dear Dr. Shyam, whenever i speak with someone in close proximity droplets comes out from my moth due to high percentage of saliva in my mouth. and due to this i am loosing my confidence. is there any remedy for this .

Ans: Dear Balaji,

Thank you for writing in.

First of all, stop labelling yourself (like you have mentioned in the above question "I am an Introvert type"). As humans our brains are wired to believe what information we feed to ourselves.

Second, acceptance. Accepting the way, you are. That is your strength.

Certain steps that can be considered -
- Know the agenda you are entering into. This will help you prepare in advance on the conversations you need to engage in.
If there are no agendas then you can -
- Initiate small talks. For example- talk about current affairs in the industry (avoid talking about religion or politics) as this can get sensitive. Conversation should be general in nature. This will help you break the ice with the individual.
- Asking open ended questions- such questions help you encourage others to share more information. Instead of asking yes/no questions, ask questions that require a more detailed response, such as "What was that experience like for you?" or "Tell me more about..."
- Focus on your observation- Observe your surroundings and what's happening in the environment. You can use these observations as conversation starters. For example, if you're at a restaurant, you can comment on the decor, the food, or the atmosphere.
- Share Personal Stories- Personal anecdotes can make your conversations more relatable and engaging.
-Use Body Language- Your body language can enhance your communication. Maintain eye contact, use gestures to emphasize points, and smile when appropriate to convey warmth and engagement.
-Don’t hesitate to seek for professional help- If you feel that your difficulty in engaging in conversations is causing significant distress or impacting your personal and professional life, consider seeking professional help. This should help you navigate with the tips and tricks.

Hope this helps.

All the best

Ashwini Dasgupta
To your Success. Be You. Be Confident
Author of Confidence Decoded- Is it a Skill or Attitude?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it is when you cannot speak in a group but it is very common too. It is possible that you have social anxiety which is causing this fear of public speaking. Please consider seeking guidance from a therapist who can give you more structured and targeted support. Apart from that, you might want to join some public speaking groups where you can practice in a more supportive environment first and also receive constructive feedback on how to improve your oratory skills.

These small but effective steps can empower you to gradually gain confidence and overcome the challenges you face in public speaking.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Hello
Hypersalivation (excessive saliva production) can be caused by many factors. To find the root cause of your condition these factors will have to be systematically ruled out.
For a start, you could try switching your sleeping position and check if saliva still accumulates in your mouth. Like when you sleep on your back, for instance.
Next would be to consult your dentist to rule out tooth decay or gum infection. If that is ruled out you should consult your General Physician to check for other infections, allergies, other underlying conditions like acid reflux, respiratory infection, etc
The underlying cause, once determined, can easily be treated.

Ans: Dear therinthu,

First of all, it's important to understand that the lockdown affected every one of us in some way or the other. Yours is a more complex mix of emotional and marital problems. Covid has left a lot of us with heightened anxiety issues and that is what might be troubling you as well. Understand that it isn't uncommon and it can be sorted with a little bit of practice. Try practicing eye contact in a less stressful situation, like with a close friend. Maintain eye contact for over five seconds, ten seconds, and so on. You can also practice in front of a mirror. When interacting with someone, focus on the conversation; focus on listening instead of thinking how you are coming off. It will take off the pressure of eye contact and reduce your anxiety.

Your marital issues might be adding to the anxiety. Try having an honest discussion with your wife. Address your problems and offer to see a marriage counselor to work on them. Individual therapies can also work. Seeking the help of a trained professional can benefit your marriage.

The pandemic has been tough on us all. Be kind to yourself.

Best Wishes.