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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Jyoti Question by Jyoti on Mar 23, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

If someone cut contact with male person in toxcis relationship then male person black mailing to female how to do on that case kindly help me out

Ans: If you’re being blackmailed, you need to involve a lawyer and/or the police. Do so at once.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |182 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2024

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Relationship
hi i want to help my friend so need guidance from you . she had an affair with unmarried guy he use to care for her and always stood at her toes for everything without fail . but for some time he started giving excises for not picking call and replying messages , but kept on managing relationship . like talking in late hrs calling as and when but not in that way as in starting of the relation. meeting her . they had fights often when she saw few calls coming on his phone he diverted her like she is my didi or have some work and bla bla . these become fights of daily . now he started avoiding her messages replying according to his convenient time . or not picking call over night when asked he says was sleeping or busy . And not telling exactly where he was is he engaged somewhere els . I told my friend to drag herself out of these thing but she is v upset .due to all this . its been 2 years only . What should she do
Ans: Dear Minu,

You were right in advising her to get herself out of this relationship; it sounds exhausting trying to keep track of where he is, what he is doing and why is he acting this way. It is unfair, but sometimes people just fall out of love; they change and there is nothing one can do about it. The best thing to do in this situation is to slowly get yourself out of this and move on. It is easier said than done, but unfortunately, this is the only advice I can give.

If she is desperate to hold on to him, she can confront him and try to sit him down for a clear and open discussion. But that rarely works. Again, it's unfortunate, but it happens time and again.

I am glad to see you standing by your friend during this time. I am not sure how much you can help her with suggestions, because people in love rarely tend to listen to reason, but even being there for her is plenty helpful. Hope you can help your friend through this rough patch.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 10, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Dear Anu, Long story please read About the this incident : I am in really a bad situation from last 7 days, My father-in law took, my wife and my children away because, I asked about her attractive behavior (Sexual tentative not sure) , she has shown towards our neighbor. I already directly warned her about his wrong starring twice, year before when we went for 4 families trip. (I have proof from her google account to show she has done wrong searches about him like searching for nickname of boyfriend with his designation etc ...) She is running her own business which is started by her on my encouragement and running ok from 7 years. Suddenly for some work, I called her she is missing from her office for 2.5 hours and no one knows where she went, After 2.5 hours I got a call and when I asked, she said Its a surprise and will tell later. Next day too she said It is secret and will tell later, third day too she said she went out for roaming.(my surprise was, in hot summer day on byke roaming at 10.15 am to 12.15 am ... na naa something is wrong). I started tracking her email by taking her password and notification accepted by her on her mobile. Then I realized the web activity(she was not aware of these things will get stored in google till then), as I said above like gift for boy friend and romantic nick name for someone special who is having xxx designation etc ... always smiling person. Attraction synonyms ... casual sex and serious relationship difference a video etc... All these are only from starting of 3rd March 2024. My Heart was broken, as I am staying in different city and already have plans to go home in few days, I somehow manged 2 days and went home. Next, I was all-over her with big fight. I was blaming her for everything even not feeding kids on time, as I was saying she gets time to spend on chatting or searching etc... I was literally went to nuts, as I warned about him to be careful 2 years ago couple of tiimes. She said she is innocent, she didn't searched all the above I have shown her photos taken from my mobile with her track. she asked how did you know I searched for her, Because of using his designation in search. Finally she agreed she meet him for 15 mints on some professional work, on 16th march and went out after that for another place. But google timelines shows she was at home for entire 2.2 hours. why should she lie for remaining 1.5 hrs if there is nothing wrong happened. why should she say 15 mints only, when she meet him for a profession reason for 2 hours. I am literally not satisfied with her answers. Next day morning my mom returned home, (she don't know anything) from a function in other city which she went 10 days ago. (All these episodes happened next day my mom left home according to search history). Suddenly wife in early hours kept suicide note and left home. I was just sleeping in next room, my mom saw the note and woke me up. Finally we found her on our terrace staircase sleeping there as she takes medication for sleep, she has zero negative artistes. I booked ticket for her dad immediately and asked him to come same day, shown him and explained him all this. That day he is calm and asked what you want to do. I was thinking positive that he tells her not to repeat and stay for a week and go home. He said he wanted his wife to talk to her(my mother-inlaw), I said book ticket for her but unfortunately tickets were not available, seems he is also not interested to book ticket. After next day I intentionally went out by taking my daughter for 3 hours informing, I am going out for 3 hours to him. I thought he will speak to her privately to help her understand. But not sure nothing happened my mother said, he was sitting in living room whole 3 hours and she is in bedroom. Next day she said she is not going for office as I am doubting her behavior.(My in-laws never wanted her to work from start marriage) . But before marriage it self I informed them I am looking for a working wife. As they didn't let her attend job interviews, I am forced to invest in business, my hard earned one year salary with loan and made her owner there. I thought she would be also be happy as owner. She is happily running this for 7 years (of-course no profits and I never insisted too much on profits too as I already closed the loan in 4 years from my salary). Past Episode 1 : 1) when we got arranged married, I was in love with a girl and also deep relationship staying with her for few years too. I just gave her a hint as I took her for my GF marriage reception. (Even I loved her my GF with full heart, due to known reason for both of us, I informed her, I will not marry her before, I stay with her). Once she found a letter from my GF and wrote an email to her husband about out Love afair, I am not sure he took that seriously. 2) My wife also have some love story but, I never asked about that as he didn't want to revel that any time.(its ok before marriage something happen in life), I have an idea about that within short span of marriage, as she was sending messages after 11.30 pm etc. After observing couple of months, warned her twice not do so. one day I was anger and left to office, as I saw her texting again previous night. Evening when, I returned home, she was crying like a baby sitting in living room saying as she had swallowed 10 tablets given to her some reason to attempt suicide. I was shocked and rushed her to hospital and fortunately able to save her. Never discussed about that anytime after that. Episode 2: After around 8 years of smooth life and 2 children, after starting the business one night, I was watching movie in living room and went to bedroom, wife suddenly got surprised and hiding her mobile. I asked her why are you hiding and give me the mobile she didn't, I tried to get the reach of mobile and she didn't let that happen as she hold it strong, I left and came back to other room to sleep. But next morning, she was showing anger on me and vice-versa, I had a quarrel and called up her dad after 3 to 4 days, That time he asked what is the proof she is chatting with someone in night, I don't as I didn't snatched her mobile forcefully. He said she won't do anything like that and asked to be peaceful, after few days thing became normal, as I also don't have proof, I thought it might be mistake my side too. Episode 3 : She started going to a super market everyday at particular time every day. Even though she comes though same road just 1 hour before, she wont stop and get items form there, she used to go after getting ready every day for 15 to 20 days, I observed pattern. Generally she goes with my kids skating to classes in our gated community only and used leave from there. I used to go and meet some friends near that skating classes after a while, but some times she used to be not there, I Observed the pattern she was missing continuously from 15 to 20 days after dropping kids there, I followed by my car and searched didn't found her in the regular place where she tells, after 15 to 20 mints, I was standing there she came to the place, when I asked her she said she went for Vegetables shop near by and shown place and a couple veg's she bought. I was working in reputed software org and earning well. I always think about my wife and children even, I am away from home. For example I go to airport, I buy chocolates for my children, I check, If I can get my wife a good watch deal or buy a bag as she like watches but wont try to spend 200 for a coffee in airport. I go to GOA with friends buy clothes from there, by reducing the bottles, I always show lot of love towards, children and wife as I was working from home past 4 years. Love doesn't mean, I tell her I love you or something, but I always felt pain if she is not well or I never said no, If she asked me take for shopping or somewhere etc. we are always going to movies Of-course its on my interest. never restricted anything for her to spend. Point to note she always spends carefully too. I only encourage her to spend more for to buy anything she wants. This is our present. Taken them to holidays now and then etc ... with all above episodes she says I am doubting her, Am I really? or she is creating the situations? 1) Even after warning not send messages after 11.00 pm in night or asked whom she sent no answer. 2) Episode 2 hiding mobile and giving mobile to me 3) Episode 3 even though she comes in same path every day for a specific time staying in same place 4) Episode 4 Even after warning her about bad starring going for professional her with out discussing and deleting call history of him ( 11 sort calls of 40 to 60 seconds and 2 calls on 4 mints each, in a span of 20 days) and mid night searches etc... am I bad guy? or am I trying to saving my wife from this evil intentions we know in society? What if I would have left her for the them, will my family relation will stay, what would it shows her as? will I become a responsible husband? Now she is trying for a job in her city with parents encouragement and trying to get admission for my daughter in Garde 1, even she has completed Garde 2 this year. Not sure about my son yet. She is spoiling daughter studies. My cute children are not with me now, I came back to my office and staying in PG from yesterday. Not able to concentrate on work or other things, literally crying at times in wash rooms.(even at airport when I saw children of my age went to washroom and cried a lot). what should I do go and beg her for getting angry on her? tell her with whom ever you chat and go I wont bother come home? or leave her and children for their fate? what the use for earning this salary when I cant spend time with my children? everyone says wait for her realize her mistake, If she gets job and takes admission in school will she even consider coming back to me? her mother always controls her father, same her sister in-law with her brother(love marriage). Now my mother and couple of friends(close) say, if I go she will treat you like a slave she will come and do same thing again you cant even ask her. After going home they tried to destroy the evidence I have by formatting mobile by logging into google account and erase device. That is a business mobile she didn't even bothered about customer base of 7 years contacts. Fortunately I could recover contacts. I could also get to know her personal email id that's how I cam to know about her job search and admission search of children. what should I do now? Please advice immediately.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
My suggestion to couples who are at constant loggerheads and on the verge of a marriage breakdown:
- What can you do to put your marriage back together?
- Can you trust one another yet again?
- Are you both willing to set aside your differences and work towards your marriage?

You have given a detailed account of what has happened and one thing seems clear is that there is NO trust left within your marriage. This itself will prevent you from getting back together. Agreed that you have reasons and proof to doubt her, but if you both want the marriage to work, you will have to start fresh.
Also, the fact that she is searching for a job and also admission for the children suggests that she is looking at moving on without you. So, instead of making assumptions on what is happening and hoping for something to happen, it's time to request for a one-on-one chat with your wife. She may decline, but no harm in trying. The chat can bring forth what she has in mind and if she also wants to be in the marriage or move on. Knowing, asking, understanding can help and guide you on the next steps.

No point going around in circles playing this Hide and Seek game as a couple. Sit down, talk it out and take firm decisions. Your marriage will need a lot of trust and love to be rebuilt; are you willing to go through this journey?

All the best!

..Read more

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Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |333 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
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Hi, my daughter is doing +2 (medical) in India. She want to become doctor. What are the options for her to become doctor in US? What she needs to study in US after her +2 (medical) in india?
Ans: Hello. Thank you for connecting with us. It is amazing to hear that she wants to pursue a medical program in the USA. However, let me tell you that before applying to any medical school, international students should make sure they have completed a four-year bachelor's degree with all of the prerequisite classes needed for the particular medical school being applied to. The prerequisites vary as per the school, but almost all schools require the students to have studied the following science courses: biology, general chemistry, and organic chemistry. Some schools may also require that you have taken other humanities, English, mathematics, and science classes as well, so make sure you look into medical schools while you are still an undergraduate so you can choose your classes appropriately. You will also need to have completed the MCAT test, which stands for Medical College Admissions Test. The test will determine your ability to think critically, problem-solve, and write clearly, as well as measure your knowledge of various scientific concepts. A good score on the MCAT is key to getting into a good medical school. International students must complete a pre- med program, which may take 1-2 years to complete at a US university, to start a degree in medicine in the country. The student will then be required to complete a 4.5-year degree after the pre- med to be awarded an MD degree under AUAMED.

For any further queries, please get in touch with us. We have a team of expert counselors who can guide you through any concerns or questions you may have

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

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Sir, I am 72 years old and want to invest Rs 15 lac in M.F, in swp.already invested 22 lac in MF .I am high risk taker . I want swp amount after one year. Please suggest M.F schemes . Thanks
Ans: Given your risk appetite and requirement for SWP after one year, it's crucial to focus on mutual fund schemes that offer potential for high returns while considering the relatively short investment horizon. Here are some suggestions:

Large & Midcap Funds: These funds invest in a mix of large-cap and mid-cap stocks, offering a balance between growth potential and stability. Look for schemes with a track record of consistent performance and experienced fund management.
Sectoral/Thematic Funds: If you have specific sectoral preferences and are willing to take higher risks, you can consider investing in sectoral or thematic funds. These funds focus on specific sectors or themes like technology, healthcare, or infrastructure, offering the potential for higher returns but also higher volatility.
Aggressive Hybrid Funds: Aggressive hybrid funds invest primarily in equities with a smaller allocation to debt instruments. They are suitable for investors seeking growth with relatively lower volatility compared to pure equity funds.
Flexi Cap Funds: These funds have the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations based on market conditions. They offer a dynamic approach to asset allocation and can adapt to changing market trends.
Mid & Small Cap Funds: If you have a higher risk tolerance and a longer investment horizon, mid and small-cap funds can potentially offer higher returns. However, they also come with higher volatility and risk, so careful selection and monitoring are essential.
When selecting mutual fund schemes, focus on factors such as fund performance track record, fund manager's experience and strategy, expense ratio, and risk-adjusted returns. Additionally, consider diversifying your investments across multiple schemes to spread risk.

It's advisable to consult with a certified financial planner or investment advisor who can assess your financial situation, risk tolerance, and investment goals to provide personalized recommendations aligned with your needs and preferences.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2024Hindi
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Money
I have been laid off by my company and I have a PF balance of around 22 lacs. I read we are allowed to withdraw 75% if we are laid off and being unemployed at least for a month. I am thinking if it is a good idea to withdraw this 75% and invest in diverse options like mutual funds, FDs or corporate bonds which give better interest? I see mutual fund options in many apps these days with some good performing funds giving 33% returns on 3-year average. So should I consider investing at least 50% of my PF corpus in that option and balance in others? Please advice.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about your job loss. With regards to your PF withdrawal, it's essential to carefully consider your options before making any decisions.

PF Withdrawal: Yes, you are eligible to withdraw up to 75% of your PF balance if you are unemployed for at least a month. However, withdrawing this amount means depleting your retirement savings, so it's crucial to evaluate the long-term implications.
Investment Options:
Mutual Funds: Mutual funds can offer potentially higher returns compared to traditional options like FDs. However, they also come with market risk, and past performance is not indicative of future results. Consider investing in a diversified portfolio of mutual funds across different asset classes and fund categories to mitigate risk.
FDs: FDs provide stable returns and capital protection but offer relatively lower returns compared to equity investments. They can be suitable for short to medium-term goals and for preserving capital.
Corporate Bonds: Corporate bonds can provide higher returns than FDs but carry credit risk associated with the issuer's ability to repay the debt. Investing in highly-rated corporate bonds or bond funds can offer a balance of risk and return.
Asset Allocation: Consider diversifying your investments across different asset classes to manage risk effectively. You may allocate a portion of your PF withdrawal to mutual funds for growth potential, while also keeping a portion in safer options like FDs or bonds for stability.
Financial Planning: Before making any investment decisions, I strongly recommend consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a qualified financial advisor. They can assess your financial situation, understand your goals and risk tolerance, and provide personalized recommendations aligned with your needs and objectives.
Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund to cover your living expenses for at least 6-12 months in case of unexpected financial setbacks.
Overall, prioritize prudence and long-term financial stability when deciding how to utilize your PF corpus. It's essential to strike a balance between risk and return based on your financial goals and circumstances.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

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Money
Hello sir, All our corpos mostly 90% is in debt(in the form of FDR's, SSSC, LIC etc) and rest 10% in MF and ULIP. I am 32 years and my mother is 61 years. I am working professional in tier 2 city and mother is retired from government job. I am seeking a financial advice to balance out the investments in debt and want some exposure in equity by investing through MF's. We have a total of 3 cr in debt and approx 40 lacs in equity market. Please suggest us the suitable mix so that our corpus would also grow and expenses would also meet out. Our total expenses per month would be around 35 K. Please also suggest the names of mutual funds to start investing?? Regards, Bharat Manik
Ans: Hello Bharat,

It's commendable that you're seeking to balance your investments and diversify into equity through mutual funds. Here's a tailored recommendation for you and your mother:

Balancing Debt and Equity:

Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund equivalent to at least 6-12 months of expenses kept in liquid instruments like savings accounts or short-term debt funds.
Debt Investments: Since you already have a substantial portion of your corpus in debt instruments, continue to maintain this allocation to ensure stability and regular income. Consider diversifying across different types of debt instruments for optimal risk management.
Equity Investments: Given your age and long-term investment horizon, it's prudent to gradually increase your exposure to equity through mutual funds. Start with allocating a portion of your investable surplus to equity funds.
Suitable Mutual Funds:

Diversified Equity Funds: Look for well-managed diversified equity funds with a proven track record of consistent performance. These funds offer exposure to a broad range of stocks across sectors and market capitalizations.
Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds dynamically manage the equity-debt allocation based on market conditions, making them suitable for investors seeking a balanced approach.
Large Cap Funds: Consider large-cap equity funds for stability and lower volatility. These funds invest in large, established companies with a track record of stable earnings.
Hybrid Funds: Opt for hybrid funds, which invest in both equity and debt instruments, offering a balanced approach to risk and return.
For personalized recommendations and to ensure your investment strategy aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance, I recommend consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a qualified financial advisor. They can provide customized guidance based on your unique circumstances and help you navigate the complexities of financial planning.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 05, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Sir/Madam I have invested in various equity funds of different AMCs. Can I get any app or some kind of reliable advisor who can track my investments and suggest switching from non performing funds to performing funds. My goal is just wealth multiplication and I am aware of market fluctuations. During Covid, remained invested in all my equity mutual funds. Kindly guide.... Thanks and Regards
Ans: For personalized advice and guidance on your mutual fund investments, I recommend consulting a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) who holds Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials. MFDs with CFP qualifications can provide comprehensive financial planning services tailored to your specific goals, risk tolerance, and investment preferences.

Here are some benefits of working with an MFD with CFP credentials:

Holistic Financial Planning: A CFP-certified MFD can help you create a comprehensive financial plan that aligns with your long-term goals, including wealth multiplication through mutual fund investments.
Personalized Advice: They can offer personalized investment advice based on your individual financial situation, risk profile, and investment objectives.
Portfolio Review and Optimization: An MFD with CFP credentials can regularly review your mutual fund portfolio, identify underperforming funds, and recommend suitable switches to potentially better-performing funds.
Risk Management: They can assess your risk tolerance and recommend an investment strategy that balances risk and return to help you achieve your financial goals.
Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing: CFP-certified MFDs can provide ongoing monitoring of your investments and rebalance your portfolio as needed to ensure it remains aligned with your objectives.
By working with an MFD who is also a Certified Financial Planner, you can benefit from personalized, professional advice and guidance to make informed decisions about your mutual fund investments and overall financial plan.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

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Money
Hello Sir, I have the following Mutual Funds Investments, request you to let me know if these can be continued with or need to discontinue any of them, also please let me know new good performing funds to invest in. One time investment: (1) ICICI/ India Opportunities Fund - Growth - ?2,50,000, (2) ICICI/ Value Discovery Fund - Growth - ?2,50,000, (3) ICICI / Transporation & Logistics Fund - Growth - ?2,00,000. SIP Monthly: (4) Axis Flexi Cap Fund - Regular Plan - ?5,000, (5) Canara Robeco Emerging Equities - Regular Plan - ?5,000, (6) Aditya Birla SL Focused Equity Fund(G) - â‚15,000, (7) HDFC Mid-Cap Opportunities Fund(G) - ?5,000, (8) ICICI Pru Bluechip Fund(G) - ?5,000, (9) Axis Small Cap Fund - Regular Plan - ?5,000, (10) ICICI Prudential Technology Fund - Growth - ?5,000, (11) L&T Midcap Fund - HSBC Midcap Fund - ?5,000, (12) ICIPRU Multi-Asset Fund - Growth - ?5,000, (13) ICIPRU Value Discovery Fund - Growth - ?5,000. Thank You.
Ans: Based on your current Mutual Funds Investments, here are some recommendations:

Existing Investments:
ICICI India Opportunities Fund: Review the fund's performance and consider its alignment with your investment objectives. If it continues to meet your goals and performs well, you can consider keeping it.
ICICI Value Discovery Fund: Similar to the above, assess its performance and suitability. If it has delivered satisfactory results and fits your investment strategy, you may continue with it.
ICICI Transportation & Logistics Fund: Evaluate the fund's performance and prospects in the current market scenario. If you're confident in its future growth potential, you can maintain your investment.
New Fund Recommendations:
Consider diversifying your portfolio by adding funds from different categories such as large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap.
Look for funds with a consistent track record of performance, experienced fund managers, and a robust investment strategy aligned with your risk profile.
Conduct thorough research or seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor to identify suitable options based on your financial goals and risk tolerance.
Review and Adjustments:
Regularly review the performance of your existing investments and make adjustments as needed based on changes in market conditions, fund performance, and your financial goals.
Monitor the expense ratios, fund manager's track record, and the overall portfolio diversification to ensure optimal investment outcomes.
By carefully assessing your existing investments and making informed decisions about new fund allocations, you can build a well-balanced and diversified Mutual Funds portfolio that aligns with your long-term financial objectives.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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