Hello Anu, A friend is having trouble in his marriage of 17 years. The wife got into an affair with a neighbor. Once the friend found out, he took his time to consolidate evidence and now after confronting, both have accepted. The husband is too emotional to let go of the happenings and has taken it to heart like anything (6+ months now). They have a 13 year old kid. Both have come to terms with the fact that they need to be together for the kid's sake, but can't seem to come to terms to even talk to each other, staying in the same house. I have suggested them to stay together as parents and not as a couple (at least, till they are able to sort out the future steps) but there seems no way the husband will communicate with the wife in daily routine, and the wife is helpless as she feels morally guilty in saying anything to the husband. Could you suggest some tips on how to get them communicating so that they are able to at least move forward in some direction or the other?

Hi mam, I have very close friend of mine. He is a doctor and very cool by personality. He is married for the last 26 years but he is not in good terms with his wife ( who is also a Govt. officer) . Actually they are very different persons by nature. His wife always try to convenience him on certain religious faiths but he is a practical guy who believes in doing good with all humans in touch . She still always jeer him in very taunting ways about his belated parents' behavior with her. He has already calmed her by offering her apologies on their behalf. But still she continues again and again. My friend has tried many a time to convince her for new start of relationship but it goes for only 2-3 days and again the same drama starts. I as family friend has also tried to settle the things between both of them (with their permission) but all in vain. Both are 50+ and not now my friend is having blood pressure problems too, He now has started to avoid the situations at home and tries to remain out of home . But this is not the permanent solution of this problem. According to my observation it is really very difficult to convince her on any point. But still I want to help them. Please suggest any possible way-out.-Thanks.

Hello Anu Mam, I have a friend who has been married for 10 years and with 2 kids one 8 yr old daughter and a two year old son. His wife whom he loved and trusted so much had cheated on him with one of her friends for almost 3 years which he came to know about last year. Though he could not digest that and thought of divorcing her but thinking about his children's future he changed his mind and told her to end all communication with him in order to save this marriage .She too had agreed . He hadn't told about this to anyone except me including her parents whom he respected a lot and hence didn't want to hurt them ... But after 3 months he came to know that she was still in contact with her friend using another phone without his knowledge and her affair also had not stopped . This time he couldn't tolerate and told this to her parents and told them that he would be filing for divorce. Her parents literally begged with him not to do so and requested him to give one last chance as they would mend her this time . He told them that even after giving her a chance to mend herself she has cheated again and broken his trust and that he couldn't live with her without trust . So he had decided to move on but his wife and her mother threatened him that they will have no other choice but to commit suicide if he doesnt forgive his wife. He was also worried about his children's future without their mother .. Based on some elders and friends (including mine )advice he gave her one last chance but on condition that there should not be any communication with her affair partner in future and if he comes to know about them being in any kind of contact he would be filing for divorce . His wife and her parents agreed to this and he took her back though not wholeheartedly but due to circumstances. Though they lived under one roof they did not live a harmonious life and lived like strangers and there used to be quarrels very frequently between them . This sometimes had gone physical and on many occasions his wife had threatened him with suicide... And in March this year he came to know that she was in contact with her affair partner secretly using another phone. When confronted she told they were just talking and nothing else...Though there may not be any physical contact this time my friend is very upset and adamant that he wouldn't live with her and want a mutual divorce ...His wife is not agreeing for it and threatening that she would write his name and end her life if he goes for a contested divorce. My friend is too worried about the legal complications if such a thing happens . He is also concerned about his kids especially his daughters future if he goes for a contested divorce based on adultery , the impact it would have on his daughter s future ..He doesn't want to spoil his daughters future ..At the same time he says he cannot imagine living with his wife again after being cheated on twice... Kindly advice what should I advise him ...

Hello gurus.. I have a friend who has been married for 10 years and with 2 kids one 8 yr old daughter and a two year old son. His wife whom he loved and trusted so much had cheated on him with one of her friends for almost 3 years which he came to know about last year. Though he could not digest that and thought of divorcing her but thinking about his children's future he changed his mind and told her to end all communication with him in order to save this marriage .She too had agreed . He hadn't told about this to anyone except me including her parents whom he respected a lot and hence didn't want to hurt them ... But after 3 months he came to know that she was still in contact with her friend using another phone without his knowledge and her affair also had not stopped . This time he couldn't tolerate and told this to her parents and told them that he would be filing for divorce. Her parents literally begged with him not to do so and requested him to give one last chance as they would mend her this time . He told them that even after giving her a chance to mend herself she has cheated again and broken his trust and that he couldn't live with her without trust . So he had decided to move on but his wife and her mother threatened him that they will have no other choice but to commit suicide if he doesnt forgive his wife. He was also worried about his children's future without their mother .. Based on some elders and friends (including mine )advice he gave her one last chance but on condition that there should not be any communication with her affair partner in future and if he comes to know about them being in any kind of contact he would be filing for divorce . His wife and her parents agreed to this and he took her back though not wholeheartedly but due to circumstances. Though they lived under one roof they did not live a harmonious life and lived like strangers and there used to be quarrels very frequently between them . This sometimes had gone physical and on many occasions his wife had threatened him with suicide... And in March this year he came to know that she was in contact with her affair partner secretly using another phone. When confronted she told they were just talking and nothing else...Though there may not be any physical contact this time my friend is very upset and adamant that he wouldn't live with her and want a mutual divorce ...His wife is not agreeing for it and threatening that she would write his name and end her life if he goes for a contested divorce. My friend is too worried about the legal complications if such a thing happens . He is also concerned about his kids especially his daughters future if he goes for a contested divorce based on adultery , the impact it would have on his daughter s future ..He doesn't want to spoil his daughters future ..At the same time he says he cannot imagine living with his wife again after being cheated on twice... Kindly advice what should I advise him ...