Virenderji, I’m looking for a self-improvement book, about issues with relationships, self-defeating habits, and struggling with life in general. Any suggestions on a good book?

Ans:

Start a new hobby, build a bucket list and start with one activity at a time that interests you the most -- be it dance or some musical instrument, painting etc.

Be with the right motivational people. The right company matters always -- they can inspire us while the wrong company can do otherwise.

Digital media and TED Talks are filled with inspirational stories; watch the ones you feel inspired by.

Take a hard look at what your likings are. Are they really helping you to grow or they are just bringing you down?

The will power will come eventually; you have to start taking steps in the right direction.

 

Ans: Hi Prasana, Since you have neither given your qualifications nor your reading preferences, i will assume that you are a graduate and not a book buff. I suggest you go for simple books by Indian authors as they become more relatable. Besides general motivation you should read books on people who's stories can motivate you. I can suggest three books to motivate you. you can read two books written by me- 'Excellence the Amitabh Bachchan way' and 'Creative entrepreneurship the Walt Disney way. Both published by Rupa Publishers and on Amazon, Flipkart. You can also read 'Talking straight ' by Lee Iacoca. Search for this on Amazon. Hope these help you.

Ans: Welcome.
You should contact your class teachers for additional help. Thanks

Ans: Dear mods,
Merely trying to improve isn't going to help you improve because the reasons for which you actually want to improve are not clear to you. You are simply comparing yourself to others and 'trying' to be like them or do what they do.
What makes you not focus on what you want to do? For this,
- identify what you are good at
- stop this self-pity party that keeps you tucked into your comfort zone
- challenge yourself with small things first
- ask a friend to be a 'buddy' who can act like your mirror and also motivate you
- celebrate small wins and also analyze your losses too

Unless you start somewhere, you are not going to change and along with changing self-talk, also ask yourself the most important question:
What change do I want in myself and what are the things that will make that happen?
Follow through with a plan BUT this is possible once you shake yourself out your self-pity and choose to move ahead.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: The inconsistency you feel isn’t a reflection of weakness. It’s a result of being caught between two parts of yourself—one who wants to evolve, and one who is afraid to lose the comfort of old beliefs, even if they no longer serve you. That internal conflict is heavy, especially without a guiding voice to help you sort through it. You’re not alone in that—many young adults feel exactly this way, especially those with big dreams and high sensitivity to their environment.

Rather than trying to “fix” your personality or “force” your discipline, start by restoring trust in yourself. Trust doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from showing up consistently for yourself in small, simple ways without pressure to perform. Your fear of failure and even your fear of success are both rooted in the same place: the doubt that you are enough as you are.

It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to not have all the answers. The goal isn’t to become a different person—it’s to become more at peace with the person you are becoming. Self-leadership starts here: by choosing compassion over criticism, patience over pressure, and honesty over performance. Even if your steps are small and scattered, they are steps forward.

You don’t need external urgency to change. You need internal safety to try. So let’s shift the story you’re telling yourself. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You are learning, growing, and unlearning decades of conditioning—and that’s not only brave, it’s transformative.

Keep going. Gently, but steadily. And every time you fall back into old patterns, remind yourself: coming back is progress too. The journey to emotional strength is not about never falling—it’s about returning to yourself, again and again, with love.