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31-Year-Old Woman With Credit Card Debt and Car Loan Seeks Advice After Job Loss

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 20, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 27, 2024Hindi
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Money

Hi, I am a 31 year married woman. I have outstanding of around 1 lac from 2 credit cards. Also, I have a car EMI every month to pay. The problem is, I have recently lost my job. Actively applying for the jobs but no luck. I have EMI and CC dues to clear. Please advise how to plan.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about your job situation. Managing finances during such a time can be challenging, but with a strategic approach, you can navigate through it.

Immediate Steps to Manage Debt and Expenses
1. Prioritize Payments
Focus on Credit Card Debt: Credit card debt often carries high interest rates. Prioritize paying off at least the minimum due to avoid penalties. If possible, pay more than the minimum to reduce the outstanding balance faster.
Car EMI: Contact your lender to discuss the situation. Some banks may offer temporary relief, like a moratorium or reduced EMI, until you secure a new job.
2. Emergency Fund Utilization
Use Savings Wisely: If you have any savings, use them to cover essential expenses like EMIs, rent, and groceries. Prioritize your payments based on their importance and the interest rates associated with them.
3. Cut Down on Non-Essential Expenses
Trim the Budget: Review your monthly expenses and cut down on non-essential items. Every saved rupee can help you manage your debts and maintain cash flow during this period.
Exploring Income Sources
1. Seek Temporary or Freelance Work
Freelancing or Part-Time Jobs: While searching for a permanent job, consider temporary or freelance work in your field. Even short-term projects can help generate income to cover immediate expenses.
Leverage Skills: If you have any marketable skills or hobbies, consider monetizing them. For example, tutoring, writing, or any side gig can provide some income.
2. Utilize Family Support
Communicate with Spouse: Discuss the financial situation openly with your spouse. They might be able to contribute more towards household expenses temporarily.
Family Assistance: If needed, consider seeking temporary financial help from close family members to manage your EMIs and dues.
Managing Credit Card Debt
1. Consolidate Debt
Balance Transfer: If one of your credit cards offers a lower interest rate or a balance transfer option, consider transferring your high-interest debt to that card. This could reduce the interest burden.
Debt Consolidation Loan: If possible, consider taking a personal loan with a lower interest rate to consolidate your credit card debt. This would allow you to have one EMI with potentially lower interest.
2. Negotiate with Credit Card Issuers
Discuss Payment Plans: Reach out to your credit card issuers and explain your situation. Some banks may offer hardship programs, reduced interest rates, or an EMI option on the outstanding balance.
Protecting Your Financial Future
1. Avoid Accumulating More Debt
Minimize Credit Usage: Until you stabilize your financial situation, avoid using credit cards for purchases. Focus on living within your means and sticking to a cash-based budget.
Pause Non-Essential Spending: Delay any non-essential purchases, such as luxury items or vacations, until your financial situation improves.
2. Keep Job Searching
Persistent Job Applications: Continue applying for jobs and networking within your industry. Use online job portals, LinkedIn, and industry contacts to increase your chances of finding a new position.
Skill Enhancement: Consider using this time to upskill or take online courses to increase your employability. This could open up new job opportunities.
Final Insights
In this challenging period, focus on reducing your debt, managing your expenses, and seeking alternative income sources. By staying disciplined with your finances and persistent in your job search, you'll be able to navigate through this difficult time and emerge stronger.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
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I am 40 years old, working in IT industry, I lost my job since past year, I am still not able to get new job... I am faling to pay my monthly bills and EMI's Please suggest me how I can secure new job???
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Here are some steps you can take to improve your chances of securing a new job: Explore temporary or freelance opportunities to generate income while you continue searching for a permanent job. Freelancing platforms and websites offer opportunities for short-term projects in IT and related fields. Identify any skills gaps or areas for improvement that may be hindering your job search. Take online courses, workshops, or certification programs to update your skills and stay current with industry trends and technologies. Tailor your resume to highlight your most relevant skills, experiences, and achievements. Update your LinkedIn profile with a professional photo, a comprehensive work history, and relevant keywords to make it easier for recruiters to find you. Don't limit yourself to one job search method. Explore multiple channels, such as online job boards, company websites, recruitment agencies, networking events, and social media platforms. Consider reaching out to former colleagues, classmates, and professional contacts for job leads and referrals. Attend industry events, meetups, webinars, and networking groups to connect with professionals in your field. Join online communities, forums, and LinkedIn groups related to your industry or job function to expand your network and learn about job opportunities. Job searching can be challenging, especially during difficult times. Stay positive, maintain a routine, and focus on activities that boost your confidence and well-being. Set realistic goals and deadlines for your job search, and celebrate small victories along the way to stay motivated.

Remember that job searching takes time and persistence, so don't get discouraged if you don't see immediate results. Keep refining your approach, leveraging your network, and staying proactive in your job search efforts. With perseverance and determination, you'll increase your chances of securing a new job that meets your needs and goals.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 11, 2024

Money
Hello Sir, My in hand salary is 98000 but loan EMIs and Credit Card bills are 1.75 lacs. I don't have have savings due to multiple medical issues in my family from the 3-4 years. Im heart patient as well. Can you please guide me the way to com out from my debts. Thanks
Ans: I appreciate your courage in sharing your situation. Managing financial stress, especially with health issues, is challenging. Let's create a practical plan to help you get out of debt and build a secure financial future.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
Monthly Income: Rs 98,000
Monthly Debt Obligations: Rs 1.75 lakhs
Savings: None due to medical expenses
Immediate Steps to Manage Debt
Assessing Your Debt
Total Debt: Calculate the total amount owed, including all loan EMIs and credit card bills.
Interest Rates: Identify the interest rates for each debt. Prioritize high-interest debts first.
Budgeting and Expense Management
Create a Budget: List all your essential monthly expenses (food, utilities, rent, etc.). Identify non-essential expenses that can be reduced or eliminated.
Track Spending: Use a notebook or an app to track every rupee spent. This will help you identify areas to cut costs.
Prioritizing Debt Repayment
High-Interest Debt First
Credit Cards: These often have the highest interest rates. Focus on paying more than the minimum due to reduce principal faster.
Personal Loans: Once high-interest debts are managed, focus on personal loans.
Debt Consolidation Options
Debt Consolidation Loan: Consider taking a personal loan to consolidate high-interest debts into a single loan with a lower interest rate.
Balance Transfer: Transfer your credit card balance to a card with a lower interest rate, if possible.
Negotiating with Creditors
Contact Creditors: Explain your financial situation to your creditors. Request lower interest rates or a temporary reduction in monthly payments.
Debt Settlement: If negotiation fails, consider debt settlement. This involves negotiating a lump sum payment that is less than the total amount owed.
Increasing Your Income
Exploring Additional Income Sources
Freelancing: Use skills like writing, graphic design, or tutoring to earn extra income. Platforms like Upwork and Freelancer can help.
Part-Time Jobs: Look for part-time work that fits your schedule. Delivery services, tutoring, or online customer support jobs can provide additional income.
Leveraging Existing Skills
Skill Enhancement: Invest time in enhancing skills that can increase your earning potential. Online courses on platforms like Coursera or Udemy can be helpful.
Networking: Connect with professionals in your field who can offer freelance opportunities or part-time work.
Managing Health and Finances
Health Insurance
Review Existing Policies: Ensure that you and your family have adequate health insurance coverage to reduce out-of-pocket medical expenses.
Government Schemes: Explore government health schemes that may offer assistance with medical costs.
Long-Term Financial Planning
Building an Emergency Fund
Start Small: Once debts are under control, start building an emergency fund. Aim for at least 3-6 months’ worth of living expenses.
Consistency: Contribute a small, consistent amount each month to this fund.
Investing for the Future
Mutual Funds: After stabilizing your finances, consider investing in mutual funds for long-term growth. Start with small SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans).
Professional Guidance: Consult a Certified Financial Planner to choose the right funds and investment strategy based on your risk profile and goals.
Addressing Emotional and Psychological Stress
Seeking Support
Family and Friends: Share your concerns with trusted family members or friends who can offer support and advice.
Counseling: Consider seeking help from a financial counselor or a therapist to manage stress and develop coping strategies.
Positive Mindset
Focus on Progress: Celebrate small milestones in your debt repayment journey. Each step brings you closer to financial freedom.
Stay Motivated: Remind yourself of your long-term goals, like owning a home or securing a stable financial future.
Exploring Government and NGO Assistance
Government Schemes
Debt Relief Programs: Research if there are any government debt relief programs available that you may qualify for.
Subsidies and Grants: Explore government subsidies or grants that can assist with medical expenses or other financial needs.
Non-Governmental Organizations
Financial Assistance: Some NGOs offer financial assistance or low-interest loans to individuals in financial distress.
Medical Aid: Look for NGOs that provide support for medical expenses.
Planning for a Sustainable Future
Education and Skill Development
Lifelong Learning: Continue learning and upgrading your skills to increase job opportunities and earning potential.
Certifications: Obtain certifications in your field to enhance your qualifications and career prospects.
Financial Literacy
Financial Education: Educate yourself on personal finance, budgeting, and investing. Books, online courses, and workshops can be valuable resources.
Smart Financial Decisions: Apply your knowledge to make informed financial decisions, avoiding high-interest debt and building savings.
Practical Tips for Financial Discipline
Avoiding High-Interest Debt
Credit Card Usage: Use credit cards sparingly and only if you can pay the full balance each month to avoid interest charges.
Loans: Avoid taking new loans unless absolutely necessary. Focus on repaying existing debts first.
Regular Financial Review
Monthly Check-In: Review your financial situation monthly. Adjust your budget and spending as needed to stay on track.
Annual Goals: Set annual financial goals and review your progress at the end of each year.
Final Insights
Getting out of debt while managing health issues is challenging, but it is possible with a structured plan and disciplined approach. Prioritize paying off high-interest debt first, consider debt consolidation, and explore additional income sources. Manage expenses carefully and seek professional advice to develop a sustainable financial strategy.

Invest in your skills and financial education to improve your long-term earning potential. Seek support from family, friends, and professional counselors to manage emotional stress. Utilize government schemes and NGO assistance to alleviate financial burdens.

Remember, every step you take towards financial stability is progress. Stay focused on your goals, maintain a positive mindset, and celebrate small achievements along the way. With determination and careful planning, you can overcome your financial challenges and build a secure and prosperous future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir my monthly salary is 20625 and I took a personal loan of 300000 lacs multiple loan app last 2 year and I have credit card also but with my daily expenses I couldn't pay the total emis and bills so I took some credit from cred application it's almost 1 lacs and now I'm unable to pay any of them as my salary is very low to pay so many emis I can't stop thinking about all this I'm facing anxiety and depression due to debts. I want to come out of this debt and get clean from all this problem. I want to save money and live a normal life. I couldn't share it with anyone also. My father us retired and he couldn't help me.
Ans: I truly understand how stressful financial difficulties can be. It's commendable that you're seeking help to resolve your debts and plan for a better future. Let's develop a comprehensive strategy to tackle your debts and set you on the path to financial stability.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
Firstly, it’s crucial to understand the full picture of your financial situation. Here’s what we know:

Monthly salary: Rs. 20,625
Personal loan: Rs. 3,00,000
Additional credit: Rs. 1,00,000
Total debt: Rs. 4,00,000
Monthly expenses are high, making it difficult to pay EMIs and bills.
Emotional and Mental Well-being
Debt and financial stress can lead to anxiety and depression. It's important to take care of your mental health. Try to talk to a trusted friend or family member about your situation. Sometimes, sharing your burden can make it feel lighter. Professional counseling can also be very helpful.

Immediate Steps to Manage Debt
1. Create a Detailed Budget
List all your monthly income and expenses. This will help you see where your money is going and identify areas where you can cut costs.

2. Prioritize Essential Expenses
Ensure that your basic needs such as food, rent, and utilities are covered first. Allocate funds for these before paying off debts.

3. Negotiate with Creditors
Contact your lenders and explain your situation. They might be willing to restructure your loans or provide a more manageable repayment plan. Some may even offer a temporary reduction in payments.

4. Avoid Taking More Loans
Stop taking new loans or using credit cards. This will only add to your debt and make the situation worse.

Debt Repayment Strategies
1. Debt Consolidation
Consider consolidating all your debts into one loan with a lower interest rate. This can simplify your payments and reduce the overall interest you pay.

2. Debt Snowball Method
Focus on paying off the smallest debts first while making minimum payments on larger ones. Once a small debt is cleared, move on to the next smallest. This method gives you a psychological boost as you see debts being eliminated.

3. Debt Avalanche Method
Prioritize paying off the debt with the highest interest rate first while making minimum payments on others. This method reduces the total interest you pay over time.

Boosting Your Income
1. Part-time Jobs or Freelancing
Look for opportunities to earn extra income through part-time jobs or freelancing. Even a small additional income can help reduce your debt faster.

2. Sell Unused Items
Consider selling items you no longer need. This can provide a quick influx of cash to put towards your debts.

Long-term Financial Planning
Once your immediate debts are under control, focus on building a stable financial future.

1. Emergency Fund
Start building an emergency fund to cover 3-6 months of expenses. This will provide a cushion for unexpected financial challenges.

2. Systematic Savings Plan
Begin saving a small portion of your income regularly. Even a small amount can grow over time through disciplined saving.

3. Avoid Unnecessary Spending
Be mindful of your spending habits. Prioritize needs over wants and avoid impulse purchases.

Investment Planning
After stabilizing your financial situation, consider investing to grow your wealth. Here's a simple guide on different investment options.

1. Mutual Funds
Mutual funds pool money from many investors to purchase securities. They offer diversification and professional management.

Equity Funds: Invest in stocks, providing high returns but with higher risk.
Debt Funds: Invest in bonds, offering stable returns with lower risk.
Hybrid Funds: Combine equity and debt, balancing risk and return.
2. Power of Compounding
Investing early allows you to benefit from compounding, where your earnings generate more earnings. This can significantly grow your wealth over time.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds aim to replicate the performance of a market index. Here are some drawbacks:

Lack of Flexibility: Cannot adapt to market changes.
Market Risk: Entirely exposed to market fluctuations.
Lower Returns: Often underperform actively managed funds.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds are managed by professionals who make investment decisions to outperform the market.

Flexibility: Managers can adapt to market changes.
Potential for Higher Returns: Aim to beat the market.
Risk Management: Professional managers can mitigate risks.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds have no intermediary, potentially saving costs but have drawbacks:

Lack of Guidance: No professional advice.
Time-Consuming: Requires active management and monitoring.
Higher Risk: Without expert guidance, risk of poor decisions increases.
Benefits of Regular Funds Through CFP
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers numerous advantages:

Professional Advice: Expert guidance on fund selection and portfolio management.
Regular Monitoring: Continuous review and adjustments to optimize returns.
Tailored Portfolio: Customized investment strategy to meet your specific goals.
Tax Planning
Effective tax planning can enhance your savings and investment returns.

1. Utilize Tax Deductions
Maximize deductions under sections like 80C through investments in PPF, ELSS, and other eligible instruments.

2. Health Insurance
Premiums paid for health insurance can be deducted under Section 80D, reducing your taxable income.

Estate Planning
Ensure your assets are distributed according to your wishes through proper estate planning.

1. Draft a Will
Clearly state how your assets should be distributed. This prevents legal complications and ensures your wishes are honored.

2. Appoint Nominees
Appoint nominees for your bank accounts, insurance policies, and investments. This simplifies the transfer of assets in case of your absence.

Final Insights
Financial challenges can be overwhelming, but with a structured approach, you can overcome them. Prioritize your debts, create a budget, and look for ways to boost your income. Once your debts are under control, focus on building a stable financial future through disciplined saving and investing.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice and guidance. Stay disciplined, and remember, small steps can lead to significant progress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for Arranged Marriage Prospects. My Family has found a Prospect (27F) who seems like a Good Match, she's Well Educated, Earning Well & from the same Community. I haven't yet met her in Person, but connected with her on Social Media Platforms & interacting regularly. Recently, I scrolled through her Instagram Profile (It's a Public Profile). She seems to be a very Sociable Person, she has shared many Photos of herself, Partying/Travelling along with her Friends. My Problem is that she seems to like Wearing Clothes which are Revealing. She has shared many Photos/Videos, in which she's skimpily dressed (including some Bikini Photos at Beach/Swimming Pool). She also has a Pierced Navel Ring & Tattoos on some Private Parts like Chest, Hips, Thighs & Lower Back, which she flaunts proudly on Social Media. Though, I am not Judging her Character, based on her Choice of Clothing, but seeing all these made me a little Uncomfortable, as I am a very Modest & Simple Person myself. I have not discussed this issue with my Parents, as they have a very good opinion about her (which I don't want to Ruin). But I've discussed with some of my closest Friends (of both Genders) & some of them have Chided me for being so Judgemental. They suggested me to meet her atleast once in person, to understand what's her Character/Personality like. Shall I give it a try or Reject her Politely at this stage itself, without wasting any more Time (either her or mine)? Or am I being too Superficial to Judge a Woman, just based on her Social Media Profile, without even meeting her once, personally (This is what some of my closest Female Friends opined)? Please suggest me how to proceed with this Prospect in Arranged Marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it might come off as you being judgmental of her choice of dressing, but you have a right to form an opinion in your mind, especially since in your case, you might be marrying the person. As long as you are not making up your mind about her based on her dressing, forcing her to dress the way she wants, or thrusting your opinion on her, it's alright. It's human nature to be a bit jerked by the choices others make that we won't make ourselves. Having said that, I believe meeting her once in person can be good for you; you might have a new perspective- both about her and on life. But no one can force you to do either. My suggestion is that do what you think is right- if you are sure you will reject this alliance based on her choice of clothes, even if she is the nicest person on the face of the earth, meeting up might be a waste of time. But if you think you are open to changing your mind, go for it.

I would also like for you to remember one important point if things work out between the two of you- do not try to push your opinions on dressing and change the way she is after getting married. That would not be fair. In case, you start hoping that she will change and fit YOUR mold of the perfect woman, I would strongly suggest keeping that thought in check.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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