I am a single mother, and at times not able to spend more time with my 11-year-old daughter due to work commitments. Lately, she has become quieter and more withdrawn. How do I explain my situation to her, so she understands without feeling neglected or unimportant? What are some ways I can reassure her of my love and support while balancing the demands of work?
Ans: Hi!!
You and your daughter are a team! You share a connection that goes beyond human comprehension—it is a soul connection. So, trust yourself and trust your daughter.
She is eleven and soon to be a teenager. Her body and mind are going to undergo many changes, and that preparation has already begun. Her silence and withdrawal may not necessarily be entirely because of you.
Children are remarkably resilient. They understand very well what is happening around them and are often more willing to cooperate than we give them credit for. So, talk to her without guilt. You are doing a great job—you are working, providing for her, and taking care of your child. You really have to believe this yourself.
Being a mother is not an easy job, and you are a working single mother. Give yourself some credit for managing all of this. Be proud of yourself. That positivity and confidence will naturally rub off on your daughter.
I am going to focus on the solutions here.
You want to assure her that you love her and that you are always there for her. So, how do you go about doing this?
Just as you would sit across the table and discuss a problem at the office, I want you to create a similar ritual with your daughter. Every Sunday, sit together and plan the week ahead. Make it something you both look forward to.
Then, try to do something fun together each day. It could be as simple as taking a walk after dinner, playing a game together, reading together, or just sitting and talking. It does not have to be an elaborate activity. Even 20 minutes of meaningful, undivided time every day can make a difference.
You propose the activity and let her choose. Introduce this slowly, until it becomes a natural ritual between the two of you.
Children really don’t need anything expensive or fancy from you. They need your time, your attention, your presence—and those hugs.
One more very important aspect is giving her your undivided attention when she wants to talk to you. Stop whatever you are doing, face her, make eye contact, and listen to her. Let her feel that, at that moment, she has your complete attention.
And finally, try to leave the stress of office work outside the door of your home. When you are home, be completely involved in your home and with your daughter. Talk to her about your day, so that she feels comfortable talking to you about hers.
Have conversations—not just instructions and questions. Create a space where she knows that she can come to you with anything.
These are some simple, everyday ways of reconnecting with your daughter and, more importantly, reassuring her that she is loved, she is important, and you are always there for her.
Happy parenting! Wishing you the very best....
Question by Anand on Jul 13, 2025Hindi
