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Overwhelmed with Debt: How Do I Come Clean to My Parents?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1729 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I have taken a lot of loans in past and I have not told my parents about it. Right now I don't have any savings and lied about it like life in metro city is expensive. My father is loosing trust on me as he is sensing that I am not telling the truth. What should I do? I can't tell him about my debts as it may totally broke his heart.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you want to win people's trust all over again, no more secrets...
Come clean and share everything with your father; obviously he wants what's best for you and after maybe some bit of taunting, he's surely going to support you with some good advice on how to get out of this mess.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10836 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2024Hindi
Money
I am in a debt for 40000 rupees. I am a student right now. I am in my third year. I don't know what to do. I can't tell my parents
Ans: Managing debt as a student can be challenging, but there are ways to handle it without involving your parents. Here’s a detailed plan to help you manage and eventually eliminate your Rs. 40,000 debt.

Assessing Your Financial Situation
Understanding the Debt
Total Debt:

Rs. 40,000.
Interest Rate:

Determine the interest rate on your debt. This helps prioritize repayment.
Monthly Obligations:

List your monthly expenses, including essentials and discretionary spending.
Creating a Repayment Plan
Budgeting
Track Expenses:

List all your monthly expenses. Categorize them into essentials (rent, food, transportation) and non-essentials (entertainment, dining out).
Identify Savings:

Find areas where you can cut back. Aim to save as much as possible to allocate towards debt repayment.
Set a Budget:

Create a realistic budget. Allocate a specific amount each month towards debt repayment.
Generating Additional Income
Part-Time Jobs:

Look for part-time jobs that fit your schedule. Tutoring, freelance work, or campus jobs are good options.
Sell Unused Items:

Sell items you no longer need online. This can provide quick cash.
Freelancing:

Use your skills to offer freelance services. Writing, graphic design, and coding are in demand.
Prioritizing Debt Repayment
High-Interest Debt:

Focus on paying off high-interest debt first. This reduces the total interest you’ll pay.
Snowball Method:

Alternatively, pay off the smallest debts first. This gives a psychological boost as you eliminate debts.
Debt Consolidation:

If you have multiple debts, consider consolidating them into a single loan with a lower interest rate. This simplifies repayment and may reduce interest.
Reducing Expenses
Essentials vs. Non-Essentials
Essentials:

Rent, food, transportation, and utilities. Aim to minimize these where possible without compromising your well-being.
Non-Essentials:

Entertainment, dining out, and luxury items. Cut back or eliminate these expenses until your debt is manageable.
Student Discounts and Offers
Use Discounts:

Take advantage of student discounts on essentials and non-essentials. Many businesses offer discounts to students.
Campus Resources:

Utilize campus resources like libraries, gyms, and career centers. These can save you money on books, fitness, and job searches.
Seeking Financial Assistance
Scholarships and Grants
Apply for Scholarships:

Research and apply for scholarships. Many organizations offer scholarships to students in need.
Grants:

Look for grants offered by your university or external organizations. These don’t need to be repaid.
Emergency Funds
University Emergency Funds:

Some universities offer emergency funds for students in financial distress. Check with your university’s financial aid office.
Local Charities:

Research local charities or non-profits that assist students in financial need.
Building Financial Literacy
Educate Yourself
Financial Literacy Courses:

Take free online courses on personal finance. Understanding how to manage money is crucial for long-term financial health.
Books and Articles:

Read books and articles on budgeting, saving, and investing. The more you know, the better you can manage your finances.
Creating Long-Term Financial Goals
Short-Term Goals:

Pay off your Rs. 40,000 debt within a specific timeframe. This is your immediate priority.
Medium-Term Goals:

Start saving for an emergency fund. Aim to save at least 3-6 months’ worth of living expenses.
Long-Term Goals:

Plan for future financial stability. This includes saving for major expenses and investing for the future.
Maintaining Financial Discipline
Avoiding Future Debt
Credit Card Use:

Avoid using credit cards unless you can pay off the balance in full each month. Credit card debt can accumulate quickly due to high-interest rates.
Loans:

Only take out loans for essential expenses. Avoid borrowing for non-essential items or luxury goods.
Regular Financial Check-Ups
Monitor Your Progress:

Regularly review your budget and debt repayment plan. Adjust as needed to stay on track.
Celebrate Milestones:

Celebrate small milestones in your debt repayment journey. This keeps you motivated.
Building a Support Network
Friends and Mentors
Seek Support:

Talk to trusted friends or mentors about your financial goals. They can offer advice and support.
Accountability Partner:

Find someone who can hold you accountable for your financial decisions. This can help you stay disciplined.
Financial Counseling
University Resources:

Many universities offer financial counseling services. Take advantage of these resources for personalized advice.
Online Resources:

Use online tools and resources for budgeting and financial planning. Apps and websites can help you stay organized.
Final Insights
Dealing with debt as a student can be overwhelming, but with the right approach, you can manage and eliminate it. By creating a budget, generating additional income, and cutting unnecessary expenses, you can start paying off your Rs. 40,000 debt. Utilize student discounts, scholarships, and emergency funds where possible. Building financial literacy and maintaining discipline will help you avoid future debt and achieve financial stability.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many students face similar challenges. With determination and the right strategies, you can overcome this hurdle and build a secure financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1729 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello I have a strained relationship with my parents. I am 44 years old woman and married late. And now have twins who are 7 years old. Before entering this marriage, I was working and paid 50% of the earnings to my parents. And tried managing with rest 50% by paying home loan, food and others. It was very difficult but at times, i couldnnot manage on my own as the finances were tight and couldnnot save anything. Later, I took a break from work due to my love marriage and had to settle in a rural place where job opportunities were unavailable. I started a school but things did not go well and had to shut down due to covid. My money which I received from PF, gratuity all had vanished due to the school and my husband business also got into troubles and has no support from families. We were almost on roads and did not have any help. It was difficult to manage with twins. Then, i started with 5 freelancer jobs and made one lakh a month which was needed to support my family. In the interim, i got a good job at Chennai and moved with my husband. He too got a job in a start up and moved with me. His being a work from home could manage my twins while they were at home. While we started earning, again my parents started asking for money and I stopped supporting them, as my sister had started giving them money every month while i got married. My sister is well settled and runs a company abroad. I had got into a job and just settling down and did not want to take pressure again. I have my children and need to save for our retirement too. So, i started saving penny by penny. And due to not supporting my parents they do not talk to me at all. I too stopped as I thought it's better to be far with peace of mind rather than have frequent heart aches. Husband side story is that..after business got lost due to covid, his mother filed case against us stating that my husband brought loss to the business and need to step away and filed an injunction case against us. So, we could neither go to our property or restart business. As such, the case is moving and no relationship with my inlaw. But I always feel when children have holidays ...and children have been unaware of the relationship of grandparents and they yearn to be with them. They are growing up without any love of grandparents and they seem to understand. At time, I feel to help my family but I am scared as they will start squeezing me totally and I will be left with no savings. At this age, I have started to save and need it for our future. Am I doing it right
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Oh, yes, you are thinking and doing the right thing.
You have done what needs to be done for parents when you could and if by not supporting them with money now has made them judge you and distance you, then well, what can you do?
Yes, it's unfortunate that your children don't have the opportunity to get the love and attention of their grandparents, but if you look at how immature they have been and dragging you and your husband down, it's better to keep the children away from all this drama until things settle.
Children don't need a lot of people, they just need people who love them. I am sure you and your husband are doing just that. Focus on yourselves and make it work as a family. You deserve to be at peace after all that you have gone through. SO, don't waver and keep doing what you have so far to maintain that peace of mind.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10836 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2025Hindi
Money
I have total 30 lakhs of debts 3 credit cards outstanding is 4L App loan around 1L After all this I am telling lies to my parents about all my financial issues Every day it's hurting me more than my debts. When I tell myself I can able to clear everything once I talk to my parents I feel to give up after telling lies to them Right now I am earling 1.3L but for money I took from my friends I pay monthly interest Due to bounces all the months no one is giving loan to me Cc notices went home what not I am thinking this is a bad sign for me Can you help me which bank can provide a loan with less cibil how to go for moratorium for cc
Ans: 1. Acknowledge and Accept the Situation
It hurts to lie to your parents every day.

Financial stress impacts your mental and emotional health.

Accepting the truth is the first step toward healing.

Denial only delays recovery and prolongs pain.

A clear mind makes better decisions and lightens emotional weight.

2. Take Control of Your Emotions
Speak to a close friend or a counsellor you trust.

Share without needing repayment help.

Venting reduces anxiety and builds clarity.

Stress affects sleep, focus, and decision-making.

Healthy emotions support rational plans.

3. Evaluate Your Expenses Rigorously
List all income and essential monthly costs.

Include rent, food, utilities, travel, and subscriptions.

Eliminate non-essential costs like streaming or dining out.

Track every rupee spent for one month.

Reducing expenses frees money for debt repayment.

4. Prioritise Your Debts
You have:

Credit cards: ?4 lakh

App-based loans: ?1 lakh

Borrowed funds with monthly interest

Suggested repayment order:

High?interest app loans and friends’ debts
These have highest cost and emotional stress.

Credit card balances
Interest rates are often 36%+ and compound daily.

Lesser-credit debts like EMIs or personal loans once those clear.

5. Call the Credit Card Companies
Ask customer care for moratorium or settlement options.

Many banks offer 30–90 day payment relief during hardship.

Be honest—request supportive measures, not ignorance.

If they offer reduced interest or structured payments, take them.

This may stop notices and EMIs piling up further.

6. Consolidate Debts with a Personal Loan
Banks may still approve a loan if you explain repayment plans.

A ?5 lakh personal loan can refinance CC and app debt.

Consolidation lowers interest and turns multiple EMIs into one.

Use your salary of ?1.3 lakh to pay EMIs promptly.

Some finance companies offer loans to people with poor credit if salary is stable.

7. Explore NBFC or Salary-Linked Loans
NBFCs like Bajaj Finance, EarlySalary, or FlexSalary offer loans with lower credit barriers.

Your ?1.3 lakh salary is strong collateral.

Approval decision focuses on cash flow more than credit history.

Offer proof of salary and bank statements to increase chances.

8. Build a Realistic Repayment Plan
Create a debt repayment calendar showing EMI amounts, due dates.

Pay minimum due on credit cards to avoid penalties.

Allocate salary surplus toward highest-rate debts.

Use part of salary after expenses (~?60k after limiting lifestyle) to service loans.

Discipline and consistency are key.

9. Avoid Further Borrowing
Freeze credit cards via app temporarily if needed.

Don’t ask friends or family for more money.

Stop using money-lending apps entirely.

Build self-control—any future loan restarts the cycle.

Consider only once debts are under control.

10. Be Honest With Your Parents
Hide no more—maybe tell them in a calm conversation.

Say you’re taking steps to fix things.

Their support could relieve emotional stress.

A truthful family environment adds courage.

Transparency builds trust and makes recovery easier.

11. Monitor and Repair Your CIBIL Score
Credit score updates monthly in credit bureau reports.

Pay EMIs and bills on time to rebuild score.

Avoid applying for multiple loans at once.

Use credit sparingly—pay off full statement if possible.

A rising score opens access to better loan options later.

12. Build a Small Emergency Buffer
Aim to save ?10,000–?20,000 while clearing debts.

Use only in true emergency—medical, urgent repair.

This prevents future borrowing when needs arise.

A buffer also calms anxiety about unexpected expenses.

13. Seek Professional Help If Needed
A CFP-backed MFD can help restructure your financial life.

They assist with debt prioritisation, budget building, and credit rebuild.

Important: avoid ULIP upfront, they add costs without short-term help.

Actively managed financial guidance supports repair and future growth.

14. Transition to a Debt-Free Future
Month 1–2

Freeze credit cards

Request moratorium

Begin repayment of app and friends

Month 3–6

Apply for consolidation loan

Start EMI payments

Track spending and reduce costs

Month 7–12

Slowly repay consolidation

Rebuild credit with punctual EMIs

Start small savings plan

15. Learn Financial Discipline
Create budget post-debt

Limit lifestyle expenses

Save a small percentage for future

Avoid payday loans or app borrowing

Reinforce healthy money habits

16. Rebuilding Emotional Well-being
Acknowledge your progress openly

Avoid comparing with others

Celebrate repayments month by month

Engage in stress-relief hobbies and community

Share milestones with family for moral boost

17. Long-Term Financial Rehabilitation
After clearing debts, build a strong emergency fund.

Invest in mutual funds (preferably active via CFP guidance).

Build term insurance and health cover.

Plan for future goals: home, retirement, travel.

Maintain good credit score for future loans or needs.

Final Insights
Your progress starts with honesty, action, and discipline.
You’ve taken the essential first step by seeking help.
Start with moratorium and consolidation.
Set a rigid repayment plan and control lifestyle expenses.
Slowly rebuild credit and preserve emotional health.
Eventually you will free yourself from stress, regain trust and build a brighter financial future.

You are not alone in this—reaching out for help shows the path forward.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |228 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 10, 2025

Money
Hi, I'm 49 married with 2 kids aged 16 and 11. I work in mid mgmt in a Finance co. Wife is 45 works at a Bank. Combined annual salary is 80 lakhs. Live in a home which just got loan free. Have a rental income of 40k monthly that my wife gets. Mom also lives with us and she gets a rental income of 45k per month. I have invested in a small office space which will be ready by mid 2027 and has a construction linked plan, have to pay 40L more. I Have stocks of 45L and EPF of 60L PPF of 12 L. Have ancestral property in land at native place not much but say 25L. Mom has pledged 50% of her assets to my sister. Liability of office and company car is 6L. School fees and tution fees are paid from rental income and wife chips in. There's maintenance, club membership fees, insurance, repairs and maintenance, kids pocket money, groceries, internet, mobile, maids etc. which I pay. I'm thinking of quitting my job and starting something on my own. I am a guest lecturer at a college which is pro bono and also helping 2 Startups of friends over weekend with a tiny equity stake in one. Is it a right decision? Pressure at work is high, growth chances are minimum. Many colleagues asked to go. The environment isn't very encouraging. Pls advise if I'm ok financially with about 45 lakhs liability. Never got a chance to save as EMIs were 75% of income. I'm unable to get a direction.
Ans: You are 49, with a stable dual-income family, home loan cleared, and some investments in place. You feel stagnated in your job and want to start something of your own. It’s a natural and valid thought at this life stage — but the decision needs to be planned, not impulsive.

At present, your financial base is decent but not fully liquid. You still have about ?45 lakh in liabilities, upcoming education costs for your children, and limited cash reserves. Your wife’s job and rental income can sustain household expenses, but not much beyond that.

The wise move is to continue your job while you explore your business or investment idea part-time. Use the next 18–24 months to:

Clear pending loans, especially the office property.

Build a minimum ?20–25 lakh emergency corpus.

Fund your children’s education separately.

Test and refine your business idea alongside your job.

Before quitting, also discuss openly with your spouse whether she is comfortable with you stepping away from a steady income. Her emotional and financial comfort will determine how smooth your transition is.

In short:
Keep your job, continue your startup or investing interest part-time, strengthen your finances, and plan a structured exit once liabilities are cleared. Freedom feels best when it’s backed by security, not uncertainty.

Contingency buffer and health insurance details:
For detailed financial planning and portfolio reconstruction, please connect with a Qualified Personal Finance Professional (QPFP).

Disclaimer / Guidance:
The above analysis is generic in nature and based on limited data shared. For accurate projections — including inflation, tax implications, pension structure, and education cost escalation — it is strongly advised to consult a qualified QPFP/CFP or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD). They can help prepare a comprehensive retirement and goal-based cash flow plan tailored to your unique situation.
Financial planning is not only about returns; it’s about ensuring peace of mind and aligning your money with life goals. A professional planner can help you design a safe, efficient, and realistic roadmap toward your ideal retirement.

Best regards,
Naveenn Kummar, BE, MBA, QPFP
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered MFD
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

...Read more

Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |328 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Nov 10, 2025

Career
Hello. I am currently a student in Amity Noida with a 100 percent scholarship in BTECH BIOTECHNOLOGY course. I have been alloted ICAR-IVRI izatnagar, Bareilly for the same course. The fees is not a problem anyway. My ultimate goal is to go abroad for foreign studies and work. I already have spent 2 months in AMITY and have started adapting to the atmosphere, the study, the people and my hobbies. I live in Delhi. I will have to shift to Bareilly for IVRI, which will take me time to adjust with, being away from close people and it will temporarily take a toll on my gym training. I wanted to ask if going to amity or IVRI matter when I am applying abroad? Will being in Amity Noida, detoriate my chances of going abroad? Should I let go the chance of IVRI or will I regret it heavily? Is staying in Amity fine or should I go to IVRI for the name? The course alloted in IVRI is also Btech Biotechnology. A response would be truly appreciated.
Ans: Both Amity Noida and ICAR-IVRI offer BTech Biotechnology, so academically you’ll be fine either way. For studying abroad, admissions focus more on your grades, projects, research, and profile than the exact college name. Since you’ve already started settling in at Amity and it’s close to home, staying there won’t hurt your future plans. IVRI has a strong reputation, but moving and adjusting could temporarily affect your well-being and routines. If comfort, stability, and continued growth matter to you now, staying at Amity is perfectly reasonable—you won’t be at a disadvantage for abroad opportunities.

...Read more

Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |328 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Nov 10, 2025

Career
Hello. I am currently a student in Amity Noida with a 100 percent scholarship in BTECH BIOTECHNOLOGY course. I have been alloted ICAR-IVRI izatnagar, Bareilly for the same course. The fees is not a problem anyway. My ultimate goal is to go abroad for foreign studies and work. I already have spent 2 months in AMITY and have started adapting to the atmosphere, the study, the people and my hobbies. I live in Delhi. I will have to shift to Bareilly for IVRI, which will take me time to adjust with, being away from close people and it will temporarily take a toll on my gym training. I wanted to ask if going to amity or IVRI matter when I am applying abroad? Will being in Amity Noida, detoriate my chances of going abroad? Should I let go the chance of IVRI or will I regret it heavily? Is staying in Amity fine or should I go to IVRI for the name? The course alloted in IVRI is also Btech Biotechnology. A response would be truly appreciated.
Ans: Both Amity Noida and ICAR-IVRI offer BTech Biotechnology, so academically you’ll be fine either way. For studying abroad, admissions focus more on your grades, projects, research, and profile than the exact college name. Since you’ve already started settling in at Amity and it’s close to home, staying there won’t hurt your future plans. IVRI has a strong reputation, but moving and adjusting could temporarily affect your well-being and routines. If comfort, stability, and continued growth matter to you now, staying at Amity is perfectly reasonable—you won’t be at a disadvantage for abroad opportunities.

...Read more

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