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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Saroj Question by Saroj on Dec 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi mam, I had discussed all this with my wife. She told me that she knows there problem. Brother in law wife already discussed all this with my wife briefly. I mean she knows it's before but not shared with me at all not a hint. And also taking help from me .my wife suggest her that she will approach to me . So I am in shock all this thing is running behind on with me. Even my wife did not even disagree with them. I mean she is agree with the intimacy of me with her for a baby. Now I am more confused. Whom to trust. What I will do.

Ans: Try to share your concern with your wife that how her behaviour ( knowing everything since beginning and not sharing with you) has effected you and your trust in the relation try to be more understanding rather then putting allegations on her and then explain her how this decision can impact life of you both including your child try to convenience your wife to talk to your brother in law and his wife about considering other options like surrogacy or adoption for harmony in the family. try talking to her on terms i mentioned above

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 30, 2023

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Relationship
Hi , I am married have a kid and staying happily. My brother-in-law married 3 year back .Now the problem is my brother-in-law and her wife does not have baby. They both consult doctor and the doctor told that my brother-in-law is not capable of produce child. They did not disclose this to any body. Recently I have visited my in law home .My brother-in-law wife's explain this to me. She told me that we need your help (In details she told me that she want to do sex with me for a baby ) then suddenly i got shocked. I did not expect this thing from her. She told me that she already discuss with my brother-in-law regarding doing sex with me for a baby.my brother-in-law agree on that and told her that you only discuss . They are very depressed now. By seeing this sometime i feel that i will help them but the other side i feel that indirectly i am cheating my kid and wife. I am very much love with my kid and wife. So need your suggestion what will be better for me.
Ans: Dear Saroj,
It's understandable that you are facing a challenging and sensitive situation. Have an open and honest conversation with your brother-in-law and his wife. Discuss your concerns and the potential impact on your own family. Make sure all parties involved fully understand the emotional and ethical complexities of such a decision. Reflect on your own values and beliefs. Consider how this decision may align with your principles and the impact it might have on your relationships with your wife and child Think about the potential long-term consequences for all parties involved. This includes the emotional impact on your own family, as well as the potential challenges and dynamics that may arise if a child is born as a result of this arrangement. Discuss the situation with your spouse. Open communication is crucial in a marriage. Share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns, and consider how your spouse feels about the proposal. Explore other options for your brother-in-law and his wife, such as adoption or alternative fertility treatments. These options may provide a way for them to achieve their goal without creating potential complications within your own family. Remember, it's essential to prioritize the well-being of your own family while also approaching the situation with empathy and understanding. Take the time to carefully weigh the potential outcomes and make a decision that aligns with your values and the best interests of everyone involved. If needed, seek professional guidance to navigate through this complex and sensitive situation.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 08, 2024

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Relationship
Hello madam, I am 41 year old , married , my wife also same age have a daughter 4 year old. I lost my parent in the earlier age that i did not remember (when i was around 5 to 6 year old ) .After that i am grown up by my distance relative(which is now my in-law family).In my in law family only my mother in law and 2 daughter (One my wife and other my sister in law (un married , 35 year now ). So now i am staying in in law home only as i do not have any body apart from them. They are very loyal to me and take care very much as i told i am staying from childhood. I married around 10 year back and my wife first delivery is so complex one. Our doctor advice not to be proceed with any more pregnancy , it may harm her life. now mom-in-law, wife both telling me that get married to sister-in-law (just informally) I mean they want a baby by me and sister-in-law . because she is 35 year old now for make a family. sister-in-law she also agreed .frankly speaking i have physical relationship with my sister in law and the my wife knew that and she does not have any problem(she is not active in physical relation as her body is not supporting ). So need your advice in this case.
Ans: Dear Kumar,
What are you all a part of' a circus? So, if your wife might not be able to have a baby again, you are asked to marry your sister-in-law and have a baby with her? And oh, you have a physical relationship with her as well? What exactly is going on?

Marrying another person when your first marriage is still very much alive is not recognized by the Hindu Marriage Act. Informally marrying? What is this, some kind of a movie that you are all trying to enact? So, just because your wife is not physically active, you are trying to justify as to why you need to sleep with another woman just because your in-laws want it?

Please grow up all of you...move out of your in-laws house and make your own home and your family so that this intermingling does not disturb your marriage and especially your child. You DO NOT (if you are) need to feel obligated towards your in-laws because they raised you. This is not the way you need to repay them...Get a hold of your life!

All the best!

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8474 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
Sir we took a sbi global Ed-vantage education loan with collateral for 80lakh on May 2024. For 10.65.%for 15yrs. They said int rates are computerized pan India. So we trusted them. But after one year nd disbursement of 40lakh . But we got email saying interest is now 11.15% we checked. current rates it was 9.15 .%. we were shocked it made as to check what was the rate during our loan sanction time. It was same 9.15. we felt cheated . When we asked the bank they said they can't change that. Let's see what can be done for 0.5%increase . Trusting sbi nd not checking the rates was our fault. Now what's the remedy for us. Hope you can guide us. We will be grateful for your help.
Ans: You’ve done the right thing by revisiting and questioning the loan terms. It’s understandable to feel disappointed and betrayed. Many borrowers assume public banks will offer full transparency. But sadly, loan processes — even in SBI — are not always straightforward. Let’s explore your case from all angles and suggest clear remedies.



1. Understanding the Real Issue First


Your SBI education loan was sanctioned at 10.65% in May 2024.



Today, after disbursing Rs. 40 lakh, you’ve been told the new rate is 11.15%.



But the current advertised rate is only 9.15%.



This mismatch raises a key concern: Was your rate fixed or floating?



SBI Global Ed-Vantage loans are generally linked to EBLR (External Benchmark Lending Rate).



That means the interest rate must change as the RBI repo rate changes.



But the reality is, SBI often adds a “spread” or “premium” over the benchmark rate.



This spread is based on credit score, collateral, student profile, etc.



Even if repo goes down, SBI may increase spread, keeping final rate high.



And sadly, banks don’t disclose this clearly unless you ask.



2. What Might Have Happened in Your Case


SBI’s base rate (EBLR) may have been 9.15% during sanction.



But your rate was 10.65%, which means spread was 1.50%.



Now, repo may have dropped, but SBI raised the spread silently to 2.00%.



So your new rate is 9.15% + 2.00% = 11.15%.



This is how banks play with the spread behind the scenes.



It’s not illegal. But it is misleading if not explained upfront.



3. Your Mistake Was Only Trusting Without Verifying


It’s true — not checking the benchmark and spread is common.



Many assume SBI will give best possible rate.



But banks use “pan-India computerized” explanation to avoid individual discussions.



Now that you caught it, it’s time to take the right steps.



4. What You Can Do Immediately


First, send an official written complaint to SBI branch manager.



Ask for detailed loan sanction letter, annexure, and EBLR-linked rate calculation.



Request a written breakup: current repo rate + spread = your interest.



Ask for justification of why spread is 2.00% now.



Mention the advertised rate (9.15%) and ask why you didn’t get it.



Submit this via email and hard copy and ask for written reply.



5. If Bank Doesn’t Cooperate, Escalate in Stages


After 7 working days, if branch doesn’t reply, write to SBI Zonal Office.



You can get email and contact on SBI website under grievance redressal.



Still no help? Raise complaint to SBI Customer Care portal online.



Use this link: https://crcf.sbi.co.in/ccf/



Clearly mention the unfair spread hike, deviation from base rate, and lack of clarity.



Upload all documents, email chains, and screenshots.



You will get a complaint ID. Follow it regularly.



6. If Still No Resolution – Use RBI Ombudsman Route


Wait for 30 days from SBI complaint.



If no response or unsatisfactory reply, file online to RBI Banking Ombudsman.



Use this link: https://cms.rbi.org.in



Fill full complaint history, and attach copies.



You can highlight that loan was linked to repo rate but you were charged more.



RBI may take strict action if SBI is found wrong.



7. Optional But Powerful – RTI Filing


You can also file RTI to SBI Head Office.



Ask:



What was EBLR in May 2024?



What is the spread for Global Ed-Vantage loans for a profile like yours?



Why your loan is now at 11.15% while base rate is 9.15%?



File online here: https://rtionline.gov.in



Cost is Rs. 10. Takes 5 minutes. Use your name and bank account number.



SBI must reply in 30 days.



8. What to Avoid Now


Do not make fresh disbursement of the remaining Rs. 40 lakh unless clarified.



Don’t blindly continue EMI or interest payments without documents.



Don’t fall into trap of “switch to fixed rate” offers from bank.



That can trap you at high rates even when repo falls later.



And don’t assume you can’t fight – RBI is serious about customer complaints.



9. Is Loan Takeover Possible from Another Bank?


After first disbursement, loan takeover is hard.



Very few banks take over mid-way student loans.



But if issue continues, and rate remains high, you may explore NBFC options later.



They may allow takeover if collateral is strong.



But this should be Plan B, not immediate action.



10. What Can You Learn and Apply Ahead?


Always ask for base rate + spread breakdown during loan sanction.



Ask if rate is repo-linked or MCLR-linked or fixed.



Collect the signed loan agreement and annexure with these details.



Ask for email confirmation, not just verbal words.



And monitor repo and EBLR changes every quarter.



11. Financial Tip: Start Small SIP for Education Loan Buffer


Start a monthly SIP to build buffer for future EMIs.



In case interest rate continues rising, this corpus can help.



Use short-term debt fund or ultra short-term fund for this.



This will reduce dependence on fresh disbursement or bank help.



Finally


You’ve taken a bold and right step by verifying everything.



SBI has no right to quietly raise spreads without proper explanation.



You can fight this legally and fairly through written complaints and RTI.



Be persistent, polite, and professional.



Track everything and escalate stage by stage.



Your case can also become reference for many other parents and students.



Take this fight not just for you, but for every Indian borrower.


Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8474 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
Dear Sir, I am 39 Year old with in-hand salary 1.9L. I have an ongoing homeloan of 48L with an EMI of 37k per month. I am paying 50k to principal in every quarter. Also I have a cash in saving account (emergency fund) 10L, Gold 24L, MF around 7.5L and stocks around 4L. Pls suggest if this looks fine or what changes i should do for proper balancing my finances. Shall I focus on loan prepayment or more into investment.
Ans: You have made strong financial progress. You earn well, invest regularly, and maintain discipline. Let’s now do a deep evaluation and give a complete 360-degree plan. We will look at debt, investments, risk protection, asset mix, and your goals.

This will help you get better clarity and balance in your money life.



1. Emergency Fund – Good, but Rebalance a Bit


Rs. 10 lakh as emergency fund is quite healthy. You’re well-prepared for sudden needs.



Ideally, 6 to 9 months of expenses is enough. For you, Rs. 5–6 lakh is sufficient.



Keep part in a sweep-in FD linked savings account.



Move the extra amount to debt mutual funds for higher returns with some liquidity.


2. Home Loan Strategy – Continue Part Prepayments Smartly


Your Rs. 48 lakh home loan with Rs. 37,000 EMI is well within your income capacity.



Paying Rs. 50,000 principal every quarter is a smart move. It reduces interest load.



This gives you a good balance between investment and debt reduction.



Avoid lump sum full closure now. Use part-prepayment method.



This way, you retain liquidity and reduce loan burden over time.



Keep this strategy going for next 6–7 years.


3. Mutual Funds – Continue, But Review the Mix


Rs. 7.5 lakh in mutual funds is a good beginning.



Check asset allocation across large, mid, and small cap.



Avoid overexposure to mid and small cap funds. They are volatile.



Add more to diversified flexi-cap and large cap funds.



Choose actively managed funds only. Avoid index funds.



Index funds don’t adapt to market changes. Active funds are better in down cycles.



Direct funds look cheap, but not better for long-term investors.



Regular funds via a qualified Mutual Fund Distributor with CFP help you track and rebalance.



You get guidance, discipline, and human advice that apps don’t provide.


4. Equity Stocks – Don’t Over-Rely


Rs. 4 lakh in stocks is okay. Keep it under 10–15% of your portfolio.



Individual stocks carry high risk. Not suitable for core long-term goals.



Treat it as satellite allocation. Limit exposure.



Stay invested in quality businesses only.



Avoid over-trading or short-term speculation.


5. Gold – Need to Reduce Overweight


Rs. 24 lakh in gold is very high. It is around 60% of your financial assets.



Gold is for protection, not long-term growth.



Prices can stagnate for years. No income is generated.



Keep only 10–15% of your portfolio in gold.



Start gradually redeeming and shifting to mutual funds.



You can use gold to prepay part of the home loan or invest in flexi-cap funds.



Don’t exit all at once. Spread over next 12 to 24 months.


6. Income vs Expenses – Room to Save More


You earn Rs. 1.9 lakh per month in hand. EMI is only Rs. 37,000.



This gives you high saving potential. Use it well.



Target to invest at least Rs. 70,000 to Rs. 80,000 per month.



Break it into SIPs, debt funds, and some into equity.



Emergency fund and gold already give you base safety.



So now, focus more on compounding growth.


7. Retirement Planning – Need Structured Focus


At 39, you have 18–20 years for retirement.



Start a separate retirement SIP portfolio.



Use a mix of equity and hybrid mutual funds.



This should be at least Rs. 25,000–30,000 per month.



Rebalance yearly with a Certified Financial Planner.



Don’t depend on PF alone. It won’t be enough for modern lifestyle needs.


8. Child Education and Family Goals – Plan Now


If you have children, their future needs planning.



Start a dedicated SIP for higher education or marriage.



Keep it separate from retirement funds.



Education costs are rising fast. Early action helps.


9. Insurance – Must Protect What You Built


Term insurance is a must if you have dependents.



Cover should be at least 15 to 20 times of yearly income.



Avoid endowment or ULIP policies.



If you already have them, consider surrendering.



Reinvest proceeds in mutual funds through a qualified CFP.



Also ensure you have health insurance for all family members.



Check if coverage is minimum Rs. 10–15 lakh per person.



Use top-up plans if base cover is low.


10. Tax Planning – Optimise Smartly


Use full benefits under Section 80C with PPF, EPF, or ELSS.



Avoid locking money into tax-saving FDs with low returns.



Plan HRA, housing loan interest, and NPS for extra deductions.



Use new capital gains rules when you redeem mutual funds.



Equity fund gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.



Short-term equity fund gains taxed at 20%.



For debt funds, gains are taxed as per your slab.


11. Asset Allocation – Time to Restructure


Your current structure is skewed toward gold.



You need a mix of equity 50%, debt 30%, gold 10–15%.



This will give balance between growth, safety, and liquidity.



Do this realignment slowly over next 12–18 months.


12. Investment Tracking – Do Yearly Review


Review your portfolio once a year.



Rebalance if any one asset class moves too much.



Exit underperforming funds and move to better ones.



Take help of a CFP for regular review.



Avoid chasing returns or timing market.



Stick to plan with discipline.


13. Psychological Strength – Stay Patient and Calm


Don’t panic in market falls. Stay invested.



Avoid comparing with others. Your plan is unique.



Investing is a slow, steady journey.



Focus on consistency, not speed.



Celebrate small milestones. Stay motivated.


Finally


You’ve done many things right already. Strong salary, low EMI, good saving habits.



Just reduce gold holding and rebalance into growth assets.



Continue smart prepayment of loan, but don’t be in a rush to close.



Increase investments now, especially into mutual funds and SIPs.



Plan separately for retirement, education, and protection.



Follow a structured plan under guidance of a CFP.



Track yearly and adjust as life changes.



Your future can be safe, growing, and peaceful with this disciplined approach.


Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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