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Dr Ashish Sehgal |97 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more

Question by yashasvi on Apr 14, 2023Hindi

Hello , I am jee aspirant and it feels like I ruined my carrer because of involving in dating and stuff.. and now i feel helpless because nothing is in my hand . I feel guilty for not standing upto my parents expectations. If I talk about the love life it feels like it was the worst decision. Now I feel stressed and depressed . What shoul I do?

Ans: It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and stressed about your situation. It's important to remember that you are not alone, and there are steps you can take to move forward and improve your situation.

Firstly, it's important to address your feelings of guilt and shame. It's normal to make mistakes and have experiences that don't align with our parents' expectations or our own goals. It's essential to recognize that these experiences do not define your worth or value as a person.

It's also crucial to take care of your mental health. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and develop coping strategies. Additionally, taking care of your physical health through exercise, healthy eating, and proper sleep can help improve your mood and overall well-being.

As for your career, it's not too late to get back on track. You can take steps to improve your academic performance and study habits. Consider seeking out additional resources, such as tutoring or study groups, to help you achieve your goals.

Finally, it's important to remember that your love life does not have to define your career or future. Many successful people have had relationships and experiences that didn't align with their career goals, but they were able to persevere and succeed. You can do the same by focusing on your goals and taking the necessary steps to achieve them.

Overall, it's important to take things one step at a time and to focus on the present moment. With time and effort, you can overcome your challenges and achieve your goals.

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Anu Krishna |819 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2022

Question by AM - Jun 24, 2022Hindi

Hi Anu ma'am, I'm a class 12th JEE aspirant. Right now my life is actually seeming to be over. I have my board exams going on and JEE mains on head. The exams are not a problem but those expectations of performing good are. I've been a good student till now. Scored 96.6% in 10th and was always a sincere and obedient child. My father is an alcoholic and mother, a typical Indian housewife who is all nice, hardworking, busy with house chores, frustrated and tired all day. Before the pandemic life was much easier to me. I would go to school and forget all these problems with my family. Oh I didn't mention that my father sometimes turns abusive and beats my mother. I don't know how safe it is to share here but I wish to confide in you. So this pandemic ruined it all. I had to face the reality of my life at home. I couldn't join any coaching or tuitions as this is not that developed place. I had to manage my studies with all this stress. I kind of ruined all my progress and image as a decent performer in school. I would never in a million years blame my environment for this. My parents love me and always wish the best for me. But right now I'm scoring really low in boards as well as JEE mock tests. All this is breaking me. I always wished to study hard and explore a world outside this little, not so happy house. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get a good government school. I want to make things happy between my parents and maybe if I earn well, I can do something...I don't know what but seems like money can fix a lot of things. I'm really so depressed...I was on anti-depression pills but felt like not to continue them as they made me overthink more...I don't know why. Nowadays I would just go on and sit uselessly or sleep for the entire day as I just want it to get over. Nobody sees how sad I'm. My father is busy with his office work and mother is depressed and traumatized to some levels. I feel like I can't burden them with all this anymore. I talked to my father to get things healthy but he gets all angry and aggressive.... and I'm really weak to face that both mentally and physically. I really wish that you get time to write back to me. I really need some help. I read an article where you answered some queries and couldn't stop myself. I just want to see if it's actually over or I have anything still left in this world for me :(Thank you

Ans:

Dear A,

Thank you for reaching out.

My response will be out here and shared online but your name does not appear, so it will be strictly confidential.

Sometimes we get into situations that we obviously don’t want to be in; like I am sure you didn’t want to be in a place filled with doubts and anxiety.

But hey, do you realise what’s nice about you?

You have a trait that doesn’t believe in blaming her parents and indulging in self-pity. And that’s wonderful and you know why?

Because when you shift focus onto yourself, you start to step up and do something more useful like value and respect your own life.

So, why don’t you start with listing down all the things that you are good at.

Next, the way you used to study earlier was effective; bring that schedule and pattern of studying back.

Write down the goal/outcome clearly and put down steps to achieving it. Exams are just one part of your life and not your entire life.

As for improving your environment, all that you can do now is, fortify yourself from the heated debates and sadness and how?

By spending time with friends who support and care for you, listening to music, indulging in things that you love doing.

And lastly, smile a lot! It will make you feel wonderful from within.

Celebrate what you have and live that moment! And most importantly, love yourself and the rest will follow…

All the best!

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Mayank Chandel |415 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Mar 21, 2023

Question by yashasvi - Mar 18, 2023Hindi

Hi I am jee aspirant ... My family has many complications... And being the only hope it stresses me out and plus I recently started dating a guy .. and now I feel guilty for getting into it .. Many times I get thought to breakup but i couldn't do so .. My heart is filled with guilt ... Jt feels like I am betraying my family .. what should i do

Ans: Hello Yashasvi,
You must concentrate on your goal. Your career should be the first priority now.

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Anu Krishna |819 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

Question by yashasvi - May 17, 2023Hindi

I am jee aspirant and couldn't clear it . I was sure that in 2nd attempt i will do it for sure but when I saw the results they broke my courage. I convinced my self its ok u have many other options but after seeing my cbse 12th results its hard that there is any option left for me. I thought for bits pilani but I am not getting aggregate above than 75% . Now , I have no courage to start again . I am depressed what should I should do. There isn't any single day that I am not scolded for my marks and mistakes . Even now my parents aren't that much supportive like they were . It feels like just because u can't clear ur entrance exam , ur everything is judged. My parents are saying of taking drop but its hard for to take a drop. I don't know what should I do. Every day its getting hard to live thinking that again someone will come and make me count my mistakes.

Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
You win some, you lose some...that is LIFE...

Instead of feeling down and out, pick yourself up and figure out what you want to do next...what are the other options that you are yet to consider. feeling sorry for yourself is not going to push you to make a future.
You can't change what's happened but you can certainly choose how you want things to move ahead...
So shake this low feeling and feeling sorry for yourself off and seek the advice of a senior who you look up to or someone in your family who can guide you on the next steps.
It helps involving someone to help you at this time as you are deep into it already. This person can play the role of giving you independent advice and suggestions without judging you.

1. Seek someone who is a role model to guide you
2. Look ahead instead of harping on what has happened
3. Use failure as a form of feedback from where you can learn
4. Spend at least a month away from academics to rework strategies on how to study effectively
5. Smile through challenges as they only help you grow

And if you still feel that your parents are being supportive, do let them know that you need more of their love and care.

All the best!

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Kanchan Rai |168 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2024Hindi

My son is 13, diagnosed with anxiety spectrum at age 8.His medications have reduced , takes fluvoximine 50 at night, but has social media addiction,what should i do?

Ans: Managing a child's social media addiction, especially when they have underlying mental health concerns like anxiety, can be challenging but crucial for their well-being. Start by having an open and non-judgmental conversation with your son about his social media use. Express your concerns about how excessive screen time can impact his mental health and overall well-being.Establish clear rules and boundaries around screen time and social media use. This could include limiting the amount of time he spends on social media each day or setting specific times when he's allowed to use it.
Lead by Example: Model healthy screen time habits yourself. Show your son that you prioritize face-to-face interactions, hobbies, and other activities over excessive screen time.Encourage your son to engage in offline activities that he enjoys and that promote social interaction, physical activity, and creativity. This could include sports, hobbies, art, or spending time with friends and family.Keep an eye on your son's social media use and monitor the content he's consuming. Consider using parental control apps or settings to limit access to certain apps or websites.If your son's social media addiction is significantly impacting his mental health or daily functioning, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in treating addiction and/or anxiety. They can provide individualized strategies and support for managing his social media use in a healthy way.
Encourage Healthy Coping Strategies: Help your son develop healthy coping strategies for managing his anxiety, such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, or engaging in calming activities when he feels overwhelmed.
By taking proactive steps to address your son's social media addiction and providing support for his anxiety, you can help him develop healthier habits and improve his overall well-being. Remember to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and understanding, and seek professional support if needed.

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Kanchan Rai |168 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Question by T - Apr 18, 2024Hindi

Hi ! I am a 38 year old divorced woman. Its almost 10 years that I got divorced, from a man with whom I was married for 2 months. Since then, I never had a long relationship with anyone. For the past 1 month, I feel I have developed feelings for my cousin (sister) who is 10 years older to me. She too is divorced, long back. (2006). I understand she too has feelings for me. What should I do. Please suggest.

Ans: Navigating feelings for a family member can be complex, especially when considering societal norms and potential family dynamics. It's understandable to feel uncertain about how to proceed in such a situation.

First and foremost, it's important to consider the potential implications and consequences of pursuing a romantic relationship with your cousin. While relationships between cousins are not legally prohibited in many places, they can sometimes face social stigma or disapproval from family members.

Before taking any further steps, it's crucial to have open and honest communication with your cousin about your feelings and concerns. Discussing your mutual feelings in a respectful and sensitive manner can help both of you understand each other's perspectives and make informed decisions about how to move forward.

Additionally, it may be beneficial to seek guidance from a therapist or counselor who can provide support and help you navigate your feelings and the potential impact on your family dynamic. They can also offer strategies for communicating effectively and managing any challenges that may arise.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to pursue a romantic relationship with your cousin is a deeply personal one that only you and your cousin can make. It's essential to prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and consideration for the feelings and well-being of everyone involved.

Regardless of the outcome, remember that you deserve to pursue happiness and fulfillment in your relationships, and seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals can help you navigate this situation with clarity and confidence.

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Kanchan Rai |168 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi

I got married three months ago, during courtship period my ex was in my office but then my marriage wasn't fixed properly ,when it got yeses from both the side I changed my office,but I couldn't tell this to my husband and also I lied about my virginity,he was also not virgin and after marriage I confessed all this ,now he is not forgiving me for my dishonesty and not letting me come home also he abuse me verbally ,slapped me..I also feel like cheated for not letting me know this side of him before marriage..How should I go ahead?

Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your new marriage. It's concerning to hear that you're experiencing verbal abuse and physical violence from your husband. No one deserves to be treated this way, and it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being.

First and foremost, if you are in immediate danger or feel unsafe, please reach out to local authorities or a trusted friend or family member for support. Your safety is paramount.

In terms of next steps, it's essential to seek support and assistance from professionals who can help you navigate this situation. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships and domestic violence. They can provide you with guidance, support, and resources to help you make informed decisions about your next steps.

Additionally, you may want to consider reaching out to organizations or hotlines that specialize in supporting individuals experiencing domestic violence. They can offer confidential support, safety planning, and resources to help you leave the abusive situation and rebuild your life.

It's also crucial to recognize that you are not responsible for your husband's abusive behavior, and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect in your marriage. If your husband is unwilling to seek help or change his behavior, it may be necessary to consider your options for leaving the relationship to ensure your safety and well-being.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be challenging, but you don't have to face it alone. There are people and resources available to support you every step of the way. Please prioritize your safety and take steps to protect yourself from further harm. You deserve to live a life free from abuse and violence.

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Kanchan Rai |168 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 13, 2024Hindi

I am single mother of 12 year old boy and got divorced last year after 7 years of living seperate from my ex husband, I got married in 2010 through matrimonial site and had very toxic and abusive relationship, so I came to my maternal home in 2016 completely. There were many occasions when he approached me and promised to behave properly but failed to do so . He only filed for divorce by making false accusations of being characterless. I gave him divorce and in return I got very less alimony or the amount which was given in cash to them in my marriage. Now I came to know that he remarried and living his life . He is still in contact with my son and sometimes he blame me and my parents for this divorce. My first question is that is he trying to manipulate my son ( he is not bearing any education expenses of my son) And when I ask my son if I can also move on in my life, he refuses and says I don't want to share you with anyone. So I am very confused.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you've been facing. It sounds like you've been through a lot and are trying to navigate a difficult situation for both yourself and your son.

Regarding your ex-husband's behavior, it's possible that he may be trying to manipulate your son, especially if he is blaming you and your parents for the divorce. Children can be susceptible to manipulation, especially when they're caught in the middle of a divorce. It's important to maintain open communication with your son and reassure him that the divorce was not his fault and that both you and your ex-husband still love him.

As for your son's reluctance to see you move on, it's not uncommon for children of divorce to struggle with the idea of one or both parents moving on and forming new relationships. Your son may fear losing the close relationship he has with you or worry about how a new relationship might change his life. It's essential to validate his feelings and reassure him that your love for him will not change, regardless of any new relationships you may have.

It might also be helpful to involve a therapist or counselor who can work with both you and your son to navigate these emotions and provide support during this challenging time. Additionally, continuing to foster a strong, positive relationship with your son and maintaining open communication will be crucial as you both move forward.

Ultimately, while it's important to consider your son's feelings, it's also essential for you to take care of yourself and pursue your own happiness. Balancing your needs with those of your son can be challenging, but with time, patience, and support, you can find a way forward that works for both of you.

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Krishna Kumar |242 Answers |Ask -Follow

Workplace Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2024Hindi

I am mechanical design engineer i started working for a drone startup as a product designer and now i am working as design engineer in a service based MNC, i have total 3 years of experience is it okay if i shift my role into data analytics, business analyst, operations analyst or something like that.

Ans: Hello

Sure you can make a shift, but your last 3 years experience may not be considered. Also while making a shift do ask yourself are you making the shift because you love data analytics or is it because of only money. If it's later then you will end up feeling stuck.

All the best.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |837 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Question by jatin - Apr 24, 2024Hindi

Hi sir, I have invested in sips from last 5 years but I invested through a brooker and he invested and managed my portfolio in regular mutula funds. I have invested like 8 lakhs and got a market values of like 14 lakhs on that investment, but now I want to convert my regular funds into direct funds. I am confused if i should do that or not. As i have got good returns due to covid 19 dip and ukraine war.

Ans: It's wonderful to hear that you've seen growth in your investments over the past five years, especially during the challenging times we've faced due to the pandemic and geopolitical events. The returns you've garnered are a testament to the potential of the market and the right timing.

Transitioning from regular mutual funds to direct funds is a decision that many investors grapple with. While regular funds often come with commission fees that are paid to brokers or advisors, direct funds don't have these additional costs. Over time, these fees can eat into your returns, affecting your overall gains.

However, the decision to switch shouldn't be based solely on costs. It's crucial to evaluate the value your broker brings to your investment journey. Do they offer personalized advice, timely updates, or help navigate market volatility? If yes, perhaps it's worth continuing with them despite the higher costs.

But if you feel confident in managing your investments or seek to maximize returns by reducing costs, transitioning to direct funds could be a prudent move. Remember, every investor's journey is unique, and what matters most is aligning your investment strategy with your financial goals.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |837 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi

dear Mr. Rama. I am new to all these financial jargons but have knowledge that SIP is one way of generating big funds. however, my age is 48yrs now. i want to retire by 65yrs age with a fund of 1cr with me. suggest me a way that I could generate this income.

Ans: Embarking on the journey of financial planning at 48 is a commendable decision. While the world of finance can seem daunting with its myriad jargons, the essence remains simple: planning and consistency.

Considering your age and retirement goal, the concept of SIP indeed holds promise. By consistently investing over time, SIPs can harness the power of compounding, turning regular investments into a substantial corpus.

The beauty of SIP lies not just in its potential returns but in its discipline. It nudges us to set aside a portion of our earnings regularly, teaching us the virtue of patience and perseverance.

Remember, it's never too late to start, and with the right guidance, your goal of a 1 crore corpus by 65 is achievable. Your determination to secure a comfortable retirement is the first step towards a financially independent future.

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Sushil Sukhwani |313 Answers |Ask -Follow

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2024Hindi

I completed B.Sc Costume Design and Fashion and due to managerial area of interest and not wish to do sewing practical wish to continue in theoretical study as Master of Fashion Management at NIFT, but once after I try to join Ph.D in Costume Design and Fashion or Ph.D in Fashion, institution are rejected by saying the reason that I wants to complete my Post Graduation in M.Sc Costume Design and Fashion to join Ph.d in fashion and I gone to join Ph.d in Management they are saying that you must wants to join in MBA not Master of Fashion Management. Finally I join at one deemed university on Ph D in Management Science but many of them convey that due to your PG degree and Ph.d is non sink, definitely you won't get opportunity to work as Lecturer either in Fashion design or Management. So what I want to do, ? If I study MBA online will it's valid and consider online MBA as qualification ? ? or else shall I go abroad and try to become lecture in Fashion design and Fashion management ? If yes which country has more opportunity to work as Lecturer in Fashion, will at abroad they accept my PG and Ph.D degree. Due to non-guidance and by seeing the name of NIFT I joined and facing total regrets. Kindly please give a solution

Ans: Hello. Thank you for contacting us. It is understandable that you have encountered challenges while aligning your career and academics. Coming to the question, let me tell you that for pursuing a PhD, a master’s degree would be a basic requirement. It is advised to go for a full-time MBA abroad instead of an online MBA as it would add a great value to your profile. It is advised to check with your desired university whether the program regarding the availability of the program.
Going further,given your background in fashion, you also have the choice of pursuing a master’s of fashion management from a foreign university. As you said, you are interested in theoretical knowledge, program on master of fashion management from overseas would be of interest to you as it would leverage your knowledge accordingly.
You can consider countries like the USA, UK, Australia, and Canada that have a thriving fashion industry. Also, while studying fashion, you can choose to combine your fashion studies with management-related subjects. It would be good if you let us know if you have thoughts about any country where you would like to pursue your desired course. We will give our best possible guidance.

For any further queries, please get in touch with us. We have a team of expert counselors who can guide you through any concerns or questions you may have.

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Shreya Shah |74 Answers |Ask -Follow

Nutritionist, Diabetes Educator - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2023Hindi

Sir my HBA1C is 6.7 in Sep23 ( it was 12.60 in Sep 2022 & came down to 6.80 in Apr 2023 ), FBS is 89 and PP Sugar is 88 (Sep23), am on Glitaray M1 (MN) since past 1 year, i stated to follow very strict diet from Aug23 - eating seasonal fruits in morning between 9 AM to 12 Noon, green salad before lunch n have millets preparation for lunch, same as lunch for dinner, drink Kashaya during the day, not having milk and diary products, oil, sugar, white rice, wheat, maida, fried food, fast food, junk food, outside food, do Brisk walk for 45 mins about 5500 steps in morning and 1500 steps in evening, Yoga in morning for 20 mins followed by Meditation in morning for 20 mins, my question is my HBA1C is not coming down even though my Fasting & PP Glucose have come down to normal level. please help

Ans: - Avoid sugar, jaggery and honey in ur diet
- Avoid fruit juices, coconut water and sugarcane juice
- Include protein with every meal
- Use cold pressed oils instead of refined oils
- Quality sleep - 7hrs/day
- Manage ur stress levels

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Sushil Sukhwani |313 Answers |Ask -Follow

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Question by Alphones - Apr 11, 2024Hindi

Indian MBBS degree is Not recognized by USA. How can anyone study MD there?

Ans: Hello Alphones,

To begin with, thank you for contacting us. As an answer to your query, I would like to let you know that if a person holding an Indian MBBS degree wishes to study Doctor of Medicine (MD) in the USA, he/she will generally require to undergo a procedure known as "medical residency." There are numerous steps that one will need to consider. Mentioned below is the same:

As the first step, to ascertain whether the candidate qualifies for a license in the US, they will need to get their educational qualifications assessed by organizations viz., the Educational Commission for Foreign Medical Graduates (ECFMG). Secondly, they will need to clear the United States Medical Licensing Examination (USMLE) Step 1, Step 2 Clinical Knowledge (CK), and Step 2 Clinical Skills (CS). Remember that one’s knowledge and abilities to practice medicine in the USA are evaluated through these exams. Thirdly, upon clearing the exams, they will be required to apply for residency posts using the National Resident Matching Program (NRMP) or similar matching initiatives. Bear in mind that residency programs are highly competitive, and applicants need to show their qualifications and compatibility with the program. After being matched, students enroll in a residency training course in the field of specialization they have opted for. Based on the area of expertise, residency training usually takes three to seven years to complete. Lastly, after having completed residency training, students have the option to become board-certified in their field. They can do so by clearing extra tests that the relevant specialist board administers.

I would like to let you know that although an MBBS from India might not automatically qualify someone to practise medicine in the US, they can still pursue a medical career in the country by completing a medical residency program, as long as they meet the prerequisites and conditions.

For more information, you can visit our website.

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