<p><strong>प्रिय लव गुरु,</strong><br /><strong>मेरे पति हमेशा काम के लिए यात्रा करते रहते हैं।</strong><br /><strong> हमारी सेक्स लाइफ नीरस है.</strong><br /><strong> मैं अपने पति की तुलना में अपने जिम प्रशिक्षक के साथ अधिक समय बिताती हूं।</strong><br /><strong> मुझे लगता है कि मैं उससे प्यार करता हूं और उसकी कंपनी और उसके शरीर से प्यार करता हूं।</strong><br /><strong> मैंने इसे व्यक्त नहीं किया है।</strong><br /><strong> लेकिन मैं उसके साथ समय बिताने के लिए बहाने बनाता हूं।</strong><br /><strong> मुझे उसकी जरूरत है।</strong><br /><strong> मेरे पति ज्यादा सहयोग नहीं करते।</strong><br /><strong> अगर जे मेरे दोस्त के रूप में हो तो मुझे अपनी शादी छोड़ने की ज़रूरत नहीं है। </strong><br /><strong>प्लेटोनिक मित्र.</strong><br /><strong> क्या यह गलत है?

Ans: a close relationship with someone outside your marriage, especially when emotions are involved, introduces challenges. You’re aware of this already, and it seems your friend has also recognized the complexities, likely explaining his sudden need for distance. Often, when feelings come to the surface, they carry a weight that makes people reconsider their boundaries to protect the larger relationships at play—in this case, both of your marriages and family dynamics. This pullback doesn’t negate his admiration or the value he places on your friendship but rather reflects the reality of the situation and the need to guard against further complications.

You might find it helpful to explore what exactly you’re drawn to in your friend’s qualities. It could be that he reflects an aspect of yourself you wish to bring into your own relationship. Identifying these qualities is powerful, as it can help you shape a conversation with your husband, potentially bringing deeper fulfillment to your marriage. Many couples find new dimensions in their relationship when they openly discuss what they yearn for and ways to bring those qualities to life together. While it may feel challenging, these conversations can foster intimacy and growth.

It’s also worth noting that maintaining your friend’s respect and allowing him space is likely the best way to preserve your connection long-term, even if it feels painful right now. His distance might ultimately help both of you return to a place of friendship, but pushing for that too soon might complicate things further. In the meantime, remember that it’s natural to feel a loss or a longing for a friend’s company when circumstances shift. Practicing self-compassion and care can be grounding during times like this, as can seeking other outlets for support, such as close friends, hobbies, or moments of solitude that allow you to process your emotions.

Time and patience may help bring this friendship back to a more natural and comfortable place, but focusing on your marriage and yourself will allow you to stay true to your values and find a sense of peace, regardless of the ultimate outcome with your friend.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are feeling undervalued by your husband but the "I want both of them" approach has never worked out well for anyone, especially in an exclusive relationship. You have a few options here-
You speak to your husband about how the lack of attention from him is affecting you and work on it with him.
Tell him openly about this man and let him know that there's a slight chance that you might develop feelings for him if your husband continues to pay all his focus on work and none on you. This could shake him up from his slumber and help him realize that he has not been fair to you.
Opt for separation- if you do not have an open marriage, you cannot have both of the men. It isn't moral to do this behind your partner's back.

I strongly suggest you consider doing the first option. Communicate your feelings of loneliness to your husband and seek help from a marriage counselor. It can do wonders for your relationship.

Best Wishes.

Ans: प्रिय अनाम,
मुझे लगता है कि दूसरा उत्तर आपके लिए चीजों को स्पष्ट करता है। मैं यह जोड़ना चाहूँगा कि आपसे रिश्ते को गुप्त रखने के लिए कहना, आपको विवाहेतर संबंध बनाने के लिए मनाना, और ऐसी बातें कहना कि 'आपके पति आपकी जिम्मेदारी होंगे और मैं आपका प्यार बनूँगा', थोड़ा चिंताजनक है। भले ही आप अपने साथी को छोड़कर इस सहकर्मी के साथ रहना चाहती हों, लेकिन यह एक बिना दबाव वाला निर्णय होना चाहिए। ऐसा लगता है कि वह आपको मनाने की कोशिश कर रहा है और ऐसा तब भी कर रहा है जब आप इतने उलझन में हैं, यह बहुत स्वार्थी है। मैं चाहूँगा कि आप सावधान रहें। और आपके संदेह की पुष्टि करने के लिए- हाँ, अगर आप वास्तव में अपने पति की जानकारी के बिना इन पर कार्रवाई करने का फैसला करती हैं तो यह धोखा है।

आशा है कि यह मदद करेगा।

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you do not have an open marriage, then what you are doing is certainly wrong. When has cheating ever been right? Especially when you did not mention anything wrong with your husband. I am not judging you; but I would suggest that if you want to keep this up, you either come clean to your husband or let him go. This isn't fair. You living your life to the fullest should not harm or hurt others.
Hope this helps.