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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Someone is from Oman and very less known to me, has proposed my sister for marrying. He is also purchasing a land in Oman in my sister name. But i am confused and worried that how can one do this before marriage. He is coming alone for marriage as told by him their parents are ill and can't travel. He called my younger brother to visit Oman and showed his offices and told him that he is doing some webshop business. Please help and suggest me how to get more information about him so we could avoid any mishappning.

Ans: It's understandable that you have concerns about your sister's potential marriage and the person proposing to her. It's essential to gather more information and ensure her safety. Here are some steps you can take to get more information and make an informed decision:

Communicate openly with your sister: Talk to your sister about your concerns and have an open and honest conversation with her. Make sure she understands your worries and the need for caution.

Research online: Conduct a thorough online search about the person proposing to your sister. Look for any social media profiles, professional information, or any other online presence that may provide insight into his background and character.

Talk to your sister's suitor: If possible, try to have a direct conversation with the person proposing to your sister. Ask him about his background, family, and other relevant details that will help you understand him better. Listen carefully to his answers and observe his demeanor.

Verify his claims: Ask for documentation or proof of the land purchase in your sister's name. This will help confirm if the claims are genuine. You can also consider contacting authorities in Oman to verify the land purchase if needed.

Involve a trusted third party: If possible, involve a trusted family member or friend who can act as a mediator or guide during the process. They can help gather information, ask relevant questions, and provide a different perspective.

Seek advice from local authorities or legal professionals: Consult with local authorities or legal professionals who can guide you on the legal aspects of the situation and provide advice on how to proceed.

Consider a background check: If you still have concerns and doubts, you may want to consider hiring a professional background checking service to gather more information about the person proposing to your sister. They can help verify his identity, background, and any potential red flags.

Remember, it's crucial to approach this situation with sensitivity, care, and open communication with your sister. Ultimately, her happiness and safety should be the top priority, and gathering more information will help you make an informed decision.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2023Hindi
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Hi Anu, I am a 40 year old man (never married) who got in touch with a 39 year old woman on a matrimony site. On the site, her marital status was Never Married but as we chatted suddenly she told me about her first marriage that lasted for a month and now she has divorced that person due to dowry issue. I was taken back with this concealed information but continued to chat with her. One day, I happened to see a pic of her with her cousin brother on Instagram. There was a cake right in front of them that mentioned Happy Anniversary. I asked her about it. She first said it was for Birthday Anniversary. Then she said, the cake shop guy made a mistake and then she said that her cousin brother said 'Tumne bhai behen ka rishta ka ram naam satya hain kar di'. I'm confused now, is this cousin brother actually her husband only or cousin brother. After asking her about this, all she did was delete that pic from Instagram and she said it is her cousin brother only. I then asked her to show her divorce papers, she claims it is with her father in some locker and is confidential, so cannot be shared. She lives in Kolkata and I stay in Mumbai and to take things forward wrt marriage she wants to meet me at Kolkata but I'm confused with all this. Also, within few days of chatting with her she started calling me baby, she claims to have falled in love with me and also suggested we do foreplay when we meet. We've been chatting since 5 months on WhatsApp and I gradually have developed feelings for her. On phone we have spoken twice and we had a video call also once. Please advise on how can I proceed. Is she a fraud?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's difficult to figure out people even when you live with them for years...online connections are something else!

Now that there is a seed of doubt, your mind will not be at rest until you find ways of pacifying your thoughts. Do make that visit to Kolkata and figure out for yourself by meeting her in a public place so that there is no chance of anything going awkward.

Ask her all the questions that you have. And encourage her to ask you whatever she wants to as well. This will make it look not like an interrogation.
Also, in this meeting itself, place all your doubts about the picture and notice what she says and how she deals with it. My suggestion also would be to not rush into the physical aspect right now till you know more about her and her life. If her being a fraud is true, it will only complicate things as she might accuse of you being the one to initiate things physically. So make this trip about getting to know one another and if you are convinced that she is genuine, you may suggest that she can visit Mumbai the next time.

Make sure you give yourself time to make a decision. Online connections do happen; sometimes they are genuine and sometimes not! Which side of the spectrum is yours, you are going to have to figure it out...do just that...

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |589 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Sir, my best friend is a divorcee with 2 kids nearing teens. Kids shuttle between 2 homes. This friend found someone through some app. Henis about 48 and she is 42. She told me that he is a gentleman but she gets intimidated hile talking to him as he is a billionaire with a private Jet and stakes in hotels, airports, infrastructure, companies etc. He is single never married and lost his parents young. They haven't yet met in 2 months. He speaks as if he is married to her and talks about a common future. We tried to do some research but there's not much available. His company name and some other programs that he attended is visible. I am unable to convince her that this doesn't seem real. But she says things about him with so much confidence. I think she is smitten either by his wealth or maybe the prospect of someone confidently saying he wants to marry her. I don't know the reality but think that let a month or two pass. Advised her against going to meet him alone and not to sign up for anything. What is happening what's your advice.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It's great that you are looking out for your friend. You are right, it does seem too good to be true. You have every reason to be suspicious. And, I too would suggest not meeting up alone. This could easily be a scam or plot to dupe your friend. While we understand all of that, she is a grown adult and we cannot force her to stop seeing him. All you can do is continue advising her and offer to tag along, at least the first time when she finally meets this man IRL.

You can tell her that as the Founder of a dating app, I always urge users to be vigilant with people who portray themselves in a larger-than-life manner and suggest to never make any financial exchange or share sensitive information. You can also mention her kids' safety if that helps shake her.

I really hope she isn't being scammed though the possibility of that seems more than of it being real. Please be careful.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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