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**Earning 1 Lakh Salary: How Best to Split and Invest Safely?**

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |858 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Milind Vadjikar is an independent MF distributor registered with Association of Mutual Funds in India (AMFI) and a retirement financial planning advisor registered with Pension Fund Regulatory and Development Authority (PFRDA).
He has a mechanical engineering degree from Government Engineering College, Sambhajinagar, and an MBA in international business from the Symbiosis Institute of Business Management, Pune.
With over 16 years of experience in stock investments, and over six year experience in investment guidance and support, he believes that balanced asset allocation and goal-focused disciplined investing is the key to achieving investor goals.... more
ABCD Question by ABCD on Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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I'm earning salary 1 Lac. Best way to split and invest this safe and secure?

Ans: Hello;

You may invest the investible surplus of your salary into PPF, NPS (100% G option), NSCs, KVPs as safe and secure investments.

Although they don't have a default risk being GOI schemes, they have interest rate risk, low return risk.

Seek advice from an investment advisor or a certified financial planner if you need help.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
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I am 52 years old and want to retire now. I have about 5 crore in FD/EPF/PPF and 1 crore in stock/mf (70:30) i wouoe need 2 lac per month . Please advise where should i put money tp get 2 lac per month income
Ans: Congratulations on reaching the milestone of retirement! With your financial prudence and diligent savings, you've laid a solid foundation for this new chapter of life. Now, the focus shifts towards generating a steady income stream to sustain your lifestyle comfortably.

Given your retirement corpus of 6 crores, you're in a favorable position to achieve your income goal of 2 lakhs per month. To generate this income, a Certified Financial Planner would likely recommend a balanced approach that combines both growth and stability.

Here's a suggested strategy:

Investment Allocation: With a conservative approach in mind, consider allocating a portion of your corpus towards stable income-generating instruments such as Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS), Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS), or immediate annuity plans. These options provide regular income with relatively low risk.
Systematic Withdrawals: Utilize a systematic withdrawal plan from your FDs, EPF, and PPF to ensure a steady flow of income. You can set up monthly withdrawals that align with your income requirements while keeping the remaining corpus invested for growth.
Dividend-Paying Stocks and Mutual Funds: Allocate a portion of your equity portfolio towards dividend-paying stocks and mutual funds. This can provide a supplementary income stream while also offering the potential for capital appreciation over the long term.
Diversification: Maintain a diversified portfolio across asset classes to mitigate risk and capture opportunities for growth. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to ensure alignment with your income needs and risk tolerance.
Professional Advice: Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner who can assess your specific financial situation, goals, and risk appetite to tailor a comprehensive retirement income strategy that suits your needs.
By adopting a balanced approach and leveraging a combination of stable income sources and growth-oriented investments, you can potentially generate a sustainable income of 2 lakhs per month in retirement while safeguarding your financial security for the years ahead.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 05, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi dev, i earn 1,44 000 per month. I am 33 years old, Around 18000 per month my money goes into LIC jeevan labh yojana. Remaining i give around 40k to my parents as a help monthly. If i cut 10000 as monthly expenditure, how should i invest around 70k per month to get maximum returns.How should be the split.Please suggests SIPs to invest in.
Ans: Earning Rs. 1,44,000 per month is commendable. Your monthly commitments include Rs. 18,000 for LIC Jeevan Labh Yojana, Rs. 40,000 to help your parents, and Rs. 10,000 for personal expenses. After these, you have Rs. 70,000 left for investments. It's great that you’re focusing on maximizing returns. Your commitment to family is admirable and reflects a responsible mindset. Let's discuss a suitable investment strategy for you.

Understanding the Investment Landscape
Investing Rs. 70,000 monthly is substantial. We need to allocate it across various instruments to balance risk and return. Mutual funds are excellent for this purpose due to their diverse options, liquidity, and potential for high returns. Mutual funds pool money from various investors to invest in diversified portfolios. This diversification reduces risk and allows professional management.

Categorizing Mutual Funds
Mutual funds can be categorized based on the underlying assets. Here are some categories to consider:

1. Equity Funds
Equity funds invest in stocks. They can be further classified into large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds based on the companies' market capitalization they invest in.

Large-Cap Funds: Invest in large, well-established companies. They are less volatile and offer steady growth.
Mid-Cap Funds: Invest in mid-sized companies with potential for high growth. They are riskier than large-cap funds but can provide higher returns.
Small-Cap Funds: Invest in smaller companies. They are the most volatile but offer the highest growth potential.
2. Debt Funds
Debt funds invest in fixed income instruments like bonds and treasury bills. They are less risky than equity funds and provide steady returns.

3. Hybrid Funds
Hybrid funds invest in a mix of equity and debt. They offer a balanced approach, providing growth potential and stability.

Splitting Your Investment
To achieve maximum returns while managing risk, a balanced allocation across different mutual fund categories is advisable. Here’s a suggested split for your Rs. 70,000 monthly investment:

Equity Funds (50% - Rs. 35,000)
Equity funds should form the bulk of your portfolio, given their high return potential. Within equity funds, diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Large-Cap Funds (20% - Rs. 14,000): These funds are relatively stable and provide moderate returns.
Mid-Cap Funds (15% - Rs. 10,500): These funds have a higher growth potential with moderate risk.
Small-Cap Funds (15% - Rs. 10,500): These funds are high-risk but can offer significant returns.
Debt Funds (30% - Rs. 21,000)
Debt funds provide stability and reduce overall portfolio risk. Allocate around 30% of your investment here.

Short-Term Debt Funds (15% - Rs. 10,500): These funds are less affected by interest rate changes.
Long-Term Debt Funds (15% - Rs. 10,500): These funds offer higher returns but come with interest rate risk.
Hybrid Funds (20% - Rs. 14,000)
Hybrid funds offer a balanced mix of equity and debt. They are suitable for medium-term goals and provide a cushion against market volatility.

Aggressive Hybrid Funds (10% - Rs. 7,000): These funds invest primarily in equity but have a significant debt component.
Conservative Hybrid Funds (10% - Rs. 7,000): These funds have a higher debt component, offering more stability.
Advantages of Mutual Funds
Professional Management
Mutual funds are managed by professional fund managers. They make informed decisions based on research and market analysis. This expertise can significantly enhance your returns.

Diversification
Investing in mutual funds offers diversification, spreading your investment across various assets. This reduces risk, as poor performance in one asset is balanced by better performance in another.

Liquidity
Mutual funds are highly liquid. You can buy and sell mutual fund units on any business day, providing flexibility to access your money when needed.

Compounding
Mutual funds benefit from the power of compounding. Reinvesting your returns allows your investment to grow exponentially over time.

Risk Assessment
While mutual funds offer high returns, they come with risks. Here are some key points to consider:

Market Risk
Equity funds are subject to market risk. The value of your investment can fluctuate with market conditions. However, long-term investment in equity funds usually mitigates this risk.

Interest Rate Risk
Debt funds are affected by changes in interest rates. Rising interest rates can reduce the value of existing bonds in a debt fund's portfolio. Short-term debt funds are less affected by this risk.

Credit Risk
Debt funds also face credit risk, the risk of default by issuers of the bonds they hold. Investing in high-quality debt funds can reduce this risk.

Evaluating the Disadvantages of Index Funds
While index funds are popular, they have some drawbacks compared to actively managed funds. Index funds track a specific index and cannot outperform the market. In contrast, actively managed funds aim to beat the market through strategic investments. Fund managers of actively managed funds use their expertise to select high-potential stocks, offering better returns.

Benefits of Investing Through Certified Financial Planners
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) has advantages over direct investments. CFPs provide personalized advice based on your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. They help you select the right mutual funds, monitor your investments, and make adjustments as needed. Their expertise ensures your investments are aligned with your financial goals.


Your disciplined approach to financial management is commendable. Allocating funds for family support and future investments shows foresight and responsibility. Your commitment to making the most of your income is inspiring and deserves appreciation.


Balancing financial obligations while planning for the future is challenging. Your efforts to secure a strong financial foundation for yourself and your family reflect a deep sense of responsibility. It's clear you care about providing for your loved ones while also striving for personal financial growth.

Final Insights
Investing Rs. 70,000 per month in a diversified portfolio of mutual funds is a smart move. By balancing equity, debt, and hybrid funds, you can maximize returns while managing risk. Remember to review your investments regularly and adjust based on performance and changing financial goals.

Your proactive approach to financial planning sets a strong example. With careful management and the right investments, you can achieve significant financial growth and security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

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Hi I have 15 lacs and need to invest which will give me steady monthly income
Ans: You have Rs. 15 lakh and seek steady monthly income. Let’s explore the best options for your needs.

Benefits of Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs)
Regular Income: SWPs provide steady cash flow.
Capital Protection: Keeps your principal relatively safe.
Tax Efficiency: Better tax benefits compared to fixed deposits.
Advantages of Actively Managed Funds in SWPs
Expert Management: Funds managed by professionals.
Better Returns: Potential for higher returns compared to index funds.
Flexibility: Adjust investments based on market conditions.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
No Guidance: Lack of professional advice.
Higher Risk: More risk due to lack of management.
Complexity: Requires significant time and knowledge.
Benefits of Investing Through MFD with CFP Credential
Expert Advice: Helps in making informed decisions.
Regular Monitoring: Keeps investments on track.
Customized Portfolio: Tailored to your goals and risk profile.
Investment Strategy for Steady Monthly Income
Step 1: Allocate Funds to a Balanced Portfolio
Equity Funds: For growth potential.
Debt Funds: For stability and lower risk.
Hybrid Funds: Combine equity and debt for balanced growth.
Step 2: Set Up Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
SWP Mechanism: Withdraw a fixed amount monthly.
Start with Small Amount: Ensure sustainability of the corpus.
Step 3: Regular Monitoring and Adjustments
Quarterly Review: Check fund performance.
Rebalance Annually: Adjust the portfolio to maintain balance.
Step 4: Tax Efficiency
Long-Term Capital Gains: Lower tax rate compared to short-term.
Tax-Free Withdrawals: Certain portions of withdrawals can be tax-free.
Estimated Monthly Income
Assuming a conservative return of 8%, you can withdraw a fixed monthly amount while keeping your principal relatively intact. This could provide a stable income stream while also potentially growing your investment.

Health and Emergency Fund
Maintain a Buffer
Emergency Fund: Keep at least 6 months of expenses.
Health Coverage: Ensure adequate insurance to cover unexpected medical expenses.
Final Insights
To achieve steady monthly income:

Invest Rs. 15 lakh in a balanced portfolio.
Use a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for regular income.
Seek professional advice for customized planning.
Monitor and adjust your investments regularly.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 53 self employed businesses man earning 5 lakh per month with no liabilities for future so tell me 4 lakh mutula fund and 1 lakh stock per month .
Ans: I commend your steady income and clear focus on building wealth. Your high monthly surplus, with Rs. 4 lakh for mutual funds and Rs. 1 lakh for stocks, offers ample opportunities. Let’s structure a detailed plan to make the most of this.

 
 

Strategic Approach for Mutual Fund Investments
Investing Rs. 4 lakh monthly across diverse mutual funds can ensure growth and stability. With a long-term perspective, let’s target funds with varied asset classes and investment styles.

 
 

Allocation Across Fund Categories

To build a robust portfolio, balance between growth-oriented and stable funds:

 

Large-Cap Funds: Allocate about 30% of your monthly amount. Large-cap funds focus on well-established companies. They offer stability with steady growth potential.
 

Flexi-Cap Funds: Consider investing 25% here. Flexi-cap funds adjust across different market caps. They provide flexibility, helping you capture market opportunities.
 

Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds: Allocate 25% towards mid-cap and small-cap funds. These funds come with growth potential but carry higher risk. A mix of both can add significant value in the long term.
 

Balanced Advantage or Hybrid Funds: Assign around 20%. Hybrid funds offer a balanced approach, mixing equity and debt. This smoothens returns, reducing volatility while preserving growth.
 
 

Advantages of Regular Funds with CFP Guidance
Direct funds might appear cost-efficient. But regular funds offer unique advantages, especially when working with an MFD under CFP supervision:

 

Ongoing Guidance: Regular funds allow you to leverage expert advice. A CFP regularly reviews market conditions and rebalances as needed.
 

Efficient Portfolio Adjustments: Fund managers have the flexibility to make adjustments to protect returns. Direct funds lack this oversight.
 

This structure keeps your investments actively managed and responsive to market changes.

 
 

Disadvantages of Index Funds Compared to Actively Managed Funds
While index funds may sound appealing, they lack the dynamism of actively managed funds. Here’s why actively managed funds are better:

 

Higher Return Potential: Skilled fund managers select stocks carefully. This can lead to better returns than index funds.
 

Market Adjustments: Actively managed funds can adapt to market trends, which index funds cannot.
 

For a high-income, disciplined investor like you, the adaptability of actively managed funds adds value to your wealth-building plan.

 
 

Building a Strong Stock Portfolio
Investing Rs. 1 lakh in stocks monthly can add high growth potential. Stock selection should be based on a diversified approach, ensuring a mix of industries and types.

 

Tips for Constructing a Stock Portfolio:

 

Blue-Chip Stocks: Allocate around 40% to blue-chip stocks. These are stable, high-reputation companies with solid returns.
 

Growth Stocks: Invest about 30% here. Growth stocks represent companies with expansion potential. They may bring volatility but offer high rewards over time.
 

Dividend-Paying Stocks: Put around 20% into companies known for consistent dividends. They provide steady income and stability.
 

Sector-Specific Stocks: Dedicate around 10% to high-growth sectors. Think of sectors like technology, healthcare, or green energy.
 
 

Tax Implications and Planning
Capital gains tax rules impact mutual fund and stock returns. Being tax-efficient helps preserve more of your wealth.

 

Mutual Funds Taxation:

 

Equity Funds: Long-term gains (over Rs. 1.25 lakh) are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.
 

Debt Funds: Gains are taxed according to your income tax slab for both short-term and long-term.
 

Stock Taxation:

 

LTCG (for holdings above 1 year): Gains over Rs. 1 lakh are taxed at 10%.

STCG (for holdings under 1 year): Gains are taxed at 15%.

 

Being mindful of these tax policies will help you manage redemptions and withdrawals strategically.

 
 

Regular Portfolio Review for Optimal Performance
With significant monthly contributions, annual reviews are essential. Working with a CFP ensures your portfolio stays aligned with your goals and market conditions.

 

Steps for an Effective Review:

 

Evaluate Fund Performance: Ensure your funds meet performance expectations. Switch funds if they underperform consistently.

Adjust Asset Allocation: As market conditions change, your allocation may need rebalancing. This maintains growth and manages risk.

 

Regular adjustments keep your portfolio resilient and responsive.

 
 

Benefits of SIPs for Consistent Growth
SIP investments offer many advantages, especially with your structured Rs. 4 lakh monthly approach.

 

Rupee Cost Averaging: SIPs average the purchase cost over time, reducing the impact of market volatility.

Disciplined Investment Habit: SIPs automate your investments. This discipline builds wealth consistently, avoiding the need for timing the market.

 
 

Final Insights
Your high surplus allows for a diversified, growth-oriented strategy. By investing in a balanced mix of mutual funds and a well-structured stock portfolio, you create a powerful wealth-building path. Ensure regular monitoring and use a CFP’s insights for optimal results.

 
 

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

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Recently, I (28M) had surgery and have been bedridden for 15 days. During this time, my girlfriend told me her female friend wanted to meet up with a guy. This guy was bringing along a male friend whom I’ve asked my girlfriend to avoid in the past because he tends to get touchy with her. They planned to stay in a hotel, and her friend wanted to be with the guy at night, meaning my girlfriend and the touchy guy would likely share a single room. A couple of days before the trip, she asked me if she should go. I told her it was her choice but made it clear I wasn’t happy about it. Despite that, she went, and when I confronted her, she gave responses like: • “I didn’t invite the touchy guy; the other guy did.” • “Just because you’re bedridden, you don’t want me to go outside.” • “I didn’t touch him; he got touchy with me.” Yeah, maybe I’m jealous or overthinking, but this whole situation has made me unsure about marriage altogether. Am I overreacting?
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This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

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Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Dear Counselor, My husband and I have been together for 11 years, with 10 years of dating and 1 year of marriage. Unfortunately, our relationship has been strained over the past year due to financial disagreements. Before marriage, we discussed his personal loan, which was taken for a land purchase for his mother. The loan repayment amounts to 30% of his salary. He assured me that, except for this loan repayment, he would not contribute financially to his parents' expenses until the loan was paid off. However, his parents are now pressuring him to increase his financial support by 20%. They claim to need help clearing their debts, despite being below 45, physically fit, and earning a sufficient income to support themselves. This situation is causing tension in our marriage, as we had planned to save and invest together, having no property or financial security of our own. I'm finding it challenging to understand why my husband is not prioritizing our financial goals and future together. please help me on this. Thank you for your time and guidance.
Ans: The key here is to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Your husband likely feels a strong sense of duty towards his parents, which is understandable given cultural and familial expectations. However, it’s also important for him to recognize the commitments and plans you’ve both made as a couple. Balancing these two responsibilities can be difficult, but it’s essential for the health of your relationship.

Start by having a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how the situation affects both of you and your shared goals. It’s important that he understands your perspective and how the financial strain is impacting not only your plans but also your emotional well-being.

Encourage him to discuss his feelings and the pressure he’s experiencing from his parents. Sometimes, partners may feel caught between their familial obligations and their commitments to their spouse, leading to stress and internal conflict. Understanding his point of view can help you find common ground.

You might also explore practical solutions together, such as setting clear boundaries on financial support or finding a compromise that allows both your goals and his familial obligations to be met to some extent. This could involve budgeting, setting financial priorities, or seeking financial counseling to help manage the situation more effectively.

Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance that respects both of your needs and ensures that your marriage remains a priority. By working together and communicating openly, you can navigate this challenge and strengthen your relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.
Asked on - Jan 15, 2025 | Answered on Jan 15, 2025
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Thank you very much for ur reply. But i am finding difficult to forget her.
Ans: It might be helpful to focus on the following steps to move forward:

Acceptance: Accept that the relationship has ended and that continuing to hold on to it may be preventing you from healing. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to stop loving her immediately, but it does mean recognizing that the relationship is no longer viable.
Self-Care: Prioritize your emotional well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can help you through this process. Consider exploring new hobbies or interests that can redirect your focus and bring positive energy into your life.
Boundaries: It might be time to set boundaries with your ex-wife, especially if staying in contact is causing you more pain. Taking a step back from communication can provide the space you need to heal and gain clarity.
Professional Support: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and guide you through the healing journey. Professional support can offer valuable tools and strategies to navigate the complex emotions you’re experiencing.
Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to grieve the loss of the relationship. With patience and self-compassion, you can move forward, find peace, and eventually open yourself up to new possibilities and happiness in life.

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