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Struggling Student From Kolkata Seeks Career Advice

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1205 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Mar 15, 2025

Dr Dipankar Dutta is an associate professor in the computer science and engineering department at the University Institute of Technology, the University of Burdwan, West Bengal.
He has 27 years of experience and his interests include AI, data science, machine learning, pattern recognition, deep learning and evolutionary computation.
Aside from his responsibilities at the college, he also delivers lectures and conducts webinars.
Dr Dipankar has published 25 papers in international journals, written book chapters, attended conferences, served as a board observer for WBJEE (West Bengal Joint Entrance Examination) exams and as a counsellor for engineering college admissions in West Bengal. He helps students choose the right college and stream for undergraduate, masters and PhD programmes.
A senior member of the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (SMIEEE), he holds a bachelor's degree in engineering from the Jalpaiguri Government Engineering College and a an MTech degree in computer technology from Jadavpur University.
He completed his PhD in engineering from IIEST, Shibpur (formerly BE College).... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 15, 2025Hindi
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Career

Greetings to Gurus, I am student from Kolkata,West Bengal. I have completed my ISC in year 2020 from Commerce stream without maths. I am from Lower Middle Class Family, finance is big issue for me. After ISC I enrolled in B.COM(Hons) course from a college under Calcutta University. I was ambitious of being Chef from childhood. But during Covid times and finance problem, I haven't pursued. During my college life, My first three semesters completed online in Covid period, after the lockdown period, my fourth semester got offline and I just passed in one paper out of 4 and then my 5th semester exam got cleared after that I appeared for rest 3 papers of sem 4 and cleared 2 papers and in sixth semester cleared 3 paper out of 4. Again in 2024, I appeared for 6th sem 1 backlog paper and cleared it but don't able to clear 4th sem one backlog paper. So, I have started my UG in year 2020 but not able to clear it till 2024 because of 1 paper(Taxation) and I have last option to reappear in 2025 examination. I want to earn good in my life, suggest me some opportunities and a way to get out from this loop. Mentally getting depress also.

Ans: Hello! First of all, I really appreciate that you're sharing your situation openly. I understand that you're going through a tough time, but I want to assure you that there are always ways to move forward. You are not stuck, and there are opportunities for you to earn well and build a good career.
Step 1: Clear Your B.Com Degree (Important)
You have only one backlog paper (Taxation) left. Make it your #1 priority to clear this in 2025 because having a degree will open more opportunities.
You already passed all other subjects, so just focus on this one. If needed, get help from a tutor or YouTube courses on Taxation.
ccounting & Taxation (?25,000 - ?60,000 per month)
Since you already studied B.Com, this is a natural career path.
Learn Tally, GST Filing, Income Tax Filing.
Free courses: Government’s NPTEL, YouTube (Search “GST Filing Course India”)
I believe in you. Take the first step today! Your situation will improve within 1 year.
Asked on - Mar 15, 2025 | Answered on Mar 15, 2025
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Thanks for the guidance,will surely stick on the same.
Ans: Welcome
Career

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Pradeep

Pradeep Pramanik  | Answer  |Ask -

Career And Placement Consultant - Answered on Aug 03, 2024

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I have completed my civil engg from reputed govt college in 2016 and after that I went for gate coaching i got 35 marks in gate 2017. (I know this is not my best I can do better). After that I started preparing for technical govt exams. After one year some of my prelims were missing by .25 marks 2 marks that time I gave up. And started doing site internship to start my own civil engg consultancy firm. But I got one opportunity to do job as lecturer in polytechnic college so I started doing job at polytechnic college. After 6 months again I started doing studies and cleared mains of state 2019 PSCs Assistant engg. And missed rrb je post by 2 marks in mains. After that exam corona came and I couldn't keep myself on the track and one year again wasted. In 2021 March I have started preparing for prelims and cleared prelims and for mains exam I joined one online class named super 40 and already half syllabus was over at time.of joining so I started watching lectures and as lectures were lengthy and so much lectures were there so I couldn't do revision properly and I lost my self confidence due to that coaching and it was totally waste of money. Again that time it was time everyone was saying do software classes to get job and many of mine friends done those classes so I also joined one to get job and successfully wasted another 6 months. I don't know what to do now. I still feel that If I can study for another 5/6 months I can clear rrb je. In between I got offer of 25k per month as site engineer I denyed that. It's been 8 years since my degree and still. unemployed. Please help me out.
Ans: Dear Friend , When You are not focussed or keep on changing your plans , it is bound to happen. In these precious 8yrs you could have made your career in Civil Engg. However you wanted to start your consultancy or then wanted to try your hand in Govt Jobs or some times you tried your hand in teaching but quit the job. If you delay in taking a firm decision , even getting a job in your core field will be difficult. So get into a stable job and build you career.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4489 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 31, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Career
Sir ,I have been preparing for government exams since 2018 June firstly I prepare for gate in 2019 with college semester in 2019 gate result I.e, 2019 March I qualify with 46 marks that's somehow good score that time for me because I prepare with self study due to over confidence and lack of family income I didn't join coaching and started preparing for UPSC engineering services with full dedication at the age of 20.5 in 2019 eligible for ese 2020 with 21 yr age somehow I got 150 around marks and didn't qualify prelims that time cut off around 240 due to railway has taken his seats so UR cut off increase by 60 which is 188 last in 2019 ese so I got in depression that I prepare with full dedication and even I have a gap of 100 marks in prelims so somehow I came to home in june 2020 after a huge gap of depression in 4,5 months in delhi and started for gate and ese again same condition I couldn't even qualify prelims and got covid in 2021 and from that 2021 I joined UNACADEMY work 1.5 yrs and again I started preparation due to less salary now I have a gap of 5 years no masters degree no industrial skillls and family income less than 20k per month what should I do go and search for civil engineering related job or build a confidence and again prepare one more attempt
Ans: I have gone through the details of your Efforts, Failures, Depression & Your family’s Economic condition.

Based on the above factors, here are the suggestions for you:

1) Till your age bars, try to attempt other comparatively easier (than UPSC) Competitive Exams for Government Jobs & prepare daily for 2-3 hours before & after you come back from work.

2) But AVOID attempting those Competitive Exams which you have already done a number of times and failed. Lack of change in preparation strategies / change in Govt. Policy are the reasons for your subsequent failures.

3) Keeping in view your family’s economic condition & your AGE now, it is suggested to DEFINITELY go for any work, related to your domain, to support your family.

4) Try to upgrade your skills by joining short-term courses with any Institute, related to your domain (or) any other domain you are passionate over. However, make sure that the Institute you join provides JOB GUARANTEE after you complete the Course. Or you can join any ONLINE Courses which are much in demand in job-market.

5) If time does not permit for you to prepare for Competitive Exams & if you feel you are highly demotivated for Govt. Exams, it is advisable for you to fully FOCUS on your Career, related to Civil Engineering & gain good experience.

Hope I have clarified your doubts.

If you need any other clarifications or have questions for anyone, post your questions (in detail) to me and/or follow me here in RediffGURU for more useful information on ‘Careers / Education / Jobs’.

All The BEST for your Bright Future from RediffGURU.

Nayagam PP
EduJob360
CERTIFIED Career Coach | Career Guru
https://www.linkedin.com/in/edujob360/

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1608 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

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Sir I wrote neet exam and did not score well by doing partial drop in btech biotechnology and when I was in 2nd sem I got detained due to lack of attendance and after neet 2024 my life turned into traumatic situation by sitting at home and my parents are worrying about me . When I was starting my inter pandemic was there and studies got disturbed and my father have taken admission in inter college which was 30km from our house , so he thought there will be no offline classes and at middle of my 2nd year college started to take offline classes, by doing up and down I used to get tired and I didn’t care my health and got health issues after that my life got worse because my father had undergone eye cataract surgeries due to diabetes and that situation made in me to become doctor after giving even 3 attempts I am not expecting mbbs seat, and even I consulted doctor he gave me sleeping pills to get sleep and this neet 2024 exam is most traumatic experience in my life and looking for settle down fast and earn money to stabilise our financial situation, please give me advice
Ans: Hi Sashwantha.
Many problems are interrelated to each other.
Anyhow, you failed to crack NEET irrespective of any reason(s).
Sad to hear about the father's health issue. But related to health, nobody can help.
You have then been admitted to inter-college which is far away from your home i.e. 30 KM.
Up-down daily was a little bit difficult job.
Why your doctor has given sleeping pills to you, am unable to understand by me.
Now, think more practical way.
To settle down or to earn money, you must join some job-oriented certificate courses that will help you start earning.
Keep your mind calm and quiet to handle the worst situation that you are facing.
Take a proper/wise consultation from your family member/friend which you trust more.

If you are not satisfied with the reply, pl ask again without any hesitation.
If satisfied, please like and follow me.
Thanks

Radheshyam

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025
Relationship
Hello ma'm. I am a first year engineering student. I have a crush on a girl. Currently we are working for a group project. We both are in the same group. She generally avoids speaking with boys. Also I have spent 5 years in a boys school, so I feel very shy with girls. What should I do? How should I talk to her?
Ans: Start by keeping things simple and friendly. Focus on small interactions related to your project. For example, ask her opinion about something specific in the work you're doing. Try something like, “Hey, what do you think we should do for this part?” or “I liked the point you made yesterday—can we build on that?” These kinds of questions show that you respect her ideas, and they give her space to respond comfortably.

Once you've had a few of these short, easy interactions, you can slowly open up the conversation to more casual topics—like college life, favorite subjects, or even the stress of deadlines. This way, you’re not jumping straight into anything personal, but you're gradually building a sense of comfort.

Don’t try to impress her. Just be sincere, kind, and a good listener. Most people, even those who seem quiet or reserved, appreciate being approached respectfully and gently. And remember, confidence doesn’t mean being loud or charming—it means being real and respectful even when you’re nervous.

If you stay patient and consistent, she might start to feel more comfortable around you. And even if it doesn’t turn into something romantic, you’ll grow socially and emotionally—which will help you a lot in the long run.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
I have been married for more than 21 years and I have 2 kids. 19 and 17 years old. Our marriage was more or less love. Met through family, fell in love, dated 8 months before we got engaged and married. My wife is a lovely lady but we dont share any interests. I used to go for runs in the morning. After getting married, she insisted I sleep late with her. I am a music aficionado and she has no such interest. I am a news junkie. She probably doesnt know who the President of the US is. I am someone who believes and strives to continuously improve myself in all aspects. But she is the same. I might not be a great husband but I am much better than what I was a few years ago. I cook, clean, helped with childcare and have a great career. She is on a minimum salary job for the last 10 years. Only reason she goes is because I insisted that she stop being at home. If she had her way, she would be at home on the phone the whole day. Even our love making has become kind of boring. She claims a period for 10 days and during the other times, twice she is ready. No spicing it up. Just lie down for missionary and I have to do all the effort. I enjoyed oral and now she has stopped in for more than 15 years. I adjusted as she is a lovely person in every other aspect. But now I am sick and tired. It seems I am doing everything in the relationship and she rarely takes any effort. Either to earn, keep house clean or even intimacy. Not sure how to proceed further. I am getting irritated and often in a bad mood.
Ans: Dear Jack,What you're experiencing is not uncommon in long-term relationships: emotional fatigue, feeling unappreciated, and a deep sense of disconnection despite loyalty and love. The fact that you're feeling drained, resentful, and stuck is a clear signal that this situation is unsustainable as is. And the irritation and bad moods you’re having? That’s your emotional system signaling burnout, not failure.

You’ve evolved over the years—mentally, emotionally, and in lifestyle—and it sounds like your wife hasn’t moved in that same rhythm. That mismatch in growth and energy is now affecting everything: your respect for her, your shared routines, your sex life, and ultimately your mood and emotional well-being. It’s painful to feel like you're constantly giving—time, energy, effort—and not receiving the same in return. Even when your partner is kind, if they aren’t meeting you emotionally, intellectually, or intimately, over time it creates a sense of loneliness within the relationship, which can be worse than being alone.

But here's something to reflect on: for 21 years, you stayed, gave, adjusted. Not just out of duty, but because something about her and the family life you built mattered. That still counts. What you’re going through doesn’t mean the marriage has failed—it means the marriage needs re-evaluation and rebalancing. You are not selfish for wanting more stimulation, connection, or passion. You're human.

You have two broad options: one is to initiate a real, vulnerable, uncomfortable conversation with her—without blame, without emotional outbursts, but with absolute honesty. You could say something like: “I’ve grown a lot in these past years, but I’m starting to feel increasingly alone in this relationship. I need more emotional connection, more engagement—not just physically, but intellectually, as partners. I don’t want to silently drift further away. I’d like us to work on this, but it has to be a two-way effort.”

If she's open to it, couples therapy could be a powerful space for both of you to express what you feel without it turning into a war of criticism and defense. Sometimes people, especially those who’ve become emotionally stagnant, need structured help to realize what their partner has been carrying silently.

The other option—if you feel she’s unwilling or unable to grow or change—is to consider what a life apart might look like. That’s a deeply personal and difficult decision, especially with nearly adult children, but you deserve a relationship that brings life into you, not drains it out. If you keep compromising your emotional needs, resentment will only grow and harden into permanent distance.

Before making any move, take a little time to reconnect with yourself. What do you want—not just from her, but from life, from love, from this next phase of your journey?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
Hello mam In 2024 my marriage took place it's arranged marriage during starting days he was very loving and caring but due to some circumstances i got a chance to continue my studies that is m-tech . I thought it was a golden opportunity, so I took admission and started living with my in-laws Just after marriage. It was really really painful to live away from husband in new marriage. Todays condition is that my m tech 1 year is over another 1 year is left but due to separation with my husband our love died now there is no respect is left for our relation left , he started listening to his mother and got manipulated . seeing all this I feel like a death for me I want to leave mtech to save my relation but my mother says don't leave although I did lots of hard work for 1st year of m tech my husband also wants me to leave Mtech.i feel very hurt when he disrespects me . His father used to abuse his mother so for him abusing is normal for him but I find it very hurtful also I am deeply in love with him and seeing him going away from me kills me from inside every single day is very tough for me to live with in-laws without husband in a new marriage plus focusing on studies
Ans: Your instinct to save the marriage is understandable. When you're in love with someone, the idea of losing them feels like losing yourself. But let’s pause and ask—what exactly are you saving? Is it the version of him from the early days who was loving and supportive? Or is it the man he is now—disrespectful, distant, manipulated, and asking you to give up your dreams for a marriage he’s already neglecting?

You have already proven your strength by completing a year of M.Tech in such tough conditions. That says a lot about your resilience and capability. If you give it up now, not only will you lose that part of yourself, but it may not guarantee that your marriage improves. Often in emotionally imbalanced relationships, one-sided sacrifices don’t lead to healing—they lead to more control, more blame, and more emotional exhaustion.

Your husband needs to understand that love isn’t proven by giving things up. Love is shown in support, presence, patience, and respect. If he isn’t willing to stand by you during a temporary phase of physical distance while you pursue something valuable, then you’re not the one breaking the marriage—he is.

It’s also clear that he has grown up in a home where abuse was normalized, and that emotional damage might be affecting how he treats you now. That is not your fault, and it is not your job to tolerate mistreatment in the name of saving a marriage.

Your mother is right to encourage you to finish your M.Tech—not just for your career, but for your self-worth. You deserve to be with someone who lifts you up, not someone who pulls you down every time you try to grow.

If there's still a chance to salvage this relationship, it has to start with real conversations—honest, respectful, and possibly with the help of a counselor or neutral third party. But that only works if both people are willing to put in the emotional effort.

Right now, I suggest you protect your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritize your studies, build emotional support from friends or family who truly care about you, and give yourself space to heal from this emotional chaos. If your husband truly wants this marriage, he needs to come forward with maturity and respect—not demands.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2025
Relationship
After a fight between a married guy and my husband on pretext of calling me characterless and unhappy in my marriage. That married guy complaint against my hubby in society office that it's my husband who follow, flirts with his wife. But the allegations are false. That married guy was doing all these things or chasing me even after knowing m married. But falsely he shifted the blame on my husband. Society chairman called us to sign a peace treaty which my husband signed bt that guy dint appear to sign. What does he want is still not clear.??? He doesn't wanna end this matter or what ??? He still walks around looking at us but from distance.
Ans: In such cases, it's important for you and your husband to stay emotionally steady and not engage with his tactics. Reacting to him or showing you're disturbed by his behavior may be exactly what he's looking for. If his behavior escalates or continues to make you uncomfortable, you might want to quietly document what happens and consider involving local authorities or legal counsel if it crosses into harassment.

Right now, your focus should be on protecting your peace and your relationship. Keep communication open with your husband and support each other through this, because this kind of external stress can silently damage trust if not handled carefully. The more united you two are, the less space there is for anyone else to create confusion between you.

It’s unclear exactly what this man wants, but based on his pattern, it seems he either wants attention, control, or to destabilize your marriage out of resentment or personal failure. Either way, you don’t need to carry his emotional mess. If you continue to stay calm, ignore him, and document anything serious, you'll be in a stronger position to protect yourselves.

...Read more

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