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Is It Okay to Expect Financial Support From My Son Living in the US?

Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |307 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

Professor Suvasish Mukhopadhyay, fondly known as ‘happiness guru’, is a mentor and author with 33 years of teaching experience.
He has guided and motivated graduate and postgraduate students in science and technology to choose the right course and excel in their careers.
Professor Suvasish has authored 47 books and counselled thousands of students and individuals about tackling challenges in their careers and relationships in his three-decade-long professional journey.... more
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Dear sir , I am writing to express some concerns and seek your advice regarding my son who is currently working in the USA after completing his Master's degree. While I am proud of his achievements, I find myself feeling a bit confused about my role as a father during this phase of his life. As he focuses on his career and plans for the future, I wonder if I should expect some support from him for our family's needs, especially considering the financial burden I have undertaken for his education, which amounts to about 1 crore. Additionally, I have responsibilities towards my 90+ year-old mother and my other son, who is also in need of educational support. My son seems to be making all his life decisions independently, including matters relating to his future marriage, without seeking our input. This leaves me feeling sidelined in his life choices. Can you please share your thoughts on how I should navigate this situation? Your guidance would be invaluable as I try to understand my place and expectations in this new dynamic. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to your response.

Ans: First let me tell you, I am always with you. In this platform I can't share my phone no or email ID. But I will give you the ultimate solution. As a father you have done your full duty and I understand your situation. 90+ mother is there and along with her another son's complete responsibility is there. Regarding marriage and other things let him take his own decision, no issue. But during the critical hours he has to support you per month and the minimum amount what he should send is 1200 US Dollar ( nearly one lakh rupees). Straight away put this condition. This discaring attitude generates out of pampering and for 99% sons their typical Indian mothers are responsible. Put your condition with a tough tone. Be good for good and bad for bad. Now behave like a manager, not like a father. I don't know his branch. If he is in IT then he must be earning 9000-10000 US Dollar per month. So let him send 1200 USD per month. If he doesn't listen to you then for time being keep distance with him. You are the father, so you must have the personality so that he listens to you. Use this advice and follow me and in future please contact me whenever you face some difficulties. Regards. Professor.
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Hi , I am 40 years married and have one child residing in Bangalore. I have 30 lakh in PPF , 32 lakh in PF and 15 Lakh in MF and around 40 Lakh in Shares. A flat in different city of value around 60 lakh I have two emi for total 67000 per month running for next 3 years. Rent is 35k per month. Income around 3 lakh per month. I am planning to buy flat , 2.1 cr taking loan 1.5 cr for 20 years. Remaining 60 lakh as personal financing for flat purchase with income for next 2 years. Please advise what I can do to manage my finance and build corpus for saving as well
Ans: Hello;

Your monthly expenses:
Current EMIs: 67000
New EMI: ~133000
Rent: 35000
Household expenses:~ 50000
Total monthly Expense: 285000
Total monthly Income:~ 300000

You have hardly any income left for investments.

If I would have been in your place, I would have settled earlier loans before venturing into a new home loan, using part of the savings.

Also I would have sold the flat in other city and used the sale proceeds towards down payment of new house purchase.

This will ensure that my current investments remain mostly untouched(except loan prepayment).

I get exemption from long term capital gain arising from sale of old flat since reinvested into new residence(As per provisions of ITax Act).

My EMI burden will be much lesser and I can invest aggressively in mutual funds and NPS for:
1. Kid higher education &
2. Retirement

This was my perspective.

You may have different approach but key is to ensure reasonable amount of debt so that you have disposable income left for investments towards
future goals.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

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Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

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Hi , I am 40 years married and have one child residing in Bangalore. I have 30 lakh in PPF , 32 lakh in PF and 15 Lakh in MF and around 40 Lakh in Shares. A flat in different city of value around 60 lakh I have two emi for total 67000 per month running for next 3 years. Rent is 35k per month. Income around 3 lakh per month. I am planning to buy flat , 2.1 cr taking loan 1.5 cr for 20 years. Remaining 60 lakh as personal financing for flat purchase with income for next 2 years. Please advise what I can do to manage my finance and build corpus for saving as well
Ans: Hello;

Your monthly expenses:
Current EMIs: 67000
New EMI: ~133000
Rent: 35000
Household expenses:~ 50000
Total monthly Expense: 285000
Total monthly Income:~ 300000

You have hardly any income left for investments.

If I would have been in your place, I would have settled earlier loans before venturing into a new home loan, using part of the savings.

Also I would have sold the flat in other city and used the sale proceeds towards down payment of new house purchase.

This will ensure that my current investments remain mostly untouched(except loan prepayment).

I get exemption from long term capital gain arising from sale of old flat since reinvested into new residence(As per provisions of ITax Act).

My EMI burden will be much lesser and I can invest aggressively in mutual funds and NPS for:
1. Kid higher education &
2. Retirement

This was my perspective.

You may have different approach but key is to ensure reasonable amount of debt so that you have disposable income left for investments towards
future goals.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

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