Should I be happy about my son's admission to Thapar Electronics and CS or worried about his average BITS score?

Ans: HI,
GREETINGS FROM THE REDIFFGURUS!

YOU SHOULD GET MORE THAN 95% IN 12TH STANDARD.

ALL THE BEST.

Ans: Based on your son's rank, admission to top NIT CSE/ECE branches is difficult, but some lower branches in newer NITs, IIIT ECE/IT-related branches, and GFTIs remain possible options. Potential JoSAA and CSAB targets include IIIT Una, IIIT Kalyani, IIIT Bhagalpur, IIIT Bhopal, IIIT Ranchi, IIIT Kurnool, and IIIT Dharwad; NITs like Meghalaya, Mizoram, Nagaland, Sikkim, and Arunachal Pradesh for non-CSE branches; and GFTIs such as Sant Longowal, Assam University, and Gurukula Kangri. It is important to apply for CSAB Special Rounds as vacant-seat cutoffs may relax. Additionally, reviewing JoSAA opening and closing ranks from the past 2–3 years will provide valuable insights to help your son confidently select and maximize his preferred choices. If possible, consider 3-4 reputed private engineering colleges in and around Delhi as backup options. ALL the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

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Ans: HI GS,
GREETINGS FROM THE REDIFFGURUS!
It can be quite challenging to get into top-tier NITs. However, there are still opportunities available with NITs such as AP, Srinagar, Mizoram, Nagaland, or Manipur, particularly for core branches like Civil Engineering, Metallurgy, or Biotechnology.

Alternatively, consider specialized GFTIs or state-level engineering colleges, which may offer better programs than some NITs.

Make sure to actively participate in the counseling process until she reaches the desired college.
BEST WISHES.

Ans: Sekhar, At CRL 23,746 with 98.5 percentile, the best decision should be based on long-term salary growth and career flexibility. For high salary and future-ready careers, generally CSE/IT is preferred over ECE, and ECE is preferred over Electrical, but a strong NIT brand can be better than taking CSE in a much weaker lower NIT. Motilal Nehru National Institute of Technology Allahabad has very strong placement momentum, with CSE average packages reported around ?28 LPA and major recruiters like Microsoft, Goldman Sachs, Oracle, PhonePe and Qualcomm regularly hiring. Maulana Azad National Institute of Technology Bhopal and National Institute of Technology Jamshedpur also have strong placement records and good recruiter presence. My strict order of preference would be MNNIT Allahabad ECE first, followed by MANIT Bhopal ECE, then NIT Jamshedpur ECE, followed by MNNIT or MANIT Electrical, and only after that CSE in a lower NIT if that institute has strong coding culture and recruiter access. NIT Jamshedpur Electrical should come after these options. My final recommendation is to prefer ECE at MNNIT Allahabad or MANIT Bhopal over CSE in a much lower NIT because it offers stronger brand value, better placement quality, coding opportunities, semiconductor and VLSI career options, and better long-term growth for both core and software roles. ALL the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Ans: Kumar, expected KCET rank usually falls roughly in the 8,000–15,000 range for engineering under general?merit. ALL the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Ans: Varsha, For NITs, chances of a “decent branch” are very low in regular JoSAA, even with UP female + OBC-NCL benefit. MNNIT Allahabad home-state branches are also unlikely at this percentile. Still, fill choices for all lower branches in newer NITs, GFTIs, and IIITs, and definitely apply for CSAB Special Rounds, where vacant seats may improve chances. It is advisable to have the following backup options: UPTAC/AKTU counselling, MMMUT Gorakhpur, Bundelkhand University, BIET Jhansi, KNIT Sultanpur, and good private colleges like JSS Noida, KIET, ABES, GL Bajaj, Galgotias, NIET. Keep CSE/IT/ECE in state/private colleges as a stronger plan. ALL the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Ans: Manoj Ji, With UP domicile, MNNIT Allahabad is the home-state NIT, but CSE/ECE are difficult; lower branches may be borderline depending on EWS rank. Better chances: NIT Patna, NIT Raipur, NIT Hamirpur, NIT Jalandhar, NIT Kurukshetra lower branches, and newer NITs like Meghalaya, Mizoram, Nagaland, Sikkim, Arunachal Pradesh. For IIITs, try IIIT Una, Kalyani, Bhagalpur, Bhopal, Kottayam, Dharwad, Kurnool, Ranchi, Nagpur ECE/IT-related branches. Use official JoSAA 2025/2024 rank archives for exact branch matching. Also register for CSAB Special Rounds, where vacant-seat cutoffs may relax. It is advisable to have the following options also as backups: AKTU/UPTAC counselling, HBTU Kanpur, MMMUT Gorakhpur, JIIT, Thapar, VIT-North India Campuses, SRM-North India Campuses, and Manipal-Jaipur. Additionally, reviewing JoSAA opening and closing ranks from the past 2–3 years will provide valuable insights and help your daughter confidently select and fill her preferred & maximum number of choices.
ALL the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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Ans: You don’t actually want to choose between your parents and your boyfriend.
You want both love and autonomy. And that is a fair need.
The reason it feels so heavy is because you’ve been conditioned to believe that choosing yourself means hurting your parents. So even when you do something right for your life, it comes with guilt.
But here’s the shift you need to make:
You’re not choosing against your parents.
You’re choosing for your life.
Right now, hiding is draining you because it keeps you stuck in fear. But being fully open without boundaries leads to interference. So the balance is this:
Be honest, but don’t hand over control.
You can say:
“I respect your opinion, but I need to make my own decisions about my life.”
They may not like it immediately. They may react emotionally. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong—it just means they’re adjusting.
The real work for you is learning to sit with that guilt without giving in to it. Because that guilt is not a signal that you’re doing something wrong—it’s a sign that you’re doing something new.
You don’t have to stop loving your parents.
You just have to stop losing yourself to keep them comfortable.
That’s the line you’re learning to walk right now.

Ans: What you’re experiencing feels overwhelming because it’s new to you, not because it is “wrong” in itself. In many joint families, things like shared spaces, open movement in the house, less privacy, and collective responsibilities are quite normal. People grow up with that system, so for them it doesn’t feel intrusive—it feels like family closeness.
At the same time, you come from a background where privacy, independence, and personal boundaries were natural, so the contrast feels like a loss. Both realities are valid. Neither is completely right or wrong—they are just different value systems.

This is also something that ideally should be discussed before marriage, but since it wasn’t, you are now learning and adjusting in real time—which is understandably difficult.

Now the goal is not to reject the joint family system or force yourself to accept everything silently. The goal is to find a middle ground where you can function without losing yourself.

When you talk to your husband, acknowledge his reality too. That will make him more open to hearing you. You can say something like:
“I understand this is how your family has always lived, and I respect that. But for me this is very new, and I’m struggling to adjust to the lack of personal space. I don’t want to disrespect anyone, but I also need some space to feel comfortable.”

This way, you are not attacking his family—you are explaining your adjustment challenge.

Also, instead of expecting a complete change, focus on small, realistic adjustments:
A basic level of privacy in your room (like knocking)
Some flexibility in daily expectations
Clear communication about responsibilities

In joint families, change usually doesn’t happen suddenly—it happens gradually and through understanding, not confrontation.

And one important mindset shift for you:
Adjustment doesn’t mean losing yourself completely.
But it also doesn’t mean expecting the environment to become exactly like your old life.

You are now learning how to live between two worlds.

If both you and your husband handle this with patience and respect, it can become manageable. If either side becomes rigid, then it starts feeling like suffocation.

So your task is not to “fit in perfectly,”
but to adapt without disappearing.