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36-Year-Old Investor Seeks Portfolio Advice

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7016 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Anmol Question by Anmol on May 27, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi, I am of 36yrs age. Investing money in mutual funds. SBI balanced hybrid fund, DSP black Rock tax saver fund both 5000 each. Nippon India Multi cap fund-1000 HDFC defence fund -1000 Parag Parikh flexi cap fund-1000 And some amount in shares. I am thinking to invest more, please advise is my portfolio gud?

Ans: You’re 36 years old and have already begun investing in mutual funds and shares. This is a positive step towards securing your financial future. Let's evaluate your portfolio and provide guidance on how to enhance it for better returns.

Analysing Your Current Mutual Fund Choices
SBI Balanced Hybrid Fund: Balanced or hybrid funds provide a mix of equity and debt. They offer stability and potential growth. However, ensure that your choice aligns with your risk tolerance and goals.

DSP Black Rock Tax Saver Fund: This tax-saving fund offers tax benefits under Section 80C. It also has a lock-in period of three years. It is a good choice for combining tax savings with wealth creation.

Nippon India Multi Cap Fund: Multi-cap funds offer diversification across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. They balance risk and reward, making them a good long-term option.

HDFC Defence Fund: Thematic funds like this one focus on specific sectors. They can be high-risk, high-reward investments. Ensure it aligns with your long-term objectives.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Flexi-cap funds provide flexibility by investing across market capitalizations. They offer balanced growth potential, making them suitable for long-term investment.

Portfolio Strengths and Areas for Improvement
Diversification: Your portfolio is well-diversified across different fund categories. This reduces risk and provides multiple avenues for growth.

Sector-Specific Investment: The HDFC Defence Fund focuses on a specific sector. While it can offer high returns, it also carries higher risk. Monitor its performance closely and be ready to adjust if needed.

Tax-Saving Component: The DSP Black Rock Tax Saver Fund is beneficial for tax planning. However, remember that the focus should be on wealth creation rather than just tax savings.

Flexibility: The inclusion of a flexi-cap fund adds flexibility to your portfolio. This allows the fund manager to adapt to market conditions, potentially enhancing returns.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds may have lower expense ratios, but they require you to manage them yourself. This can be challenging without the expertise and time to regularly monitor and adjust your investments.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) in regular funds ensures that your investments are well-managed. A CFP provides ongoing advice, rebalances your portfolio as needed, and aligns it with your financial goals.

Recommendations for Future Investments
Given your existing portfolio, consider the following recommendations to enhance your investment strategy:

Add a Large Cap Fund: Large cap funds invest in established companies with stable performance. They provide steady growth and stability, balancing the higher risk of other funds in your portfolio.

Include a Debt Fund: Adding a debt fund can reduce overall portfolio risk. Debt funds offer regular income and are less volatile than equity funds. This addition can provide stability, especially in uncertain market conditions.

Consider a Balanced or Hybrid Fund: You already have one hybrid fund, but adding another can further stabilize your portfolio. This fund type invests in both equity and debt, offering balanced growth and reduced risk.

Increase SIP Contributions: If you plan to invest more, consider increasing your SIP contributions in existing or new funds. Even small increases can significantly impact your portfolio's growth over time.

Avoid Sector-Specific Overexposure: While sector funds like the HDFC Defence Fund can offer high returns, they also carry high risk. Ensure you are not overexposed to any single sector. Diversification across sectors is crucial.

Investing in Shares
Investing in shares is a good strategy for capital growth. However, shares come with higher risk compared to mutual funds. Here are some tips to manage your share investments:

Diversify Across Sectors: Just like with mutual funds, diversification in shares is key. Invest across different sectors to spread risk.

Monitor Regularly: Share investments require regular monitoring. Market conditions can change rapidly, so stay informed and be ready to make adjustments.

Consider Blue-Chip Stocks: If you haven't already, consider investing in blue-chip stocks. These are established companies with a track record of stable performance. They offer lower risk compared to smaller companies.

Achieving Your Long-Term Financial Goals
Your portfolio is well-structured, but there’s always room for improvement to achieve your long-term financial goals. Here are some strategies:

Set Clear Financial Goals: Define your financial goals clearly, whether it’s retirement planning, purchasing a home, or children’s education. This will guide your investment strategy.

Regular Portfolio Reviews: Regularly review your portfolio with your CFP. Adjustments may be needed based on market conditions and changes in your financial situation.

Consider Increasing Investments Over Time: As your income grows, consider increasing your investment amounts. This will help you reach your financial goals faster.

Stay Focused on Long-Term Growth: Avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market fluctuations. Stay focused on your long-term financial goals.

Finally
Your current investment portfolio is well-diversified and aligned with your financial goals. However, there are opportunities to enhance your strategy further. Consider adding a large cap and debt fund for better balance. Increase your SIP contributions and diversify your share investments.

Working with a Certified Financial Planner will ensure that your investments are regularly reviewed and aligned with your goals. This partnership will help you achieve your long-term financial objectives with confidence.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7016 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 05, 2023Hindi
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Hi sir I m currently investing 7500 in HDFC balanced advantage 2500 in SBI small cap 2500 in Parag Parikh flexi cap 2500 in kotak emerging midcap kindly advise shall I continue or change or add anything else to my portfolio I am 37 years old and looking to save for retirement I can invest 20k per month
Ans: Evaluation of Current Portfolio and Recommendations for Retirement Planning

Assessment of Current Investments

Your current investment portfolio reflects a thoughtful allocation across different fund categories, including balanced advantage, small-cap, and flexi-cap funds. This diversification is essential for managing risk and optimizing returns.

Analysis of Fund Selection

Each fund in your portfolio serves a specific purpose, whether it's capital preservation, growth potential, or a blend of both. The balanced advantage fund provides dynamic asset allocation, while small-cap and mid-cap funds offer exposure to companies with high growth potential.

Evaluation of Retirement Goals

At 37 years old, planning for retirement is a prudent financial objective. With a monthly investment capacity of Rs. 20,000, you have the opportunity to build a substantial corpus over time to support your retirement lifestyle.

Assessment of Risk Tolerance and Time Horizon

Considering your age and long-term investment horizon until retirement, you can afford to have a higher allocation to equity-oriented funds. However, it's essential to assess your risk tolerance to ensure your investment strategy aligns with your comfort level.

Recommendations for Portfolio Optimization

Increase Equity Exposure: Given your long-term retirement goal, consider increasing your allocation to equity funds gradually. Equity investments have historically provided higher returns over the long term, making them crucial for building retirement wealth.

Diversification Across Market Caps: While your current portfolio includes exposure to small-cap and flexi-cap funds, consider diversifying further by adding exposure to large-cap or multi-cap funds. This diversification can enhance portfolio stability and reduce concentration risk.

Regular Review and Rebalancing: Periodically review your portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your retirement goals and risk tolerance. Rebalancing may be necessary to maintain the desired asset allocation, especially during market fluctuations.

Professional Guidance: As a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), I recommend consulting with a qualified financial advisor to tailor your investment strategy based on your individual circumstances, goals, and risk profile. A professional advisor can provide personalized recommendations and ongoing support to help you achieve your retirement objectives.

Conclusion

In conclusion, your current investment portfolio reflects a balanced approach towards achieving your retirement goals. By increasing your equity exposure, diversifying across market caps, and regularly reviewing your portfolio, you can optimize your investment strategy for long-term wealth accumulation. Consulting with a professional advisor will further enhance your financial planning journey and increase the likelihood of achieving a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7016 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
My age is 32 and I earn 40,000 PM. I invest 11400/ month in MF. My investments are 2000 in UTI index equity fund, 2000 in Parag Parikh Flexi Fund, 2000 Quant Midcap Fund, 1500 Tata Small Cap fund, 1500 Nippon small cap fund, 1200 in Quant flexi cap, and 1200 in Axis Small cap. I have also invested a lump sum of 60,000 in Quant Infrastructure fund. Kindly advise if my portfolio is okay
Ans: Evaluating Your Mutual Fund Portfolio
At 32, investing in mutual funds with a disciplined approach is a commendable step towards building wealth for the future. Let's evaluate your current portfolio to ensure it aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Portfolio Composition
UTI Index Equity Fund:

Provides exposure to a diversified portfolio of large-cap stocks, tracking the performance of the underlying index. Offers stability and long-term growth potential.
Parag Parikh Flexi Fund:

A well-managed fund with a flexible investment approach across equity and debt securities. Known for its focus on quality stocks and global diversification.
Quant Midcap Fund:

Invests primarily in mid-cap companies with growth potential. Offers the opportunity for higher returns but comes with higher volatility.
Tata Small Cap Fund and Nippon Small Cap Fund:

Small-cap funds focus on companies with small market capitalization, offering high growth potential. However, they are more volatile and suitable for investors with a higher risk appetite.
Quant Flexi Cap and Axis Small Cap Fund:

Flexi-cap and small-cap funds provide flexibility to invest across market capitalizations. Ensure you're comfortable with the risk associated with small-cap investments.
Quant Infrastructure Fund (Lump Sum):

Infrastructure funds invest in companies involved in infrastructure development, such as construction, energy, and transportation. Consider the long-term prospects of the infrastructure sector and the fund's performance.
Assessing Portfolio Diversification
Your portfolio includes a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds, offering diversification across market capitalizations. However, it's essential to review the overlap between funds to avoid concentration risk and ensure adequate diversification.

Portfolio Review and Optimization
Risk Assessment:

Evaluate your risk tolerance and investment horizon to determine if the current allocation aligns with your financial goals.
Performance Review:

Monitor the performance of individual funds and compare them against their benchmarks and peer group. Consider making adjustments if any funds consistently underperform.
Asset Allocation:

Ensure your asset allocation is balanced and in line with your risk profile. Consider rebalancing if necessary to maintain the desired mix of equity and debt investments.
Professional Advice:

Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to review your portfolio and receive personalized recommendations based on your financial situation and goals.
Conclusion
Your mutual fund portfolio shows a diversified mix of investments across market capitalizations and sectors. Regularly review and assess your portfolio's performance to ensure it remains aligned with your financial objectives. Remember, investing is a long-term journey, and periodic adjustments may be necessary to navigate market fluctuations and achieve your wealth accumulation goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7016 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 13, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 41 year old.Monthly earning after tax is 1.6 lacs.I have 2 daughters elder one is 9 yrs old and younger one is 2 years old.Currently investing 19k in SIP.5K in ppf,10k in nps. Also vpf 12k deduction.Please help me to build portfolio which will help for daughters education and my retirement too.
Ans: Building a robust financial portfolio requires a comprehensive, balanced approach. Let’s explore a 360-degree solution that addresses your children's education and your retirement goals.

Financial Snapshot
Age: 41 years
Monthly Income (after tax): Rs 1.6 lakhs
Existing Investments:
SIP: Rs 19,000
PPF: Rs 5,000
NPS: Rs 10,000
VPF: Rs 12,000
Step 1: Defining Financial Goals
Identifying your primary goals is essential for crafting a tailored plan. You’ve highlighted two key objectives:

Daughters’ Education: Likely needed in the next 10-15 years
Retirement: Planning to secure a stable, inflation-adjusted income for the post-retirement phase
Let’s address these through a structured investment approach, balancing growth and stability.

Step 2: Reviewing Current Investments
SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) – Rs 19,000
Analysis: SIP in mutual funds is a commendable approach to long-term wealth creation. However, selecting actively managed funds over index funds is preferable, especially when aiming for above-average returns. Actively managed funds have a dedicated fund manager who can potentially generate higher returns by navigating market fluctuations.

Recommendation: Ensure a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds in your SIPs. Large-caps add stability, while mid-caps and small-caps contribute growth.

PPF (Public Provident Fund) – Rs 5,000
Analysis: PPF is a secure, tax-saving investment, ideal for conservative goals. However, PPF's fixed returns might not fully combat inflation, especially for longer-term goals like retirement.

Recommendation: Maintain your PPF contributions for tax benefits and partial safety but avoid relying on it as a primary wealth generator.

NPS (National Pension System) – Rs 10,000
Analysis: NPS is a good option for retirement, offering market-linked returns with tax benefits. However, NPS investments are locked until retirement, limiting liquidity.

Recommendation: Continue with NPS for its retirement-focused benefits. Opt for the active choice option, where you can decide on the equity-debt allocation, with a slight tilt towards equity for higher growth over time.

VPF (Voluntary Provident Fund) – Rs 12,000
Analysis: VPF offers safe returns and tax-saving benefits, but growth is limited. It’s best suited for the debt component of your portfolio, balancing out riskier equity investments.

Recommendation: Retain VPF contributions as a stable foundation but consider reducing it gradually to make room for more growth-oriented investments.

Step 3: Building an Optimized Portfolio for Your Goals
Goal 1: Daughters' Education
Equity Mutual Funds for Education Fund:

Allocate around Rs 15,000 per month towards equity mutual funds. These funds, when invested long-term, can grow at a rate sufficient to meet educational expenses.
Focus on a diversified portfolio of actively managed funds. Include large-cap funds for stability, flexi-cap funds for adaptability, and a portion in small-cap funds for aggressive growth.
Child-Specific Investment Plans:

Some fund houses offer child-specific mutual fund plans that combine equity and debt, designed for milestone needs like education. These plans can offer benefits, especially if you prefer a structured approach.
Regularly review and adjust the allocation based on your daughters’ education timeline, gradually shifting to more stable debt instruments as they approach college age.
Tax Efficiency:

Equity mutual funds are tax-efficient, especially if held long-term. Consider that long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are now taxed at 12.5%.
PPF Contributions for Education:

PPF can act as an additional safety net for education, offering assured, tax-free returns. Continue with your Rs 5,000 contribution, as PPF matures in 15 years, coinciding with your elder daughter’s higher education needs.
Goal 2: Retirement Planning
Increase SIP Allocation for Retirement:

As your income allows, consider increasing your SIP allocation gradually, ensuring a larger retirement corpus.
Select a balanced mix of large-cap and flexi-cap funds. These provide stable growth while safeguarding against market volatility.
Review and Increase NPS Contributions:

NPS contributions align well with retirement objectives. However, if you aim for more flexibility, consider shifting some VPF allocation towards additional SIPs in balanced or conservative hybrid funds. This way, you’ll have greater control over withdrawals and growth.
Balanced Advantage Funds for Stability:

Balanced Advantage Funds can offer a stable, low-volatility approach to retirement planning. They automatically adjust equity and debt allocation based on market conditions, providing growth with controlled risk.
Build an Emergency Fund in Liquid Assets:

Establish a liquid emergency fund, equivalent to 6 months’ expenses, in a low-risk avenue like a liquid fund or high-yield savings account. This safeguards you from unexpected needs without disturbing your retirement portfolio.
Step 4: Optimising Tax Efficiency
Utilize Tax Benefits Fully:

Section 80C: Max out deductions through PPF, VPF, and ELSS (if included in your SIPs).
Section 80CCD(1B): NPS offers an additional Rs 50,000 deduction under this section, a unique benefit for retirement investors.
Long-Term Gains and Tax Implications:

As per the new rules, LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5% for equity mutual funds. Plan withdrawals in a staggered manner post-retirement to optimize gains while minimizing tax.
Debt Funds for Stability and Tax-Efficiency:

Debt funds can complement your retirement portfolio with steady returns. Remember that both LTCG and STCG in debt funds are taxed as per your income slab, so timing withdrawals efficiently will reduce tax outflow.
Final Insights
Crafting a balanced portfolio is essential to ensure that you achieve both your daughters' education and retirement goals. Maintaining the right equity-debt mix in mutual funds, alongside tax-efficient options like NPS and PPF, will steadily build your corpus. Revisit and realign the plan regularly to account for any changes in financial goals or market conditions.

With these tailored strategies, you are set to build a secure future for yourself and your family. Regular reviews will further enhance growth and stability, helping you achieve your financial milestones.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7016 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 13, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi sir Kindly review my portfolio.. Investing below amount in SIP 1)Large cap - Axis 4500 Nippon 4500 2) Flexi cap - Parag parikh - 3000 Icici - 2500 3) Mid cap - Motilal - 2500 Aditya birla - 500 Kotak - 500 4) Small cap Tata - 1500 My goal for investing is my child education, child marriage and Retirement funds I planning to invest for next 15 years Kindly suggest which and all mutual fund I have to continue and remove for better returns.. Thank you
Ans: It’s great to see that you’re committed to securing funds for your child’s education, marriage, and retirement. These are critical milestones, and with the right approach, your investments can help you achieve them effectively.

Investment Goals and Approach

You have clear long-term objectives, which is ideal. Planning with specific goals like education, marriage, and retirement brings purpose to your investment journey. Given the 15-year investment horizon, you can take advantage of compounding benefits, especially with equity mutual funds. However, let’s ensure your portfolio is optimized for growth, risk, and tax efficiency.

Evaluating Your Mutual Fund Choices

Let’s look at your current investments across various categories:

1. Large Cap Funds
Large-cap funds provide stability, as they invest in established companies with relatively lower volatility. However, there can be limited scope for very high growth in large caps compared to mid or small caps.

You’re invested in two large-cap funds. It’s often advisable to focus on one high-performing large-cap fund to avoid overlap and unnecessary diversification.

Consider retaining a large-cap fund that has a consistent track record, active fund management, and strong research backing.

2. Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi-cap funds offer flexibility by investing across market caps. This allows the fund manager to capture growth opportunities in any segment of the market.

Holding two flexi-cap funds is fine, as it balances large and mid-cap stocks, offering both stability and growth. However, evaluate each fund’s performance and select one if you feel any duplication in returns.

3. Mid Cap Funds
Mid-cap funds offer growth potential but come with higher risk. Given your long-term horizon, they can be beneficial.

You currently have three mid-cap funds. It might be better to consolidate into one or two top-performing funds in this category to reduce excessive overlap and diversify across sectors rather than just fund names.

4. Small Cap Fund
Small-cap funds are suitable for aggressive growth but can be highly volatile. It’s wise to limit exposure to small caps, as they tend to fluctuate significantly, especially over shorter timeframes.

Given your portfolio composition, your allocation to small caps is moderate, which seems appropriate. However, ensure you are comfortable with the high-risk nature of small caps, especially if the market faces downturns.

Analysis of Direct vs. Regular Funds

Opting for direct funds might appear attractive due to lower expense ratios, but it’s crucial to weigh the potential downsides:

Lack of Guidance: Direct funds lack the guidance a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can offer. Expert support ensures your portfolio is regularly rebalanced and aligned with market changes, personal goals, and tax updates.

Regular Tracking: With a CFP’s help, your investments are reviewed frequently, making timely adjustments in case of underperformance. This hands-on approach is particularly helpful in achieving your long-term goals.

Tax Considerations: Regular funds through a CFP can help you optimize tax efficiency by offering proactive advice on capital gains, loss harvesting, and adjusting investments according to the new capital gains tax rules.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds

While index funds may seem attractive for their lower costs, actively managed funds bring added advantages, especially for long-term investors like you:

Potential for Higher Returns: Skilled fund managers actively seek growth opportunities that can outperform benchmarks over time. This could be a significant advantage given your long-term goals.

Flexibility in Market Movements: Active funds allow managers to make informed changes, adapting to market conditions and potentially protecting your investments during volatile phases.

Diverse Exposure: With active management, your funds are better diversified across sectors and stocks, reducing concentration risk and enhancing the potential for stable returns.

Investment Strategy Recommendations

Considering your goals and time horizon, here’s a comprehensive approach to optimize your portfolio:

Consolidate Fund Choices: Consider reducing similar funds within each category. This will provide clarity and focus, making it easier to track progress and reduce management complexity.

Review and Rebalance: Regularly review your portfolio performance, preferably with a CFP, to ensure each fund aligns with your risk tolerance and goals. Aim for annual rebalancing to stay on track.

Allocate Based on Goals: Assign specific funds for each goal. For example:

Child’s Education and Marriage: Given the moderate-to-high timeframe, allocate funds with a mix of stability (large-cap and flexi-cap funds) and growth (mid-cap).
Retirement: Invest in a diversified mix of flexi-cap and large-cap funds, along with a smaller allocation to mid-caps, as retirement is a long-term goal with a potentially higher investment horizon.
Avoid Overlapping: Limit overlap between funds by choosing those with unique holdings or management strategies. Too many funds can dilute returns, especially if they invest in similar stocks.

Tax Considerations

With recent changes in capital gains tax rules, be mindful of the following when planning exits or rebalancing:

Equity Mutual Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are now taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds: LTCG and STCG for debt funds are taxed according to your income tax slab.

Tax Efficiency: To minimize tax outgo, hold investments for the long term and consult a CFP for tax-optimized rebalancing.

Investment Horizon: Sticking to your 15-year investment plan can help mitigate tax impacts and optimize returns.

Insurance Evaluation

If you hold any LIC, ULIP, or investment-linked insurance policies, review their performance and fees. These products often come with high costs, which can limit returns. Consider surrendering such policies if they don’t align with your goals and reinvest in well-performing mutual funds instead.

Finally

Your commitment to a 15-year SIP plan shows your dedication to securing your family’s future. A structured, diversified approach with periodic reviews can enhance your portfolio’s performance, aligning it with your goals of education, marriage, and retirement.

A Certified Financial Planner can be a valuable partner in this journey, providing expert advice to help you make the most of your investments and adjust them as needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |414 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024
Relationship
my gf was physical(intercourse) just for once with her ex and her ex cheated on her she just had a 2 month relationship with her ex. and after that around just after a month we came in relationship and its been 2 months we are in a relationship we both go to same college but due to house problem she doesn't attend classes basically we are in a long distance relationship and she still remember him and when she goes to places where she meet her ex she still have flashback She is not fully with me even when i just ask her for a normal kiss she refuses and tells me what so hurry but when i asked her does she want to stay with me she told me yes i want to stay with you and she is ready to marry me as well when time comes she even told me that timely she will have feelings for me And for me all this is new this is my first relationship what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Refusing for a kiss isn't as concerning as her saying she will have feelings for you. Not everyone is ready for intimacy at the same time in all their relationships. As I mentioned earlier, there can be several reasons for this behavior. Please have an open conversation with her. Let her know that her behavior is bothering you and you want some clarity. If she still continues to say the same thing, you have the option to rethink the relationship.

I understand that you are feeling disturbed; it's not easy being on the receiving end. Please feel free to pick yourself first. You deserve someone who loves you completely.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |414 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 28, will be engaged in 3-4 months. It's an arranged marriage. I have met the girl one time, that too she was accompanied with her parents as her family is very conservative. We spoke privately for about half an hour. I know it's still not enough but I was able to have a good conversation. She was nervous at first but I made her feel comfortable and it was then time well spent. She is a sweet girl, even my maa papa like this girl but on the other hand, I am also getting worried as the days are coming near. Sometimes I feel like postponing the event. Is this normal? I also fear of things that happens in nowadays like getting divorce, extra marital affairs, alimony etc. What if she finds a better partner after marriage? Will she leave me? Due to this I cannot have proper sleep recently. Any suggestions to calm my nerves?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Many people get cold feet before getting married. It is very normal. All your questions are valid but you need to understand that in every relationship, it all comes down to trust. Whether you marry this woman or someone else, you have to trust her. And no one can really tell what the future holds. So we focus on the present and hope for the best.

I suggest speaking to your would-be partner a little more in the meantime. Getting to know her will put these doubts to rest. I'm sure she is equally concerned about what kind of person you are. Moreover, it is always a good idea to get to know each other better before committing for a lifetime. And, in case, you still think you need to postpone the event, do not shy away from doing so. It is better to take some time and make the right decision than to make a wrong decision in a hurry.

Hope this helps.
Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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