Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

36-Year-Old Woman Seeking Financial Advice: Building a Corpus for Family and Buying a Flat

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Apurva Question by Apurva on Jul 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

I am 36 yr old female serving in govt service from last 8 years. Current in hand salary is around 86000. I have 44000 loan payment due for next 9 years. I am saving in NPS as per govt rules of deductions. Can u suggest how I can build good corpus for family as I am the only earning member with 2 young boys ageing 5 and 1n half. I started saving 15000 in MF sip from last 2 months. How much corpus will be required. I have my own house in Delhi and 1 small flat in Gurgaon. How can grow all this in this future planning and investments.. I want to. Buy a big flat in Gurgaon but right now I don't have savings. Plz suggest how can I make it possible.

Ans: Current Financial Status
Age: 36 years
Occupation: Government service (8 years)
Monthly Salary: Rs 86,000 (in-hand)
Monthly Loan Payment: Rs 44,000 (for next 9 years)
Savings in NPS: Mandatory government deductions
Mutual Fund SIP: Rs 15,000 (started 2 months ago)
Real Estate: Own house in Delhi and a small flat in Gurgaon
Family: Single earner with two young boys (ages 5 and 1.5 years)
You have a stable job and a clear focus on future planning. Your current investments and real estate assets are good starting points.

Assessing Your Goals
Goal 1: Build a Good Corpus for Family
Time Frame: Long-term (15-20 years)
Primary Need: Financial security for your children’s future
Action: Systematic and disciplined investment in mutual funds and NPS
Goal 2: Buy a Bigger Flat in Gurgaon
Time Frame: Medium-term (5-10 years)
Primary Need: Larger living space in a desirable location
Action: Save aggressively for down payment and plan for a home loan
Recommendations for Investment Strategy
Increase SIP Contributions
Current SIP: Rs 15,000 per month
Suggested Action: Gradually increase SIP contributions as income grows
Fund Selection: Focus on diversified equity mutual funds for long-term growth
Utilise NPS Benefits
Current Savings: NPS as per government rules
Action: Consider making additional voluntary contributions to NPS for higher corpus and tax benefits
Emergency Fund
Importance: Essential for unexpected expenses
Action: Build an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses
Placement: Keep this in liquid funds or a high-interest savings account
Insurance Review
Life Insurance: Ensure adequate coverage for family’s security
Health Insurance: Adequate health coverage for yourself and children
Loan Management
Current Loan: Rs 44,000 per month for 9 years
Action: Continue regular payments; consider prepaying if possible to reduce interest burden
Steps to Achieve a Bigger Flat in Gurgaon
Save for Down Payment
Time Frame: 5-10 years
Action: Allocate a portion of savings specifically for down payment
Investment: Consider short-term debt funds for safety and modest returns
Plan for Home Loan
Preparation: Ensure good credit score and stable financial profile
Loan Tenure: Choose a tenure that keeps EMI affordable within your budget
Increase Savings Rate
Current Savings: Rs 15,000 in SIPs
Suggested Action: Aim to save at least 20% of your income for goals
Building a Retirement Corpus
Set Clear Goals
Target Retirement Age: Determine when you plan to retire
Required Corpus: Estimate the amount needed to sustain your lifestyle post-retirement
Regular Contributions
Increase SIPs: Aim to increase your SIP contributions annually
Consistent Savings: Ensure regular and disciplined savings for long-term growth
Automatic Investments: Set up automatic transfers to investment accounts
Final Insights
You have a solid foundation with a stable job and clear goals. Increase your SIPs, make additional contributions to NPS, and build an emergency fund. Save aggressively for the down payment of a bigger flat and manage your loan efficiently. Regularly review your financial situation and consult a certified financial planner.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello Sir, I am a Govt Employee aged 31 Yrs. Salary 1.5L per month. Savings - 1. Monthly Investment in Govt Savings Scheme with 7.1% ROI. Total Corpus till now is 21 lakh and investing 30k per month. 2. SIP - 14K per month since last two yrs and have accumulated 3.6 L. 3. Bal savings account 2 L. Liabilities - 1. Home Loan - 23L balance with 8.7% ROI and 240 months. Apart from this I am able to save 10k more every month. Annual increment amount to 10-20k. Can you please advise what all measures I can take to Build a Corpus of 5 Cr plus atleast by next 15 yrs. Also should I finish my Home Loan first or should I explore more options for investment. I would request if you can guide how someone like me should plan the finances in a better manner.
Ans: Financial Planning for a Government Employee: Building a ?5 Crore Corpus in 15 Years
Congratulations on your prudent financial habits and your ambition to build a substantial corpus for the future. Let's craft a plan to help you achieve your goal while optimizing your finances.

Assessing Your Current Financial Position
Your current savings, investments, and liabilities provide a solid foundation. With a monthly salary of ?1.5 lakh, disciplined savings habits, and existing investments, you're well-positioned to reach your financial goals.

Maximizing Savings and Investments
Government Savings Scheme: Continue investing ?30,000 monthly in the Government Savings Scheme, offering a reliable 7.1% return. This provides stability to your portfolio.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Maintain your SIP of ?14,000 per month. Consider increasing this amount gradually with each salary increment to accelerate wealth accumulation.

Additional Savings: Utilize the extra ?10,000 saved monthly to bolster your investment portfolio. Consider diversifying into a mix of equity, debt, and other asset classes for long-term growth potential.

Addressing Liabilities
Home Loan: With a remaining balance of ?23 lakh at 8.7% interest, continue servicing the loan while exploring opportunities to refinance at lower rates. However, prioritize investments that offer higher returns than the loan interest.
Planning for Incremental Income
Annual Increment: Utilize the annual increment of ?10,000-20,000 to boost your investments. Consider allocating a portion towards debt repayment and the rest towards investment to accelerate wealth creation.
Optimizing Investment Strategy
Asset Allocation: Maintain a balanced asset allocation aligned with your risk tolerance and investment horizon. Consider gradually shifting towards more aggressive investments like equity for higher returns over the long term.

Diversification: Diversify your investment portfolio across various asset classes to mitigate risk and enhance returns. Explore options like mutual funds, PPF, NPS, and direct equity investments based on your risk appetite and financial goals.

Prioritizing Financial Goals
Home Loan vs. Investment: While it's essential to reduce debt, consider the opportunity cost of repaying the home loan early. Evaluate if your investments can generate higher returns than the loan interest rate. If yes, prioritize investing while continuing to service the loan.
Regular Financial Review
Periodic Review: Conduct a comprehensive financial review at least annually to track progress towards your goals, reassess your risk tolerance, and make necessary adjustments to your investment strategy.
Conclusion
By diligently following this financial plan, you can work towards building a corpus of ?5 crores or more within the next 15 years while balancing debt repayment and wealth creation. Remember, financial planning is dynamic, and it's essential to adapt your strategy based on changing circumstances and market conditions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Iam 40 yrs, My Net salary per month is 2,10000 , and Home loan Emi's total is 87k, My monthly savings towards SIP is 7.5k. Could you please advice me on creating corpus for retirement and child education planning for 2 kids 11 yrs son and 3 yrs daughter.
Ans: Understanding Your Financial Situation
You have a monthly net salary of Rs. 2,10,000, with home loan EMIs totaling Rs. 87,000. Your current SIP investment is Rs. 7,500 monthly. Your goal is to create a corpus for retirement and child education planning. You have two children: an 11-year-old son and a 3-year-old daughter. Let's discuss strategies to achieve your goals.

Evaluating Current Savings and Expenses
You are already saving Rs. 7,500 per month through SIPs, which is a positive step towards building your financial future. Considering your home loan EMIs, your net disposable income after loan repayment is Rs. 1,23,000. It is essential to manage this amount efficiently to meet your retirement and children's education goals.

Retirement Planning
Retirement planning requires a systematic and disciplined approach. You need to estimate the corpus required to maintain your lifestyle post-retirement. Assume retirement age as 60 and plan for at least 20-25 years post-retirement. Factor in inflation, healthcare costs, and lifestyle changes. Based on these considerations, let's create a step-by-step plan.

Assess Your Retirement Needs: Determine the monthly expenses you will need post-retirement. Consider inflation and increasing healthcare costs.

Current Savings Evaluation: Assess your current savings and investments. Include provident fund, gratuity, and any other retirement benefits you might receive.

Investment Strategy: Increase your SIP contributions gradually. Diversify your investments across equity, debt, and hybrid funds. Equity funds provide higher returns, while debt funds offer stability.

Regular Monitoring: Periodically review and rebalance your portfolio. Adjust investments based on market conditions and life changes.

Child Education Planning
Planning for your children's education is crucial. The costs of education are rising, and starting early will help you build a sufficient corpus. Here's how you can approach it:

Estimate Education Costs: Calculate the future cost of education for both children. Consider higher education costs and inflation rates.

Separate Education Fund: Create a dedicated education fund for each child. Start SIPs in mutual funds that align with the education timeline.

Investment Choices: For long-term goals, equity mutual funds are ideal. For medium-term goals, consider a mix of equity and debt funds.

Insurance Coverage: Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance coverage. This secures your children's future in case of any unforeseen events.

Budgeting and Saving More
Increasing your monthly savings will significantly impact your retirement and education corpus. Here are some tips to enhance your savings:

Expense Management: Track and manage your monthly expenses. Identify non-essential expenditures and reduce them.

Increase SIP Contributions: Gradually increase your SIP investments as your income grows. Even small increments can make a big difference over time.

Bonus and Windfalls: Use bonuses, increments, or any windfall gains to invest in your SIPs or other long-term investment options.

Role of Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide professional guidance tailored to your specific needs. They can help you create a comprehensive financial plan, select suitable investment options, and monitor your progress. Regular consultations with a CFP ensure you stay on track to meet your financial goals.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds offer several advantages over index funds. Fund managers actively make investment decisions to outperform the market. These funds can adapt to market changes and capitalize on opportunities, potentially providing higher returns. By investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with CFP credentials, you gain access to professional advice and expertise, ensuring better fund selection and management.

Avoiding Real Estate and Annuities
Real estate can be an illiquid and high-maintenance investment. Instead, focus on financial assets like mutual funds, which offer liquidity, diversification, and professional management. Annuities are generally inflexible and come with high fees. Mutual funds provide more flexibility and potential for growth.

Conclusion
You are on the right path with your current SIP investments. By increasing your savings, managing expenses, and choosing the right investment options, you can achieve your retirement and child education goals. Regularly consult with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure your financial plan stays on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 11, 2024

Money
Hi my age is 34 earning 1.30l per month, my saving are monthly 26k in different sips, 12.5k monthy ppf, 2 policies total amount of 15-16lakhs paying 30 and 70k premium yearly ( mature in 2035), investing montly in gold - 500 and 50,000 yearly in nps. Rest 5 to 10k in saving account. I have 2 questions 1.Should I need to invest more if i want total corpus of 3 crore? 2. I have 2 daughters so i should have enough amount for their education and their marriage
Ans: Planning for Your Financial Future: Building a Rs 3 Crore Corpus and Securing Your Daughters' Futures

Congratulations on your disciplined saving and investment habits. Your current financial strategy is commendable, and it’s clear you’re committed to securing a prosperous future for yourself and your daughters. Let’s address your questions and develop a comprehensive plan.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
To start, let’s review your existing financial commitments and investments:

Monthly Income: Rs 1,30,000
Monthly Savings and Investments:
SIPs: Rs 26,000
PPF: Rs 12,500
Policies: Rs 30,000 and Rs 70,000 annually (equivalent to Rs 8,333 per month)
Gold: Rs 500
NPS: Rs 50,000 annually (equivalent to Rs 4,167 per month)
Savings Account: Rs 5,000 to Rs 10,000
Your total monthly investments sum up to approximately Rs 51,500, excluding the savings account contributions.

Setting Clear Financial Goals
You have two primary goals:

Accumulating a Rs 3 Crore Corpus
Ensuring Funds for Your Daughters’ Education and Marriage
Goal 1: Accumulating a Rs 3 Crore Corpus
Calculating the Future Value of Your Investments
To determine if you need to invest more, we must project the future value of your current investments. Let’s assume an average annual return of 12% for your SIPs, considering they are likely invested in equity mutual funds.

Formula for Future Value of SIP:

FV = P * [(1 + r/n)^(nt) - 1] / (r/n)

Where:

P = Monthly investment (Rs 26,000)
r = Annual interest rate (0.12)
n = Number of times interest is compounded per year (12)
t = Number of years (26, assuming retirement at age 60)
Future Value Calculation for SIPs
Using the formula above:

FV = 26,000 * [(1 + 0.12/12)^(12 * 26) - 1] / (0.12/12)

FV = 26,000 * [(1 + 0.01)^(312) - 1] / 0.01

FV = 26,000 * [(1.01)^312 - 1] / 0.01

FV = 26,000 * [36.786 - 1] / 0.01

FV = 26,000 * 35.786 / 0.01

FV = 26,000 * 3,578.6

FV = 9,30,43,600

So, the future value of your SIPs after 26 years would be approximately Rs 9.3 crores.

Future Value Calculation for PPF
The PPF has a fixed rate of return. Assuming an average annual return of 7.1%:

Formula for Future Value of PPF:

FV = P * [(1 + r/n)^(nt) - 1] / (r/n)

Where:

P = Monthly investment (Rs 12,500)
r = Annual interest rate (0.071)
n = Number of times interest is compounded per year (1)
t = Number of years (15, due to PPF maturity period)
FV = 12,500 * [(1 + 0.071/1)^(1 * 15) - 1] / (0.071/1)

FV = 12,500 * [(1 + 0.071)^15 - 1] / 0.071

FV = 12,500 * [(1.071)^15 - 1] / 0.071

FV = 12,500 * [2.847 - 1] / 0.071

FV = 12,500 * 1.847 / 0.071

FV = 12,500 * 26.014

FV = 3,25,175

So, the future value of your PPF after 15 years would be approximately Rs 3.25 lakhs.

Future Value Calculation for NPS
NPS investments typically yield around 10% annually. Assuming the annual contribution is Rs 50,000:

Formula for Future Value of NPS:

FV = P * [(1 + r/n)^(nt) - 1] / (r/n)

Where:

P = Monthly investment (Rs 4,167)
r = Annual interest rate (0.10)
n = Number of times interest is compounded per year (1)
t = Number of years (26)
FV = 4,167 * [(1 + 0.10/1)^(1 * 26) - 1] / (0.10/1)

FV = 4,167 * [(1 + 0.10)^26 - 1] / 0.10

FV = 4,167 * [(1.10)^26 - 1] / 0.10

FV = 4,167 * [10.835 - 1] / 0.10

FV = 4,167 * 9.835 / 0.10

FV = 4,167 * 98.35

FV = 4,09,445

So, the future value of your NPS after 26 years would be approximately Rs 4.09 lakhs.

Additional Investments
Your existing policies (LIC, ULIP) may not offer the best returns. Consider surrendering them and redirecting the premiums into mutual funds for potentially higher growth.

Goal 2: Funding Your Daughters’ Education and Marriage
Estimating Future Expenses
Education Costs: Assume a need of Rs 20 lakhs for each daughter’s higher education.
Marriage Costs: Assume Rs 20 lakhs for each daughter’s marriage.
Let’s estimate the inflation-adjusted cost of education and marriage in the future.

Formula for Future Value of Education Costs:

FV = PV * (1 + r)^t

Where:

PV = Present value (Rs 20 lakhs)
r = Inflation rate (0.06)
t = Number of years until the expense (assume 10 years for education)
Future Value Calculation for Education
FV = 20,00,000 * (1 + 0.06)^10

FV = 20,00,000 * (1.06)^10

FV = 20,00,000 * 1.791

FV = 35,82,000

So, the future value of education costs after 10 years would be approximately Rs 35.82 lakhs.

Future Value Calculation for Marriage
Assuming marriages in 20 years:

FV = 20,00,000 * (1 + 0.06)^20

FV = 20,00,000 * (1.06)^20

FV = 20,00,000 * 3.207

FV = 64,14,000

So, the future value of marriage costs after 20 years would be approximately Rs 64.14 lakhs.

Investment Strategy for Daughters’ Future
Child Education Funds: Invest in dedicated mutual funds for child education. These funds typically offer higher returns and are tailored for education expenses.
Systematic Transfer Plan (STP): Use STP to gradually move funds from equity to debt as the expense time nears to minimize risk.
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): Consider SSY for long-term savings for your daughters, offering tax benefits and secure returns.
Monitoring and Adjusting Investments
Regularly review your investments to ensure they align with your goals. Rebalance your portfolio annually to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Periodic Reviews
Annual Performance Review: Evaluate the performance of your investments and adjust as necessary.
Adjusting Asset Allocation: Shift funds between equity and debt based on market conditions and your risk tolerance.
Risk Management
Diversification is crucial to minimize risks. Spread investments across various asset classes to safeguard against market volatility.

Market Risk
Equity Investments: High returns but subject to market fluctuations. Diversify across sectors and companies.
Debt Investments: Lower returns but more stable. Include high-quality debt instruments for stability.
Tax Considerations
Maximize tax efficiency by leveraging tax-saving instruments under Section 80C. Ensure investments align with your overall financial strategy.

Tax-Efficient Investments
Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS): Provides tax benefits and good returns. Suitable for long-term goals.
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Safe and tax-efficient. Ideal for conservative investors.
Professional Guidance
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice. A CFP can help tailor your investment strategy to meet your specific goals.

Advantages of CFP
Expertise in Financial Planning: Offers professional insights and strategies.
Personalized Advice: Tailored to your financial situation and goals.
Final Insights
Achieving a Rs 3 crore corpus and securing funds for your daughters’ education and marriage requires disciplined investing and strategic planning. Your current investments are a strong foundation, but consider increasing contributions for higher returns.

Diversify your investments, monitor performance regularly, and adjust your portfolio as needed. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide valuable guidance and help you stay on track.

Stay committed to your goals, and with careful planning, you can achieve financial security and ensure a bright future for your daughters.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Currently I am 54 years old & following is the corpus build till now, left job / voluntarily retired 3 months ago, need financial advise for future!!!! 1. Total 3 nos Flat owned, current market value a. Rs 2.60 Cr (out of which Rs 1.25 Cr Home loan balance OD a/c) b. Rs 1.4Cr & c. Rs 35 Lacs (currently residing) 2. Rs 90 Lacs Cash parked in OD Home loan a/c 3. Rs 90 lacs accumulated in EPF a/c, getting interest & not planning to withdraw till 58 years of retire age. 4. Receiving monthly Rent from Flat a. & b. = Rs. 1 lac + Rs 50k = Rs. 1.5 Lac/month 5. Rs 2 Lakhs in Equity 6. Term insurance - 1.25 Cr+ 1Cr = 2.25 Cr Liability:- a. Daughters education (1 year in India & 2 years Masters in Australia + Marriage b. Rs 90 lacs home loan balance as. Stated above... c. monthly Expenses - 75k Kindly suggest investment ideas to increase corpus for healthy retirement .. Thanks & Regards
Ans: Real Estate Assets
You own three flats with a total market value of Rs 4.35 crores. The first flat has a home loan balance of Rs 1.25 crores. The second and third flats have a combined market value of Rs 1.75 crores.

This is a significant asset base. The rental income from these properties is Rs 1.5 lakhs per month. This steady income is a positive aspect of your portfolio.

Cash Reserves
You have Rs 90 lakhs parked in your OD home loan account. This reduces the interest burden on your home loan. It's wise to keep this amount liquid for emergencies and short-term needs.

EPF Accumulation
Your EPF account has Rs 90 lakhs. It’s generating interest, and you plan to keep it until 58 years. This is a good strategy for tax-efficient growth.

Equity Investments
You have Rs 2 lakhs in equity investments. This is a small part of your portfolio. Equities can provide high returns but come with high risks. Diversification is essential to balance risk and return.

Insurance Coverage
You have term insurance coverage of Rs 2.25 crores. This ensures financial security for your family in case of an unfortunate event.

Liabilities and Obligations
Your primary liabilities include:

Rs 1.25 crore home loan balance.
Funding your daughter's education and marriage.
Monthly expenses of Rs 75,000.
Investment Strategy for Healthy Retirement
Debt Management
Continue using the Rs 90 lakhs in your OD account to reduce the home loan interest. Pay off the home loan faster to reduce financial stress. This will improve your cash flow.

Rental Income
Ensure your rental properties are well-maintained. This will help retain tenants and maintain rental income. Consider rental agreements for security.

Equity Investments
Increase your exposure to equity investments. Equity mutual funds can provide better returns than direct stocks. Consider large-cap and diversified equity funds. This will balance risk and returns.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Start an SWP from your mutual funds after you retire fully. This will provide a steady monthly income. It’s tax-efficient and offers better returns than fixed deposits.

Emergency Fund
Keep at least 6 months of expenses as an emergency fund. This should be in a liquid and accessible form. Consider liquid mutual funds or high-interest savings accounts.

Health Insurance
Ensure you have adequate health insurance. Medical costs can be high, especially in retirement. A family floater health insurance plan is recommended.

Daughter’s Education and Marriage
Start a separate fund for your daughter’s education and marriage. Consider child-specific mutual funds. This will ensure you have enough when needed without affecting your retirement corpus.

Retirement Corpus Growth
Maximize your retirement corpus growth by investing in a mix of debt and equity funds. A balanced fund can provide a good mix of stability and growth. Regular funds with a Certified Financial Planner’s guidance can help optimize returns.

Tax Planning
Utilize tax-saving instruments to reduce your tax liability. ELSS funds can offer tax benefits under Section 80C. Plan withdrawals from your EPF and other investments to minimize tax.

Regular Reviews
Regularly review your investment portfolio. Adjust your investments based on market conditions and your financial goals. A Certified Financial Planner can help you stay on track.

Final Insights
Your current financial situation is strong. Focus on reducing liabilities, optimizing returns, and planning for your daughter’s future. Maintain adequate insurance and an emergency fund.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice. They can help tailor a strategy to your needs and ensure a healthy, stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |298 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 16, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hii sir ! This is ritika and I love a boy and we are in relationship since 7 years but there are some behavior of him he always have doubt on me that I am dating another boy he always says that start you screenshare in WhatsApp I even do because I don't want to lose him and he saw all of things of my phone yesterday he again asking for that and I do and there was a tab of instagram which was belongs to my roommate it was her I'd open in my chrome browser where she only wants to delete the I'd which she did from my phone these instagram thing happened approx one year ago but when he saw this I told him that was not mine but he continuously said I am cheater I cheated with him again he was like I know you have two mobile phones and you cheated with me. I love him soo much but he cannot try to accept that . Even I don't talk to my male classmate because he didn't want ki main kisi boy se baat karu Is it fair , am I cheater ? I love him unconditionally I support him in all his career or decision but again he was like I cheated with him we are in long distance relationship but I can't cheat him . Literally I am feeling depressed ????
Ans: Dear Ritika,

Please understand that you did nothing wrong. Why would you even question yourself? You know you never cheated. It's his issue that he cannot trust. Yes, in a relationship we all try to comfort our partners but that too should be to a certain extent. And, in that process, if your mental health is being compromised, I don't see how it's a healthy relationship.

I don't want to tell you what to do, but I would reassure you that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. You don't need to prove yourself anymore. And I can also assure you that no matter what you do, he will still manage to find some flaws and doubt you. It's a typical behavior we see in some partners. You deserve peace, love, and above all, to be trusted.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x