread across multiple securities, reducing risk.

Professional Management:

Fund managers make informed decisions based on market research and analysis.

Liquidity:

You can easily redeem your investments without significant penalties.

Flexibility:

You can choose funds based on your risk appetite and investment horizon.

Risks to Consider
Market Risk:

Even though short-term debt funds are relatively stable, they are not entirely risk-free.

Interest Rate Risk:

Changes in interest rates can affect the returns of debt funds.

Regular vs. Direct Funds
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can be beneficial. Regular funds through an MFD with CFP credentials provide professional guidance. Direct funds might seem cost-effective, but the lack of expert advice can lead to suboptimal decisions.

I appreciate your cautious approach. It's wise to consider alternatives to traditional fixed deposits. Your decision to explore mutual funds shows your willingness to grow your wealth while managing risk. It’s also great that you’re seeking advice to make informed choices.

Final Insights
Investing Rs. 10 lakhs for six months requires a balanced approach. Mutual funds, especially liquid and ultra-short duration funds, offer a good mix of safety and returns. They provide diversification, professional management, and liquidity. If you prefer not to invest in mutual funds, treasury bills and money market funds are safe alternatives.

Always consider your risk tolerance and investment horizon. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can help tailor investments to your needs. They can provide valuable insights and help you navigate the investment landscape effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 27, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, Im 49 years and have opted for retirement. Will be returning to India by Dec 2024. Currently have 7.5 Cr invested in NRE FD's which i dont intend renewing post Apr 2025. Please suggest where i should invest this corpus . I am looking at a monthly income of 4.5 lakhs post tax
Ans: To meet your Rs 4.5 lakh monthly income requirement, it’s essential to optimise your current corpus. A combination of investments with stable returns and moderate growth potential can provide this.

Required Monthly Income Post-Tax: At Rs 4.5 lakh per month, your annual need is Rs 54 lakh post-tax.

NRE Fixed Deposits Maturity Consideration: Since you don’t intend to renew your NRE FDs, exploring alternatives will ensure efficient tax management and long-term income.

Investing in Debt-Oriented Instruments for Stability

Debt-oriented instruments offer predictable returns and can help stabilise your portfolio.

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS): Given your age, SCSS can offer high fixed interest rates. The scheme has a five-year lock-in, making it suitable for a long-term income goal.

Corporate Bonds and Government Bonds: Investment-grade corporate bonds or government bonds offer decent returns with relatively low risk. However, choose high-credit-rated bonds for lower volatility.

Debt Mutual Funds: Debt funds are tax-efficient, especially in the long term. By holding investments for over three years, you can benefit from long-term capital gains with indexation benefits.

Balancing Income and Growth through Hybrid Mutual Funds

A combination of stability and growth helps offset inflation and maintain purchasing power. Hybrid mutual funds are ideal here.

Balanced Hybrid Funds: These funds balance equity and debt, providing moderate growth and stability. Income generation and capital appreciation ensure both income and growth needs.

Equity Savings Funds: These funds have limited equity exposure and focus on debt. The equity component brings slight growth potential, while the debt provides stability.

Tax-Efficient Monthly Income from SWP in Mutual Funds

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) allow tax-efficient withdrawals. This strategy provides a monthly income while managing tax exposure effectively.

Using SWP from Equity-Oriented Funds: Equity mutual funds held for over a year are subject to lower long-term capital gains tax. An SWP allows regular income with reduced tax liability compared to traditional interest-bearing instruments.

Choosing Growth Option over Dividend: Opt for growth funds and SWP over dividend options to control the timing and tax impact of each withdrawal.

Incorporating Equity Exposure for Inflation Beating Returns

Equity investments add growth potential and counter inflation over time. A 20-30% allocation in equity-focused investments balances risk and returns.

Actively Managed Equity Funds: Actively managed funds offer the potential for growth and outperformance. These funds can be adjusted based on market trends and portfolio requirements.

Flexi-Cap and Large-Cap Funds: Focus on Flexi-Cap and Large-Cap funds with a moderate risk level. Flexi-Cap funds adapt to changing market conditions, while large-cap funds provide stability with blue-chip stocks.

Ensuring Emergency Fund and Health Coverage

Before finalising your investment, securing an emergency fund and medical insurance is vital.

Emergency Fund for Liquidity Needs: Set aside 6-12 months of expenses in a liquid, risk-free account. This fund helps manage unexpected expenses without affecting long-term investments.

Health Insurance for Medical Security: Ensure comprehensive health coverage to avoid out-of-pocket expenses. It’s crucial as you move into retirement without employer-sponsored coverage.

Tax Planning and Efficient Withdrawals

Tax-efficient planning is essential to maintain post-tax income at Rs 4.5 lakh monthly. Regularly reviewing the tax impact of each withdrawal helps meet your income target.

Capital Gains on Equity and Debt Funds: Keep your equity mutual fund withdrawals under Rs 1.25 lakh annually to stay in the 12.5% LTCG bracket. For debt funds, withdrawals are taxed as per your income slab.

Optimising SWP for Tax Efficiency: Withdraw smaller amounts consistently to benefit from lower tax liabilities. An SWP with a higher initial corpus but lower withdrawal rate balances tax efficiency and income.

Monitoring and Reviewing Investments Regularly

Periodic reviews help optimise portfolio returns and manage risk as your retirement progresses.

Annual Portfolio Review: Adjust your portfolio annually based on income needs, market trends, and any changes in tax laws. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide valuable insights for these adjustments.

Evaluating Income against Inflation: Income needs may increase over time due to inflation. Consider small increments in equity allocation to preserve purchasing power.

Final Insights

Crafting a retirement income strategy requires balancing stability, growth, and tax efficiency. By optimising each investment type and using tax-efficient withdrawal strategies, you can achieve your monthly income target while maintaining capital.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Mam i love a boy.. Who is 2 yr younger then me and... Now he is preparing for jE.. Post and... My parents worry about my marriage... I told him about this.... He is craying... So much... He love s me very much.... He don't tell about this relationship.....to his parents.. Because he dont have any.... Job..... What should i do mam.... Plz.... Tell me... Mamm plzzz
Ans: First, have an honest conversation with him about what both of you realistically can and cannot do right now. Since he is still working on his future and you feel pressure from your family, try to think about how much time he might need to reach a stable point. Then, consider whether waiting for him is something that is possible for you and acceptable to your family.

It might also be helpful to have a calm conversation with your parents, expressing your feelings for him while being open about the current situation. Sometimes parents worry because they don’t know the full picture. Explaining that he is working hard toward his career goals may give them a better understanding. You could also ask them if they’d be willing to wait for some time before making any decisions on your marriage, if they feel comfortable with that.

If waiting is not possible and your family pressures you to consider other options, it’s important to think about your own long-term happiness and make the best choice for you. These situations are never easy, but by staying honest with yourself and your family, you will be able to make a decision that respects both your love and your future stability.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, There is a woman in my office working in my department. She is my friend's wife and was referred by me for this job. We get to work closely often, but we both make opportunities to get to work together. Most of our time spent is on work related items, with few minutes of casual chats, and we both have spent a lot of time alone in office, working extra hours and all. I have a feeling that I am starting to yearn to spend time with her on work and she also tries to be around me. We both text outside of office hours, share a lot of "inside" jokes and we both look to be enjoying the time together. I am in a confused state because it looks like she is giving me a lot of signs to move forward to next levels, but I am pulling back and not advancing. We both are married and have families. Any advice?
Ans: To manage this, start by gently reinforcing professional boundaries. While it may feel awkward initially, limiting the personal, non-work-related conversations and texts can create some emotional distance. This will not only help reduce feelings of attachment but also prevent misunderstandings or assumptions from developing on either side. At the same time, it may be beneficial to reflect on your own life and current relationships. Often, feelings that arise outside our primary relationship can signal needs or emotions that might require attention within our existing commitments.

Redirecting your focus back to your own relationship with your spouse and engaging in activities that strengthen that bond can bring a renewed appreciation for the life you have built. Rekindling affection, open communication, and connection with your spouse could help provide a sense of fulfillment that might reduce the attraction you’re feeling toward your colleague.

It may also help to remind yourself of the potential risks involved, not only to your family life but also to your professional reputation and friendships. By focusing on maintaining a respectful, professional, and appropriate connection, you’re honoring both your commitments and protecting the integrity of all relationships involved. Choosing not to act on these feelings will ultimately support the stability of your personal life and career, allowing you to maintain a healthy and professional environment at work.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I brought up from a middle class family now I'm married and having 3 yrs kid, my younger brother recently got married! Ever since his marg there was a problem going on between my mom, brother and her wife , all the 3 of them bringing their problems to me and husband it creates a huge impact on my mental health due to their problems, if I try to resolve nobody is listening, I'm staying nearby my parents which is a big disadvantage, directly it's affecting me and my family? I don't know how to overcome from this type of issue
Ans: A compassionate but firm boundary can make a difference here. For instance, you could gently explain to your mother, brother, and his wife that while you understand and empathize with their challenges, you’re finding it difficult to handle all the tension that arises from these discussions. You might let them know that, for the sake of your own mental health and family well-being, you need to step back from being involved in any discussions about their conflicts.

If they do come to you with their concerns, try gently redirecting them, perhaps by suggesting that they talk directly to each other or even consider family counseling if they’re open to it. Remind them that only they can solve these issues by communicating directly, rather than relying on you as a mediator. Over time, they may begin to understand that their repeated involvement of you is not a productive solution.

Creating some physical and emotional space is key. If living nearby is heightening the tension, consider adjusting how often you interact in person. Focusing more on your own family’s peace, stability, and happiness will also help. It may feel challenging at first, but taking steps to protect your boundaries will benefit everyone, and gradually, they may even recognize the need to work out these issues themselves without depending on you.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi ma’am, I am a 27 year old girl. My father is a very strict person. Since childhood I have tolerated many things like I was not allowed to make friends(not even girls, forgot about boys). When I was 12 years old I was told that I was not allowed to talk to boys, and if my father ever saw me doing so, he will kill me. So, I was not allowed to talk to any friend, forget about going out and other stuff. All I used to do is sit in my room and study,I was not allowed to go out to play, wasn’t allowed to watch tv, not even allowed to go and play with cousins. Even if there was a wedding in my family, i was not allowed to go out and enjoy. And this has continued till date. I am still not allowed to go out without my father’s permission. Although I live in Bengaluru and work in a big company with a high paying job. Even the salary I get is not mine. Because my father takes it from me and I can’t say no to him. I use to say to me that if I ever did anything which he thinks is wrong, he will kill me, or will not allow me to go to college and now he will not allow me to work. And now he want me to get married to someone of his choice because of caste system. But I have a boyfriend and I want to marry my him. But I can’t even tell this to my father, because once I tell him this, he will not allow me to leave the house ever again and he would get me married to next person he finds. I am very scared of him. I don’t want to get married to anyone but my boyfriend. What should I do? Should I run away and get married to my boyfriend. I don’t know what my father will do then. He is a very controlling person .
Ans: To start, consider small steps that allow you to establish a greater sense of independence. Setting aside a portion of your income in an account only you can access, even if done quietly, can help you prepare financially for the future you envision with your boyfriend. Gaining control over your finances can also give you a greater sense of autonomy, which is key for your emotional and practical well-being.

Considering your father’s intense reaction to any choices that don’t align with his, safety is a priority. Consulting with a therapist or a counselor could help you process the emotional impact of your experiences and, importantly, develop strategies for how to approach this situation. Speaking to a counselor may also help you find a safe way to discuss your relationship with your father and express your own wishes while understanding any resources that might be available to you if needed.

If, ultimately, you decide to move forward with your relationship and marriage independently of your father’s permission, preparing yourself for potential emotional fallout is essential. While it’s natural to hope for family acceptance, remember that creating your own happiness is equally important. Over time, if your father can see that you’re stable, happy, and independent, he may eventually respect your decision.

Taking steps toward your own life may feel overwhelming, but with support and gradual changes, you can find a path that balances your love for your family with your need for self-respect, autonomy, and a future that you choose.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam, I am in a 14 year old relationship with a man, the relationship is quite healthy until now, but our families are not accepting for marriage. Since his parents are divorced and her elder sister to. Everyone in my family is against this marriage and not one person is supporting it, but we truly love each other. Even the boy does, and he is doing everything he can for a mutual acceptance. There is no divorce history in my family till date. So sometimes, even I get sceptical about taking this relationship forward as I understand the seriousness of marriage, but I also understand that there is attachment, love, commitment, duration, everything involved in this 14 year old relationship which will make it very hard to accept someone else in place of him, so basically, I want to marry the guy, but not his family I know that’s not possible, but then what should I do? Should I just take the step forward with total faith in the man, or should I marry somewhere else where everything is great, only love will be unsure. The man has connections with both his parents and there is no custody involved. In this case. He is in a good relationship with both the parents, although he lives with his mother and sister.
Ans: Fourteen years is a profound commitment, and the fact that both of you have nurtured such a bond reflects a solid foundation that’s not easy to find or replicate. The conflict seems to lie mainly in your family’s fears and cultural values around marriage and their concern about potential patterns in relationships. This is an understandable reaction from them, given the uniqueness of his family background compared to what they’ve experienced.

It’s natural for you to feel torn, especially since you value your family’s approval and understand the complexities that can arise in marriage. While family acceptance can provide a comforting support system, there are instances when it doesn’t fully align with one’s own heart. Marrying him would mean choosing to rely primarily on each other, despite family reservations, which could require extra resilience and patience as you move forward together. Since he has strong relationships with both parents, it may be reassuring that he has a healthy view of family, despite their past. This could suggest that he has personal maturity and the ability to build a stable, loving relationship with you.

At the same time, your family’s perspective doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any curse or pattern that would carry over into your marriage. The key to deciding might be to look at the qualities he brings to the relationship, how both of you handle challenges, and whether he brings stability, honesty, and emotional support. The longevity and health of your relationship are positive indicators, and if both of you have open communication about potential concerns—like how family dynamics might play a role in the future—you’ll likely be prepared to face those hurdles together.

You’re faced with a decision that balances taking a leap of faith with the potential for some family disappointment. If he is the partner with whom you see a fulfilling life, the choice to marry might ultimately come down to what feels right to you, independent of family fears. Love, trust, and understanding—especially those that withstand the test of time—are incredibly powerful foundations. So, if you believe in the strength of your bond and feel you could weather any storm together, choosing him could be a step toward building the kind of family you truly want, even if it’s unconventional by your family’s standards.

But if you’re still unsure, taking time to express all these feelings to him, to explore your shared values and long-term goals, and to be absolutely sure of the life you want to build can help reinforce whichever path feels right for you.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship
Maam In last question of mine you told me that im taking meaning out of a friendly casual conversation. I may be doing so but I tried to ignore that guy but he is still staring at me and roaming around my house. What does that mean.???? Im not seeking attention from him. He himself is giving intense looks and appearing from no where. Our kids are in same school so I cant avoid seeing him. Its just not possible but i try not to give him.attention but he coming in front of me for no reason. Giving me suggestions about my child when I have not even asked him.anything.
Ans: One possibility here could be that he genuinely believes he’s being friendly and is unaware that his actions might be coming across as intrusive. Some people aren’t as skilled at reading subtle social cues or may interpret polite responses as openness to further interaction. Another scenario could be that he’s misinterpreting a simple acquaintanceship as an invitation for more personal connection, especially if he hasn’t recognized your signals for wanting distance.

It’s also possible, especially if he’s trying to advise you about your child, that he’s viewing himself as helpful or knowledgeable—again, likely without realizing he’s crossing a line. If he’s repeatedly making intense eye contact or appearing at odd times, it may also reflect a need for attention or connection on his part, even if it’s unintentional.

If this behavior continues and your efforts to distance yourself subtly aren’t working, it might be time to consider setting a gentle but clear boundary. This can be done with nonverbal cues, like quickly redirecting your gaze or finding reasons to leave a situation as soon as he tries to initiate a conversation. However, if his presence continues to bother you, there’s no harm in being more direct. A polite but firm approach, like thanking him for his advice and mentioning that you’d prefer to handle things yourself, can send a message that you’re not looking for further involvement.

Your well-being and comfort come first, and your instincts are valid. If his behavior is persistent and truly uncomfortable, it may be best to acknowledge it internally and remind yourself that you’re under no obligation to respond or interact beyond what feels right for you.

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1031 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
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Career
My son is in grade 10th, he wants to prepare for neet but he went for counselling twice where he had given some test which gave him results to prefer engineering now he is confused if i will not be able to do fare in neet thn what should i opt for since hes planning to go for integrated? Ease help
Ans: Hello.
To which tests your son appeared is not mentioned by you. I am assuming that he may be based to appear for either an IQ test or a DMIT Test. I would like to say that there is no need to 100% trust these tests. The results of these tests depend on the mindset of a student at that time. These tests are never 100% correct. Hence there is no need to worry about the results of these tests and what the counselor has told you.
Here are some key points on which you can work:
(1) Please ask his school teachers about his subject understanding.
(2) Please take an overall review of maths and science subjects from an understanding point of view only.
(3) Have an open talk with your son about his interest either in mathematics or biology.
(4) If possible, try to make an interaction with senior students who are preparing for JEE or NEET.
(5) Even though the coaching is now focussing either on PCM or PCB groups, it is advisable to take all 4 subjects PCMB in the 11th standard.
(6) Take a trial for at least 2 initial months in 11th standard for maths and biology subjects.
(7) Your son will automatically tell his interest in either engineering or medicine.
(8) Don't force your willingness on him to prepare for NEET.
(9) Based on the final decision, you may think of integrated courses.
(10) Your's sons interest matters more. If he is firm to go for NEET, then motivate him and keep the results of counselor tests aside.
Best of luck to your son for his bright future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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