Hi I am 45 and single. After my mother's sad demise i am bit depressed and i am not able to do the work and indulge myself in day to day activities. Kindly help

Ans: Dear Lost Guy, can you firstly be thankful that you have such wonderful parents who stand by your decision and love and support you?

Second, unless you have been clinically diagnosed, you don’t have depression.

What you possibly are feeling is upset, sad and disappointed and inability to sleep or losing appetite can be because of this.

What you might want to do is ask: “Why did I cancel my enrolment when I could have gone through the course like many others would have?

Now that I am back in India, what best can I do to pursue a course that will put me back in the game without any more loss of time?”

Focus on what you want and you will see your energies return.

Simply draw a picture of what you wanted to do always; agreed that the location might have changed, but you are the same person who wanted to do his Masters.

Who knows what India might have in store for you!

And put on those jogging shoes and hit the track; it can positively impact the mind and do remember: Every challenge has an opportunity for growth and YES you CAN.

Wishing you a beautiful future!

Ans: Dear HS, I am truly sorry for your loss; the passing away of a loved one is never easy on anyone.

Now let’s focus on what you might be bothered by. See, if you are going to depend on the external environment to increase your confidence or self-esteem, then you are setting yourself up for a rude disappointment.

Your state of mind is your choice which is the one that dictates how you perceive the environment around you.

If you wake every morning feeling sorry for yourself, do you think you are going to perform well at work?

Shying away from a social life just because you are body shamed pushes you back into an unfavorable state of mind where you shut away even a few ‘good’ people.

Why deprive yourself of the little joys just because some people measure you by how you look?

What do you get by giving into that drama that these people have created?

More agony, I presume! And then the loop goes on and on…

Do check a few inspiring videos on how people have overcome body shaming and take a leaf out of it and start living for who you are; people start respecting you when you respect yourself first.

Well, romantic feelings sometimes may not be reciprocated; but you feel sad because you already are in a self-pity mode; what if your mind space was stronger?

A rejection from a girl, would have still been fine and would have been easy to move on.

Sorry, I need to be honest and show you the mirror, rather than just cheer you up. Get up, stand tall, show up. Show Up, no matter what!

Respect yourself for who you are…you are your best Ally…Now, I want you to dust yourself off of all the feelings that are not useful and Show Up and Take Charge…watch how things change…

Best wishes and simply Show Up…You can do this…

Ans: Dear J,
I am truly sorry for your loss and can only imagine how this has been affecting you!
The world has opened up through the power of the Internet and
- You can access various groups that boast of like-minded people who share interests similar to yours
- You can also take up teaching through the virtual medium so that the next generation can benefit from your expertise
- Reach out to old colleagues and connect with them and come up with an idea of doing a joint project together
- Hit a nearby park where you might find a Laughter Club, Yoga Club and other activities that will also keep you physically fit
- if you have ever thought of writing a book, NOW is the time
You get the drift? It's all about being part of a group or team that has a strong purpose that keeps you physically and mentally fit. You are only as lonely as you think...it feels real BUT when you channelize your time productively and purposefully, you will feel a sense of fulfilment!

All the best!